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Here is all the content that chazz has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
Dirty computer
In case you didn't see it on Fark: Using a compressor to clean out a seriously dusty computer. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=847_1336801465
[By: chazz]
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I've had ones worse than that here where I work. I did the same thing. - Gunpe
On a scale of 1 to 10, I will give him a "B+". He forgot to blow out the floppy drive. -ecoli
I haven't had one that bad..but did take one of mine out to be dusted but I used the shop vac on "blow" (down Burrkiss) and the cloud of dust was impressive. So was the noise the fans made as they spun up. -Starfury
My sinuses exploded just looking at that dust level :( -virusjtg
Yeah, that machine was nowhere near the worst that I have seen. You could still distinguish what components were what.
Obviously the machine was in some sort of manufacturing environment. Here at %WePrintStuff% we have white dust everywhere from paper friction and cutting, and a strange multi colored dust by the litho presses from the dried UV ink. But you could still eat off of the floor. -Griffin2020
I've seen much worse. I used to work for a company that made wooden cabinets. The shop floor machines were unprotected and required periodic blowing out. It usually took half an inch of sawdust to make them quit working. -Loren
I've had worse. Iused to work in a warehouse, the machine had not been cleaned in a year, the operator was a chain smoker who would type cigarette in hand. He would often leave his coffee cup on top of the tower. so, a half an inch of warehouse dust( dust plus soot from diesel exhaust), ashes, and coffee stains. -McSmiley
Actually, yes; smokers are worse because cigarette smoke has tar that binds all the dust together and to the surfaces, so you can't even blow it out. One of my clients does a lot of Vietnamese-style cooking, which includes use of the deep fryer, and so there's a small amount of oil binding the dust in his computer as well. Very nasty. -chazz
Three words: Persian Long-hair.... Guy brought the machine in for the "free" cleaning. I took out a cat-hair rug from the bottom of the computer at least 1/2" thick and the same from under the faceplate. By the way, I hope that guy in the video realized that he just SANDBLASTED his motherboard. There's a reason why you should not use a high-powered air compressor. Some of that stuff looked like it was flying out of there at Mach 6. -unrenowned
Folks, I tell you that the worst system I had to clean out was a computer that sat on the factory floor at the Kaiser Aluminum facility in Gramercy, Louisiana... it came in literally caked inside and out with bauxite (that's aluminum oxide for those who don't know). We took it outside into a wide field and the compressor on a LONG extension cord and fired it up. The cloud of red floated in the air for an hour and was at least 10' across... [Why? We had a file we needed to recover for the company that was worth to them some $50 million.] -VoiceOfSanity
What's a floppy drive? -ravensentinel
The worst I have seen were the computers at a toner mfg plant. Black Keyboard, and I do mean black! Having to wear the paper bunny suit and respirator should have been a clue. -pathi
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2.
It happens to all of us...
I have the beginnings of unilateral bursitis ("mouse shoulder"), so I can't use a standard mouse for very long. Instead, I have trackballs, one at home, one at work, and very nice they are -- been using them for fifteen years or so. Kensington figured out how to make solid hardware...
Problem is, they stopped driver development years and years ago, and the drivers have recently started showing a fault: many installers, querying the mouse, send a NULL as part of the request, and the program fails with an access violation in KMW_DLL.DLL.
As long as it was only the Thunderbird and Firefox updaters doing it, I was OK with it; they didn't update terribly frequently, and always with warnings, so I could uninstall the mouse driver, stick a generic mouse onto the machine, and do the install that way... but my new phone's installer also chokes. As do several other things that I want to use. I suspect that the problem is actually deep inside Microsoft's MSI handler, and it shows in everything's installer because they're all using that handler. Microsoft being as unhelpful as they are, my only choice is to dump this perfectly functional hardware...
so...
...I want a...
[By: chazz]
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Meh - I'd keep the hardware and dump the o/s. *grin* -Grue
Just a stupid thought - I keep a mouse plugged in AS WELL as the serial track pad my client loves. -Divinar
Grue: AFAIK, even Linux has limited support for 15-year-old hardware, and trackballs may be even more limited than that. Divinar: it GPFs if the Kensington driver is loaded, even if the trackball is unplugged; a second mouse alongside doesn't help. -chazz
Sounds like you need that new air-operated pointing device that's not as dependent on the electrical signaling... Yes, "you want a Pneu-Mouse"! *ya'll excuse me while I run for my life. Is the LART shelter taking reservations? I hope I don't get stuck with the table near the kitchen door!* -Voz
Unilateral bursitis, better than multilateral burrkiss! -evolvedstarfish
What about a theremin mouse? -Wraith556
Is this http://www.logitech.com/en-us/mice-pointers/trackballs/devices/7365 not a viable alternative? -Stryker One
"With up to 18 months of use from a single AA, you might just forget your trackball uses batteries at all"... Riiiight -Grembo
I've found the best way to counter stupid is with stupid. Just hook the trackball up to an old computer, and use Synergy or VLC to control the computer you actually want to use. -rtfma
Stryker1: I've tried mice that shape, and while they are usable, I find that the smaller ball, with only the thumb to control it, doesn't give me the amount of control I like. Kensington is still making a full-size ball, likely I'll pick up a couple of those. rtfma: a possibility, but I've found remote control applications to be laggy, also reducing my mouse control. Granted, VNC is better than most that way... -chazz
Does the mouse driver "see" the Kensington trackball at all? I had an old Logitech trackball that would pretend to be a MS Intellimouse (This was under W2K) -Divinar
Divinar: Yes; without the driver, it appears as a standard two-button MS mouse... but the acceleration curve is off and the speed can't be cranked up high enough in XP. (It's better in Win7, but still not great.) -chazz
I like the Kensington Orbitals, and they're cheap enough to replace when the cat steals them. AND they're supported in modern operating systems. -pixel
How about this http://www.logitech.com/en-us/mice-pointers/trackballs/devices/189 instead then? -Stryker One
nice Stryker...graphics tablet/pen is another alternative for relief of mouse shoulder -stiffarm
StrykerOne: I'm currently pricing this http://ca.kensington.com/html/8966.html which is the latest version of what I was using until now. What you've suggested is reasonable, but might take some training; I've used it (my accountant's assistant has one) and find that it's still a different set of motions than I'm used to and I keep hitting buttons I don't mean to. I'm used to the Kensington, and if it's not too horribly expensive, I may stick with it... though the Wacom Bamboo also looks pretty nice. -chazz
Have you looked at the Logiteck Trackball? I use it and like it a lot. It is not a thumb ball, ball is on top and you use your index / middle finger. -Source
Hey, wanna new mouse? http://solutions.3m.com/wps/portal/3M/en_US/ergonomics/home/products/ergonomicmouse/ -atomicbill
Personalla I use a rollermouse pro.
http://www.contour-design.com/Default.aspx?ID=1260
It's a bit expensive, but wonderful to work with. Cow-orker sitting next to me, is the very happy user of a mousetrapper http://www.mousetrapper.com/ -Quark
I want one of these: http://www.orbitmicro.com/global/dt-tb--base--p-5157.html -unrenowned
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3.
RIP Martin Gardner
From Slashdot: http://science.slashdot.org/story/10/05/23/0030207/Science-Luminary-Martin-Gardner-Dead-at-95
For some of us, Gardner was our introduction to the marvelous world of mathematics and logic. He will be missed...
[By: chazz]
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Never heard of the guy, but after looking at his Wiki page, I'll have to start haunting the local library. RIP. -Grembo
Drove my kids nuts with one of the paper dragons that came out of a Gathering for Gardner. He'll be missed. -Grue
94 years old. "A good run." RIP, and I hope he's managed to puzzle his way through them pearly gates! -Captain Trips
Martin Gardner's books taught me that math is a tool and can be fun and interesting. I think more clearly because of him. Time to re-read the collections of his columns that I've amassed over the years. Thanks, MG. -SalParadise
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4.
One more stupid design...
and all too common... recess the power switch into the face of the machine so that it looks like a bit of fancy trim or a logo. I once got called out to a site 15 minutes away because the guy couldn't find the power switch on the front of a computer... little rectangle thing on the upper right corner.
[By: chazz]
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Worse yet, the reset button that's supposedly recessed, you can hit it with your thumb, even if you do have to work a bit at it. -AdmiralLaurie
Or the opposite extreme: power switch not recessed and right next to the CD or other ejectable media slots ... makes for a fun midnight call. -PCChaos
How about how HP has started to put the power button on the top of its desktop machines? I've turned off more than one customer's HP by leaning over it to plug in cables or do paperwork. -ras
At one job I had a computer that had the power and reset buttons as protruding arcs on the front . . . just at the height where my toe was if I crossed my legs. I can't remember how many times I accidentally reset my computer by hitting that button when I swiveled in my chair! -sassicatz
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5.
Dead Pool continued...
RIP Karl Malden. http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-karl-malden2-2009jul02,0,5658128.story
This seems to be a very unlucky couple of weeks for the celebrities...
[By: chazz]
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No kidding... glad I'm a nobody! -Voz
That makes 6, 2 sets of 3. So maybe things will be quiet for a while? -atomicbill
hmm youd think the anthopomorfic personoification and death of rats would have been getting bored. -Harm
Even by lesser celebrity standards, the pool's gone from squared to cubed, b/c starting w/ David Carradine & counting Mays the pitchman & Fred Travelena, Karl makes 7. Another two more before things even out. Not good, considering that all of them but Carradine have dropped in the last seven days. -MadJack
Oh wow! One I've actually heard of...(Billy who? Fred who?) -lineswine
A rather local celebrity died in the same timeframe, as well. Those of you who follow the PBS networks may have heard of John Calloway, from "Chicago Tonight with John Calloway". He's gone as well. -Grue
My name is Robert Neville. I am a survivor living in Hollywood. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the Brown Derby everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide photos, I can provide soudbites, I can provide paparazzi. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone. -Biosynthetic
^ +1 -ThinTheHerd
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6.
Hey, Virusjtg!
I never knew you went to MIT! http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/04/03/2148204&art_pos=1 (safe for work, Slashdot link)
[By: chazz]
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:-P -virusjtg
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7.
Wait... what?
"Special Thanks to chazz for becoming a Star Member Today!"
Whaaa?
I've been thinking about re-upping, but simply haven't had a chance with all the nonsense that's been going on... and now some benefactor has gone and done it for me.
To whoever it was... thank you... you really didn't have to. I only wish I did more to merit it.
[By: chazz]
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Dude, you are one of the first to share your expertise on the Help board. Whoever gave it to you made a great choice. -RiffRaff
Agreed ! -Spyder19
Wow, will you look at the size of that butt!!! -ManyHats
Thirded! Chazz, your expertise on the message boards is invaluable and your ability greatly respected. Unworthy my arse! ;-) -Gromit
What gromit said. -Olorin
Modesty will get you nowhere. ;) -Seamus
Seems to me like there's been a proper choice for recipient - qwitcherbitchin! *grin* -Grue
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8.
So Long, Circuit City
Story on Slashdot ( http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/01/16/195203 ) points to an article that says Circuit City has petitioned the court to allow it to close the doors on its remaining stores. The part I find most interesting is that they cite "bad management decisions", foremost among them the decision to selectively fire all their high-paid staff. I wish I could say "Suck it, executives", but you know they are walking away with their golden parachutes...
[By: chazz]
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If you're thinking of getting a "deal" at the store I'd bring a price list from Amazon/BestBuy/Costco. The liquidators will tend to raise prices to retail or HIGHER and then discount. I'm thinking the only stuff that'll be worth picking over is the movies. -Starfury
Thus eliminating even more electronics store competition. Before long, it's going to be Best Buy 'n' Large. -NightSteel
So. NS, you mean Best Buy and Worst Buy will be the same thing. -concept14
Concept: They already are. NS: And then we'll get Wall-E units packing up the detritus, yes? Oh, and a side-note: so far, this only applies to US stores, the Canadian Source stores ("by Circuit City") are still alive. Sort of. -chazz
There's one at the mall across the street from us. We sent an intern to go check it out. The store staff's last day is today. As has been said earlier, Yer dealing with liquidators now, whose only job is to raise as much capital as possible, not to make deals -Spyder19
Story forthcoming, check tomorrow's TSC page. -linkv
Whatever deals there were to be had probably came -- and went -- yesterday, before they'd dumped all the store managers and replaced them with the liquidator staffing. I had been wanting to pick up a new keyboard for a week (but hadn't yet, due to my lack of personal body insulation and sub-zero wind chills...) and when the weather finally improved enough to go yesterday, I got the $25 off list they'd been advertising it at, plus another 10% off on top of that... Wouldn't want to bet on doing that well today, tho, unless I had insider info that as this is an easily overlooked store in an outlet mall in the midwest and will be among the few where liquidators arrive relatively late... -lowlyte
Whatever deals there were to be had probably came -- and went -- yesterday, before they'd dumped all the store managers and replaced them with the liquidator staffing. I had been wanting to pick up a new keyboard for a week (but hadn't yet, due to my lack of personal body insulation and sub-zero wind chills...) and when the weather finally improved enough to go yesterday, I got the $25 off list they'd been advertising it at, plus another 10% off on top of that... Wouldn't want to bet on doing that well today, tho, unless I had insider info that as this is an easily overlooked store in an outlet mall in the midwest and will be among the few where liquidators arrive relatively late... -lowlyte
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10.
A Cautionary Tale
I'm still involved in this one, so I pass it on with the note that you should come back and see how it resolves.
As many tech geeks do, I tend to favour steam-powered tech. If it ain't broke, there's no point in fixing it, replacing it, or sending it to the landfill. Thus when my gadget, a Jornada 540 series, started suffering battery problems after only seven years, it seemed the appropriate thing to do was to order a replacement battery. Which I did. Laptops4Less had the part, instructions (which I didn't need), and even a teeny screwdriver. So I ordered one.
Problem the first: it wouldn't plug in. On inspection, it turned out that they had wired the plug backwards, so that my attempt to get the battery in the socket with the red wire to the right (where it was in the old battery) was doomed, as it meant inserting the plug upside down. Inserting the plug right side up would likely have resulted in a fire, so I checked polarity with my voltmeter, then with a dental pick and a microscope, I swapped the wires.
Problem the second: it doesn't fit. There's a structural plastic rib that hits a protrusion on the battery case, preventing the battery from sitting down in the battery compartment. This is a design issue: the replacement battery is designed to not fit the machine it has to fit into.
Now what? They are suggesting that because I corrected the polarity problem, possibly saving them from a liability suit, I have "modified" the battery pack and may not be able to return it... so I'm out forty bucks. Maybe I should buy a new pack, plug it in backwards, force it into the case, let it burn, and sue?
So the cautions are two: One, check polarity and fit before installing; and two, don't change anything, no matter how trivial, if there's a chance you'll need to return things.
[By: chazz]
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You're gonna need an old Engineer, a young Engineer, some duct tape, ... -TheGhost
Can you swap the polarity back without a trace of evidence it was ever "corrected"? -Stryker One
Yes. It's one of those plastic sockets with the insertable pins; I pulled and swapped the pins, they are undamaged. -chazz
Latest word: Laptops For Less says "f*** you, we're not taking it back." Well, not quite, but that's the general idea. TS tries to lay the blame on me for buying the wrong battery. Umm... nope. In fact, your picture on your web page is identical to the old battery. -chazz
1) perhaps the polarity problem is because it's not the right battery... 2) shouldn't have told them that you modified it! 3) if a model number is mentioned anywhere on their site, then surely they're responsible for making it work. 4) Can you remove the plastic rib :) -smellystudent
1) The web site says "540 series" among other things, it is most definitely a 540 series. Their web site identifies it as a L1798 but the Premium Power label on the battery identifies it as a F1798. It is possible that the L4L people confused the F1798 for the 520 with the L1798 for the 540, but they are explicitly stating that the L1798 on the web site is for the 540 series as well as the 520 series. 2) True dat. 3) It is, and they are refusing. 4) The plastic rib is unfortunately structural. I'm hoping that if this pans out to the bad, as it looks like it's going to, I may be able to change the projection on the battery; it seems more likely than cutting the rib on the gadget. -chazz
Actually... the web site identifies it as a F1798, so there is no confusion. It is simply not going to fit in this 540. -chazz
Actually, if nothing else, they seem to be trying to use Bizrate.com as a marketing, "see how good and honest we are", tool. Perhaps a "review" of your purchase experience is warranted? -Voz
*cough* sell it on Ebay *cough* -lineswine
http://cgi.ebay.com/1-8A-Battery-for-HP-Jornada-520-540-545-547-548-F1798_W0QQitemZ330178587741QQcmdZViewItem -Stryker One
StrykerOne: I am not going to buy a battery from HK without warranty, even for only $10, and particularly not since it seems to have the same bulge in the same place that would cause it to not fit in my 540. But thanks... sorta. -chazz
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11.
Pen test (literal)
Slartarama's story (here http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=70982 ) reminded me of a story about a penetration test I saw about six months ago. White-hat hackers, contracted to run a penetration test on a bank, got about a dozen cheap thumb drives, seeded them with a trojan, and scattered them around where the bank employees stood on their smoke breaks.
Of the dozen or so drives, care to guess how many went active? Only counting the ones that went live on bank machines?
Eight.
Gotta love that security.
[By: chazz]
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Very Mitnickesque. Now, technically, did they do anything illegal? What if they'd just made it send a sensitive file (e.g. password hashes) to a computer owned by the white hats? *hrm* Just from cutiosity ^^ -Mikoangelo
Cuuuute! -Seamus
http://www.darkreading.com/document.asp?doc_id=95556&WT.svl=column1_1 - the story in question. -NightSteel
You need to test penetration? You're not doing it right. Burrkiss might be able to help you. ;-) <hides in his Saturday retreat at the LART shelter> -TheGhost
Yep, I misremembered. 20 thumb drives, 15 of them found, all 15 activated. On bank machines. Even better security. -chazz
This is why, when I find a strange pen drive or cd, if curiosity gets the better of me, I A: reboot into linux with a limited account, or B: hold shift so windows doesn't autoplay
-linuxmatt
Linuxmatt, re option b. The story doesn't say that the trojan was set to autorun. Probably only had an intriguing name. The implication in the article is that all the users who had their machines... violated... chose to run the trojan app. -chazz
Someone was commenting on this at a bar on Friday, they said a guy they know is doing this too, apparently there is a bowling game that has a script that calls out(on this version) and they were picking up people's home PCs as well. -Slartarama
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12.
I thought Vista couldn't get stupider...
Click "Uninstall". Pop-up: "You need to have administrative rights to uninstall this program."
Right-click "Uninstall", select "Run as Administrator". Pop-up "Windows cannot find the file c:\Program Files\$company\$product\Uninstall.exe"
That farging well does it. Friends don't let friends install Vista. Therefore, anyone who has Vista on a machine I am expected to tech does not get the friends and family rate, even if they are friends and family. It is full ticket all the way baby, $75/hour or part, two-hour minimum, door to farging door. End of story.
[By: chazz]
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It seems that "Up like a Sun, down like a pancake" is most apropiate... -Dr Jerkyl
All the Suns I've administered have run Solaris or Linux... and just stay up. -SalParadise
Even my non-tech brother was smart enough to ask me to put XP on his new laptop. Apparently he took one look at vista, and said, "What crap!" -TekkieNerd
My recent experience with Vista (all twice of it) has been 'You need administrator access to do that, continue?' and it did it on clicking continue... yeah, very secure... -evolvedstarfish
My experience has been, "You need administrative rights to do that." "Windows is about to ask you if you wanted to do that." "Did you want to do that?" "Windows just asked you if you wanted to do that. Did you really want to do that?" "You must have administrative privileges to really want to do that." -smellystudent
<D.A.> Please understand that all that is to protect the user. So the user, even with admin rights, can't install or uninstall programs he shouldn't. The privilege of installing things is reserved to Mircro$oft and malware vendors. </sarcastic D.A.> -TheGhost
I guess my gripe is primarily that for no reason I can see, the drive mapping for the administrator account has gotten clobbered. If I could change the drive mapping for the administrator, I'd be OK, but to do that, I need to have administrative rights, and the program that I need to run to do that is not available in administrator mode because the drive mappings for the administrator are messed up... so Vista has put me into a catch-22 where I need to be administrator to change the things I need to change that would allow me to be an administrator. FFR time... -chazz
I've considered adding a special fee to my rates for Vista and ME systems. -RiffRaff
I think that Riff nailed it there, Vista is the new ME. We just need to wait for the new XP. If MS can stay alive long enough. -Slartarama
ME version 2, people calling it Windows XP Service Pack 3 were so wrong. -r3tude
<da...no, one of his evil spawn>The only downside to Vista I have found are the complainers. We have over 700 PC's running Vista and I have never had a network run so smooth. Yes, we are working on two(2) rights issues, but it runs better than XP. Less problems, less downtime. <da> -MoabTech
Ah, yes, Vista. The machine that chews 20% more machine power idling, and no company I know of is touching it. (Given the places I now work, this says something). -NightRain
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13.
Work of... fiction?
You may recall the story I posted that was written by a friend, one Dr. Bob: http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=45460 -- he has come up with a sequel.
Langdon held up the curiously carved cylinder of marble, its curved surface made up of individually-movable rings. Each ring bore an alphabet. He squared his shoulders, took off and polished his glasses, and rested his hand on a classroom lectern that Sophie had till then not realized was in the room.
"It's called a cryptex", he explained. "It was designed by the legendary Leonardo da Vinci - you remember, one of the early initiates of the Sign of the Sea Star. As well as the documents that the user wants to keep safe, it contains a cup of coffee. Attempts to open it without arranging the rings to reveal the correct password cause the coffee to be spilled, obliterating the document."
"So it is intended to protect important documents?" she breathed.
"That's one of its uses. It also stops people from drinking your coffee."
"How hard is it to open?"
"That depends upon who created it. Some cryptexes - cryptices - some of these gadgets, properly designed by initiates, are said to require at least ten thousand hours to open, by which time the coffee will be cold. However, some of those created by so-called "users" are somewhat easier. Let's see."
He spun the five rings. The letters G-U-E-S-T lined up, and the cylinder slid open.
[By: chazz]
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"You know, someone once theorized that an infinite number of monkeys, banging away on typewriters, would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare." "And my password?" "Ten monkeys, three seconds." -Seamus
"Ford, there's an infinite number of monkeys outside that want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out...." (obligatory) -MadJack
"Amazing, that is the same combination on my luggage!" /Spaceballs -computerdoc
And I just have to follow up Seamus' comment with the observation: "The Internet has now shown that this theory isn't true" -Darkstar2
DS2, not entirely true, with the monkeys you have randomlness in play, in the internet 99% is intentionally crap -McSmiley
APPLE!!! -Madrigorne
Do you get the feeling that a rule that a person should use a password that is the first ten, (i.e. random), characters typed by their assigned monkey would create a world of very secure passwords? Of course, the calls for *fish getting locked out of their systems for screwing up their passwords would shoot right through the roof! -Voz
"You know, someone once theorized that an infinite number of monkeys, banging away on typewriters, would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare." - Thanks to the internet, we now know this is not true -madonnac
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14.
US government WTF...
The lovely state of Illinois a while back passed a law that was supposed to regulate sales of violent video games. Problem was that the law was unconstitutional. No matter, defend that sucker! Lawyers' bills? About a megabuck. Haven't got that kind of money? Raid Welfare.
http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/05/29/1628258
I'd say I am glad I don't live in the States, but Canada is not much better...
[By: chazz]
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Hmmm...as I recall, before violent videogames, the world vented by going on expansionism campaigns of war...I imagine Napoleon would probably preferred to stay home, "pwning nubs" in Doom... :P -EtherRabbit
In the Age of Immaturity there existed few primitive humans who could discern between a symptom and a cause. </Douglas Adams-esque future history book which may have fallen though a temporal wormhole> -teivrann
Well, being one from Illinois, I can say that a bill like this is useless... There are people behind the counters in EBGames, GameStop, Best Buy, and all the other places that sell video games that just don't give a shit. Illegal to sell to a minor? Gimme the $50 for the game and it's yours. Most of these places strive for sales, not staying lawful. So yeah, pointless... But then again, welfare needs some reform too, but that's a different rant for a different time. -exzyle2k
I'm in agreement with you chazz. Two words: gun registry -ThinTheHerd
goodbye 2 billion dollars thank you registry that was already in effect BUT we needed to wast a couple billion.. arg.. least our TV ain't censored(much) after 10 PM. -Harm
One thing I like about Canada is the bill has to be reviewed by the Supreme Court BEFORE it goes into effect. Here in the states, we have to wait for the law to go into effect, and then file a suit to get the judicial branch to decide whether it complies with the constitution or not. And some idiot politicians have no compunctions about spending taxpayer money to defend a law that's obviously unconstitutional. "Mandatory prayer in schools? Sounds like a great idea! Screw the First Amendment!" -thx1138
THX1138, in Canada a bill doesn't have to be reviewed by the Supreme Court, just the Senate and the Governor-General. However the Governor-in-Council can REQUEST that the court review legislation before it has been passed. The court may or may not issue an opinion, and occasionally in the past has declined to do so. -Fuji
They keep trying such garbage here. The target is people passing out ads for prostitutes. Of course there is no constitutional way to target only them and so the courts keep smacking down every attempt. To make it worse the elected state judges go along, it's the first federal judge that sees it that smacks it down. -Loren
We grew up watching westerns (cowboys and Indians) and we don't go around shooting people. -BarmanVarn
BarmanVarn, yes, but that is beside the point... as is the fact that at least some studies show an actual drop in violent crime starting at about the time the first GTA hit the streets. Point is that the governor felt justified in taking money from the poor to fight for legislation that was unlawful. -chazz
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15.
Yes, I know you're tired of spam...
and so am I. But this isn't a topic, or Dissociated Press ramblings to spoof the spam filters. This is... just odd.
I use Spamcop as a way of figuring out and automatically reporting spambots and spammer sites to their ISPs. On the ones that actually manage to get through my spam filters, I manually send them to Spamcop, and as a result I get to see the ISPs. Why is this important? Well, one of the sites contained an embedded web address, and the hosting ISP for that site was...
sovintel.ru
Personally, I am more than slightly scared at the thought that spammers may have completely penetrated the Soviet war machine. If they can do it, I expect terrorists can as well...
[By: chazz]
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Don't feel bad for the war machine, instead, feel bad for their IT folks. Imagine what they have to go through to get rid of all that spam!! -unrenowned
Is there Intel on a vehicle called a "sov"? If it's a sub, it *may* be running Windows, ergo, making this statement plausible. :) -TheMacOne
All inquiries can be directed at poisoncontrol@polonium-210.co.ru -vacuumtubes
I googled it: http://news.spamcop.net/pipermail/spamcop-help/2004-July/062691.html says "> I don't think so. www.sovintel.ru redirects to www.sovintel.com whose
> English v. sez "Sovintel was founded in 1990 as a Soviet-American joint
> venture company and has shown to be the leading commercial provider of
> the fixed telecommunications services in Russia."
>
> Altho' sovintel sounds like Soviet Intelligence - it's just a telecom" -ManyHats
Soinds to me like a variation of the powergenitalia adress... -Dr Jerkyl
[Insert "In Soviet Russia" pun here] -TheGhost
In Soviet Russia, spam reports you! -thx1138
Hast du etwas Zeit für mich? Singe ich einen Lied für dich, von 99 Luftballoons.... -56Kdaytrader
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16.
Kevin and Kell...
Whoever put that up, I have to say, has caused me to waste a huge part of my spare time. And I'm only up to 2001. But I stumbled across this one, and thought it was worth posting, though not quite worth bumping the LotD (never mind that the LotD right now does me personally no good, as the coupon codes don't work in Canada)...
So, herewith: http://www.kevinandkell.com/2001/kk1111.html Common Internet Service Provider Infractions.
[By: chazz]
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I finished the archives on that a few weeks ago, but then again, I have a lot more free time to spend going through them all for hours upon hours on end. And yeah, thats really cute :D -evolvedstarfish
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17.
Other side of the phones
Sometimes the starfish is on the <company> end of the phone...
I have a <company> laptop that refuses to start up; for the first five minutes after you turn it on, it drops to a blue screen. I have run memtest86 on it off a CD; for the first five minutes, memtest86 shows error at bits 004000040, but then it's fine. Pretty cut and dried... at least you'd think so.
I just spent twenty minutes trying to convince a tech at <company> that running the software restore won't have any effect on it. I specifically told him that errors would turn up when I was running memtest86 entirely off the CD, without ever touching the hard drive, so I didn't think the software could be at fault, but he still insists on a software reload before he can start the work order to get it returned and repaired.
The worst part is that I actually had him convinced at one point, but then he went away to make up the work order, and when he came back it was the same old "recovery disks" mantra again. So not only a starfish, but a starfish super.
sigh...Off to find the recovery disks, heigh-ho.
[By: chazz]
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He's probably constrained by stupid policies at <company> that prevents any RMAs without a restore, or something equally moronic. -OgdenTechGuy
gah sounds like one of the newbs here - At the point i would kick the newb to book it. Script or None, its a fault. BOOK IT -TechKittenNotts
That's not a tech, it's a starfish with a script. -Divinar
Was it Dale? -FixitWench
Actually, no, <company> is not Dale, and neither was starfish. I missed starfish's name, he sort of mumbled it. He did sound more flexible than a guy with a script, but his typing speed was very slow, and it sounded like he'd never seen a BSOD, I had to describe it to him. -chazz
Even if he didn't have a script with most companies you can't get a rma until specific steps are completed and doom on the tech that didn't use a gfi outlet when troubleshooting power issues!! -adarklite
I'm with adarklite on this one; sure, it's fishy in nature. The tech on the other end probably agrees with that too, and believes it to be memory as well. However, he has superiors to please; it could fall back on him if he gives you an RMA without fulfilling the "script". The bench techs who receive the laptop could then look at the call notes, send the laptop back and have you call in for "troubleshooting." The phone tech then gets in trouble, and you get the shaft. Sometimes, its just better to go with their script flow. Usually, it'll get you to the end you want. -RamenMcTavish
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18.
More tech than comedy
Who'd have thought this?
Office's main switch -- small office, only a 16-port switch -- smoked. That's the third Kingston switch that has had problems in that office. Oh, well. So I went out and bought a new one, plugged it in and all was happy. Except: There are four subsidiary 8-port switches scattered around, and they all of them refused to connect to the new central switch.
I could not figure out why not... except that on one of the subsidiaries, the link light for the connection to the main switch was going like a metronome. Regular as clockwork, about one flash per second. For our system, that is so not normal. And the matching connection on the main switch showed dark.
So it was time to guess. What I guessed was: both switches were autosensing. Both of them started up as MDI (switch/hub polarity), found nothing, switched to MDI-X (computer polarity), found nothing again, switched back, and onwards forever. To test this, what I did was liberate an old 10BT non-autosensing hub, and plug all four subsidiary switches into it, and it into the new switch. And it worked... both sets of switches detected that they needed to be MDI, and it all flew from there.
okay, walked... but that's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
Eventually I came up with a slightly more elegant fix: crossover cables. Or rather, inline crossover adapters. Both sides start up as MDI, the crossover makes them see each other as MDI-X (that they are not), and they talk.
In the long run, I'm hoping for a more elegant system... something with a pair of switches talking 1GB or 10GB, and no subsidiary switches at all. But that's going to depend on the ongoing financial health of the company.
[By: chazz]
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I've noticed that new switches no longer have the cross-over port and are supposed to auto-detect the connection. Personally, I prefer the separate or switch-selected cross-over port. Hardware always over-rides software! -Wraith556
IIRC, some of the managed switches can be locked to MDI or MDI-X per port. Seems like the old HP ProCurve could be set that way. And if so, that's one way to get around the problem. -ralphp1024
He he he...this is why I stick with the Cisco stuff. -EtherRabbit
But doesn't Cisco now own D-Link? Or is it Linksys? Doesn't matter... the subsidiary switches are D-Link and SMC, and the new main switch is Linksys. So I'm guessing that they all use the same consumer-grade switch-fabric chips... -chazz
It's all owned by Pepsi Cola Co. :-D -ThinTheHerd
Cisco now owns Linksys.. which has become their consumer brand. -wolfman
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19.
RiffRaff, your customers...
are just amazing. Really. http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2006612310322 -- I mean... well, let me put it this way. If this is the caliber of your usual customer, I can understand a lot of your and VT's frustrations...
[By: chazz]
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Some people just do not deserve children. -Divinar
(I'm gonna hug my little monkey extra hard tonight!) -Divinar
I'm still trying to figure out how he wound up on the road. Most of 465 is heavily fenced. I guess if there's a will.... -vacuumtubes
VT, if it is one thing I learned quickly as a parent, you NEVER underestimate the intelligence of your toddler!!! -TheSingingTech
According to the story, he was seen climbing the fence by one motorist... -chazz
I think I'll be hugging my lil' diva a little tonight as well -TechnoTherapist
jesus fucking christ... i can't even hug my little guy, he's up with his grandparents until saturday. -illiterate
I'm investing in one of those little toddler retractable leashes now... OH... and a cattle prod for the mother! -TechnoTherapist
={ I can't believe how cavalier the mother was about the whole thing. "Oh, he got out again." wtf??? -mousie
You all =DON'T= want to know what I'm thinking right now..... Suffice it to say she would be... 'unfortunate'... to ever meet me. -ShujinTribble
These are not only our customers, they are the people my ISP deliberately targets for residential dial-up business. If we were a used car lot, we'd be of the "buy here, pay here" variety. -RiffRaff
These are not only our customers, they are the people my ISP deliberately targets for residential dial-up business. If we were a used car lot, we'd be of the "buy here, pay here" variety. -RiffRaff
Hooray for the double post! -TechnoTherapist
Hooray for the double post! -TechnoTherapist
SON OF A B!!!! <sorry to use HARSH letters> I swear that was not done on purpose! -TechnoTherapist
if your child is able to unlock the door use the damn chain. (never seen an apartment door without a chain. also never seen a three year old tall enough to uncain a door) -drachen
or you can stick a butter knife in the trim, way up high, if all else fails. She obviously didn't care. *whistle* outta the pool! -ThinTheHerd
Story says that she usually used a box to block the door, but that she doesn't recall whether she did that or not when she went to sleep the night before. I don't want to cast aspersions, but I can't help reading "went to sleep" as "passed out". -chazz
Obviously she was outwitted by a toddler (what does THAT say about your customers)? Even as a good smart parent you can get outwitted, but still.. ???? WTH was that? -Mysty
My ex wife let something similar but not nearly as bad happen to my daughter while I was at work. Yeah. That's why she's my ex now. I wanna go hug my kids now . . . -DarthLuke
*Blink* *blink* "Oh, he got out again!?!?" 2 counts of neglect is all they could get her for? *grumble* -DatabaseMonkey
I lived in government-sponsored housing for a year some time ago... the kids in the lot facing ours were probably no more than 5, yet would bust out the screen and scale down the apartment (1 floor up only) and then run around the street. The mother did nothing but yell at them. Yeah, they'd learned that she never followed it up, so they were pretty much free. -namor
From the pictures of her arrest, she looks like the total strung out redneck tweaker. Probably crashed after a binge. They ought to let her loose on the highway with full diaper and blindfold. No trucker would EVER think of stopping. -MacDaddy
Even better than a chain, it would have cost her just a few bucks to get a double cylinder deadbolt. No key, no exit -Grembo
Wow. Just...wow. For less than a buck, this meth-head could have bought a little metal loop and a hook, considering she admitted it wasn't the first time he got out. Methinks the boy has some good instincts, actually. "Hmm. Mom's a twit, there's s*** on the walls. I need to get out, but it has to stick. I'll run around on the interstate. That'll do it." I'd like to see where the boy is in 15 years. -JTSBrown
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20.
Taking my lumps again...
Computer Stupidities updated a couple of days back. http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/ - SFW, and not terribly funny, though a couple of the stories are worth a smile anyway.
I don't think I'm allowed back in the LART shelter yet, am I?
[By: chazz]
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If you go around the side, move the dumpster aside, you will see the 'sub-lart shelter tunnel' entrance. While it isn't as roomy (or bright) as the shelter, it is almost as safe. p.s. watch out for rats, scorpions and the occasional fer-de-lance! -TieDyedDinosaur
You have entered a dark passageway. It is dark. You will likely be eaten by a Grue. (?) -ShujinTribble
And don't forget that my loyal minions like to lurk in the rafters. -TechnoVampire
You have come to a crossroad. To your left you can see far, far away the LART-shelter, and to your right you see a dark tunnelleading downwards. Which way shalt thou take? -Dr Jerkyl
... given the alternatives, I think I'm probably better off just standing out here in the open and taking my LARTing like a man. -chazz
xyzzy -Captain Trips
Just watch out for snakes in the sub-lart shelter. *Hands chazz a wicker cage with a bird inside it* -LinuXtreme
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21.
Haiku (for Falling)
Falling says: Japanese Haiku
I'm half japanese and work for a japanese owned company and thought this was pretty funny.
THE JAPANESE ARE SO POLITE AND POETIC
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku Poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 Syllables - 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the Third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity.
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The Web site you seek
Cannot be located,
but Countless more exist.
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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Program aborting.
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask for too much.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
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I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue.
Chazz here: He left out my personal favorite.
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You step into the river
But the water has moved on.
404 page not found.
-------------
I think this was actually the result of a competition for haiku error messages; these messages don't actually appear on any Japanese PC, though I am tempted to put that last one up on a web site for which I am admin.
[By: chazz]
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Thank you for falling... much better. Which one would you put? I've got to get a better 404 for mine, that last one of the originals is appealing.. -namor
I'd go with the first, with a slight change: "The web page you seek/Cannot now be located/but countless more exist." For that matter, the last one is not a true haiku -- too many syllables in the first and last lines, but that could be corrected. "You step into the stream/But the water has moved on/404 not found." How about "Some things we may know;/some things are beyond knowledge./403 Denied" ? -chazz
The winter's shadow / Blurs the many names of snow / These are senryu. -Geminii
Geminii: yes, yes they are. And so? -chazz
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22.
From another site...
Courtesy of "pimwee" at Clientcopia http://www.clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=4554 :
Fact: Boston Computer Museum sells chocolate bars shaped like floppy disks.
Fact: Three year old kids see daddy boot his computer using a floppy to play games.
Fact: Computers are warm inside...even some quite expensive computers.
I don't want to talk about it.
[By: chazz]
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It's a repeat - it is from the rinkworks site... -Wonko The Sane
The story is on this page http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_abuse.shtml
I wish people would not steal stories... -Wonko The Sane
Damn. I didn't see that it was a repost of a repost. Makes me feel pretty stupid. Oh, well... should I take it down? -chazz
Nah, it's still a classic. -Captain Trips
No, I'm complaining about 'Pimwee' - both stories posted are from Rinkworks.... - the other is about Y2K drains... -Wonko The Sane
Boston Computer Museum closed years ago (I work across the street from its former location) -redpaulhus
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23.
I'm asking for it...
Okay, guys. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. But Tech Tales has updated ( http://www.techtales.com ), and I figured I should let you all know that... pretty thin this time, and three coffee-cup holder stories (one signed "Momo" -- is that our momo taking the piss?), but the last May story is interesting, and has pictures.
[By: chazz]
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As punishment for reading such stuff, you are banned from ALL LART shelters for a month... ;) -Wonko The Sane
*LARTs chaz soundly* -virusjtg
your penence is 3 Hail BOHFs and a sacrifice to The Gord. -Harm
WTF... the pictures on that last one are astounding! -Tarantulus
*WHACK WHACK WHACK* -CommanderData
<grin>Oh how the mighty have fallen... So many of us looked up to Chazz before we found out about his infidelity to TSC ,but Chazz there is help for your tech-tales addiction...And it can be found in the TSC chat on IRC.. We'll be waiting there to help....<paws in mouth, rolling away giggling> -wolfprince
You know what it is? You guys just don't post enough on the main board, and so I have to go elsewhere to get a fix. And a mightly low-grade fix it is... but apart from here, it's all tehre is. And I just figure that maybe there are other guys in the same boat. But as for LART shelters -- I didn't run in the main message, I won't run now. I count it an honour to be LARTed by CD and Virusjtg. -chazz
Usually when you admit your infidelities, it's with that tramp Rinkworks... but she hasn't put out since March. Thanks for sharing, and I am LMAO at the spotwelded CPU.
-Mushroom
Actually Techtales hasn't put out since March either -- curiously enough, they both updated last on 3/3/06 -- so there are three months of cupholder stories to read there. But the welded Celeron, May's last story, is well worth the read... -chazz
Just reading that now, jaw agape. I've got a spare celeron 600.. I wonder if I should... -namor
As punishment you must wear from techtales: http://www.cafepress.com/techtales.15295841 -STJ
So, is there a new chip called the Chernobyleron? -vacuumtubes
I am surprised someone doesn't build a coffe cup holder CD-rom drive. I know think geek has something like that but. An old CD-ROM, some metal reinforcers to take the weight and keep the eject mech working. -fearmyroot
I seem to recall our CD has done that... keeps her tea cup on it, just to make tech support people swallow their gum... -chazz
The MCSA trying to describe multiplexing to the COX guy was kinda funny, but he never once used the word multiplexing almost like he didn't know what he wanted was called. If you can't tell someone what it is your wanting to do is called and you can't explain it to them in a clear manner who's fault is it they don't know what your talking about?
-klous
I have to argue that one, klous: yes, he never used the word, but OTOH the CSdroid was so thick that he would not have understood if the word had come by him... though at least one modem manufacturer called that a "shotgun" connection. On the gripping hand, though, if you think about how a DOCSIS system works, you'll see that once you have your modem set to the highest available priority, multiplexing won't get you any additional bandwidth unless you pull a second line from a separate head-end... seems to be plenty of stupidity to go around, IMHO. -chazz
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24.
Now *this* I can handle...
Not wanting to bump the link, I'm posting this as a story...
It seems that IT certs are now becoming a hindrance in getting hired. Slashdot link: http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/05/01/1928228
It seems that IT managers are finally beginning to understand what we have known all along: them as can, does; them as can't, gets paper certs.
[By: chazz]
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There isn't any real substitute for having experience doing what the job calls for. -TieDyedDinosaur
Interestingly, I'd posted this in the breakroom this morning: http://tinyurl.com/zwpn8 -Tekkie
I have said this for years! When I was in school for my certifications I had several classmates that could pass the tests but didn't have a clue when it came to the practical applications. It would really piss me off in class because they would ask the most unrelated, stupid questions and slow the whole class down. -Gunpe
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25.
Opening myself up for abuse again...
But I wouldn't do this if it weren't for the contrast, eh?
Computer Stupidities http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/ has had one of its infrequent and sparse updates. There are only a few new ones there, as usual, and they are a little weak, also as usual... but if you are tired of hitting Refresh on this page, you can visit them...
and be thankful that we have a real tech site, so we don't have to depend on the likes of them.
[By: chazz]
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Ahh Chazz, I think you LIKE abuse! So which do you prefer? Physical, Mental, or Sexual? I'm offering a Holiday Special, two for the price of one! Just dial 1-800-946-3853. That's 1-800-9IMFUKD. -CyBear
Yeah, I must like abuse... I write device drivers for Microsoft Windows. No need to add any more abuse, I've already got more than any mere bear can hand out. -chazz
ewww, dude, that site is like the SF version of TSC!!! WTF?!?! -Tarantulus
Apparently it's a TRAINING site for SF! They can't think weird enough things on their own, now they get coached! -TieDyedDinosaur
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26.
CD Please Check In
Tank farm explosion in Buncefield, Hempstead, supplying fuel for Luton airfield. Apparently there are casualties.
CD, I seem to recall you and Fuzzy are in that area. Let us know you're OK...
[By: chazz]
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No worries Chazz - Chez CD is in Swindon, different part of the country. There are reports of injuries, but no known fatalities yet. Any techs in the St. Albans area please check in. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4517962.stm -Gromit
checking in. Thanks for the link, I heard the explosion this morning, it shook the windows but no local damage. -Watfordian
Anybody seen my zippo? -lineswine
Shook my windows too, at 10 miles away. -oldster
I'm fifty miles away. You can see the smoke from here, darkening the sky. -pmillipede
sorry - damned good curry.
-Harm
can see the smoke from here (58 miles away, we are on a high point) I used to live in London Colney, just a couple of miles from St Albans, have checked in with all my Family down there, all ok thank god -Jax
My concern is that Dead Database Towers is actually a transport company, IIRC, and so our CD could well have been in that area. I note she hasn't checked in yet... I hope it's because she's heavily tied up with damage control, rather than because she's been damaged... -chazz
Fuzzy may have her tied up as well :) -Harm
Heard a report on NPR that windows were blown out at least a mile away.... Just... DAMN! -ShujinTribble
Gromit, just because your warehouse got burnt down, you can't set fire to other things - Bad Dog! -Wonko The Sane
Ship to Shore, CD can you hear me? -Warrick
T'weren't me guv - however, I note Armakuni hasn't commented yet... -Gromit
Armakuni commented on our ogame forum this evening, so other than the foul mood from the game, he seems peachy. -evolvedstarfish
Oh, Army isnt even in the UK. I forgot he's on a trip: "i spent longer in NYC than i thought" -evolvedstarfish
we're about 40 miles away from Hemel - my mother-in-law says she heard the explosion (I was asleep) and the sky was black all day. I think CD'll be fine - shes about 80 miles from Hemel, and I don't think trains were particularly affected -Shaede
hang on? how do we know CD was not the *cause* of the explosion? <EG> we all know CD has some *explosive* wind days -Jax
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27.
chazz vs. spyware
This one is not funny, but it made me feel good, so I figured I should share it... besides, it might help someone in a similar situation. <grin>
So I got this Win98 box from a client. She was complaining of popups and crashes and slowness. "Ah," said I to myself, "a simple antivirus and spyware mission. Piece of cake." Bzzzt! Wrong!
It started off easy enough. I had earlier installed AdAware and Spybot on there, so I updated and ran those. Oh, interesting -- Ad-Aware says it wants to run at startup, yet at reboot it doesn't run? Very curious. Something blue-screens at startup? Interesting. What's this: CoolWebSearch? Oh, bloody hell.
Windows spyware removal tool? Okay, off to MS to download it. Oh joy -- it doesn't work on 98. Only on 2000, XP, and 2003. Thank you MS.
In the process list there's something called "RunDLL32" that AdAware and Spybot don't recognize. Okay, kill it. Hmm, that's interesting. It comes back. All right, reboot. Hmm, very interesting. There's Windows saying that it's copying setup files. Very interesting.
Reboot to DOS mode. Now, I know that I didn't do anything that would make Windows want to do the setup thing, so what did? I have to guess the spyware. So let's look in wininit.ini.
[Rename]
NUL=c:\windows\system\ddd09.dll
Which says delete the file ddd09.dll. Now, if it was going to do that, the only reason why is that it had already triggered the malware. So ddd09.dll is a startup program that triggers the malware to rootkit itself. Whereupon the malware makes a new copy of this DLL, whatever it is, and somehow sets it up to run before the wininit.exe that deletes it at the next reboot.
So off to find this mysterious ddd09.dll. And there it is, marked system, read-only, and hidden... so I have to unmark it before I can delete it. Poof, it's gone.
But wait, there's more... there must be the file that created it, and that it triggered. So back to my handy DOS commands:
dir /ah *.*
dir /as *.*
dir /ar /p *.*
Oh, look! Six little DLL files, all with random names, all marked hidden and system? Let's get rid of them, too... and all references to them in the registry!
So far, so good... the machine has been running now for two days with no popups and no crashes. Time to send it back, methinks -- with Firefox as the main browser. Happy happy joy joy...
[By: chazz]
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Feels good to put the smackdown on spyware like that, dunnit? <grin> -CTYankee
Oh, where were you last week?! Sounds like my suspected rootkit question I posted in the forums. My system went tits up before I could get very far into troubleshooting it like you did, and I had to do a recovery. Good job! Congrats! -CyBear
"Reboot to DOS mode" *sigh* I miss that. 90% of what's wrong with XP is the lack of that feature. I know there are alternatives (linux boot CD seems the most popular), but I think that any decent OS should allow you to boot to a command prompt without loading the GUI and crap. -Antacid
I should have done this when I was working on the nasty PC a few weeks ago. I'm saving this post, chazz! -Tekkie
Antacid - Check "Safe Mode Command Prompt Only" on XP. Unfortunately, there ARE files that are still blocked, since Windows is still running (in 9X, DOS was, not Windows ... ) But it's pretty close for a lot of things. Useful for fixing bad IE installs B) -ralphp1024
Antacid: I second RalPHP's remark with the following note: Pop it in the F8 key a few times as it starts up to get that menu. -chazz
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29.
At the risk of being soundly berated...
I will mention that Computer Stupidities http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/ has been updated. Not worth bumping the hot link, although there are a couple that raised faint smiles...
[By: chazz]
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: HEATHEN! (proper spelling not included.) -Bobsentme
Computer Stupidities isn't so bad - at least they have some sort of editorial control so the same old stories don't get posted again and again - unlike techtales... -Shaede
and, speaking of techtales, they seem to have been updated as well -Shaede
Computer Stupidities is the first site I discovered on the subject years ago... (mid to late 90s) it's what eventually got me here, I wish I had joined earlier instead of just reading the mainpage for 2 years though, don't you hate it now, because of it you got me -NOFXfan
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30.
Computer Stupidities updated...
Yeah, I know, I'm sick for even visiting these places. But all the same... Computer Stupidities has finally updated again. About a dozen new stories, none of them worth bumping the link of the day for. http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
[By: chazz]
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HEATHAN! -Bobsentme
and none fresh enough to look at -srteach
Is Heathan related to Nathan? </me runs, laughing madly, to the LART shelter> -Veinor
If Nathan is realated to Heathen, color me a sinner :) -Xultan
Is that site run by a starfish? He doesn't know how to remove the old "new" tags! -Loren
Or update more than 3 times a year. -Mushroom
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31.
My latest starfish moment...
Yep, even I can pull a starfish once in a while. Yesterday, I set up a computer at my son's school. Plug it in, fire it up, "Disk error or no system -- insert system disk." So I figure the hard drive is frozen, I'll have to do the twist-of-the-wrist thing to get it spinning... but I'm out of time, so I'll leave it for a day.
Go in today and, yep, there's a non-system floppy in the A: drive. <blush> Pop it out and it boots like normal.
In my own defence, I will say that this machine is a P120 running Win95 GA (not even OSR2) that has been giving HD problems for a while, and I half expected it to die the death when I had to move it from the office to the library. But that still is no excuse for not checking the FD...
no point running for the LART shelter, I'll stand here and take it.
[By: chazz]
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Actually, I snuck in last night and put that floppy in there just to make you laugh today. :) -TechMama
I did that once. It took me a while to diagnose it - the catch for the "floppy release" button was busted, so it looked at first glance like it was empty. (At least, that's what I keep telling myself.) -Shevaresh
I think that a floppy-LART isn't going to sting as badly as you have alrady lashed yourself! zzziiippp! -TieDyedDinosaur
Shhhh! I won't tell if you won't tell! -CyBear
Well, there goes my hero. <sniff> -namor
Ready, Aim, Fire. Damit missed. -momo
Funny.. I have a spare anvil for my leather working projects... INNNNNCOOOMMMING! (Huh? What do you mean, 'What leather projects?' I do leather work. Yeah, that kind too, why?) -ShujinTribble
That's never happened to me. Never. Not at all. Honest. -Criptonite
Of all the comments here, I think Namor's is the most wounding. <..sigh..> Would it help to say that I was already late on Tuesday when I first powered it up, and knew I didn't have time to troubleshoot, and that I found it within three or four minutes of getting back on site on Wednesday? -chazz
There's not point in LART'ing techs... after ever 30 starfish you help, you're entitled to one starfish moment... -TrueTenacity
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33.
Good reason to be in a different room...
I got a call where it was actually a good thing that he was not in the same room...
"Yeah, I turned it on and flames came out."
So what did you do?
"I turned it off, unplugged it, closed the doors and opened the windows. By then the flames weren't coming out any more, so I came in here and got myself a Scotch. Then I called you."
This was a US monitor that had been shipped to Europe. It had been ordered set for 220v. Needless to say, it wasn't. Said client, who was not a starfish, then had to call the States to return the monitor.
"Yes, I ordered this monitor for use in Europe. It should have arrived preset for 220v, as I requested. When I powered it up, it instantly blew up. My tech says that it was still set to 110v. I'd like a new one, please, as this is rather obviously an oversight at your end."
'Well, you know, you can change that setting yourself, and so it is kind of out of our control.'
"You can? You know, I looked for someplace to change that, and I couldn't find any place. Where would I change that?"
'Well, just look in your manual on page... umm... uh... Here's an RMA number.'
Of course, the new one also came still set for 110V. And you had to open the case and move a jumper on the PSU board to change it. Luckily, this was so un-starfishy a user that I was perfectly willing to have him do that small job himself... as he was watching closely on the burned one when I went inside to find out why it had failed.
[By: chazz]
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Flames shooting out from monitor = bad. I remember that much from my hardware days. He may not be a starfish, but he has my respect for not panicing. A real tech would have left it plugged in and broke out the marshmellows and chocolate. Mmmmm smores roasted over a cackling monitor fire. *sniff* now you made me homesick. -scooby111
What a coincidence, see comments in http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=51521 -TieDyedDinosaur
I'm shocked! 220V? -CyBear
Actually, TDD, I should have mentioned that it was comments to that story that reminded me of this one... And Scooby, I'll pass on the monitor s'mores, I find the chemical smoke leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. -chazz
Scoob, that'd be fun, but I don't think I'd want to actually eat the marshmallow that was roasted over a monitor fire. The things that would be in the air.. -NightSteel
I've found that fire and computer equipment generally doesn't go well together. It would be cool to see video of a 110v monitor being hooked to a 220 line... -Starfury
I remember reading somewhere that it's generally UNSAFE to be opening the case to the monitor, in ANY way... ZZZZAAAAPPP!!!! -MadJack
MadJack -- WHen something has just been shipped (by ocean) from North America to Europe, a process that has taken a minimum of three weeks and involved at least a week in relatively high humidity, I do believe that most of the charge will have leaked off. Ordinarily I'd agree with you, having been bitten by a CRT that had been sitting idle for two months... but in this case I had reason to believe it was safe, and for the limited amount of stuff he had to do, he knew what he was doing and what to avoid. Me, I was an electronics geek before I was a computer geek, and I still replace capacitors on motherboards rather than buying new mobos. -chazz
Didn't think about that, tho, admittedly, a monitor that hasn't been used in weeks shouldn't have any zap in it until it's plugged in. Still, that's about the only thing you learn about troubleshooting the monitor itself in the A+ course: DON'T open it. PERIOD. Meddle with the CRT, and you're gambling with your life, even with a grounding strap. (Makes one wonder about replacement TV tubes in the old days...) -MadJack
lol I have in the past worked on those old tv's with charged CRT's, the pretty blue arc is quite impressive -LunaticFringe
"Arcs & sparks & blue smoke!" "Arcs & Sparks & Blue Smoke!" <10 points for anyone who knows where that quote came form...> -MadJack
MadJack - I am going to guess Dr. Who. Either that or you have been microwaving CD's again. -FrontSideBus
Actually, I've heard taht you can avoid MOST of the LETHAL hazards of working on a live monitor by tucking one hand into your belt behind your back while you do so: it keeps you from making a circuit between your hands (and through your heart.) Of course, it is also wise to be standing on a dry floor with rubber-soled shoes. And a grounding strap can actually be DANGEROUS to the tech when doing CRT work: it's just another possible path for the high-voltage to make a circuit THROUGH your body. That said, I actually adjusted the V-SIZE trim-pot on my TV while it was on recently: it made the hair stand up on the back of my hand when I leaned a little too close to the big cable attached to the side of the tube. Now I can read the subtitles on my fansub anime at 640x480 just fine! -LoTech
I've worked on TV's and CRT's plenty of times and had no problems.
I've worked on TV's and CRT's plenty of times and had no problems.
I've worked on TV's and CRT's plenty of times and had no problems. -Wolfie0827
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35.
TechTales...
Just a quick head's up... TechTales has updated. I don't see why they take so long, it's not like they are doing any moderating or anything... and I'm afraid there isn't anything as good this month as there was last month. Oh, well, win some, lose some.
Just in case you don't know where TechTales is: http://www.techtales.com/tftechs.html .
[By: chazz]
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wow, an entire techtales month without a single 'too stupid to use a computer' story, although there is a reference to it. -Shaede
TRAITOR - how dare you go to false idols like TechTales... As punishment, you PC is to be replaced with a Atari ST - Without Internet access for 2 weeks... -Wonko The Sane
awww, Wonko, if you were to offer that trade with an Amiga.... -Jax
Aaaaaannd just what's wrong with an Atari ST??? Huh? HMMMMM???? I have several of them and if it weren't for the Atari ST, I wouldn't be a Sys Admin today. I owe my start in the tech world to my ST *hugs his Atari ST Mega2*. : ) -JoeLugian
Punishment should be to support MCB. For a week. Sober. -CommanderData
I know the ST is not much of a punishment, the real punishment is NO INTERNET access, and after the 2 weeks is up, having to go back to a PC - Wow, dosen't it take a long time to get to a usable desktop! -Wonko The Sane
CD - Isn't that a bit harsh? I mean, there are some posts on that site that are really quite excellent. Granted, not many... but last months "Put the pig on the phone please..." was almost as good as we've seen here, and I seem to recall that one Polgara posted a few stories there that were the equivalent of our own CD's <grin>... and perhaps you should consider yourself lucky that I demean myself to look through that dross for the occasional gem. OTOH, if supporting MCB would mean I had stories such as yours to post... it would be worth it. Wonko, if I didn't have my PC, I wouldn't be able to do my work, and I would get fired, and I wouldn't be able to keep my butt large any more... but I'd have a lot of fun playing with the various Linux boxes. Maybe I could bend the KDE shell into an Atari-style desktop? -chazz
I think techtales needs a certain quota of "cupholder" stories. -Wraith556
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36.
Just in case you missed it on slashdot..
Our own Omegawolf seems to have done some hard time almost a year ago for this. Now someone else has been arrested for the same thing. Only now does it make it to the various headlines -- appeared on Fark, among other places. http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/05/07/06/0217252.shtml?tid=193&tid=17 -- and any of our members in Florida, be aware of this as well.
[By: chazz]
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This is bad? Only if it's your bandwidth. -Mushroom
Like a poster said on /. - the internet is based around openness. If you do not want people accessing your network/website/system etc, then you *protect it*. -modeski
I realise that what this person did was morally wrong (sitting outside and using someone elses wifi), but the actual owner admitted he knew how to secure it but didn't take those steps as everyone in the area was 'older'. It beggers belife that someone with enough technical copetence to secure the AP wouldn't also understand that by leaving it open and broadcasting it would appear to be an open invitation to people. If I were the judge I'd have booted both of them out as being as bad as each other. The reporting also seems to be off kilter, nobody is sure what the guy was doing (but quite probably harmless stuff) there is no need to dredge up kiddie porn and the like at the end of the article, that just smacks of fear mongering. -fearmyroot
ohhh kay. while yes- bad person for taking advantage of a open network. its OPEN! jeez! whos to say this wasnt somone on a laptop - writting up a paer who happened to open up IE and bang- internet was theer! windows can be easaly configured ( and i belive is defaulted to) picking up on any available wireless network and connecting. The charges seem akin to a welcome mat under the "tress passers will be procecuted" sign in front of an open shop door. The owner of the router shoudl be penalized more so for knowlingly leaving his network open. Lets start locking up anyone with a WiFI PDA too! -Harm
No, you can't use my WATER FOUNTAIN! Same principle, isn't it? -CTYankee
While the nefarious side of me loves open WiFi networks and finds some thrill in driving around the city looking for them, the moral and ethical side of me (dammit all) says that using someone else's wifi without permission is wrong. The following is an analogy: If there is a sidewalk going up to your house and your front door is unlocked then it must be okay for me to walk into your house, watch your tv, relax in your air conditioning, read your mail and sleep on your couch. After all, I am not harming anything. I am not taking anything. And you were probably not using it. The A/C was probably on. The TV, even when off is consuming electricity so I am not doing anything by turning it on and watching it. Hopefully I am not getting your couch any dirtier. And your mail? Well, you were going to read it anyway so I saved you the trouble of opening it. Analogy over. -ecoli
The problem with all the analogies of home invasion are invalid. The WiFi signal is being broadcast into public airspace. So, to have a true analogy drawn by using the example of a house, you would have to be air conditioning; supplying electricity to; and put your couch, TV, etc.. all in a public area. Then I would imagine you have no right to get upset if someone laid on your couch, et al. So, as a /.'er mentioned, it wasn't unauthorized use. The guy on the laptop submitted a request to the router to use the service, and was given the creditials and authorization to use it when he was given the IP to do so. So really, his use wasn't unauthorized as the article seems to imply. -DragonMageWTF
My wifi network is open. I would protect it, but last time I tried to password it, it broke and I had to hard-reset my router. I'd be pissed off if someone was leeching off me, but only at myself for not securing it. As it is, the signal barely reaches outside the house anyway. If I found any leechers I'd simply make the effort to secure it - why would I bother calling the cops? -hugepedlar
If it is a service that you don't pay for and you don't have the owner's permission to use, it is wrong. Period. end of subject. Nobody owes you free stuff because you feel entitled. It is getting hard for people to realize theft because it isn't physically taking something, but it is theft. If it wasn't theft, then why would people need to "lock" their networks. There is nothing to justify here. Your telco box is outside your house. does that mean I can link a phone to it and make calls because you don't require call codes? No. -KalAshlar
No, not everything is theft. Walking into someone's house is called trespassing, not theft. Illegally copying software is called Copyright Infringement, not theft. Not everything that's immoral or illegal or unethical is theft. -hugepedlar
So that makes it right? We can split hairs all day. doesn't change the fact that it is wrong. And if you use or take something I pay for without my express (not implied) permission. Then yes it is theft. maybe to keep you from trying to justify I should've just said that it is criminal.
-KalAshlar
I'm with DragonMage on this. Anything broadcasted over the airwaves that is not encrypted or secured in some manner is public domain as far as I'm concerned. Is it morally wrong to use someone's unsecured AP without their knowledge or consent? Only if you use it maliciously, IMHO. Local news stations have been doing spots on wardriving and the hazards of unsecured APs for some time now, so there is no valid excuse for someone to be running a wide-open WAP these days. People who are too stupid or too lazy to secure their wireless network get what they deserve. -RiffRaff
so if your car is im a parking lot, and you forgot to put your gascap on, then I can siphon your gas? that is ok? since you didn't secure it and it is in public space. -KalAshlar
KalAshlar: I didn't say it wasn't WRONG - I said not everything that's wrong is THEFT. Which is true. Riff: I totally agree - I am too lazy to secure my connection, and until I can be bothered to get off my arse and do something about it I'm quite prepared to take what I deserve. That's the price I pay for my laziness, and so should the guy in the story. -hugepedlar
Why do people insist on using car analogies so often? A car is not a computer, and it most certainly is not an open wireless network - it's not even comparing apples and oranges: at least they're both fruit - it's more like comparing apples and Time - there IS no comparison. -hugepedlar
We are using analogies because alot of peolpe seem to have a hard time grasping right and wrong so we are having to give specific examples.
Should people secure their networks? Yes// Do they? Not all the time// Does this mean people should use access that is there just because "it's not secured"? No.. it is still wrong//Everyone likes focusing on the fact it is the WiFi owners fault instead of the person doing wrong.. a disturbing trend of "It's right for me so I am going to do it regardless of consequence"// Here is a thought. Shouldn't WiFi equip force you to go through a setup page that requires you secure it prior to being able to use it? Just a first time redirect whenever the AP or router is in default config. In that case, wouldn't it be the vendors fault for not forcing security? -KalAshlar
I agree with that - WiFi should indeed be secure by default, though I suspect a lot of people will turn it off when they can't get it to work... This also raises the question of who to blame for viruses and spam: the spammers and virus writers, the starfish who leave their computers wide open and click on every email attachment, or Microsoft for building a shitty OS? These are questions without simple answers. -hugepedlar
no these questions have easy answers: Those with malicious intent are at fault. It doesn't matter how well you secure something, people will work to find a way. Every OS has flaws and issues. Windows gets hit harder because it is the most widely used. People who write these things are trying to get noticed. // For spam, that has nothing to do with OS. it has to do with the SMTP protocol and how it cannot easily verify sender information. The truth there is we need a different protocol to send mail. -KalAshlar
I leave mine wide open. two words: plausible deniability. -mwad
KalAshlar: you need to find new analogies, because the ones you are using are reminding me of the ones that I'm seeing from some of the more idiotic /. posters. If you want to compair using a open AP to something, how about a garbage can on the screet. Every week people put their garbage cans out for trash pickup. Using a open AP to surf the internet is better compaired to throwing away a paper cup into one of those garbage bins on the street. While it is not your garbage can, it is out in the open and throwing away a used paper cup into it is not what I would call a crime. Now, again, I am only use that analogy for using a open AP to surf the internet. For someone using a open AP for filesharing, sending death threats, and other illegal things, that requires a different analogy. -Chalax
Guy admitted he lazy with his security, guy got abused. I lock my car when I leave it in a public place. Why? To keep CASUAL theft from happening. I have WAP and its locked down tight. Why? To keep CASUAL bandwidth siphoning from happening. Will either stop/deter the dedicated criminal? No. Will I feel like a complete idiot when someone breaks into either of them? NO, I secured them as best I could while having them in a public-accessible situation. Whether or not it is theft is irrelevant, the gov't generally defines this as theft-of-service, a different class of crime compared to property theft. Was the guy wrong for using this open WAP? Yes. Not in a commercial or business area, he had no resonable expectation of use for it. Was the owner of the WAP an idiot? Who knows, he is admittedly lazy and if this was a honey-trap, it has to be the worst example of one I have read about yet. So, both sides of story covered, car analogy done up right and definition of type of theft. Did I miss anything? Can we move on with our lives now? -GargoyleTS
To avoid the barage of emails to chazz (too late), opened a related thread in the Break Room. -DragonMageWTF
If I were them i'd have fought it in court because wireless is covered by the FCC and there is no law saying you can't send and recieve un-encripted signals when you start breaking encryptions then it's bad and if it's un-secured and you access the computer on it then it's invasion of privacy. These are my views take them or leave them. -Slycat
I'm with Mwad on this one. I leave mine wide open too, but, I also have a "honeypot" in the dmz <BEFG> I'm HOPING to get hacked -Spyder19
Things like this are so easily preventable. I hate it when people say things like "Well, I was unsure of what to do," so they do nothing. Well, nothing is the worst thing they can do, but they choose to do it anyways because they're 'unsure'. It's just the newest euphemism for 'lazy', as far as I'm concerned. -teivrann
"People have used the cloak of wireless to traffic in child pornography, steal credit card information and send death threats, according to authorities." Wow...I was doing all that long before I had a computer! I agree with Gargoyle and Teivrann. -TranceGemini
My WiFi network is locked down so tight that I guarantee nobody can crack the security. Of course, not having a wireless network helps a bit. <bfeg> -missourimule
Good thing I'm in Canada... If I remember correctly, our laws refer to wireless internet as free... thus, a person with a wireless access point is responsible for keeping people out. -renaultguy
One MAJOR issue with WI-FI is incompatibility between various manufacturer's offerings. I have seen many valid instances where turning on WEP for Netgear router had issues with say a DLINK card, EVEN though all cards allegedly support the same WEP standard. That said, IF you can, use only one manufacturer's equipment, use WPA, and use MAC address filtering. -BesideMyself
I work at a hotel in downtown Omaha and we are surrounded by businesses, well, we have bleedover from some of them and it's open. -STJ
Just to cap this a little: From a local radio station's licensing PSA: "Radio waves are public property in Canada..." which means that unlike Florida, if yu receive it, it's yours. My AP is locked down and my work computers are on a different (and separately firewalled) leg of my home net. And BesideMyself: whaile that's not exactly on-topic, what I have found is that manufacturers use different techniques to turn alpha keys into hex keys for WEP, so if you go with the hex string you should be all right no matter what manufacturer you use. Usually. -chazz
There are WiFi hot-spots set up for public use in many places. If I find a hot spot, does it fall to my burdon to verify this is a public access point or a private point? If I think I am hitting the Inner Harbor public WiFi, but instead am accidentally leaching onto Joe Blow's WiFi in his waterfront condo (with a non-descriptive name, as the article suggests), am I gonna get hit with a felony charge? I agree with Canada. Deem it public if it is in the public space, and put the burdon on the owners of the connection. -JTSBrown
And if it is secured, and the security is cracked, that's different. But if it's open, and the owner hasn't secured it, consider it shared. The providers won't like it, but maybe that will prompt them to do something about it, making it easier for users to secure their networks. I don't think their concern should be WarDrivers. It would be neigbors leaching or getting permission to access a single paying customer's account. As far as all these analogies is concerned, they are all very off the mark. Siphoning gas is stealing gas that the car owner would need to replace. Breaking into a house is an invasion of privacy. They are flawed because you keep mistaking the victim. The actual victim in these cases is the ISP. When Cable got tired of people stealing cable from their neighbors (covertly or concentually), the fixed it by requiring a cable box for the best services. The ISPs need to do something to help the issue. When techs on this board even say they haven't secured their networks, how can we expect our starfish customers who received a free wireless router from Verizon to do it. -JTSBrown
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37.
Geek elite?
Didn't want to bump the link of the day...
Japanese publisher is including an "otaku" test and including it in his magazine; the intent is to create a formal geek elite, so to speak. http://iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw1120546800195A141 Should the same thing be available for techies?
[By: chazz]
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I'm only going to join if Razor and Blade are the leaders. HACK THE PLANET!!! -Bioguy
lol, sort of like mensa...but much cooler. -xtc46
any self-purported "elite" organization like this will be filled with self-important wankers whose prime interest is awarding themselves fancy titles. at least it makes it easier to recognize them. -illiterate
You mean we aren't already? :) -Mushroom
Good point, illiterate. Maybe all the "true elite" of that organization will go away and stop bothering us... too busy comparing "merit badges". -chazz
"A Japanese publisher will hold a national qualifying exam for self-confessed "nerds" on their knowledge of comics, video games and other obsessive hobbies in a bid to smash prejudice and nurture a so-called 'geek elite'." Someone's getting confused between nerds and geeks... -smellystudent
All of the fake elite will join just for the titles. The real elite do not need to prove anything. They will just push "the button" that destroys the faux elite. -ecoli
What I find surprising is the presence of the word "Otaku" used that way in a Japanese publication. My knowledge of this is all second hand, but I'd heard that the Japanese often use it to describe someone who has followed an obsession to the point of losing the values which make them human. When an individual named Miyazaki Tsutomu abducted, violated, murdered, and dismembered small children, the Japanese media used his fanaticism with anime and manga (Japanese comics) to identify his crime spree as the Otaku Murders. Since then, "otaku" has been taken as meaning more of "mentally unbalanced obsessive fan" than just fanatic, despite being used by many non-Japanese as the latter. At least, that's what I'd seen up until this article. -HidariMak
I'd settle for being a member-in-good-standing of the Genishiken; I feel no great need to be elected "King Dork." *puts down his copy of the July issue of "Anime Insider"* -LoTech
Waiting on a certain tribble to chime in... -HappyCrappy
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38.
Job posting - YVR
I know this belongs maybe in the forum, but I don't get in there much lately so I suspect others may not either... so if I'm in the wrong place, my apologies in advance.
Anyway -- What I have is a possible position for an on-site junior to intermediate tech in the Lower Mainland of BC. Very small company, Linux (primarily RH and Fedora) and Windows, pays C$20-25/hour. Certs don't matter, starfish need not apply. If you're interested WB or mail me at charles at manna dot bc dot ca for details.
[By: chazz]
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:-| I'm ... well, if I could relocate like that, I'd be there. Could I still get some more details? -namor
It's in my neighbourhood, but I know zilch about Linux. >_< -Frazzled
$20/25 canadian? What's that, like $3.... err. nevermind <watches dollar drop like a rock> Will you guys sponser a US tech? -scooby111
I'm with Frazzled on that one... Interested, but no Linux knowledge... -Bynar
Revision: Little if any Linux (though I personally suspect that will increase over time); mostly Windows workstation stuff. Frazzled, Bynar, I'll send more info. -chazz
Damn, if I could convince the wife to move, I'd apply. I don't know linux, but I'd sure as hell learn fast enough! -SwedishChef
I know very little Linux, otherwise I'd apply. Good luck Chazz! -Mango
;_; I would love that job. Depending on the insurance I would really be tempted to switch. Hell they could look at the server I built for my current workplace as an example. -TheMage18
hmm ottawa kinda sux... why not! never been to BC - buut i do enjoys its, err. exports?* draaaag* -Harm
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39.
"that other site" updated...
Just the usual head's up... TechTales has finally updated, after two months. Looks like only one "too stupid to use a computer" story this cycle, and almost enough that are funny to make it worth reading...
[By: chazz]
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I've never worked out why it takes them so long to update... I mean, they seem to post everything, regardless of quality/relevance, so why doesn't it just automatically let them through? -Shaede
The webmaster's mum only let's him online once every two months. -modeski
^^^ Erk. Apologies for the apostrophe misuse, it's been a long day. -modeski
Computer Stupidities has been updated today too. -WinterWolf
Thanks, but the actual funny site updates every minute or so. ;) -scooby111
After five months, Computer Stupidities has fifteen (!) new stories? I knew tehre was a reason I didn't usually bother with that site... maybe they don't update frequently because they don't like the bandwidth bills? -chazz
Pity they don't come here instead - the first one (about the modem warranty) was great!
-Divinar
Pity they don't come here instead - the first one (about the modem warranty) was great!
-Divinar
What the? How'd I do that? -Divinar
Yep! This site is much better. Here, posts are sometimes updated twice in a row. Example above. -TheGhost
divinar - was it JUST great, or really really great? -omegawolf
divinar - was it JUST great, or really really great? -omegawolf
omg...I hate to say this, but the first one, about the modem warranty, could quite possibly be the second funniest thing I have ever read. Thanks Chazz :) -Mango
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40.
A work of fiction...
Robert Langdon looked up from the corpse. He polished his horn-rimmed glasses on his silk American Symbology Society tie, carefully avoiding the Crux Ansata With Fries tieclip, and looked down at the detective as if he were a class of thirty sophomores.
"You notice, of course, the five-pointed star, and the body arranged in the same fashion. That star is one of the oldest and most potent symbols of the human race. Pagans use it as a symbol of White Magic - or of Black Magic if inverted. But to the initiated, it has a darker meaning. It is known as the Sign of the Starfish, or Sea Star.
"It is a sign used by one of the most secretive organizations in the world. Most of its members do not know each others' real names, and in many cases have never met face to face. To the initiates, the Sea Star symbolizes the dark powers of stupidity. It represents a marine animal with five appendages, no brain, and only one opening, which is used for eating, crapping, and apparently speaking...
"While it is thought that nobody - nobody - knows the real identities of all the initiates, it seems certain that they have infiltrated many of the world's most powerful organizations. For instance, their symbol appears on the flags of both the People's Republic of China and the United States. As 'the Asterisk', it is a symbol associated with the American President.
"Under the name 'Stella Maris', the Catholic Church has used it to label the Virgin Mary, as part of their centuries-old attempt to replace all imagery connected with female power by images of incompetence and inability to change the screen resolution. Please write a fifteen-hundred-word paper on this for next -- sorry, Monsieur, I forgot that I wasn't in class.
"Where was I? Did you know that a few decades ago, the world software industry suppressed the traditional multiplication sign in all major computer languages, to ensure that the Sea Star would appear on every computer keyboard in the world? It's on telephones, too. Even children's television has recently begun to display the symbol, in a context unusually close to its original meaning."
The detective started, and tunelessly whistled the theme music of "Bob L'Eponge" . Then he spoke. "Alors, M. Langdon, you can help us find who killed this man then?"
"No. If Tech Support Comedy did it, then I reckon he probably needed killin'." replied the symbologist.
------
-- Written by Dr. Bob, an associate who truly grasps the tao of TSC.
[By: chazz]
Comment on Story
Comments
Wow... me love you long time! -Veinor
And was there a taco in one ear and a dollar in the other? -TieDyedDinosaur
Whoa. Do you need a disciple? -namor
Who needs the Illuminati when you have TSC? <bfeg> -viennasausage
Somebody's been reading the Da Vinci Code. -RandalGraves
I thought chazz WROTE the DaVinci code... -Spyder19
That is.....wow...awesome. We need a 'Best of TSC' section for stuff like this. Yo Hawk! -CommanderData
<sound of two starfish being smaked together> Bravo! Encore! Vive Le CHAZZ!!! -TechOgre
Not Worthy, Chazz. Not worthy. -RTFM
I do appreciate all the comments, but I must point out... I can only claim editing credit for this one, it was Dr. Bob who wrote it. Dr. Bob is that truly rare individual, a university professor who is competent outside his area of specialization... and he has read the DaVinci code, and has managed to refrain from throwing it down the toilet or setting it on fire halfway through -- thus displaying a level of self-control that I for one find incredible. -chazz
This writing is so much better than Dan Brown's. He ideas may be intriguing but he is a shoddy writer.
Dr Bob should write more. -K1W1
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41.
Complain about insults? Insult 'em again
A professor friend of mine passed this on: Seems he had a student about ten years back, who is now trying to make a go of things as an urban planner. It would appear that he's not doing very well... he seems to have some income, but not enough to pay everything that he's committed to paying. In that situation, of course, you don't want to declare bankruptcy, because you're almost making enough to squeak by, and bankruptcy, if you're a contractor, can eliminate what little income you have.
Probably because of everything, he has been getting steadily angrier and more abusive in his emails, and he's the sort of person who uses a mailing list with everybody and his dog on it. Including my friend and the Prime Minister. As if the PMO doesn't get enough nutcase-generated mail...
Anyhow, in the course of a (possibly) justified complaint about municipal planning, he started ranting about "Arab and Jew" developers. The lady at the NDP Caucus Office (yes, she's on the CC list as well) complained about his bigoted remarks and asked that they be taken off his CC list. At this point, he went ballistic and started using very ungentlemanly language in very capital letters. CC'd to half the Internet, too... including my friend, and the Prime Minister, one presumes.
Shortly after that came a letter of apology from the ISP, and there have been no further comments from the erstwhile urban planner. Can you say AUP? I knew you could... sometimes it works.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
ooooo, that's just painful stupidity on his part but a very well-deserved LART from the ISP. -CommanderData
I have always wondered about urban planners. Especially the ones that think up things like traffic circles. -TieDyedDinosaur
Let's face it. If he was smart, he wouldn't be an urban planner. Of course, the PM should be used to the abuse by now. -scooby111
<hijack>Urban planners are not always trying to make it easier for you to get around with a car. A lot of planning goes into ENCOURAGING citizens to walk, bike or use mass transit in downtown areas. The more roads and streets there are in an area, by defination, will be less 'urban' and more 'suburban' - a thing a lot of planners try very hard to avoid. -jard
GRRR! We here in Gromit City are currently suffering from a severe attack of urban planners. These prats have come up with something called "traffic calming" which consists of buggering up perfectly good roads by putting chicanes and speed-humps every 10 metres. This is ostensibly to discourage drivers from keeping the statistics favourable by running over the odd pedestrian or two. Does it slow the traffic down? Too fucking right it does. Does it calm the drivers down? Does it fucking arseholes... -Gromit
Hey Gromit, Is a speed-hump kinda like a quickie??? -reboot
A new meaning is given to "rear-ended"... -ChildofCthulhu
Here in Australia we have road signs that say "HUMP". An American friend of mine was visiting and when he saw one he said "What? Now?" -Gerund
Here's a good one. Moscow has a freeway that encircles the city, much like London's M25. Someone, trying to brown-nose his boss, decided to have the road named "The Road of Socialist Progress". The joke was not lost on the locals, and the punchline was only discovered just before the official naming. For anyone who has not got it by now, they were going to give the name to a "ring-road", ie: a road that doesn't go anywhere! -Wraith556
I wonder if he's the sort of urban planner who would put the plans for the demolition of a house in the basement so that someone would need a flash light to find them in the back of a filing cabinet.... -Zentar
...In an unused lavatory with a sign on the door saying, "Beware of the Leopard"... -PaseoGuy
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42.
Setting the fox to guard the chickens?
D. Reed Freeman, the "Chief Privacy Officer" of Claria Networks (formerly Gator), the creators of the pervasive spyware package GAIN, has been appointed to the Department of Homeland Security's "Data Privacy and Integrity Advisory Committee".
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2005/02/23/gator/index.html?source=RSS
Frankly, there are times I am glad I am Canadian.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
Gator isn't Spyware, and Homeland Security will protect your privacy. -satanstech
"Whst would an angel say? The devil wants to know." -LoTech
Damn, Chazz! I used that *exact* phrase about foxes and chickens when relating the article to a co-worker! Must have been a long distance mind-meld! -SwedishChef
I may be Canadian, but the thought still scares me. -Harm
Kerrist am I glad the Pond is nice and wide - hopefully the fallout will have dissipated by the time the cloud reaches us in the UK. Now, all we have to do is extract TB's nose from the Shrub's arse and we're (comparatively) safe. -Gromit
No doubt even though it's been noted that this guy has no knowledge of the software or how it works itself my fear is that he's obviously for advertising without regard to consumer privacy I don't think he'll have any more with the rights of a private citizen. -seventh
Thank $DEITY I'm a Canadian... -Torinir
Thank <insert diety here> I'm Canad... oh wait. I'm not. I'm screwed! -ecoli
Attention!! Attention!! All Canadians must now do the "I'm-happy-I'm-Canadaian" dance!! <TechOgre begins to boogie!!> -TechOgre
I do that dance every morning and don't have to salute the flag or anything! -Evilturnip
"Blame Canada! Blame Canada!" [/South Park Movie] -technaround
Oh shit... government-mandated, illegal-to-block popups! -Veinor
Popup-blocking is treason. -ThirdOfFive
DHS and Claria. Pot, kettle, black... -hkypipe
hkypipe, that is actually a very good point... and makes me even gladder that my flag has a maple leaf on it. <Happy Canuck dance> -chazz
uh, oh.... -Psudo
Hi, I'm not a luberjack or a fur trader. I don't eat blubber, live in an igloo or own a dog sled......sorry it had to be done "diety" bless the great white north! -RandalGraves
Makes me even more glad that I'm Australian. Shame our PM's favourite negotiating position is "trousers down and touching his toes". -Wraith556
Oh, hell. Between that and the idea Bush is proposing about free market electricity--the US is farked. I can't laugh about it anymore because it's gone beyond funny into the terrifying. -snowcrash
canada just plain old sucks, might as well just die -postal tech
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43.
Who you are = what you pay
Well,I know, of course it does... but it seems that who you claim you are matters just as much.
http://it.slashdot.org/it/05/02/07/216255.shtml?tid=137&tid=98&tid=218
Seems Dell has different prices for large business, home users, government / DOD, and small business... interestingly enough, the small business price is less than the government / DOD price, which IIRC is against Federal law there in the States...
[By: chazz]
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Comments
Don't know about US federal law... here we have special setups for government, and... well, that's just because they're a huge customer. -namor
sounds about right. Usually business', government etc buy more at a time. So they can give deals. That's my thought on it -Bunglehawk069
This is news? </EggShen> (If I weren't so old, fat, and slow, I'd be able to dodge LARTS better!!) -Ulfgaard
ok your missing the point that each stage gives a discount :- sb 10% enterprize is 20% off the website price for example. which makes total rubbish of the info on the website -strider
Since many gov't agencies totally ban outlook express and games and such, there may be higher price quoted for the special build. -CyBear
Quote from the article: "Intrigued, I grabbed the first part number I found (a 512MB memory module #A0193405) and found that the list price is $289.99 which the price offered to 'large businesses'. Meanwhile, the GSA/DOD contract price is $266.21 while 'home users' find the list-price discounted to $275.49 and 'small businesses' fare even better with a $246.49 price." CyBear, memory is memory, same part number and everything, has nothing to do with what build is on the computer that you're buying the memory for. -chazz
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44.
Spammer with a sense of humour?
Most peculiar... either I have received a message from a spammer with a sense of humour, or I have been approached by one who is two years behind the curve...
In any event, the subject line is all I need to quote. "All your Meds are belong to us..."
[By: chazz]
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Comments
I saw this in a Stock market spam: "A fool and his money are soon parted". -DoctorTech
A tool and his monkey are soon larted. -robbor
Heyyyyy, I got that one today too. -VIPERsssss
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46.
WooHoo! I'm Rich!
GLOBAL NATIONAL
LOTTERY AGENCY
IN
COLLABORATION
WITH THE DEPARTMENT
OF NATIONAL LOTTERY
CONSUMER
AFFAIRS
SHELLBRIDGE WAY
RICHMOND, SUITE 800
WINNIPEG,
MANITOBA.
P.O.BOX 7774 PIGNR ROAD 8
ACCRA-GHANA
NOV. 20,
2004
WINNING NOTIFICATION
THIS AGENCY WISH TO INFORM YOU OF THE GLOBAL NATIONAL LOTTERY
PROGRAMMES HELD IN THE FIRST QUARTER OF THE YEAR 2003 IN ACCRA GHANA SUB
REGIONAL HEAD QUARTERS IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE WEST AFRICAN MONETARY
INSTITUTE THIS LOTTERY AGENCY IS SET UP TO BECOME THE WORLD NUMBER ONE
LOTTERY AGENCY AND TO ACHIEVE THIS AIM WE
HAVE ORGANISED A PROMOTION OF
TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS.
FOR THE TWELVE LUCKY WINNERS WHOSE EMAIL ADDRESS
WAS SELECTED RANDOMLY FROM THE WORLD WIDE WEB SITE THROUGH COMPUTERS DRAW
SYSTEM AND EXTRACTED FROM OVER 100,000 INDIVIDUALS AND COMPANIES. THIS
PROMOTION TAKES PLACE ANNUALLY.
THIS EMAIL NOTIFICATION IS BEING SENT TO YOU AS YOUR EMAIL
ADDRESS WITH TICKET NO. 522/5390/800/NG FELL WITHIN THE 4TH CATEGORY OF
WINNERS IN THIS SUB REGION THEREBY MAKING YOU A LUCKY WINNER OF $ 1
MILLION DOLLARS.
TO FILE YOUR CLAIM PLEASE CONTACT OUR FIDUCIARY AGENT
MR.Fred
Ansah
EMAIL: (mail address excised)
OR (mail address excised)
TO AVOID UNNECESSARY DELAYS AND COMPLICATIONS, YOU ARE
TO
CONTACT MR.Fred Ansah WITH THE FOLLOWING DETAILS
BELOW.
1.YOUR FULL NAMES, TELEPHONE, AND FAX NUMBERS, CONTACT ADDRESS
AND
2.QUOTE YOUR TICKET NUMBER IN ANY CORRESPONDENCES WITH OUR
DESIGNATED AGENT OR US.A
WE SINCERELY CONGRATULATE YOU FOR EMERGING AS ONE OF OUR
LUCKY WINNERS
SINCERELY,
DR.MRS ESTHER SEITH
GLOBAL NATIONAL LOTTERY
AGENCY ZONAL CORDINATOR
N.B; ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALTY ON THE PART OF WINNERS WILL
RESULT TO DISQUALIFICATION. PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MAIL. CONTACT YOUR
CLAIMS AGENT IMMEDIATELY.
________________________________________________
Kaixo! (http://www.kaixo.com)
Portal de Euskadi - Euskadiko ataria
===========================================
A lottery I never even entered! And I won! WooHoo!
I live within driving distance of Shellbridge Road, Richmond, in fact if all goes well I'll be driving past there later today. Should I take this email with me and see if I can claim my prize? Shellbridge Road is only about a mile long, there can't be more than 200 places I'd have to stop and see if it was the place...
[By: chazz]
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Comments
Absolutely, you should stop by, although I'm sure it's bogus. -RiffRaff
Oh, it's totally bogus, but stop by anyway, should be fun. -CommanderData
Unfortunately, "Shellbridge Way, Richmond, Suite 800" is not a valid address; it's a light-industrial strip, and there are enough 8-story buildings there that it would be a pain to try and find the "Suite 800" they refer to. -chazz
Still, though, you *are* rich now. Can I borrow $20? (Ummmmm, I think that would be $7,965.87 Canadian dollars. <eg>) -RiffRaff
Hey -- maybe that Suite 800 is part of another address? I mean, English is evidently not this guy's strongest suit. Maybe he means Suite 800, Winnipeg, Manitoba? Gee, I wonder how many Suite 800s there are in Winnipeg? Couple thousand, maybe? -chazz
Riff, no, the Canadian dollar has been rising against the US dollar lately. $20 US? That would be... let's see... $6,341.77 today. Of course, these jokers are in Accra-Ghana, which doesn't know anything about hoser bucks, so I would assume that was one... million... US dollars... -chazz
you cant win it now anyway.."ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALTY" you posted it on the web..you broke the contract... -neuman1812
I can send ya a phone book, if you want. :) I'm guessing from the IP's it doesn't originate around here? -namor
namor: It hit my mailer from 212.34.140.209, which according to whois is administered by one marcos (at) ran.se, which is Sweden, apparently. The domain kaixo.com does resolve to that IP address; it is registered to an admin contact in Spain; the tech contact is hostmaster (at) securesites.com in Colorado. -chazz
Nothing around here, then... I just find it funny that my out-of-the-way town is mentioned. -namor
1 mill?!?!? tight gits, I won 16mill the other week :) -Armakuni
THE World Wide Web Site??? Is this anything like that bed commercial that's "approved by THE Space Foundation"? I'd never have figured the FCC and DOJ to approved a merger of all the WWW sites, especially so soon after the ATT & Cingular deal. =D -missourimule
Chazz, for some reason I thought you were from BC. No? -Mango
I hate these more than the 401 scams - When I see these, I still have 0.00000001 seconds of 'Hey, I won' before reality comes crashing down... -Shaede
Riff - Remember the dollar has gone up, it's now only $6879.28!! Come on, get your facts straight!! 8-) -TechOgre
chazz - Riff - sorry, didn't read all the comments before commenting, so I'm commentning on my commnet that was placed without reading the comments. Any comments on my comment of my comment? -TechOgre
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47.
What happened to Chazz?
Well, folks, what it is, it's a viral thing that acts very like strep throat but without apparent streptococcus. Likely I'm going to be out of circulation for a few days while I try to whip this.
Despite the fact that I have only heard back from Bynar and jhuang, I'm going to leave the BC BBQ cancelled. Techs, especially phone techs, simply do not need a viral thing that leaves them as sore as strep and that cannot be treated.
As Riff says, I'm sure we'll be able to do this again next year... if not sooner.
Once again, my profound apologies...
[By: chazz]
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Chazz, after having just gotten over something similar you have my sympathies. I am sure that everyone will understand. It's not like you *wanted* to get sick at this time of all times. Just concentrate on getting better soon. -DreadPirate
Poor chazz! I was getting worried waiting for you to post again; hope you feel better soon! -Tekkie
$bash /usr/remedy/soups: mv chickennoodle.sp /dev/chazz -Jerbear
Poor chazz! -CommanderData
Sorry to hear that, Chazz - hope you're feeling better soon. -Treker
Spent too much time in BASH, chaz? Here's something in that vein: $chazz =~ s/$strep_virus//gi; -Veinor
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48.
TSC BBQ - BC Lower Mainland
As the message I posted to Hawk has not yet gotten up, I'm going to have to hope this can be seen by the people who are interested...
Details on the Canadian West Coast branch of the TSC July 3 BBQ:
- Time: Saturday July 3, 2004. We'll be ready to receive people probably around 1PM or so; Bynar will be grill master and I suspect he'll be firing things up around 4PM or so.
- Place: Chazz's house
Address:
830 8th Street
New Westminster, BC
As DarthLuke points out, techies shouldn't need directions!
- BYOCC: Bring your own computers and cables. LAN partying is fun, I do have a few extra computers lying around but they are pretty far behind the curve. There will be a live wireless access point (802.11g). If you have any games you'd like to play bring them too. jhuang is bringing a bunch of stuff, but I myself have very little.
- Food items: Current menu includes hamburgers, hot dogs, plus assorted chips, cookies, and snacks. If you have any food items you'd like to bring or think others would enjoy bring'em. The more the better! Stuff like buns, chips, condiments or just a few bucks for food, I have a store just a few blocks from here.
- Alcohol: I home-brew and will have some stout and a lot of mead for sure; we don't do hard liquor so if you want that you'll either have to bring your own or buy here -- liquor store open Saturday about two kilometers away.
- Firearms: Are you kidding? This is Canada. No firearms please.
- Parking: We have space for about five cars, apart from my own.
- Entertainment: We can't match Riff here; there's a hulking great tree in the back yard which makes any game with flying objects rather difficult. Frisbee works, though...
- Camping gear: If you don't feel like driving afterwards, you can camp in my yard which is reasonably flat. The weather here in July is usually plenty hot enough. A couple of really courageous people might be able to survive our living room floor but you'd need your own sleeping bags etc. We do have one guest futon which my mother-in-law says is very comfortable.
- Digital Cameras: Bring 'em, bring memory. Bring your own cable; I have only the proprietary Olympus one and somewhere a USB mini-A that I have lot track of. I have a CD burner and will gladly burn them to disk for you to take home. I do have a multipurpose card reader but have never used it.
- Lawn Chairs: My stock is limited (five plus the picnic table). If you have some and can bring them please do.
- Star Member Shirts: Since this is a TSC BBQ let's all show our spirit with TSC shirts, or at least Tech related shirts if possible. I have 1 star member shirt in case somebody needs a loaner -- I'll be wearing the other myself.
- Webcam: I'd been hoping to have a functional webcam link with DarthLuke's BBQ in Spokane and if possible for Riff's BBQ in Indianapolis as well... but with time so short and so little help from TS for a conference site, I'm losing hope.
If I've forgotten anything, feel free to post a message on my whiteboard.
[By: chazz]
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looking forward to the pics...especially after everyone has some home-brew -Techleader1
With the way you've built it up, I'm tempted to go to Canada this weekend. Looking forward to seeing the pics though. -Beeker
mmmmmmm, homebrew! </homer> I'm gonna have to get my boyfriend to bottle his soon now! Sure wish I didn't have to spend the weekend with the inlaws, so I could be a part of all this (especially since Riff's is only an hour away from me!! {sigh} Enjoy a couple of stouts and a few meads for me. :) -Jenzkind
Gah the closest possible, and STILL way out of range... DOH -Warrick
Worst case if we have a basic cam and MSN messenger or some similar client we can just do direct linkups by cam. Any Quickcam or equivalent should work with those programs. I did notice that conferencing app we tried caps you at 5fps unless you pay :( One way or another we'll get something going. -DarthLuke
Oh, maybe you should soapbox a link to this story page and ask our polite TSC buddies not to move it? -DarthLuke
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49.
Pacific NW (Canada) BBQ
Okay, we've got all the bits in place, more or less. So here's the story: Chazz is hosting a British Columbia Lower Mainland TSC BBQ on Saturday July 3rd, to coincide with DarthLuke's in Spokane and RiffRaff's in Indiana. While I had hoped it could be a little closer to our Kamloops brethren, there were no volunteers for hosting in the Abbotsford / Chilliwack area, so it looks like it's going to be New Westminster.
jhuang has very kindly volunteered a webcam which I'm hoping to get hooked up so we can have a multi-BBQ event; and Bynar has volunteered to run the grill.
This posting is basically a roll call. I know that jhuang, Bynar, and DracoSuave will be attending, and I'm hoping Teivrann, samurai, and stpatience will make it in from Kamloops as well. Anyone else is welcome, but please let me know, either by responding to this message or on my whiteboard, so that we have some idea how busy Bynar is going to be.
I have sent Hawk a message with more specifics, which I'm hoping he'll post by Monday at the latest. Failing that, I will re-post here on the board with that info.
[By: chazz]
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Drat - sorry, I won't be able to make it then. My time off is actually going to be at a family reunion about a week later in Kamloops. -teivrann
Please put me down as a hopeful - if RL does not interfere, I'd love to be there and meet some of these folks in person. :) -devzero
Bring it on! :) -Bynar
What can I bring? -Treker
Cool, whiteboard me about how you'd like to hook up via camera. Maybe you know a way to do a conference with more than just 2 people? -DarthLuke
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50.
Possible Lower Mainland BBQ
Well, here's the story. DarthLuke's BBQ in Spokane is an 8-hour drive and an international border away from the Lower Mainland of BC. Now I know there are at least three techs here -- me, jhuang, and grahamwboyes -- who may want to get to Spokane but find it a little out of reach. And I think there are a bunch of us out in Chilliwack / Abbotsford and Burnaby who would also be interested. So the question:
How much interest is there in a TSC BBQ on July 3 in the Lower Mainland?
The main problem: While between me and jhuang we can offer nearly all the amenities, the one critical item is a BBQ. I don't have one, and though I could probably borrow one from the neighbours, my own grill skillz are limited... if there is someone in the area who has the requisite skill set and perhaps a grill, I think we could be all set.
If there is interest, post responses either to this message or on my whiteboard, and we'll see what we can arrange.
[By: chazz]
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Awww, sorry chazz. :( We'll have to plan better for next year. I'm thinking international BBQ! Let's talk about it after the US Independence Day weekend! (And I'm still working on that drawing for you!) -snowcrash
I'm in kamloops BC and I have A BBQ.
-samurai
I am in chilliwack, I have a BBQ, the skills to use it, but alas - only a honda civic. No means to transport it. :S -Bynar
Kamloops being my hometown, I am planning on being there around that time for a family reunion. If I can get away for longer and make it to Vancouver, I would certainly love to do so. -teivrann
I can go. No bbq, but I do have my fair share of sarcastic wit. Do we need any more sarcastic wit? -DracoSuave
Hmm. So far, with two respondents in Kamloops and one in Chilliwack, it's looking a little as if Chilliwack might be a better location... thoughts? DracoSuave -- we can always use more sarcastic wit. Especially if the knives get dull, you can deal with that by making cutting remarks... -chazz
Chilliwack sounds good to me. -samurai
Sounds like fun. I have family in Western Washington. I'd be happy to go to your BBQ, but I'm already slated for Spokane that weekend. Am I the only one? -scooby111
July 3rd? I'd be interested if I can get the time off. Is that on a weekend? I'm up in Kamloops as well. -stpatience
chazz: keep in touch with DarthLuke and me if you get this off the ground. If you need anything, let me know. -RiffRaff
I think we should spread love.. cross borders... ennter other continents.. as means provide.. -HappyCrappy
Dracosuave is in chwk as well. (in face he was my cubemate for a duration) -Bynar
beginning to sound like an internationally linked BBQ event... would that be a first? -srteach
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51.
Not a story, really, just a question...
Charity I work for has just been approached by someone offering free web hosting if the charity buys a domain through them. They asked me to find out if there is any apparent downside...
The company in question is www.yournamesells.com, which I tend to distrust purely from the name -- sounds like a spammer haven trying to get some legit business to protect themselves.
I was wondering if anyone has any information about these guys, positive or negative, to assist me in my research... because frankly I've never heard of them before.
[By: chazz]
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Check out this site. The contact may provide you with some insight. http://www.themonsoons.com/ -Chazdonna
whois + Google quickly led me to:
http://www.rpgrealms.com/blocked.html
Apparently, their reputation is somewhat tarnished. :)
-devzero
Let's make that above comment a little more clear - the registrant for yournamesells.com has an address ad HSIOnline.com - Google that, and you'll find they're not very popular with the antispam crowd. -devzero
Hello. I work for www.yournamesells.com. We are a perfectly legitimate business... we don't spam people. We are proud to donate websites to any and all Canadian non-profits. If you are interested in testimonials from some of the numerous non-profits and charities we have donated sites to in the past, I encourage you to request them from customerservice@yournamesells.com -TheDunveganKid
Gotta wonder about TheDunveganKid here... seems he joined the site only to laud his own organization. May be true, may be not, but certainly not the most trustworthy testimonial type out there. Although I have to give him credit for not claiming to be one of his own happy customers; I would really hate to be Astroturfed. What really worries me about this whole schtick is that my charity was approached by these guys, rather than the other way around. -chazz
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52.
Clockingfl's "Know-It-All Newbie" type..
Clockingfl's co-worker type "know-it-all newbie" http://www.techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=29179 put me in mind of a secretary we had at the second place I worked here in BC.
This was a stretch where we were trying to replace a secretary who had walked. About the time I started, we also hired this bint who really did not know what she was doing. Now I was on the dev team, and she was admin side -- secretary and admin assistant -- so our paths did not cross much, but the roars of rage from front office every 15 minutes should have been an indication that she wasn't working out... and when the head cheese instructed her not to pick up the phone next time it rang, because she kept dropping lines when she was supposed to put them on hold, it should have been obvious to her that her days were numbered. But no, she said it was the phone system's fault... which was curious because she knew nobody else had any trouble with it.
Shortly after that, she got the sack, which is proof that there is sometimes justice in the world... and then she had the gall to come back, three days later, with her brother (it looked like) in tow, demanding compensation for dismissal because she had bought a new car on the strength of having this job, and now was not going to be able to keep up the payments.
The boss evidently told her the truth: she had been dismissed during the three-month trial period, and under law she had no recourse, so suck it up b!tch. Never saw her again...
[By: chazz]
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Comments
Ahh, justice. And scorched starfish. I love it. -teivrann
Is that blackened starfish or chicken-fried starfish?? ;) -snowcrash
Tar-Tar Starfish? -Bobsentme
EEWWWW! "Starfish tartare"? (sp) -snowcrash
Oh how I wished I could have seen this! Sounds hauntingly reminisant of MCB's whine when she lost her job about how'd she'd just brought a new house... -CommanderData
Oh how I wished I could have seen this! Sounds hauntingly reminisant of MCB's whine when she lost her job about how'd she'd just brought a new house... -CommanderData
Aha! It's just as easy to double post in Mozilla it would appear... -CommanderData
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53.
End of the laptop story... for now
Okay, I'm been harping on this one for a while, but I thought I should let the two people who were interested in this see how it all came out.
We're talking about a Toshiba Satellite with a P166 running Win98 GA (not even SE), with a serious heat problem between the PCMCIA slots and the HD. I think the VR that runs the battery charger is shot, which is no big deal because the battery is also shot and the owner has been running it off wall power for four years... but the PC card is too hot to touch when I pull it. And in that four years, the heat has eaten at least two modems.
This little gem was attached directly to a cable modem with no firewall, no antivirus, and limited English ability on the part of the starfish. Here are the totals:
F-Prot reported 6831 viruses, mostly Netsky.P, a lot of Bugbear.B, some Netsky.D.
Trend Micro Housecall detected 411 more instalces of Netsky.P, all in directories whose names were too long to allow them to be accessed in DOS.
Spybot Search and Destroy found 186 Spyware programs.
AdAware 6 found 166 more spyware programs, mostly tracking cookies, but including two IE helper DLLs that Spybot missed.
And I learned something about PC cards: many of them don't come up successfully from hibernation.
To be precise: this stupid Linksys card, after it has been put into hibernation, when it comes back up it will stall in the middle of a large packet and not recover. Start it from new, it's fine, you can surf, download, have a fine time. Let the system drop into hibernation, when it comes back you can deal with short packets (DHCP, DNS, some limited number of web sites) but most web sites are simply not going to work -- something messes up and the connection fails.
Well, anyway, starfish gets his computer back... I hope he appreciates it is all I can say. Oh, and I get lots of nice crisp cash.
[By: chazz]
Comment on Story
Comments
Interesting weakness in F-Prot. I never would have thought of that being an issue. I also have a LinkSys PC card in my Toshiba Tecra running 98SE, but I never let it go into hibernation. If you want, I can test that situation on mine to see if it does the same thing. Let me know if you do. -RiffRaff
I used to have a Tecra at work. Don't use hibernation. Just don't. -LaserGuru
Lynksys cards have troubles with hibernation? NAW! -DracoSuave
I have one of the newer satellites and half the time coming out of hibernation gives me BSOD's in win98. And, no it is not the pri. OS, XP is. I just use 98 for older DOS games. -lancasterjl
Have never used hibernation. Likely never will. Among the very first things I do on a fresh reinstall of XP is disable that. Saves me half a gig on my hard drive, too. -teivrann
What confused me on this one is that it is set to never hibernate. Seems that for whatever reason, the entry that launched power management was nuked out of the registry, and so the BIOS settings took it down after a while. When I changed the power settings in control panel, suddenly it stopped going into hibernation mode... but as I hadn't known it was doing that before, I wasn't really watching for it. -chazz
Is there not an option to disable power management for specific devices? Hibernation might over-rule that, but... -namor
On those directories with the impossible to delete names - use deltree. First part of directory name with an asterisk for the rest. Course 'deltree /y *.*' is always fun too! -ecoli
ecoli -- problem is, what if there is something in those directories that you still want? In this case, parts of the net card driver install image are in there. namor, yes, you can disable power management for PCI slots -- I just have to remember how -- but it seems to ne that if the Windows power control doesn't load, as it didn't on this machine, that any settings you make to the Windows power handling simply won't have any effect. And even if the PCI card does retain power, and I think it did in this case, what is it going to do with all the incoming network packets? It can prod the computer, but the computer is hibernating and won't answer. -chazz
he probably needs a better power supply, I've heard that you need a certain amount of power when coming out of hibernation (more power than simply booting up the computer). This is especially the case if it's a brand name computer, cause those big-wigs think that 150w-200w power supplies are sufficient. Which is why HP's and brand names alike like to go whacko when upgrading them. -LiQUidICicle
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54.
Poor little laptop...
You may recall I had a sick P166 laptop that I was trying to clean up? Well, it's not going to happen; I'm not even going to try an FFR on it. Thing is, when I pull the PC card, it's almost too hot to touch; seems the motherboard VR got partly fried, and the VR is right between the PC card slot and the hard drive, so the VR overheating ends up cooking both net card and HD. And the net card gets flaky as it heats up, and it simply stops working. It was OK last night, if sluggish, after W2Fix and an update of the card drivers; this morning it won't fetch HTML.
I just thought I should give you the final scores on it:
Viruses (F-Prot): 6831. Mostly two different NetSky variants and Bugbear. I would have run Housecall to see if there were any F-Prot missed, but with the problems getting onto the net I was unable.
Adware 1 (Spybot Search And Destroy): 186 items, mostly Gator and Hotbar.
Adware 2 (Ad-Aware 6): 166 items, including two Gator IE Helper DLLs that Spybot missed.
I would have run AdAware first, but for soe reason I couldn't download the updates file. I could with Spybot, so it was done first.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
Damn. That's a messed system. There's one laptop (some old Sharp P166) that I was trying to tech... the screen just gets garbled when you boot - but external monitor works fine. I'm a little hesitant to open up the LCD cover and check connections or anything, though... -namor
Sorry - what I *meant* was - kudos to you for that, I like the fact that it's fried in such a way that it stops working in only some specific facets after it's been going for a while. -namor
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55.
New record for viruses...
I think I've hit my personal record for viruses.
Little P166 laptop (Toshiba Satellite) running Win98 (not even SE), has gotten itself totally hooped (the owner was "cleaning things up" and somehow manmaged to mix 1998 and 2222 drivers in his network stack). I know he's been sending me viruses, so the first thing I do, before even booting Windows, is f-prot.
Files: 43007
MBRs: 1
Boot sectors: 1
Objects scanned: 41104
Infected: 6831
Suspicious: 1
Disinfected: 8
Deleted: 6821
Renamed: 0
Time: 528:36
I'm real glad I didn't decide to wait around for that one to finish...
And I know this thing is loaded with spyware -- this guy actually had the damned purple ape on there. Problem is that the IP stack is so hooped that I can't get AdAware or Spybot on there to check. I'm going to nuke the network stack, and if that doesn't get it working, I'll try a dirty reinstall... stay tuned, and I'll let you know the total tab on this one.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
You have more patience than me. I'd nuke and pave it for the viruses alone. Altogether now!!.. "F-Disk, format, Re-Install.. Doo Dah, Doo Dah".. -PsiDOC
***breaks into a Duet w/ PsiDoc*** F-Disk, format, Re-Install.. Ohh, Da Doo Dah, Dah".... ***while taking bows*** Thank You... You are so kind -duckhead
Chazz, burn the install files for AdAware and Spybot, plus any other diagnostic software you use regularly to a CD. It will save much frustration in situations like that. Good luck with this one. -RiffRaff
Got me beat on that count. And a CD with Spybot, etc, is good, but usually those need to be updated... if we're going for completeness, add the CAB files for the network stack for all Windows OS's (there's an MSKB with the specifics I believe), and the NT/2K/XP service packs, etc. -namor
Good comments... but. I don't want to FFR because this guy doesn't know what he has on here that he needs to keep. He may be about as starfishy as they come, but he is trying, in his limited way, to learn... and I don't want to discourage him too badly. Additionally, the OS locale is Croatia. (Keyboard indicator: Hr -- I have to keep changing it back to En.) And finally, I'm curious -- how much garbage is on here anyway? As for burning the distros of SpyBot, AdAware, and some Windows AV to CD, that's a start... but what about updates? I don't dare run either Spybot or AdAware without the latest update files, and for obvious reasons I won't connect a computer that is infected to my in-house network to get high-speed DL of patches and updates... then again, CDs are cheap. -chazz
You can download the adaware update as a file and then apply it to the program. I have to agree though, you have waaay more patience than I. The only way I'd do this is if it was a member of our board of director's PC. -scooby111
Anybody with that much crap on one computer not only deserves a nuke and pave, but they should be beaten severely and have the computer confiscated! -robbor
I work for a provider of a censored internet service and have to deal with a lot of teachers. Does having an airbag mean you can drive like a maniac? No! and having a filter does not mean 10 year olds should be left alone with the computer. I saw a study before that compared the average gpa and sat scores to the majors chosen in college the ones with lowest of both primarily went into two majors education and law enforcement. consider this just me rnating until I can refind the study and post a link. I live in a collge town with a good precentage of ed and le majors and the stuff they pull could fill a website. -knothere
knothere -- comment on wrong post? <grin> -chazz
Sounds like you are having more fun than humans should be allowed to have in a day. -THETECHFROMHELL
personal virus record = 72000+
another tech heres personal spyware record = 12777. -Feria
personal virus record = 72000+
another tech heres personal spyware record = 12777. -Feria
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56.
Now this one bothers me...
Not really a tech story, but...
Got a credit card application folded into one of the newspapers today, woop te do. Window envelope, peel off this fake card to see what prize you could win. The fake card is a flat piece of plastic, with a phone number on the front, no hologram, no embossed numbers, no mag stripe, no signature block, and thinner than a real card... and yet, the people shipping this thing out felt there was a need to print on the back of it,
This is not a real credit card.
Are the starfish so common out there that we need to be this obvious about what is and isn't a credit card? I fear for the human race...
[By: chazz]
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better yet: "this is a dramatization" remember that one, mostly during America's Most Wanted? the camera work was so bad it was obvious, and what crook or murderer would allow someone to film them in the act, anyway? -goblin69
Yep. Just ask Wonko the sane... -scooby111
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040310/D817IKG81.html -LaserGuru
A criminal mastermind at work...i love the part about the clerk: 'A clerk at the store immediately noticed the bill was fake'. Duh!! -QBC
BTW, I save those fake cards & use them to jimmy open plastic housings. No tool marks! -Tekkie
I keep getting fake Discover CC's in the mail like that. It almost looks real, with a realish CC#, and an embosed name of "J L WEBB" (not my name). However there isn't any 'fake' label on it. I usually tear the application in half and casually 'lose' the card somewhere. I can picture some greedy loser picking up the card and trying to figure out how to use it. -Tolvor
Breaking news: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040311/D8185RP80.html -LaserGuru
Breaking news: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040311/D8185RP80.html -LaserGuru
LG Are you trying to fraud us? -Dr Jerkyl
She does have a point, it *is* hard to keep up with the US Treasury (BFEG) -Answerboy
Yes Mam, you can have change for your million dollar bill, but it must be in quarters . . . . -robbor
Speaking of "dramatization" type disclaimers, there's a Volvo ad out right now that shows the car in a videogame or a representation of one. During one particularly dangerous driving scene there's a caption: "Animated driver on animated course." :) -Jay911
back when Social Security numbers were new, a wallet co. included a copy of a secretary's SS card in the spiffy see-thru pocket - thousands of people used that SS# for years -satanstech
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57.
Should be a link but...
links and soapboxes have far too short a life for what I consider a reason for never again recommending Dell.
http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/12/03/0257238&mode=nocomment&tid=126&tid=172&tid=187&tid=98&tid=99
According to this article, Dell has instructed its techs to refuse requests from end users for instructions on removing spyware from their computers. Dell techs have been instructed to refer these questions to the users' ISPs. Thus starting a major round of finger-pointing...
[By: chazz]
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Comments
I maintain the philosophy that bell should be sucking my **** -RCNitro
*Dell... Though Bell should too... Bastard phone company! -RCNitro
Really makes you wonder just how much money Dell is getting from Gator, Bonzi etc. -Calydor
Whoaaaa. I haven't seen such an email. I still recommend people remove it. I just can't tell them which program to use or help them remove it. It is software that we did not install. It is not for us to remove it or to support it. Only way I remove it is nuke and pave. -Wolffarmer
...it's the same for us. Spyware, antivirus and f/w's and 3rd party routers are not supported by us. In fact if we give ANY instuction or recomendation on any unsupported products now, we run the risk of a very low score from the Crimson QA. -leonine
Since when did it become the OEMs job to support every stupid fark-up the EU makes. I've done ISP support, as such, I wouldn't have touched any software that wasn't the ISPs, either. The end user will just have to learn at some point to take responsibility and go hire someone for that kind of help, if they are in fact to stupid to look it up on the net for themselves. Hopefully, when enough of them have gotten tired enough of that kind of BS, someone will put a stop to the crap flooding onto computers unwanted/unneeded -obie099
The isp I work for has our own spyware removal tool.. not to give away who I work for. -STJ
We can refer people to AdAware and Spybot to remove spyware, and I have, on occasion, walked people through registry entries to remove spyware. As usual, how much assistance I give them depends entirely upon their attitude. -RiffRaff
I agree with RiffRaff. The amount I am willing to help is directly proportional with how much the customer is willing to work with me -crackshot
I usually give 'em Spybot and AdAware -RCNitro
Point being, guys, that the way Windows ships, it is wide open for spyware and adware to install itself on your machine, without your knowledge; and Dell is evidently saying now that it is the ISP's problem, when as any fool can plainly see it is Microsoft's defaults that cause this problem to be so severe. And because Dell is shipping OEM Windows, they are contractually obligated to do the Windows support. Be that as it may: fact is that Dell is now saying that its agents can't even suggest useful places to go to get removal tools. I suppose this is more of a heads-up to our ISP brethren than anything else; you are going to start getting a buttload of Dell referrals for adware. -chazz
obie, obie, obie.. now I would have believed that coming from a newb. By now you should know that ISP support means fixing everything on the computer, their toaster, their VCR, their alarm clock, and their kid's low math scores. For shame... -Shai
(thud) Oh this is gonna be fun... I am not looking forward to this.
-Warrick
Updated buisness cards. Next printing will also list spyware removal as one of my services... $25/hour onsite or $20 flat if you bring the machine to my office... -garwain
I have two opinions on this. First, it's not an hardware issue, it's software so yes, it's not Dell's issue. However, Dell via thier advertising campaigns encourages "starfishism" I refer you to thier current promotion (boot camp tv spot). "Don't worry about gig-a-this or mega-that". If you are going to encourage ignorance, you should be liable for the result. -Zentar
I have a form mail that I typed up many moons ago that I bounce to people with spyware problems. However, in the article doesn't it state that they don't help them remove the spyware because the systems COME with spy/adware already installed on them? Urgh. Friends don't let friends buy pre-built. -miharu
Unfortunately, now the ISP i work outsource for has a spyware/adware remover program available, so I do have to tech the issue if they have our spyware...erm, software. -ThreeBucks
So AOL is going to be getting a lot more calls then -RTFM
um, I have never been given a directive like that. we can't endorse one prog over another, and for the sake of my aht, I usually tell them to go to google and do a search for spyware removal. ... as for Dell factory installing spyware, they sure do! it's called Windows. -KuroTaka
First off, this is just the beginning of the downward spiral that will end with no one supporting shit! Second, in my office it is a running joke that we will prescribe AD-aware for anything from pop-ups and spyware to headaches and knee injuries. -ArnaldTPants
Shai, Shai, Shai... You know as well as I do that ISP "support" means "how fast can you schwing this call". Look it up. -obie099
oh, and BTW, if anyone wants to stop having spyware show up on their computers should probably stop installing anything labled "free software" from the internet. "There is no such thing as a free lunch" has never been truer. I don't even trust Ad-Aware since it is being distributed for free. Who's paying to develope it? I've never met anyone, let alone a coder worth anything, who would work for free. -obie099
Well, you know how it can be.. spend a few months away and somehow you manage to forget it all.. -Shai
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58.
It's not just (l)users, either...
This happened to an associate of mine, effectively my acting PFY.
Joe Luser, the PFY's brother, bought a wireless router(D-Link DI-714P+) recently. He could connect via the hardwired LAN ports, but not wireless. So, he called in a "computer specialist" to have it looked at.
The Starfish Tech came in and took the computer back to his shop. When it came back, $60 later, it couldn't connect via the hardwired LAN ports either. Starfish Tech recommended a fresh install of WinME at $200 (for labour only).
At this point Joe Luser asked the PFY to take a look at it. PFY found that the wireless wasn't working because the wireless card is trying to connect to the wrong
SSID.
For what it's worth, Starfish Tech works for a company in the interior of BC... if you're in that part of the country and need to know who to avoid, leave a message.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
I need to know. I'm in B.C. -samurai
I've got relatives in BC.. :) -Warrick
i hav relatives in washington... which is near BC. ;) -mousie
I'm in Indiana, and I don't have any family anywhere near BC, but I wanna know anyway so I can send him a copy of this post. <eg> -RiffRaff
I don't get it, how can you guys live in a comic strip? -Bioguy
The guy who writes UserFriendly lives in BC, too... is that a circular reference? -chazz
Yes, it is. I live in Washington and usually find it best to avoid BC all together. :p -scooby111
I am in the same place as Samurai... I'm watching u! -Talon66
I live in Australia, but I have relatives on Vancouver Island. Should I be worried? -robbor
</starfish> bc? i have a cousin in arizona </starfish> :) -GefahrMaus
No, Robbor. This is up near Prince George on the mainland. While I'm sure there are lots of starfish-techs on the Island, just as there are everywhere, your relatives don't have to be worried about this one at least... -chazz
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60.
TechTales updated
That other site, TechTales, has updated... two months worth, finally. Part of the reason we prefer this site is that the updates are instant... TechTales is like watching paint dry, sometimes.
[By: chazz]
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Comments
And you can't post comments there, either.
Very annoying. -TechnoVampire
well good... Now I have reading material for the rest of the day. I much prefer the content here though... -garwain
And how many 'cupholder' stories are there. Sorry. Their stories always seem kinda lame and full of urban myth. -scooby111
A website by any other domain is... well, a different website. -WildKard
I think there are three cupholder stories this update. There are some good stories on that site; for instance, our own Commander Data posted a couple there a few months back. OTOH, I'm glad to see that she's posting here instead now, because that way we get to read her stories sooner. In this era of instant communications, who wants to wait two and a half months for a web site update? -chazz
What can I say? I was young and inexperienced. But now having discovered that a) TSC doesn't have those farking urban myths b) TSC is updated more and you can comment on stuff and c) Well, TSC is just BETTER I'm staying here folks. The DBA and her BFG9000 are not easy to get rid of..... -CommanderData
Um, tech what? -obie099
CD, the point was not that you were mistaken in posting there; it was that despite their flaws, there were some good stories posted there. Holding your stories there up as a good example, rather than holding the site up as a mistake that CD made. <grin> -chazz
I don't mind either way mate! Still not posting there agin though...not after that story a couple of months ago from the '13 year old Mac expert who has been using Macs for a decade' ranting about how he couldn't get his TS for free despite the fact he was out of warranty. How I WISH I could have commented on that one. -CommanderData
Yeah, I do get tired of reading about broken cup holders, but hey, it wastes a good part of a workday... -garwain
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61.
Can even happen to techs...
Yes, we too can miss the obvious. Conversation with a fellow TSC member:
My computer gets as far as the login screen then powers down. If I plug it directly into the wall, it works fine.
Replaced the surge suppressor?
Yep, it still does the same thing.
Okay, there's obviously some power trouble. Maybe the PSU needs to be replaced... house power is OK where you are?
Yes.
Okay, we'll order you a new power supply.
There was a grow-op in the upstairs apartment; would that have anything to do with it?
Umm... well, yeah -- they have like lots of lights and usually bridge the meter and suck major power so you likely have a continual brown-out in your apartment. Thought of calling the cops?
Oh, they were busted a while back.
Okay, so let's try it plugged into the surge suppressor again, shall we?
If it were me, of course, I'd have slung a voltmeter on the powerline so fast it woud have made your head swim....
[By: chazz]
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Comments
OMFG!, I wouldnt even risk my multimeter. -Digital Dogcow
And what's the error code your browser is giving you? 420 - Can't Remember Where The Page Is -Mushroom
like wow man... Talked with the man this morning, and have to clear up a couple of things. He didn't realize there was a grow-op upstairs when his computer started flaking out, a month ago... didn't realize it until they got busted. And now that the grow-op is gone, his power is back to normal, and he can plug the computer into his surge suppressor again. He's in one unit of an 85-unit condo, and the grow-op was immediately above him and running off the same feeder... -chazz
Mushroom - can i use that on my personal web server for 404's??? -DedSysOp
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62.
Spoke too soon (praise the deity)
http://www.bash.org is back up again. Looks like they lost a little content, but all the good stuff is there.2002-10-30
[By: chazz]
Comment on Story
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63.
Another moment of silence, please...
Seems the quotes database at www.bash.org / www.unixfu.org / www.vulnerable.org has closed its doors as well. Alas, it will be missed...2002-10-22
[By: chazz]
Comment on Story
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Customer Misconceptions
Tech Rules
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1.
Open wireless access is not plausible deniability.
Slashdot story today: http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/04/23/1431211 says that a Texas court has ruled that having an open wireless access point is not defence against underage pr0n charges. And in fact, law enforcement could now see an open access point as probable cause.
Reason I feel this worthy of mention? I recall at least one person here said that they were running their WAP wide open and their home network locked down, so as to have plausible deniability. I don't want to see a fellow tech hassled.
[2007-04-23]
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Customer Types
Co-Worker Types
Customer E-mails
1.
Subject: more watch spam
Subject line: "You are what you wear." So if you want me to buy a fake to wear, what are you saying about me?
[2008-10-14]
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2.
Subject: Today's spam sender
Yes, I know, we're all tired of the excesses of the spam senders, but this was just so appropriate that I had to post it...
From: "Cynthia Newell" <Annahempstarfish@commondreams.org>
Subject: (electron shrunk starfish ;)
Anna hemp starfish? Hmm.
[2007-06-14]
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3.
Subject: Spam of the day
Now and then, a pork chop eagerly shares a shower with the tuba player living with a customer. A plaintiff completely seeks a polar bear. A movie theater shares a shower with a chestnut. An eggplant gives a pink slip to the tuba player. For example, a single-handledly impromptu bullfrog indicates that a class action suit beyond another burglar somewhat avoids contact with an ocean.
Furthermore, a recliner prays, and the blithe spirit related to some tabloid bestows great honor upon another senator toward a chess board. Another cloud formation over a minivan sanitizes the bullfrog. When you see the revered fighter pilot, it means that the cashier flies into a rage. The earring buries a moronic deficit. A roller coaster of a cowboy shares a shower with a mastadon. Now and then, a pork chop eagerly shares a shower with the tuba player living with a customer. A plaintiff completely seeks a polar bear. A movie theater shares a shower with a chestnut. An eggplant gives a pink slip to the tuba player. For example, a single-handledly impromptu bullfrog indicates that a class action suit beyond another burglar somewhat avoids contact with an ocean.
Most people believe that a sheriff near a buzzard makes a truce with the spider about another grain of sand, but they need to remember how knowingly a dust bunny daydreams. The lover defined by another hole puncher secretly finds subtle faults with a psychotic sheriff. The familiar vacuum cleaner negotiates a prenuptial agreement with the green dust bunny. Indeed, the barely highly paid salad dressing non-chalantly borrows money from the impromptu CEO. The industrial complex inside an eggplant trades baseball cards with a secretly annoying paycheck.
Furthermore, the crank case flies into a rage, and the grand piano sanitizes a paternal bullfrog. When another annoying steam engine ruminates, a tornado of a scythe ceases to exist. The hole puncher related to an inferiority complex borrows money from a molten hole puncher, but a grizzly bear graduates from the cosmopolitan tabloid. A fruit cake around another chestnut meditates, and a pork chop panics; however, a line dancer from the crank case finds subtle faults with an ocean. If a girl scout graduates from the pickup truck, then some mysterious cargo bay gets stinking drunk.
------------------------------------------
Yeah, I know it's just trying to avoid Bayesian spam filters, but the stream-of-consciousness is just lovely...
[2006-10-26]
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4.
Subject: {Spam?} m3herron
ALERT:
---
Voted #1 Online Casino - 320% Signup Bonus
Limited Bonus Offer
---
[advertisement garbage removed]
[spamvertised site excised]
brain polish
That's what I needs, some o' that there brain polish. Nice shiny brain, even better than a bleached one.
[2006-10-12]
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5.
Subject: Inexpensive Microsoft programs.deceitful
I kid you not: that was the subject of the spam I just got. Like that's really going to make me want to buy their pirated software...
[2006-08-19]
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6.
Subject: And make as flatulence speak
That's the subject of a spam I just got... and this is supposed to make me want to open the message why?
[2006-07-17]
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7.
Subject: generic pharma spam header
generic porn spam
What is with this? I'm getting twenty or more spams a day now, all from the same set of places, advertising porn, but using headers that I associate with pharmaceutical spam (e.g. "Our stoer is yur cureal!") Is this spam relay simply pulling headers at random from the PC it's running on? And if so, do so many *fish actually hang on to pharma spam? Jeez...
[2006-06-05]
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8.
Subject: Spam Subject of the Day
"We use it as an enhancer in the bedroom. belch" Would that be Paging Burrkiss, or Paging CD?
[2006-01-15]
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9.
Subject: Spam of the day
The usual mortgage spam, but the word substitution randomizer is seriously broken.
Dear Home Owner,
After culmination of the audit we are delighted to provide to you this espousal, Espousal? I suppose that is a synonym for "proposal", but sir, I hardly know you!
Your current mortgage meets the criteria to get more than a 3.7 deflated amount! Deflated? Paging Burrkiss...
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!! GETTING THE LOWEST RATES IN THE US HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER !!
of course, I'm in Canada...
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Thousands of Your fellow neighbours have re-financed this month alone! first I knew I had thousands of naighbours.
So why not you?
Go HERE to make that change.
If you prefer to be left out of this superfluous offer Really good word choice there... go here.
[2005-10-12]
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10.
Subject: actually not customers but spam... again
Just got two pieces of pump&dump stock scam mail. Headline: "The Bullish Report". Sounds like a typo to me...
[2005-06-02]
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11.
Subject: not really customers but spam...
Latest gimmick is to add interstitial words to foil the spam filters and then make them either smaller or invisible. Sometimes the results are... interesting. Two Viagra spams I got today: "My boyfriend began having problems (distractingly in the morning breeze.) with erections" Hmm. "My boyfriend (plundering thieves.) began having problems" ... More hmm. Sounds like a job for Burrkiss...
[2005-05-30]
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12.
Subject: Hi from Monti!
Hi Charly !
JOU CAN SIE I GET NEW ADRES VITH xxxx CABL, BAT IAM NOT EPI VITH ISTALETION.
SOM HAU VORKS OLY ONE VINDO BATH NIT ORIGINAL AND I KEN NOT OPRN EVRITING I
UANET. OLSO I AM USING Natwork Catd PCs FA 410 TXC -
Main risans I vend veth tem, I dont okupayd Telephon any mor. For $ 3.00 per
Month more. No mor baging forom may bas hee nide lin to cal sans and frends.
Enivay CARLY somday som hau You mat pas bay ond instal this sistem for mi
properly. I no from bifor daar not Teknikal vork for avrbadi, list I dont
bilivet, Tenks kud work bat I no ds not properly. I vid tel Brden to triet
to istal bat I ave CARLY daut. May slf, nono. Col dem bek, nono. Tel Steve
gos sem. If I am in JOU skul or vith JOU 30 days I thenk I vil not nide elp
from dos Profesionals. Bat I am epy for may dids on my so fare.
Retmatik for Horce Race is impruv 50% - Sabject if day dasant ad on mor HACE.
I vil be on ansovet APRIL 65 Vil bi nays present for avribady if I pruv dar
posibil get paid and fan. You vil be sekund to no.
Thenk You CARLY for avriting for pass and fuchoor.
Printer Works Exilent, This CARD I Pay $30.00 no tax.
London Drugstor charge $95.oo + tax.
[2003-03-10]
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EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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1.
Actually from a fake-watch spam: the link pointed to netshyte dot com.
[2008-10-10]
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2.
NOTD (though, granted, it's a "spam sender" so not likely to be real): Mohammed Farley
[2007-11-27]
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3.
Actually: spam message randon text of the day: "Mel brooks, bronx, actress (graduate), born lion movies first kind of animal heard in the mgm film limp bizkit music which band released the album 'chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavoured water'?" Rather impressive for what must be a Dissociated Press script...
[2005-03-02]
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