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Here is all the content that TieDyedDinosaur has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
Now you've done it!
Change requests are submitted 'x' days in advance or special circumstances must be explained for 'short forcast' changes. Copying a successfully built change request is a favorite process. A colleague of mine created a standard forcast change request from a 'short forcast' one but forgot to remove the 'special circumstances' text. The change was returned to have that corrected. But then, of course, it was within the 'short forcast' time frame so the text had to be re-added!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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2.
I didn't understand it was a challenge!
For a client account that I support, there were automated revocation activities for unused IDs. Nearly everyone who had an ID with this client got their ID revoked when a particular scheduling SNAFU occurred. Re-activation was nearly as complex as the original request, four separate validation steps. One evening at 10 PM I received notification that my ID was re-instated and included an admonishment to 'try to keep my ID active'. Early the next morning the automated process again revoked my ID since I had not changed the password since the evening before. I hadn't realized the admonishment was really a challenge! "Just try to keep your ID active!" would have been a bit clearer!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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So, will get written up for not meeting-the-challenge? -Stryker One
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3.
fake antivirus gives up easily.
The neighbor across the street (remember the 'tweek squad' hosed the restore partition on his laptop?) caught the fake antivirus (sysguard.exe). Luckily I had set him up with a separate Admin and User accounts. Malwarebytes took two passes to find everything. Then a DSN flush and turn off Proxy and everything is back to normal.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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I hate those fake AV/AS infections. I have a new favorite tool that I use in conjunction with mbam, they seem to compliment each other, and this one is portable requiring no install (link to lifehacker article so you're not just taking my word for it): http://lifehacker.com/5452406/superantispyware-portable-handles-spyware-like-a-champ -MasterOfNone
Just had to get rid of some SOB fake antispyware and 2nd the tool linked. The super antispyware worked like a charm. Now all I have to do is have my step dad quit going to those porn sites. I have several links that wont infect machine.. -docfl
Once cleaned, check out returnil http://www.returnil.com to keep it that way!
- Divinar
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4.
Keep the Karma Koming!
Just begging for one more shot of Karma here. Interview tomorrow at the big kite factory.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Send all I can Spare. Hopefully you can make the "bouncy" place better. -Stryker One
Karma from Konnektikut on the way! -CTYankee
All of the spare Karma I have is yours for the taking. Best of luck to you. -persephone
Good luck, dude! -Grue
Job karma is all yours (on temporary loan as I really want to get a job closer than 150 miles from home).
-Ramblin
Karma from Albukerke ;-) -EMTGeekGirl
*casts karma* -compbrat
Kold Kanadian Karma Kast. Kite faktory? -LDFeral
here is all that I can spare, it's been good to me -Phylok
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5.
Help with a sewing machine!
Friend of my wife's had filled up her 'external hard drive', wanted to learn how to empy it again. Turns out it was a fancy sewing machine (embroidery type) with a USB connection. When plugged into a PC, it appears as an external hard drive. Since it looked the same as a USB Flash drive, it wasn't difficult to lead them through moving the files back to a folder on the PC. Stand by for the next time, it will probably be a frikkin' toaster!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Actually this is nothing new, sewing machines have been using patterns on storage media for a while. Mine uses 3.5" floppies, and I wouldn't be surprised to find ones out there with 5.25" or even tape drives. -LazyLemming
So did you zip the files? <lures TieDyedDinosaur to think I hid in the LART-shelter> -Dr Jerkyl
Tape drive! You young whipper-snapper! http://www.let.rug.nl/koster/musicbox/musicbox1.htm 8-) -AussieFoot
One problem with many of these sewing machines is that they often use 2.5" floppies -- very hard to find outside of a sewing machine shop. (And they cost what a laptop used to about 10 years ago!) -Captain Trips
Aussie: I have an 1898 Regina Music box on my bench right now. Freaky. -ThinTheHerd
"A frikkin toaster" you say?... http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/854a/ -SoldierJedi
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6.
Karma request.
Happily unemployed so I can enjoy the holidays with a fat severance check and a really nice possible employment opportunity starting next year. If you have spare karma (or even some charmed lint) in your pocket, I would appreciate it. If this position falls through, I'm probably going to have to move to Dubuque Iowa!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Oh, God, not Dubuque, anything but Dubuque.... <bfeg>... karma on the way... I'm in the same boat w/ ya', and my severance check gets there in a week. -duckhead
One shipment of Karma is being sent out. Just make sure to sign for it when you receive it. -AdeptusMechanis
Sending all I can spare. -Stryker One
Job Karma fire incoming! (Dubuqe? $Deity help ya, you'll be in or near burrkiss land! (G)) -MadJack
Mighty low on karma myself, but you're welcome to all the charmed lint I have! -OgdenTechGuy
Good luck! -Grue
A chilled Karma six pack headed your way, drink quickly for full effect. -DarkRookie
<Sets up vendor tent>Okay, we've tapped may Kegs-O-Karma today, stocked up on glasses and we're GIVING IT AWAY! Step right up and enjoy a cold glass of Karma Lite! Karma Bock! Karma Pale Ale! Whatever you need, we got it for free here! Igor! Tap more Kegs!</end carnival spiel> -ecoli
may==many -ecoli
*casts karma* -rosemetal
huh... usually the Karma drops from a transports.. uhh.. OKay surgical or carpet bombing? lets do both! Loading a Ac-130, a wing of A-10's with hellfire karma, a few guided karmas , unguided.. and what the hell - been wanting to try out this B-52 for a while... Load 'er up! and lets get you Canned in tmie for Christmas! -Harm
Kinda low onKarma, due to exams at the University, but sending what I can! -Dr Jerkyl
Thedford Neb is worse than DBQ-town, by a long ways!! A couple of summers ago I'd have traded with you in a heartbeat! -jerrybear
*casts karma* -compbrat
Flying you a Karma Kite -lurker
->-- ->-- ->-- Karma laden lawn darts in the air and on their way... -Grayhawk
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7.
N-E-S-T-L-E-S makes the very best p*rn!
From TheReg - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/28/cereal_shocker/ - more than just empty calories!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Already posted in break room under P0rn Flakes -Necros
"Boooooobiessss..." <CLICK!!> -vacuumtubes
Just don't ask where the milk comes from... -ChildofCthulhu
Well, I for one am taken aback. To think that my company's parent company would do such a thing is unthinkable. (Then again, if their IT security is like ours, it's VERY thinkable!) -Captain Trips
Gets me going in the morning, nyuk,nyuk,nyuk. -Biosynthetic
Funny, I wouldn't have complained about the porn, considering the sugar content in those "cereals" is a bigger issue. -Stryker One
I 1 - wouldn`t have complained and 2 Stocked up! i cann BS though...wasn`t familar with the wheelbarrow MY ASS. or 3 somes.. -Harm
My first thought would have been a redirect of some thought rather than the wrong link on the disc. On the other hand Kaspersky did once send out malware to their customers. -AussieFoot
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8.
A literary treasure chest.
Went to Barnes and Noble to spend a gift certificate, found a treasure chest - ALL of the New Yorker cartoons on DVD inside a large coffee-table book of the same. $19.99 USD. Remember the original Adams Family?
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Wow! That was a $60 (or more) book! Is it a nationwide deal?? -figglywig
It was in the 'book deals' aka 'clearance' area so it may be somewhat random. The barnesandnoble website shows it still at $60. -TieDyedDinosaur
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10.
My home town made the news.
I grew up in Lakeside, California, a place now infamous for a 19 yr old for assault, kidnapping, battery and of course, robbery. Of an old lady from La Mesa. Cops pulled him over for speeding in El Cajon, in her car, with her tied up in the back. Such fond memories those place names stir!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Someone needs to bring back the death penalty for kidnapping of this sort. Makes me seethe that KIDS would do that to a 75 year old woman. What fine monsters society is raising up... >:-( -vacuumtubes
I was thinking that the little twirp could be her 'bitch' for the rest of her life. -TieDyedDinosaur
Makes us proud when bad news about Sandy Eggo makes national headlines. </sarcasm> OTOH, one wants to shake her hand just for outlasting them. They'll get the book thrown at 'em, sure 'nuff. -MadJack
See... that's why nobody wants me in any position of power... To hell with these assholes sitting on death row for 10, 15, 20+ years.. If you're to be executed, you've got 72 hours to get your affairs in order. Then you're shot. That's it. No lengthy stays on my dollar, no oversight committee to see if it's humane... Just 3 days and a lead bullet. Then into Potter's Field you go. If people saw that we were harder on criminals, there'd be more thought put forward before they do shit like this. -exzyle2k
I wondered what that was about. I saw her onscreen on last night's news, but we had the volume muted due to a family emergency. She looked badly beaten, but she's still alive and at home. -Captain Trips
While I like exyle2k's solution, it does possibly violate the principles of the Founding Fathers: "better that a thousand guilty men should walk free, than that a single innocent man should be executed." My feeling is this: If it's a capital crime, delays of proceedings requested by the lawyers will not be allowed. By law, capital cases move to the front of the docket, and will be heard within 45 days of the charges being laid. Allow 72 hours after the verdict to file an appeal or a plea for clemency, no automatic appeals. Appeals will be ruled on within 15 days, and if granted, will be in court within 45 days, of the date of the appeal. At the end of 72 hours after final sentence is pronounced, he gets a minimum of 12 hours to prepare, and then execution the following dawn. The difference is this: Exyle's plan does not allow for appeals, which have become a rather vital bit of the law. -chazz
I saw her pic on the local news too. I figured it was a home invasion, but she wasn't Asian (Happens alot here in SD). -billybien
I gotz planz for them: just got a new industrial-strength wood chipper at the Home Depot in El Cajon. -Biosynthetic
Aw c'mon. San Diego (my own home town) also gave us Brenda "I don't like Mondays" Spencer and James Huberty. This guy's just another knucklehead. -MeanDean
I like the way they do it in China. You get sentenced to death, they take yououtside and shoot you in the back of the head. Done! Well, then they bill your family 15 cents for the cost of the bullet. -atomicbill
Was I the only one expecting to see rape in that list? -Cogeno
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11.
Com-plastic brainies
My neighbor switched from a cell-phone card internet service (he had been doing electrical estimating in the field) to ComCa** and had the installer get to the point where he connects the laptop to the modem. Ooops, no ethernet device in hardware display. Claims the last shop to work on it (worstbuy) must have removed the hardware! I didn't mess with it, give them an old Verizone wireless DSL rooter-modim and turn on wireless for the laptop. Laptop is happy, neighbor is happy, I get nice dinner at steak house, I'm happy. Last saturday power outage scrambles something, I go over and fix in 10 minutes or so. While I'm there I check BIOS for disabled LAN connection and enable it. Oops, did ComCa** not CHECK that? My mistake was assuming that they had indeed brought brains with them!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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A Comcrap field tech may or _may not_ know what s/he's doing, but they invariably just don't give a damn. -Seamus
Isn't the Demarc for Comca** the CableModem? -Stryker One
Most of the newer lappys I've seen will also disable the NIC if there is no connection to save battery power, so a reboot while plugged in to Ethernet will bring 'em back. -TheCyberwolfe
technically the dmarc ends at the ethernet port on the modem, if the power light lights up when it gets plugged in,DING! fries are done! and comcrap is already racing out the door. considering what they pay for field techs, i'm not suprised. -SpitefulTech
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12.
Update on Terry Childs San Fran case.
http://www.infoworld.com/archives/emailPrint.jsp?R=printThis&A=/article/08/07/18/30FE-sf-network-lockout_1.html - It appears that instead of the clear 'disgruntled employee holds city hostage' it is more like 'Highly qualified engineer refuses to let monkeys play with the routers anymore!'
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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I know of several Network and Sytem Admins who would feel that way (including myself), however, it is wrong to run things as if you are indispensable because we all should know that we aren't. One should always leave things so that "getting hit by a bus" will not lead to significant down time. -TubPorsche
One point in his favor is that the system continues to run without his hand on the switch. But the key point is that his managers knew this was the way the network was being run and did not disapprove of it. -chazz
I totally called that.
-drachen
Tub- I have that "in case I get hit by a bus" file... in a safe, at my house, and only the wife knows about it... and she doesn't have the combo <grin> Needless to say, "hit by a bus" is not synonymous with "fired." -MasterOfNone
Am I the only one who feels that if I'm indispensable, I'm not promotable? In any circumstances, the prudent tech will provide for their own absence! -maven
Maybe he could leave some clues, that lead to some other clues, that lead to even more clues, that lead eventually to an ancient mason treasure. ... or something like it.. -TheGhost
I hear Dan Brown knows the location of the root password. <on a side note, if they are cisco devices..can't they be re-flashed with default settings?> -neuman1812
I expect the Cisco gear could be reflashed with default settings, but if that happens, it's quite likely that the network would fall down. Switch configuration is apparently not even committed to NVRAM on those switches, so a reboot loses all your routing info. In this case, I think the cure might be worse than the disease. -chazz
I get a lot of what the co-worker says re. his personality & his ... paranoia (to put it strongly) but if he hadn't been arrested, he wouldn't have 'locked down' the network... Funny, I thought initial reports said he was arrested *for* locking down the network? -rosemetal
You expect accuracy in reporting? How naive. -MisterCommon
Being Cisco devices, Password Recovery can be run to replace learn or replace the active passwords (whether encrypted or not) -Griffin2020
Chazz- It depends on which switches they are. The 3560s have the ability to save the config to Flash. If the SF switches do not have that ability, what happens when (not if) the power goes out long enough to cause the switches to be shut down? -Griffin2020
According to what I heard, while the switches have the capacity to save settings to flash, he deliberately never used that. If power goes down, he has to manually reload the routing tables and other settings. And Rosemetal, I understand that the network was already locked down... that according to the coworker, that was its default state. -chazz
I still want to offer this man sexual favors.Tha's all. -Ara
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13.
My computer is screaming!
My wife comes upstairs and complains that her computer is screaming! I check and it is indeed making a very high pitched noise, but luckily it is coming from the speakers, not anything with expensive moving parts. The last thing she had done was allow Adobe to install an upgrade 7.1.0 and reboot. Apparently that adds some feature that lets Adobe 'read' things to you audibly. Whatever they were trying to accomplish was not done quite right. De-installed and downloaded an older version, computer is quit again!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Get rid of Adobe. If all you need is a PDF Reader, get Foxit reader. No bloat, no annoyingly useless updates that screw things up. -SirJosh
Thanks, SirJosh. If anyone wants to know where to look, it's in this list: http://tinyurl.com/z7skj Enjoy. -Seamus
Agreed, I hate Adobe Reader. -Seamyst
<D.A.> Perhaps it was working correctly, and it was reading a horror story? </D.A.> -TheGhost
I now officially want Foxit's babies. -Rissa
Ooo, awesome utility site. Bookmarked. Thanks Seamus. -SirJosh
Dude! You make me twitch.... Adobe 7.1.0?! And de-install? *head shake* Day in and day out: "Which Adobe is that, sir? Adobe is the company name, and they make a lot of programs." -sandpuppeteer
We had an incident recently where Acrobat Reader 8 caused - ready for this? - 361GB of download traffic to our proxy. The request went out from the client PC but on the way back in the proxy blocked it, and the client's request kept getting re-sent. We were lucky that our ISP (just switched to a new one) decided not to charge us for the bandwidth. -Enzedder
Quick Fix for Reader Bloat - move the contents of the Plug-ins folder to different folder. -PolarCoyote
If the pc is screaming, take the dongle out. You've put it in the wrong port!! -unrenowned
I prefer Preview myself. -Ichiro
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14.
Spaghetti wiring
I helped a FOAF with resolving a problem getting com-'mold' internet access this weekend. The problem was caused by far too many splitters/amplifiers/old cables. Imagine, if you can, an installation where the cable attaches to the North end of the house, is tacked up around the side, back and other side to the original cable location where it encounters a splitter that was already present. Fine. Now the two cables head back around the house, one goes downstairs to an amplifier to support three TVs. The other cable goes nearly all the way back around the house and up to the second story.
This second cable now proceeds to enter a maze of: An amplifier, a splitter, another splitter and then an amplifier/distribution point. One of the six outputs then goes down into the garage to another splitter, each of the outputs goes to a separate room, one of which is the office. In the office there is now a splitter to connect a TV and the modem. No connectivity, apparently the bandwidth was being throttled just a bit too much SOMEWHERE! Solution was to add another splitter at the point where the new cable was added and put a line directly to the office, which was less than twenty feet away. And, of course, replacing a couple of sick end connectors on other cables as well as the odd stub terminator for unused splitter outputs. I am NOT going to mention what the phone lines looked like, there must have been two dozen outlets in the house!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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"Don't anybody move! Hold it right there! A *FUSE* is out..." </The Old Man, A Christmas Story> -vacuumtubes
I've talked with many installers, and the reason that shit happens is because the sucktomer is too cheap to pay for a home to be properly fished through walls, so they tell the teck to just run it around the house and go from there. HSI (and for that matter VoIP) should be right off the first leg, no amp. Not behind 3 splitters and about 100 yards of weather-cracked RG-59 stapled to the siding. -deskmonkey
I had cable hooked up at my current home, but couldn't get the net, I looked, had 9 splits right at the box. -LazyLemming
Spaghetti wiring: I visualize you unshaved and wearing a hat and a poncho, explaining the customer you'll fix his wiring "for a fistful of dollars". <Cue Ennio Morricone's music> -TheGhost
Sometimes it's a lot easier to just rip it all out and start over. -atomicbill
Youch! -rosemetal
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15.
How to deal with uppity equipment
From The Register - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/04/bofh_2008_episode_12/ - Imagine if we could schedule a little 'drive-by-EMP' event for selected suctomers!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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The same way you deal with uppity starfish - Otis. -VFox
or Jerry. True, Jerry is over MUCH quicker. -GoblinKing
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16.
Truth in advertising
"Over Crocked" in description of video care. This is Fry's which is the Walmart of consumer electronics. The advertisement was part of a full-page newspaper ad.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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And in that theme, video care should be 'video card'. -TieDyedDinosaur
Fry's is a four letter word. -DuckyFuzz
I love going to Fry's when I need something. I just know better than to ask a technical question to the floor team. They are either sales sharks or mindless "Ummm, it's over there" drones. I once had to help out a worker with a lady because he didn't know about USB drives. Lady: "I just want to backup my files. There aren't many; about 50 or so. I heard about a small device that can do that for me". I had to interrupt the guy's empty look and said, "Ma'am, what you want is a USB thumb drive. They can be found in this aisle (*pointing now*). I can help you choose the right one for you". The guy just lost a commission for being stupid and wasting time in getting me what I went to get. I forget what it was, but I remember that I did not have access to it. Possibly a monitor or something of the sort. -UnderLord
Forgot to mention, this was about a year ago. USB drives are NOT uncommon. -UnderLord
I worked as a tech there.... it was sad. -LazyLemming
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19.
And a reputation is born.
A co-worker was late to a meeting and another co-worker suggested he was 'brewing some de-caff'. Somehow it got heard as 'breaking some knee-caps'. It is now proper to ask if he is late who's knee-caps are getting it.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Ah, so, he's in "the family business". -Stryker One
My spoose says "Yes, proper". Mind you, she is part Irish, so I assume this is cultural. -Mysty
My bad, I misquoted. It was 'Out BRUISING kneecaps.' Damn, too much sugar again. Happens every Halloween. -TieDyedDinosaur
Bruised kneecaps take on a whole different meaning... (paging Burkiss!) -VFox
"I gets my scrilla from bustin' caps." -AmazingKreskin
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20.
Fanatic squirrel firebomb.
From 'The Register' - http://www.theregister.com/2007/10/24/kamikaze_squirrel - Suicide firebomb squirrel.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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I always knew that Foamy would burst into flames some day. -Fuji
Feel my squirrely wrath! </Foamy> -SalParadise
Jihad squirrel, explaining that to the insurance company must have been a laugh -r3tude
tree dwelling, communist, bushy-tailed tree rats... good thing I'm a card carrying member of the anti-squirrel coalition http://www.antisquirrel.com/ and NADS found here http://www.anti-squirrel.com/ -TechnoTherapist
god memories of living in new jersey and those damn rats with bushy tails. the squirrels there are dangerous, i think once one held up a bank or something. -postal tech
Does no one remember the Ubersquirrel 2000 launcher? Old, old tsc.
-AngrySup
Or Tha Chuckshot, from Flintlocke's Guide To Azeroth... -Seamus
I saw this one earlier today, sent it to two CWs and their faces were a mirror of mine -WTF? I'd loved to have seen the face of the poor sap in the claims department when they received that one! -Loon
I gotta show this article to my mom. She's convinced that there's a "terrorist" squirrel out to get her. I thought she was ...dear $diety, I almost typed "nuts"...I thought she was crazy, until I saw the rodent in question. It follows her around the backyard, when she's sitting in the kitchen, it sits by the door or window and stares at her, and when she sits outside, if she's under a tree it'll drop things on her. It has a large white spot on its side, so we know its the same one. When I tell her there's a suicide-bomber squirrel, she'll prolly arm herself. Oh, we're in Jersey, too. -beerman
lol beerman! You should get video of it. It'd make a great youtube video "Stalker Squirrel" -SillyGirl
*laughs at the Squirrely Wrath beginning* -Warrick
NOT PilZY! nooo!!! -Harm
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22.
Not quite clear on the concept.
From Clientcopia website - My boss is a complete moron and a raving lunatic all rolled into one twitchy, befuddled package. I was designing a new part and he wanted to review it so I sent him some CAD drawings. And even though he has no clue what it is I do, how I do it, or in fact any understanding of the requirements for this design, he's the boss so he gets to "suggest" (order) changes.
And since he has this new, very VERY expensive laptop we get to meet in his office to look over the design. Or in other words he wants to impress me with his new toy. Which he has no clue how to use, and got totally hosed when he bought, but he figures he paid a ton of $ for it so it must be the best.
Within two minutes of opening the drawings it's obvious he has no idea how to use the CAD program so he whips out a marker and, wait for it, DRAWS ON THE SCREEN!. I'm dumbfounded. My shock must have been obvious because he said, "Oh, don't worry, it's a dry erase marker." "Sir, I don't think Sharpies come in dry erase form." The look on his face when he realized he'd just ruined a computer that literally cost more then my car was freakin' priceless.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Oh boy, *wipes a tear* I almost fell outta me chair on that one. Priceless. -Slartarama
nuke and pave, charge out the ass and replace the lcd as well. -AdmiralLaurie
Isopropyl alcohol will largely, but not completely, dissolve Sharpie ink. However, it is very likely to craze the antiglare coating on the screen. So it can be made somewhat better, but blurry. IMHO, not my job to fix; let him send the fscker back to the factory and let them laugh about it too. -chazz
Try some Folex carpet cleaner (Home Depot) I used some on a coffee table made of wood and it took out sharpie marks without removeing the finish. -YoYo
Can't...breathe....hoo boy! -FormerSithLord
A little GOJO hand cleaner will take that off. -vacuumtubes
What a dumb-ass! -Zayda
whimper -evolvedstarfish
If that one landed on my line, it would have been mute button time. -56Kdaytrader
It would've been on speaker phone for us..... -FormerSithLord
Finally, someone has found an advantage of CRT's over LCD's! Sharpies aren't permanent on glass! (Which is why we use them for stained glass work. Washes right off with just water. In fact, sometimes it comes off TOO soon!) -Captain Trips
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser works great on sharpie marks. Now I just need to find a rag to clean my keyboard. -adarklite
How do you know a blondfish has been useing the laptop? -SpitefulTech
and people wonder why i guard my LCD screens with a stanley knife. I hate people fingering my screens, i can;t understand peoples need to touch them, that guy would have had his fingers removed
-r3tude
building a watchtower for people like that -udaduno
tell him a belt sander will take that right off -stiffarm
Spit! Spit will take off that ink! -Madrigorne
Wait until he tries to use rubbing alcohol to clean it off!! ROFLMAOOMFGBBQSauce!!!!111111 *LART shelter HO! -unrenowned
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24.
Inappropriate use of phrase.
Wife person is talking to Dish Network Tech for a DVR 'Hard Drive Error' problem and he wants her to 'disconnect the DVR from the wall'. What he really meant was to disconnect the power. She wanted me to unhook the three coax cables. The power wasn't connected to the 'wall', it went to a surge protector in the cabinet.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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What would happen if the DVR were mounted on the wall? -EtherRabbit
Didn't you mean "what would happen if the fishie were mounted on the wall?" -SimianMilitant
SM - They did that already: "Big Mouth Billy Bass" (aka that damn annoying singing faux fish toy) -racermd
for some reason having a cx disconnect the power from the wall is the most difficult of things. it doesn't help the Dish's techs are from india -areatech
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25.
Troubleshooting Magazine Archive
http://www.troubleshooters.com/tpromag/archive.htm - Some interesting, some loser stories. Lots.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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26.
So that's why it runs so hot!
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/lesserdoodleindex.html for microscopic artwork on integrated circuits. One of the newest is a 30 micron tall 'Godzilla'.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Bigger geeks than us with TOO much time on their hands... *shakes head* -TheMacOne
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28.
Outsourced intelligence
I am trying to get a disbursal of pension funds so I can convert it to a retirement account managed by someone I trust.
The benefits folks are very nice and helpful, 'we will send you the package of forms, fill it out and send it back.'
They send it, I fill it out and return it.
A letter comes back, 'You need to fill out and have notorized a spousal consent form.
Yep, I knew that, where's the form?
I call the nice folks again, ask for the form. 'We'll send it right away.'
They send the same original packet of forms, with a checklist that says that I haven't sent them a spousal consent form.
I call them again and carefully explain the situation. 'OK, I'll be sure that you get the form.' I can tell by the careful, friendly speech that they are following a script but really can't place the accent. What are the odds that either the script is defective ('f they need to submit a spousal consent form, press key J'), they lack a certain amount of training or they are just trying desperately to make good AHT?
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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D: All of the above -deskmonkey
Think that's bad? My wife is trying to roll over a 401k from an ex-employer. The problem is the employer died. The only person authorized to do anything about the 401k's is his ex-wife. She's not the executor of the estate and is therefore unwilling to do anything as she believes she's not legally allowed to. -Loren
Don't get me started on what my mom had to go through getting my grandfather's pension for my grandmother...suffice it to say I think they relented when our lawyer and the Retired Secret Service assn. got involved. Five months later. -Dreamstalker
<da> Loren, I can't really blame her for not wanting to stick her hand in that meatgrinder. 401ks are extremely complicated. As far as I know, a company that sponsors a 401k is legally not allowed to manage it on its own, but rather must use another trustee company to handle alot of the paperwork and money dispersal. This was my experience pre-Enron, so I don't think it is any easier today. That being said, the company that handles the mechanics of the 401k should be the only ones actually authorized to transfer the funds. </da> -bewaretech
Kinda sucks they don't have the forms online as PDFs. My old employer was pretty good about that - for their investment products. For life insurance, they still only use paper. "I have to mail in a check? How quaint!" -thx1138
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31.
Sci-Fi product
From The Reg - http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2006/10/24/plastic_logic_demos_bendy_display/
(/Red Planet)
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Bend me, shape me anyway you want me, long as you love me, it's all right </American Breed> -SalParadise
"You've got the power to make it all right!" </American Breed/> -TubPorsche
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32.
Roger, Badger on fire.
From The Reg - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10/24/smouldering_badger/ BBQ - English style.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Was that badger cooked with mushrooms? -SalParadise
Badgers...Badgers... WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGERS!! </UHF> -TheSingingTech
"If we built this large wooden badger..." TWHAPP!! <Obligatory MP> -MadJack
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33.
More science trivia
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/ - interesting things such as a girl who folder a piece of paper 12 times.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Um... 1) She first did it with gold foil, not paper. 2) Second time, she used toilet paper, and kept folding in the same direction, instead of the classic way. -FredKlein
So, what you're saying, Fred, is that she found not one, but TWO ways to do the "impossible". I say "Bravo!" and may more unconventional (or un"classic", to use your terminology) thinkers continue to expand what is 'possible' over what is not! -LoTech
Quite the opposite. She did NOT 'do the impossible'. Any fool can change the conditions of an 'impossible' task to make it possible. It's like what Kirk did with the Kobayashi Maru test- he didn't BEAT the 'impossible to beat' scenario, he CHANGED it into a 'possible to beat' scenario. Don't get me wrong- that's not necessarily BAD. But it's not the same thing. -FredKlein
folding a 1.2km long peice of paper 12 times is not the same as folding a standard letter size piece of paper. I suppose it's not cheating but it isn't kosher in my mind. -NOFXfan
I say its still impossible.
I grew up in Pomona, CA. NO one is that smart there. -Blackneto
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34.
Coffee Soap
Caffeine Soap
by Alan Parekh @ 8:08 pm. Filed under What Were They Thinking
Took a double take when I stumbled on this product!
“Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning coffee to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who don’t regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Caffeinated Soap, the caffeinated soap from Xoxide…
Engraved with a glorious “C” for Caffeine, scented with peppermint oil and infused with caffeine anhydrous, each caffeine soap bar contains approximately 15 servings per bar with 250 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we’re not kidding and no you don’t eat it. The caffeinated soap is absorbed through the skin…”
This is from Hacked Gadgets - http://hackedgadgets.com/category/what-were-they-thinking/page/2/
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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And this is different from ThinkGeek's ShowerShock soap how, exactly? -chazz
How is caffeine supposed to be absorbed through the skin, without something like DMSO? -56Kdaytrader
A lot of things are able to be absorbed through the skin. In this case, the peppermint oil is probably the agent. Unfortunately, I have to have male hormone replacement and use Androgel. The active solvent in that is ethanol. -MSimmons777
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35.
The Alice and Bob story
http://ipadventures.com/?p=332 for an amusing look at things like 'secure communications'.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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{**bibbleda-bibbleda-bibbleda**} I, uh, I guess you had to have been there... 8^P -MeanDean
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38.
Swallow Speed Estimation
For all those Monty Python Fans:
http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/
Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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reminds me of the sex in the city ep, when she goes to the sex clinic, and dr asks "do you swallow?", reply " only when surprised" -Jax
which has nothing to do with the link, justthe title.... -Jax
Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer... -Gmork
1. WHAT... is your name? 2. WHAT... is your quest? 3. WHAT... is the only scene in the movie that contains a real horse? -Gaah
"we'll build a wooden badger and...." -Tarantulus
badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger.... -Blue3c
Ok, here's a poll. Who's the better King Arthur? Graham Chapman from the original movie or Tim Curry from Spamalot? -TheSingingTech
The world's shortest identifiable movie quote: "Ni." -maciarc
First you will go into the forest and chop down the mightiest tree with....a herring!(Loud trumpets) -Gunpe
To answer Gaah's third question: The death of the historian. A real horse is visible for perhaps six frames. -chazz
He's not quite dead yet... -Gaah
Tarantulus: I don't mind you borrowing my line; but, Do quote it right! <g> It's "If we built this large wooden badger..." <THWAPP!!> -MadJack
Chapman - course he was drunk off his ass throught the filming of the movie but- always he original. -Harm
He's feeling better! -Enzedder
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39.
Advertisement at its very best!
http://www.ashtraymouth.com
Washington State's new anti-smoking website with a new twist on the old 'apewar' from the early days of the PC.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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co-worker POTD after looking at that site... after looking at that I need a smoke -NOFXfan
I just love thier in accurate figures, "1 in 5 deaths are smoking related" yet the reports they use state " 15% of 'smoking related deaths' can be directly link to smoking, 10% indirectly, 75% CAN NOT be link to smoking." -Wolfie0827
damn!!! I almost puked (tasted good the second time, too) -srteach
Now I know I am not going to spell this right, but that technique is called fascism. A technique widely used in anti-smoking. -RoadDemon
*Lights up* -Harm
about as reputable as the "STAND" organization... "Joe from Starfishville died from mouth cancer caused by smoking... and he never smoked a ciggarette in his life" Farking morons. -wolfprince
How on Earth is this supposed to convince people to stop smoking? Probably another case of a politician throwing advertising money at an inept friend. -Antacid
In the UK, they play fast & loose with the figures to do with road accidents...if you believed the propaganda virtually EVERY accident was speed related. This is total crap, inappropriate speed, failing to pay attention to your driving, & simply not braking in time has a lot more to do with it. -lineswine
Having watched a favorite aunt take three long years of chemo & radiation before dying of smoking (40 years smoking -> lung cancer -> brain cancer) cured any desire I might have had to take up the habit. Any time I see people lighting up I wish I could show them what my aunt looked like in her last weeks. An unrecognizable vegetable in constant pain. I went to see her two weeks before she died and there was nothing upstairs. She didn't know who I was, who her sister was, who my dad was. -Wolfshead
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40.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
From TheRegister
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news.asp?article_id=24561
Hitman is jailed for failing to kill the person who hired him.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Everything is legal as long as you don't get caught :) -Harm
he didn`t go the whole nine yards did he... -Jax
Upon reading the details, it makes sense. Of course he wasn't going to kill her. His sole intention was to take her for 20,000 pounds! He basically stole the money from her, and the judge found against him for that. He "decieved" her out of the money. A new twist on a con game. -Captain Trips
We were talking about this last night, Mrs. Chazz and I. Question: Would the lady go to jail for hiring (or rather, trying to hire) a contract killer? My thought: Even if she was sane, it's possible not, depending on how the law was worded... hiring someone to kill a third party may be illegal, but she is not a third party, she is the first party in this case, and therefore the law may not apply to her. -chazz
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41.
Glad THAT worked!
Performed a home network installation for an ex-boss.
First piece worked fine - Fit a wireless router between main computer and DSL.
Second piece gave just a bit of hassle - print server install needed HP printer management software de-installed first.
Third piece, I got over-confident. Turns out the second machine was running Win 98, not even SE.
Upgraded to Win ME, SUCCESSFULLY! Even preserved the Win 98 background on the desktop! I was impressed.
Wireless card install gave 64 percent signal strength. Adequate for a pentium II, it's not going to win any contests!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Wow. Never expected to read "Upgraded to Win ME, SUCCESSFULLY" here. -ChuckBiscuits
Naturally this was a situation where no CDs are to be found, critical applications exist on the machine and there is at least 45 miles between home and subject site. -TieDyedDinosaur
TDD, you need to get a cd case and put all of your <ahem> backup <ahem> copies of OS's and carry it. -beatmewithstick
And then take it with me even if what I am doing shouldn't have a gnat's whisker's chance of doing anything like an OS upgrade! -TieDyedDinosaur
shoulda just ran an ethernet cord, Cat5 is good for a couple of hundred feet before it begins to suck right?
-drachen
The Boy Scouts like to say "Always be prepared." I like to say "Never assume you won't need it." -linkv
drachen - checked on that first thing, no-go. -TieDyedDinosaur
Just had a phone call from the site, printing from the wireless connected printer is SLOOOOWWW, can you imagine? -TieDyedDinosaur
Cat5 is rated for up to 200 metres (or about 600 feet), but that can be used up very quickly inside a building. -Wraith556
But then you can just stick a hub between two segments! In this case it was aesthetics that ruled against the cable. -TieDyedDinosaur
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42.
It's Christmas, Yeah, Baby!
A friend for whom I did a bit of computer work (and who gave me an old 'outdated computer' is getting a new computer for Christmas, and 'wondered' if I wanted the 'old one'. As I remember it was a Pentium 4 1+ Ghz
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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... -FrontSideBus
Yeah baby! Sure, it's behind the curve... but 1+GHz with a decent video card? Yeah! -chazz
Can we turn it into a monster Linuxboxen mit Nmap? -clockkingfl
Dont get me wrong. I wasn't complaining it was more like wonderment that someone just gave that away -FrontSideBus
I turned my old 1.5ghz into a mythtv box. -klous
About six months ago I blew $15 at a yard sale on a P4 2GHz, a P3, a monitor and someother junk. After rebuilding the systems (because his son had worked on them), the P4 is now my music and video server for the MediaMVP http://www.hauppauge.com/html/mediamvp_datasheet.htm -LaserGuru
I remember getting a Celeron 900 a couple of years ago free... right now, I have a AMD 800 as my main machine. New year's is going to mean new parts for me, too... -namor
And a Happy New Year too! A friend of a friend just gave me three notebooks. 1) has a line down the middle of the screen, 1) doesn't have a power pack and the battery is almost gone and 1) had Windows XP put on it, is fouled up and he can't find the CD and doesn't want to pay someone for a new copy. Bummer, dude. Hey hon, remember that laptop that you wanted? It's here! -TieDyedDinosaur
A customer was waiting to load something where I work and I noticed that he had a computer in his trunk. I mentioned it and he said, "Yeah, I'm trying to get rid of it; I just got a new Dell." Deadpan I asked how much he wanted for it. The response: "Nothing." My answer: "My car's over there," as I popped the trunk with the remote entry key fob. I received a working 17" monitor and a PC w/ DVDROM, 20GB HDD, 1.8GHz Athlon 2200+, 256MB DDR, and built in NIC. I had to add a USB 2.0 card to make that work and have since added a SATA RAID controller, but the upshot is that I got about $800 of hardware for free! -PaseoGuy
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46.
Slow and disracted
Post Office, patron buying stamps, overmatched by 'modern' stamp vending machine:
SF: It won't give me my change! ,
TDD (standing in line, wanting to help): There is a message asking if you want another purchase, reply YES or NO.
SF: Where?
TDD: On the GREEN panel above the buttons.
SF: mumble mumble mumble, Oh, there it is!
repeat scenes of puzzlement for next required response /Receipt desired Yes or NO
repeat for next stamp.
There is a bright, scrolling RED display at the top of the machine that attracts them like moths, they buzz around until 'swatted'.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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I like using the self-service machines to buy one .37 stamp with a $20. That way I get a big handful of the new dollar coins and some of the older Susan B coins. I love the look on peoples faces when I use them to buy stuff. -Starfury
Get enough of those dollar coins and trust me, you will get tired of them, and or the fun will be gone. -RandalGraves
I'd like some of those dollar coins. Can you send me some? A couple of million would be O.K. -robbor
Up here in CanuckLand, we only have bills for $5 and up... all that coinage, including $2, really weighs ya down! -renaultguy
ah...good idea a computer that has flashing on the screen AOL Bonzi and other such SF attractors, attached to the mouse is the neutral cord to a 220v power system, and attached to the keyboard is the hot. the chair will be attached to ground. I call it the SF Zapper -drachen
dollar coins start to suck after you give away a few a quarters... -DedSysOp
renaultguy, same in Australia. You wonder where your money goes and you find you have over $20 in coins in your wallet. -Wraith556
Or the look on the McDonald's manager's face when the cashier asks if it is okay to accept this strange money. -concept14
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47.
Where all the mousies went.
From Straight Dope (Weird Earl's) is this site http://stuffonmycat.com that shows were all the mouseies went.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Awwwww..... -Veinor
I have to stop looking at all these kitties, it's almost got me convinced of getting another one but my apartment is too small -NOFXfan
Posted that in the breakroom a couple of weeks ago... -MadJack
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56.
Instant expert
From Clientcopia:
I own a custom software development shop.
In 2000, after I delivered a proposal to a client, they called a meeting to discuss some "concerns". At the meeting, they introduced me to Bob from Accounting.
"Bob from Accounting thinks your design is all wrong" they told me. Now, I'm an open-minded guy and am willing to entertain debate on the best way of doing things when the debate includes informed participants. So, I figured Bob must have a software background.
"No, I've never developed software."
I politely asked what Bob's qualifications and/or experience were with regard to software design, so as to see what kind of common ground we could proceed from.
"Well, I took a computer class in college"
A computer class. As in, one class. And mind you, Bob was in his late 50's. That means he graduated college in 1965.
I couldn't resist. I put on my most earnest tone and my best smile and said "What a coincidence, Bob! I took one accounting class in college.
How about you redesign my application and I audit your books?"
I still got the project.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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One computer class, just one i took far more i out rank you. You are the weekest link good bye! -Servo
ROTF. Nice. I wish I had a quick enough wit to think up that kind of thing. Ah well, I guess I'll just have to sit back and be satisfied with carefully planning the demise of my nemesis. -scooby111
I don't have that much imagination. I just cut and pasted from Clientcopia. You too can contribute other folks' interesting experience. -TieDyedDinosaur
TDD, even accountants can be software developers. You've never heard of Micro$oft FrontPage? <slips into LART shelter before he's noticed> -QuinTech
Oh that was nice. Very classy. Must remember that one...(my sister is a bean-counter who thinks she knows everything) -CommanderData
farkin classic!!! -omegawolf
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57.
Interesting License Plates
Dark Grey VW Rabbit - HSNFEFR
Ugly Green Honda - PHROGG
and on the License plate frame for a convertible -
SOMETIMES I DRIVE TOPLESS!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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My favourite will always be on the (proper) VW Beetle - FEATURE. -smellystudent
On a white VW Rabbit: IML8 IML8. -purplelinguist
On a breakdown truck: (****)TOW -flapjackboy
There's a bright yellow Beetle that I've seen with CHEEZCRD, and one in that weird greeny-yellow color GLOWBUG. -pixel
I've always wanted to get personal plates for my wife and I's vehicles that read (her's)GATEKPR and (Mine)KEYMSTR. -ewspy87
She'd never go for it though. -ewspy87
When I get my bike it will have personalized plates. -pixel
Someone in town here had a plate BITEME :p -Torinir
I read a story that some Hollywood type back in the 70's (for some reason I think it's Jim Abrams), used to drive a beat-up VW Beetle with the license plate 'BOBS MG'. When someone would comment, "That's not an MG", he would respond, "That's OK, I'm not Bob". -Answerboy
Here are some cute ones posted on Autoweek: http://forums.autoweek.com/thread.jspa?forumID=31&threadID=14630&tstart=0 -Alternatech
there's a bright yellow beetle(new model) with sun flowers everywhere in my town, the plate: happybug -drachen
ack....my own bad grammer, killing me.... -drachen
8nel8ly -atomicbill
LITIG8. Guy had to be a lawyer. WANKER. Yes, the guy was British and had the plate because he lost a bet with his brother. -sassicatz
BMW with Ontario plates "SPAMMER"
-Mysty
co-worker got a beetle in 2000 with plate y2k bug, another guy with a 2001 beetle has debug -Disallowed
L82DG8. It took me a month to figure it out. -halfstarfish
My our plates on a Toyota Hilux ute (Pickup for North Americans) reads "ATOYOTA". Reads forwards, backwards, and correctly in a mirror! -fargle
NONSRNS on a big ass old land yacht. took me a while to figure it out -GefahrMaus
We had one car for awhile which had hubby's vanity plates: Heavy. When we bought him a big, testosterone Bronco, the plates stayed on what's now my car. Imagine my delight at driving around with 'Heavy' on my license plates. He'll "eventually" get around to switching them with the DMV... -Avalon68
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59.
Auxiliary nerve plexus activated
Dinosaurs really did have enlarged spinal processes to help their big asses keep up with their little brains!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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Which one are you talking about ? Burrkiss ? murdermachine ? ;-) -Necros
Triceratops, Diplodicus, Apatasaurus. Check my profile for a picture. -TieDyedDinosaur
Welcome to the constellation! Looks like your auxilliary nerve plexus is in for quite a workout! *grin* -teivrann
They musta bought a humongous amount of stars for butts THAT big. -ecoli
Congrats on the Star! It's no wonder the dinosaurs went extinct, with butts that big! -Tekkie
Hey Fred, did you hear something squeek just as I sat down? When I get up, check my butt and see if I sat on something. Another damn mammal? Those stupid little things are everywhere! -TieDyedDinosaur
Dinosaur butt expanding, lungs fossilising ... must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from "Battlestar Galactica." Best ... death ... ever! <I dunno, just had that quote in my mind and had to use it somewhere> :) -Armakuni
Yeah, the "two brains" theory. Considering the speed of nerve impulses, and the size of many dinosaurs, it only makes sense. (Oh, and I'm waiting for VictorShen/EggWong to show up and say "nice tech post.") -Captain Trips
Don't get me started on my crackpot "Dinosaurs couldn't have existed with our current gravity" theory... -Shazzai
God put the fossils there to fu(k with the scientists. -VIPERsssss
And we 'fossils' enjoy it too! -TieDyedDinosaur
Congrats on the star and a big welcome to the Big Butts Club. -Rabbitt
I like big <prehistoric> butts and i cannot lie...damn those ringtone ads!!! Welcome to the enlarged gluteal brigade! -timelady
However, ALL quadruped animals have a nerve bundle back that way to co-ordinate front and back legs for locomotion (think sub-processor). This has been your useless fact for the day. -Cybersaurus
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60.
So that's why it's missing
From Clientcopia:
Me: "Okay, you know that little booklet that we sent with your router? Do you have that?"
Customer: "No, that looked like documentation so I threw it away."
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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hmmm, was that a geek talking? -ProfessorFrink
Nope, sounds like just another idiot. -flapjackboy
Documenation? We don't need no stinkin documenation!</bad Spanish accent> -Starfury
Fair to say the fucktard doesn't RTFM then... -lineswine
I don't RTFM either, but i'm also not dumb enuff to throw it away or phone TS if i can't make it work :) -Armakuni
Yea, that's what Google's for! (or the manufacturer's website, whatever). -Jeckler
Actually, I save all my documentation for when I get *really* bored. It's fun to see if there any features I've been missing since I can usually pick up on the major functionality on my own. Some things, though, really do require a good read through the manual before even starting something (like that new chainsaw I've been eyeballing at the hardware store...) -racermd
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61.
Starting out early
The grandkids were over yesterday. Twins. The boy disappears so I golooking for him. He's coming out of my computer room and there is a distict lack of fan noise. He shut my computer down. Fine, so after they leave I bring it back up, expecting 'computer not shut down correctly, we are going to fondle the hard drives for a while'. Nope, apparently he shut it down cleanly. He was 3 in Feb. But acording to his mom, he has been practicing on their computers. Way to go, kid!
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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What's funny is that I get people calling in that claim to be working around computers every day and have been for years now and when you ask them to restart the PC, all you hear is a click, a computer powering down, another click, and a computer powering up. 'Tard starfish... -murdermachine
Yep. My son is three, and I've got him trained. A quick click of shortcut on the desktop, and pc goes down nicely. -Bobsentme
I'm familiar with this as well. My godson can turn off WinXP properly but his father doesn't half the time. Fortunately, his mother once aspired to A+ and isn't such an SF. -suitepotato
Suite, sounds like that godson of yours is a Half-starfish, like me. Fortunately he takes after his father. :D *Cheers for dominant non starfish genes* -halfstarfish
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62.
Three ring circus?
While using SoftIce to trace some coding, it was hiarious to see the module name of one of the common DLL collections by mickey$oft - BOZOSLIVEHERE.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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"Hey, I think we're ALL bozos on this bus." -Captain Trips
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63.
And this was for my protection, apparent
Attempting to install older (Windows 95 version) software on Windows XP. Missing C:\Windows\System32\Autoexec.NT. Google says SP2 might remove it. Copy back from Windir\Repair, It works. Reboot, try to run the application upgrade. Same error. Reboot 'rolled-back' my system change. OK, which of several wonderful utilities is 'Helping' me this time. Same prob, same fix. Beer time.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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64.
Oh, that's right
Playing around with a system abandoned by a friend. Totally flaky, won't finish boot. CTRL-ALT-Del shows configuration programs are hanging. End them, hardware wizard won't finish. Fine, power off and back on. Won't even begin POST. Oh, right, he mentioned there may be a power supply problem. Sometimes the problems are so much more fun when we ignore the documentation.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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65.
Have they outsourced my BUILDING?
I leave a message for security, get a callback from someone that I swear sounds like they are in India. Not just the nearly incomprehensible accent, but bad phone connection and strange chitterings on the line. Yes, they actually work for the company and the number was in the same city, but might just have been New Delhi for all the difficulty communicating.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
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I so gonna get flamed for this but,.....I get really tired of people complaining about other people's accents. We (the english speaking population) butcher our own language so badly, how can people of another enthnicity and race possibly keep up? just think, they at least attempted to learn another language, when some people can't even speak one! (flame me now!) -CheaTah
<stands next to CheaTah with a fire extinguisher.> Yeah! What she said! -TechnoVampire
Personally, my beef about accents is simply this: My job requires me to help people, and due to a thick accent, I cannot understand them. That raises my frustration level across the board. -CyBear
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67.
How does that happen?
Worked on a Win 98 SE system for a friend of the wife's, got it working...better. She arrives to pick it up, brings the printer because she forgot to mention the printing problem. The problem is this junk at the end of the letter she was writing. The junk is actually at the end of the letter she was writing. It appeared to be windows logging something it was doing or maybe a keylogger. Deleted the junk and the letter printed OK. Crosslinked clusters?
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
Comment on Story
Comments
usually its from the spare stuff in the slack space. what probably happened is that one of the times she started her PC, scandisk found a problem with the file, and rounded the size up to try to make sure that she had no data loss. e.g 20 byte file becomes 512/4096 byte file (depending on cluster size) -madonnac
Probably. Explaining that 'it probably happened that way' to the EU was confusing her way more than just saying 'it happens sometimes, sort of like a memory popping into your mind'. -TieDyedDinosaur
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68.
Static Electricity my a$$
Trashed a motherboard by plugging in a sound card that happened to catch a couple of contacts and jam them together and short them out, naturally at least one was ground and the other could supply enough 'smoke' to melt the plastic connector. So when I return to the retailer to indicate my dissatisfaction with the robustness of the connectors, the clerkdroid opines that I must not have been grounded and static electricity did the damage.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
Comment on Story
Comments
Stick your foot up his ass. -MrThou
Seriously, not to defend the little wacko, but...I tend to short out things all the time. Headsets tend to die a horrible static death in my presence. -snowcrash
Quit trying to start your computer with a taser. -scooby111
Unfortunately I generate static all the time and zap my fingers often. I knew enough to static ground myself, actual wrist strap and all. But, Melted plastic RARELY occurs with static discharges. -TieDyedDinosaur
In 15 years of dealing with computer hardware without wearing a wrist-strap, I have never fried a component from static electricity. Maybe I'm just lucky. -RiffRaff
They say a visible static spark is at least in the 30,000 volt range. I've had some that had to be in the million-volt range when I was working the night shift at an apartment building. I'd walk up and down the hals once an hour and build up a hefty static charge, which I'd dissipate by touching the keyring to the breaker boxes every time I went by. I've had some sparks jump an inch and a half and make my whole arm twitch. Of course, the trick to making the dissipation painless is using metal that you're already touching to touch grounded metal such as the breaker boxes. I wonder what a million-volt static discharge would do, if anything, when run through a standard steel PC case? -OgdenTechGuy
In my former life, I worked as an electronic technician at HP. They had pictures taken with an electron microscope of a processor chip that had succumbed to ESD. Note below picture was: "Damage to IC chip by ESD; component was 2 feet away from ungrounded technician". HP proved that ESD damage can happen without even touching the component! -ledhed
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69.
Psychedic Monitor
Private support for a little network, receptionist calls with a problem, the Monitor is on acid. It is sort of swirled and off-colored. Luckily I had seen them do it when I was on-site, Made her take the electric Stapler off the monitor, turn it off and back on to DEGAUSS.
[By: TieDyedDinosaur]
Comment on Story
Comments
And I thought my cell phone was bad on monitors. -LaserGuru
I've got a user who was having monitor problems. I moved the ancient alarm clock off the top, explained it was an EM field from the clock & went on my way. Next day, monitor problems again, clock back on top of monitor. I asked if he remembered me moving it. "Yeah, but I want it up there." -Tekkie
fine. keep it up there but don't call me about your monitor. <click> -whyme
LOL, my cell phone eats my monitor and creates sounds in my speakers when i get a call. I have it on silent, and i hear it all through my speakers. yay -MrThou
LOL, my office is near a Naval Air Station (place where the F-18s land when they're not on a carrier) and my monitor buzzes and the picture wavers every 11 seconds when the base has their search radar on. -Fuji
I leave my cell phone on silent at work, and put it under the amp for my headset. When it rings, makes the line go staticy (sp) for the length of the ring. That's my queue to "check my resources," and put my Luser on hold to see who's calling. -Ticketman
Fuji: Then you could say "Beam me up Scotty" :D -Dr Jerkyl
I used to do monitor support. It was amazing how many people put electrical stuff by their monitors. Including the guy's who's desk was by the breaker box for a warehouse..and called in because his monitor flickered. -Starfury
Fuji's comment reminds me of when Toshiba America's main office was literally next dorr to a marine air base. They had a huge middle hallway that ran the length of the back building and at the end of it was the street. And right across the street was the radar dish for the base... -technaround
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
This is really a public service misconception: "Helpful hints to protect yourself from Swine Flu:" are actually "Helpful hints to protect others from getting Swine Flu from YOU once you have contracted it!"
[2009-05-04]
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2.
That spoolsv.exe is the same as spooler.exe Yes, they carefully substituted one in each command for the other in a mistaken attempt at removing a trojan.
[2008-02-04]
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3.
From Craigs-list - *NEW* NORTON ANTIVIRUS 2008 W/SPYWARE , truth in advertising!
[2008-01-04]
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4.
That their pr0n won't be 'harvested' by a tech to whom they send it for repair. From THEREG - http://www.channelregister.co.uk/2007/07/09/geek_squad_porn_sting/
[2007-07-09]
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5.
That I won't tell anybody about the dumb thing you did.
Complaint - printer won't print, sending to a different (networked) printer won't print.
Analysis - All six outputs were queued to the same printer, it shows 'offline'.
Tracing the USB connection from the printer ends in a Belkin switch box.
Fix - press the '1' on the switch box, the printer immediately begins printing.
[2006-03-20]
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6.
That the police will enforce CERTAIN customer 'right-of-return' policies.
From Theregister - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/21/drugs_complaint/
[2006-02-21]
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7.
That the reason I am able to charge $xx to install a wireless card and connect your computer to your wireless router is due to 'Secret training'. It's actually called practice, but in reality it's the result of making all the mistakes on someone else's computers first!
[2006-01-23]
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8.
That your 'old' computer is ready to throw out.
A neighbor that I was helping set up a USB wireless connection asked for suggestions where to take an old computer to recycle. I ended up taking home a 433 Celeron that had only an 8 gig HDD and 64 MB ram. But the DVD reader, CD rewriter and beautiful Presario case are certainly not 'old' by any means. A little luck on ebay, a newer drive, some leftover 128 MB sticks and Linux will scream!
[2005-11-15]
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9.
According to Cecil Adams (Straightdope):
'On the contrary, notwithstanding the blue-state-smart-red-state-dumb malarkey you sometimes hear, I'd say stupidity in our society is pretty uniformly spread around.'
[2005-10-28]
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10.
That a 'Primary Hard Drive Failure' error at IPL can be caused by a bad Comcrap Modem!
[2005-05-26]
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11.
That I can IMAGINE what you MIGHT have done that allowed the Trojan Dialer to infect your system. Sorry, if you can't remember the pr0n sites you clicked into, I won't even guess. Glad the Telco gave you your money back, now be just a little more careful there, chuckles.
[2005-04-19]
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12.
That backups happen by themselves, automatically, when the files are just the way they want them to be, even though they are changing them every hour or so.
[2004-01-23]
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Tech Rules
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1.
There is a point when more explanation severely detracts from the understanding of the problem. STOP just before that for maximum clarity. If you insist on continuing, take a periodic poll: Ask 'Is this becoming clearer or more confusing' frequently. Pay attention to the answer.
[2010-12-19]
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2.
Careful on those requirements for passwords. - An attempt to change a password on one company site results in 'original password invalid', even though it is the same one used to access the site in order to change it. Apparently the FORMAT of the password is no longer valid, due no doubt to a change in requirements to increase security. Unfortunately, this is being retroactively applied and the attempt to CHANGE the password fails.
[2009-10-05]
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3.
A packaging solution for a sensitive electronic item will be a paper towel in an envelope while massive padding and antistatic bag will be applied to a pair of rackmount 'ears'.
[2009-05-08]
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4.
BeastBy fail. My neighbor has a problem with his Gateway tablet PC, takes it to BeastBy. They somehow scrag the partition table, MBR error now on boot. The recovery disk is of course the backup taken soon after the LAST time it went to BeastBy, not a bootable one. With no access to the Recovery Partition, not a lot goes on. Cue wiffle-ball tournament between BeastBy and Gateway techs. See 'help me' in Message Board if you have partition information for a CX2620.
[2009-05-05]
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5.
The amount of abuse that you inflict on someone for giving you bad directions to a site causes a corresponding rise in the chance that it was YOU who misinterpreted the directions.
[2009-04-07]
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6.
That you might not be happy with how a tech responds to a DEMAND for a new mouse! - http://hackedgadgets.com/2007/04/28/computer-mouse-using-a-dead-mouse/
[2008-09-09]
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7.
If you are left detailed instructions how to perform a critical function for a co-worker who is going on vacation, there will be a) one missing item needed to complete the task, b) an environmental issue that delays the opportunity to complete the task and/or c) somebody else's screwup that makes the entire exercise impossible to conduct!
[2008-06-22]
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8.
Your age is fairly easily determined by which cartoon was the first one you remember watching. For me it was Crusader Rabbit. For those of you who never saw it, Utube has it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3hHQvkUhJo
[2008-04-21]
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9.
Working at home has certain benefits - One is Bailey's in my morning coffee!
[2008-04-16]
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10.
Three rules for sounding like an expert:
(1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
(2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out
when they can be ignored.
(3) Come up with three rules of your own.
[2007-11-15]
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11.
Identifying the one missing file that someone should have copied when restoring an application = you must know all about that application and can help them with it.
[2007-10-12]
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12.
Truth is stranger than fiction - Remember the old stories about sacrificing a small mammal to resolve SCSI interface issues? - From The Reg - http://www.theregister.com/2007/09/05/goat_sacrifice/
[2007-09-06]
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13.
Wouldn't you love to provide tech support for THIS? - http://www.theregister.com/2007/05/23/apple_sex_toy_spat/
[2007-05-24]
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14.
Be sure to hook up the intrusion-detection device. - From StraightDope - http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=421203 - If they don't survive, the lawsuit is easier to win.
[2007-05-21]
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15.
There's always a first time - 'Friend' is always popping up with Urban legends and downright idiotic claims. His dad sends him a note about a federal phone tax refund, I check and the dang thing is legit! http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=161506,00.html
[2006-12-06]
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16.
If you are calling to tell me something that I ordered is available, it would REALLY help if you spoke english in a manner that allowed me to at least GUESS more than the one word - available.
[2006-05-05]
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17.
It's dead, Jim. Let's harvest the organs then!.
Bought some parts from a dead laptop. For $1 more I got the 'cadaver'. Took it home and began dissection. First thing I noticed was the XP Home Edition sticker on the bottom. Then the CD in the broken drive. Finally the AMD Barton 2800 CPU chip. My wife got an upgrade from a Thunderbird 1.33, luckily I had a spare fan, her power supply fan had broken too!
[2006-03-27]
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18.
Too much caffeine again!
You know this has occurred when it seems like the caller is transmitting at 1200 baud and you are listening at Gigabit speeds.
There is this painfully slow buildup to the ONE critical item that they are probably going to A) Stutter over, B) Mispronounce or C) FREAKING SPELL TO YOU.
Then when you relay the answer, it's always 'You're going to fast, can you repeat that but slow it down?'
Yep, too much caffeine!
[2005-05-03]
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19.
Any tech that calls YOU back when you're out leaves a long rambling phone message and THEN a phone number that whips by in 1/4 second.
[2004-02-04]
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20.
The customer will never have their OS CD or they will not be able to find their CD Key, or the two will not work together.
[2004-01-20]
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Customer Types
1.
The one in a million
Is apologetic for having to ask you to stay late for a very important problem. Agrees to the overtime pay. Brings you a nice present the next day. Sings praises about you to your boss. (Present was a bottle of Remy Martin VSOP Champagne Cognac. Not a little bottle either!)
[2010-09-16]
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2.
Raris Avis - Aureus
Has reasonable expectations and clean working environment, is available when you appear and ... PAYS. Now, I do this part time, mostly for friends. This call was only a 50 mile round trip and almost trivial to fix. The check was for $200! Take heart, this type does in fact exist!
[2009-11-12]
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3.
Not quite up on the concept.
Moved a computer, they had also mentioned 'no sound'. The sound card was a five-speaker type, two cables plugged in, one to F, one to Mic. After rethreading all but the sound cables from the rat's nest, I started with one end. The other end (mic?) was seen to move as well. Sure enough it was the same cable. The one plugged into the speakers was just tied up in the rat's nest. Amazing how well the sound worked after connecting THAT one to the computer.
[2009-01-13]
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4.
Too impatient
Friend of a friend wants their computer fixed, but when told it would be a week, decides to let someone else work on it. Oops, now it has to go to a shop, looks like a FFR.
[2009-01-05]
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5.
Baffled but friendly
Calls and reports that their /modem/router/cat has stopped working, no power or other lights. When told it is probably the power supply (wall wart type) they ask how to order a replacement. So I just walked across the street with a new one. I'll pick up my own replacement they next time I am at goodwill.
[2008-10-17]
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6.
Too many cooks
Calls and says their laptop (with wireless) isn't working. When I go to look at it, I notice the wireless router is sitting on a shelf in the office but not where I left it and no lights are on. When asked, they had no idea how it had gotten unplugged and moved. Later it was learned that someone moving things around on the original shelf removed it to keep from 'hurting' it when vaccuuming.
[2008-10-17]
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7.
Extra-thorough
Reads every single char of instructions on a vendor's website in order to have you help them through an installation. EVERY SINGLE ONE, even when you tell them to skip that step, it has already been taken care of. Again, and again and AGAIN.
[2008-07-28]
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8.
Potential Foil-helmet types
From StraightDope thread - http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450877 - A passel of things to worry tin-foil helmet types. Contaminated Electricity!
[2008-01-11]
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9.
Prepared to be Fleeced.
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=46730&in_page_id=34
Japanese women buying lambs thinking they were poodles. OK, That's really getting Fleeced!
[2007-04-26]
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10.
Fat wallet, thin cranium
A friend recently moved from cable to Dish network for his TV. I then hooked up his VCR, DVD player and DVD recorder. While I was explaining the process he decided that he needed A) a picture, B) a step-by-step document and C) to treat me to lunch for doing the above items. OK!
[2007-02-20]
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11.
Darwin Award Candidates
From The Reg - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10/19/recycling_mishap/
Don't we wish all of the ID10Ts that would do this would do so where only THEY would be affected?
[2006-10-19]
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12.
Missing information
From The Register -- http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/04/24/portland_headcase/
Don't we wish more SF would at least TRY!
[2006-04-25]
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13.
Terminally non-technical.
This weekend I drove the on-laws and a friend of theirs over to our grand-kids 4th birthday party. Along the way this friend has a fight with her seat-belt.... and LOSES. She managed to get it so tight that she needed help to unlock it, then couldn't figure how to get enough slack to fasten it again. Even after the car was stopped.
[2006-02-27]
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14.
Flipped their 'lid'
Cust complains that CD I built for them doesn't work. Two different drives refuse to acknowledge there is a disc present. I suggest the CD is upside down.
"No, it has writing on the top"
When the disc is examined, the writing (which the Cust did) is on the bottom of the disc!
[2006-02-16]
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15.
Totally Clueless
From TheRegister:
US student tries to score dope at cop shophttp://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/14/drug_score_failure/
Did she use Google first?
[2006-02-15]
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16.
Criminaly clueless
From Theregister:
Arizona authorities this week charged suspected members of a criminal ring thought responsible for 10 per cent of all fake money in the state after some members sent a printer, jammed with counterfeit bills, out for repair.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/17/jammed_printer/
[2005-11-17]
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17.
Help me out here
Gets robbed after taking the cheapest PC to another office for remote access to the network I set up for him. Tells the Insurance that many thousands of dollars of computer equipment was stolen. Wants me to back him up by identifying the cheap PC as a new top of the line model with all the software he can think of. And he doesn't even offer me a cut!
[2004-01-23]
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18.
Unsuspecting relation to a perv
Man dies and wife needs some files from his computer for a flower club. I get volunteered to do the work. While I'm there she mentions that he did all sorts of art work and she wants to save them. So I go rummaging through the disk looking at ... PR0N of every disgusting type imaginable... and both I and the woman just ignore it...Nope, thats not there...Oh there's some flowers, petunia, posie, etc. Well they were Mostly pink... kind of embarassing. The files she wanted were already on CD! He had taken care of that before he 'left'.
[2004-01-23]
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Co-Worker Types
1.
Unclear on the concept of OR
There is always someone who returns a one word response - YES or NO to a multiple choice question. e.g. "Should I perform this action or wait for a decision from you."
[2010-09-07]
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2.
The two old farts.
Two old workers that take every opportunity to ridicule each other. To the point of adding a snide remark to each mention of the other's name. Makes you wonder if they were lovers at some point in the past.
[2010-07-09]
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3.
More guts than us!
http://notalwaysright.com/okay-that-was-a-little-mean/805
[2008-08-12]
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4.
Helpful!
(From Overheard Everywhere Else)
Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn't working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?
[2008-07-01]
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5.
Anyone over 20 years older than you.
The Grandpa Simpson - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/02/bofh_2008_episode_16/ - From The Reg. BOFH stories. Any resemblance to persons of ancient reptilian ancestry is purely intentional.
[2008-05-02]
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6.
Oops, damnit, I forgot.
Exchange of gifts yielded a card for a well known sandwhich shop AND a magnetic wristlet. Yep, they were wrapped together and now the gift card is unreadable. Anybody see a receipt?
[2007-12-28]
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7.
Mind like a Steel Trap
Supervisor: Did you answer my phone while I was gone?
Worker bee: It didn't ring.
Supervisor: Well, did John call for me?
Worker bee: He didn't call. Your phone didn't ring.
Supervisor: But did you answer a call from John?
Worker bee: No, when your phone didn't ring, I didn't
answer it, and when I didn't answer it, John wasn't the
one that didn't call.
From - Overheardintheoffice.om
[2007-05-02]
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8.
Keyboard Abuser
You can hear these through the cubicle walls as they slam their hands on the keyboards in rage. Repeatedly.
[2005-06-29]
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9.
Spineless Manager
A problem occurs with delays in processing. Fine, let's investigate.
Appears to be a simple 'too much happening at one critical time'.
Solution fairly easy and straightforward - disable test job scheduling during critical time period.
Present to manager for implementation, - OK, looks reasonable, run it by the other managers.
Anybody see where this goes?
Test and Development manager kiboshes it.
My manager doesn't want to override, apparently just wants to bitch because critical jobs STILL RUNNING LATE!
[2005-06-03]
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10.
Chicken-Sh!t
The type that leaves you a note (after you've left) detailing something that they find very annoying about you. Such as the smell of your lunch when you eat at your desk or the sound of your computer beeping, etc. Naturally you wonder why they haven't complained for the entire previous YEAR. What changed?
[2005-05-27]
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11.
Can you ask for an explanation?
This is usually a boss-type.
They get an e-mail OR VOICE MAIL from someone and don't understand something about the answer.
Rather than reply to that someone, they ask YOU to do it.
After a while it is so predictable it get funny, then it quickly gets aggravating.
[2005-04-20]
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Customer E-mails
1.
Subject: Unfortunate acronym choice
DED-PNIS is not a call for EXTENZE.
[2011-05-13]
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2.
Subject: Unfortunate choice of acronym
BONY-PNIS is not an ad for EXTENZE
[2011-05-13]
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3.
Subject: Unfortunate choice of acronym spelling
'ARSELOAD'. Not what it seems to imply. This was a DAEMON identification.
[2011-05-04]
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4.
Subject: Ewwwww!
'My computer has mental diarreha. There's shit popping up all over the screen!'
[2007-12-17]
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5.
Subject: Did Wallace hurt himself, again?
'from address' - uuaiaauayeeeyayi@arsenal.co.uk
[2006-06-21]
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6.
Subject: Outsourced gobbledy-gook
Sir/Madam,
Your current position has been appraised to the necessary committees, and upon vigilant consideration, we are able to give to you the consequent prospect.
Based upon vigilant consideration you make the grade to get hold of a openhanded revenue on your first property investment.
By completing the consequent attached form in a timely manner we will be able to finalize our assessment, and we feel positive you will get hold of not only a decreased rate of interest, but also a cash return that will implement all your holiday needs and more!
Apparently we can outsource the manufacturing of high-class spam, unfortunately, it sounds just like a come-on from the 'lads in lagos', well, except it's mixed case now!
[2005-11-23]
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EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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1.
"Such-and-such application is *clocking*."
[2009-07-27]
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2.
"MS doesn't play favorites". Okay, but ... ... while I'll agree that the Windows API does not reflect "intelligent design", it must be made clear that it does not reflect the basic tenet of natural selection, "survival of the fittest", either.
[2009-04-17]
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3.
Microsoft Windows is a virus with a user interface.
[2008-11-10]
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4.
Actually a Tech-Quote -- "Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows."
[2008-10-21]
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5.
Another Tech-Quote --- "Linux is user friendly. Its just picky about who its friends are."
[2008-10-21]
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6.
New sort - Misunderstood Customer Name of the Day - AMY Evans, HIS name was actually ARNIE Evans!
[2008-02-12]
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7.
From Firefly - "If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steaks."
[2007-12-19]
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8.
"Fire in the Hole" - reminds me of this from StraightDope - http://list.uvm.edu/cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0604a&L=safety&P=575
[2007-07-26]
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9.
Microsoft Malware Magnets - Perjorative from a Linux forum.
[2007-05-09]
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10.
'Like Neutering a cat using a butter-Knife!' Folks, we now have a new phrase for describing a call from an SF who can't type CMD one time in ten correctly.
[2007-02-09]
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11.
"That's a BUTTLOAD of disk!"
http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2007/01/05/hitachi_unveils_first_1tb_hdd/
[2007-01-05]
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12.
(actually mine) Chicken Scrap Sandwich - The type you make by trimming all of the bones. It needs lots of 'mayo' to keep it from trickling out when you hold it upright.
[2006-12-19]
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13.
'It's like turning a Segway into a riding lawn-mower', characterizing a proposal to turn a massive data analysis into an ad-hoc exploration tool.
[2006-12-01]
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14.
404 from a www.biblio.org link
Weers yon page geet to? T'int 'ere! -- English (Lancastrian dialect)
[2006-11-02]
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15.
"Hey, you're good at this, aren't you?". Said just before handing off a really WEIRD problem they didn't want to deal with. (Really a co-irker Phrase of the Day)
[2006-09-13]
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16.
FREE: (5) 3 MONTH OLD RATS :FREE NOT FOR FOOD!!!!! --- One has got to assume that this referes to snake or hawk owners.
[2006-06-08]
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17.
"She's just coming on the screen now!" - Guy was quite excited, for some reason. Just a video cable re-seat.
[2006-06-02]
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18.
Actually a co-irker phrase
I can't remember where I left my thing!
"Have you checked your pants" - (His wife works in the next aisle)
Oh, there it is! I just found the new battery...
Productivity went rapidly downhill after that!
[2006-04-26]
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19.
(From spam e-mail)
'Is your skills about to be obsolete?'
Maybe just the spelling skills!
[2005-09-19]
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20.
From online auction site:
Bunch of computer stuff check it out. Printer worked last time I used it. Probably just needs ink cartridges. CD drives not sure if they work or not. Keyboard has some emotional problems, it doesn't like to type.
Basically a garage sale!
[2005-06-02]
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21.
'I hate Computers'.
Usually said just before a long, rambling, semi-coherent description of some issue that might be as simple as 'you are too stupid to have a computer' to as complex as 'you can't expect a 16 MB movie to download on a poor 56K dial-up in two minutes!'.
[2005-05-05]
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22.
I want Xrays of a Wolf. This guy had called IT support at 23:00 and I wasn't gone yet so I answered. In a 'balkan country' accent he said he wanted XRAYS of a Wolf'. I told him this was IT support and not a Vet clinic, turned out he wanted EXTRAs of a WARF (some sort of Form). Wrong department, he needed Accounting.
[2004-01-23]
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23.
I don't know what I did, but now it doesn't work.
[2004-01-20]
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