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Here is all the content that frprinterwiz has contributed
to Tech Support Comedy. Tech Stories
1.
I hate ghosts
I hate when I think something is all sorted out and fixed months ago, deleted all the emails and notes about it only to get an email going - ya - this still isn't right and since you had your fingers all over this 4 months ago I'm dropping it back in your lap. Even better is that I am alone (when normally there is 3 to 4 of us) for today and tomorrow so no chance I can dedicate any time to resolving it. So I typed up a list of what we can do to try and sort it out and sent the ticket back saying you deal with it. Why did I wait till August to schedule my vacation????
[By: frprinterwiz]
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make them open a new call, give it a new ref and all, I guess your SLA will fit that <EG>. -Jax
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2.
Finally but no..grr
Today was supposed to be my day to play with pc parts. Got an older system in I was gonna set up, over clock and play with. All I need is some thermal paste..all out. Can I go get more - no. Snowstorm, school cancelled so Gigglebyte is home. So no pc playing for me :(
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Got any zinc oxide laying around in your sun screen drawer? - Stryker One
No. No. No, no, no, no. StrykerOne, what are you trying to do here? Zinc oxide sunscreen has a lanolin base, and will all run away, carrying the zinc oxide with it, if you try to use it this way. -chazz
ya, there isn't really a substitute for thermal paste. -frprinterwiz
Not even spit? -FuzzyElf
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3.
Happy Turkey Day
to all my fellow Canadian TSCers. Hope you got to sit on your butt at home pigging out on good eats while you got paid!! Just wanted to pop in to say how grateful I was for this site helping me keep my sanity!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Plenty welcome! Happy to entertain! -KrazerKap
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4.
Mom of the Year - Semi Tech related
Gigglebyte started kindergarten this year so his Daddy and I worked on him knowing what we do for a living. Daddy is a maintenance worker and tattoo artist and Mommy does Tech Support. Was all great until we were watching Futurama and Bender called tech support and they sent out robots to kill him. My son turns to me and asks me (with big eyes of wonder and breathless excitement in his voice) Mommy - is that what you get to do at work all day? Was so tempted to tell him yes LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
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"Sir, we've classified you as a priority one problem. Please assume the party escort submission position and a party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party." -NightSteel
ok Gigglebyte is an awesome nickname for a kid. -Icelator
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5.
I so want one
even if it means surgery to get it....
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/moodinq-tattoo.shtml
[By: frprinterwiz]
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and ya I know, but it would be so awesome. -frprinterwiz
"Is your girlfriend's name Wendy also?", "No mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Nice Day'".
-AngrySup
check date of press release (or try to buy one) :) -madonnac
hmmm but only black? and doesnt include the price of the plastic surgery implant... I'll keeop my perma tats TVM - just need to make sure they can all be covered with a t shirt. -Harm
@madonnac - Yeah, I was thinking that particular item was out of their looflirpa directory... -RDMcMains
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6.
Happy Towel Day
I have mine. And so does my boss which is one of the reasons I love my job :)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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damn!! i may have to heavily modify a face flannel on the fly! -Harm
I wore mine as a cravat, only marginally uncomfortable. The guy at the supermarket checkout on the way home wished me a happy towel day. -Bloke
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7.
Whoa
When did the logo picture change on the main page?
[By: frprinterwiz]
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It must have changed today, I didn't notice it yesterday. -Gunpe
I saw it yesterday, actually, late in the day. I think Hawk must have tweaked it when he got home from work... I hope he gets around to tweaking some other things on the site that have been bugging me. -chazz
I hope Hawk tweeks my nipples..........again. -burrkiss
I just noticed it, too. Gonna take a bit of getting used to... -Captain Trips
Exactly. I mean, the guy's smiling. What's with that? -Voz
We're always reminded to smile on the phone, even if we don't mean it. It can be heard on the other end. (The position of the mouth does affect the timbre of the voice.) So we force the fake smile. I'm sure that's what he's doing, too. -Captain Trips
Or drugs. I am going with drugs. -DarkRookie
I also vote medication of some kind. -AmazingKreskin
It's a little scary, that smile. -ManyHats
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8.
when work takes over your life
you begin to dream about it. Waking up screaming that QPSK modulation is bad, very bad!!! makes hubby avoid you until your second cup of coffee has been consumed. (I was dreaming that one of my company's many kinds of outdoor modems was behaving like a dog and I was trying to train it)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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This would possibly indicate that old-fashioned QAM is a cat.... -Grue
great now I am going to go home and dream about QAT's in multiples of 16....meow meow -frprinterwiz
Cat o' 6e, or is that to modern? -LDFeral
I wonder if we can petition a law where if you dream about work, you should get paid overtime. -Biosynthetic
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9.
RIP ANIKF2
all communications were lost to the satellite today. It's been over 4 hours and so far the only thing Telesat is saying is that it's working on it. No ETA on a resolve, just call us back in 4 hours. Meanwhile since we provide internet using that bird to one heck of a lot of clients (and many remote locations where the satellite is their only means to communicate with the outside world) call volume is insane. Thankfully I don't normally speak with customers directly and the installers and dealers that do call are for the most part having a good sense of humour over the outage. I just get a bad feeling that communication is lost for good, because in previous outages Telesat has always known what caused the outage within a couple hours and had an ETA and a description of how they were gonna fix it. (oh and this bird also does tv, ATM'S, radio, phones, etc... are you being hit by this as well?)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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"We lost the bird sir!" LT: "Why were you keeping one?" -ravensentinel
hmm Telesat has no clue? thats no good.. even with all the new dishes they installed in the last coulpe years? the very LEast they could have done is flip through the BOFH excuse book and find Solar Flair activity -Harm
Solar Flair? is it faaaaaaaaabulous? -metaball
According to OBJ: "The good news in all of this it's not a lost satellite; (Telesat) tells us they were communicating with it," said Emily Younker, a spokesperson for Northwestel, the sole provider for Internet and data and the main provider for phone services.
"They did not give a cause or an (estimate) of repair time," she added, but said Telesat has been in regular contact with Northwestel to provide updates. -Griffin2020
Maybe that satellite was really Steve Jobs...
-Griffin2020
it's facing away from the earth, this is a safety feature built in to protect it from increased solar activity and at 6am EST this morning there was a major coronal event causing massive Northern Lights. 12-18 hours to get the satellite turned around. -frprinterwiz
just finally getting explanations about what is causing the outage -frprinterwiz
Called it. -Harm
and apparently now on /. http://slashdot.org/story/11/10/06/1533200/Satellite-Glitch-Leaves-Northern-Canada-In-the-Internet-Dark guessing one of us put that up? -Harm
@metaball: it's doing the twirl right now...... <hides in the LART shelter to avoid falling debris> -Enzedder
Somebody needs to LART the sat... or maybe SART the sat -Spyder19
We had an outage about this one since we rely on it for tv in some remote areas in Ontario. First outage I've ever seen that relates to a satellite issue! -desseb
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10.
Thanks Irene
While we can normally hit 100 service requests in a day easy, thanks to Irene we were at 100 by 10 am this morning, this is on top of the tornados that ripped through Ontario last week that our tech's are just starting to repair. Our busy time was supposed to peak in July, looks like we get to ride it out until September. Well, I wanted to dive in head first in my new position, just didn't realize there would be a tidal wave when I did LOL (ps - thanks for all the karma that got me here though, I may whine a little from time to time but I really am loving my new job)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I was working yesterday and after 5pm I kept getting outage after outage from all over in Quebec, it was pretty crazy. -desseb
So, how many people calling to scream about their Internet being down, never mind the a power being out in the entire area? -Stryker One
Congrats on the post, and good luck with the volume. -virusjtg
Come on Irene!! -PoglaTheGrate
Yea, after having met her, I had planned to let you Canuks know about what you were in for, but, I was kinda occupied at the time -Spyder19
In the great East-coast blackout about 8 years back, I worked for a pharmacy benefit company (mail order meds). A lot of folks need to refrigerate their meds. It was the only time in my tech carer that lives were literally on the line. -AngrySup
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12.
For all the other Mom's out there
Happy Mother's Day! I got treated to dinner out last night (all you could eat crab legs...yummy!), flowers and chocolates, although the best gift by far is the one I enjoy everyday..my little Gigglebyte! Who is still amazing us with the computer skills he is picking up including the fact that he understands that changing file names can break the computer...now he yells at me if he sees me changing a file name LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Funny, I grew up with computers which *couldn't* be broken that way - because the OS was entirely in ROM. It even said in the manual: "Go ahead, press any keys you like - you can't hurt the computer." Modern PCs are very fragile in comparison. -Chromatix
Happy Mother's Day to ya! -Grue
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15.
so need this book
to read to Jr!!
http://babies.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/02/25/funny-kids-pictures-good-question-kids/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I so need that book to read to my users. "Because I can protect it at home better than your multimillion dollar business can." -ravensentinel
When daddy loves mommy very much... AHAHAHA! -LDFeral
OMG that hurt so much from trying not to break out laughing. That's too funny, cute too but... -spectreoflife
Wow.. just... no words to describe. To add to it: this quote from the description in Amazon: Tom O'Connor, PhD., LMFT, has devoted his therapy practice to helping families grow and change as the world changes ever so swiftly around them. He first gained prominence in the '80s with his pioneering work on electric pencil sharpeners in the home. "Mommy" is his eighty-seventh book. -MisterCommon
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18.
Which one of our parties was this?
http://thereifixedit.com/2010/06/01/epic-kludge-photo-meanwhile-in-the-it-department/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I posted a link to this in a comment for an earlier story. -AussieFoot
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19.
you know it's going to be a long day
when not even past the first hour of a 10 hour shift you are already playing solitaire after having gone through all of your other time wasting links. Of course around 4:35pm EST our lines will probably be jammed solid as everybody wants to watch the hockey game online. So happy my hour long lunch starts at 4!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Wow, they let you play solitaire? My first job I was informed if I was ever seen playing cards I'd be immediately escorted out of the building... -AnneBWalsh
Square Enix released Final Fantasy for the iPhone recently. There goes my productivity.... -YourLastHope
Don't feel bad. They just slammed down the web blockers last week, and now we can't even get to the sites we need for troubleshooting, let alone the ones that help us maintain a grip and keep from going postal! -EMTGeekGirl
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20.
what's been going on
Well as some of you recall I dragged my family halfway across the country for a new life and went from being a printer tech to an internet tech. Still doing level one stuff but training for level 2 starts in less than two weeks!!! Some of the random stuff I have been through in this job, educating someone that MSN messenger can not be used as a browser to access our webmail, helping an old lady learn to copy and paste so that we could email an attachment just to have the last thing she tells me is "how much easier it will be to sort all her files now", have been threatened to have a herd of bears sent through the front door, told that I have a very sexy voice, been prayed for because I was so kind, and the list continues to grow. Thank goodness I have managed to wrack up a few vacation and lieu days and will have some nice short weeks coming up for the next bit. Internet customers are way loonier than printer customers any day!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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That's because printer customers are focussed on a single piece of technology. Internet wackos have access to far more insanity with far less restraint. -TieDyedDinosaur
Glad its all working out for you. Thats the East coast, right? St. Ream? -ThinTheHerd
So what are you going to do when they ask you to fix a printer connected to their computer? -MisterCommon
soooo.... you have a very sexy voice...... er.... uhm..... what are you wearing? <panting> -TheGhost
did internet for 7 years.... loony is about right.. you WILL get at LEAST one certfied Tinfoil hatter. its hard to A not laugh B get them off the damned phone and C nt feel some kinda pitty for them... unless things turn racist. -Harm
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21.
Happy Thanksgiving
For all us Canadians - Happy Turkey day! Hope you aren't working while reading this, since unfortunately I'm posting this from work.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends -THETECHFROMHELL
Happy Thanksgiving day to Canadians. it's Columbas Day here in the States. The Government is off and all of us where I work are working - if you don't remember, i do tech support for the US Navy. -compbrat
Yup, and all us non-government employees are workin', too. ('cept me, but I just got off work 30 minutes ago...) -MadJack
many moons ago...I went hiking in the Adirondacks (Algonquin) on Columbus Day (US). Got to the top, the foliage in the valley was SPECTACULAR (think Mother Nature on acid), but it was cloudy & snowing a bit at the top. Many Canadians were there too, since they had Independence Day (CA) off. -CTYankee
Us Hosers aren't independent, or weren't until recently; we don't have an Independence Day, closest we get is Canada Day (1 July). But as was mentioned, in the Great White North, today (second Monday in October) is Thanksgiving. -chazz
Chazz: http://www.youhoser.com/mp3/BnD-TakeOffGreatWhiteNorth.mp3 :P For the rest of ya ... http://www.youhoser.com/ -Necros
Too bad we missed Leif Erikson Day on October 9th. You remember him, his people beat Columbus to North America by about 500 years. But, Leif still came in second. -LordObsidian
I'd like to be at work.. but all govment offices are closed.. soo day off w/o pay for me :( -Harm
Happy Thanksgiving to all the Canuckians! -Grue
I'm happy to be working today, 2.5x my normal hourly rate! -desseb
And today was the day we down here celebrate someone who couldn't navigate his way out of a brown paper bag, thought the world was less than half it's true size, and was a genocidal mass murderer. -Captain Trips
Considering you just described the general populace of the time Capt. Trips, I'd say he did pretty good to atleast figure out it was round. -LazyLemming
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23.
It's whacko Wednesday!!
1 - it's our fault her computer boots up to a hard drive not found error. And because her PC won't turn on she wants a 3 month credit on her internet account because this has been happening for weeks. HAHAHAHAHA 2. I'm 6 months behind and owe lots of money so now that you have actually stopped my service I will pay you half of my bill today and promise to pay half in 60 days to keep my service. The kicker is you have to take the money from my credit card RIGHT NOW or it won't be there because another bill is going through tonight that I don't care about bouncing...not going to happen LOL!! 3 - We can negotiate our set prices because you don't feel like paying what we ask! Still saved him money but locked him into a nice long contract BHAUAUAUHAHA and 4 - the suctomer who doesn't care about how much he is paying monthly or how much it will cost him to move his equipment and then I find out he is being double billed for the past few months - sorry but I think I would notice if my bill was suddenly 2x as much as before!! (yes I fixed it). I know it's not a full moon today, I think all the rain Canada has had has waterlogged the suctomers brains!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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God, you've got some seriously stupid fishies. Here, have some ammo. You'll need it -AdmiralLaurie
They've created a special circle of Hell just for Marshall Fields, the father of the phrase "The customer is always right". -Biosynthetic
Back when I worked for $ISP I had calls like those at least once a week. It's been two years since I worked there and I still haven't been able to brain bleach my memories from that lovely job experience. -cert2b
Biosynthetic, so it was MARSHALL FIELDS I owe that @$$-kicking to. (I never knew that) -udoshan
"You better do something, you idiot, because in ten minutes you're going to have two hundred tons of locomotive smashing through Central Station on its way to Marshall Field's!" </obligatory Silver Streak> -MadJack
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24.
brain melting
I thought these suctomers were a myth but it's true. They can't access one particular website so they call their ISP and yell at me. Dude, not my problem!! DIAF!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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And they probably misspelled the site name anyway! -TieDyedDinosaur
You mean there are other reasons for a *fish not to reach their chosen site? -VFox
Hey, frprinterwiz, I am having trouble reaching techcomedy.com today. No, all the other sites I visit seem to be fine, but TSC is slow. Fix it! -chazz
(No, I'm not running. I'll stand and take my LARTing... I deserve it.) -chazz
Customers Macbook in for repair and says that Safari is missing and won't connect to the internet. Safari in the dock (CHECK), Safari opens (CHECK), http://mac/ as the homepage (yup, won't resolve, can't imagine why). -spectreoflife
*sighs* Customer homepage set as h.t.t.p://mac/ (hopefully this will show now) -spectreoflife
Strange... I get:
You are not authorized to view this page
The Web server you are attempting to reach has a list of IP addresses that are not allowed to access the Web site, and the IP address of your browsing computer is on this list.
Please try the following:
* Contact the Web site administrator if you believe you should be able to view this directory or page.
HTTP Error 403.6 - Forbidden: IP address of the client has been rejected.
Internet Information Services (IIS)
-VWFtech
First time I clicked on that link, I got a MobileMe login page. Subsequent clicks on that link give a server not found error. -linuxmatt
"Mack! Hey, Mack!" <Lighning McQueen> -Divinar
"I ain't no Mack! I'm a Peterbilt!" </Pete> -Captain Trips
From a CW. SF: "The Internet is not working. I opened Internet Explorer and the page is not there." CW: "Have you tried any other webpages?" SF: "What other webpages? www.isphomepage.com IS the Internet! You don't know anything, let me talk to somebody else." -LordObsidian
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26.
Still alive and thinking of you guys
Life is good, doing a cross country move soon so may be offline for awhile. Wanted to share this with you all! http://www.ninjapirate.com/newcomputer.html Have a good one!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Where you heading? The local TSC chapter will need to know where to send the good luck/moving karma (G) -MadJack
Awesome link lol. Have a safe trip! -Forte
Loved the link. And I *was* wondering if you'd bailed on us, ex-neighbour. Have a safe and uneventful move. -ThinTheHerd
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28.
Lesson learned - Semi tech story
Hubby was ever so nice and got up with Gigglebyte this morning at 6:30am. Hubby was not as attentive as he should have been while Gigglebyte was playing. Gigglebyte climbed on a chair and got Mommy's new lightscribe DVD's and spread them on the floor and was dancing on them by the time I realized what the sounds I was hearing meant. At least half if not more of the spindle is toast because he just had to dance on them data side down. Lessons learned - don't underestimate the ability of an 18 month old when they see shiny!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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ooooooh - shiney! -ecoli
Don't throw out those discs! Now that she has "coastered" them, keep them around so that she can play with them instead of destroying more. It's obvious that she wants to play with the same toys as you do, so having a set for her is a good thing. -docbrown01
Oh, he knew exactly what Gigglebyte was doing. He just wanted to make sure you'd never ask daddy to get up a 6am to watch Gigglebyte EVER AGAIN. -veaudaux
sounds like Gigglebyte was testing mommys backup data plan -neuman1812
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29.
Something to giggle over
Sorry, I haven't had much time lately to be around. things are better though, sorted out daycare with Jr, learning about servers, taken on the role of developing training material at work and all the rest that life has thrown at me lately. But here's something to giggle at so you don't all hate me LOL http://www.rathergood.com/cake/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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That made my eyes hurt... -unrenowned
I have to agree, unrenowned that did make my eyes hurt as well.... funny though.
-NerfHerder
I have to agree, unrenowned that did make my eyes hurt as well.... funny though.
-NerfHerder
I have to agree, unrenowned that did make my eyes hurt as well.... funny though.
-NerfHerder
http://www.rathergood.com/soupy_george/ -flapjackboy
Temporarily allowing the site made my browser freeze, so I didn't let it finish loading. -Seamyst
rathergood.com is rather good -Tarantulus
I always liked "Chicken to Ride" and, of course, "Gay Bar" better. -Tekkie
Wow, brought to you by the dead squirrels at Quiznos. That commercial alway made my hungry, just like the creepy guy who wakes up next to you in bed and hands food to you. -Biosynthetic
The cake is a lie. (To the LART-mobile!) -charred
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30.
Stolen printer carriage
Not me but a fellow call taker had a lady call up freaking out that someone had broken into her house and stolen, not one but two separate printhead carriages from her inkjet printers. (power went out while they were powered on so the carriage didn't reseat to the right side). Even better is that the call was a side by side QA call and the QA Nazi was laughing to hard to score the call.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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The things people say to try to get free printer cartridges... -SirJosh
With the prices of the things, can you blame 'em? *grumbles and curses at Canon* -Helix666
Heh. *used to work at Canon, in the group with products that used some of the $150 laser printer cartridges* -SirJosh
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31.
warped hero perceptions!
http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/ - I'll never be able to look at Robin the same again
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Already seen it, in fact, I have the mp3, listen to it dayly, helps the insanity feel comfortable. -CallmeBob
... Is it bad that I knew who all of those combatants were? And Fred Rogers committing Seppuku... Poetic. :) -Seamus
( http://youtube.com/watch?v=XiZuvJ48MZ0 ) Robin is vindicated! -ShujinTribble
I love Ultimate Showdown! I first saw it a few years back and have watched it regularly since - it's awesome. -Seamyst
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32.
Taps
Today we mourn the loss of two electronic/mechanical soldiers. An HP Pavillion that I attempted to ressurect last night since the fans were likely to be much quieter than the Socket 7 built in piece of crap on my current Ubuntu box. It is valiant enough to give me a beep code, however it is the beep code indicating the memory controller on the board is pooched. So it now sits outside waiting for it's final journey..to the dump (unless someone wants to come by and grab it for ummm ..entertainment purposes). This morning I came into work and first order was to reassemble an OJ9100 AIO. Which I did, only to discover somebody scooped the board for the phone and USB connections which the printer will not even power on unless connected...So unless it magically reappears, this printer will find a home under a desk somewhere to be scavenged for parts as time goes on. Fare the well dear friends...
[By: frprinterwiz]
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*in honor of the fallen; I shall execute the missing ram formation* -GoblinKing
gone but not forgotten. my old i486 chip lives on to this day as my card holder when i play poker... -r3dn3x0r
/bows head in reverence... "$Deity is my shepherd.....I shall not want.....he maketh me Google green pastures.....he leadith me to great bargains....he restoreth my hard drive....yea though I surf through the valley of blue screen of death, I will fear no evil: for the Lart Shelter is with me....thy keyboard and thy software, they comfort me.....thou preparest a network in the presence of Starfish; Thou annointest my ram with YouTube.....my hard drive runneth over.....surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of recycling....and I will dwell in the house of Micro$oft forever....amen" -fdiskcuresall
Fdisk - you have just won an internets! lol -WolfPup
*tears in eyes* yes, Fdisk... you definatly get -- FTW! -GoblinKing
I have one question though, which Psalm is *THAT* one? is it the 256th, 512th or 1024th? -GoblinKing
*plays the bagpipe to fdisk's prayer.* *or farts in tune, if it's more appropriate.* -TheGhost
In the name of the W, S, A, and D amen. -SwizzleStix
GoblinKing: It's the 64th kiloPsalm -LazyLemming
"and I will dwell in the house of Micro$oft forever" So, I guess you're going to hell. -Stryker One
There is a get-out-of-jail free card for that! The Holy Trinity: Ctrl, Alt and Del... Nah'men... -unrenowned
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33.
My name is....
I have a very simple name that is not extremely common (although in this area it is more common than normal). I have worked with a guy for 4 years now. He still calls me by the wrong name. I have corrected him several times in the past. We have socialised outside of work. I have met his wife, we have children that are 2 days apart in age. He still can not get my name right. I'm not sure if I should break out Otis for this or just order new name tags....grrrr
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Start doing the same thing to him. If his name is Fred, call him Ted! It'll give a halfway normal person a clue. -TieDyedDinosaur
Aw. How many other folks expected the next part to be: "...Inigo Montoya"? -Tekkie
Actually, the first thing that occurred to me when I saw the title was, ". . . wikiwikiwiki, Slim Shady." -Big Bad Mojo
*agrees with Tekkie on this one, had been waiting for the line* -Grue
Heh, When I saw the title of this post, the first thing I thought was the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme. "My name is...
Shake-Zula. The mic-rula, The old schoolah, Ya wanna trip? I'll bring it to ya...." ;) -rokitt
hmm... simple name, not very common,but common in certain places. ... "Benny" Montoya? ;-) <My name is Ghost. I'm in the LART shelter, prepared to hide!> -TheGhost
"Hello Dave" Tigger in "Only Fools and Horses" -Zoomer
How about me? You know how hard it is to NOT tell people my Nickname/handle of "Shujin" when I meet them? And then it's ALWAYS butchered... "HI, Shoo-gee!" (*SHUTTER!*) -ShujinTribble
So they take a picture of that look on your face, ST? -VFox
VF - You mean THIS face? (^_o) ..yeah. That one. -ShujinTribble
Don't answer or respond in any way to anything other than your actual name. -Stryker One
Acually, the first thing I thought of when I saw the title of the post was, “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” /Princess Bride - had to be said. -MSimmons777
One of my regular substitute teachers (every time a teacher got sick, there she was, first choice for the admins) constantly called me Andrew. Time and time again, I remind her my name was Matthew. I tried having her call me Matt, but somehow that turned into Anthony... -linuxmatt
Do you have 6 fingers on one hand? -lineswine
I have to agree about not answering to anything but your correct name. I go by my middle name, but in high school there was one teacher who insisted on calling me by my first name. Finally, after several requests, one day I just didn't answer her until she called me by my middle name. She never used my first name again. -sassicatz
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34.
NSFW
Something to send to those annoying you...http://www.fuckoffimbusy.com/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Will now be added to my sig on certain forums... -cyberblade3001
Oh god, it's so tempting. I just know I'm going to get myself in trouble with this one. -Rissa
...so many people,so little time. -persephone
Only thing I would change is the word "friend." Ya normally don't tell a friend to fuck off. Just fucknuggets. -vacuumtubes
Bookmarked -RiffRaff
Not bad ... but it still doesn't beat a RickRoll or http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j211/Zero_Gravitas/inevitability.jpg (NOT A RICKROLL LINK). -Necros
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36.
Star Trek for Kids!!
http://www.seuss.org/seuss/seuss.sttng.html
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Thanks, frprinterwiz. You've just had my son in hysterical fits of laughter for half an hour, according to his father. :) -katinahat
I don't love TNG (Kirk FTW), but "give him problems dental" made me laugh. -veaudaux
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38.
if only
you could give the users these: http://web.gnuer.org/blog/uploads/pictures/stupidamouse.jpg
[By: frprinterwiz]
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They'd still break it. -MrJay67
So _that's_ what Apple used prior to their one-button mouse. -EtherRabbit
I WANT A NEW MOUSE!! </obligatory> -unrenowned
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39.
FSM yummy!
http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/edibleeyes scroll to the bottom to see what they create with the googly eyes
[By: frprinterwiz]
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obviously, He has touched the minds of scientists with His Noodly Appendage to create this. -lurker
Ramen! -lineswine
Awesomest. Treats. Ever! -LazyLemming
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40.
Need a signature?
I bet you can find an appropriate one here! http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm223.htm
[By: frprinterwiz]
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So where's yours? -K1W1
Even better: http://coolsig.com/ Check out the Geeky Sigs! section. -Seamyst
I think my favorite has got to be: "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.". -Stryker One
I like "If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started. - Actual excerpt from a windows program help file" -compbrat
Stryker: I think I first saw that in Phoenix Command. Another favourite is "Don't think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as having a wide target selection". -Loon
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing." I have that as a poster on my wall for the past 2 months -Motient
"Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. " this is my new interpersonal work signature.... Thanks!!! -Kawikak
Whoa, 80s flashback :) -Geminii
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42.
my new hero
http://www.jobschmob.com/showArticle.cgi?id=1491 for some giggles and grins
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Absolutely priceless! -Seamus
Fantastic! We need to recruit "Doug" for TSC... Unless of course, The Coyote has been too busy trying to get his phone switched to a new desk... /veg -exzyle2k
Sounds like the BOFH philosophy is spreading! -Captain Trips
Now THAT is AWSOME !!! -CSurfer
ROFL My new hero is right! -Seamyst
ROFL! That was awesome! -ManyHats
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43.
Will it blend
http://www.makemelol.com/media/374/iPhone_-_Will_it_Blend/
I've been mad at my cell phone before but never thought of doing this!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I like the iSmoke. -Seamyst
iProduct. Your life. In a shiny plastic box. -Seamus
but did you notice that the iPhone that was blended was PLAYING "Will It Blend" when it went into the blender? As the QDB http://bash.org/?782879 said: "That's so meta." -LoTech
I know someone that wanted to go into the business of selling iTEMS. -Stryker One
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44.
Errors I would love to see
Sometimes Stumble comes up with some priceless sites..thought you guys would like this one
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/computerenhancers.htm
happy holidays!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I've seen some of those before, but they're still cute. -Seamyst
ROTFLMAO@ some of the win 95 ones. Thanks for sharing:) -THETECHFROMHELL
Teh FUNNAY! -HappyCrappy
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45.
Please lart me
I have spent the last 3 days trying to figure out why my blank DVD's showed up as 0 free space in windows explorer. I contacted LG to have them say it might be a hardware problem and to call them with the serial number of the drive to check for warranty. I even scoured the knowledge base, tried some of their tricks, verified my burner was on the list of acceptable hardware. Somehow I missed the small print that XP does not support burning to DVD through explorer, you must use a 3rd party application. I am now happily using DeepBurner which seems to work quite well but I will stand here and take my Larting like a good little tech for not cluing in sooner.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I think the LG tech you talked to deserves a LART more than you for also missing it. They of all people would be closer to these kinds of issues. -Bynar
What Bynar said. It's their job to know the usual starfish-style mistakes and rule them out. -silvermoon
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46.
Who let the stupid people out?
I managed to escape from the house and the baby for an hour and a half to go grocery shopping and have contact with the outside adult world. I am back home and once again content to not venture back out very soon. In the course of an hour and a half I watched a stock boy insist on parking his cart in the middle of the aisle and having to move it every time a customer needed to go by and then put the cart right back in the center of the aisle. I overheard a sexually explicit conversation that would have made Burkiss uncomfortable between two other stock boys. I had a lady grab my cart that I was standing, holding onto and try to move me even though she did not need anything off the shelf behind me (I was waiting for the stock boy to help me get something off a shelf that I couldn't reach). My cashier sounded like she had a darth vader mask on and watching her try to find the clearly visible stickers on the fruit I bought and then try to match up the right code (she didn't, I got the expensive peaches at the cheap price LOL) was priceless. But leaving was even better as I watched a guy repeatedly try to enter the automatic exit doors and then when he got into the store the puzzled look of confusion on his face was great entertainment when he realized the only way to actually get to the groceries on the shelves was to find a way through the cashiers. So fess up, who told your starfish to go grocery shopping today? They should have been on the phones neeping at you working techs and leaving me alone!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Wow! An abundant sea of stupid! -Seamus
See, that was your mistake, thinking there was an adult world outside :) -Mysty
No adults... Just very tall, mentally challenged children. -exzyle2k
Ahh so this is why our queue was very quiet today! TYVM for taking care of all our missing SFs FR ;-) BTW when you going to bring the little BOFH in to meet us all? -LassTech
Tonight I had a guy try to come down the up escalator I was riding. A full grow, well-dressed man. I stress the word *try*. -ThinTheHerd
exyle2k - Please dont insult the mentally challenged children <veg>. -momo
Aha! I was on a Michael-Douglassesque cluebatting spree earlier today... I wondered where they all went to hide. The store, you say? -Learyban
Hire the handicapped, they fun to watch. -Stryker One
Yeah, I've never liked WalMart either. -MeanDean
"Idiocracy" - it is not a comedy but a post-dated documentary. -Wraith556
i order my shopping over the net now, i lost my temper last time i went, i had a granny try run me over with a mobility scooter and granny charge me with a trolly twice i usually use the automatic till to excape the stupid yet an idiot was there for 30 minutes wondering how it worked, then i got in my car about to leave and a woman emtied her trolley left it behind my car i was sitting in and drove off, GRRRR never gain. -r3tude
I get easily fed up enough with all the people in the store who can't use their eyes. They walk at you, block aisles, hover in one section for five minutes, let their brats run wild, and try to cut into the same section you're trying for .5 seconds behind you. And that's just other shoppers... -MadJack
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47.
Hurray! he's finally here!!
Charles Nathaniel was born Thursday August 2, 2007 at 5:27pm. He's very healthy but Mommy had some issues so it was not an easy birth for either of us. He's home, more info in the break room, pictures included in just a few minutes!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Congratulations! Hope you get back up to snuff soon. And give the tyke a hug from Auntie Tekkie! -Tekkie
Congratulations! Another Tech is born. -Gunpe
Congratulations to both of you! lots of healing karma on the wy to mommy and lots of good loving karma to little Charles! (here's a hint: chamomile tea is good for colic. just about a teaspoon or two with his nighttime bottle. That and he'll sleep really well.) -AdmiralLaurie
CONGRATULATIONS! -Grue
Lots of love and congratulations to all of you. The LineSwines -LadyLineswine
Congrats!!! :D -taieena
Congratulations!! Sorry to hear of the difficulties, but at least you'll always be able to hold it over his head (Ooohh.. the trouble you've been since DAY 1!!). As a father of two, the best piece of advice I can give you is TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. We've had a number of incidents over the years where our instincts said something was wrong and the doctor's disagreed. In every case, we ended up being right. Fortunately, they were all easily correctable (ear infections mostly), but it just drove home the point that "Mommy & Daddy know best". -virtualchoirboy
Congrats to Mother, Father and Son! Best to all of you :) -LassTech
(*Proud smile*) Good work! -ShujinTribble
Congrats! I wish you and the fam the best! -TechnoTherapist
Congrats!!! -Crispy06
Congrats!! Another LEO in the world!! Woot Woot!! -LowLevelFormat
Congratulations! I hope Mommy's doing better now and that neither of you are too sleep-deprived as of yet. :) -Seamyst
Hope all is well and congratulations!!!! -beatmewithstick
Congrats, as mentioned in the BR, you've got yourself a Golden Pig, according to the chinese calendar... :D Cheers from another Pig! -Dr Jerkyl
Congratulations! -NordicPT
Congrats! -Ramblin
Mucho conga-rats! He shares a birthday w/ me own nephew (who celebrated 17 on Thursday)! Congratulations on the new little tech! -MadJack
Congrats -SwizzleStix
Conga-rats! Here's hoping for everyone to come home healthy and soon. -Grayhawk
Congrats! Is the mother doing better? -Seamus
Congratulations, and best wishes for a speedy recovery for all involved. -Elfling
Congrats on the birth of your son :) -evolvedstarfish
Congrats! -RandalGraves
Congratulations on your newfound slave labor! Remember, their fingers are smaller, so they can reach into the smaller cases. . . -bbcisdabomb
Congradulations. Your first? And you thought you were having fun before. Hope you are better soon. -Amicuspicarum
once mummy gets over her difficulties,(and i hope soon, been there, done that!) it is quickly forgotten. so many congrats - kids are the most magic thing to ever happen to me... -timelady
Congratulations! It's wonderful to hear some GOOD news today! -ManyHats
Congratulations! May the joys following from this blessed event far outweigh the tribulations! -LoTech
Congrats on the safe birth, and give the kid a headstroke for me! -Darkridr
Yaaay! Congratulations! I have two boys myself. Children are a blessing. -56Kdaytrader
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!! Best wishes, and good health to you all! -Auroralights
Congrats from Casa de Chef -SwedishChef
Congratulations -adarklite
Good show old bean! All my best to the wife, wishing her a speedy recovery...Now, at what age is a Fisher-Price "My First Otis" an appropriate gift? I'm sure the youngin' will be swinging for the fences someday. =) -beerman
Congrats! And sends a nice get better soon for the wife. -StarFishHearder
Congrats! -ProfessorFrink
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48.
NT/OT but still a starfish
My brother in law, the one that's married into my hubby's family so thankfully not blood, is a starfish. This however is nothing new to any of us. He has a university education, knows how to do computer programing yet the only work he can find is as a dishwasher 3 towns away from here. So that tells you that EVERYONE knows he is a starfish. Poor starfish was having car problems, he was told to get new sparkplugs. It's very simple, you go in to the store, you look in the book and get the right ones for your model car. Not this starfish, you randomly grab the cheapest ones going. He came back with 2 sparkplugs for an F150, 2 for a motorcycle and 2 for a riding lawnmower. If they had sold the sparkplugs in single packs, I'm sure we would have seen a boat, a push mower and a farm tractor in there as well. Then after being told NOT to try to remove the sparkplugs himself because of the hell if you should break one or strip it, he immediately grabs the wrench as soon as no one is watching him, busts off the porcelain and then strips the nut. To top it all off, the original problem of why his car wouldn't start is someone sliced one of the wires right through (we know who and why but we also know he deserved it). But because someone said, it's your sparkplugs he had to change them. So he is still carless and now it looks like instead of the driveway repair job he's looking at a major garage bill and I know they won't guarantee they can fix it. I'd be laughing at him except for the fact that their middle child is autistic and they need the car to get him to his appointments as he goes ballistic on the bus. Hell, I'm laughing at him, we'll figure out something for the little one if he doesn't get the car fixed.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Not to sound disrespectful, but targeting the car of a family with a special needs child is IGNORANT. I don't care that you'd "make arrangements as that hardly ever works out. The guy might deserve a LART, but not this way. -HappyCrappy
Mechanical morons should not be allowed access to hand tools. They can't damage themselves enough. Power tools are the way to go. Give him a band saw for his next birthday. -Ramblin
Whoever said "alcohol and power tools don't mix" was wrong. It's an excellent way to cull the herd. -AngrySup
Whoever said power tools and alcohol don't mix never envisioned YouTube... -Grayhawk
If you want to eff with someone's car, a ping pong ball in the gas tank does nicely. It'll get sucked into the outlet by the fuel pump, stop fuel flow and stall the car. When the engine stops, the pump does as well; the ball then floats away and the car starts again. But it will happen again...and again. -RamenMcTavish
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49.
It's never good when...
3 Team leads and an HR drone are sitting there pouring over our company handout on policy and procedure (we call it a parachute). You just know that someone higher up ticked them off and they need something to use that's written in stone to get rid of them. I'm thinking either the Quality Lead or one of our Operations Managers..could be another Team Lead but I doubt it. I keep hearing snatches of convo over the amount of time at the coffee shop and how they are never around, always off doing something non work related. Unfortunately they just walked by complaining they couldn't find anything written about whatever they were researching. Could be an interesting few days here!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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ehhhh-huhuhuhu... eeeeehhh---- huhuhuhu.. You said, "snatched". (Ok, fine.. I got nuthin'.) -ShujinTribble
Coffee shop? You have a coffee shop? I'd settle for a descant lunch counter but that is not happening. LOL (We are really in the sticks if you know what I mean.) -Gunpe
Everyday seems like a new revelation there. Im spending my next two days off making sure my resume is up to date lol. -LassTech
parachute??? Sitel by any chance? -THETECHFROMHELL
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51.
You poor poor bastards
I read Caffiend's EUPOTD and immediately wondered if he worked for Primus. They had a failed firmware upgrade sometime in the wee hours the night before. Didn't realize the phone was done yesterday morning until it became vital to make phone call. Thank God for cell phones. I wasn't able to really focus on things until their support hours were over. Today I opened up my e-mail and low and behold there's the message with instructions on how to fix their problem. Which for me meant rewiring half my cable and moving boxes around that hadn't been moved in over a year. Can we say rat's nest of wires? Once I remembered how to hook things up without the wireless router (and re-enabled that connection on the pc) I was able get things reset. They did say they are reimbursing for however long you are down for, so for me that's 2 days worth of service which might equal a dollar LOL. So anyways, if we have any Primus techs here, you've got my sympathies.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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IIRC, Caffeind is a she.
How you getting on with that wireless router I dropped off at yours? -lineswine
FR: figured this was fastest way to get to you. I've looked, I've Googled, I've read, but I can't figure out, what is the difference between a HP 610N and a 620N Jet direct? Tech story to follow. rwallace@vci.net -beatmewithstick
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52.
My little fax story
Sorry couldn't come up with a good title. Had a customer and an agent really tick me off today. Story starts 2 days ago when she called in wanting to know how to scan with a AIO printer she has owned for over a year. Being that this is a first time caller, policy states that I can support her for free about this one issue and educate her about paying in the future which I do and she is grateful. We happily install the sw disk that has been sitting in her desk for a year and a half and everything goes along great. We set up her fax through the software and I help her answer the questions letting her know if we make a wrong choice we just need to rerun the software to change it. She insists she has a double/triple distinctive ring on her fax line. Unusual for a dedicated fax number but hey, whatever floats her boat. My mistake - did not test faxing before ending call. Customer calls in yesterday and gets noob agent who should know better (that's a rant for another time) and she manages to have cu jump through hoops and do things that have nothing to about the issue and finally the cu insists on talking to me. I am in a 4 hour training class (to be informed that the special contract process is rolling out for all customers and in some circumstances I get to hit the yes button now. I could have read an email in 45 seconds and understood it but hey, off the phones WOOOT.) I get an email while in training from noob apoligizing for screwing up and can I please take the call now - I inform her that I will call the customer tomorrow. So I punished both of them, I made the noob listen to my call and made the customer wait while I first called the fax number and got no answer and no distinctive ring, faxed and got no answer, made her manually hit start fax to verify it worked and then turned off the distinctive ring. (20 minutes for a 5 minute fix - yes this little french canadian can be cruel sometimes). Lo and behold it worked. I educated the customer that distinctive ring is not chosen just because the ring of the fax machine is not identical to her digital pbx phone. Then I reeducated noob about basic troubleshooting and made her install the printer software (even though it screws our pc's up over time and about every two weeks you have to uninstall and reinstall if you don't make certain adjustments which ooops I forgot to mention <eg>) I am slowly learing the ways of LART and will stick around to more from the masters....
[By: frprinterwiz]
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54.
Giving women a bad name
Got a whiney lady on the phone who just wanted a tech to fix her printer. Not unusual as some people don't read the fine print on their contracts (well ok -almost all the people don't) Did my usual educational spiel about why we need to troubleshoot. She relented and agreed to at least try and isolate the problem and get some internal pages from the printer. Printer was acting possessed and she kept on whining about me asking her to turn the printer off and on, press cancel, put paper in this tray and when I asked her to please disconnect the network cable because obviously someone was still trying to print to the printer that's when she really got me pissed. She had the accessory pulled away from the printer, had already confirmed she knew which cable needed to be unplugged and then in the whiniest little girl voice stated "This is too hard, I want a tech!" I swear it almost sounded like the sentence ended in a sob. I was so disgusted I sent her the tech. It's whining sniveling little prima donnas like this that give women a bad name. I hope the tech has to make multiple trips out and takes forever to fix her printer since I couldn't send him with the right parts on the first trip.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Ahh, women who try to play helpless. They usually shape up around me for some reason..... -56Kdaytrader
Tech? no and IF we did.. its gonna be a very expensive trip. -Harm
Well, you see, she was too far from a kitchen, thus caused her to go all whiny.
All she needs is to GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN & FIX SUPPER FOR A MAN! (Runs far, far away, giggling like a loon) -lineswine
Almost makes you want to say those three little words a man sometimes wants to say to a woman...."Shut...Up...Bitch...." :-) -vacuumtubes
"Please hold while I transfer you to a female tech who will have absolutely no sympathy for you whatsoever." -Geminii
"Iron my shirt"</From the LART shelter></Sobs because wife won't iron at all> -VIPERsssss
2 thoughts come to mind: The first is that this is the sort of person that Mrs. Grayhawk can't stand - she'll gladly deliver vicious and painful LARTS to women who do that. The second is that my poor widdle bwain started putting the title of this to Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" -- Sobs in her voice, and I'm to blame! Honey you give women a bad name. -Grayhawk
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55.
This week on Antique Road Show
we have found a Packard Bell Force 110 with 486/25Mhz pc with a 150MB hard drive, a whopping 640K of memory, built in modem and comes with DOS and Win3.1 with WordPerfect, MSmoney and MSworks preinstalled. Look at those amazing graphics!! - announcer turns to me and says and what price did you pay for this beautiful antique computer that isn't even Y2K compliant? --- I stammered and answered "$5 sir" --- Do you know what this computer is worth my lucky friend??? "what?" I said, daring to hope........ A whole $5!!!!! ----- Amazingly enough I still have a couple old soundcards that might still work, unfortunately no network card but it was worth the $5 for the blast from the past!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I might have an ISA NIC but I will have to check at work. I'll let you know. :) -Olorin
I've got four (!!) brand new 10Base-2 and 10Base-5 NICs (well, 10-Base-2 and AUI) ISA bus sitting at the shop, still in box.
One box was opened to verify that's what's in it, but that's all.
RwP
-ralphp1024
I have a Commodore 64 in its original packaging and in working condition. -56Kdaytrader
Good for retro-gaming! -Wraith556
i have 100 isa pcmcia adaptors. (it seemed like a good idea at the time is all i am saying). -timelady
If I had that pc, I'd give it to my son, and have him use it. Of course, my son's only 5, but it's a good start, right? -Bobsentme
Uh, Bob, making your 5-year-old use a 486 with less than a meg of RAM sounds like an excellent way to condition him AGAINST working with computers. Or is that what you meant by a "good start"? -LoTech
er, Bob, LSjr. started on a Pentium 133 NINE years ago. Now he's up to a Aluminium cased P4 2GHz, Gigabyte mainboard, 512MB RAM, 256MB ATI 9250 graphics, 80 GB drive, DVD-R/W & DVD-ROM drives, 17" Iiyama monitor (CRT at the moment, but LCD when I can afford), Logitech wireless keyboard & trackball, all connected to my 8Mbit ADSL line. (I spoil that kid, don't I?) -lineswine
LS, I'm up for adoption. <bfeg> -momo
My first PC was a 386sx. If it was good enough for me at 13 years old, it's good enough for Jr when he's 5. If nothing else, it'll teach him PATIENCE! <eg> -Bobsentme
I was a geek from the start. My first computer was a Apple 2c and a 8088... Yeah I had both on my desk in my room at about 6 years old. -Enigo
My first PC? A TRS-80 Microcomputer. "What model was it?" "It didn't have a model." "But of course it did! There was the Model 1, the Model II, the Model 3 ..." "Ho, the original wasn't a Model 1 until the Model II was being designed. This one was older." Ended up with it at 48K and with DUAL cassette decks! Woot! Then also upgraded to a doubler and three, 720K floppy drives. -ralphp1024
I've got two boxes of 3M 7" Diskettes; neither used, one is still in the shrink-wrap. I b'lieve these suckers were used in old mainframes; any hobbyists want 'em? -MeanDean
I actually still have some 8" drives lying around. And the computers they connected to. It's been years since they were turned on, though; likely the capacitors will explode if I plug 'em in. And those are big caps, too: 40A linear power supply. -chazz
Damm, I sold those units when I was Young. I still have a TRS Model 100 with all the peripherals in the attic. -Gunpe
One of my favorite shirts is an AMD 486 shirt. "Worlds's Fastest 486". -Kid
Nah, LS is more likely to adopt me--Tom already thinks I'm his sister hehehe. <3 -TranceGemini
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56.
am i the only uber geek?
I like to have my pc set up to display items the way they make sense to me. So one of the first things I do is adjust the way my time and date are displayed. No problems right? Well for the first 2 weeks of every month I have been having an issue with the application we use to sign off on our hours, it would error out and then after the 14th of the month it would work just fine. 6 months of tsing by IT, various profile resets, one re-image (without warning, thanks guys) and many heads scratched no one had figured this out and the big wigs would not authorize a service call to the apps developers because it cost money and I was the only one out of roughly 600 people having the issue.
Today I tracked it down to my date format being dd/mm/yy instead of mm/dd/yy. Switched and no complaints when I open the app. So this tells me that out of 600 people I am the only one who adjusts their regional settings. Yes I am the uber geek here and that is just damn scary.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Comments
Yep, Boy, you is DIFFERENT! -TieDyedDinosaur
Its lucky they don't send that app over here to the UK as a lot of errors would be comming their way, being that we write the date the correct way over here! -cjo
The correct way - YYYY-MM-DD, you mean? :) -Diptera
Geeze people, come on. The correct way is to list the time and date by stardate. -Stryker One
I'm guessing that the Julian Calendar is just waaayyyy to obvious... -duckhead
I'm still trying to figure out how to set my calender to Nibiru. -maciarc
http://steve.pugh.net/fleet/stardate.html -neuman1812
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ISO8601 -concept14
Naa, sidereal date, more accurate! -renaultguy
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57.
too much money, not enough brains
Would you spend $10 000 on a new printer and then not read the instructions on how to set it up for the first time? This guy would and the scary part is is that he is also a trained tech for the steak sauce company. When you power up a printer for the first time and it tells you the scanner is locked would you not look for the lock to unlock? Would it not occur to you we might actually secure moving parts before shipping a unit to prevent having to do RMA's over and over again? I didn't bother with my closing script to see if I could close the case as resolved when done because he mentioned he had more of these to set up. I'll think I'll call him back in a week to hear what else he screwed up.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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"...trained tech for the steak sauce company." Anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? -PTSTech
A1? (runs away, giggling) -lineswine
just becAuse he knows a thing or two about steak sauce... (btw heinz 57 and a little smoked tobassco, mmmm mmm good, especially on mashed taters) -rhiannon
Maybe he wanted to "fry" the printer? -Dr Jerkyl
$10 000 on a printer?? Why? Does it also do "personal favors" for you? -ShiftedBeef
<DA>I do tech for another printer company and it is uncommon to not get at least 5 of these a day and there is NO documentation in the manual on how to unlock the dayum thing. Manual writers need to be drawn and quartered for not including basic info on the units</DA> still annoying as hell when they keep asking what happened to put it in lock though. -halitech
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58.
let's troublehoot by telekenesis!
She's in Montreal, the printer is in Toronto. She has no web access to printer so we can't even double check the errors on the printer or see if it just needs a simple upgrade. She says just send a tech. Somehow I don't this company (big airport!) is going to let some third party tech onto their network. Ya, hun - here's the case #, log a trouble ticket with their IT dept to have them call us when they get the chance. Somehow I don't think one fax having intermittent issues is on the top of their list and just because your stewardess friend called and whined. You think you can overstep the chain of command and have it fixed because you want it done? Read the GDMF warranty and if you don't like it just try and return the printer/fax - I dare ya LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
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And how did they receive the printouts? By courier? Bureaucracy! Stifling productivity since the French Revolution. -Wraith556
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59.
released today!
The 2006 awards for the worst writing. http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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It STINKS! </Jay Sherman> -SalParadise
WTF ??? where's The Da Vinci Code?? I DEMAND A RECOUNT. -Digital Dogcow
--and what about the PR writting for why 'Duke Nukem: Forever' hasn't shipped yet?! (Oh, wait... they stopped that cherade, finally. Didn;t they?) -ShujinTribble
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60.
me want!!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/rc/7485/
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I want one too!!!!! -JH
We had fun with those at a family party. They pack quite a punch on the high setting. -ProfessorFrink
My wife bought my son and I a pair of those last Christmas and yes, they do impart a real shock not a buzz. They are fun for what they are but are best at tricking people who dont know about the shock. Feels like momentary nerve damage. -Darkridr
Bah. Not enough wattage. I wanna zap 'em like they decided to suck on a car battery. -MeanDean
I wouldn't mind playing against someone with those. Just give me some time to find a pair of rubber gloves and I'll be ready to try them out. -MarkerMage
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61.
IT"S ALIVE MWAHAHAHA
Ok maybe a bit dramatic but I finally have a working system at home. I've been reading and posting from work which is completely against policy but I have understanding bosses thankfully. Unfortunately this is a slower system and I am sure my starfishy hubby to be will notice and complain but it works! No sound, Windoze is controlling video and wireless but it works and I can fix the rest later. Me so happy!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Congrats on the working system!
-Grue
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63.
update to stolen car/ex roomie
Roomie showed up with the car about an hour after I posted. He was completely messed up on crack and booze and god knows what else so I am amazed the car is in one piece. Got the keys back, sent him on his way and told him he could come back to get his stuff when he was straight or send someone straight to get it. Nothing missing, nothing stolen, nothing damaged and he left without a fight so I called and canceled the stolen car report. What's really sad is that as a recovering addict myself I can so understand why he did what he did yet I also know that I can not help him in anyway right now except let him know when he is ready to get clean again we'll be here to support him. Thanks for the karma guys, spreading it back out at ya.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Sounds as if you dodged some major bullets there. -purplelinguist
Congratz on getting the car back intact, that was definitely a lucky thing from what you've described. -Grue
Did you check the trunk for bodies? -Divinar
Hell, check the car for stashes! You do NOT want to get pulled over on a broken light/speeding and have the dog go nutz on your car! -Psudo36
I 2nd psudo on this one - Go over it with a fine toothed comb. THEN, if you know someone in law enforecement (someone you can trust), explaine the situ and ask THEM to check also. </Voice Of Paranoia> -ShujinTribble
nothing stashed in the car - we checked and he says he didn't. He's in detox, od'd last night, we took him some clothes today. Did find a pack of coke in his room though and had to dispose of that right quick. Sometimes life is just TOO intersting. -frprinterwiz
Jeezo, seems like the karma fairies were smiling on you. Addiction's a terrible thing, hope your friend gets over it. -modeski
Geeze...if he's hiding it in his room, you'd better check the rest of your place. It's not unheard of for people to have more than one stash. Don't forget to look in the space between the toilet tank and the wall. -Parilla
Oh -- and look in the toilet tank as well. And inside the shower-curtain rod. I have to agree with Parilla: if there is one stash, there are likely others. -chazz
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64.
NT/OT NSFW Karma Request
My f*cking roommate stole the car this morning. It's now 7 hours later, hubby missed the day at work, I had to take a cab home and I am currently waiting for a cop to show up to take a report. I am so mad right now I can't even think straight. He has the house keys as well, hubbys mp3 player and cd player and a whole bunch of other crap that I probably need. He has NEVER taken the car without asking - today he took the keys while hubby was sleeping, no note, no phone call, left his cell phone and new shoes and coat behind. Please send Karma that the car is returned in one piece. As for what happens to the roomie at this moment I don't really care.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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sounds like you need the "land pirhana" squad of ninja attack squirrels. they can strip a cow to the bone in 90 seconds. I am sending them UPS, so when they get there just show them a picture of the guy and let them have a piece of his clothes for the scent...all will be well. -3p0ch
assuming thet he is now a former roommate, change the locks. -McSmiley
best of luck hope it all works out for the best -starfishmagnet
That's a Belgian for you! j/k <bfeg> -viennasausage
"Land Shark!" </SNL> -Psudo36
get the locks changed immediately, report the car stolen and give a description of the roommate to police. -Lehk
Make sure all your credit cards are accounted for, especially if there is one you don't use very often. Look at your check pad to make sure there aren't any blank checks missing from the back where you might not notice for a while. -concept14
Also, if you have other roommates, make sure everyone is on the same page as to what to do when the slimeball shows his face again. And do you happen to have a first floor window with a broken window lock? He knows about it, so get it fixed. -concept14
sounds like man may have flipped in some way. actually, sound worrying. definitely awful for you guys, but hope room mate is ok, and just a jerk. then it is justifiable homicide. -timelady
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66.
stupid farking mp3 player
I posted this morning or late last night, don't remember about the mp3 player I got for my starfish and how I thought I was going to be his tech support bitch on my lunch hour. Turns out he wasn't home so tonight when I talked to him he hadn't even plugged the thing in the computer yet. Why? because there was no place to plug it in. He didn't think about unplugging one of the other USB devices although that's probably a good thing as he would have pulled the keyboard or mouse out. So when I got home I went to set it up. Plugged it in and it wouldn't detect. Nothing unusual about it plugging in so I went to unplug it from the player and it did not come out easily. I certainly didn't yank it out but I did have to wiggle it a bit and as it came out it did so with a snap. So I got to drive across town and return it. Was extra careful with the new one but it plugs in and out without a prob and works like a charm. So the the asshat sales person who says I was too rough on it he can bite himself. There was definitely something not right with a connector that would break that easily on what is supposed to be a rugged sport style player. I was nice though and didn't knock his head off and he played nice and did the exchange after I looked at him and said that if they break that easily within 30 days every single unit they have sold will be returned. While he was in the back getting my replacement the checkout girl said they were already half way there. I left hubby a big note making sure he was very gentle and careful with the usb plug. Now taking bets as to how long it will be before he breaks it.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Ten minutes. -Olorin
"....A DUCK!" (Oh, wait.. what was the question again?) -ShujinTribble
was it a lexar? i had problems with one- after exchanging it, the new one works great. -Harm
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67.
Hey Burkiss
I think I found some of your comic books http://sinfest.net/d/20000407.html
[By: frprinterwiz]
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my mind's eye is now blinded... -RandalGraves
*AHHHHHGGGG!!!* My Eyes! My Eyes! -LeopardMadcat
I'm willing to bet NSFW, right? -linuxmatt
I'll have to wait until I get home to check the link. -Wraith556
When I saw the title I immediately assumed NSFW... -GuitarGeek
Burrkiss is nsfw -- but not nearly as much as "Dilbert Does Dallas!" -Captain Trips
Ya know, that explains a LOT about those characters. :D -missourimule
I sense a disturbance in the force...I see brain bleach in my future. -redevil34
Yes, quite NSFW, though FUNNY as hell... WHA-a-a-a-a-ahhhhaaaaaaaaa!</The Money Pit Laugh> -ShujinTribble
I want to thank all of you who sacrificed your peace of mind to preview whatever it was and warn me! -TieDyedDinosaur
I'm hard to shock so I am just laughing out loud. -concept14
wow, just WOW!!! Dilberts packin' -burrkiss
Packin' peanuts, more like. (Oh, hell.. BARKEEP! Brainbleach, please... and keep 'em commin'. Oh, hell... Make it a double, now.) -ShujinTribble
"Jack and Jill went up the hill / 'cause they was feelin' horny. / Jill said "Jack, won't cha' be my mack / and I'll be your one and only."" </sinfest beat-poetry> -LoTech
There goes any chance I had of being sane... -TheMage18
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70.
Breakfast is served
Don't know if this works but definitely the geeky way to cook breakfast!!! http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/cooking.htm
[By: frprinterwiz]
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http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/permalink/how_to_cook_an_egg_with_two_cell_phones/ - 'nuff said. -virtualchoirboy
Thanks I was about to ask if this was possible -LowLevelFormat
I don't know... I was thinking that a truly geek way of cooking an egg would be to see if you could overclock an old server, crank it up, kill off the cooling fans, and accumulate enough heat to fry the egg before the box shut down! (ouch!) -Voz
I have to agree with Voz. If I was going to make a true geek breakfast, I'd make my two eggs sunny side up on the dual Pentium Pro box... one per CPU. -chazz
Actually there are two essentially geeky ways to approach this. 1) Run a set of Thermo-electric converters (Thermotecs) instead of fans to cool the cpus, deliver the head to heat-pipe type coolers, cook on the copper surfaces of the radiators. or 2) go to MickeyDees and get a muckduffin! -TieDyedDinosaur
Mmm... pentium cooked eggs... -avkinkygirl
Eggs cook at about 140F. 50C is 122F, 60C is 140F. So you'd need something that runs at 60 to 65C. And gets the heat sink that hot. So more like 75C to 100C on the CPU. Welp - looks like an older Athlon and minimal fan B) -ralphp1024
That's the point of the Thermotecs. They ADD the electrical power they use to the heat they move. They 'pump' heat very inefficiently, so their output can be hotter than their input. 140F would be NO PROBLEMA! -TieDyedDinosaur
PPros will sustain 60C with the heatsinks off. They won't be healthy afterwards... but maybe the eggs will keep them cool enough to fry only the eggs, not the CPUs. No, I take that back -- egg protein coagulates at 140F, but you don't get the major heat input requirement that will cool the CPUs until you get up past 100C. So you will fry everything... -chazz
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71.
Sweet sweet Friday
Other than having to get up at the ungodly hour of predawn it was a sweet day. Full day of training on processes I will never use. The actual training material was about a hours worth. Having the big wigs steal our room during lunch and scoring a two hour lunch was great. Went out to lunch with some people from my team and had a great meal. Almost felt bad for my team mates that got dragged out of training after lunch to go on the phones but call volume dropped and they sat there and did nothing anyways. Why didn't I get dragged back on the floor? Because they have my schedule so farked up no one could read it to tell if I was even scheduled to be in and the trainer never filled out the attendance sheet today. Picked up Hubby's paycheck on the way home and they had included his vacation pay. Room mate got his check early so he paid his rent to us early and he's buying us KFC for dinner. And the icing on the cake so far is knowing Monday Hubby starts his training where I work (different campaign though) and in 3 weeks will have steady paychecks which means I will get the bills payed up before the disconnect notices show up. Whoever's Karma cannon hit me today I thank you and am shooting it back out there for someone else to enjoy. And yes I figure Murphy's law will hit tomorrow but I'll worry about that then.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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It is just possible that Murphy missed you and hit someone else, like the trainer! -TieDyedDinosaur
Every once in a while, life will have mercy and grant you a good day. It's those that keep the barrel of that revolver out of our collective mouths. So enjoy it. It's life's way of saying you deserve a break today. -Gerewolf
Now that's a good day.... its a good day when a roommate pays, just kicked one out because they owed me 3 months plus I'm practically getting kicked out of the apt because of it, but may be a blessing as found a cheaper place and I'm working steady now, hopefully the karma will shower this a way! -d4rkf1re
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72.
frappr/global com link
Well I got thoroughly disgusted at the group link at Frapper as it would not put my widget anywhere near where I live. So I said screw it and created my own frapper that would put the widget in the right spot. Then I got carried away with the site. http://www.frappr.com/frenchprintertech
well, maybe not too carried away but if Blindtech can have a blog then so can I, it's competely non tech but sfw. Not that any of you care but I am a sad pathetic lonely tech with nothing better to do late Saturday night. Please for the love of all that you consider holy post more stories on the weekends, only you can prevent lonely techs from blogging by occupying our time in higher pursuits.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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If you go ahead and create a free account on frappr, you can log into it and that gives you the ability to move your location pointer to the place you want it.... -Grue
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73.
the future of IT is doomed
Has anyone seen the latest TV ad for ITT tech? It's about a guy who wanted to be a poet and took English lit but had to drop out and then decided to go to ITT tech and get a degree and it improved his poetry. What the hell is this world coming to? I'll be in the corner whimpering.....
[By: frprinterwiz]
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we can only hope that employers are relatively enlightened: some degrees are worthless, no matter how much you paid for them... -chazz
There once was a tech from Nantucket...
-Fuji
who couldn't bear speaking to a f**k-nugget -slowANDeasy
And he said with a grin... -concept14
"Wipe that drool off your chin"... -PTSTech
then you chug-a-lug it -srteach
ok, now I'm hiding in the corner groaning (well trying to, it's hard to groan at a bad pun that also makes you laugh, thanks guys) -frprinterwiz
Hmm! A new TSC-Olympic Sport: Co-operative Limricks! -ShujinTribble
And not one comment from Burrkiss in the lot. -Wolfie0827
ohhh, that's good, but Techskills has them beat - the guy can't speak properly (redneck banjo jibberish would be more understandable) and can't comprehend multi sylable words like "Techskills"...he was a simpering idiot. -redevil34
Hehe, we played that game at an engagement party once. Two teams of 5 people, with the first line given by the host. You'd go down the line of contestants with each supplying a line of the limerick, and only 1 person could pass. I started out as the first person in the line on my team, but eventually moved down to last place because I had the best punchlines. -Splunge
I can just image the poet-turned-tech writing his case notes as Elizabethian poems! -NordicPT
Reminds me of the "Irish Drinking Song" from Who's Line is it Anyway? -docbrown01
totally OT, but 'drinking song' just put this into my head: "Jose, can you see... by the Don's surly wife...?" -Gaah
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary over many a tome of forgotten lore, there came a rapping, a tap tap tapping upon my PC CD Drawer. Quote the Windows, "NEVERMORE" -TheMage18
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74.
am I seeing things? HELPPPP!!!
For the last few days every once in a while when I try to go to www.techcomedy.com i get this huge screen from cpanel about there being no website configured at this address. Yet if I pick a page from the site I can get in, I can go everywhere except the main page. Very annoying since it is my Home Page. Then a few minutes later it will be back to normal. My system is clean as far as I know although I will rescan it again tonight to see if it's just spyware/adware/malware/etc... Was just curious if this is happening to anyone else, if Hawk is up to something or if I need to dig deeper on my end for the cause. Please, please don't take my TSC away!!!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Must be spyware or addware as when I pull it up, I get nothing but pure sweet TSC!. -jas75249
No problems here! -Zayda
those of us with firefox had this problem with the site, but its fixed now:) you weren't alone or mad;) -timelady
I get it occasionally, too. -HelpMeee
I get that occasionally as well, only it seems to happen only at work, and only in Firefox. In IE, it works fine every time, and I never have the issue at home in Firefox. -teivrann
Been happening occasionally, but hasn't since I cleared the cache in FF. I've mentioned it to Hawk, dunno if he's found anything yet. -Grue
I've had it occasionally also and I use Opera. -Olorin
using mozilla - will clear the cache and see what happens -frprinterwiz
yeah, i've gotten a different page sometimes when i'm going from page to page and I used firefox, but after a few page reloads, I'm back o business. -areatech
Yeah, I have seen that i few times this week. Glad to know i'm not the only one. FireFox here as well. -MrJay67
hmm odd. no problems here on either system.. or at work. just strange. -Harm
Nah your not seeing things, it was doing this a lot last Saturday, refreshing a few times gets it back. -PID1
I've had absolutely no problem with either Firefox or IE, </tempting fate mode> -Voz
Interesting... I've been having difficulties with other web pages not wanting to work correctly with my Firefox but have yet to run into problems here. *knocks on wood* -Zayda
I have just witnessed that very thing, with the "page is not here" etc etc, so your not going mad....la la, loopy, and nuts maybe, but not mad :D -Jax
I've had it happen a few times at work where we are forced to use IE, it's been happening since last week... -NOFXfan
You are not alone. I have recieved this several times. I even took a screen shot. http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blue3c/detail?.dir=/7313&.dnm=cdb1re2.jpg
Please please no digs on where I put it. I have no place I can go from work to post it except here. -Blue3c
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75.
old oc's and old pc's bite - litterally
Well I know I don't post much, no star, no stories etc but tonight I have a tale of Win 98, Pentium 133 wireless connection woes and video chipsets frying (mmm smells good, what's for dinner!). Essentially I have been banging my head off the wall because I promised my sweet little starfish internet on his POS Win98 pentium 133 - it's been done before so I didn't think it would be that hard. Decided to go wireless so I wouldn't have to move my machine (something about a 100 years more modern). Puposely bought the dlink system that stated will work with 98SE - long story short no it doesn't - see's the connection but won't actually connect. Move my office upstairs and hook his machine to router and wireless in mine, smooth as silk. Decide that since he is going to be online I need to fix him up with anti virus and firewall and generally clean things up. In the process of that the video chip on his MB decides to go to shit. Discover he has an ATI 264T chipset - your going well that's a RAGE chipset - yes and no - it's preRage, not supported by ATI and all I can get off the mother board are the numbers AA 650350-304 which leads me to one document that still doesn't tell me squat about who made the board but did at least let me determine the maker of the video chipset. So unless I can find the mobo's original driver set I think it's done for. In the process of trying to find identifying markers on the board the damn Soundblaster 16 card bit me with it's little pointy solder joints on the backside. End of story? 3 weeks I get my vacation pay that I had banked and I am getting a new system and he is getting this one because it runs all his games and he is comfortable with it. Still though my damn thumb hurts and I am off to google and driverguide.com to see if I can find anything to ressurect the dinosaur for the time being. Wish me luck (or pity, you're choice).
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Bacon and Egss along with that video chipset frying? Runs for LART shelter - trips and falls! -BesideMyself
Some of the most satisfying times, personally, are finding that driver for the most elusive peripheral. -namor
Every number I've seen that starts with "AA " has been Intel built. Might have been a Gateway or Dell or someone else outside -but it was Intel inside. -ralphp1024
Can you boot the machine as far as BIOS? If so and it is an Intel board the full model will appear near the top during boot above the memory count. If not Intel get the BIOS string from the bottom and look it up on Wim's BIOS page. -Darkstar2
From the number posted this appears to be an Intel Advanced/RH board. Details here: http://www.intel.com/support/motherboards/desktop/AdvancedRH/
including drivers it would appear. -Darkstar2
It bit you on the backside? I do NOT want to know why you were fiddling with the computer that way... -evolvedstarfish
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76.
need some info
I remember awhile ago a bunch of posts about the bad capacitors on certain motherboards. I've got a friend fighting with Dell about an mb with some blown capacitors that actually started a fire inside his case. They are claiming that it was caused by abuse on his part and won't honour the warranty. Is there anywhere online with info about what brands of mb's this happened with, supporting documentation or anything my friend can use as leverage to get his pc fixed? He works where I work so it's not like he can afford to replace it himself LOL. Any info would be greatly appreciated!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Go to http://www.badcaps.com for info; plus there is a Slashdot story at http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/11/001211&tid=126&tid=137 with a pointer to a story with losts of other pointers. Dell is explicitly mentioned. -chazz
Oh -- and if you get no joy from Dell, you can always send the mobo to me; I'll fix it, if possible, at cost for a fellow tech... and I'm in the Great White North, just as you seem to be, so no worries about crossing the border... -chazz
Unless he overclocked the processor to 25ghz, there is no way that Mobo electrolytics would blow... they usually have limits ranging from 6.3V to 18V... I'd call them on the BS. Poorly made electrolytics blow out unexpectedly, often because of lower quality control. -renaultguy
...and yes, I know I'm exaggerating a little.... -renaultguy
I'm an EE. Cheap electrolytic caps do blow up, and there is really very little abuse you could hand to your motherboard as a user that would cause that, other than high vibration or extreme heat. Extreme heat is unlikely because other stuff usually dies first. Its more likely that the board assembler got a bad lot of caps and they could not stand the voltage/energy that was going through them. -inganeer
You need to RTFA, renaultguy...I had a Norstar MICS phone system catch fire from DCCD. If the electrolyte violently discharges across powered contacts, an arc is easily possible - and the contents other than the electrolyte are basically paper windings. Motherboards are essentially the first place you'll notice DCCD, which is exacerbated by PSU voltage ripple. By the time bad caps on secondary parts like vid cards & such show up, the motherboard caps have long been causing trouble. As long as the electrolyte hasn't corroded nearby components too badly, this can often be repaired by soldering in a new set of good caps. -Grue
At my previous job we had many Dell workstations blow the capacitors on the motherboard. Dell Business support knows about the issue quite well and they replaced the motherboards immediately, no quesions. Maybe the info hasn't filted to India yet. -squatchie666
Tell your friend to unplug that 500 watts halogen lamp from the USB port. ... What? He didn't do that? Then how the hell can you "abuse" a MB to make it blow it's caps? Unless there are some serious sexual deviations involved, it can't happen. D'hell is BS'ing him. -TheGhost
I was told Dell shipped new motherboards (and hard drives) for every one of the dozens (hundreds?) of Dell Optiplexes (Optipeces? Optiplexi? Opti-ohplease!) at my company. After several months in use they had started BSOD-ing. -FuzzyElf
Oh, and (sorry), I've witnessed the repairs on the systems as they fall to the BSOD. -FuzzyElf
reminds me of what happened to my friends PSU when his dad tried to "fix" the electrical wiring in the house. i don't know what he did, but any eletrical devices plugged in (DVD players, the TV, my friends computer) got exploded and had to be replaced. it was cool when he showed me the PS and i saw all the blown up caps inside -razmann
http://www.safety-recalls.com/content/$so$17/93V147000-TOYOTA-CAMRY-1991.html
3 guesses what the bad component is -NewBrassGun
NewBrassGun: that won't be the capacitors, then. Bad caps started appearing in motherboards about 1998 and would not be in a 1991 Toyota. I'd expect the amplifier module myself, or possibly the inverter transistor -- 12V doesn't make a whole lot of sound power, you have to boost it, so there's an inverter circuit to make 30v out of 12v. -chazz
Chazz, re bad caps in car computers. My '90 Eclipse GSX computer died, and when they opened it up, the caps had gone bad and dripped something corrosive all over the back of the card (original computer) -CTYankee
Chazz, trust me, it absolutely was bad caps...they leaked electrolyte on the amp pcb and bridged between the backup B+(on a 20A fuse)and gnd. I replaced hundreds of these Fujitsu radios myself.
Basically, bad caps didn't come around in the late '90s, they came around when the electrolytic capacitor was invented.
Probably the number one failure in all electronics. There is no doubt, however, that the late '90s ones fail much earlier than others. Part of the problem with computers may be that the filtering is so much more critical in digital devices. -NewBrassGun
CTYankee, NewBrassGun: I stand... OK, I sit corrected. I won;t argue that electrolytic capacitors have been fragile since the day they were invented -- I have a vacuum tube amp here which would be working fine except that a cap failed and leaked corrosive electrolyte all over the place. In my defence, I will point out that the type of capacitors mentioned in the initial story only appeared in the late 90's, they were a new electrolyte formulation meant to work in high-ripple situations like switch-mode power supplies and near CPUs; that formulation didn't exist in the early 90's. -chazz
Yeah, ripple is the thing..probably a function of higher clock speeds? And +5v and +3.3v are already filtered and regulated out of the PS! If you look at the mobo filtering on an old Pentium it's nowhere near what they use now, and they work fine. An EE friend of mine went to a DSP seminar and told me that it's a miracle the stuff works at all..I think he told me that the oversampling used in CD players is actually a workaround to make them work with cheap power supplies. Probably everything should run on batteries. -NewBrassGun
Don't the consumer reporters for various TV stations live for this kind of stuff? I'm with everyone else, Dell is bullshitting your friend to avoid the expense of a site visit plus parts. -BayouTech
NewBrassGun: There are two things going on. First, newer processors have _lots_ more transistors and so have many more things going up and down at once... which adds to the ripple. But also, in order to keep from frying themselves, modern CPUs turn parts of themselves on and off when they are not needed... so there are major current changes as, for instance, the entire FPU gets turned off for a few milliseconds. Resistance in power busses means current change causes voltage change, which is ripple. -chazz
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77.
Ontario Employment Standards Act
Well this is sorta OT/NT for some but there are a few here that this applies to and after reading yesterday the post about employers paying cab fare for shifts worked on off hours I scoured the OESA ( http://192.75.156.68/DBLaws/Statutes/English/00e41_e.htm#BK25 ) and no where in there does it state that the employer is responsible for providing any sort of transportation at any time. Also double checked with a friend of mine who is a walking encyclopdia of labour board rules (have to be where I work if you want to survive sometimes) and no recollection of any kind of statute or regulation about transportation being provided. We have the full copy of the labour rules that apply to call centres somewhere at work that I can request but while I may get bored at work sometimes I don't think I have ever been that board even after 3 days of zero calls LOL. Any ways I did learn something new - that the rat bastards have been shorting people half days with their day off in lieu for paid holidays, turns out you are entitled to a day and half - the amount of hours that would equal the holiday pay in hours over and above your normal wages if you had worked that day. I'm going to have some fun come Christmas time off booking my lieu days *BFEG*
[By: frprinterwiz]
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hnh... ALWAYS good to know that one, given i can;t even book the christmas holiodays off now... or my last 2 weeks of vacation for that matter.. -Harm
Already got my Holidays booked *thank god* -Warrick
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78.
Karma balance
Hey, not much tech related here unless you want to count the fact that I just but a new cheapie Daytek 17" flat screen CRT monitor today because my backup 13" crapviewer crapped out. Been going through some rough times with my Dad in the hospital, work going nuts, b/f's health problems and just not liking life in general. Thanks for all the laughs, they really helped me keep my sanity knowing I wasn't alone. Things have gotten better though, Dad is coming out of the hospital, we know what's causing most of his problems and with help he shouldn't get any worse and might improve, we will be buying a house so that he can come live with us. Work's still insane but I have them over a barrel because if I quit there's a good chance they could lose the entire contract because without me they can't meet their contract obligations and it leaves them short on the other team when that contract starts as I am supposed to move over. So let them bitch when I don't take anymore calls after 10 to 5 because they are already getting an extra hour out of me. Not only that with my last raise I now make more than my managers. However the true Karma balance came tonight when my adorable starfish took me to go pick out an engagement ring and he let me get one with a purple saphire. (ok so that's the real reason for the post, can't help it that I am happy tonight and want to share it)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Well congratz on the ring, and hope your dad is ok, and hahahaha they are over a barrel that sounds so kink--I mean, hi. -TranceGemini
CONGRATZ! -Psudo
Just make sure you have a large dollop of epoxy on that barrel for them... congrats on the rigng. MANY happy days ahead to you -ShujinTribble
Congrats! Are we going to get to see pics? (I'm talking about the ring, Burkiss.) -TinyK
Congratulations for the engament - and good recovery to your Dad! -NordicPT
Congratulations, me and the SO got married last year... -Jax
Congrats on the good news all around! Can't wait to see pics of the ring. -Tekkie
Congrats and good karma to all. -Rabbitt
In backwards order- Grats!!!!!, *evil grins* good for you!, and awwwww... lots of healthy wishes and thoguhts going out to you guys!
-taieena
I love it when a plan comes together... even when it's not one of my own plans! Congratulations! -chazz
Beautiful story. Brought tears to my eyes. Really. Ah, There is much good in humankind. Congratulations on surviving, and finding (creating!) love. :D -FuzzyElf
Congrats and best of wishes to everyone. -momo
Batches O'Gratz! -Grue
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79.
MCSE still means must call someone else
Got a call transferred to me from the network support group for our printers. Generally they are really good with their stuff and the agent who brought me the call is the one I usually turn to when I have questions so I figured he had covered all his bases) Story is that Mr. MCSE wants to hook our printer up to a wireless router but they can't get the pc to see the printer so the issue MUST be with the printer. Since this printer has an internal network solution the network group doesn't support it (makes sense doesn't it). Guys on a laptop, shows full connectivity to his access point and the printer is hardwired to the "wireless" router. We can even ping the gateway and the IP address for the printer seems correct. Printer is not reporting any issues with the card or the network. What struck me as funny is that he couldn't get the router config page to open. Also even though the case notes clearly indicated that they had tried pinging the printer no less than 7 times already I still had to tell him how to spell windows. So I have him grab the model # of the "wireless" router and off I go to Linksys to verify the router's IP for the config page and if we need to open up any ports or configure access for the IP address in any way. Thank you "Mary" from India for not laughing as you politely informed me that the wireless router was indeed a wired router - in fact it is the model used by most ISP's for internet connections in offices as it offers 3 ports. Go back to the customer and ask him if his router has antenna. Cue half an hour of educating said "I am MCSE certified" slapnutz about networks and the fact that his laptop is picking up an unsecured network in his building (downtown Manhattan). The best part was freaking him out telling him it was illegal to use a wireless connection that wasn't his and that if caught he could face a stiff fine or prison time. Caller was Russian so it was even funnier when he asked if he was caught if he could get deported. I asked how long he had been in the country and he says he was born here. Thankfully his ADD kicked in and he went off on another tangent before I had to try and reply. Finally set him up on the one (out of 4) pc's that was properly (or luckily) hooked up to their network and I think he grasped the concept that he needed a network consultant to come in and rewire his office. Too bad I don't live closer to him because I have a feeling I could have made a fortune off of this guy.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Vee haff sayink in Russia: A priest's beard is always soaked in butter, and the vodka is always better in Vladivostok. -robbor
In soviet russia, building rewires you. -snJimboip
FUCK snJimbo beat me to it. -TranceGemini
Я хочу новую сеть -Jax
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80.
Yup I did it
stuck my foot in it again. Neighbour comes over in a panic because her DSL light is out. Probably an outage but I say I'll take a look. Commence powercycling, reseating cables, wondering what the extra cable, filter and connector are about and still no light. Call in to tech support and get level 1 nincompoop. He doesn't even know what the filter looks like, just that I should have 4. Ummm ok sparky I only have one phone, one dsl, a usb and a power cable. My understanding is filter goes on phone cable only. He goes to transfer me to a real technician (cough, gag, ya right). While I am on hold I find an ethernet cable not attached with a filter on it and plug it in. Still nada. Put USB back in and voila a light!! Reboot and should be back in business - nope. Bird brain comes back on the phone and chats with my neighbour to inform her tech hours are 8am to 5pm. Who the hell runs internet support only during regular hours? Well of course the monopoly of Bell. Hang up and figure well we have a light so the problem must be the pc. Run an ip config and we have 2 connections and one is showing a bell connection. So low and behold when the connection on the ADSL dropped the pc (or the user) tried to use the dead ethernet connection and it didn't switch back. 10 minutes later the pc finally lets me disable the bad connection and we are back in business. (not bad for a printer tech eh?) So what did I stick my foot into? I get to spend Saturday morning after I take the kittens to the vet getting her pc running up to speed again. Adaware and Spybot not run since I installed them 6 months ago, she has Norton and doesn't know how to update it, and the list goes on plus add a 14 year old boy into the mix. It's not going to be a pleasant morning. Karma gods please hear my prayers!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Cash...or food. Otherwise you'll be her 'tech bitch' forever. -Starfury
24 on its way! -Harm
Having an (almost) 14yr old myself, and seeing the devestation after giving him a computer... good luck! -namor
Depends on the almost 14 yr old... Mine is trained to nuke and pave his own machine. Something goes wrong, he has to fix it. New video card? No problem. And he is not a techie kinda guy, just an impatient gamer. As for the neighbours, better get them trained fast to feed you, beer you, and PAY you. YIKES!!! -Mysty
already got the food - apples with cinammon and raisins wrapped in puff pastry!!! I have no problems helping out this neighbour - best neighbour I have ever had. -frprinterwiz
I'd love to know how an ethernet cable got a filter on it... only way to do that is with a knife..... -kryliss
kryliss - I've seen an ethernet cable or two with ferrites at the ends. Guessing this is what was involved here. -gotpasswords
She so owes you - big time...a 'stupid tax' is due. -lineswine
FR - food as payment is good for about 1/4 hours' worth of work. Otherwise it is cold, hard. cash.
How muchg would they have to pay if the called a regular field tech out? Take a little off what they would charge & that is your rate. I do 'mate rates', 'useful person rates', 'regualar rates', business rates' & 'annoying twat rates'. The one I charge is often up to them. -lineswine
kryliss: I've seen filters with RJ45 sockets. Scary, no? -karlata
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83.
Master of My Domain!!
I finally have my pc moved down to my room in the basement. Well mine and the cats room LOL. No more having people look over my shoulder unless they are invited, no more worrying about leaving the window open and it raining when I'm not home. All I have to do is take care of this pesky fly and I will be happy. happy, happy. I even have room to set up a small pc repair bench although I haven't told hubby about that step yet. Wanders off looking for her pc tv tuner card.......
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I hope I'm not the only one who expected this to be a story about a network domain.. -NightSteel
nope fooled me too
-Imrcly
hee hee hee - haven't had much to post lately so I thought I'd get everyone's attention -frprinterwiz
I was thinking "I have my own room so can masturbate like an amped chimp"... ala Seinfeld's interpretation of being the 'master of one's domain'. -Mushroom
I was definitely thinking this involved someone installing a domain controller and putting themselves in the domain admin or enterprise admin group. -snJimboip
Nope. It would have been "MISTRESS of my Domain" then ... -Necros
Someone is going to have to post another story for today - we get the "Insufficent Sperm Doners" link then your "Master of my Own Domain" message. Causes too much cognative dissonance here. *dives for LART shelter* -ralphp1024
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84.
Ow My freakin eyes
Well so much for the plans for the butt implants in two weeks. My beautiful 21" flat screen monitor bit the dust today. LED comes on, it goes click and LED goes out, screen stays black. So in two weeks when I have the cash it goes off to SilverTown to see if it can be resurected. In the mean time I borrowed the monitor from my adorable pet Starfish (aka hubby). It's a freakin 13" monitor, it looks like a baby monitor sitting where mine usually sits and I have to squint to see anyting on it but if I increase the text size I have to scroll for everything. So people, invest in Aspirin as I will be increasing my consumption of them drastically until I can get my baby fixed or replaced.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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This would probably be the wrong time to tell you that I have a working 21" and a 43" TV hooked up to mine, huh. If you want me to suffer don't worry, my MIL is in town <BFEG> -DarthLuke
Does the display come on for a second before it goes off? And does it refuse to switch on at all unless you powercycle at the mains? -Firthy2002
or you could increse the text size and use force wrap. http://tinyurl.com/hlq1 -wolfprince
Wolfprince - Is a "force wrap" anything like a "force choke"? "I find your lack of screen resolution ... most discouraging." BAAA-Hwaaaaa -ralphp1024
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90.
NT/OT WOOT WOOT!!
I just got approved for a loan that's going to cover first and last plus hookups for a new house and leave me withmoney to fix my poor sick car!!! And it was just way too easy. My jaw hit the floor when the loan agent told me I had an excellent credit rating considering two years ago the credit bureau didn't believe I existed. I just sent off an application for a mortgage too and should hear back in a day or two if that's a go. We are looking to go rent to own which means no downpayment. If that doesn't go through we will just have to rent for the time being but it looks like we will be moving either March 1st or April 1st. runs off singing I'm so excited by the Pointer Sisters........
[By: frprinterwiz]
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gratz- My wife and I have been playing clean up on quite a few med bills she had ffrom before we met. hopefully we will be in a better position to purchase after this august -FrontSideBus
Aah, the land of lifelong debt! The next time you go to scratch your balls, remember, they're down at the bank. -robbor
Many happy congrats to you. -Rabbitt
lol @ robbor -FrontSideBus
I want a new HOUUUUUUUUUUSE! What? -thx1138
Robbor, I thought husbands gave those to the wife to keep in her purse or something? -Psudo
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91.
the ultimate hack site
Didn't want to bump the link of the day but I found this today and thought it was way cool
http://www.hackaday.com
Now where did I put my soldering gun?
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I want a new soldering IROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON <dives for LART sheleter> -modeski
looks like a great site....i get the dreaded x on every picture tho. -SGTARKyTEK
Got an even better site here : http://www.qfl.8k.com/z1023032.html <Not Work Safe but it's CNN!> -Necros
The old rotary phone/cell conversion was an idea I first saw here: http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/tty.html I'd like to do it sometime. -robbor
Necros - don't you find that hard to swallow? <I'll be in 'Pond Life' if you need me> -lineswine
lineswine - Well, I've *heard* it's good for the skin and promotes hair growth but ... -Necros
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92.
cell phone update
Well the phone was working this morning, turns out the 4 hour wait is up to 4 hours after midnight in your time zone. But I did manage to screw up my pin number and had to call to get that straightened out. I was good and I got a great rep who was on the ball and got me back up and running and gave me the master code for my records in case anything else happens. Thanks Gabriel!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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SHIIIIITT wooo hooo finally got me a double post .. </bowing> -TechBuckett
Members Area -> Delete Content to get rid of the dupe....
-Grue
And the comment remains, attaching itself to the next post... been caught out by that myself :-( -DavidHM
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93.
an apology in advance
I just want to aplogize to any cell phone techs who support the siemens m55 through fido. Bought myself a new one today and if my phone isn't activated in about another hour you will be hearing from me. I will attempt to remain calm and professional throughout the call and not act like a starfish. Actually the phone itself is pretty cool. Some neat games, it's nice and loud, has some great user friendly common sense features such as one touch silencing and key pad lock. However I bought the phone at 5pm and was told that in one to four hours my phone credit would be activated and while it's only 3 hours later I want to use my phone!!!! So just a heads up that fido has one hour left of my patience and as soon as the phone is activated you can bet I will be calling to set up the internet access and email service since my manual says I have to call you guys for passwords and the like. I'm getting impatient!! I want my phone to work nooooowwwww!!!! - oops, sorry, I said I would attempt not to neep like a starfish. Screw it, I want my phone working NOOOOWWWWW LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
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damn you are impatient... lol 1-4 hours and youre gonna call already. geez, I give them atleast an extra hour. -xtc46
just an update - it's now 9:30 and I still can't use my phone but it's my fault, I killed the battery already LOL. -frprinterwiz
Any idea why Fido does that? When I first signed up with my carrier (and every phone I've gotten since), I was active before the ink dried on my check. In fact, it's common practice for the sales rep to make a test call to make sure you're good to go, right after they finish programming it. (I'd love to have R-UIM, which would simplify it even further - although most sales reps I know can do the initial programming in well under a minute once they get the CTN/MSID). -missourimule
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95.
you'll figure it out
YA RIGHT!! So we get this introductory training to these new contracts we will be dealing with. Very basic, how to log the case, a written walk through in case we do have to set up service. It all seems fairly straight forward and we are told that it's going to be a few weeks before we really start to see these kinds of warranties and contracts coming through. Here's were the ya right comes in. Not only did they open up the queue for these calls full force at 3:30pm this afternoon they didn't tell us what to do with already open tickets. They most certainly didn't tell us what to do with seriously farked up cases and not even a hint as to what processes to take to cancel a scheduled service call. Of course I get one two minutes before my shift ends when this seriously messed call comes in that the lady wants to cancel. First thing is, is that I have no idea what the service identifier number is, nor do I know how to look it up once I figure out what the most likely bunch of numbers is in this cryptic case. Of course nobody else knows what to do with it. I finally make it over to the group that used to support these and they help me out with it and get it straightened out. He's telling me that I need to send a notifier to the deputy something or other and then a log note to the provider and it was all pretty much greek to me. That's when he said don't worry about it, I'll handle it. (thanks a million Tom!!) Someone else informs me that we aren't supposed to see these calls for another 2 weeks because they decided that the half hour of training we got (yesterday) isn't comprehensive enough. I think I proved that nicely and I have a feeling we won't be seeing any more of these contracts till after we are trained now. At least I got the scoop that the trainer is arriving in two weeks for this, my boss got the email about 4 minutes after my call came in LOL.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Fark it all. Now you're in trouble! They just "took away" some of your workload. Now they're going to have to "right-size" your department. Keep your head down and your lip moisturizer ready. -scooby111
no, they brought out twelve newbs for us yesterday, we trained on two new printers in the last 3 months with another one coming in Jan or there abouts and we get 14 more newbs in Feb or March. There's a core group of us agents who have proven that we can handle the stuff they throw at us and they know that less than half the newbs will go the distance. I don't have to kiss anybody's behind, they kiss ours to some extent because we do take on these kind of screw-ups err challenges LOL -frprinterwiz
Be ye not decieved of the brazen stupidity with which upper management will swing the axe. Some units have been known to swing the axe with the head pointed backwards and slice their own throats. -tuswole1
Do you work at the same company? This is so typical how things are handled here when a new contract comes in: 10 minute training on how to handle cases, 20 second for each product ("this is how it looks like"). And then we are expected to know all about 50+ products... -NordicPT
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96.
from my co-irker
well, we knew this was going to happen, just a matter of time. As you may have deduced I support printers, big huge laser printers. We have a very common paper jam where it's number one cause is the paper being too moist. We have quite a bit of documentation about these jams in no way being a printer hardware failure. We also have service bulletins, tech support documents etc etc etc about this jam.
co-irker gets the call. Jams in the transfer area. Goes through the standard tsing, checking all the sensors, usning heavier paper, using new paper and it's still jamming. HMMMMMMM. Now normally a fresh package of paper is all that is required. Co-irker goes back to address tab of case. Why you may ask?
"Sir, it states here that your corporate office is located in Florida, is the printer also located in this state?" -- tech "um, ya, is that my problem?"
No Shit Sherlock! I could hear the thump of my co-irkers head hitting the desk. You know, I could understand a SF not realizing the paper was hydrostatic but a trained, certified tech, um nevermind, they are all starfish....
[By: frprinterwiz]
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I had a similar problem with a Kentek engine right after a hurricane. The power in the computer room had been off for several days, and humidity bult up. After we pulled the fuser and toweled it off, it worked fine. -LaserGuru
I lived in Cairns for over 20 years. It's about the most humid place in Australia. I had a customer get mould growing on floppy disks. It not only destroyed the disks but made the drive not work after the disks went through them. I replaced his drives three or four times before we worked out what was wrong. -Gerund
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97.
Update to the pc upgrade
so I went back today to finish up my friends PC. Only ever mangaged to get one cd rom working, it just will not recognize a second cd rom no matter what I do. Now mind you I have the 32x burner/dvd player working no problem but I can't get a simple 8x cd player or 4x writer to install even as a solitary master. Stumped but don't care basically. Fixed her up with all the usual adaware/spybot/avg and made sure her printer was installed. Last step was to do the virus scan. Guess what? She stayed up last night and played on the internet and has already managed to infest herself with IRC.Backdoor.sbot.30 that AVG couldn't clean. I left her to google out a resolution and when she finds it if it is beyond her to print off the instructions and call me. The good news is I came away with a new motherboard with a P2 chip, SB 16 card, older ATI card and a modem along with another 6.5G WD hard drive. Now I need to scare up a case and ATX powersupply, some ide cables, floppy drive and ram. Just gonna keep my eyes open on garbage day, never know what you might see. So by now some of you are going why do you want to build such a POS system? Because it's better than the P1 with onboard video/sound that my b/f is currently using and I want to take his and play with something linux and maybe if I can master the basics move up in this world away from phones or at least farther from the general starfishies. Do you think that might work?
[By: frprinterwiz]
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btw, I'm pretty sure I dealt with that virus, and doing a virus-scan in safe mode did the trick. Oh, and make sure to turn off system restore if it's XP -LiQUidICicle
Knoppix, I see knoppix in your future. Mac the crazy fortune teller. -mccallister
What's wrong with P2's? I can't even afford a P3 yet. But playing and especially *fixing* linux probs helps, yeah. -namor
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98.
Mr Mechanic thinks he's a tech LMAO
Some of you may remember Mr Mechanic and my efforts to help him with his fubar'd pc. Mr Mechanic isn't much of a mechanic either but he figured the few little things I had taught him qualified him to install hard drives and burners and install XP Pro on my friend's brand new to her P3. Now this friend knows she is a starfish and so was happy to have somebody give her a hand with her pc. Mr Mechanic spent 3 days working on her computer and by the time he left everything was hosed. So I got hunted down tonight and begged to come over and take a look at things. She was so upset I thought she was going to kill someone and yes I was hoping it would be Mr Mechanic. I arrived to find that XP had been installed on top of Win98 and was not playing happily. Not surprised since this was a full install cd, not an upgrade cd. Then to find out that neither of her cd -rom's were behaving properly even though I made sure they were cabled and jumpered properly (which they weren't). Windows was seeing both of them under one drive letter and if one was unplugged the other would not power up. Also was getting an error on booting that the drive was not ATAPI compatible. I'll give you three guesses as to the cause and 1 and 2 don't count. So grab the old IDE cable from her dead pc and voila we now have working cd-roms. Left her place with C drive formatting and she was sure she could do the install which is pretty much straight forward. She also knows that if she doesn't know what to do she can just leave it till I get back there tomorrow to put her system back together properly. It was after midnight when we reached the point of it booting from a cd and I wasn't about to power it off to spend half an hour screwing everything back down and recabling the spider's nest. I will go back tomorrow to finish up but the good news is I scored a 10G hard drive for my s/o's pc. :) And she promised never to let Mr Mechanic touch her pc or anyone else's if she could. I'm off to bed, it's now quarter to one and I have to be up at 6.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Work, sleep, work, sleep. I think we need a vacation. -Zayda
At least that's better than: "neep, nop, neep, breed, neep, whine about new mice, nop, surf porn, rinse, repeat" -itwasntme
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99.
OT - New member of the family
So I get home from work today and the boyfriend has gone overboard in the house cleaning and cooking deptartment so right away I know something is up. Sure enough a friend of ours is looking for a home for their "small" "quiet" dog since they caught his stepdad beating it. I get the puppy dog eyes and an hour later we own the puppy dog. So buddy brings the dog over, a full grown 3 yr old male (fixed, thank god) pure bred, bluetick coonhound. Creatively named Blue of course. I was concerned about my cat but he pretty much ignored the cat and the cat has ignored him except for some passing sniffs. He seems friendly, curious, fairly calm but time will tell. So far in my research I have learned that they don't like to be left alone which may be a problem once my honey gets back working, they don't bark, they howl loudly and I live in an apartment and they need lots of exersize (well i keep complaining about my wieght). I've also learned that they are loving, loyal, calm, smart dogs. Anyone have any tips for me I would love to hear them although tip number one is to move anything at tail level out of the way. Learned that two minutes after he walked in LOL.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Hint: Dog treats make great motivators. Use them liberally if you want to move a canine out of the road. -Torinir
"Kong Dog toy's" http://www.pet-expo.com/kong_dog_toys.htm and on http://www.kongcompany.com/ they give good ideas on what to do with the kong, when i had larger dogs, this was a "God Send"! And, please think you your local park employees (shamless plug) and take a scooper and plastic ziplock bags to the park with you! -wolfprince
<weed eaters and dog piles DO NOT GET ALLONG WELL!!!> -wolfprince
All the dogs I've cared for have loved ropes. Especially when teething. This one is older so that won't be an issue, but if they play with ropes alot, their teeth will be nice and clean (It's like their constantly flossing). Putting the ropes in water and then freezing them seems to be popular with my roommates 10 month old golden retreiver. -Evan
Evan - What does putting the rope in water have to do with freezing the dog? Oh....wait....never mind. *beg* -JH
lol at wolfprince -LiQUidICicle
Oooooooo.. a coonhound.... Lovely breed, VERY good family dogs... but yes, you already know the drawbacks... good luck.. (Fires M-79 Kanine Karma grenade to your co-ordinates) -HappyCrappy
JH, Sometimes I wish I could do that... especially when I come home and find 8 new holes in my back yard. -Evan
Lots of BBQ Sauce! (I'm a Cat Person) -satanstech
If you can bear to take up jogging and take the dog with you you will have one happy and healthy dog. If it gets lonely you might try leaving the radio on to a talk station while you're gone, also leave him something that smells like you or your boyfriend to cuddle with while you're not home. -thx1138
I think you already have all the top hints, lots of exercise and love. -ewspy87
K9 agility classes (and obedience classes in general) are a great way to provide excercise, socialization, mental stimulation and reinforce that you are the pack Alpha. My wife takes our dog to classes at the local SPCA office every week - a tired dog is a very well behaved dog ! -redpaulhus
Remember canine psychology when training. Things to remember: a dog is part of a pack, so the right place for him to sleep is on the bed with you; vocalization is pack bonding, so sing with your dog (Rowwww--ooowww.) Pick up a book such as "Training Your Dog the Natural Way." Did wonders with our little girl. She knows she is a person, but also is aware that she is a canine-type person. -Captain Trips
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100.
attention photosmart 612 owner
sorry to post this here but the message board is still down. Just wanted to let buddy know (sorry, forgot the name) that his camera is fubar'd and it would have to be sent in to get a new LCD screen. It'll run around $300 bucks to get it fixed. It's recommended to replace it with something from the 700 series (I think she said 709 but I can't remember, it's Monday).
[By: frprinterwiz]
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R707? Good - no, excellent camera in terms of features, but not necessarily the greatest picture quality and not all that cheap ($350). My personal choice would be an Olympus MJU400 if you can get that in the USA. -DavidHM
Here's a surefire tip for buying a digital camera - choose the brand based on the big names in CAMERA manufacturers. Spending the same amount of $ on a HP versus a Kodak digital camera will get you a much better Kodak than it will get you a HP. Olympus is generally considered to be the best digital camera maker around - for top-of-the-line equipment, always go with Olympus. -OgdenTechGuy
here's a hint. avoid kodak cameras from my experience they aren't worth the money. look to cannon, olympus and sony. i own a cannon a75 and its a sweet little camera, and from experience and cust feedback know that olympus and sony are nice cameras too. -marionette
thanks for letting me know - seems technology is conspiring against me (see my wireless network post) -madonnac
And no one mentions Nikon? What is this world coming to. -Jerbear
nikon D100 is awesome for me -srteach
I have a Canon A80 - sweet little camera, but I'm thinkin' that I would have bought one of the SLR digitals on the market. One that I can change the lenses on. -ecoli
This is the camera I bought last year, still works great even though they have a new one that trumps it by 3 megapixels, http://www.steves-digicams.com/2002_reviews/f717.html -DarthLuke
Olympuses may be great cameras but I don't care for the fact that they (and Fuji) standardized on Smartmedia earlier, and now xD. Furthermore, I was not impressed with the menu navigation on the C2040 (hopefully they've improved since then). Love my Nikon CP5700; still learning the many bells & whistles. -BayouTech
Another thing: No matter what camera you have, always make sure you have 1) carrying case 2) spare batteries, and 3) spare flash card(s), and 4) a media reader for your PC (preferably a USB 2.0, xD capable one). Never upload the pictures through the camera itself if you can help it; it chews up the battery and the data xfer is hideously slow. -BayouTech
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101.
Not what you want to see
in the parking lot when leaving work.We have dedicated parking areas where I work so i am relatively sure this license plate belongs to someone who works where I do. The only hope I have is that this person has absolutely nothing to do with the technical side of our call center. (we also have queues for a credit card company and a cable company) This person's license plate said
GLDFSH
I don't think I would be advertising that nickname LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Piss in his bowl. -scooby111
He eats flakes. -Mushroom
MEOW!!!<swipe> -Harm
Funny license plate I saw parked right next to my father-in-laws car when we arrived in DC earlier this year 'Aargh' It expressed exactly how I felt after 3.5 days on a train. -DarthLuke
I would hate to see that plate in front of me on the freeway. It is said that goldfish have a 3-second memory. He would forget that I (or anyone else) am still on the same road as them! -Captain Trips
Funny plate that is on one of the cars here at work XHACKER -compaq42
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102.
is back!
not that anyone noticed I was gone LOL. But after a year and a half of my mucking with XP home I finally got it to cack out completely. Booted to a lovely screen with a blinking curser. Only took me two days to get it reinstalled due to my stupidity (do not try to format a drive when you have no caffeine in your system). However everything seems to be up and running now. Keep your eyes peeled over the next few days on the message board as I had to disable my usb ports to even get windows to load and will be re-enabling them in the next couple days to see what happens. Scary LOL. Well off to work..basically I just wanted to say DAMN I missed you guys!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Welcome back!!! -hkypipe
USB ports disabled? I had to disable support for my motherboard to get XP to work properly when I last installed it. It's using generic motherboard drivers. Whenever power management tried to do ANYTHING (not necessarily actually to DO something, even just probing itself) it would blue screen. Managed to trace it through the system logs to find that problem. The computer would stay up for about ten minutes before bluescreening. -pmillipede
Just realised the "probing itself" sounds almost disgusting. -pmillipede
now that you mention it... we didn't miss you, did we??? can you go away again? we'll get it right this time!!! (j/k) Welcome back! -duckhead
That's been happening quite a bit frequently. It's manly a recent thing. You might still be able to get into safemode. -DracoSuave
Just found this today. Haven't tried it yet but plan to. Hope it helps somebody. http://greenmachine.msfnhosting.com/XPCREATE/ -WinterWolf
My XP home took a major s**t after I install the patch that was supposed to fix the LSASS flax. Wasn't allowing me to transfer files over the network. Nothing worked (chkdsk /repair, system restore, etc.). Ran the repair console from the install cd and it removed my software for my internet connection. Tried to reinstall it and it said that I didn't have Remote Access Service install, but I did. Uninstall/ reinstall Remote Access and the still wouldn't load software. After about 2 hours and 17 different error messages... fdisk reinstall. Took about 13 hours of my life just to by able to utilize my network. MS sucks. -IseeIDIOTS
there was no luck getting into safe mode, as soon as it tried to access the hard drive it crashed. I managed to boot off the cd and could access the hard drive so I knew it was ok. A fixmbr had no effect whatsoever. So format reinstall, hey let's partition it and then forget to go back and format the new drive I created. 6:30am let's format the new section, oh crap, wrong selection LOL Managed to get it done but had to let xp reinstall itself and it would get so far and crash, restart, get farther and crash and so on. Seems to be ok now but not brave enough to play with the USB ports yet, too tired from dealin with starfish -frprinterwiz
So basically what you're saying is that you ignore us except when your XP doesn't work? Farkin' typical if you ask me. -Beeker
Well, my dad's machine, that has been crapping out since brand new, crapped out totally in May. I advised changing the video card before fixing - it's all sorted now and I don't think it has even *thought* about crashing since I rebuilt it. -EmleyMoor
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103.
why do my good days go bad?
I have been blessed with 5 days off in a row and am enjoying my last day of freedom before heading back into the salt mines. Went to an awesome convention this weekend and then yesterday a friend dropped off an old 233 Pentium 1 system for my roomie. It will let him play his cheesy games and check his email (when I get another patch cable). Had a blast setting up the system and living in a time warp while doing it. It's actually fairly stable and runs quite well. This morning I went to switch back to my tower and when I turned it on NOTHING!! Not even a poof or bang or whirr. Nothing moving, no noises crap crap crap the power supply bit the dust - again. This is the second one my pc has eaten and I have a UPS. Went off to my little favorite shop across town with the dead ps in hand and the boss man was in, took it in the back and then came back and tossed me a new one free of charge. That helped to soothe the anger over the pc being fried this morning. At least I got the chance to finally dig the floppy slider out of the reader so I can use it again and make sure everything was seated properly and nothing was living inside the case. Roomie is tickled pink with his new system and the cheezy games I pulled off of gamehippo for him. (He's a freak, I'm the geek). Hopefully this was just a temporary disturbance in the force and the rest of the day will be fine. In fact I am gonna go help it along by grabbing a nap. See ya!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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No good deed (or day) goes unpunished. -Starfury
maybe plug everything into a good 'on-line' UPS? Brown power and spikes can do that. Have a client whose mobo was fried by a lightning strike THRU the cable modem *and* a router to his built-in NIC. Gonna sell him a power strip w/coax protection as well as replace the mobo. -CTYankee
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104.
so true
didn't want to overwrite the link but saw this, this morning and am still laughing at it.
Funny stuff
not sure if the link is going to work so here is the url - http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/umedia/cx_hulme_umedia/latest
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Not bad, but it would've been better if the arrows were pointing west towards chine & india rather than east towards Europe. -paranoidepiphan
well, if you head east far enough, you'll hit china. -Bynar
No, if you head too far in any direction, you will fall off the backside of the world. Gee, any bear knows that! -CyBear
No, if you head too far in any direction, you will fall off the backside of the world. Gee, any bear knows that! -CyBear
I call bull$hit. There are plenty of jobs for fresh college grads right here in the United States. I know for a fact that there are at least 3 job openings at the local McDonalds. -scooby111
Yeah I knew that. I've been to the edge. (I spit over it) -Jerbear
Jerbear, that's Van Halen, right? -Tekkie
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105.
No punting allowed Microshaft
Let's see what this moron did here... (it's been a long day and my head is fuzzy from a wicked head cold)
First he bypassed the OOW agents by lying to the ivr about how long his customer owned the printer (all of these model printers are 6yrs or older, warranty is one year, extended warranty is max 5 years and except for the odd screwball contract so there is no more free support)
second didn't bother to even check if the printer was supported by the OS he is supporting (which it isn't)and..
3rd, tried to say it was a problem with the spooler which guess what? I don't support that, that's a microshaft function!!!
Farkin luser, tell your customer to get with the times and get off my phone so I can cough/sneeze/blow my nose and continue feeling miserable without your help!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Why bother using a 6 year old printer anyway? You can get a really good inkjet for $100 now. /paper is obselete -Jerbear
The paperless office is right up there with the paperless bathroom. Our printers must kill thousands of trees every year. -LaserGuru
Might be a dot-matrix or a laser that's built like a tank and still has a core business function that depends on it. Although I'd guess that most of the lasers would have some sort of driver included in Windows, thanks to MS. -BayouTech
Plenty of reasons to use a six year old printer. I've got a 12 year old Apple Laserwriter in my office, which still works great if a bit slow. Quality for B/W is far better then a $100 inkjet, and I haven't had to spring for toner yet. -smellystudent
I work for the largest print company in North America, they like paper here for some reason. They print every damned thing they can; e-mail, memos, blank pages for the fun of it. -ewspy87
At my work we use 12-year-old printers. But we buy a service contract with Xerox and the printers were over $100K new so we have to get our money's worth. -thx1138
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106.
GAAARRRGGG
Don't decide at 1am to update your personal website to give it a new look by adding frames to the site. Especially if you are still stuck back in the 90's using Frontcrap 98 (although i do dump my pages into notebook and do the final workover there). I'm not sure if it was Frontcrap or me that messed things up but it's now 4:15am and the frames are working properly, the links go where they are supposed to and I didn't see any missing pictures.
I am finally going to bed, thankfully on the afternoon shift as I am presently training on a printer that we know doesn't work properly but can't tell that to the half a million owners LOL.
Oh ya, if you actually want to see my crap it's listed in my members info as my home page cause that's what it is :)
[By: frprinterwiz]
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OMG, I just checked out my site using Netscape - DON'T!!! LOL, I have some major work to do to make it look as good if not better than what Exploder does with it. I'm almost tempted to put Opera back on and see how it looks there but not tonight, sleep, I need sleezzzzzzz -frprinterwiz
The formatting looks good on Mozilla 1.7b, but Ye Gods, what's with the color schemes and font sizes? Need to cut down on some of the <big> tags. -TechnoVampire
My website had a problem for weeks that was driving me nuts. Nothing I tried fixed it. I had just about given up hope when I found the problem - I'd typed a ) instead of a }. -thx1138
Ummm, I don't see a link to TechComedy in your "links I luv" page. ? ! -jard
The site will also load more quickly if you resize the images before posting. I dragged one into the address bar, and it was about 5 times the size - resize it instead of having the browser do the resizing. :) -ShutUpAndHangUp
no link to TSC there because too many starfish and I refuse to share this site with them. -frprinterwiz
It looks okay in Opera. I didn't care for the color scheme either, but the phone buttons are neat. Enjoyed the cat pics. -concept14
it could be worse, My webpage comes up the exact same no matter what I do, including deleting the files off the server.
-drachen
Looks OK in Mozilla 1.6, and the music plays. -chazz
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108.
I can't get away from them!!
I had yesterday off of work. Great until my cars fuel pump decided to spring a leak. Called a friend of mine who is a genuis with mechanical stuff and he agreed to try and help. Long story short today my car was dropped off at work after being fixed. Although I wound up spending the night at his place so I could get to work today.
Another buddy was also crashing there (let's call him AT(almost techie)and MG (mechanical genuis) was complaining that his pc was running very slowly so AT was attempting to remove software that he didn't need and pare down his start up programs. Me and MG worked on my car. That evening AT went out and MG and I were surfing the net and he was saying well it's a bit faster but you would think a brand new pc would be faster and I agreed (this pc is a Dell rental, only a temp pc until he gets his new custom pc next month).
So I decided to run the full gamut of spy removal software that cleaned everything (600 freakin entries no wonder it was slow). Turns out that he has no firewall and no av protection either. AT gets home and we throw Kerio on just so that he has something until he buys something and AVG which manages to find a Win32/parite virus. 1006 TIMES!! AVG won't heal it, we discuss a nuke and pave but decide to try Mcafee as AT can log into their site and use some of the services. It doesn't find the virus - go figure.
At this time it's almost 2am, I say screw it and go to bed. AT decides to continue. Turns out AT wound up whipping out his credit card at 3am and paying to have PCCillin clean it out as it finds it. System now virus free and MG has now purchased the entire Mcafee suite on AT's advise. Umm Mcafee didn't find the virus and you still want to use it? This is why AT is an "almost tech". He still gets blinded by extra features and pretty graphics.
The one good laugh I had was at MG's desktop wallpaper which I told him was appropriate but not why. It was the MS ocean theme and yes the wallpaper was a bunch of starfish!!! I just can't exscape from them, they are everywhere!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Hey, I like your signature, vey catchy. -robbor
Oy vey, robbor-great spelling! -billybien
why did he pay? pccillin has housecall on their site and it is free. Maybe that is another reason he is only an almost tech -AngelicTech
I have no idea, it was 7am and I had 3 hours sleep on a really lumpy mattress and he said he had it fixed and it didn't cost much, asked him what he used and then just said whatever, get me to a Tim Horton's STAT!!! LOL -frprinterwiz
question: did you d/l the latest copy of Stinger from McAfee? Pretty useful. Cheers! -CTYankee
yep. housecall.trendmicro.com is incredibly useful. One of the bookmarks on every pc I own/have in my house/here at work. -CarbonTetra
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109.
I'm sorry I can't help you!
I don't know what it is with french people (no offense to any french people here). The queue I am in at work is known as a "super queue", essentially if the french agent for your product is busy it goes to the next available agent that speaks french. With only 1 or 2 french speaking agents per product and only 3 of us actually starting at 8am the first couple hours of my day are usually spent taking messages and arranging call backs for when an agent is available.
Okay people when I say I don't support your product don't continue to ask me where to send it for service or what part number you need or what the blinking lights mean!! I support 6 different printers. That's it, that's all I know, that's all I want to know. I don't know how to do a recovery on a tape back up, what kind of cartridge you need for your inkjet or if a heating roller is the same as a fuser in your $50 printer. In fact I don't care!!! Shut up, give me your name, model and phone number and somebody will call you back as soon as they can. No I don't know what time or who it will be. GRRRRRRRR
Even more frustrating was I went to the dentist and didn't get my teeth pulled but still wound up with half my face frozen for 4 freakin hours. After getting the max amount of freezing stuff I could still tell when he hit my tooth with cold water and then he stuck a pick in there until I screamed. If I said I can feel what you are doing then I CAN FEEL WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!! Don't keep pushing until I see stars and want to lay you out on the floor and ask you if you felt my fist breaking your jaw!! So round two with more antibiotics cause the nerve is infected (duh obviously, my face was still swollen and my main meals are still ibuprofen). What's even better is if I react to these pills I could bleed to death through my a$$. And this could happen at any time for up to a month after stopping taking these pills! Isn't medical science great?
Okay I am done ranting now.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Don't you mean "I am done ranting FOR now"? -concept14
Aw, you poor thing! Tooth pain is so awful & then having people be a pain elsewhere on top of it. Hope the tooth gets better soon! -Tekkie
I swear most dentists are sadistic! -snowcrash
For me at least, tooth pain = Alleve (naproxen sodium). 2 x 220 mg tablets to start, 1 more every 8-10 hours depending on severity. Works better than ibuprofen or acetominephen (Advil and Tylenol respectively) and no nasty side-effects (cankersores for one). -virtualchoirboy
it's midnight, my tooth is killing and I am about to OD on the ibuprofen, ulcers be damned!!! But I have tomorrow off so I can rest and relax and training on Thursday so no starfish for 2 days!! (well except for those I work with LOL) -frprinterwiz
oh ya, and I am in Canada so Alleve is not available without a prescription here :( This is one of those times when I almost (note I say almost) wish I was still drinking or using, at least I could get rid of the pain of my tooth but I would only wind up waking up with a bigger pain in the morning, usually in the form of a new unwanted boyfriend, although I probably wanted him at the time LOL -frprinterwiz
Medical science? Bah! It's hardly a science. There's a reason that doctors have to pratice all their lives... -scooby111
Wife had similar a while ago... dentist here gave her a prescription for some specific pain reliever/antibiotics... then said he was going out for the weekend and gave her his *cell* number... because the reaction to the drugs could be pretty severe. How freaked out do you think you are to take them then? -namor
<animal house>"My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily." "Trust him hes in pre-med." "I thought it was pre-law?" "Same difference."</animal house> -ewspy87
Anybody remember Little Shop of Horrors and the song about becoming a dentist? Saw it about 20 or so years ago... -ltu1542hvy
lol... i remember that song :) it goes side by side with the men in tights theme song :P -CrystalMare
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110.
I finally got one of those!!!
I had a call today that in the end left me smiling. I spent an hour on the phone with a guy setting up one printer to work on three computers all with different OS. This guy was essentially clueless about network printers but was actually able to follow directions and read only the relevant parts on screen. At the end of the call he asked to speak to my manager.
My first reaction was what the hell have I done wrong?? Turns out he just wanted to say what a pleasant experience it was and how I was calm and helpful all throughout and didn't get upset when we had problems (one of the OS was WinME, a problem in itself).
After my manager spoke to him he says thanks a lot for the extra paperwork and I was like huh? Turns out whenever a starfishes gives praise they have to fill out a good job done form and put it in our files.
Top it all off I only took 2 calls all day and got paid for an hour of selling 50/50 tickets. Yes I am one of those perky people always trying to get you involved in draws, dinners, dances, fundraisers etc.. I'm really easy to spot coming too with my green hair although the use of helium balloons on the call floor might be banned now cause one of them popped and sent people diving under their desks LOL
Glad today was good because tomorrow after work I have to go have two wisdom teeth pulled. I booked Wednesday off to recuperate and then they put me in training for Thursday. Hopefully by Friday I will be able to talk properly again. Have a good one all!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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"Wwhen you speak French, it drives me wild, Cara Mia!" </Gomez Addams> -LaserGuru
If I *had* hair... And I'm one of those people impossible to pry any extra out of. :) -namor
good luck. had all four taken a few months back. they gave me some *good* drugs. told me to count backwards from ten. after 8, i was waking up in another room . . . :) -goblin69
goblin: ya got anymore? if not, frprinterwiz ya wanna share? -omegawolf
hmm, maybe if i broke a tooth in half. then, when they do my bridge-work, i can be like, an oral surgeon's drug pimp. yeah! LOL -goblin69
Friend of mine broke a tooth over a weekend when the Dentists were closed. He went to the A&E who told him sorry they did not have a dentist and would only call one out if someone was invovled in a car crash (or similar) and needed attension. He seriously considered driving his car into a lamp post on the hospital car park and then demanding they call out their dentist. -Zoomer
sorry guys, no good drugs here, gave those up years ago as it was causing a major case of starfishitis. All I am getting is the area frozen and all I can take for the pain is Ibuprofen. -frprinterwiz
Starfishitis? Inflammation of the starfish? </dictionary rant> Actually, that's better than impacted starfish, I suppose... -chazz
dry starfish is the worst, after you've had them pulled...er, what was I rambling about? -snowcrash
Hopefully getting your wisdom teeth won't be as painful as it was for me, when i get mine pulled for all 4 they had to drill out part of my jaw bone as the teeth were never going to form above them just under. -EUSoulStealer
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111.
OMG
that's what I was mouthing for the entire 85 minute call I did that went an hour over the extra hour I had already stayed for. This guy sounded old and drunk. Had upgraded from 98 to Windows HP or whatever the "newest fangled thing there was". His complaint..my driver settings look different and I can't duplex.
Ok, no problem you have MS drivers not HP drivers..let's install the HP drivers. I knew I was seriously in trouble when I said let's go to HP.com and download the new drivers and he asked how do we do that? So half an hour later we get the new drivers downloaded with patient step by step instructions that a two year old could follow. Amazingly enough he goes through the add printer wizard without too much trouble except for the concept of locating the drivers on his hard drive. Get the drivers installed and configured and he can now duplex and they look like what he is used to
Mind you I took every shortcut I wasn't supposed to with this customer. We normally have a very specific way of setting up printers that most people can do. I just knew that he wasn't most people. Especially when he thought his scroll bar was his status bar for the download that he hadn't even started. OMG
Is this the end? NO, now we have to set up custom size pages which I finally manage to do because at the end he realizes that "these drivers are just like my old ones, I can set them up the same way".. About this time my head hits the desk but I'm thinking I am seeing the end of the tunnel. It was just the train coming the other way. I then spent half an hour educating the luser on how many pages he can print before he has to change anything and etc etc etc..
Finally he decides that he has taken up enough of my time. Only took another ten minutes to say good bye. Mind you he thanked me profusely and told me what a wonderful job I had did and remarked on how patient I was. So I encouraged him to call back anytime he has any questions on how to use his printer. The odds of me getting him again are very slim since I only do english calls when their queue is busy and I love my cow-orkers
Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, a payday and I get to wear my new TSC shirt to work!!!!
[By: frprinterwiz]
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Bye bye ACT... -scooby111
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112.
One of those days or I am a f*cktard
Yay it's Friday, it's payday, all should be well in the world. I took a grand total of 3 calls today and got off early. I should be exstatic right? WRONG
call 1 - possessed printer that I wound up just telling him to replace every part I could think of that might be causing the problem - 2 hour call
call 2 - how do I change my toner cartridge? took 20 min to have her figure out how to open the top cover. RTFM!!!!!
call 3 - 5 min of listening to a luser scream about a part that doesn't exist for a printer that I support that she claims there is no support for. Finally told her the part doesn't exist and she hung up but not after making my ear drum almost bleed!!
I was so flustered that when I went to the bank to open a joint checking account for a committee I am on I insisted my address was 720 even though 3 pieces of id said otherwise and when I got home somebody changed the number on my building to match what was on my id's. Oh and Hawk, that explains why I haven't got my t-shirt - I'll be emailing you later when I come out from under my desk again when I get over my embarrassment.
[By: frprinterwiz]
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You must be going INSANE. *whistles innocently, hides hammer and building numbers behind back* -KickahaOta
Time for a chemical lobotomy. Administered orally. -scooby111
starts walking slowly towards *frprinterwiz w/ the open side of a straight-jacket* It's going to be OOOOOKKKKKKKK..... -duckhead
(Hypnotizes frprinterwiz into unconsciousness while duckhead puts the straitjacket on.) Just relax, it'll be all better soon. -TechnoVampire
Naw, yer not goin' insane, just stressed. If you were goin' *insane*, you wouldn't know, now would you? <grin> -CTYankee
*takes a hard drag on a J* ...."EAR"....*coughs* -burrkiss
Ahhh, another who knows the joys of printer tech support! -LaserGuru
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113.
Happy Friday the 13th
so I really I didn't want to go to work today. Figured with the date that it would be even worse than usual. I wound up being pleasantly surprised. The starfish were friendly and pleasant and said thankyou and did what they were supposed to and the techs treated me with the respect I deserve!!
So it looks like this Firday the 13th was a lucky one for me. Including the fact that I got off early on VDT!! Hope everyone else had an excellent day!
PS I know Monday is Presidents Day in the states. How much is really closed for this holiday besides banks and the government?
[By: frprinterwiz]
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We will not be closed for dead presidents, although supposedly we work for them. hehehe -FrontSideBus
We're actually closed for dead presidents. Our next vacation day is Memorial Day. :-( This, of course, is why I'm taking long weekends randomly between now and then. :-) -pixel
Wake up you're dreaming. -scooby111
Pixel: I would do the same but I'm greedy with my benefit time. Nothing like having 3 floating holidays left and its the end of the year. time it right and you can be off work with pay from X-mas through New Years without using your vacation time ;-) -FrontSideBus
Ah, one of the joys of working on a government contract :) -Hellion
We have a President's day???? Actually it just means, no mail, no banks, and the federalies get a day off... -duckhead
So if a normal day is a nightmare with "customers", then Friday the 13th must mean the opposite. Hmmm. A reverse curse...! ;) -snowcrash
We are not closed for Presidents Day, so I'm taking a sick day. Yay! -phsspok
I work for a medical group and we're closed on Monday. Mostly retail stores are open, lots of President's Day Sales. -Starfury
I've always had good experiences with Friday the 13th. I mean, today, call volume is low, I'm making 4 hours overtime, and all but one of my calls have involved no troubleshooting whatsoever. On top of that, I got to waste about an hour and a half in training for a tool that won't be available til the 28th. Today is turning out pretty well. Add that to the fact that I'm outta here in, like, 10 minutes... -GothKat
Actually the banks in my area are open on Presidents' Day this year. -shadowswing
We're open but most of the programs we support connect to the SEC an dthey are closed so i expect a slow day. -ewspy87
Our next scheduled holiday is THANKS-BLOODY-GIVING! Of course, since I am one of the computer operators, and not actually help desk, we don't even get that day off. The mainframe runs 24/7/365(366 this year), so do we. -Captain Trips
theres 364 days in a year and 365 this year.... you need a vacation -YellowDart
YellowDart...not to be TOO offensive, but what are you counting on? A Phallic abacus? 365 in a 'normal' year, 366 in a 'leap' year (means there's a Feb. 29th in the year) -CTYankee
Closed fro a holiday? Whats that? Hopefully my next job!! 10 more shifts and tech support is over? -AngelicTech
367 days in a double-leap year (Greater Sweden, 1712: http://www.safran-arts.com/42day/history/h4feb/h4feb30.html details this unique date) -EmleyMoor
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114.
I love my job :)
and I'm actually not being sarcastic about it this time LOL. I figured out that I got paid over $100 today to answer one phone call from a tech who couldn't look up a warranty expiration date. Wasn't his fault, that particular system took a dive this morning but since warranty verification is part of starting a case he has his answer before I had a case number for him. Call took maybe 2 minutes. Of course work got me back by subjecting me to a lovely web based training ppt presentation on a new web based support system that our eu's will be using come Feb. That should create a few million more calls to our center when the lusers can't figure out how to use it. Oh well, there was no mention of a french site so I won't be supporting it LOL
[By: frprinterwiz]
Comment on Story
Comments
your EU's must be dumb if they cant figure out a web based ppt.
1. have power point 2. click the link. 3 click to go forward pages....
TIMMAH! actually timmey can use photoshopp, see gay scouts episode of southpark. -putahtek
actually it was called Photowlz :) -Bunglehawk069
I use PhotoMall. It's bigger. -robbor
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115.
phantom jam or blind cu?
My first call of the day and it started out with problems, The printer that wasn't working was in the server room and customer (cu) called me from his office. Turns out they were testing the Halon system at the same time so he didn't want to stand there listening to the siren. No problem so we go through problem description and he goes off to do some more troubleshooting (tsing). We go back and forth like this for about 45 min when he comes back and says there is a phantom paper jam and he's going to transfer me into the room now because they are done testing so we can speed up the process a bit. Wonderful right? Call transfers successfully but about 3 seconds after that the alarms all start going off so it was about 3 minutes of listening to this shreaking alarm through headphones. After it finished I had cu tell me what the control panel said - Check under toner cartridge- so I ask did you check and he says yes so ok the sensor problably stuck so I ask him to take out the toner cartridge and look for paper inside the printer, he says no paper, I say look inside for the metal flap with a green handle with the number two on it (which he should have seen the first time he looked inside the printer, cu - The one with all the paper bunched up under it? mute - ARRRRRRRGGGGGGG unmute in time to hear the cu say I didn't realize you had to take the toner cartridge all the way out when it siad to look under it What's even worse is that after we found the reason for his original complaint I suggest that he transfer me back to his office so we don't have to keep listening to the sirens and he sends me straight to his vm cause he doesn't want to hold for another 5 minutes while I arrange to get his printer fixed. Gee I wonder if I remembered to actually released that case to tech dispatch hmmmmmm
[By: frprinterwiz]
Comment on Story
Comments
I hope you forgot! -FrontSideBus
Been there, done that. Try looking for a jammed transparency. -LaserGuru
But...but...LG, they're transparent!! Like, invisible or something! Aauuggghh! -Tekkie
I don't *see* your point (runs for his life from well-deserved deluge of LARTs) -CTYankee
*sets automatic LARTer for high speed firing -Bynar
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Customer Misconceptions
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1.
That entering new lats and longs into a modem doesn't mean you are moving it. Let's see - you moved the dish 20 meters to the other side of the building and took new location readings...what dictionary do you use to define the word move??
[2013-04-24]
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2.
Actually a management misconception. VOIP phones in a call center are a good idea. Currently sitting here for about 20 minutes now unable to take calls because a switch died. The back up switches can only handle re-establishing internet for the pc's as they don't have the needed whatever for managing the VOIP traffic. Is there a back up to connect to standard landlines? Yes but they didn't want to pay the price to install it...so I'll just sit here and keep watching my phone reboot while getting paid LOL
[2011-05-10]
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3.
that removing the Out of Order sign from a printer and then calling me and demanding I tell you what every button means and that I have to make this 6 year old out of warranty printer work right now is going to get you anywhere. He even made the hotel help person (this suctomer was in a hotel business center) get on the phone with me to fix the printer. She informed me that the replacement printer is already on order and thanked me for my time. I hope she reamed that arrogant pissant out big time after she got the phone away from him!!
[2008-11-12]
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4.
That the person in the office who has never used the printer or the computer in question should be the one to call tech support because they have the time to do it. Sure they have lots of time, to keep bugging you for answers to the questions I need in order to resolve your issue. Next time, call in yourself so we can have a nice intimate discussion instead of a noisy threeway, I'm an old fashioned kind of tech ya know?
[2008-10-31]
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5.
eu - I want to set my printer's default paper to executive paper. -me- What paper do you have loaded in the printer? -eu- Letter size -me- Then why do you want to set the printer to executive paper? -eu- Because I'm the executive secretary! -me- sound of my head hitting the desk
[2007-05-02]
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6.
multiple misconceptions --
A: That I know who Gerry is --
B: The when one document fails to print properly it's the printers fault when everything else works --
C: That I believe you when you say you already called Microsoft about MS Word --
D: That I give a rats ass your too stupid to think that maybe you should call american support for a printer in america instead of Japanese support because you are more comfortable in that language --
E: Again that I know who Gerry is (aside - we have NO Gerry on our team, no info in our system and he left her the generic company phone number that can't be used to reach any particular person) --
picture all this info in high pitched little old lady Japapese accent at about the same speed Foamy the squirrel rants at
[2006-09-28]
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7.
that when calling a company that produces probably a few hundred completely seperate products with dozens of various models of said products you can tell the voice recognition system that you have a computer or a printer and either it will psychically (sp?)guess the right version to get you to the right group or b that I support all printers (DJ, LJ, BIJ, OJ, AIO's MFP's etc...). AND to further that it is MY fault you got to the wrong group! Guess what group you get to talk to next? Yup Mr click and the Dialtones!
[2006-06-29]
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Tech Rules
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1.
Free coffee equals happy employees! Ok - so not really free - we will have to resupply when our initial gift runs out but my team is doing a happy dance as our boss got us our own coffee maker!! No more overspending on the gourmet Kuerig in the lunch room. Only took busting our butts and meeting all of our metrics for 6 months but we did it. Now we will slack off and see if they offer us a mini-fridge next!
[2012-11-23]
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2.
A company that feeds it's employees bacon is a good company to work for. Too bad they didn't schedule any naptime for afterwards.
[2012-03-30]
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3.
Thou shalt never let your network cabling look like this
http://www.vibrant.com/cable-messes.php
[2008-01-04]
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4.
When you ask for french support please speak in french. If your english is good enough to troubleshoot I will have to transfer you to English support. Just because I ask you to repeat something because you rattled it off like a machine gun on autofire or the background noise of a thousand other people on the phone makes your 2decible voice sound like a whisper even with the phone volume on max does not mean I do not speak French. Just because I live in Ontario and not in Quebec does not mean I can't understand you when you speak French. There are only 3 types of French I have a problem with - Acadian French because I don't speak Spanish, really Northern French (inuit french - it's still very close to old style parisian french and even our agent from Paris has problems understanding them) and if you start screaming and crying and cursing at me in French, I have a hard enough time deciphering english callers that are sobbing, suck it up and call me back when the flood is over!!! (this rant brought to you by members of the Canadia Wold Domination Team - google.ca is just the beginning, just the beginning <eg>
[2006-12-07]
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5.
That even if you dial the right number and give me all the right identifying numbers to prove you are a trained printer technician working for an authorized service provider, when you provide me with a company email address through AOL I will not take you or your company seriously.
[2006-02-06]
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6.
Upon receipt of your very first credit card ever the first purchase you shall make is a star at TSC.!! Isn't my star just dreamy?
[2004-02-06]
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Customer Types
1.
not a star fish
but close enough http://www.toddandpenguin.com/d/20030908.html
[2006-03-26]
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2.
I got a good one ppppllllltttttt!!!!!!!!
Just wanted to brag that I had a great caller today. Even though we spent two hours on the phone on top of the countless hours he had already spent working on his printer to get it going and it all turned out to be hardware in the end. In fact he was such a good customer and in the tech field himself I told him about our little hideaway here. So Charles from Georgia, I hope you check us out and enjoy yourself. Lart shelter to the right, starfish target practise is on the backfield and stick around for one of Swedish Chef's fabulous dinner parties!!!
[2005-09-27]
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3.
The explainer
This is the customer that while troubleshooting a hardware issue with his printer proceeds to try and educate me on every program they use, every file type they print, their entire network, the neighbours network and what the company kitchen looks like so I know exactly where his fax machine is. I should have let him know at the end of the call that he had probably just broken every confidentiality form he ever signed when he was hired as IT for this company. I certainly didn't have to worry about being QA'd as they never touch anything over 45 min and this call lasted 1 hr and 45 min. grrrrrr
[2004-01-06]
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Co-Worker Types
1.
The rarest type of all
The boss who shows he cares. Two days ago I got an e-mail from my new team lead. I've known this guy since he started here, nice guy. Don't have any real issues working under him. I opened it to find it was nothing more than an attachment. Open that to find that he had taken the time to make a cat macro (meme cat, lol cat what ever you want to call them) for me. I'll post it in the break room when I get home even though no one will really understand the humour behind it except for one or two people. It just really touched me that he did this. Especially since the only reason he knows I'm addicted to these pictures is that I break all the IT rules in hunting them down while I am supposed to be working (although not during calls, give me a break, I know better than that LOL). So here's a kudos post for my TM, for putting such a smile on my face!
[2007-06-22]
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2.
learn to rotate
before I teach you to do it on my finger!!! In the bathroom I heard someone ask for tp cause there was none left on the roll. After they left I had to check because we have 4 roll holders that when one is finished you turn the big grey nob that says "turn here for new roll". Our cleaning lady is awesome and I have never seen us lack for anything in the washrooms. Yup, 3 new rolls in the dispenser and it worked fine for me.
[2004-03-15]
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3.
OOW
no I'm not screaming in pain, we have an OOW group (out of warranty) and their sole reason for being is to start the case for us, charge the cu for support if appropriate and get a description of the problem. There are two bad types of these agents in particular
1 - doesn't speak english, can't spell or type and has po'd the cu so bad by the time I take the call I spend half my call promising to see that the agent who first took the call gets disciplinary action (and yes I have gone so far as to make sure it happens <eg>)
2 - when I open the case and read their notes to see what the customer is calling about it will say something so profound as printer won't print or cu wants tech support. Hmmm so that's why they called, thanks for letting me know, I thought they just wanted to order a pizza.
These people spent three weeks in training and were trained by people from my dept who moved 700 miles away to do this. This scares me. Especially when my boss's talk about what good agents these people were and what great trainers they are. I'm gonna go curl up under my desk now.... Happy Holidaze!!
[2003-12-23]
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Customer E-mails
1.
Subject: no subject - not a customer
but my very first diversion from the nigeria scam woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!---------------GREETINGS
I am KENNETH MORRIS . , an attorney at law. A deceased client of mine, that shares the same last name as yours, who here in after shall be referred to as my client, died as the result of a heart-related condition on March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th December 2004 in
Sumatra Indonesia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake i want you to recieve money on my behalf
I can be reached on (kenneth.morrislaw2000@yahoo.com.hk) for details -the best part is, that this was sent to an email address that does not contain nor does it have any reference to my last name!
[2009-01-27]
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2.
Subject: best irate email ever!!!
This was sent to the CEO of HP, customer name removed to protect the guilty ----oh - sorry no formatting, diapers are too expensive!!------------------------Dear Mr. Hurd,
I have written to you on this subject before, and I expect better of you since I have heard nothing. I bought an HP buisness inkjet 2300dtn a while back at a cost of about $800.00. The damned thing won't print because one ink cartridge has expired. I am pissed.
You got sued over this once, and lost.
I want a firmware update that allows me to use up my ink cartridges.
AND I WANT IT NOW!!
Failing that, I want to know where you office.
And, I want an appointment to meet with you.
I want to drive to your office, bring the printer with me, and shove it up your ass.
The printer measures 22" x 19" x 14" so I would suggest that you bring your own vaseline or KY Jelly since I don't plan on providing any lubrication.
I got this piece of shit shoved down my throat, and am having to swallow it.
I think its time that this product came back at you from the other direction.
[2008-11-20]
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EUPOTD (End User Phrase of the Day)
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1.
"Customer is not getting any action from the dealer" - what kind of service do our customers think our dealers provide????
[2012-08-30]
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2.
more of a last name of the day - FUCHSMEIER
[2012-07-04]
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3.
actually my phrase of the day "I think my ear just got raped by sandpaper"
[2009-09-04]
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4.
I apoligize for wasting your time. I found the problem. I am stupid -- truer words have never been spoken.
[2007-03-28]
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5.
well more like a reporters phrase of the day - The man is conscious and breathing. Ummmm how many conscious people do you know that aren't breathing?
[2007-02-14]
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6.
Willis, we have to screw it back up again -- she was trying to explain to her coworker that they needed to put the hard drive back in the printer again.
[2005-07-29]
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7.
replacing a fuser is not part of my job description and therefor is not covered by workman's comp insurance if I get hurt doing it. I want a tech NOWWWWWWW -- hey guess what a$$hat - your company signed the contract that states you are responsible for replacing this and if you manage to hurt yourself doing this you've moved from starfish status to amoeba (sp???)
[2004-10-04]
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8.
all from the same call - I did something stupid and I am hoping you can unstupify me.....I am so anal (when deciding what to name his printer - no that's not what he named it but at first I thought that's what he meant) then followed with I am such a pervert and finished with (after I fixed his problem) will you come live with me? This is a brand new printer, why do I feel like I am going to be spending many more days listening to his idea of funny?
[2004-01-27]
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