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Here is all the content that TSGuyFromID has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
Best wrong number . . . ever
I received a call on one of our customers direct lines, I looked up the customer number off of the caller ID and the following is a transcript of the call:
Me: Thank you for calling COMPUTAR Technical Support, in ID. My name is TSGuyFromID, who am I speaking with from Customer Name?
Caller (Slightly slurred speech): Hi, TSGuyFromID. I'm **** and I'm looking for some companionship to a, uh, function I'm attending tonight.
Me: <Pause> This is COMPUTAR. A computer manufacturer.
Caller: Oh . . . . . <Hangs Up>
[By: TSGuyFromID]
Comment on Story
Comments
"Certainly sir, two things, can I confirm the number you are calling? Thank you, and now there's the small matter of the deposit, may I have your credit card information please? -spectreoflife
What? He wants a date for a LAN party, what's wrong with that? *poof* back to hell I go - redevil34
thank you for calling $ISP, no it dosn't stand for Incognito stylin' pimps. damnit! -SpitefulTech
Infectious Syphilis Pricks? -Stryker One
Looks like somebody hit the wrong speed dial button. -LordObsidian
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2.
SF on Parade
I get this call:
ME: (Openin spiel, including phrase) Can I have your system serial number, or previous case number?
SF: Where would the SN be?
ME: On the very back of the tower.
SF: Hmmm . . . . (noises of things being moved around) . . Product Key?
ME: No, it would be on the very BACK of the system.
SF: Oh here it is. (Gives me the SN)
ME: It looks like your system is out of warranty, what can I do for you?
SF: Oh, I'm just looking for my Windows Product Key.
ME: (Head slams keyboard)
[By: TSGuyFromID]
Comment on Story
Comments
You will find that up your ass along with your brains -THETECHFROMHELL
charge him the OOW tech support rate and read it back to him..... -leonine
Oh my god - what a joke. We must talk to the same people :) -jard
"May I have your service tag, please?" "The serial # on my monitor is ()" "The Service Tag can be found on the main box, on either side or the back." "The Express Service Code is..." "Oh, very, well, let me change modes... repeat that Express Service Code again, please..." "The Service Tag is..." GGGGRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! -MadJack
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
That it is EVER just a 'simple question'.
[2004-07-30]
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Tech Rules
Customer Types
Co-Worker Types
Customer E-mails
EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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1.
When asked for his systems serial number
SF: Hmmm, let's see . . . . Solar System . . . . . .
WTF????!!!!!!!!!!
[2004-12-22]
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2.
This came in to one of our support e-mail boxes. There were two e-mails one in Russian and then this one, which they apparently translated into English using babelfish.altavista.com:
The soporific action of oxygen cannot be identified with the action of usual soporific preparations, since in contrast to the latter oxygen is the physiologically necessary substance, without which is unthinkable the vital activity of organism.
[2004-12-02]
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3.
While loading files during a reload of XP: 'Oh, wow. Humane Interlace Parson! That sounds exciting, what is it?'
[2004-08-12]
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4.
From an ex-coworker to an EU: Tech - How is your printer connected to your computer, USB or Parallel? EU - Ummm, it isn't connected with either! Tech - Well then, how does the information get from the computer to the printer? Osmosis?
[2004-08-05]
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5.
Doing tech support for HP DeskJets I once received a call that included this: ME - What are you trying to print? EU - Umm, well, I don't really want to go into too much detail, you seem like a nice young man. Suffice it to say that it's pictures of me in a bathtub getting VERY clean.
[2004-07-30]
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6.
Just had a customer tell me this: "I have trouble typing because I'm a-huntin' pecker?"
[2004-07-30]
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