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Here is all the content that neuman1812 has contributed to Tech Support Comedy.

Tech Stories


1. Witness Protection
How would you do In witness protection as a non-geek. http://www.wired.com/video/latest-videos/latest/1815816633/alt-text-19-witness-protection/4667583001 <Video SFW
[By: neuman1812]
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Comments

  • I think I'd be ok. I mean, who'd believe that a big hairy biker knew anything about computers anyway ? Just get me a man-cave for my computers and keep the door locked. Besides, talking geek stuff with the straights is a whole lot of "no fun" -Spyder19
  • Given that I used to do order entry on a dumb terminal run on a version of System 36 that said it dated to 1968, but knew more about Windows 3.1, 95, and 98SE than that company's entire IT department put together, I could probably pretend to be a non-tech for extended periods.... pretending not to be a BBI would be another matter altogether. -lowlyte
  • Poorly. I'd be ok imitating an aging hippie...until someone tried to throw a laptop with a broken power jack in the trash. Then I'd be 'outed'! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Actually our "gentle biker" types are all set. All they'd have to do is transform themselves to a classic geek look, and they'd already be in disguise. And the tech knowledge would fit right in! -Voz
  • 2. WFH...
    Whats better than working from home during a snow storm? being the only one who made it into work! Lights off, music on. And I'm not scheduled to be on the phones today just email! ya me!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Y'all a bunch of lightweights. What you're getting is an average winter day, here. *bfeg* -Grue
  • "What's this 'snow storm' folks are talking about? It's clear and sunny where I am... 36F outside, but still clear and sunny." [To the LART shelter, ManBat!] -VoiceOfSanity
  • Grue, it's average for here, too. *shrugs* Though I almost wish I'd attempted to go in- me and Chris both working from home at the same time? Ugh is an understatement. -taieena
  • I keep hearing about this "snow storm" thing but have never seen one. We just have rain. -Starfury
  • What snow? It was 79F at 10am today. -atomicbill
  • What is this 'snow' you speak of. -DarkRookie
  • umm snow storm.. snow storm - thats like 4 feet a minute or higher right? breeze around 200 MPH? blowing frozen hydrogen rain? - sorry - none of those. I've ben known to show up to work in horrid conditions - unless the person i have to rely on for a ride ends up in the ditch / dealership/ in a towtruck / decided "screw it...." -Harm
  • 3. Too Stupid is now a defense
    http://www.eagletribune.com/punews/local_story_057020643.html -"Despite a long police record and a history of violent outbursts and assaults, Superior Court Judge Howard Whitehead on Tuesday released Falardeau back onto the streets, saying his cases would never go to trial because his learning disabilities prevented him from understanding the proceedings or assisting in his own defense. Falardeau, unlike most people who are found incompetent, is not mentally ill, but has an IQ that borders on mental retardation."
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • So half the population is too mentally handicapped to understand the process...Makes sense now. -Olorin
  • *facepalm* -Seamus
  • "He also told psychiatrists that his favorite activity is drinking at bars." Welll, go figure why Sir Slap'dnutz's IQ is low--he drank it down. -vacuumtubes
  • Too stupid to know that killing is wrong? Fuck him. Put a goddman bullet in his head. I have no sympathy for this asshole. -JoeLugian
  • Olorin - you're being too optimistic by about half... -PTSTech
  • oh god...... -AdmiralLaurie
  • The evolutionary process for homo sapiens has not only grind to a halt, it's being reversed. *Grabs towel & sticks thumb in air* Vogon poetry has *got* to be better than living on this rock... -RiffRaff
  • Obviously the judge has not been aquanted with my saying. "Teach the ignorant, shoot the stupid." He has obviously been found stupid in a court of law, therefor....... -Belunar
  • Smart enough to break the law, smart enough to accept the punishment. -Icelator
  • Bs and Cs in highschool - but "incompetent to stand trial". Bullshit. That judge should be removed from the bench. Hope his attorneys sleep real well tonight, knowing they put a dangerous and violent POS back on the streets via a 'technicality' . -Zimmerit
  • And this is why I believe judges need to be held accountable for their decisions... -unrenowned
  • They've lowered the standards in American schools to the point where you only need to score %20 to get a C -Spyder19
  • Only 20% now. Damn when I was in school it was 70% -DarkRookie
  • What should happen in cases like this is that the Judge should be made to have him as a house guest -Zoomer
  • I wrote about a dozen different comments, and didn't submit them. That story just hit way too close to home. Could be the same mouth-breathing goon for all I know. -ThinTheHerd
  • "I have a learning disability. If you think I'm going to remember these questions in court, it ain't happening," Falardeau allegedly told police. -illiterate
  • Too stupid to stand trial should equal too stupid to remain in the gene pool. -LazyLemming
  • "they never found any programs appropriate for someone like Falardeau, and no funding to start one." How much does a bullet cost? -Stryker One
  • The human herd needs culling! -atomicbill
  • 4. Politics VS Technology
    Normally I'd Put this in the Break room. But this deserves a wider audience. Another case of when politicians have no idea about the technology they are going after "Translated, the Internet Safety Act applies not just to AT&T, Comcast, Verizon, and so on--but also to the tens of millions of HOMES with Wi-Fi access points or wired routers that use the standard method of dynamically assigning temporary addresses. "
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • The Link to the story http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10168114-38.html -neuman1812
  • Does anyone know of a good DSL router that has the capibility of logging DHCP information for 2 years assuming a minimum of 50 leases/day? oh wait, I'm in Canada, never mind... -garwain
  • I use static addresses at home. One more layer of security. -Amicuspicarum
  • ...and people will still blame Bush for it... :-) -vacuumtubes
  • "Internet Stopping Adults Facilitating the Exploitation of Today's Youth Act"? What an awesome name! How about the "Bunch Of Mindless Jerks Trying To Control Something They Don't Understand And Will Be The First Against The Wall When The Revolution Comes Act"? -Seamus
  • They've learned to slap the label "..Its for the children" on it. Who would appose that? politic:My opponent wants(insert scum of the day) to contact your children without you ever knowing. Do you want to vote for him now?!?! -neuman1812
  • How the HELL do they plan to enforce it in homes? -Dreamstalker
  • VT- Bush's AG appointment, Bush's responsibility. Time Politico's took charge of doing it right, not just "we need a minority in here to show we'uns taint still rich whit racists." -HappyCrappy
  • Well, I think the stock traders have the right idea. Lets join them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT306eEiyLI -adarklite
  • 5. Notes!
    They want notes... they got notes. yesterday in a team meeting they talked about us not putting in enough notes on our tickets. Today is CYA day. EVERYTHING that happened is being put in the notes. TSMIF!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • 9:07 - 4 minutes into call - yawned -ActingUpAgain
  • 11:37 - 7 minutes into call - scratched nuts -ActingUpAgain
  • 3:56 - 1 minute into call - put client on hold and laughed uncontrollably - lasted total 93 seconds -ActingUpAgain
  • 5:17 minutes into the call - began licking a cigarette. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 0:10 into call rolled eyes 2:30 into call put fingers in mouth to simulate a fatal self-inflicted gun shot wound -areatech
  • "We want notes. Clear, concise, to the point, notes. Not novels." And then we wonder why we can't read them. -MadJack
  • 7:15 1.5 minutes into call: technician took morning mind-numbing medication along with several prescription pain medication. was able to understand the end-user better. technician seriously considered becoming a stripper for the male and female members of tsc.... eh, I'll be going back to bed now.... -AdmiralLaurie
  • AL- Don't tease like that. Getting our hopes up... among other things. -themaxx
  • 23:34 -37 minutes into call. Technician puts customer on mute and begins sobbing uncontrollably. -42 minutes into call, Technician commits Hari-Kiri. -themaxx
  • 4:53 into the call - Technician explained to EU - in intricate detail - how to carefully and precisely hydrate one's PSU. -Seamus
  • *lol* I felt like asking in the meeting, neuman, if my books that I write in my tickets isn't enough, then can we have a word minimum with counter to ensure we're leaving enough detail! I was good, I think; I don't think anyone saw me rolling my eyes or fidgeting more than normal. -taieena
  • 27 minutes into call, tech scratches left asscheek and begins working on the Great American Flip-Book in the margins of his tech manual. -Darkridr
  • 34 minutes - Tech wishes to retain any/all braincells that haven't been lost already on call, so transfers call to Marketing dept. & begins to laugh, uncontrollably. -lineswine
  • 8:48 into call, see a pretty light and dead relatives beckoning. -Antacid
  • Heh. Been there, done that. Started writing _War and Peace_ in the tickets, then slowly whittled it down and down and down... got to the point where most tickets were a three-sentence copy-n-paste from a personal template archive before management murmured, and even then they couldn't point to anything I'd actually *missed*, so for the rest of the time I worked there, 95% of my logs took me about two seconds apiece. -Geminii
  • 6. OMGOMGOMGOMG
    OBamagasm!OBamagasm!OBamagasm!OBamagasm! Must watch Inauguration!!! Cannot do work. Need to install Flash, Windows media, Tin can and string so i can watch live on web!!! I dont care if the traffic will bring down the network. Im GOD, Manager, Director, Consultant on 3 day term, YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS NOW!!!!!! Farkers all of them. This happens every 4 years. I'll watch the replay which Im sure all the major networks will be showing for the next 48hrs. Now, back to my webcomics.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Yeah, same thing here. Of course, since this is a Federal Agency, the ObamaLlamas get to watch the inauguration & festivities on the Training Room projectors as well as the one in the break room. It's not like there's supposed to be any WORK done today, y'know. *growl* -Grue
  • It's on TV right now in our Conference room. Tons of folks in there now. This IS a historic occasion, after all - being the first black president to be sworn in. History in the making, folks! -JoeLugian
  • Our firewall policies (not set by us) block streaming video and audio. We do have it on a projector in the conference room, though. -TechieSidhe
  • Same thing here, and we're not even in the US. When I ask if they would watch a Canadian inauguration, I have yet to hear a single 'Yes'. -Evan
  • the cacaphony in here is painful, with different streams from different networks being played at peoples' desks. -illiterate
  • Yup, here the hens be gobbling too. Conference room...pfft, won't see me there. *Goes back to watching movies*. -Kiddingme
  • Who?? -starfishmagnet
  • Well, at least being unemployed has one thing for it: You can watch the inauguration at home. Hey, look at it this way: Dubya is O-U-T, and Gen X is is in the White House! -MadJack
  • Streaming media is normally blocked here, but I was able to get it on my PC. The laptop we tried with a wireless connection kept skipping and stuttering. All three of us were rivited. -sassicatz
  • Gee, we just timed our lunch to coincide with the inauguration and speech and went to a sports bar that had it on the big screen TVs. -RiffRaff
  • I'll catch the replay on TiVo... -unrenowned
  • ThePartsGuy streamed it on the big screen tv on the showroom floor. TheBoss allowed it -Spyder19
  • The subtext to his inaugural speech was "Gee, I hope the white supremacists don't shoot me today" -lineswine
  • 7. What can Brown do for you?
    So UPS wont deliver Wine to my state but they will deliver 1ton of pot? http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=FA39CA541F534947567646C761102A13?contentId=8034513&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • now THAT'S what i call service!!!! -duckhead
  • to be fair to UPS, it wasn't an actual UPS truck, but rather a 'cloned' truck. -flapjackboy
  • The UPS hub is here in Louisville, KY. Try to get bourbon instead. -ActingUpAgain
  • There are all kinds of state and federal regulations on shipping alcohol - mostly state. My state (Minnesota) has a system set up where they basically collect taxes three times on one bottle of wine, and they don't want their system messed with. -thx1138
  • Yeah, but it's brown weed. Gaaaahhhhgggghhhh! -billybien
  • Oh, there it is! Stupid UPS driver delivered to the wrong address again....oh well. Back to cough syrup for me. -Biosynthetic
  • Wine bottles are glass and won't survive their four-foot drop allowance. :-| -vacuumtubes
  • oh well, fedex and dhl trucks will be easier to clone anyway, no reflecto decals. -stiffarm
  • But, DHL trucks are all being redone as UPS trucks. -MadJack
  • 8. Another one Bites the dust
    It must be the week of cats. My 19 year old Calico Patches died this morning. She was up at 5:30 begging for food, I went back to bed to catch a few more zzz's at 6:45 we found her huddled next to the heater. -On a lighter note, the temperature is up today, so we can dig without hitting frozen ground tonight.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Sorry for your loss. -Gunpe
  • I'm sorry to hear that, friend. -Grue
  • *hugs* Sorry to hear that... -Ara
  • Awwwww. May she rest in peace. Condolences(sp?) -AdmiralLaurie
  • Condolences to your and yours - -Ulfgaard
  • Sorry for your loss. -RandalGraves
  • Awwwww, sorry to hear that. -rosemetal
  • condolences -compbrat
  • My condolences *HUGS* -Dreamstalker
  • Deepest sympathies on your loss from House of Hats. -ManyHats
  • condolences..... -beatmewithstick
  • Sorry to hear that. -TechnoVampire
  • condolences boss... -iamscoop
  • Sorry for your loss. Have a client (nice lady) who's older cat is just about there. She ended up getting a semi-feral stray who is a hoot (shy right now, but I expect the next time I visit my lap will become his seat for as long as I'm fixing the box) -CTYankee
  • Bury....... what? The chinese restaurants around here pay $15 a head for puddy tat. -randyskier
  • Deepest sympathies. -ecoli
  • Very sad. Still, 19 years is a long time for a cat. Treasure those memories. -thx1138
  • Our fuzzball McGriff is just shy of 18 and starting to show his age, but still hanging in there. Treasure your memories, I'm sure she had a good life. -Dreamstalker
  • (-_-) -ShujinTribble
  • 9. For BT and AL
    And all our other visually redacted friends. http://linux.softpedia.com/get/Adaptive-Technologies/Vibuntu-43337.shtml A customized version of Ubuntu for visually impaired users Vibuntu is a Linux distribution based on Ubuntu 8.10 (Intrepid Ibex), designed especially for visually impaired users.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • That's much better than Windows for the Slightly-Dead. I think it's discriminatory that operating systems don't support Zombies, just because they eat flesh. I mean, really! -Biosynthetic
  • I can't see installing that on my system! -billybien
  • Am I the only one that saw "softpedia...." in the address and thought of soft-core prOn? -Daywalker
  • Softpedia - is the participation of underage goatlets implied? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • dankee much, Neuman! I'm downloading it now and will have a cd to test it on later tonight. maybe I can pitch vista off this box entirely! -AdmiralLaurie
  • 10. New TLD's
    we need to poll our resources and get a TLD .techcomedy or .starfish ? http://www.icann.org/en/announcements/announcement-2-23oct08-en.htm
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I polled my resources, and they voted for Bill the Cat. *grin* -Darkridr
  • OPUS FOR VEEP!! (Well, he's gotta actually DO something now, doesn't he? EG) -MadJack
  • A new TLD? ".TSC", of course! *opens wallet to check on cash, but ducks the moth that flutters out instead* -Voz
  • Nah, how about .otis or .lart? -32KofRAM
  • .redswingline -billybien
  • I thought that TLD stood for Thermo Luminicent Docimiter. -atomicbill
  • Definitely Thermo-Luminescent Dosimeter for us nuke folks. -nuqlar
  • 11. Good <diety> Aussies are weird
    I was thinking of moving to AU to get away from the politics here when I stumbled across this story. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24540399-5009760,00.html <sfw> Forget it now, thats straight from my nightmares
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • And here I was thinking about visiting Oz on day. Now...maybe not. -justcrazy
  • Aww, he's cute. -veaudaux
  • WANT! -Tarantulus
  • I'll take my chances with the spiders if McSame and Caribou Barbie manage to win. -SirJosh
  • Almost like the Preying Mantis eating the Hummingbird that was posted some time ago. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • That is wrong in so many ways...I really don't like spiders and this didn't help. -Starfury
  • Did you not see Skippy's List today? http://skippyslist.com/2008/10/22/rule-18/ -BarmanVarn
  • We have another spider called a Bird eating spider. http://www.gedcasserley.saddleworth.net/assets/images/Jess21.jpg -robbor
  • Must've wanted Thanksgiving a month early. Juh-heeezus, that gives me the heebie-jeebies.... -vacuumtubes
  • Nah...go to Canada and see species like this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc -Biosynthetic
  • "...he had seen golden orb weaver spiders as big as a human hand but the northern species in tropical areas were known to grow larger." eeeehhhheeeehhhh! -Captain Trips
  • "Croikey! Now she's a beaut!" (I can't believe no one's said it yet...) -Frazzled
  • "Damn, thats a big fuckin' spider!" </obligatory> -MadJack
  • Now you know, "Eight legged freaks" was a documentary.</BFG> We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes, emus & kangaroos that can disembowel you and kick you to death, jellyfish that can kill you & leave survivors scarred for life, black-widows (called red-backs here), funnel-web spiders with fangs that are able to pierce the nail on a big toe, sea-snakes, sharks, ants as long as your thumb, the lowest rainfall of any inhabited continent and you're worried about one gentle little spider that only eats what gets trapped in it's web. Pah, wimps. -AussieFoot
  • AussieFoot - you forgot tourist devouring crocs and blue ringed occies. <BFEG> -macbeth
  • Thats why you come to the right side of the ditch - New Zealand - no snakes or any deadlies and almost no flies :p -CSurfer
  • AU sounds about normal... I'm just right here in Alabama. Now that it's getting cooler here (FINALLY!) I've removed two Diamond Backs and killed about a dozen Black Widows and Brown Recluse that are strolling into my house for warmth. -TechnoTherapist
  • 12. Is Foamy ok?
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,438546,00.html <SFW
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • He got fired -billybien
  • "about 200 customers might have noticed their electricity flicker when the squirrel shorted out the high-voltage power line" Great, now I'll wonder every time my power flickers. -Stryker One
  • ".....DAMNIT!!"</Foamy> -ShujinTribble
  • That is just plain funny! Poor Foamy, but damn, that's funny! -taieena
  • "But the incident did not cause a power outage."--'cept for the tree rat -stiffarm
  • Foamy will be changing his name to 'Crispy'. -MeanDean
  • That same thing happened on my street last year, except we did loose power after the squirrel shorted the transformer. -Gunpe
  • Gun - I'm wondering how the transformer got shorts on in the first place? ...and were they BVD's? ..and was it Rodimus Prime? -ShujinTribble
  • 13. its everywhere!
    During my recent honeymoon, we stayed in Napa Valley, while taking a tour of downtown we ran across this little restaurant http://www.ubuntunapa.com/ I missed the chance to take a snapshot of it. Funny thing was, my wife saw it before me and started laughing, that made me look.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • ...so if you wanted to start your own, would they let you copy it and take it with you? -ShujinTribble
  • Did you visit Healdsburg? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • TDD: drove though it or had someone drive us, I cant remember there were to many wineries that had free tastings! -neuman1812
  • Do you have to go through synaptic to order food? -billybien
  • I will actually be in Napa later this week - I'll have to keep an eye out for this place and take a picture if I find it. -DreadPirate
  • Umm ... so Nelson Mandella uses it too ? -Necros
  • DP; its either Main St or Pearl St, I forgot. But its a kinda small and the U is shaped weird. -neuman1812
  • Sudo make me a sandwich! -Olivaw
  • I wouldn't eat there. Particularly, if the food is brown. 0_0 -TheGhost
  • Try the Feisty Fawn...I hear it is delicious! -lineswine
  • 14. A first
    This past Sat I had a first. At 28 years old. I did my first official keg stand. 4-5 more soon followed.....Im not quite sure how many. This coming Friday I get to do it all over. My Groomsmen decided I needed 2 bachelors parties...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Cngrats! *passes aspirin and water* -maven
  • Just remember, its not how many stands you do, its how long you can hold it for that matters... 45 seconds is my record; after that the muscles in my arms gave out (I could have chugged longer but nobody was helping me stay in the air). -unrenowned
  • my first attempt was only 5 sec, I was told I lasted about 30sec on another attempt later that night. -neuman1812
  • my first attempt was only 5 sec, I was told I lasted about 30sec on another attempt later that night. -neuman1812
  • gah FIRFOX! -neuman1812
  • Awesome!!! I will Keg stand for you also this weekend -LowLevelFormat
  • er...is this some kind of Frat Boy thing? -lineswine
  • ls - apparently it involves others helping you consume more beer than you could manage all on your own. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • i'm envisaging someone doing a handstand while drinking beer from a keg - is this the right general idea? -Shaede
  • Shaede - Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. -redevil34
  • wiki to the rescue http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keg_stand -neuman1812
  • 15. Let me off!
    <SFW> http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080911-committee-amends-approves-enormous-gift-to-big-content.html "they would even seize computers (such as servers or database farms) that house the data of innocent people, and these people would not have any right to get their data back".... Ok I'm moving to Antarctica and starting my own country.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Like many other well-intention efforts to satisfy influential interests, this one will do its part to initiate legal cases that will eventually provide for some reasonable restrictions along with potentially effective enforcement. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • And Peyton Place wonders why I refuse to store data on any server that's not under my direct control. -RiffRaff
  • That is actually scary, when you look at this: http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080814-first-look-wuala-online-p2p-backup-service-makes-us-nervous.html -harrellj
  • "Oh, look at that Bob, after that law passed, all the shared hosting businesses in the USA slowly died as people put their stuff overseas. I dunno why that happened, do you?" -NightRain
  • 16. How to open a book.
    Found this on youtube <SFW> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueO0o8BwsmI
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I've seen that before but it's a total hoot to see again. Thanks for posting it! -Tekkie
  • Medieval technical support! I put that on machines I build in order to introduce myself! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Wonderful! Glad to that the stupidity of starfish transcends even time itself. -MothMonsterMan
  • 17. More LHC fun!
    After reading this post http://techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=76963 One image came to mind. A scientist at the LHC standing in front of a bank of computers, in the middle a red button labeled Start. Just before hitting the red button he says "Hey guys look what I can do...."
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • And 10 seconds later he says "Oh shit" -Spyder19
  • The LHC is controlled by Macs running Linux via VMWare's Fusion software! -Caboose447
  • How about, "Hold my beer and watch this!" -NightSteel
  • s/beer/coffee/ -Chromatix
  • "Don't touch that! It's the History Eraser button!" -Biosynthetic
  • 5...4...3...2...1...*presses button, nothing happens* "Right, let's try that again". (That's what REALLY happened) -lineswine
  • 18. Jesus and Microsoft?
    http://failblog.org/2008/08/28/religion-fail/
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • *snerks* -Seamyst
  • Hahahahahahahhaaaa. -rosemetal
  • I saw something like that on the big screen at Times Square in NY but it was a MAC. LOL -formatCdrive
  • Proof positive that M$ is evil. -Grembo
  • read the comments :-D -ThinTheHerd
  • 19. Remedy.
    Our company Just switched over to Remedy Call taking.. please shoot me
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • At least you are not on something called 4D? -Blue3c
  • if you insist. i do not find it to horably bad - but we have secrets we will not tell about -compbrat
  • I'm sorry as well. We run it in a Citrix Environment. Sucks. -computerdoc
  • neuman, it's not THAT bad.... *snickering* I made it through the day with a few laughs. :P -taieena
  • I've worked with a number of systems, each with a number of benefits and drawbacks. If the implementation needs match the feature-set, things work great. My personal best - MS Great Plains for a company of about 30 intended to take calls from about 30 external clients. Talk about overhead... -racermd
  • at least you're not using vantive. -HappyCrappy
  • Dellserv. 'Nuff said. -MadJack
  • I have used a number of ticketing sysytems and the worst one I used was Oracle, although this isn't saying much Remedy is the best but our remedy development team is awesome -- oh and like compbrat we have secrets we will not talk about either. -raneshem
  • I'm currently using both Remedy and Clarify. I see pros and cons with both. -harrellj
  • raneshem: if that was Oracle, I'd hate to see a ticketing system on SAP! -MadJack
  • 20. "the norm of reciprocity"
    The title of the story is taken direct from this link. http://consumerist.com/5038418/preemptively-praise-customer-service-reps-and-they-will-do-your-bidding "You've offered to do a favor for that person, so now that person is going to be motivated to return the favor" Does this sound like anything else to anyone...Like A famous quote from a long time ago...someone said. Might be referred as some sort of rule...like the bronze rule..or silver rule? Sounds sooooo familiar I just dont know what it is
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Sorry, copper rustlers stole the Golden Rule for its scrap value. They gotta keep that crack habit up. -vacuumtubes
  • "Do you know what irony is, Balderic?" "I think so... It's sort of like goldy and bronzy, only it's made of iron." /Blackadder -Seamus
  • In Eric Frank Russells book "The Great Explosion" there is a society that lives under what they call "Myobs" which stands for my obligation, no money but if you do something for someone else then another person will do something for you. Russell explains it better (and FAR more humourously) -Zoomer
  • Red Green called it, "Payback Work", iirc. -ShujinTribble
  • This last section of the last sentence is another thing sooooo many users don't understand "not being an ass is one of single best ways to solve problems." -Ramblin
  • Zoomer: The currency of that world was the "ob" or "obligation". "Myob" is the abbreviation of "Mind your own business" and is a polite way of telling the inquisitor to go away. -chazz
  • Pay it forward bitch! -unrenowned
  • 21. Gahh!!!
    "Federal agents may take a traveler's laptop or other electronic device to an off-site location for an unspecified period of time without any suspicion of wrongdoing, as part of border search policies the Department of Homeland Security recently disclosed. Also, officials may share copies of the laptop's contents with other agencies and private entities for language translation, data decryption, or other reasons, according to the policies, dated July 16 and issued by two DHS agencies, US Customs and Border Protection and US Immigration and Customs Enforcement... DHS officials said that the newly disclosed policies — which apply to anyone entering the country, including US citizens — are reasonable and necessary to prevent terrorism... The policies cover 'any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form,' including hard drives, flash drives, cell phones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover 'all papers and other written documentation,' including books, pamphlets and 'written materials commonly referred to as "pocket trash..."'" Thats it..I'm moving to the moon.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I think I am taking a trip out of the country, with a laptop that has an encrypted partition that is password protected. I will refuse to divulge said password and make them crack it. There will be nothing but a copy of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. -Slartarama
  • Fuck. Well, it's a good thing I keep nearly everything on an external hard drive anyway (home laptop). And it's not like the one project I'm working on (my thesis) could possibly be considered a threat to Homeland Insecurity - it's on Guinevere. -Seamyst
  • Sure, because you can blow up a building with digital information. Time to renew my ACLU membership. IIRC they're already fighting this bullshit in court. -thx1138
  • "without any suspicion of wrongdoing" is the part that worries me the most, and I'm not even thinking about considering ever visiting the US ... -Calydor
  • Are you lads really surprised? Cos i am, i am surprised this hasnt happened sooner. I wonder will they be doing cavity searches in case you have a flash drive secreted in your ass -starfishmagnet
  • Slartarame, you won't need a very large partition. The Constitution and Bill of Rights are a lot smaller than they were eight years ago. -Fuji
  • Everyone assume the position -- cuz if they don't find the flash drive where SFM referenced, they're going to shove the "terrorism prevention" BS up there. -FixitWench
  • I have only one thing to say. The terrorists have won. -neuman1812
  • Image the laptop. Send the image, on DVDs, with recovery disks, on ahead by postal mail. Wipe it clean and carry it across the border. Or, pull the hard drive and mail it to your destination in a padded envelope. Have I just discovered a large, gaping hole in the US "security"? -chazz
  • Shut up Chazz! Now they'll use that as an excuse to open all our mail. Thanks a lot! -edventure
  • *starts handing out flyers entitled Canada: Defection and You!* -RandalGraves
  • Randal - I'm seriously already tempted. I'm mainly waiting to see how the election goes, and then to finish my master's next May. -Seamyst
  • I like Randal's idea. I work right by the US/Canada tunnel... would't be a bad commute if I moved to Windsor. :-) -FixitWench
  • Chazz: That won't work. They'll just pull you because your laptop won't boot up to an OS. Maybe if you left a live Linux CD in the optical drive... Nah, they'd pull you because they didn't recognise the OS and it must be "One of them thar terrorist operamating systems." -flapjackboy
  • if you move to Canada, watch who you sit next to on the Greyhound! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I'm not typically one with a violent personality. But if an agent tried to do this to me, I'm pretty sure I'd start shooting up the place in the name of the 4th Amendment. -YourLastHope
  • Wow... who knew that Bush was the reincarnation of H*****, I wonder how soon the concentration camps will go up.... oh... ya, sorry for all those down in GB. Seriously, that's some disturbing bit of writing. Good thing I've now lost all desire to visit the US, but hey, we still have slightly stiffled FreeTrade with you! -spectreoflife
  • It gets worse. https://secure.aclu.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=993&page=UserAction 'Course, I don't believe were living under the Bush Administration, more like the Cheny Administration. -Stryker One
  • R.I.P. fourth ammendment, Habeaus Corpus, et al. You know, it's almost like anyone pro-Bill of Rights is a terrorist. -Slartarama
  • I tend to have faith in the big picture. Example- a few weeks back, the decision was handed down by the Supreme Court clarifying the right to Habeas Corpus in terrorism trials. So, the system starts to swing back the other way. Remember the "Cointelpro" programs back in the '60's and '70's? Snapped back against the FBI so hard they spent years under a yoke trying to get out from under _that_ shadow. The biggest threat of terror attack might be after the government agencies have pushed it too far, been castrated again by a future administration in response to that problem, and then we'll be back to not having enough coverage to catch the next 9/11. It really just comes down to overreact one way, then overreact the other way, then overreact the first way, then... They can't hit a middle ground that will let them get their job done without trying to get too much power! Just wait a little while- it'll whip back the other way. -Voz
  • If anyone has read "Brave New World", it is implied that people finally gave up on rights and just wanted the government to fix all of its issues. I believe that is where we are heading, to either a totally government controlled society or revolution, and many of us might live to see this revolution. Thomas Jefferson said that we needed a revolution every 200 years to control the power of the federal government. On that account, we are over due. (These comments are not deemed to imply I am a terrorist or support terrorist activities. I just state historical and literary facts) Homeland Security Disclaimer -techinator
  • When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. -Phylok
  • 22. ok Im bored...
    I've run out of things to read on the interwebs! Whats your favorite site to read (besides TSC) ?
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • http://www.fark.com ? -McSmiley
  • If I get an email address posting this comment, I will send you my bookmarks file to it (plain clickable html). If else, email me http://mailhide.recaptcha.net/d?k=012KlNTaksfCkj4mk49lIqVA==&c=mmqsO8cyZUgdxUX7kWdecxuWKVXSlgYqIG8iGhqO1WU= or http://mailhide.recaptcha.net/d?k=012KlNTaksfCkj4mk49lIqVA==&c=xe4-YDdcHDTQSd_fM7zjgz9nDVWVQNbwql6V7rDmZns= so I can send it to you. -linuxmatt
  • www.belfry.com - zillions of online 'furry' comics. Some of them are utterly fantastic! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • linuxmatt - got it thanks! Most of these I already have but there are a few new ones to check out. -neuman1812
  • FARK? -Grayhawk
  • In addition to the standards like Fark and Slashdot, I've grown to like http://www.techdirt.com/ and http://recordingindustryvspeople.blogspot.com/ . The latter is so I can keep up on the music sharing lawsuits from a defendants point of view. -virtualchoirboy
  • www.notalwaysright.com is worth keeping up with. -Gromit
  • http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ http://www.darkroastedblend.com/ -Zoomer
  • Let us not forget customerssuck.com -Captain Trips
  • http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/ Caution, contains starfish. -Rissa
  • http://stuffonmycat.com/ -atomicbill
  • http://www.theonion.com/content/index http://www.theregister.co.uk/ -BarmanVarn
  • and how could I forget one of my old faves...."Things My Girlfriend and I have Argued About" http://www.mil-millington.com/ -BarmanVarn
  • There are a few webcomics I follow : http://www.ozyandmillie.org/ , http://www.kevinandkell.com/ , userfriendly, of course, & I used to visit the Swarm (http://www.swarmthe.com/), but it's currently down :( -PCRaevyn
  • www . jerrypournelle . com (without the spaces) -ManyHats
  • 23. The magic Green Button
    So I'm doing some shopping for a video camera when I come across a nice little package. As I'm looking at the pictures I notice one thing. All the buttons are labeled with functions except for ...http://www.newegg.com/Product/ShowImage.aspx?CurImage=30-179-095-02.jpg&Image=30-179-095-02.jpg%2c30-179-095-03.jpg%2c30-179-095-04.jpg%2c30-179-095-05.jpg%2c30-179-095-06.jpg%2c30-179-095-07.jpg%2c30-179-095-08.jpg%2c30-179-095-09.jpg%2c30-179-095-10.jpg%2c30-179-095-11.jpg%2c30-179-095-12.jpg%2c30-179-095-13.jpg%2c30-179-095-14.jpg%2c30-179-095-15.jpg&S7ImageFlag=0&WaterMark=1&Item=N82E16830179095&Depa=0&Description=SONY+DCR-SR82+Black%2fSilver+60GB+Handycam+Hard+Disk+Camcorder take a look at image #8 and the Magic "Green Button" Its so special it does not have a feature except for Green.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • At least it wasn't labeled "easy" -Divinar
  • Divinar - it HAS an "Easy" button. See picture #5 of that group! -Grue
  • I missed that one Grue..good catch! -neuman1812
  • Divinar, are you saying, it ain't easy, being green? (Yeah hi, this is my first time to the lart shelter, can I get directi-OUCH!) -Nuxli
  • It looks like a mode lever release. (push down on green button to let it turn to change between modes) -McSmiley
  • Best when viewed through a 1985 vintage green monochrome monitor. -vacuumtubes
  • Yeah, it's just a catch on the mode wheel. Almost every SLR and camcorder has that, though it might not be green. Funny that whoever labelled the picture didn't realise that, though. -Chromatix
  • Where's the button that goes "ping"? -Fuji
  • Nah, everybody just wants to get on the eco-friendly bandwagon. -Stryker One
  • "What is it?" "...It's green!" -Treker
  • Every time you try to operate one of these weird green controls that are labeled in green on a green background, a little green light lights up green to let you know you have done it. </mangled HHGTTG> -maciarc
  • Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I. I made it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used Gindrogac. Highly unstable. I put at button on it. I wish to press it, but I'm not sure what will happen if I do. (dives into TITAN LART shelter) -Belunar
  • you have to push the button down to use the power switch. It's to prevent you from accidentally turning on the camera... </da> -Caboose447
  • 24. More on the camera
    In http://techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=76508 I stated i am looking for a Video camera... any suggestions? Don't need anything special..except is has to work with linux.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I got mine from Chinavasion.com REALLY good chinese wholesale place with great prices... here's the one I have, nothing fancy, but get's the job done... http://www.chinavasion.com/product_info.php/pName/hdmi-camcorder-high-definition-great-value/ -TechnoTherapist
  • I haven't specifically tried connecting my camcorder to Linux, but with a miniDV tape, a 1394 (Firewire) cable and a MPEG-2 decoder, you should be set. Another possibility is to use the mini-DVD type and just rip the DVD (which won't have the usual content-protection crap). -Chromatix
  • Well, that was easy. http://www.newegg.com/Product/ShowImage.aspx?CurImage=30-179-095-02.jpg&Image=30-179-095-02.jpg%2c30-179-095-03.jpg%2c30-179-095-04.jpg%2c30-179-095-05.jpg%2c30-179-095-06.jpg%2c30-179-095-07.jpg%2c30-179-095-08.jpg%2c30-179-095-09.jpg%2c30-179-095-10.jpg%2c30-179-095-11.jpg%2c30-179-095-12.jpg%2c30-179-095-13.jpg%2c30-179-095-14.jpg%2c30-179-095-15.jpg&S7ImageFlag=0&WaterMark=1&Item=N82E16830179095&Depa=0&Description=SONY+DCR-SR82+Black%2fSilver+60GB+Handycam+Hard+Disk+Camcorder -Stryker One
  • 25. Oh Dear <Diety> NO!
    http://consumerist.com/5026600/walmart-to-unleash-its-own-geek-squad-in-dallas <SFW
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • As long as it's not the old guy up front with the smiley-face stickers. -ActingUpAgain
  • Fave quote from story: "We just hope that they excel in all aspects of technical support and not just porn-recovery." -BarmanVarn
  • Eh, I've been shopping around for a flatscreen TV, and the main thing that's prevented me from getting one at Wal-Mart is they don't do installation. So if this catches on, they might get my money. -veaudaux
  • "...describes the program as a small pilot." Right, expect the clown behind the counter to be dressed in a Snoopy outfit. -Gromit
  • Just name it Fuck-Up Freddie's and it'll be accurate. -vacuumtubes
  • But, how long do they have to wait in queue to get it to India to have a Dell tech work on it ? < LART Shelter! GO! > -Necros
  • As if my negative feelings towards Dell and Walmart couldn't get any worse, now they go and do this! <da> On the upside: now I can vent at two companies at the same location! </da> -unrenowned
  • The look on that girl's face... What, is she riding a sybian? -MeanDean
  • Thank $deity I don't live there anymore... -MadJack
  • 26. How much would you pay?
    http://gizmodo.com/5025757/douglas-adams-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-typewriter-up-for-sale
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • 42 -SirJosh
  • put that damned thing in a museum! -AdmiralLaurie
  • That thing is priceless, like the Heart of Gold. -C4Cypher
  • He is by far, my favorite Author. It was a sad day when he left the world, he's probably a sandwich maker for a small village somewhere....out there. I agree, it should go into a museum. -Slartarama
  • I triple the motion. Museum! Let the world see that a man used his brains, not tech to create a world! -unrenowned
  • 27. Office Space on steroids <sfw>
    http://gizmodo.com/5019016/spaniards-take-the-movie-office-space-very-seriously
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • What! No explosives? -Wraith556
  • I trashed my cell phone not too long ago. It was semi-involuntary. It rang at the worst possible time, and I'd just had it. I "dropped it", at a very high velocity. The thing is, it didn't just make me feel better, it made me feel a _lot_ better. And the $50 or so I'm spending to replace it was completely worth that kind of satisfaction. -veaudaux
  • veaudaux, did you drop it horizontally onto a brick surface? -drachen
  • 28. You must buy this!
    If you cannot by this item, at least read the reviews and see how this can change your life in an instant! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I1X6PM/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • holy s#*t! you save a dollar! -kagewrestler
  • Obviously you refer to these : http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20080618, http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20080619 and http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20080620 -IcePanther
  • Don't even get me started on the audiophools. -vacuumtubes
  • Wow. And I thought that soda pop was a ridiculous profit margin. A cable is a friggin' cable. I am an audiophile, but I sure as Hell am not a bleedin' idiot. -Seamus
  • If someone can make money selling that sh!t, why can't folks as bright and talented as us do better? Oh, right, we have morals. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Some of the comments on the Amazon page are absolutely hilarious. -Seamyst
  • *Voz checks calendar* Nope, it's June 20th, not April 1st! Actually it probably wouldn't work as an April Fool's joke, as there would be too much 'splainin' to have to do... -Voz
  • but... that's an ethernet cable. -Caboose447
  • Obviously the commenters for this product have taken the (humor) ball and run with it! Unfortunately, there are even self important SF who peruse the Amazon site who post their fishily indignation and lack of humor gene infused comments berating those who have the good sense to not take this product seriously. That strange metallic *tink* sound that you hear are the SF getting their attitudes readjusted. -ecoli
  • Obligatory: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/11/25/ -CptDzastr
  • I want the refurbished, upgraded one. Only a grand! -Slartarama
  • I love the customer tages too: "snake oil", "pure garbage", "immoral", "harry potter"...wait, WTF? -ActingUpAgain
  • Personally, I'm holding out until they come up with a room temperature superconductor version. Unfortunately, you'll have to switch out all of your speakers for piezoelectric or electrostatic ones since this cable can hurl speaker magnets at lethal velocities. -Antacid
  • You know what's really pathetic about this? There really are people willing to pay $500 for a $5 cable! -Captain Trips
  • Caution, do NOT follow the directional markings on this product or your music will play backwards -Spyder19
  • A true audiophile (aka "muppet") would consider it cheap at twice the price! I work part time as a sound tech for live gigs. Give me a 2K PA and a 24 to 48 track desk and I'm happy as a pig in shit. Just not in a marquee with no baffles - high freqs bounce like a bitch off shiny/smooth surfaces. Cables count when you're putting that much oomph through them. Less than 1K and you needn't bother as it makes little or no difference as long as the runs to the speaker pairs are the same length. -Loon
  • You can buy a refurbished one for 999.99! What a deal! -LazyLemming
  • 29. Happy Birthday
    .... .- .--. .--. -.-- / -... .. .-. - .... -.. .- -.-- / - --- / - .... . / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I looked around but couldn't find an exact date to which it was born. -Gunpe
  • ummmm . . . are there space(s) missing in the last six dots and dashes? -ManyHats
  • So it says "Happy Birthday to the morse code" right? :) -rokitt
  • this might help http://morsecode.scphillips.com/jtranslator.html -neuman1812
  • Happy birthday Dot and Dash? Who are they? And is Slash related too? Triplets, maybe? Which way to the LART shelter? :p -TheGhost
  • No, it's in Braille -billybien
  • This will help more: http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/06/dayintech_0620 -SirJosh
  • Neumann: Good'un! -kraftwerk
  • 30. another mess of cable
    http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/03/disturbing-wiring-part-3.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Unfortunately, that looks all too familiar... -Spyder19
  • HOLD IT! Don't nobody move nuthin'! I know RIGHT where everything is! -ShujinTribble
  • The result of the lowest-bid-always-wins mentality. Or, Haliburton. -Stryker One
  • The one entitled "The worst phone wiring in Scotland" is a reference to a bit of the film "Trainspotting"...the pic appears to be have been taken in Atlanta, USA. -lineswine
  • 31. Ultimate in Dad daughter Bonding
    http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2008/06/little-girl-kil.html (sfw)
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Nice M2! I love taking kids to the range. I STRONGLY believe that if you deny a child a gun, then they WILL be curious and play with them. If you teach them how to shoot, then they learn that their not toys! Also teaching them that THEY have to clean them every time they use them, makes them want to leave them alone even more. :) -TechnoTherapist
  • I have to say I found it very disturbing. -LadyLineswine
  • I think there's a difference between responsibly teaching children about guns (how to respect, handle, and take care of them), and encouraging a child to completely destroy an old (moving!) car by shooting it up with an automatic rifle. Big difference. -Seamyst
  • Was I the only one thinking Duct tape, leather, ball gag, and handcuffs?... -unrenowned
  • I think I'd like to do that with my daughter, but I doubt my wife would have any of that.:( -SGTARKyTEK
  • doh, i should mean just regular target practice with pistols,not a ma duece -SGTARKyTEK
  • Juh-heezus, is she using a 20mm Vulcan cannon?!? Dad.....I wanna kill....KILL! -vacuumtubes
  • If I had kids, that's the kind of stuff we would do together. -thx1138
  • File this one under "Hold mah beer and watch this sheeeat!" ;-) -Necros
  • According to some of the comments, it was probably a .30 not a .50 especially due to lack of bracing. Even a rigid mounting for a .50 bounces around a lot more. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Either way, I'm most impressed! -vacuumtubes
  • Now while I DO agree with taking kids to the range... yes... blowing up cars with a full auto is a little out there, and teaches more destruction than anything else. -TechnoTherapist
  • Oh come on. Blowing shit up is the funest thing a person can do. Thats just good healthy bonding time right there. Would you prefer Hunting? Where people actually shoot at a living critter? Why would it matter what you target shoot with if all you are doing is lobbing lead at a car? -putahtek
  • http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8451232 -Darth
  • putahtek: I see no problem with hunting, so long as the hunter plans on eating the quarry. Insofar as the age old gun debate, I learned how to shoot responsibly at the age of 12. I've seen the mere mention of that fact piss a few people off. -Seamus
  • Darth: you bring up a case in point. That is a clear indication of unsafe gun use and storage. I don't think anyone properly trained for a concealed carry permit would be so careless with a loaded firearm. That said: personally, I dislike the whole idea of handguns, their only real purpose is to kill people. For hunting, a rifle or other long weapon is OK, but you can't hunt with a pistol. -chazz
  • I'd like to preface this by saying I've never fired anything more deadly than an air gun. Also I've only held a "proper" gun twice in my life, and neither time was the weapon loaded. Now that I've disclaimed: I don't see anything wrong with this. The news story Darth posted is a great example of why kids need to learn about them early on, right along with lessons like "look both ways before crossing the street" and "don't take candy from strangers". -veaudaux
  • Chazz... I agree, a hand guns sole purpose is to kill people. If I would have had mine on me in July of 06 there would be two less people in the world. Instead, I was stabbed twice, received 78 stitches, put one of them in ICU for over a week and bloodied the others nose before he ran off. Now their both doing time and living off of our tax dollars because of it. Yes, I would have used my gun, yes, I would have done my best to kill them both, and yes, I would have felt righteous about it. Instead I had to COUNTERsue the family to get them to drop the suit they filed against ME, when I was the person who was mugged, for putting their son in the hospital... Handguns are a tool and should be used as such. Their not the bad guy, the ammunition isn't the bad guy, its the person with both that can make them deadly. -TechnoTherapist
  • Shown to TT who was wholly unimpressed. (Apparently changing the dress on a doll was far more important to her at the time....) -ShujinTribble
  • "So he says to me, 'You gotta do something smart, baby. Something BIG! He says, 'You wanna be a super villain, right?' And I go yeah, baby, YEAH! YEAH! WHAT DO I GOTTA DO? He says, 'You got bombs, blow up the comet club, it's packed with super heroes, you'll go down in SUPER VILLAIN HISTORY!' And I go yeah, baby, 'cause I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!" </Best Episode of The Tick EVER!> -unrenowned
  • I agree with Seamus. That car is way too much for the girl to eat. -concept14
  • I agree with TT. Deny them and the children will get curious, and go to great lengths to satisfy that curiosity. Teach them that they are not toys and can do great damage if misused (water jugs, water balloons, and water melons are good demonstrators). They are to be respected and handled properly. And teach them that a gun MUST be cleaned after use. The unfun side will turn them off very quickly. My geekette was taught how to check if a firearm is safe, even though she won't touch them. We plan on teaching our son (due in two weeks) when he comes of age. -Wraith556
  • Weapoms trainung orevents weapons accidents. *Sorrym can;t type fir shyt tiday( -MadJack
  • can we turn her loose on that d00shbag walking her dog from her suv? -stiffarm
  • What ticked me off about that link was not the video, but the comments. People shouldn't be telling parents how to raise their children. That and I felt insulted by a lot of the comments. -adarklite
  • There is a local lake <large pond> referred to as "chicken lake" because you can frequently find dead chicken carcasses strewn about because locals take their kids there to show them the damage guns can cause. I'm not convinced the fully auto gatling gun was necessary but I do believe kids should be taught proper gun safety. -Grembo
  • 32. Outrage of the day (Off topic)
    Has anyone seen this video? What would you do? http://www.myfoxboston.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=2BC728483B0798603B1BF4FF6D6F56AB?contentId=6704056&version=5&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I hate people. I can't imagine walking by and seeing that poor man getting nailed by the car, and continuing on my way. I'd have been in the middle of the street to help, and have been on the cell to 911 at the same time. I hope they catch the bastard that hit him. -SalParadise
  • I hope they do something about the a$$hats that did nothing to help. -BarmanVarn
  • This country is getting more self-centered and cold-hearted with each passing year. Watch out for yourself, because no one's watching out for you. -vacuumtubes
  • I was listing to the radio this morning on a talk show, someone called in with this to say "if i dont know you, I dont owe you" Its a sad state when people start thinking like that. -neuman1812
  • If I was a pedestrian that witnessed this I'd have had my cellphone out calling 911 before the old man hit the ground. I'd be standing over him in the street making sure cars coming from both directions would see me and stop in case they couldn't see him in the road. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Yeah at first I was pissed at the guy who slammed him, then I was apalled at how many people simply drove by, or walked by. WTF is wrong with people? -Slartarama
  • thats one of the most discusting display of humanity i have ever seen.I know there is a lot better kind hearted people out there in this world. These people here are not them.karmas a bitch,one day they will need help and there will be nobody around. -kagewrestler
  • Forgot to mention, if I was a driver that witnessed this I'd have pulled over and then done what I would have done as a pedestrian. It's just that as a pedestrian I'd be able to get my cellphone out faster. -OgdenTechGuy
  • People suck, learned that a year or so ago, I help a homeless guy after he fell and busted his (already heavily injured) leg. I came home smelling of tramp and with my jeans covered in blood, and the first thing my ex-freind asked me was "why bother?" -Tarantulus
  • How incredibly inappropriate is it that they tacked a Honda commercial to the beginning of it? -veaudaux
  • While I agree with the general sentiment expressed here, I also have to mention one factor that I have seen in action here -- the litigiousness factor. Up here in Canada I would not hesitate to help. South of the border, unless I knew the state had a Good Samaritan shield law, I would think hard about it before stepping in. There have been too many instances of people (or survivors) suing those who tried to help, either for not doing enough or for doing too much... I'm much less likely to get into legal trouble if I just don't see it. I don't pretend that's right, but it is a hole the US legal profession has dug for the country... -chazz
  • I might add this to my previous comment--I wouldn't have been one of the bystanders, I'd have jumped in to help...but anymore, few are too wrapped up in their lives to help, much less care. -vacuumtubes
  • maybe grand theft auto is bad for some people.wake up people its not a vidieo game!!!! -kagewrestler
  • I didn't get to the video. I closed the window when I realized I had to first watch an ad about how fun it is to drive a car. -illiterate
  • Just makes me ashamed to even be part of the same species. I can understand shock kicking in and you doing nothing but standing there during something that's threatening your personal safety. But when it comes to someone else's safety, get your ass in gear and help. Don't just stand there or just slow down to get a better look. -TechnoTherapist
  • Gotta love the sheer audacity of that Honda commercial, plus the vast amount of "duh..." that seemed to permeate the scene. That said, don't move the wounded, folks. -Seamus
  • chazz: Sure, some people get burned when they try to help. But I don't think there's ever been a lawsuit filed over calling 911 for a wounded person. WHICH NO ONE DID. The cop that shows up was actually on his way to another call and just happened to notice a man dying in the street. None of these gawkers even bothered to get out the cell phone and call for help. -veaudaux
  • Having been in such a situation, I can tell you it ain't much fun. In my case I was the driver & a guy ran out on a Pelican crossing, with the lights against him. I hit him, he flew 20 feet (they measured my speed at 23m.p.h. BEFORE anyone asks). They carted him off to the regional trauma centre, bypassing the local hospital - he survived on a life-support machine for 5 days. Sure I stopped, got on my mobile, called 999 etc. but it didn't exactly make me feel any better. Let's just say I had an "interesting" few days after the accident, including the cops trying to say it was all my fault etc. A little matter of shedloads of witnesses saying precisely the opposite put paid to that. -lineswine
  • In canada, as a level 3 ticket holder (first aid) I Think they would pull mny ticket if they found out i walked away from a accedent scene like all those people did. -putahtek
  • in Idaho, there is a shield (good Sam) law. There is also a requirement of rendering aid for anyone qualified to do so. I have used both on several occasions. Those self indulgent asses that didn't even check to see if the man was alive? They should be sued as an accessory to injury. the driver should be jailed and tried with attempted manslaughter charges. -srteach
  • 2 things: 1. I am in complete agreement with the outrage of those idiots on the side and those people driving by who did nothing to help 2. the irony of this was that there was a Honda commercial that preceded that video -jwinc7
  • I know that I personally dealt with a similar issue in my town where a man on a motorcycle was hit and slid about 50 yards with his bike on top of him. I had places to go and didn't have the time to stop, but I did and made sure he was fine until the authorities and emergency services came. This is just a sick and sad state... and I would have punched the guy taking a picture of the man using his cellphone. I was almost sick seeing how long he was left in the street before help came. -SiamJetta
  • 33. Old Jack
    Guess Old Jack cant take the heat! http://snagwiremedia.com/consolepatrol/2008/06/jack-thompson-walks-out-on-hea.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Reading what he said I can only think that he needs to be locked up for his own good. The man suffers from severe delusions, and it's only a matter of time before he gets himself and others hurt - badly. -Calydor
  • He needs to plead senility! -unrenowned
  • He actually makes some points which, if accurate, give merit to the claim of the judge not being fit to oversee the case. Unfortunately the crazy:sane ratio in his text is about 8:1, which should be held as another reason he's not fit to litigate anywhere. -illiterate
  • I forsee many Phoenix Wright parodies. -flapjackboy
  • 34. Joy Joy
    The joy of working from home...I feels it! They decided to test WFH with us today. They thought I couldnt do it running Linux. HA! I shows them, except for having to run the phone software under WINE everything else works.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • whats wrong with wine. it is a natural progression of windows usage in linux -gashach
  • You know, I hate to admit this, but I really don't like working from home all the time. I do it now and then, but most of the time, honestly, I'd rather go to the office to work. I have too much trouble staying focused otherwise. And when your attention is waning, 8 hours feels like 8 days. -veaudaux
  • I second V's sentiment. All of my home computers are within easy reach of TV and my DVD collection. -TheCyberwolfe
  • And my bottles... -AngrySup
  • Too close to beer and to far away from responsibility (during the summer anyhoo) -Darkridr
  • 35. Zappos
    http://consumerist.com/tag/business/?i=5010157&t=the-secret-behind-zappos-otherworldly-customer-service-pay-employees-to-quit <SFW
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I like the last line of the story. Now why can't all call centers be that way? -vacuumtubes
  • Aw, damn, the closest one is in Vegas! So much for working long-term for them... -MadJack
  • 36. There's more of them!!
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,356554,00.html < SFW
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • My God, it's full of star...fish -ProfessorFrink
  • Deep under water, sounds like the ideal place for all of them! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • That's where the little bastards have gone - they can run from us, but they can't hide... -Gromit
  • We have finally found Dr. Evil's Underwater Fucknugget Factory. -vacuumtubes
  • What would happen if we detonated a 5 MT nuke under water right there? -ShujinTribble
  • ST: do you mean BESIDES the man-made tidal wave that it would create? -LoTech
  • Carefully planned, said tidal wave MIGHT take care of some of our other starfish problem... -LazyLemming
  • yeah, but executed by the current nukular button holders this would more likely blow them out a new athhole through the center of the earth to trickle down all over...indiana. -stiffarm
  • 37. Need some guidence
    Our company is phasing out RSA tokens and going to the Entrust cards.. as such I currently have 30 expired tokens they want to just throw away.. i want to do somthing with them. they are the kind pictured here http://www.andrewpatrick.ca/wp-content/uploads/rsa_key.gif
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Naplam. Lots and lots of napalm. -unrenowned
  • ill take em. i ca set up a vpn to my home network using openVPN:) plus they are damn near imposible to smash. -gashach
  • their expired... no longer displaying numbers. Unless you know a way to reset them -neuman1812
  • I'd gladly take a couple. I could do some neat tricks (e.g. social engineering) with them if I can get them to work. -Mikoangelo
  • "Damn near impossible to smash", you say? I smell a contest involving sledgehammers and neuman's expired tokens coming up! :) -fdiskcuresall
  • Sell them As Is on ebay as pedometers. -veaudaux
  • At $200 bucks a pop -formatCdrive
  • unrenowned > Evolution. -Stryker One
  • 38. Good, Bad, Ugly, Awesome
    Good: I survived 28 years Bad: I missed my own birthday Ugly: So did my parents. Awesome: My fiancé remembered it and I got a 27in Wide screen LCD for my computer!!!!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Nice!! Belated happy birthday (which doesnt matter its late cos even YOU forgot!!) -starfishmagnet
  • Pretty soon, you won't feel like celebrating them.... :-) -vacuumtubes
  • A belated Happy Birthday, indeed! -Grue
  • on a side note, I only forgot my Bday because I "acquired" some absinthe with a little more than the legally allowed amount of thujone.... -neuman1812
  • That's a good reason to forget....everything....and now I can't feel my face.... -vacuumtubes
  • Happy Belated.. I'm going to take a page out of Jack Benny's handbook and claim to be 39 for the rest of whatever -ShujinTribble
  • Belated congrats mate! Admittedly I went from "Hooray! It's my birthday!" to "I aten't dead (yet)" after 30 but I wish you the best. -Loon
  • As much as some birthdays may suck, they still beat the hell out of the alternative. -Stryker One
  • 27 inches should let you put off getting reading glasses awhile longer old man, but it won't fix thujonevision! -stiffarm
  • 39. How much porn is this?
    http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&taxonomyName=storage&articleId=9083198&taxonomyId=19&intsrc=kc_top
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Opps.. Link is SFW -neuman1812
  • that won't hold what I got.... :< -computerdoc
  • Hell, that won't hold what Burrkiss has looked at this month - and it's only the 7th! -Grayhawk
  • Gitcher yotta-yotta's out... -vacuumtubes
  • Ok they mentioned cheap in that article but the base price of one of those is (according to their $2/GB price) just under $500K thats FAR from cheap. -ShadowGarou
  • Well, they said it was scalable, so maybe you can place an initial order of 5 GB for $10, and work from there. <eg> -Bynar
  • *whistles* nice rack -illiterate
  • Looks like you can ready get systems with 247PB http://h18006.www1.hp.com/storage/xparrays.html -Stryker One
  • "How much porn...?" (*Sigh*) A whole YOTTA porn!</Pun-attack> -ShujinTribble
  • Gives a whole new meaning to measuring storage capacity in Libraries of Congress. -concept14
  • 750g 3.5" HDs are at the best price point. Locally, it is $50 (AU) cheaper to buy _TWO_ 750g HDs than one 1T HD. -Wraith556
  • oh, maybe 0.0001% of what's on the web? -stiffarm
  • Of course the throughput is still on the order of a couple Gigabit per second. At that rate you can fill it in a few teraYears. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 40. NTOT: My buddy
    From a comment I made in http://techcomedy.com/single/single.php?content_number=74733 http://picasaweb.google.com/welefort/Google/photo#5190311351480839266
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • My little buddy http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c135/Technotherapist/IMG_0398.jpg and my big buddies http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c135/Technotherapist/IMAGE_00187.jpg , http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c135/Technotherapist/IMAGE_00190.jpg , and http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c135/Technotherapist/IMAGE_00013.jpg -TechnoTherapist
  • You gots some good buddies!! (G) -MadJack
  • 41. quick UK help
    Quick help from any UK techs. Trying to call a Uk number: getting a message "The service you called has cleared" Anyone know what this means?
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • We could tell you.. but then we'd have to kill you. -ShujinTribble
  • That's not a message I've ever come across. Can you email the first 7 digits you are dialling if not the whole number? -Gromit
  • 01144207******* -neuman1812
  • "...has cleared" means that, from the exchange's point of view, the call was picked up and then immediately put down again. It may be a broken or overloaded PBX. -Chromatix
  • I found this link with a potential answer.http://forum.skype.com/index.php?showtopic=35885 Maybe it will help. -rokitt
  • thats the only link I found on google also. Not much help tho. I like Chromatix answer :) "not my problem" -neuman1812
  • They were a fly-by-night operation? setup a pbx somewhere...took some personal information, and CLEARED the hell out of there? -drachen
  • They've all cleared and are now waiting for the defibrillator. -Stryker One
  • the hookers you hired don't have STDs -stiffarm
  • 42. its pi time
    3.14159 YA me
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Thats MY Pi... -cyberguru
  • No kitty, That's my (pot)pie! Mooooommmmm!!!! -Jeckler
  • bwahahaha nice sp quote... but where is mine from hnt: ROTN -cyberguru
  • bonus points for describing the sceen -cyberguru
  • 3.14159262359... that's as much as I can remember. TBH very few people need more precision than that. :-) -Chromatix
  • So, at 3:14 this morning was Pi^2? -TheGhost
  • Ghost, everyone knows you can't have a square pie. Those are called cakes! -SirJosh
  • ...but that's a lie. -ShujinTribble
  • Woo. I'm 7/8 in provoking that response. Knew you guys couldn't resist. :) -SirJosh
  • ...3 Tablespoons all-purpose rhubarb on fire... -Seamus
  • hey Guru. Ogre and Burke are standing with Gable, Ogre is eating the pie, he just got from the Tri Lamb booth, and he points out to Stan the reason that guys are buying "4 to 5 pies a peice" is the naked picture of Betty that's under the whipcream. -Phylok
  • http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v734/scbiggles/Forum%20stuff/pi-pie.jpg -Darth
  • Hey, that link isn't safe for work! I'm slavering over my keyboard. -Darkridr
  • well phylock gets the bonus points but looses them for FAILING TO MENTION THE MOVIE!! Revenge of the Nerds.. sorry Phylock but just answering the bonus disqualified you /bob barker in running man -cyberguru
  • 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679 8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196 4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273 7245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094 3305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912 9833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132 0005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235 4201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859 5024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303 5982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989 3809525720106548586327886593615338182796823030195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151 5574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012 8583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912 9331367702898915210475216205696602405803815019351125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279 6782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927210797509302955 3211653449872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074265425278625518184175746728909777727938000 8164706001614524919217321721477235014144197356854816136115735255213347574184946843852332390739414333 4547762416862518983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494601653466804988627232791786085784383 8279679766814541009538837863609506800642251252051173929848960841284886269456042419652850222106611863 0674427862203919494504712371378696095636437191728746776465757396241389086583264599581339047802759009 9465764078951269468398352595709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902640136394437455305068203 4962524517493996514314298091906592509372216964615157098583874105978859597729754989301617539284681382 6868386894277415599185592524595395943104997252468084598727364469584865383673622262609912460805124388 4390451244136549762780797715691435997700129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648158456028506 0168427394522674676788952521385225499546667278239864565961163548862305774564980355936345681743241125 1507606947945109659609402522887971089314566913686722874894056010150330861792868092087476091782493858 9009714909675985261365549781893129784821682998948722658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364 5428584447952658678210511413547357395231134271661021359695362314429524849371871101457654035902799344 0374200731057853906219838744780847848968332144571386875194350643021845319104848100537061468067491927 8191197939952061419663428754440643745123718192179998391015919561814675142691239748940907186494231961 5679452080951465502252316038819301420937621378559566389377870830390697920773467221825625996615014215 0306803844773454920260541466592520149744285073251866600213243408819071048633173464965145390579626856 1005508106658796998163574736384052571459102897064140110971206280439039759515677157700420337869936007 2305587631763594218731251471205329281918261861258673215791984148488291644706095752706957220917567116 7229109816909152801735067127485832228718352093539657251210835791513698820914442100675103346711031412 6711136990865851639831501970165151168517143765761835155650884909989859982387345528331635507647918535 8932261854896321329330898570642046752590709154814165498594616371802709819943099244889575712828905923 2332609729971208443357326548938239119325974636673058360414281388303203824903758985243744170291327656 1809377344403070746921120191302033038019762110110044929321516084244485963766983895228684783123552658 2131449576857262433441893039686426243410773226978028073189154411010446823252716201052652272111660396 6655730925471105578537634668206531098965269186205647693125705863566201855810072936065987648611791045 -Stryker One
  • Stryker: I have that on my wallet. ;) -Seamus
  • Hey! That's the combination on my luggage. -Grembo
  • Stryker - you win, I can only remember 80 or so :/ -Geminii
  • 43. 7 Confessions of a Verizon DSL tech
    http://consumerist.com/366623/7-confessions-of-a-verizon-dsl-tech-support-rep The story itself is not all that different from what we get here. its the comments that I find funny. (SFW)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I saw this on fark.com yesterday. It pretty much explains my issues with our so-bloody-worthless "metrics". -Seamus
  • It's all about the money. If it's profitable, a company will give great tech support. If it's not seen as profitable it will give assed tech support. Sadly, it's almost never seen as profitable. -LazyLemming
  • I'm heavily amused by all the comments regarding the picture of the hot chick. -Silphion
  • My metrics are worse. 12:30 AHT, 2:00 for call work, no more than 2 minutes on hold, a worthless IRVU that will constantly misdirect customers. and A good majority of the company who has a poor attitude -areatech
  • The $CableISP I do support for has all their call centers in either the US or Canada. Can't be because we're cheaper, or because we're better able to assist the callers (because we have to contend with metrics too - 10m AHT, which with most of the starfish we get is barely enough to powercycle a modem, never mind troubleshoot); I figure it has to be because somebody high up in the $CableISP management can't understand the accents of the Indian subcontinent... -lowlyte
  • Been there worked for them, its all right on the money. Been a few years though. -SwizzleStix
  • 44. NO TSC?
    that was scary.. ok how many of you after getting page cant be found, ran ping?
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • I did... I was trembling from withdrawal symptoms... -VWFtech
  • What time was all this? Apparently I missed something... -fdiskcuresall
  • <MP> WE ARE THE TECHS THAT GO PING!!!!</MP> -gashach
  • *twitch* Okay, got it back, coming down now. -stpatience
  • What was weird was when i used network-tools it pinged no problem but didnt ping from my dos??? -starfishmagnet
  • Actually... there are two different types of ping, one that uses ICMP and one that uses UDP. I know that one of our ISPs blocks ICMP ping because there was a virus that was using that a lot and was in fact saturating some network segments with nothing but ICMP traffic looking for more hosts to infect. So it's entirely possible that the ping that works uses UDP and the ping that doesn't uses ICMP... RiffRaff did ping, and told a bunch of us on his mailing list that it seemed that the server was running but Apache had fallen over. I would have checked myself if I had thought of it. -chazz
  • VirtualChoirboy's better half was grumping that techies shouldn't hive up online like we do...be interesting to know her take on this, will have to ask (dons asbestos armor....<grin> ) -CTYankee
  • ...to ping or not to ping, that is the question. -GoblinKing
  • Ran ping... and tracert... then went to #tsc for mental support... :-) -ZorglubZ
  • ping, tracrt, hell... I even tried IE instead of firefox... I almost cried. -TechnoTherapist
  • Yeah, it pretty much echoed TechnoTherapist there. Started with ping and advanced from there, actually getting desperate enough to resort to extreme, (IE, etc.), measures. -Voz
  • meh, I left it to tech better than myself to bring the site back, I knew it wasn't my internet. Had it continued to this morning past 10MDT, I may have started to panic, but when I went to read it during work it was back :) -OgdenTechGuy
  • Yeah, I tried IE myself. Then I decided that it must be beyond my control. -Seamus
  • was still accessible via https and IP... -cyberblade3001
  • Someone forgot to replace the serpentine belt on the web server again didn't they... -drakenfly
  • Wait, if IP and secure hypertext transfer still worked... Sounds like it must've been a DNS issue. -Seamus
  • SERPENTINE, SHEL! SERPENTINE! -ShujinTribble
  • guilty. -supportrobot
  • oh and for the record: I couldn't get on by IP either. -supportrobot
  • couldnt get on by IP? well-I know I browsed it last night (including the message boards) using https. Its possible that im confusing browsing tsc by IP with some other browsing by IP done last night... In any case-why would http/IP be down yet https be up? -cyberblade3001
  • cyb - One Word Answer: " Murphy " -ShujinTribble
  • Who do the techs call to get a webpage back up? -Slycat
  • Wasn't a DNS issue as TSC's IP is set as my homepage and that didn't work. The server was contactable so I guess it was an issue with the web service. -Maltgha
  • 45. Job offer.
    If you are looking for a job offer in either boston or marlborough MA, let me know. there is a finders fee so if your hired I'll split it with you. You can email me at my nic @gmail.com
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Hello Neuman! -exzyle2k
  • 46. Google maps to the rescue
    So for our honeymoon we were looking to do a crosscountry trip in an RV. So I pull up google to see how long it takes. According to them, you can go from boston to California in 2 days. http://welefort.googlepages.com/map.jpg
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I gotta pee. -vacuumtubes
  • <da> Hmmm, total drive time 44 hrs give or take a few hours if you drive straight through non-stop except for gas and food.<da> But who the hell wants to do THAT?! "you're gonna need a bigger RV!" :) -rokitt
  • If you do 70mph the entire time you can do it...no breaks...no gas stops...or pee breaks. -Starfury
  • WAIT A MINUTE NEUMAN!!! You live in 90210?? OMG DO YOU KNOW BRENDA??!!!!!111111ELEVENTYONE -starfishmagnet
  • Assuming an average speed of 75MPH it'd take ~39 hours of driving time or 1 day 15 hours of actual on-the-road time. Apparently the actual average speed used is less than that. Sure it sounds funny to say you could be there in 2 days, but it's only saying that it'll take 2 days of driving time is all. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Indianapolis to Yuma AZ in 32 hours. It's possible -LazyLemming
  • Do it like this guy: http://www.wired.com/cars/coolwheels/magazine/15-11/ff_cannonballrun -RamenMcTavish
  • I know that you can do MN to LostWages in under the 24 hours stated, even if you have a 4 hour layover in Richfield UT because you smacked a deer at 4 in the morning. -deskmonkey
  • Especially since most of that appears to be on I-80... There's no chance in hell of doing 75... Not with the grannies and the smokeys and their speed traps. -exzyle2k
  • You know, if you're in no grand rush through the first section of NY...... -ShujinTribble
  • hey ST...IM the first section of NY...Albany is before buffalo. or is it CA to MA trip? -gashach
  • And welcome to LA rush-hour. Doesn't matter what time you arrive. Tack on an extra hour or two. -AngrySup
  • Oops! I was looking at the map as Calif = A / Boston = B... I'm outside Buffalo -ShujinTribble
  • I HAVE done MN to Vegas in 19 hrs. -HappyCrappy
  • Pocatello ID to San Jose CA and back in 19 hours. 1900 miles, two drivers, missed ONE day of work. It can be done. -srteach
  • OOPS... make that about 1780 miles. -srteach
  • Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanishing_Point And people wonder why I like Mopar products 8^) . -MeanDean
  • And then you spend the first day-and-a-half that you are at your supposed destination -- sleeping because you are exhausted from the 2 days of driving. OR, you can take 3-1/2 days to drive it, stopping to sleep, eat, pee and get gasoline, and arrive ready to enjoy your destination. :) -ManyHats
  • Seattle to Santa Cruz, 16 hours, doing 80+ most of the way, and getting PASSED by a cop. -Stryker One
  • "Vanishing Point" - supposedly based on a real attempt by someone to deliver a supercharged Dodge Charger from Chicago to LA in 48 hours. I talked with someone who remembered seeing something like half a mile of skid marks where he stopped for the bulldozer roadblock in Nevada. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 47. Case of the Munday.
    I submit myself for starfish wipping. Due to company policy I had to change my NT account password on Friday. This monday morning at 9am. I forgot it. I humbly submit myself for penance, and await the beating. I would like to mention that I finished a full bottle of tequila rose on my own over the weekend. I cannot be held responsible. http://www.mccormickdistilling.com/tr/ageverify.php?accesscheck=%2Ftr%2Findex.php
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Make the password shithappens. -vacuumtubes
  • Or TequilaR0s3 -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Soooo.... How DID you get past that little problem? -ShujinTribble
  • /karate kid sensai/ Ah HA...The tech becomes the user! -ProfGeek
  • ShujinTribble - A box of dunkin donuts and a call to the server admins -neuman1812
  • 2 words : Knee pads. Apply liberally. Or change your profile name. -GoToHellKitty
  • There, there ... :puts neuman's brains back in his head: OK! Good as new! Now DON'T do that again!! Write $password DOWN on monitor! <runs for shelter, lol!> -MgrofChaos
  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four tequila, floor! -crazymactech
  • "Write $password DOWN on monitor! -MgrofChaos" Honestly, MgrofChaos! Everybody knows the monitor might be replaced, you have to write it on a piece of paper you post on your cubicle wall, and since there are so many pieces of paper there, be sure to put your username next to it with "network login" in giant text so you don't lose it!! -TechMama
  • 48. Im out of hiding
    I dont care what they do. I could'nt leave computers no matter what happens. I was going though withdrawls for not check my emails. I'll be here as long as I can. and hopfully keep you all updated.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Take care and be careful. -vacuumtubes
  • Welcome back, neuman. :) -Tekkie
  • Good to have ya back man -starfishmagnet
  • Welcome back, dude. -Grue
  • {hugs} we understand :) We'll be here whenever you can make it. -ManyHats
  • Welcome back. Just be careful. -NightSteel
  • Welcome back bro! -BarmanVarn
  • Glad to see that you have returned. -conundrum
  • Welcome back! -TheDeathOfRats
  • <me dowses neuman with krazy glue> Now STAY ! -Spyder19
  • Woo-hoo! Welcome back! -pixel
  • Neuman! Good to see you back... -taieena
  • think of the time away as 'the pause that refreshes' <grin> -CTYankee
  • Yeah, those e-mail withdrawals are brutal. -Stryker One
  • Welcome back, from another one accustomed to hiding (perhaps for different reasons). -teivrann
  • hugs mate. thats all. be well. -timelady
  • 49. riffraff does it again
    I dont know how you found me riff.. but ya'll get a response real soon.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Details! -Divinar
  • *pounces neuman* -smellystudent
  • Details! Details! Details! and who do we need to LART? -Olorin
  • "It hurts to be dead." -- Return of the Living Dead -Necros
  • Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. ;~} Good to hear from you, mate. Just don't forget you've got a family here. -RiffRaff
  • NEUMAN!!!!!! Where ya been ya had us all Skerd!!! -ShadowGarou
  • welcome back to the net ;p -compbrat
  • Welcome back, bro! Is there a LART that needs to be delivered, or does someone need a "tour" of the Pine Barrens? -Grayhawk
  • ...and where the bleedin' 'ell 'ave you been? We've all been worried sick. I nearly had one of me turns bothering about you, honest I did. Good to see you back posting - fill us in when you can, OK? -Gromit
  • Really glad to hear from you again. Welcome back! -LinuXtreme
  • Hellloooooo NEWMAN! /Seinfeld off -edventure
  • O.o... Wow... Hope everything is ok man -Spyder19
  • Back from witness protection I see. -Stryker One
  • *pounce* You're back! Yay! -pixel
  • Neuman!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give me a call if you want.... -taieena
  • we've missed you:) -timelady
  • Neuman!!! So glad you are back!! You OK? And Riff, thanks for taking the time and trouble to drag him back. -NordicPT
  • Major huggles, missed ya -CommanderData
  • Hey, good to see ya again. What's up? -56Kdaytrader
  • Hey Neuman, good to see ya. -lineswine
  • 50. Goodbye
    Goodbye everyone. I have to leave now. I will never use a computer again in my life. To the Shrewsbury PD who is watching this site. FU
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • WTF? Jeez, there has to be a story around this one. Could someone who lives near Neuman call him up and post details? -chazz
  • (O_o) -ShujinTribble
  • ::dons tin foil hat:: -Learyban
  • I'm going to hazard a guess that this has to do with work. Maybe someone at his company saw his posts about work here and possibly involved the police about it to be petty. -NightSteel
  • Never use a computer again in his life? Either it's *really* serious, or someone's playing a really big prank. -Chromatix
  • Finally trapped enough foreigners in your basement to remember all the 1's and 0's? -Bobsentme
  • Hi Shrewsbury PD--I'm naked, is it still showing?! -vacuumtubes
  • Guys this may be very serious I just did a search on his username and found some forum entries from a legal advice website. He may be in serious trouble. -ShadowGarou
  • Shrewsbury has police? I thought the local cub scouts subcontracted it for a merit badge or something... -Learyban
  • It puts the lotion on or it gets the hose again? - seriously bud, you ok? drop me a line if you neea an ear to bend. Wont ask you any more than you wanna tell. -Digital Dogcow
  • Mitnick has a lifetime ban on using computers doesn't he? If neuman did something on that level though, we might have heard more about it. -YourLastHope
  • That does look bad, actually... search on the name and look at the advice posts. Of course, that was stuff that happened three years ago, but wheels of "justice"... DD, if you have any non-computer way of reaching Neuman, you might want to give that a try. -chazz
  • Neuman, give me a call, ok? PM'ed my # to you; hope you and Jen are ok. If there's ANYTHING I can do, please let me know! -taieena
  • O.o, my gods, if you need me drop me a line or whiteboard me or have someone do it. my email is J.T.Laurie@gmail.com. -AdmiralLaurie
  • OK folks- I called and left a voice mail for neuman to give me a call back in addition to pm'ing him and writing here... If I don't hear from him by Monday, I'll email him at work. Holding on off emailing or calling his job because I don't want to get him in trouble there; sounds like he has enough on his plate! -taieena
  • If he's saying he'll never use a computer again, we're going to have to plan on going out-of-band. PM and email won't work if he's away from compys. Tai, thank you -- likely your message is the only one he'll get, if any. -chazz
  • Cops? Watching *this* site?? Our hallowed ground??? Figures. Cops in a town that small have serious attitude problems anyway. As he said, they can go fuck themselves. Fascist pigs. -RiffRaff
  • /me waves hello to Big Brother, and not the reality tv type.. -thebombthewoman
  • What's their ip addy. We'll block it!!!! -adarklite
  • tbtw - You mean, (*_* ) 'Echelon', right? ( *_*) You know that doesn't really exist, (O_O) right? -ShujinTribble
  • Ok, update on neuman- no replies to anything I've sent, so either he's not getting them or he's ignoring them. Also, his work email bounced, so I am guessing that his work phone # isn't working. -taieena
  • Screw the pigs!!1 -beatmewithstick
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TiMtDhiJ2o NSFW -56Kdaytrader
  • whats the code for the assassinate Bush collaboration again? :) -r3tude
  • 51. Fun day
    When you start the day off with a list of thing that ARE still working...you know it will be fun...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • And the list is only three items.... -Divinar
  • ...but you haven't updated the list yet.... -ShujinTribble
  • The calm before the storm... -Dr Jerkyl
  • 'Fun' of course being a euphemism for 'Not Fun'. -AmazingKreskin
  • <irony police> actually it's a the proper form of irony. </irony police> -drachen
  • <Grammar Nazi>(A)ctually(,) it's ( )the proper form of irony.</Grammar Nazi> -ShujinTribble
  • (Just teasin', ya unnerstand?) -ShujinTribble
  • 52. Terminated with extreme prejudice
    When the Regional manager, Area LP rep, Area VP, HR Director, Data center Operations Director, and CIO....all call at the same time to have your account terminated. Guess what; your not getting promoted. FYI when they also ask that your BlackBerry be remotely disabled and wiped: Your not getting that pay raise.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I sense that there's quite a story behind this one.. -NightSteel
  • I wish I knew it.. I just got the call to terminate the account. I don't ask why, I just do especially when the CIO ask's me to do it. -neuman1812
  • They are probably getting 'e-greeting' cards from his account! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • They may also not be getting a bonus this year. I bet you're SO upset! They must've done something gossipworthy - any chance you can locate the dirt to dish out? -Loon
  • I heard the mention of drugs and money. (i work for a large pharmacy chain). It also came to pass that several..yes several store managers were let go at the same time. -neuman1812
  • Sounds like a bloodletting to me. -vacuumtubes
  • We got a user termination once that was followed by a *company wide* email that literally said "this person has been fired, and charges are pending." The entire store's sales history was audited for the entire time that person, an assistant manager, was there. -Snakeeye
  • A possibility is that they were selling "commercial" quantities of pseudoephedrine based medicines to meth labs. -Wraith556
  • 53. Office workers (SFW)
    Where do you fall in on the office workers list? http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/index.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • And exactly how many are NOT going to qualify for the "Brooding IT guy"? I know where you hide your pr0n and am just itching for an excuse to prove it! -Loon
  • I seem to be the Brooding IT Guy - esp. the 'quiet seething rage' bit. -Zimmerit
  • I seem to be the Brooding IT Guy - esp. the 'quiet seething rage' bit. -Zimmerit
  • I'm the "Brooding IT Guy". I know, I know, big surprise coming from a TSC member. -LinuXtreme
  • If it weren't for the IT guy being included, I'd of probably picked either the "Eyes-Open Sleeper" or the "Office Supply Pincher" (parts only, I have little use for paper, pens or staplers). -LinuXtreme
  • One of my buddies at the office is The Cat Lady, I sit with a bunch of Smoke Breakers, and I am, of course, the Brooding IT Guy -56Kdaytrader
  • I have simmular qualities to the arrival checker - I like to be 15 to 30 min early. Hopefully I will one day be a brooding IT guy. -compbrat
  • Oh im DEF a smoke breaker...thats if of course I still have a job left lol -LassTech
  • In this house, we're ALL brooding IT guys (or gals). (Of course, I'm also in the Smoke Breakers... (eg)) -MadJack
  • Smoke breaker of course. I don't usually brood. -DuckyFuzz
  • i'm the eyes-open sleeper, mainly because i don't brood that much. at least, i don't think i do -razmann
  • I've got this terrible anxiety that I may be "butt crack guy!" -Captain Trips
  • am I the cat lady or the brooding IT guy - do Lolcats count? :( -Madrigorne
  • One of my co-workers would at least be "Open Eyes Sleeper" and a "Smoke Breaker." -kman52000
  • Hmmm.. I'd be the Brooding Open-Eyed Smoker. Eh? LART-shelter, you say? Why? <runs> -ZorglubZ
  • 54. Looking for Some Job Karma
    Just had my first job Interview for a <gasp> manager'ss position! So far, all good reports.. Waiting for a 2nd call back now.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Techies infiltrating the upper echelons... eeeeeeeeeexellent. </Mr Burns> GL Man, wringing the karma out of a neohippie couple I picked up hitchhiking for you as we speak. -Learyban
  • You forgot the "A" between the manager and ss.....but good luck anyway! -TubPorsche
  • gooooood luck and karma cookies! -Elfling
  • Lots of luck from us (me, Chris, the girls, and Spot) over here! :) email me sometime, will ya? :P -taieena
  • karma truffles in your favourite flavors! should be arriving... *thumpp* now. good luck! -AdmiralLaurie
  • Watch for a hail of Karma-darts falling out of the ozone hole! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • crack job squad of karmarsupials bounding on the way to you mate:) -timelady
  • You realize that by drinking from the cup of management, you will become defective, right? -Xiphiplastron
  • Here's a bowl of Texas Karma Chili for you! -56Kdaytrader
  • One Keg-O-Karma for the new job on its way! -ecoli
  • 55. 237 Reason to have sex
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291647,00.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Reasons? You need a reason now? -VFox
  • Well, maybe if you're Al Bundy (g) -MadJack
  • I never understood Al - Peg was hot, and way better than any chick he was ever gonna get (ok, there was the shoe groupie...) -Divinar
  • Another multi-million dollar study to tell us something that anyone with any sense already knew. -SirJosh
  • as they say on fark: ...still no cure for cancer. -drachen
  • also: the Number 10 least common reason: I wanted to be closer to god. I dunno, my wife seems to get pretty close to god during. She even calls out his name. -drachen
  • From Anderson, Indiana: "Woman, assume th' position. I gotta funny feelin' in mah bone...." -vacuumtubes
  • Can this list be used as a means to convince someone who doesn't want to have sex to go to bed with you? "uh... It's fun? No? uh... Because it's good for the skin? No? uh... Because it'll kill a good ten minutes? No? uh..." -Mushroom
  • ...er... Mush, no, it can't. Trust me. All 237 reasons, and still can't. :-( -TheGhost
  • Ghosts can have sex. Just be careful not to cross the streams. *snicker* -RiffRaff
  • And there must be 50 ways to leave afterwards! -TubPorsche
  • <Paul Simon>…You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free… </Paul Simon> -MSimmons777
  • 56. Turn the internet off
    http://www.switchitoffandon.com/
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Does this clear my modem cache? -War1ock
  • 57. Best call eva!
    I just got a call from two very lovely hyper 19yearold girls from one of our stores. (back story) They had called about a month ago and after fixing their problem we got to talking and flirting (our calls are not recorded) They called back tonight "just to talk" and they want to send me a picture of them and take me out to a bar. I reminded them of my fiance..they said as long as she does'nt mind they wont!!!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • IT'S A TRAP!! </Completely irrelevant comment> <Or is it?> ;-) -TheGhost
  • Trap me! Trap me! -Gerund
  • before you enter the place, get out your Wifi detector to see if the place is (not)wired with hidden cameras -drachen
  • </no offence intended> Depends on how open minded your finance is. </end offence> -AngrySup
  • angrysub..she would not be opposed to the idea :) -neuman1812
  • And yet you're still posting?!? Time to leave work early. -Grembo
  • And post the pic! -Grembo
  • "Two chicks at one time" </Office Space> -lineswine
  • Time to bring out your "O" face.... -Tarantulus
  • Or invite your fiance to go with you. It will probably save a lot of explaining later! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • This is Wrong ... This is wrong .. this is ...this is... Wrong me, wrong me !! -SwizzleStix
  • Bring fiancee along :) -Geminii
  • "Women are like Voltron, it gets better the more you hook up!" -RvB -unrenowned
  • 58. harry Potter in the Datacenter
    http://www.eweek.com/slideshow/0,1206,a=212003,00.asp
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Just as an aside, make sure you don't post any spoilers by accident for the last book, until everyone's had a chance to read it. I'm still waiting for mine to be delivered... A tag on anything relevant saying "no spoilers" would also help. :-) -Chromatix
  • 59. Judy patch tuesday..
    The first 3 Times I saw this title I kept seeing JUDY PATCH after reading it. I still think "Judy patch Tuesday" fits http://www.theregister.com/2007/07/11/ms_patch_tuesday/
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • You're right, neuman. I read it that way, too. :) -Tekkie
  • Ditto. And I only thought, "wait a minute, what does Micro$oft care about that dingbat?" -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 60. ok who cracked?
    http://www.theregister.com/2007/06/13/technical_support/
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Did Gromit let Wallace use the computer AGAIN? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • was'nt me cause Is can tipe gud. -drachen
  • BWAAAHHHAAAHAAAAHHAAA!!!! -unrenowned
  • Rufus! You are my new hero! -thatgirl
  • Ya get what ya give. If the customer's an asswipe, make it clear they're a brainless prat, and beat 'em over the head w/ an Otis LART. Just be sure you let them make the first shot. (eg) -MadJack
  • This looks like a case where both sides are at fault. The customer had a valid complaint in their first email. I checked the site, there is no valid working link for that firmware. Rufus handled it badly, and due to that the customer reacted badly. -Belunar
  • Wallace & Gromit Inc. would like to point out that Wallace was not in fact responsible for this as he doesn't touch computers or indeed any other device that isn't steam-driven. -Gromit
  • What about a steam driven computer? -Belunar
  • Wasn't me: No threats involving bloody dismemberment with a plastic spoon involved. -56Kdaytrader
  • I've sent Rufus an email asking for his autograph - do you think he'll respond? -gwendes
  • Sorry, but have to go with the customer on this one, Site is not as bad as first thought, but it is poor design and the link is broken. And his/her worst comment was nothing more than "poor". Rufus on the other hand was VERY unprofessional. -Wolfie0827
  • 61. The big move
    Our department has been select to move into a new building. Thats right the Helpdesk is moving, next week, to a building next door. Did i mention the Fiber, generator, cubes , phones, computers are not there yet? no..hmmmm
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • "Heya, Rock, watch me pull a Mutzu outta my ass!" "AGAIN?" -Seamus
  • Cots? -Stryker One
  • Opps forgot to mention..were supposed to be switching to IP phones and using an ip agent on the computer to take calls. The upside to this, they are going to start allowing remote use so we can take calls from home! -neuman1812
  • But that trick NEVER works! -Captain Trips
  • Bring a deck of cards with you. That way when you're at the new building with no equipment/cubes you can play solitaire. -Starfury
  • 62. Whats left?
    13 Teenager; 16 Drivers License; 18 Adult; 21 Drinking; 25 Rent a car; What do you get when you turn 27..like me. Today :)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • You get birthday wishes. Happy birthday! -OgdenTechGuy
  • 30, 40, 50, senior citizenship... ah, you've got plenty of time for that. Hippo Boidies, and don't let the fact you'll be a thirty-something in another 3 years getcha down... (g) -MadJack
  • Congratulations on surviving this long work for you? -TechnoVampire
  • 3 more years to say your a 20 something. Happy Birthday! -Gunpe
  • Happy Birthday! -ShiftedBeef
  • You get a new age bracket.... CONGA-RATS! -ShujinTribble
  • Another candle on your birthday cake, of course! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • You reach that age where guys really want to stop aging? (28, and wishing I could have stopped the clock at 27) -NightSteel
  • Whippersnapper. Get off my lawn!!! Seriously, tho- happy birthday -K9Insanity
  • You get...another fishie on the phone! Harpy BurpDay!!! -ChildofCthulhu
  • Happy Happy! -RandalGraves
  • At 27, you get the realization that "oh shit, it's time to grow up" (at least that's how it was for me :-) ). Happy b-day -FixitWench
  • fixitwench: woohoo, that means i still have another year! and congrats neuman -razmann
  • Happy Happy, Neuman!! -taieena
  • The creeping realization you're almost 3 decades old? :P Happy birfday! -Elfling
  • What I learned when I turned 27. My fiance actually wants to get married and set a date, and she does wants kids. I dont wanna grow up! (im a toys r'us kid!) -neuman1812
  • lucky.... -MadJack
  • Happy B-day. But all the positives are done. Now all you have to look forward to is 1. Getting into life insurance before 35. 2. Prostate exams at 40. 3. Realizing you are behind on your 401k at 45. and 4. Realizing you can't retire at 65. Cheers, mate! -JTSBrown
  • And of course the Sigmoidoscopy at 50! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • DO NOT GOOGLE THAT OUCH! -neuman1812
  • Happy b-day. Just remember, you may have to grow old, but you don't have to grow up! -SwedishChef
  • If 30 is the new 20, what does that make the under 30? (eg) -MadJack
  • MadJack, they're called Kidults. Physically old enough to be adults but still behaving like children. -Wraith556
  • 27 was actually a milestone for me. For the first time in my life, how much I ate had an impact on how much weight I gained. That was 10 years and 80 pounds ago... -thx1138
  • 22,23,26,27,28. all Nothing birthdays. Except the fact your 1 year older and wiser(?). Many Happy Returns from a fellow nothing ager. -cicero
  • I think I remember 27. That would be about when the last punch card machine was retired where I work. -concept14
  • Happy birthday... i'm a few months behind you though.... ( don;t wanna get older! you can't make me! NOOOOOOO!) -Harm
  • Congrats!! -adarklite
  • In the wors of creed "this is not about age, time served on the earth doesn't mean you grow in mind" :P -Tarantulus
  • Well, the only thing it accurately measures is how many times around the sun you've ridden this little ball of dirt. Happy birthday! -teivrann
  • Happy belated birthday, you young zippersnapper! -Tekkie
  • Happy Birthday!! -ch41nbr8kr
  • A belated Happy Birthday to you! Re-topiclined #tsc to match when I finally got back to the hotel last night, dunno if you saw it. -Grue
  • You start to forget things... like sending birthday wishes. Happy belated birthday! -Frazzled
  • Happy belated birthday! -56Kdaytrader
  • Hernia checks by a cute female doctor? -FormerSithLord
  • 63. Verizon Technical support?
    Can someone confim this? is this True? Can i call verizon to clean my computer of spyware? http://newscenter.verizon.com/press-releases/verizon/2007/verizon-high-speed-internet.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Sweet Jumpin' GEE-bus! I'm not one to pro-actively send good luck karma... but.... Any of you Horizon Techs who might be listening.... Good Luck! Small Arms Weapons' Storage is on the left, Self-Propelled Weapons' Storage is on the right. -ShujinTribble
  • Reading TFA, it looks like it's a for-pay service - either on a contract or on a per-incident basis. So you might not get *quite* so many of the worst kinds of starfish there - the arrogant ones. -Chromatix
  • On the contrary, Chromatix - the ones that PAY for a service can be worse than those getting it for free! "I paid extra for this level of support so you better help me! I PAY YOUR SALARY!!!" -OgdenTechGuy
  • Screw the weapons, Liquor cabinet's on the left, Zen monastery on the right -56Kdaytrader
  • "Among the computer components and peripherals supported by Verizon Premium Technical Support are routers, network cards, video cards, sound cards, CD/DVD reader-writer, hard drives, flash memory systems, printers, scanners, gaming consoles and firewalls. Operating systems and software supported by the service are Windows Vista, Windows XP, Windows 2000, Windows 98 and Windows Me. " All this for " Premium Technical Support for $9.99 a month" -neuman1812
  • As Neuman put it, "Your all screwed..." Good luck you poor poor bastards at Verizon... well, the poor bastards at Verizon that are actually worth their salt, the other bums can go back to staring off into space... -unrenowned
  • this looks like a hot button topic.. I'll open a thread in the forums. -neuman1812
  • Sounds like a smart deal for them actually, if they can get the tech know-how to handle it. I'm sure all of us who are ISP techs get frequent calls for the types of issues described on their site. I think its mainly because a lot of OEM support lines are pay-per-call or incident, whereas ISP support is typically free; the fishies hope to call in and get a sympathetic tech who will help them with their non-ISP issue. A lot of times, ISP techs will rightly say that the issue isn't supportable by the ISP, and that they'll need to call $OEM. It seems that Verizon wants to cash in on this opportunity; instead of turning those callers away, keep them on the line, help them out and make some money doing so. It builds up good PR for them too, as it would likely make the fishie want to bring more of their business to Verizon. Which would you rather pay, $40/call to OEM or $10 per month for unlimited calls, all things being equal? -RamenMcTavish
  • i work for the company in question, from the banners at work, then the starfish pays the 9.99 per month or 64.99 incident, it actually goes to another company, who has more resources and probably doesn't have to worry about call metrics. I know we don't have the resources for that. -areatech
  • 64. Ubuntu or bust
    I have now completely wiped windows off my two machines and they are both running Ubuntu 6.06. I was going to try 6.10 but because of issues with my graphic cards and a sugestion by Riff, I went with 6.06 Full install, no problems, Using automatix and the package manager. I even have access to my two backup drives formated in NTFS (soon to be converted) The only problem I have run into is I cant seem to get synergy to work across the two, and I cant remote in from my work machine (winxp) I cant seem to find out how to change the default remote port on this machine. other than that YA linux for me!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Grats, man. I'm not a Linux user myself, but I'm all for open source. -Seamus
  • I have the same problem with Synergy running between two Ubuntu 6.1 systems. Been screwing around with it for months. If you figure it our, please let me know. As for remote access, go to System, Preferences, Remote Desktop and be sure you're configured to accept remote connections. You should also be able to ssh into a shell from another machine with little or no configuration on your part. Glad to hear you're up and running. :~} -RiffRaff
  • I took that as a challenge. For anyone that wants to know how I go Synegy working : http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?p=105416#105416 -neuman1812
  • Did you want to set up a VNC client for your Ubuntu, or are you just having trouble getting the one to work? -Darkridr
  • The remoted desktop sharing program Im using came with Kubuntu and is called Krfb. If you go into the Configure section the is a network tab which has the option to set set your port to listen on. -Darkridr
  • welcome to the community mate:) i m on feisty - due for full release in a few weeks, and it supremely rocks! even in its restricted driver manager softare...dude, its all good... -timelady
  • Going to play around with Arch(voodoo) this weekend. If it works out and I can get a decent VM program I think I might stick with it. -adarklite
  • Linux FTW i only have windows on my games machine cus Wining games is just too much hassle. but everything else is great Ubuntu i have on my entertainment PC and Gentoo on my Development PC, Apt-get system is great for installing packages quickly -r3tude
  • I converted my project computer the other day. Waiting to have a day or two off work to see if it can see the two sound cards, and/or if wine or dosemu will handle my radio/scanner programs. Otherwise all is going great. -Jay911
  • I finally got ubuntu working on one of my hard drives, and broke it too many times trying to get my graphics card working in dual-head mode. Back to windows it is... -Bynar
  • Bynar - Just to see... did you go looking through the forums about how to get that dual-display runnin'? I managed it with just a LITTLE sweat on my nVidia Based BFG-Tech 7600gsoc card -ShujinTribble
  • 65. VPN quesition
    Anyone here happen work for ATT DSL department? Our users that have DSL at home with ATT are sudenly unable to access our VPN. we know its not our VPN because other companies (cable, verizon..etc) are able to access it. The only common link between all the users is they all have ATT DSL service.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I know that I have problems with blocked ports with SBCGlobal DSL in San Jose, CA. -Divinar
  • I'm not what you're looking for, but can offer the following: I have DSL from SNET -> SBC -> ATT and have had no problem connecting to my company VPN. However, we do use customized Cisco VPN software. That's about as much as I can tell you without getting in trouble. -virtualchoirboy
  • I'm not what you're looking for either, but I have noticed an increase in ATT DSL customers unable to access company VPN and what we've usually ended up doing is putting their company computer in the DMZ of the modem/router combo issued by ATT. -purplelinguist
  • Comcast did this many years ago, claimed using VPN violated the TOS. -thx1138
  • Are you using a Linksys router by any chance? If so, go into that router's config, find the VPN passthrough section, Uncheck it, save the settings, then recheck it and save settings again. I know this becasue it happened to me last week. Spent over an HOUR trying to torubleshot the VPN, it was the frigging router! :0 -JoeLugian
  • 66. Now taking bets
    I am so fed up with this company of mine, that I am now taking bets to see how long till I get fired. Full story in a few days after I calm down.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Be sure to LART them on the way out. -Seamus
  • Get another job, LART, then quit. -Starfury
  • I'm waiting with bated breath for the denouement... in the meantime, I'd offer you a job in my IT department except I can guarantee my company would take a helluva lot less time to drive you nuts than your current employer... the only reason I'm still with them is because "I'm already there (nuts)". -TechnoCat
  • Leave with class. Drop a fuyll bottle of shampoo in the hot tub! (Did that at one of the spas I worked in) walked out smiling. -thatgirl
  • I have a friend who's a machinist at a car parts supplier. He's put his name down for voluntary redundancy 10+ times and has been rejected every time. We reckon he could drop his trousers and lay a dump on the CEO's desk, and only to be applauded for his assertive behavior. -Wraith556
  • 67. Shellsbutt!
    Thats what my mom says instead of sh!t . well I just farked up.. I pretty much just told my boss and two other stupidvisors that this comapny sucks. Anyone need a helpdesk tech in New England area?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Shellsbutt? Are you SURE she doesn't say "Shazbott"? Made popular by Robin Williams in the early 80's TV show 'Mork and Mindy'... -JoeLugian
  • ....which was one of a few spin-offs from 'Happy Days'. -ShujinTribble
  • Nanoo, nanoo. -Captain Trips
  • Depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I'll say, "yes, we need some competent people." If you ask my boss or HR, they'll say something else. -purplelinguist
  • ...oops. Good luck to you. (Maybe one or more of them will have a sense of humor?) -NightSteel
  • 'Sugar, Effin Sugar!' -TieDyedDinosaur
  • neuman, what happened? Email me later nad let me know what happened; I'm dying of curiousity now! Also, I know we're still looking for help, and I think Chris' employer might be looking (I'll ask)... Give me a call or email to let me know if you're interested where I am... -taieena
  • Or it could be Sheisse, the German word for scatporn, er, sh!t. -Mushroom
  • Which is why Vick's cough drops don't sell in Germany. The “V” is pronounced as a soft sibilant “F”, and ficken is a nasty noun auf Deutsch. And yes, ye of dirty minds, that is exactly what it means. -MSimmons777
  • 68. Damn Straight
    Penny Archade (SFW) http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic They got to me man..I could'nt help it
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • ohh first post and first comment ya! -neuman1812
  • I had to pimp girl scout cookies at work. Sold 62 boxes. The fun part is that my wife is in charge of the cookie sales so we loaded 103 cases of cookies in the mini-van. All sold, now I have to help her with the money part. -Starfury
  • There have been boxes, nay, CASES, of Girl Scout cookies all over our office this week.... and the munchkins come in w/ Mommy (we've got two Girl Scout moms in my ofc, one in upper mgmt..) and you can't resist the face, even when your budget is already stretched to the breaking point... "Okay, just ONE box of Thin Mints, it's all the extra I can afford this payday... please don't look at me that way, I'm already broke and we just got paid yesterday! Just a minute... beep bop boop "Hey, honey, listen, didn't you know who ask you if we had any girl scouts in my office family? They're here now... okay, great! Love you..." Hang tight, kiddo, my gf's entire office is on the way over, they'll be here in 15 minutes..." -MadJack
  • 69. Sat Fun..
    At approx 2:30pm EST, I walked into work. on the way to my cell, I past the morning coworker. I asked how the day was going; He looked at me, Laughed, and walked away. Confused I continue to my desk and open my email. and there is was. 4 exchange servers and 1 Blackberry server decided to take a nose dive. It appears that some employee from one of our child companies(we're the parent) call center had sent a "Swap request" Rather than selecting her own center, she somehow got the entire child companies mailbox AND because of a weird trust relationship between the domains somehow got the "ALL(my companys)Mailbox" distrubution list. Approx 30k+ email address combined ..in the header of one email......with an option to reply to all when opened turn on... YA! on a good note the incoming call lines are also down :)
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • You too can break your company's email system! -purplelinguist
  • Wait, I need more details, I'm having trouble recreating this "accidentally" -Divinar
  • And then someone hit "Reply All"? Brilliant! -MisterMiracle
  • happens once a month around here. -SGTARKyTEK
  • 70. New image
    Our company has re-vamped the image process. So they gave me a shiny new laptop with a new virgin xp image. and told me "Have fun" What should I do?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • If it was your last day I'd say pictures of Burrkiss and ZGB...(isn't that the same thing)...anyway make the security as tight as possible, don't allow the SF to do anything you don't want them to do... -Quchant
  • "You are coming to a sad realization. Allow or Deny?" -TubPorsche
  • Is this the part where someone yells, "Do A Barrel Roll"? -ShujinTribble
  • Take it out to dinner and a movie? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • You're given a virgin and you're asking what to do? Ok Neuman, I think is time we have a talk... ;-) -TheGhost
  • XP was never a virgin, it's always been a sl^t. -CyBear
  • ummm deflower it? set it up on a blind network date with a Mac powerbook see if they hit it off? Introduce it to a Linux PC, g find out if they could possibly produce a stable OS that will run any game known to man? OH OH OH!! get the mac power bok and the laptop togther. then create a geeked out Mac vs PC commercial. get error messages! -Harm
  • If it involves Richard Branson, don't touch it. -LaserGuru
  • First off, since it's a "Virgin", you'll need to get some lube. industrial strength silicon-based of course, we don't want water-based near electronics. Next, find the Serial port... -cicero
  • NO! Do it in the INPUT/OUTPUT port! -ShujinTribble
  • 71. Now how am I going to get work done?
    After finding this http://www.comixpedia.org/index.php/Main_Page (SFW) I'll never get any work done
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Great, just great. You just had to share that didn't you, I hope you're happy, I think you just doomed the entire TS industry. -Stryker One
  • Motherf*'ing Mario is hilarious. It's definitely NSFW, but still funny for the ones old enough to remember Super Mario Brothers and the original Sonic games. -ThatDevilTech
  • 72. A plus!
    While searching for a job, I came across this gem in the work experince colume " Linex experience also a plus!"
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • What do spray on truck bed covers have to do with the job ( http://www.goline-x.com/ )? -maciarc
  • So, if Windex™ is used to clean up windows, is Linex™ used to clean up Linux? -TheGhost
  • 73. Boatloads of Experience
    A request that came to the IS Mailbox: "I've just received a new T1300 laptop and would like to enable the WLAN capabilities. When I try to connect to and access point it's requesting a WEP key to be entered. Can you tell me what key need to be entered or better yet do you have some doc on what I have to do to successfully configure the wireless on this laptop? I have boatloads of experiance with wireless, I just need some info. " Lets see here. The only t1300 Laptop I could find is http://www.bizrate.com/laptopcomputers/sony-vaio-ux180p-1.2-core-solo-t1300-laptop--pid447801159/ we dont give these out so its not one of ours, in fact the best model laptop we have is t60. Next: web key for what? where are you? 3rd if you have "Boatloads of experience" you should know How to setup a wireless connection!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • He did say that he had experience with "wireless", but not what type of wireless devices. I think he means his cell phone and adult novelty "massager". -beerman
  • <da>It looks like he got to the "wireless network detected" screen in the wireless configuration, saw the office network listed as secure, with the note about needing the key, and maybe even read the help info (since that's what he's parroting back)</da> -Divinar
  • Div, I think the problem lies in neuman not knowing WHICH office the 'nugget is in. -OgdenTechGuy
  • No the problem is, 1. Its unsupported hardware. 2. NONE of our offices, corp and field have wireless. Every user should know this.(except for the guys in the executive suite) -neuman1812
  • But it says right there "Contact your System Administrator for details" </moron> -Divinar
  • That's because no one's programmed an error message to say, "You AIN'T ALLOWED- GFY!" -Voz
  • Hi, I know how to eat, I do it all the time. But where do I put the fork? -Caboose447
  • Didn't the captain of the Titanic say "I have a boatload of experience"? -robbor
  • 74. Math Problem:
    Every Month we have a contest that gets us off the phones for a week. This months problem is math, which I Fail at. anyone wanna help? >>>> "Consider a random permutation, P, on n elements. P can be decomposed into cycles. Let x be a fraction between .5 and 1. Let f(x, n) be the probability that all the cycles of P have size less than x*n. This month's problem is to find the asymptotic behavior of f(x, n) for fixed x as n --> infinity."
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • This problem can be solved by counting the permutations, P, with maximum cycle size greater than x*n. Since x > .5 there is at most one such large cycle, C. Let C have size k. There are B(n,k). (B(n,k) denotes the binomial coefficient n choose k) ways of picking the elements in C, (k-1)! ways of permuting them cyclically and (n-k)! ways of permuting the remaining (n-k) elements. Since B(n,k) = n!/(k!*(n-k)!), it follows that there are n!/k permutations on n elements with maximum cycle k (when k > n/2). Since there are n! permutations total, this means the probability of obtaining such a permutation is 1/k. So f(x,n) = 1 - Sum(k>x*n)(1/k). As n --> infinity the sum can be approximated by the Integral(x*n to n)(1/x) = log(z)(x*n to n) = log(n)-log(x*n) = -log(x). Since f(x,n) is defined as the probability that there is no large cycle we subtract from 1 obtaining the answer 1+log(x). (Google Rocks!) -MeatStick
  • uh, don't include the (Google Rocks) part when you submit the answer. *efg* -MeatStick
  • hell - don't include anything other than 1+log(x) -MeatStick
  • Proof that it pays to have good friends :) -gashach
  • Oy -- proof that I need to learn more math. Holy crap! -FixitWench
  • Wait... that was MATH?! -ShujinTribble
  • Proof that I've forgotten all the maff I ever learnteded -squatchie666
  • Math and I have a little arrangement. I leave it alone and its leaves me alone. This detante has lasted since high school. -RandalGraves
  • The worst part of it is, I could FOLLOW the question, and I remember DOING things like that back in school... Then the transistor was invented, and I lost interest in any math above Sin, Cos, and Tan... -Divinar
  • "uhhh, since when did math use letters?" <bad reference to Bill Ingvall> -Daywalker
  • *cringes* Ugh. (Though I find it amusing that I am numbers dyslexic and still work for a bank!!!!) -taieena
  • taieena, I'd like to withdraw 000,000,000,1 from my account. (LART Shelter, away!) -MeatStick
  • I dropped out of an EET program after the instructor walked in, and wrote this on the board: 'n: explain' Something about imaginary numbers. -ThinTheHerd
  • 42 -Wonko The Sane
  • Immaginary numbers are easy, just make up what you want. -SwizzleStix
  • yea... i doodled and failed math class for a reason.. i get hardware and networks.. not a programmer. ill leave the math and chemisty to my sis. ill get the systems networked and crunching though. -Harm
  • Yeah- im with harm. The only math I did OK at from HS was geometry. I assume( i know bad idea) that it was because it applied to something physical or tangiable. -MrJay67
  • Yes, Google does in fact rock -hskrfan23
  • I tutor math, and have never taken math classes above geometry -srteach
  • I=E/mc-squared -atomicbill
  • 75. Click on...
    An error message i just recieved. Anyone see a problem? http://webpages.charter.net/neuman1812/error%20grey.bmp
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • not at all, computer is trying to prevent any further abuse by M$ by avoiding a reboot -halitech
  • I see a problem, yes. It's a friggin' BMP file. -Calydor
  • could be worse: trying to update a client to windows xp SP2 the file gets to 99% and lags....it's like I'm downloading a MPAA/RIAA file or something. -drachen
  • You mean, besides the fact that it's a BMP? -ThirdOfFive
  • Eh, that'll teach me to read the comments before posting my own. -ThirdOfFive
  • Third, it must be because of the BMP...lol -EtherRabbit
  • Aside from the fact that it's not cropped? (and a bmp) -OgdenTechGuy
  • I swear to GOD, I'll PISTOL WHIP the next person that says, "BMP"! -ShujinTribble
  • "Hey, what's the name of that restaurant you like so much?" ... "What? You mean BMP?" (it had to be done ;-] ) -EtherRabbit
  • Yep, I saw the problem. It took a while, though because the image is a... *looks at earlier comments, gauges distance to LART shelter* BMP! *runs for it* -GreyDuck
  • Me: "How big is the file?" SF: "20MB". Me: "I see. What is the type of file you're trying to upload?" SF: "A picture, what else?" <Strike 1> Me: "No, what file type are you trying to upload?" SF: "You mean a logo?" <Hooonnkk!! Strike two!> Me <rolling eyes> "Let me rephrase that. What... are... the last... three... letters... after... the 'dot'... in... the filename?" SF: "OOHHHH!! A .BMP!" Me: <Buzzer sounds> "Ohhh, I'm so sorry1 We only accept .jpg, .tif, and .png. No .gifs or .bmps. Please hang up and make your file again..." -MadJack
  • Looks like someone's having a case of the Windows. -MacDaddy
  • Isn't this SOP for Windows? -Stryker One
  • And, it's a BMP. -Stryker One
  • Oh, come on people! Obviously some id10t managed to write up the code for that box leaving both options grayed out with no regard for the user... AND IT'S A ".BMP"! *runs* -Voz
  • That's right - you RUN! Run home to MAMA!</Where's my Boom Stick?!) -ShujinTribble
  • 76. Upgrade..
    Recently I got an upgrade to some important equiptment in my live. Girlfriend 3.0 has been upgraded to fiance 1.0 beta. The beta is there because there is no release date set for the next upgrade. Press reports indicate the next release will be called Wife 1.0
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Congrats. that's can be a fun upgrade to have. :) -redfaery
  • Congratulations on moving up to, what SHOULD be, a more stable version.... Just don;t you EVER add any 3rd party plugins to it. -ShujinTribble
  • I hope you have better luck with Wife 1.0 than I did. I had to uninstall and reformat from Wife 1.0 after 18 years, so now I'm shopping around for girlfriend 2.0. :) -rokitt
  • Unfortunately my version of Wife 1.0 got a virus and infected TST 1.0 and Kid 1.0. Antivirus not kicking in yet. -TheSingingTech
  • BLUE SCREEN! :-) -vacuumtubes
  • Just remember that Wife 1.0 has a bunch of packages that come with it, one of them being M.I.L. 1.0. Be careful with that package, as it tends to taint even a well compiled kernel. -deskmonkey
  • Congratulations!! I hope your future upgrades continue to go smoothly. :) -TechMama
  • Congrats!! Just remember after the next upgrade to add DailyHugs 1.5.2 and all will be well. (SJ -- depends on the kind of third-party plug in you're talking about ;-) ) -FixitWench
  • Girlfriend 14.2 (we dated twice) gave me Daughter 1.0, so I uninstalled Girlfriend 14.2 and spend my days in happiness playing with Daughter 1.0, teaching Daughter 1.0's A.I. about the world! Wouldn't trade it for anything, but it makes it difficult upgrading to the next Girlfriend version. Wife 1.0 was uninstalled years ago. -TechnoTherapist
  • Just remember that Wife 1.0 is incompatible with Girlfriend 1.0, 2.0, 4.0 and higher. (Girlfriend 3.0 seems to now be overwritten and unavailable for reinstall.) And to Engagement 1.0 I append Congratulations 12.28.06! -Captain Trips
  • Anyone know where I can get the source code for some version of Girlfriend? -VFox
  • Congratulations! My version of Wife 1.0 became unstable and it cost me lots of money to get it uninstalled. Fortunately I found Wife 2.0, it is much better and is compatible with all of my peripherals. -Gunpe
  • Vfox: Unfortunately, the source code for any version of Girlfriend has an AI that constantly overwrites it. Oh sure, you could take a snapshot and manipulate that, but once you try to run it, it'll just change again. -Bobsentme
  • I found my version of GF 3.0 on the Internet 1.0 . GF 1.0 and 2.0 I found in RL 1.0 -neuman1812
  • I upgraded from Girlfriend 2.0 to Wife 1.0 some 18 years ago now... and it is a major upgrade with serious hardware requirements. But it is definitely worth the time and effort... even, or rather especially, when child processes start appearing (in my case, Chazzling 1.0 and Chazzling 2.0). Congratulations! -chazz
  • I'm considering Upgrading to wife 1.0 in the near future, purely because both girlfriend 5.0 is compatible with world of warcraft! -Tarantulus
  • Bobsentme, I could deal a beta or changing version(s); I can't get it to install correctly. The error message usually states that it's already installed on other hardware, or that I wasn't running the proper OS and had the wrong peripherals installed. (Okay, somebody call the metaphor abuse hotline...) -VFox
  • Currently working on Uninstalling Wife 2.0 To clear things up, I tried Wife 1.0 and that didnt work out, the reformat ended up wiping out house 1.0 and sticking me with the virus Child_Support_broke. Luckily I wont get hit with a similar version when I uninstall Wife 2.0 -SimianMilitant
  • Congrats! -RiffRaff
  • Currently MIL 1.0, G.B.F 1.0 and Fiance 1.0 are driving me crazy. Aparently if you combine them, they increase processer usage and spawn multiple other process listed as "weddingplanning.dll" G.B.F = Gay best friend. Deskmonkey, MIL is a friendly process for me -neuman1812
  • congrats on upgrade. i have no witty comment to insert here, except something about caffeine. its on my mind as small_lad unit is rampaging. -timelady
  • When will I get a copy of the beta? -billybien
  • condol .. (ouch ouch crap dayum, stop hitting me with Otis) I meant congrats on the upcoming upgrade -halitech
  • Wow, yay and grats to you both, neuman, from me, Chris, the cats, Spot, and the rest of the menagerie! :) -taieena
  • Upon next full version upgrade, we will be no longer supporting or having available for download any versions of Sex (beta through current versions). -Gecko
  • VFox- can I use that (slightly edited version)? Sounds like my life... -K9Insanity
  • Congrats on the engagement -K9Insanity
  • Version numbers are so 2.0. -concept14
  • Congratulations! -Grue
  • Once you install wife x.0 (any version), Sex 1.0 becomes Sex 1.1 (house sex, you have it in any room in the house.) Later, there comes the upgrade to Sex 1.1 (Bedroom sex, only in bedroom). At some point you will be forcibly upgraded to Sex 1.2. (Known as hallway sex. You pass each other in the hall and say "F*ck You") -cicero
  • It may be worth remembering that if there is any attempt to uninstall M.I.L. 1.0, Wife 1.0 S.E.X module will become a TSR. -lineswine
  • All the more reason that once you find girlfriend.x.1 is the most stable installation you've ever seen, you sit tight. No SP1 or SP2 -MadJack
  • (whoops, last posted b4 done)... forget about sp1 (for upgrading to wife 1.0) or sp2 (for kid 1.0, with or without sp1 upgrade), this OS does not desire them... -MadJack
  • Oh, and, Gratz, Neuman!! All the best luck with the upgrades... <G> -MadJack
  • oh I got wife v 1.0 about to a little sgarky rev.a -SGTARKyTEK
  • Yes, but is it an open beta? ;) -zythus
  • 77. X-Mass Work
    anyone else going to be at work the 24-25? I'll be here. I dont mind at all. they sign my check. I work it. helps that I dont celebrate x-mas :) it made me wonder, Last year I carried the pager. Got paid 4hrs overtime. + extra if i was called in.(i wasnt) This year they are paying me to be here for two days 16hrs+overtime+holiday pay. Would'nt it be cheaper for me to just carry the pager? They dont seem to care, and well since they are signing my check neither do I :)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I my work was willing to pay me 3x normal time to work the holiday I'd be there. But we're closed from 6pm Sunday until 5am Tuesday (when I get there) -Starfury
  • I'm carrying the on-call phone/pager this weekend. If I get any phone calls, or have to fix anything that takes me more than 30 seconds remoted in, it is going down as 4 hours of time and a half, minimum. -snJimboip
  • I ususally have Sun=Mon off but volunteered to work on Mon. The triple time will come in handy. I haven't really had a good Christmas since the time 32 years ago when I yelled at Santa. I yelled "I don't care who you are fat man. Get those f***ing reindeer off my roof." -atomicbill
  • I voluntered to work Sunday and Monday. I don't celebrate Christmas either so just as well take the money (2.5x on Monday) and keep someone from bitching about having to work on xmas. And butter up management. -Wolffarmer
  • I'll be working both Christmas Eve, and Christmas nights in the Data Center. -Bobsentme
  • Christmas Eve (normal pay), Christmas Day (2.5x pay), and yes, for you Canucks out there, I'm also working Boxing Day (normal pay). -deskmonkey
  • ill be working the 24th ( for an hour) the 25th and the 26th ... 11PM - 7 am.. hells yea quiet. Given its 8 am on the 24th - and my frineds JUST left a few minutes ago (spur of the moment traditional pre christmas lan party)- lookin forward to getting some much needed rest. -Harm
  • I'm on call myself. -TechieSidhe
  • The curse of a small company - I'm *always* "on call" - but I get compensated if I have to go in. Right now our main mail server is down, and probably needs serious work (since it doesn't respond to a reboot). Wheeee xmas eve! -Divinar
  • well SE is closed christmas daym but im away till the 30th in Cali anyway...Much nicer then Ontario -tixarah
  • 78. I dont think so
    You called me for help, you don't get to make demands of me. You don't get to talk over me. I will tell you what to do, to fix your problem. I will talk over you until you shut-up and listen. I do have the ability to get the information I need from you, and then zone you out while I talk over you and tell you how to fix it. If you continue to refuse to listen to me, I will put you on hold to shut you up. When I pick up the phone again, you will shut up and listen. Are we clear?
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Ummmm...neep neep? *hears gunfire in the background...uh oh...* -RamenMcTavish
  • This, it appears, is the difference between doing helldesk for internal customers vs. working for big-evil cellco. -illiterate
  • Nah, it's the same for internal support and some of them are equally as stoopid. -FixitWench
  • Depends on size of corp. If it's max 50 then you MIGHT have luck so they are somewhat intelligent. Above 50 intelligence is proportional to the inverted square of amount employed... -Dr Jerkyl
  • Dr Jerkyl: you forgot to factor in the size of the paycheque in your equation. The size of the paycheque is inversely proportional to the IQ score. -TechnoCat
  • SUPER-TINK!! -vacuumtubes
  • wow - i used almost the same speach to one of our agents that decided he knew more then i did. -Harm
  • "If you continue to try talking over me, I can and will use the 'Big Red Button' and allow you to talk to Mr. Dialtone. -CelticSkyhawk
  • this reminds me of a famous quote from the band Distrubed: <bleep> <bleep> <bleepity-bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleepy> <bleep> Muther F'er!!! (actually, i guess that doesn't have anything to do with this at all... so, ummm, nevermind) -duckhead
  • yes I work Internal support. While we do have "standards" none of them are followed :) -neuman1812
  • That wasn't Disturbed - it was Offspring - Bad Habit, and yes it does very much apply. :) -Madrigorne
  • 79. Office space..uncut
    http://www.break.com/index/office_space_recut.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    80. For the tech rule
    This is why you dont piss off the helpdesk. Actual notes from call " **Note* Store refered to us as the helpless desk, and questioned our diagnostics and procedures. I advised store they may want to put us on hold if they wish to refere to us in that way. I also advised store that I will be sending an email to the DM about this call."
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • This is Johnny Olson speaking. Stay tuned for Aluminum Justice, next, over most of these CBS stations..... -vacuumtubes
  • Back when I was working help desk, I had used SMS to remote control a user's PC to help him, he had a folder in outlook called "no-help desk" in which he kept all his emails to and from the help desk. -jwinc7
  • Being a helpdesk person means you have a good grasp of PC technology and of the software you support. It doesn't mean that you know everything about PCs and Office. -Starfury
  • Starfury: lusers think we know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING computer related. I get that crap all the time. When I tell someone at the office I don't know, I get the blank stare, and, "I thought you knew how do to everything?" Um, no? -FixitWench
  • Our "helpdesk", also known as "Company Technical Support", is pretty helpless. They can reset passwords, and a lot of the time they route tickets correctly. We "field support" people even call the helpdesk the helpless desk. There's just no excuse for sending a Jacksonville or Dallas ticket to Woodland Hills. -sassicatz
  • Fixit: If I knew as much as they thought I did, do you think I'd be working helpdesk? -Starfury
  • Nope, but they don't understand that. If I knew as much as they thought *I* do, I'd have Bill Gates' job. -FixitWench
  • Where I used to work, some stores would call in with attitude. The manager would be telling me what their associate said the problem was and how to fix it. I swear, there were times I came back with, "Are you a tech? No? Is your associate a tech? No? Am I a tech? Yes. That's why you called me. I know how to fix this problem, and your junior sales associate doesn't. Now, do you want to listen to me and get this fixed, so you can take customers again? Or do I call your DM and tell him you were being uncooperative?" That would often get them in line. Sometimes, they would say, "You're not nice, I'm reporting you to my DM." I would come back and say, "Fine. We'll BOTH call him, so he can hear both sides of the story. And THEN I'm calling the COO to say you aren't being cooperative!" (Our COO there was a former tech himself, and would ALWAYS back us up.) Believe me, that would be the ultimate, they would shut up and listen after that. Too bad most help desks can't get away with that. -Captain Trips
  • On the two occasions store staff have been rude to our helpdesk staff, I just sicced my boss on their DM. No further questions. Said staff were MUCH nicer the next time they called. One of them made the mistake of being rude while he was gunning for a promotion from assistant store manager to full manager. Guess who got shot down in flames? -TechnoCat
  • 81. Count your tickets time!
    If you can what is you ticket count? daily/weekly/monthy
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • we don't really track tickets per se but I average 40 calls a day, 7 hour day 5 days a week so about 200 calls a week. -halitech
  • Avg: Day-40 Week-180 Month(sept)952 -neuman1812
  • I used the phone once on Tuesday. -maciarc
  • I run about 4-10 external requests a week, mostly via email. I also run about 1-10 internal requests a day, depending on how well the network is running. Theoretically I'm a developer, but in fact I seem to be largely an IT generalist. -chazz
  • I do about a hundred PC tickets a month and another hundred phone tickets a month. -sassicatz
  • Seems that I have some days that I handle a total of 4 phone calls, and other days (typically shitty weather causing T1s to go down) I'll handle a few dozen calls. I work a 9 hour day. -snJimboip
  • Haven't had a ticket in years -- I'm a good driver. <"Yes, I'd like one ticket to the lart shelter, please."> -Captain Trips
  • I work the early shift and usually get around 30+ calls per day. My queue was at 8 but now is at 20 since we've had problems here. When I did days my queue was around 40+ on average. -Starfury
  • Lets see, when I was on the helpdesk, I averaged 150 tickets closed a week, with a 75% first call closure rate. So, about 750 calls a month, with 600 being closed by the time I hung up the phone. Now that I'm in the datacenter, I'd say I average about 40-50 calls a week. And WAY less phone calls. -Bobsentme
  • I get between 15-25 tix a day, maybe more if I log in when I'm supposed to, which I don't the man will never keep me down! -mugglemage
  • I'm averaging 14/day this week, but those are only tickets, not incoming calls. -pixel
  • Ok, I have been here for 10 months exactly as of today, and I have closed 4335 tickets... of course I haven't exaclty logged every password reset call I've recieved :P -64kCacheMemory
  • My report timed out at 10000 tickets starting from 9/3/03 to present. And that's one contract in the same company. Started way back in '01. -wolfman
  • Oh, and that's only tickets that I've open. Nevermind added to or closed. -wolfman
  • every call we take is it's own ticket. 20-30 per day, so 100-150/week -illiterate
  • If I am in the office, typically 30-40 tickets resolved in a week. On the road, 0-5, depending on what I am out for. Our queues usually hold around 40-60 open tickets, but right now are sitting at nearly 300 thanks to mismanagement. -Snakeeye
  • Worst I ever had was two jobs ago, doing internal support. About 200 tickets per day per operator. Basically, if it wasn't solved in 90 seconds it was handballed to a floorwalker. We rotated from FW to phone monkey regularly to prevent burnout. -Geminii
  • My work is project based, so it averages to somewhere round 1-3 per month. Untill Monday, when I'm un-employed. :'( -Dj
  • Average of 50 per week but at least half of my calls are over 2 hours in length. -frprinterwiz
  • 250 a week -Tarantulus
  • Average 2-3 per day. I love my job. -Jeckler
  • 112 for this month, current yearly total is 1,811. 2nd is not very busy and I tend not to log several pointless calls. -TheMage18
  • 82. Ursla Martinez NSFW! or home
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7614204979212723144
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • The trick is to keep watching her hands... oh, to hell with it! :p -linkv
  • is it wrong that I've already seen this video and was unimpressed? -drachen
  • I thought it was a pretty nice turn on an old trick. At least she keeps the audiences attention. -docbrown01
  • 83. Getting your drugs
    http://www.usa-clan.com/drugs.wmv
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • SFW Car crashing into one of my companys stores -neuman1812
  • "I'm gonna get my dad-gum eyedrops right now!" -illiterate
  • hey d4rkf1re in case your wondering, yes this video was preceded by a call into the helpdesk. -neuman1812
  • that's crazy I wonder what the other driver was thinking -NOFXfan
  • I think your server has been LARTed (TSC version of Farked? Slashdotted?) -NOFXfan
  • http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4652257744830145559 google video version... this wont kill my server -neuman1812
  • holy shit!!! Did she speed up at the end? -Bobsentme
  • It appears as though she intentionally kept going. The car stopped just inside the building, and yet... and yet... *brain implodes* -ThinTheHerd
  • From the LP rep themselves: The 80yerold women panicked after missing the car in the parking lot. After hitting the building, she panicked more and accidently hit the gas instead of the brake -neuman1812
  • It's heard of drive-thru pharmacies, but that's just too much. -docbrown01
  • Well, at least she aimed for the doors... ... -namor
  • Of course, the ONE time you DON'T want grandma to hit the gas pedal..... AND SHE DOES!!! -virtualchoirboy
  • couldn't actually watch that at work... now that i have.. wow. just wow. -illiterate
  • Oh, and shocked no-one else has done this one.. "I said I'd be back!" -illiterate
  • Holy... whistling... frig. Judging from the first camera and the running lady in the parking lot, gramma was at a complete stop once she got the entire car into the store, sat for maybe two to five seconds, and then accelerated off across the floor. I like the guy in the third camera, sees the car and bolts... -chazz
  • "..and everybody knows that there's nobody meaner / Than the little old lady from Pasadena..." -Gromit
  • If anyone.... ANYONE.. wants to debate the merits of having mandantory re-testing for diver's licenses... THIS is the video I wont on MY side of the argument! OMFG! PLEASE tell me no one was hurt.. even the driver. (Wait... didn;t the air bags go off?) -ShujinTribble
  • Damn, just damn. -burrkiss
  • These new drive through stores have everything! -Starfury
  • neuman... I can hear that call right now... "Umm, someone drove through our store." CSC:"Ok, well did you help them out?" Clerk:"No they drove thru THE WINDOWS." CSC:"Oh I'll transfer you to the IS Help Desk." -d4rkf1re
  • One of my customers from years ago called with a printer problem. About two minutes into the call there was a lot of noise and then some bangs and stuff. The guy, in the calmest voice says to me, "I'll have to call you back. Someone just drove through the side wall of the store." Turned out his server was demolished, but the hard drive survived. -CelticSkyhawk
  • Right there with you Shujin, I propose mandatory retesting every year once the driver reaches age 60. And the AARP, as powerful as they are, needs to be told to suck it. -BayouTech
  • Shujin: The airbag won't go off if the collision happened at less than 30 mph (48 km/h), because at those speeds, the airbag would be more dangerous than the collision. -ThirdOfFive
  • "Oh, look. Pier 1." "New Oldsmobiles are in." "Damn. This mall have everything!" </Jake and Elwood> -Captain Trips
  • (for the grammar nazis:) have=has! -Captain Trips
  • http://tinyurl.com/ecdy7 I bet she fu(kin' RULES the "South Central 2" map. (shortcut through supermarket) -VIPERsssss
  • I can't believe no-one has said this yet. "I WANT A NEW MOUSE!!!!!!!" -DataSolutions
  • No, no, no. She's supposed to be crashing through a farmer's market full of pedestrians. >>>> The scariest part is that she *keeps pushing forward*. -MeanDean
  • She's just lookin' for the exit, MeanDean! -Voz
  • Maybe, back in the day, she used to drive those earth-digger cars for an unnamed Super Evil Villain and just forgot she don't do that gig no more? -ShujinTribble
  • 84. Powerball winner 200$million
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/09/24/ap/national/mainD8KBEJJ00.shtml I have to ask... what would you do with the money? and to make it easy I'll decide for you. Your taking the payout 67.1 million.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • http://www.saleen.com/saleen_s7_main.htm And http://www.koenigsegg.com/thecars/ccx.asp Then I'd just get silly :-) -Crashville
  • ...I'll take the rest on a gift certificate.</Game Show Mode> -ShujinTribble
  • I think I'd first pay off all debts, and pay off the houses of my family members. Invest half, then go nuts with the remaining. Can you say "par-taaaay"? -FixitWench
  • I'd buy 1,000 acres of land, and go completely off the grid. -ThinTheHerd
  • Damm, and I thought it would be me. Only got one number out of the 6. But if I won, it would have been the biggest TSC party ever! -Gunpe
  • Hookers and blow. What else? -bassman
  • Lets just say that one of the first thing that would happen is "The moon shall rise inside of Dell" -Wolffarmer
  • (TSC-grade answer: "You know what I'd do? Two chicks at the same time, man.") Real answer: Buy and prep a car for rally racing, build a new house closer to work, with significant tech in it (wired for -everything- and sprinklered, etc), pay off my and all my family's bills, etc. Some gadgets, kit and toys of all sorts, too, of course. -Jay911
  • (And yes, that implies I'd still work. My co-workers doubt that, but it's what I enjoy. I might become a part-timer instead of 48 hours a week, but still. :) ) -Jay911
  • Buy a nice house one a decent patch of land new car, truck, AND motorcycle. New computer(s). A VTOL aircraft would be nice. Quit work to do... what, theatre, maybe? -LoTech
  • Actually, I'd put all but $500k into CD's - live on the 500 (which is damned easy) and use the interest in the rest for whatever... RPCI would prob LOVE a near guarenteed $1M single-check donation every year - don;tcha think? -ShujinTribble
  • No, I'm not taking the one-time. Damn it, I would like to be _sure_ that I'd get 6.6 million every year (before taxes)... though here in Canada, we don't pay income tax on lottery winnings. What would I do with it? Pay off debt, buy new toys, new house, tutor for my sons... toys? Yeah -- new set of pipes, maybe, new house with space for the brewery and the computer build-in, nice fat pipe, T3 maybe, screw this DSL stuff... and the second year, fly in the TSC crew for a party... I'll have to think about what I would do in the third year. -chazz
  • Pay-off a home, buy 2 reliable cars, prepay bills for 20 years and invest. Also, i would open up my own internet company where it is not illegal to rip-into a starfish or tell off a jerk. Who cares if they cancel, if the business bombs. I have a ton of money and pissed off alot of people who deserve it haha. -Acidstyle77
  • Buy a nice chunk of land and build my dream house with the most awesome home theater and computer room. Build a garage next to the house almost equal in size. Buy one super expensive sports car, one convertible for summer cruising, one sensible car for daily driving, one luxury sedan or SUV for long trips, a pick up truck, a motorcycle and then whatever vehicles hubby wanted, go visit my all my TSC buddies around the world and then come home and live off my investments, probably get heavily involved in a couple local charities to fill my time. -frprinterwiz
  • "Now Gates can only buy me out 350 times over!" -Geminii
  • Pay off all my debts, my family's dembts, get 24/7 livin care team for my wife's uncle, buy Art Bell's place in Arazona (sp?), keep the place here in Canada (actually, sell it to a friend for $1, go to my Art Bell place for a year, then come back), toys, tech, and cars, tutors for my son, then, open a game shop, tell stupid customers off, and don't give a damn if it makes one red cent. <dreaming...> -TechOgre
  • <Peter>Nothing... I would do absolutely nothing...</Peter> I would have to pay off a debt that is still outstanding to someone I know, that might have made this post, plus interest.. then I'd go hog-wild, new car, couple of houses, help my mom then probably start a nightclub with a coffee bar and internet cafe.... Get drunk, get caffinated, blow shit up and flirt with girls/guys... how can you go wrong? -d4rkf1re
  • Let's see.. pay off visa, pay off GF's debts and finish paying for her courses...buy my parents farm... put $5MIL into safe long term investiments (GIC, BONDS, Bluechips, etc), find a few different brokers to get risky with $2MIL each, hire some kid to do the annoying work for me (ie cabling, and non-challenging programming) then carry on doing the work I enjoy... -garwain
  • Hmmm......Buddy/Co-worker and I have a mutual verbal agreement that, should one of us hit for huge $$$, we'd give the other enough so that we could both leave this place and all its political BS in the dust. The utter chaos that would ensue would be well worth the cost. Plus it would take months to wipe the BFEG off our faces. -TubPorsche
  • 1. New house, tech wired, with home theater, 2 game rooms (1 for pc's & consoles, 1 for arcade video games), 8-12 car garage, a sound studio, and solar/wind power. 2. Murciélago 3. '66 Mustang. 4. '62 Jaguar D. 5. Testarossa F512M 6. Pay off family debts. 7. invest the rest for maintenance. -maciarc
  • Set up a trust for my brother who's disabled due to bi-polar disorder and has to live on about $500 a month. Make sure my mom has anything she needs (she's 87). Buy a medium sized house where I can have a library and Shira can have a "cat room". Invest in stem cell research. -sassicatz
  • I'd take the annuity. They say those who take the lump sum usually spend it all too quickly, and end up worse off than before. By taking it in payments, I'd get the "spend, spend, spend" out of my system, and still have millions coming my way. What would I spend it on? New home, pay off debts, take care of any and all medical needs of my wife and mine that insurance wouldn't cover. Quit my job (giving time to train a replacement, if they wish) and travel. Buy an RV. Yes, "my name is Ewmer Fudd, miwwionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht." -Captain Trips
  • The point of lump-sum is to then invest it. It is not difficult to beat the equivalent interest rate with even fairly safe investment decisions. Obviously if you KNOW you can't be trusted with the money then the annuity is your best bet! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • My basic rule on winning the lottery: Take the lump sum payout. Subtract roughly 10% and put that into your bank account. Take the rest and put it into an investment trust fund with the following restrictions - you can't touch the interest for a minimum of 5 years and the principle for a minimum of 10 years. If you can't live on 10% of the winnings during that time, you have a serious problem. *chuckle* -VoiceOfSanity
  • I'd be dead in a year. -AngrySup
  • I think that I would accept the money anonymously (to avoid sudden relatives, lawsuits, and old lovers), set up trusts for the kids, pay off the house and give it to the daughter along with a budget for redoing it in her fashion. Build a new house just close enough to the city to get cable internet. Finish college and then just do "research" for a living. Programming, assembly, whatever. My wife has always wanted a smallish RV so she'd get that for Christmas or her B-Day, whichever is first. Then I'd generally live the hell off the interest and give to the family as necessary. -Darkridr
  • What some of the others have said, keep going to work but feel free to say whatever I think, plus get a big house on a big farm in the country far away from loud nosy neighbors, but pave our own road so we can get to town in the Lamborghini Miura, and scatter some political contributions at the local and state levels (none to any incumbents). -concept14
  • Post stories on TSC using the starfish's real names. -concept14
  • I'd pay off debts, set up college funds for my kids, then buy one or two massaging chairs---then I'd really go nuts -56Kdaytrader
  • couple hundred arcers of land - witrh a lake and forest.. mountain.. something off the grid in BC or northern Ont. build my castle.. gte power to it... buy some nice electric toys.. do some "farming" .. buys some cars and bikes for my friends.. sattelite uplink.. and throw a MASSIVE party! -Harm
  • become like The Gord. with a small video games rental place in the nearest largish town. drive to work in a tank. -Harm
  • And noone yet has said "I'd buy all my TSC friends a star for the next 20 years." I see how y'all are. :p -missourimule
  • Trust fund, Huge screen TV, LSD Drip. -VIPERsssss
  • I'd pay Texas to secede from the Union. -MeanDean
  • Aaaaand at least one of the winners will be one of these dingbats who says, "I'm still gonna keep my [miserable soul-crushing dead-end] job..." -MeanDean
  • Hey, I'd still keep my job... just instead of it being at the center of my day, it would be near the edges. -chazz
  • Hmmm, a hard one...I'd go for the annuity, I think. TSC would be one of the things that could be made "bomb proof", redundant servers, back-uo locations. Funnily enough, we're pretty happy in the house we own & I'm not that bothered for cars. HOWEVER, it is a while since I did any sky-diving, so that would be on the list. Would I give up work? Yep. Would I give up messing with computers? Not a chance. Would I "spead the happiness"?...too right (anonymously, of course). And, for the record...I owe you Tekkie, bigtime. -lineswine
  • 85. Balcberrys and Verizon
    Working with a user to get a Blackberry activated. Someone help me here. during my training I was told that if the Pin to Pin did not work, then its and issue with the provider/data transmission/broken device. I was told today from a verizon tech, that the pin to pin only works if the user is activated on the Company BES. Anyone know the correct answer?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Well, I'm no expert, but I had the understanding that Pin to Pin had nothing to do with the BES. -Evan
  • OK 84 Min on the phone with verizon...this is outrageous. 32 min wtih 2nd level tech 25min on hold now. If you work 2nd level Blackberry..... -neuman1812
  • Pin2Pin is a connection with RIM's server, and while it can be blocked by the BES, it exists independently of it. Look for these next to the signal indicators: 1x, 1xev, 1X, 1XEV -- uppercase means you have a good data connection. make sure it doesn't say "data connection refused." also, do a register now. this is done by going to opttions/settings->options, opening the host routing table, and clicking the wheel on any entry and selecting register now. if you're not getting a data connection(1x, data connection refused), pull the battery out,when it's done hourglassing dial *22899. if register now works and pin2pin works, it's more likely a BES issue. -illiterate
  • all that was tried. The pin to pin does not work. If you work Verizon Ticket#1311121 The tech said that my job as a help desk tech does not compare to his job....as a help desk tech. -neuman1812
  • I so want that techs name and supervisor... -neuman1812
  • check your charter account. -illiterate
  • P2P exists independant of the BES. Look at the display, there's a 1X icon -- is the X upper case or lower case? You won't be able to P2P if it's lower. BTW, call those folks back and get a different tech, and see if the case number you are offered is three digits longer than the one you posted... -Mushroom
  • FYI all the basic stuf was checked. The first level tech took care of that + all my training. Its not a signal issue. Its defanatly an issue with verizon or with the device itself. -neuman1812
  • if you're getting signal, and getting uppercase letters, it's probably not the crackberry itself. -illiterate
  • I am so glad I can transfer all the crackberry tickets over to the Chief warrant officer. :p -SGTARKyTEK
  • 86. Foamy!
    It seems foamy has a problem with Battery power http://illwillpress.com/ Hes looking for a solar powered battery adaptor http://www.shop21.uk.com/home.html?target=p_798.html&lang=en-gb
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Amen, brother... Foamy SO fuckin' roxx... -MadJack
  • Foamy!!!! The Lord and Master! -RandalGraves
  • 87. need a bit of help
    anyone work for the COx cable internet division? gimme a buz neuman1812(at)charter.net
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I've always wondered what cox says in their commercial so as not to sound dirty. "You'll love the Cox!" "You'll get there faster with our Cox!" "It's Cox-orific!" -illiterate
  • Everyone loves thier Cox! -HappyCrappy
  • 88. TSC.. now on QDB
    http://qdb.us/61709
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Yes, totally. Um, what was that about? -robbor
  • cached link: http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:gO-7RR1iP0gJ:qdb.us/61709+qdb.us/61709&hl=en&gl=ca&ct=clnk&cd=1 -NOFXfan
  • 89. A plea for help..
    Why is it when someone here needs your help, they post on a site were the majority of people work low end paying jobs, and cant even afford their own lifestyle? Its because They know you guys care. I will doing a "Walk to cure Cancer" this coming septmber 10 in memory of my girlfriends father. If you would like to sponser me you can paypal the funds(neuman1812(at)charter.net) or dontate online at http://www.firstgiving.com/kevincorey. Any help is welcome. Thanks.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • oops. try this link http://www.firstgiving.com/kevincorey -neuman1812
  • Don't know if I can help ATM... other than to wish you well.... and my condolences to you all. -ShujinTribble
  • (PS - If you'd like to add into / become part of the "Team: End of Cycle for Sarcoma"... the idea /was/ to have additional chapters all over the place, not just for bicycle fundraisers, kinda like franchising.... Just a thought.) -ShujinTribble
  • 90. My mom..
    I love her..I realy do! But this is the email I just recieved "email not working???"
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • "Me neither. Perhaps the internet is down?" -illiterate
  • *kicks neuman* you broked the dang interthingy!!!!! -starfishmagnet
  • Last night I had to explain to my mom that 'no signal' on the monitor just meant that she had to power on the computer. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Did you get another one later saying, "Did you get this?" -FixitWench
  • "How about this one?" <imitating MY mother and her email> -FixitWench
  • to: mom, from: me, subject: Re: email not working?, Body: No, email isn't working. This is why you haven't received a reply back to your original email entitled "email not working?" -snowcrash
  • 91. way too much time
    http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=18586
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • NSFW? It's blocked here as "adult material." -Captain Trips
  • ...is it sad that I've always wanted to do this to someone, but have never been able to find enough people willing to help? -karlata
  • It's SFW but other things on this site aren't. Very funny, and way to much time! -Gunpe
  • Oh, and it's quite SFW....makes it through the (usually quite pedantic) filter here. -karlata
  • The kid took it well, better than I probably would. -Tekkie
  • We did that to a friend in Uni... not quite so well though. I was in charge of computer-flipping - had the monitor upside-down, but with an inverted desktop so it appeared normal. -smellystudent
  • K. This vid was funny for about 10 seconds, then I got the concept. Enough already. -TechnoCat
  • 92. They got me!
    Im so ashamed www.myspace.com/welefort
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Obviously not *TOO* ashamed...your still whoring yourself out here. =P -Bobsentme
  • argh!! ARRRRGH!!! it's YOU'RE. YOU ARE. YOU'RE, not YOUR!!!! -mousie
  • Heeeey, I never knew you were a local. I smell an Ocean State TSC gathering in the near future... or os that just some old socks? -SalParadise
  • And you should be. -Divinar
  • "What country would you most like to Visit: Florence" Ladies and gentlemen... you may begin the LARTING! -ShujinTribble
  • "equiptment"? -chazz
  • 93. Saturday July 8th
    Kevin Paul Corey, died after a battle with cancer. He is survived by his wife and daughter(my girlfriend) and pre-deceased by his other daughter Kristen (nov 11) 16years old. Kevin was 50. Full obit http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060710/OBIT/607100309/1001/OBITVIEW
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Please relay condolences from Casa Grue. -Grue
  • Condolences from chez Chazz as well. -chazz
  • My condolences man. -RandalGraves
  • you and yours are in my thoughts -frprinterwiz
  • --and here as well... Damned too short, if you ask me. -ShujinTribble
  • Damn.... -MadJack
  • Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this. Thought and hopes from me, sarge and donk ( my family ) to yours, now and as you move thru this time. -Mysty
  • how sad for the wife and her remaining daughter, too such drastic losses. may you all find healing and peace, and know that somewhere, somehow the lost ones are together, and watching you with love. -timelady
  • I'm so sorry to hear this :( -56Kdaytrader
  • *lights candle* -purplelinguist
  • Thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours... -PTSTech
  • My condolences. Give your GF a big hug from Auntie. -Tekkie
  • *warm fuzzies and condolensces to you from the North Coast* -da5ve
  • *hugs* -pixel
  • My condolences. -sassicatz
  • my condolences to you all -Jax
  • I don't have any pretty words here... but I do know what thet are going through. -HappyCrappy
  • thoughts, prayers and condolences to you and yours. would have offered them earlier but I didn't get online over the weekend. -halitech
  • So sorry to hear about this. Sympathies from the Nazreel family. -Nazreel
  • So sorry to hear this news. My condolences to you, your gf and family. -TheGhost
  • 94. 11:28amEST and I got first post
    YA me..back you work or its shocky monkey for you!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • shockey monkey this - ( in the lule of the quiet morning. produces a fuly fuctioning full size trebuchet) -Harm
  • <sings>Shock the mon-kay!</Peter Gabriel> -missourimule
  • Trebuchet this! http://www.rocktec.co.nz/links/rocktec_1_39.php -neuman1812
  • I was discussing, with a defensive driving class, alternative methods to driving home after a party. Several students made the obvious suggestions (taxi, call a friend, etc), but I heard one student in the back of the class whisper to another, "a trebuchet". I burst out laughing, and had to share it with the rest of the class. Not a very accurate conveyance, I'll bet. -DrLecter
  • More accurate than current Transporter Technology. You ever see the disclaimer sticker on the bottom of the console? "* - Some Reassembly Required" -ShujinTribble
  • Actually, a trebuchet isn't a bad idea -- after all, it's good for flinging cows over castle walls. "Now go away, or I shall taunt you again!" -Captain Trips
  • 95. The end of Humanity..
    Let me Start the Story with a little background. On Wed we (GF and I) were informed her father had 4-5 days to live. Thursday I spend the day at the house just being there. Friday I went back to work. Already in a "what the hell am I going to do" mood. anyone that called got the end of a very sharp stick. Friday was not the day to fuck with me. Policy was Policy and that was it. Im sure I will be getting something from my manager about the way I handled some calls. 2nd Preface: As a Helpdesk tech everyone here has probably heard about this call, read about it, even known someone that took this call. Friday I Got this call. The call that will haunt me forever, that call that made me stop breathing. What is this Call you ask? Lemme tell you. A store manager called stating that as she was walking down one of the isles, her store lights flickered and some of them went out. She then went to the electrical panel, and noticed a Burning smell. At that point she called us. While one hold(appox 10min at the time) sparks started coming out of the panel. She then proceded to ask me what she should do. At that point in time. My breathing stoped, my heart skipped a few beats, and Im sure a chunk of my brain is forever dead. After several seconds of silence from my end enough for her to ask hello twice. My brain rebooted and I informed her to contact 911, then I hung up. I fear for humanity...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Sheep... the lot of them. I swear. -ShujinTribble
  • Lemmings, even. Hang in there, man. We can't change the world. -DrLecter
  • Ahhhhhhhhh, sheeple. Nuthin' quite like 'em. -vacuumtubes
  • just get in REAL close to the panel.. pucker up - and french it. if sparks are flying romance can't be far behind right? or at leat a good solution to the problem. -Harm
  • She should've rebooted the building.... -duckhead
  • at least she didn't call after the sparks started -srteach
  • It saddens me to say this, but you are right -- we've all gotten this call (or variations of it.) For me, it was a cash register smoking. "Call the fire department" "But it hasn't been 'closed'." "Call the fire department." "But there's still cash in it." "IT'S ON FIRE!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!" Yes, fear for the race -- the gene pool has been polluted! -Captain Trips
  • THIS is how they got the story of turkeys being so stupid that they would drown in a heavy rainstorm by just standing there looking up, with their mouth's open! -Voz
  • well our network control center has a keypad and phone at the door if you need in you talk on the phone at the door. some users feel they need to talk to an"administrator" when their account is locked out. One of my cohorts got the doorphone call "he said he needs to talk someone in here" oh, " tell'm to go back to his desk and give us a call." -SGTARKyTEK
  • 96. First post- asking for prayers
    If you know my story recently my GF lost her little sister to a car accident. Now 7 months later her father is loosing a battle to cancer. The doctors are giving him 4 days. Im not a religious person but Any thoughts are welcome.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • For a quick recap to her sisters death please read http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=4003&highlight= -neuman1812
  • nueman, I know the pain, moms got about that long. ALL my spare love... -HappyCrappy
  • Antipodean hugs, love, and support. Thinking of you. -timelady
  • My thoughts are with you. -xtc46
  • Here, I have been before. I do know something of what you are feeling. My thoughts are with you. -chazz
  • Good thoughts on the way. -RandalGraves
  • My thoughts and hopes go out to you. -Zoomer
  • All the love of this tiny island we call england on it's way to you -Tarantulus
  • Hugs, love, support etc! -NordicPT
  • Man, that sucks. You & yours are in my thoughts. -lineswine
  • We're a bunch of folks who care, dude. Holler if you have further need - you know how to get hold of me. -Grue
  • I don't have much in me right now.... but you have what I can spare (+ 15% gratuity) -ShujinTribble
  • Give your SO a hug from TSC. She's very lucky to have you for support. -Tekkie
  • ((hugs)) and prayers for your girlfriend and her family. -mousie
  • My condolence for your GF and you and your families. I'm not good at this, but I'll also be here among the crowd to show support. -TheGhost
  • warm-type fuzzies and stuff to you and your gf's family. -da5ve
  • *hugs* Been where you are, guy. Whiteboard me if you want to talk, or rant, or whatever. -pixel
  • neuman, it's never easy to hear about this type of thing and even though I've never been through it, still hits me hard as someone who has lost more friends and extended family then I care to remember. thoughts, prayers to you and yours at this hard time from me and mine in the Great White North. -halitech
  • *many tight hugs* You have my sympathies -Parilla
  • A prayer for you and yours: Travel safely, and travel swift. Yet never so swift as to leave any behind. Grant us good fortune to pass with grace, be it in life or in death. We gather with others in hope of easing pains, both of the sick and of the healthy. But most importantly we do gather to show our support with love and hope. Amen -MaskedMarauder
  • Thinking of you here in Scotland. -Nazreel
  • Wow, when it rains it pours. Here's sympathies and support from the other side of the Great White North. -Frazzled
  • Damn... another round's starting... All my pryars... (fark, can ttypo tonihgt..) -MadJack
  • Many hugs from Texas. You can never break the chain. -56Kdaytrader
  • Hugs from Milton Keynes, the concrete cows and I send you our best... -Diptera
  • my thoughts and prayers with you all, take care -Jax
  • Not sure how bad off he is, but remember doctors don't know everything. My Father was was diagnosed with cancer when he was 46 and told he had 5 years to live. This year he turned 81. -edventure
  • 97. Another trip..
    My GF is heading to Australia in july for 2 weeks (lucky sum'btch) heading to a little place call Wodonga. anyone in that area wanna give her a welcome from me?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Ok.. that SOOO reads the "wrong" way. Unless of course.. that's the WAY you wanted it read... -BunnieTechBabe
  • I can give her my Wodonga. :D -burrkiss
  • Look Out! Burrkiss is gonna go 'jiggy' down unda! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • ok but you owe me. ...ZIIIP! <sorry hadda do it. not near there though.> -drachen
  • not close,honey,sorry:( wrong state. -timelady
  • Wodonga is a town half way between Melbourne and Sydney. No self respecting Aussies live there if they have a choice **Runs to the LART shelter praying that there are no Wodonga techs here. -madstu
  • Albury-Wodonga are two towns in different states (New South Wales and Victoria) and are separated by the Murry River. -Wraith556
  • As it transpires my boss and half my team is in Albury. so WTF is she doing in Wodonga. of all places? -macbeth
  • 98. 105
    A relative of mine just turn 105 this weekend. Shes still walking on her own, and has all of her mind still there. She lives in mexico most of the year.She jokes that she's still alive because her blood has been replaced with tequilla. we have no doubt that she has at least 2-3 more years left.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Wow...throw some viagra into the tequila stream, and that's just how I wanna be when I'm that old. -Bobsentme
  • A tequilla a day keeps the reaper away.... That's just amazing, Here's to many more years for your relative. -kryliss
  • I raise a glass to the power of alchohol and the will of this old dear!! -Tarantulus
  • My mom always said that it was all those preservatives they put in food that was keeping her looking young! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Congrats to the lady! -sassicatz
  • "I want to be young and wild. Then I want to be middle-aged and rich. Then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending I'm deaf." - E. Blackadder -MeanDean
  • I wonder if she's related to the Video Game Grandma... I can't remember where I saw the vid, and I couldn't get a link even if I could. :o -Torinir
  • alchohol, killing germs and braincells since the dawn of farming, also the real reason man learned to farm. -drachen
  • I knew this was the wrong life to give up drinking! -gemachte
  • I'll drink to that! *hic* -56Kdaytrader
  • We kid one of the guys from my old division on Tarawa that he's in better health than most of the rest of us b/c of all the tequila he drinks (I swear, Garcia must have been bottle fed it when he was a kid <g>).... He says, "Nah, it's cuz I eat the worm..." -MadJack
  • And don't worry about the embalming either. But you may have to alert the fire department if a cremation is planned. It may take several units to put the fire out afterwards. -Wraith556
  • 99. Cool little program
    http://synergy2.sourceforge.net/
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • for those of you who want to know what you'll be looking at: Synergy lets you easily share a single mouse and keyboard between multiple computers with different operating systems, each with its own display, without special hardware. It's intended for users with multiple computers on their desk since each system uses its own monitor(s). -NOFXfan
  • I use a 8-position KVM since I only want one monitor. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Does it make you a geek if you are using a KVM in your own living room? -Mysty
  • I would think it would. (Said with pride) -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I use LogMeIn, mainly because it allows me to control my computers from anywhere (including work). -docbrown01
  • oooh, cool! Now if only I had a stable set of systems that wasn't constantly being fidled with... -trs998
  • <Raises hand> I have a KVM in my living room. Our appartemt is small, and that's where my stuff is. -computerdoc
  • my personal preference is VNC, which I have installed on all of my computers at home, and several at work. -Bynar
  • I second VNC -beatmewithstick
  • This is not the same thing as using VNC or a KVM switch. Say you have 3 PCs set up, each with it's own screen, side by side, and you wanted a program that lets you use the same keyboard & mouse across all 3 screens. In other words, move the mouse off the right side of your WinXP desktop onto your OSX desktop. Stardock's Multiplicity does the same thing, but it costs money. -AmazingKreskin
  • ill be impressed if you could drag and drop data or copy and paste data from one machine to the next seamlessly. -putahtek
  • You can copy and paste across screens. It works great for me at work One machine is my email the other is my ticketing machine. When I need to copy email information into the ticket. It works great. Also CTRL-ALT-DEL work across the screeens and the Screen saver works across the screens. Lock one computer they all lock. Unlocke one and they all unlock. There are a few other nifty other things. Also it does have the ability for SSH encryption -neuman1812
  • the one thing I like is the way you can set it up. One computer to the left one computer to the right. Add thoes rules and double them with the opsites and you can literally go in circles around the screen. You can also do top and bottom positions. and combine multiple computers. I have 3 right now at work with this -neuman1812
  • Last I heard of that they'd got ASCII clipboards working across multiple OSes, but were still having issues with binary data. Any update on that? -Geminii
  • This is a snazzy little program; I just got it up and running at work. I'm able to control both computers just fine, but I'm as of yet unable to use it to copy files back and forth. Still playing with it, though. Thanks for posting this! -RiffRaff
  • 100. Help needed.. Kinda important
    Anyone here work for Nextel? Blackberry support tier 2 or higher? Please whiteboard me or contact at welefort(at)cvs.com
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • BIS or BES?? -Tarantulus
  • BES -neuman1812
  • ah sorry, I can't help -Tarantulus
  • I used to work there but escaped a year ago, will see if I can get ahold of some of the boys and get you some help. -halitech
  • I know people who do. 'Sup? -CadetDru
  • 101. The tech Commandments
    http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/734.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • That should be the basic commandments for computer ownership. -burrkiss
  • It works better when it's plugged in. Did you reboot? Did follow the instructions we gave you the last five times you called about this? Tech support is not your mother. Read the manual and keep it holy. Take a basic computer course that tests you. Learn something new about your computer every day. Don't click that. Don't click that, either. That will be $200. -Geminii
  • That is so going up on my cubicle wall! I love that. -redfaery
  • Don't pull the pin if you can't count to three. // Don't drink the milk. (Why?) It's spoilt. // If you are told to Write This Down and you are caught in a Rule # 1 problem because you didn't, you WILL be made to feel like a little bug under a magnafrying lens on a hot, cloudless, July day. // Tech Support / Helpdesk Personell SHOULD have the power to send people to remedial computer use 105 if it is deemed nessisary. (Ditto a wood chipper in the back of the building.) -ShujinTribble
  • I'm not sure I agree with rule IX - Don't Be Evil. Evil is an important tool in my user adjustment arsenal. -SalParadise
  • "That depends on what your definition of 'Evil', is."</W.J. "IS" Clinton> -ShujinTribble
  • I have an annoying "tech"(ish) person in a class that was bragging about buying the beta version of windows vista. I saw this earlier and pointed out he's breaking the tech commandments. -Slycat
  • 102. Payback!
    I just got a call from our Offshore support deparment. The display on my Phone read "INDIA-Offshore" . He needed a password reset for his network access!! Now India has to call us. I feel almost special...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Did you speak in a really hard to understand American accent? Y'all. -robbor
  • I recommend either Brooklyn-eese or Long Island-eese. Both are not only accent-heavy, but include (at no additional cost) blazing speed, mispronounced terms ("WAH-ter" vs "Wuhdah" [Water]) and nearly paranoid turn-and-bite mannerisms ("What?! You say'n' it's *my* fauld dat *my* netwerk lucked you awt 'cause *YOU* ken't type in your passwerd... the passwerd you be'n usin' fer da last umpteen yeahs? Yea - Right.. Lemme file dat one unner my 'crybaby' clause, section."). -ShujinTribble
  • Naw... use "Redneck"... "Mornin' ya'll, whats cin I dew fer ya'??? Oh, ya gots a bug in yer hardstuffs or yer softstuffs??" -duckhead
  • Well, I would recommend ebonics, but that is close enough to garbled english that they might be able to actually decipher it. -64kCacheMemory
  • Just go with the old favorite from childhood Pig-Latin!!! That's so bad they'll probably quit their call center job on the spot. -squatchie666
  • To make it a completely fair tradeoff, you'd have to be on an Indian-language support line, speaking Indian with a thick Southern/NYer accent. THAT'D be the stuff! -linkv
  • Shuj, I know you claim to be from this island, but I don't know ANYONE who talks like that! ^ ^ 'Course, I used to live in the Hamptons...all we got were Yiddish accents and "I ehsorree, no Eengleesh." -TranceGemini
  • I'm from West Bab, Suffolk County... so the accents weren't THAT bad.. but then again, I'm trying to type it in English instead of the native tongue - Vulgar -ShujinTribble
  • 103. Anyone got an extra 1,000$ to spare?
    http://www.gridskipper.com/travel/new-york/serendipitys-1000-ice-cream-sundae-154934.php
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Caviar, on ICE CREAM SUNDAE? No thanks, I'll just buy 250 $4 DQ Banana Splits! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Other than the caviar and price tag, it sounds good, but caviar??? Yuck! -taieena
  • That is disgusting. Give me an actual sundae for ~$3, and I'll be happier than the moron eating those. And $997 richer, too! -Divinar
  • "...covered in 23K edible gold leaf..." Man, I think I'd be freaking if I looked at the toilet after this, and saw gold flecks in it... -namor
  • The cavier is not actually on the Icecream "it is topped with a tiny glass bowl of Grand Passion Caviar," -neuman1812
  • I've been to serendipity, they know how to make deserts... but $1k is out of my price range... and http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=3047880&dopt=Abstract -DedSysOp
  • "House" last week had a patient who's wife was killing him by mixing gold into his food. At least these dinners can se what may kill them. -Zoomer
  • It wouldn't be quite such a bad deal if you get to keep the bowl and the spoon. In any case, I'll pass on the caviar. -sassicatz
  • <someone's got to> "I want my $1000 and my sunday!"<LART shelter ho...> -AngrySup
  • Update on this..again. According to the travel channel show I saw this on. You get to keep the Bowl and spoon also. The spoon being worth approx 350$ and the bowl is crystal at 400$ -neuman1812
  • That dessert sounds positively crapulent! They start okay, with good vanilla ice cream and expensive chocolate, but then they add candied fruit? -Gaah
  • For that amount of money, I expect something tasteful and beautiful - not a sundae that looks like someone scraped icecream off of Donald Trump's ceiling. -Parilla
  • Ah, further proof --- along with British luxury vehicles, homes in Malibu, and UC Berkeley alumni --- that just because you're rich doesn't mean you're smart. -MeanDean
  • I can't afford the sundae, since I'm saving up my money to get super powers from Scientologists. I've got to be at my best when Xenu and his intergalactic followers return to Earth. http://www.sptimes.com/2006/05/06/Northpinellas/Scientology_nearly_re.shtml -HidariMak
  • 104. Mango was looking for this
    Mango was looking for somthing in this call http://techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=57308 DSl over Phones http://www.wap.org/journal/cotour/default.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Thanks a lot, Neuman! :) -Mango
  • Have Krone tool, will travel. -lineswine
  • 105. Thats hot...
    All i can say is thank diety someone finially did it http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20060414
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • tff, love it -FixitWench
  • That's perfect! -teivrann
  • YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY! -vacuumtubes
  • Was that a Louisville Slugger or a Light Sabre.... "--YOU make the call!" -ShujinTribble
  • Shujin: Anyone can chop off a head with a lightsaber...but to do it with a baseball bat..that takes major skill. -Starfury
  • [Showing my age here] Many, many years ago, when I was more active in the science fiction convention realm, I recall seeing someone in the Midwest who had taken a Louisville Slugger aluminum bat, hollowed it out and inserted a 100mw laser, along with grips for said item (holding power supply and such). Naturally, he had renamed it a Laserville Slugger. It also had the familiar General Technics logo (left as an exercise for the students). -VoiceOfSanity
  • AWWWW YEA!!! < BLasts "stupid girls" by pink) -Harm
  • Read that comic every day. Also read gucomics... both excellent... -Gonzo
  • Now, if only that would hapen for real :-) -Sidewinder
  • Anyone remember "The Richard Prior Show" (Only on for four episodes in the late 70's.) Prior holding a baseball in "the Star Wars Bar" skit: "This is the ball Hank Aaron hit 715 with." Alien: "meep meep click whistle" Prior: "Yeah, I know he hit over 4000, but that was with a laser bat. THIS guy used a PIECE OF WOOD!" -Captain Trips
  • CT: Don't you mean the bat, not the ball? </nitpick mode> -purplelinguist
  • Uh, I think I remember it being the ball he was holding, actually. But it WAS 30 years ago, and I only saw it the one time, so... -Captain Trips
  • 106. Newest TSC member
    http://www.worcester-arl.org/featured_warl4.htm Half way down the page "Trixie" I adopted Trixie from the same Rescue league that my Girlfriends little sister wanted to work at. They accepted the donation in her name "Kristen C Corey" If you dont know her story please read http://www.techcomedy.com/members/message_board/viewtopic.php?t=4003&highlight=
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • What about Ruby? -TranceGemini
  • She's a cutie, but was the sister cat already gone? -spectreoflife
  • My deepest sympathies on the loss of your Girlfriend's little system. I only hope Trixie can help mend her heart. -TheMage18
  • 107. farking roomies
    If your gunna wake me up in the morning with bass thumping crap you call music..I will get my computer to play all the country music, with bass in the mid 21hz range! I will find the brown note
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • anyone in RI looking for a roomie? -neuman1812
  • Oddly enough, actually, I am. -tangentman
  • The "brown note"? *FART* -Torinir
  • a little bit of re-wiring is in order i think, like the switch to the stereo sending 1000V to the door handle of their room -Tarantulus
  • How about the stereo switch just sending raw, unadulterated 110v AC to the Audio Outputs on the stereo? Deal with the problem where it exists. -Voz
  • Oh, c'mon, get creative. If <roomie> is using 2-/3-way speakers, swap the wiring from the tweeter and the bass speakers. *bfeg* *listens to the steady thump of the tweeter* -missourimule
  • I wish this would help... Usuallly people get a hint. But my neighbour not. We tried everything: country, Guns'n'Roses (he plays rap), German industrial from 80's (that's heavy stuff). Nothing helps. The moron wakes up at 1 pm and goes to slepp at 2-3 am. S&!#@#@. Just 10 more weeks. PERHAPS I can handle. -danusia
  • danusia: Find the resonance harmonics of their house's foundations. -Veinor
  • danusia, try a tone generator on the upper limit of human hearing.... around 19-20 khz will do the trick. such high frequencies are very hard to localize and quite painful -Lehk
  • Danusia - record his noise each night and play it back through the wall from 7am-1pm? -Geminii
  • Danusia (and maybe Neuman) -- try the farkin' police! There are noise abatement laws in every community, usually something like "below xx decibels after 10pm." It worked for me -- I called the police, the dispatcher said she couldn't hear me and asked me to turn down the stereo. When I told her that I couldn't because it was coming from next door, she said, "We'll have someone right out." And they did. And it stopped. -Captain Trips
  • Neuman, you can stay at my place in the southern part of the state, you just have to bring the microphone and preamp collection for the studio! One note, though - my house is a micro$oft free zone, if you bring computers, they can't have Windoze on 'em! -SalParadise
  • True Fact: The Mothers of Invention album 'Weasels Ripped My Flesh', played at vengefully loud volume at 11:00 a.m. on a Sunday, is capable of causing painful vomiting attacks in roommates suffering from cocaine-and-scotch hangovers. Following it up with the album 'Voltage And Violets' by The Victim's Family will cause them to forfeit the condo unit completely and go sleep in the building's "fitness center", where they will be harassed into their cars to sleep by the complex rent-a-cops. Vengeance, thy name is atonal jazz experiments. -MeanDean
  • 108. Daily Dose of Dilbert
    http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Dammit! You nearly made me break one of my rules. I don't go to entertainment pages from home that are viewable from work! -illiterate
  • That one ranks right up there with the 'Etch-a-Sketch' strip. -Gaah
  • Favorite reply- I am backing up google.com please try again later ;) -makillik
  • Copied and posted in all cubes within our dungeon... -PTSTech
  • lmao! -MadJack
  • That one's going up in my cube. Guaranteed, the starfishies who walk by won't notice themselves in the last frame. Even if I were to cut out PHB's face and insert a tiny mirror. -TechnoCat
  • And the link for those reading later - http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20060222.html -redevil34
  • I wonder how many other people looked at the wastebasket the PHB was "draining" the power cord into, and thought, "BITBUCKET"! <showing my age> -Voz
  • *Raises hand* -ThirdOfFive
  • 109. LEROY!!!
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=261276434686687930&q=wow+leroy
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • SFW -neuman1812
  • the pacing of the leader during the huddle was interesting. hehe LEROY!!! -illiterate
  • ahh leeroy. whats worse is s immitating him during a paintball game :) -Harm
  • From what I read from the rest of the WoW community, the entire video was, in fact, staged. Still funny, if not pretty old. -snJimboip
  • Enjoyed it even tho it was staged. Enjoyed the WOW porn song too. Does that mean I am demented? Or just normal for a tech? -ecoli
  • 110. New game
    Make sure you sound is on. the effects will help http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=kKGxaol4qws&eurl=&iurl=static13.youtube.com/get_still.php?video_id=kKGxaol4qws -Blue3c
  • Aww... and I missed out on so much by turning my sound off. :P -Galandar
  • phuking bastard! got me good! -JoeLugian
  • If that link doesn't work let me know. Also watch the link I added last. -Blue3c
  • Oh, you little bastard. <g> -viennasausage
  • Now there's someone who gonna rack up some nice shrink bills later in life..... -virtualchoirboy
  • level 3 is a complete bastard!!!!Gaah! -3p0ch
  • *runs and hides* EEEEEEk! I want a new heeeaaaaaarrtttt! -shadowkat
  • yah my personal Father of the year award goes to..... -Blue3c
  • LMFAO! I expected something, but that was nicely done. -Voz
  • quick way through :- right click - move mouse to red square, and then left click - automatic win! -madonnac
  • madonnac: didnt quiet work on level 3, I think its a guaranteed loss :p (or I did it wrong...) -evolvedstarfish
  • i'm gonna kill you now. -linuxmatt
  • lmao @ the whole thing... -MadJack
  • Well, that's what I get for clicking before reading comments! (Now, will someone PLEASE give me CPR?) -Captain Trips
  • I would send this to my wife, but fear I would be punished beyond this realm if I did...LOL now PLEASE pass me the Heart Paddles....[CLEAR]..... -Jax
  • Coors (I think) had a similar frost clearing game -NOFXfan
  • I turned my sound up a bit to much, not only made me jump, but half the people down the hall! LMAO! -Gunpe
  • Saddly, I wasn;t much surprised. The thing about understand social engeneering is to expect what will happen. (Hell, I even knew what the winning image would be fore it happened) -ShujinTribble
  • NEUMAN! /Seinfeld -JoeLugian
  • Bloody Hell it got me..... Level 3, Somehow I thought it would be like that... -d4rkf1re
  • Aversion Therapy? How to keep your kids from being on the computer for hours at a time.... -Psudo
  • 111. Another You know your a geek..
    You know your a geek when you wake up in the middle of the night becuase you had a nightmare about a computer attacking you so you go to your computer to chekc your mail only to find the hard drive containing you collection of Japannese school-girl tentacle porn has crashed...
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I mean..drive of technical manuals..ya..thats it -neuman1812
  • yes... technical manuals and flow charts.. not porn at all nope... now to recover my 17 GB or technical matirial.. yes.. ccna and that.. not naked womens. nope. tech stuff. LOOK OVER THERE! -Harm
  • One person's technical manuals are another person's pr0n... Discuss. -racermd
  • So do you have an IP and available FTP Server running so you can share with the rest of the class? -ShujinTribble
  • OH NOES!!!!! That's the worst thing I ever heard! I'm so sorry, need to borrow some of mine?? -TranceGemini
  • TG- YES! we all do - in fact we didn't even know you made vids! cam shots yes and boobies but full blown TranceGemini! *wibbles* -Harm
  • TG Id love to borrow some of yours... if you are the star.. :) -neuman1812
  • *Waves my hand* I'll volunteer to host is on my server *G* -halitech
  • Heh heh heh....'blown' -Parilla
  • Japanese technical porn? -concept14
  • 112. Muscrosft Users
    Dont ask why i was reading this comic. But I found this to be very funny http://boymeetsboy.keenspot.com/d/20030730.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • That's pretty funny. So...why were you reading that comic? *LART shelter!...Ho!* -missourimule
  • Makes me think of Friendly Hostility, though. -namor
  • *shrug* I've got copies of Out, On Our Backs, and The Advocate sitting around. Good writing is good writing. >>>>> [fifteen minutes later, after starting on comic archive] Okay, this one is gettin' bookmarked: it already made me laugh out loud. I love it... Guy outs himself to his mom, who is upset --- not because he's gay, but because his boyfriend is Roman Catholic and not Jewish ("I'll give you a million dollars and three choir boys to leave my son alone"). -MeanDean
  • "Make it two million and an old bitter nun and Ill consider it!" -neuman1812
  • Namor: Yes, "Boy Meets Boy" was the earlier strip from the creator of "Friendly Hostility." -concept14
  • Nice! That one's going up in my cube, right next to the Dilbert someone posted here a while back. -TechnoCat
  • 113. Bill Clinton VS Titanic
    I lost a good monitor to this one http://bash.org/?610847. From the makers of Bash.org
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Now THAT'S funny!! -MadJack
  • Hehehe! He said seamen! -TheGhost
  • morning coffee + TSC + Bash = GT scrambling for a towell to wipe off monitor, keyboard, mouse, desk, etc. Damn that was funny. -GratefulTech
  • 114. Here's to another 30
    Even tho my parents dont read this site I just want to wish them a Happy 30th Aniversary!

    I asked my parents how they did it and My mom said "The person you married is not the person you love, its your best friend, Loves just a perk of the relationship...and lots of sex.

    YUK MOM!

    Congrats! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • My inlaws have been married, living, and working together for 35 years. When asked how they did it: "Sex. If not for that, we'd have killed each other." -Bobsentme
  • Pass along my best wishes and congratulations to them. -JustAGirl
  • Listen mate, your Mum got it precisely right. My 30th wedding anniversary was 2 years ago - works for me! -Gromit
  • pass along my congrats as well. Nice to hear about the good ones. -ShujinTribble
  • 115. ahhh to be 15 again
    http://www.tennis-x.com/story/2005-03-13/d.php
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Hmm... Can't drink, can't drive, can't leave school grounds for lunch, never been laid, homework... -CyBear
  • If I knew now what I knew then, hooboy! (Note to self: Hire a teenager while they still know everything.) -Captain Trips
  • can't legaly drink - can't legaly drive... the novelty of woman and lust confused for love. Could do with out the acne and social issues. -Harm
  • I got yer "Hot Sauce" right here, pal o' mine. -viennasausage
  • <Five for Fighting> "....I'm fifteen years for a moment..." -CTYankee
  • Stiffler? -burrkiss
  • ....and on that note, Stifflers mom AINT hot. -burrkiss
  • Wasn't the actress who played Stifler's Mom also that 'ho' Ireenie in Pootie Tang? -StylinTechie
  • She also played the older woman who fscked Hawk in Detroit Rock City, and she was in a Hulk Hogan movie. Or was it a Chuck Norris movie? Anyway it was one of those black-ops-vigilante-team movies where they break into the villa in France to kidnap back the child whose rich businessman father stole her away...uhm...carry on with your posting... -TranceGemini
  • It's Jennifer Coolidge. IMDB is great. She was also in Legally Blonde. And she's not that great, but for the first time in high school, that would be something. -PaseoGuy
  • 116. Time to brag
    My GF..Who is gorgeous.. Who comes from money.. Who is currently mainting a 3.7gpa.. now is staring in a commercial for the bank she works at..

    just wanted to say, move along now [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Sweet. -ThreeBucks
  • How come you are living my fantasy???? -CyBear
  • <grammar nazi> why is she *staring* in a commercial? Won't her eyes get dry? Better get her some Visene! <LART Shelter! Stat!> -CTYankee
  • You meant Visine, right CTYankee? <To the LART shelter! AWAY!> -rokitt
  • willing to share the Boobie pictures? -Harm
  • Your girlfriend is an open-source release for the use of all TSCers, right? *follows to LART shelter* -Mewtwo
  • <RedvsBlue mode> We don't belive you. send us naken pictures for confirmation. preferably something tastefull, must include cowgirl hat and boots.<RvB mode off> -Harm
  • What's the deel with all the miss spellings in these comments? -ChuckBiscuits
  • Geeze, you would have thought I was the one leaving those comments. -drachen
  • neu - PLEASE tell me you Love her too. That would simply make this a clean swep</intentional Mispleeing> -ShujinTribble
  • Gorgeous and wealthy GF??!! What kind of geek are you? A respected tech can NOT have such a GF! I'll pass a motion to expell you from TSC for blatant violation of the geekness code! </envy mode> ;-) -TheGhost
  • Link to commercial? Puuhhleeeezeee *puppy-dog eyes* -CivilWarTech
  • 3.7 gigapascals? Pretty sure her blood pressure shouldn't be that high... -Diptera
  • Well, I have heard some girls described as 'pneumatic', just as long as she doesn't mind being 'pumped' anyway! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Someone find me one like that who likes CHICKS! -TranceGemini
  • 117. Ummm...
    OPPS! (story to follow)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Oooo! I can hardly wait. -FuzzyElf
  • "Tech screws up, film at 11" -Snakeeye
  • 118. follow up to OPPS

    Citrix..I hate!!!!

    People who Use Citrix.. I HATE!!!!!

    The knuckleheads that decided to put an application on Citrix so the Field users can do their yearly numbers ..you guessed it, I hate!

    The same fucktards that decided that, 2 weeks at the begining of the year is all they need to acomplise this, ARGGG...!!!!

    The Crazy people that decided that I should have rights to accidently delete this program off the Citrix server, weird.

    And me, for accidently deleting this program off the citrix server.. OPPS! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • That'll teach them to trust that you know what your doing. :P -drachen
  • Dimly heard is the server room equivalent of Hollywood's call for "MAKEUP!"...in this case, "BACKUPS!" -Grue
  • I hate Citrix. I remember a job that I had where everything revolved around Citrix. Coworker: "Do you ever get the message with the aligator with the cowboy hat? I think it wants me to go on vacation while it rests". She was serious. -UnderLord
  • agreed, use to use citrix metaframe, unreliable, slow, spent more time down than up....then we tried using it...... -Jax
  • Citrix Sucks. -Gonzo
  • Dude...it's spelled, "oops." I'm REALLY sorry to hear about a colossal fuckup like deleting an app, and I hope you get out of it with your skin intact, but the way you spelled it rhymes with "hops." </pedantic bastard> -PaseoGuy
  • 119. DIE DIE DIE

    Me: Im sorry sire I cant realy hear you over that noise.. are you on a cell phone
    Him: No im on a headset..one sec... is that better?
    Me: Yes thank you. it sounded like you were on a highway
    Him: I am on rt 95
    Me: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I've seen far too many of these. "Sir, driving and talking on a cell phone is dangerous, and in some jurisdictions illegal. Company policy is that we do not provide support to people who are driving at the time. Please call again when you are stopped." <click> -chazz
  • On a headphone on a freeway. Well, at least he wasn't on a cell phone, right? (I didn't know you could plug headsets into freeways!) -Captain Trips
  • 120. Its been a while
    First post of the day!!! do i win a prize? maby i can finally get the t-shirt i ordered when i bought my star...months ago..
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • How about a dictionary or some spell checking software???? < runs for LART shelter laughing hysterically > -TubPorsche
  • how about some free pumpkin pron http://tinyurl.com/8rfz -drachen
  • Bad grammar and punctuation makes Santa angry. -modeski
  • Actually, it reminds me of my husband's spelling (he has a reading disability and "maby" is one of his most frequent mistakes). Thanks for making me smile. :) -TechMama
  • 121. Anything Clause..
    When I ask you if you have ANYTHING else under my computer besides local disk c: and local disk d: and you say No. I will believe you

    After spending 20min troubleshooting your CD-Rom problem, you come back with "I got it working" and you say that you tried it under the "e:" drive. I will ask you WHY YOU DIDNT MENTION IT BEFORE!!! The ANYTHING CLAUSE in my original question covers that e: drive you farking moron. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • is that a corralary to rule #1? -gashach
  • Is it possible e: only appeared after your diligent and effective tech support, but the *fish lacks the faculties to realize that that changed? -Dj
  • Yhat's when I ask, 'What do you see...?' However, that could take just as long. -Zayda
  • 122. Xbox
    Read the Comments with the picture First http://techrepublic.com.com/2300-22_11-5950908-41.html

    Now Read this http://next-gen.biz/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1712&Itemid=2

    opps... [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Microsoft products have problem you say? This must shorely be a joke. -burrkiss
  • Sounds like their hardware is as buggy at launch as their software. Why am I not surprised by this? <sigh> -Gromit
  • I used to work with some xbox testers.. I should get back in touch, see if anyone has a story for me. -illiterate
  • heh any all my friends ditched their last classes to go buy thiers and gave me a hard time about not buying one...I think i'll let them work the bugs out before I buy a new system. -Slycat
  • I bet Sony's Playstation 3 group is having a good laugh about now. -Starfury
  • *pats his trust Commodore 64* I have no problems with my gaming rig :D -Jax
  • 1Up.com had a rather interesting story on this. One of their writers, named Jeff Wagoner, contributed the following -- " As cries of Xbox 360 defects in the United States have consumed the online world in the past 48 hours since the launch, it has been discovered that Sony is apparently the fuel to the fire. Known as "Project Light Flame" it has been revealed that third-party employees of a Sony subsidiary named Koyeo are actually being paid to insight negative views upon the newly released console. Why you ask? Because Sony themselves are gearing up for a launch of their new console, the Playstation 3. More news to come as soon as it's available..." Somehow this doesn't surprise me in the least. -HidariMak
  • So Sony is astroturfing? Why should they be any different from Microsoft? MS paid people to post positive comments about Windows products in the newsgroups; fake grassroots -> astroturf. -chazz
  • The overheating seems to be from the power supplies, not the CPUs: http://games.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/27/158237&tid=211&tid=1 -SalParadise
  • 123. Wardriving
    MeanDean'ss story about war driving just reminded me of a little quote someone said.

    I was explaining to my GF's brother what wardriving was and that is usually includes a pringles can. His reponse "For me war driving is doing 50mph on the back of a Humvee while shooting a 50cal"

    He had just gotten back from Iraq..so he won that conversation [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • UPDATE THE DRIVERS! UPDATE THE DRIVERS! -DrLecter
  • "...at 50cent, listening to Van Halen's 5150..." *grins, ducks and runs* (Seriously? Soldier-style wardriving for-the-win, baby.) -GreyDuck
  • My vote is for a Deuce-and-a-half with a M16 Maxson mount on the rear bed. 4 x 0.5" M2s <BFEG>. -Wraith556
  • I'd love to do that kind of wardriving around here. What with the construction on every major artery in the city, every moment of the day and night is rush hour. :P -Jay911
  • I prefer launching ICBM's. Harder for the enemy to shoot back. (I was involved in the launching of 6 Polaris missiles once.) Fun1 -atomicbill
  • 124. Stores want a new....
    Email sent regarding the process for a new system in the stores

    CSTM:
    HARDWARE
    MOUSE
    FS OFFICE
    NOT FOUND

    DESCRIPTION: Front Store Reporting That They Do Not Have A Mouse

    CAUSE: A mouse is needed for (new system store)
    SOLUTION:
    1. Check the following Rollout Schedule for Region 13 to make sure the store is listed: blablabla 2. If the store is NOT on the above list, advise them that they will receive a mouse prior to their area going live with (new store system)

    3. If the store IS on the above list, they should already have a mouse. Have the caller check around the controller, inculding behind the monitor.
    4. If the mouse is not found or has become disconnected, assign to FTS as a Severity 3 to install.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • And the obvious: "I WANT A NEW MMMOOOOOUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!" -d4rkf1re
  • "or has become disconnected, assign to FTS" because to install a mouse by the hands of a store manager would result in catastrophy. -d4rkf1re
  • Tell them to look under the fridge too. Mice are known to hide there. Of course, that's only if the store IS on the list. :) -TheGhost
  • I wonder if it actually said, "inculding behind the monitor." -FuzzyElf
  • If it's a cordless mouse it probably ran away. -robbor
  • fussy...that is copied Directly from that email.. It does say that. Darkfire and taienna con both confirm that as they have seen the original -neuman1812
  • 125. Co-irker POTD
    "If i want to setup a rule to move message from someone to a personal folder, do I select move messages?"

    this guy works with me on the helpdesk.... [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Uh oh, you are in real trouble then. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • No, you select poke me in the eye with a sharp stick. -robbor
  • 126. Bomb threat!
    Too funny and almost scary. A store just called regarding their credit machines not accepting debit cards. This has been an ongoing issue since june. The Store manager told me they had several techs out to look at the issue, and that he's at his wits end because this is ongoing. After getting his relevant information he told me that the next option he wants to take is using a pipbomb.....

    I so wish we had a call record button.. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Hell, I say report it in the notes. Let someone else deal with the guy. -ThreeBucks
  • Technically, he didn't say he'd use it in the store. But, if the machine goes missing, you'll know it went out with a bang! -Bobsentme
  • ofrfice space style beating on a debit machine? -putahtek
  • Bloody scary things, pipbombs <g> -lineswine
  • Gladys Knight and the Pipbombs... "Midnight Raid on Cash Machine" -Mushroom
  • A pipbomb is when an annoying, little English kid leaves a shit in Cartman's toboggan. ;) -viennasausage
  • I've suggested sending a guy w/ a sledgehammer before when we couldn't resolve a problem. -Darth
  • I've suggested sending a guy w/ a sledgehammer before when we couldn't resolve a problem. -Darth
  • ...or doubleposting... -Darth
  • 127. Bash.org
    ok, am I missing somthing? is Bash.org down?
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • yup. -Bynar
  • I thought it had fallen over because of the netsplit... happened at about the same time. But it hasn't come back yet. -chazz
  • Glad it's not just me. -Mango
  • not as many updates but for browsing http://bash.fi has tons of quotes and most/all of the quotes from bash.org. just uncheck finnish in language selection to get only english quotes -Lehk
  • oh i forgot to add a link to http://qdb.us another quotes site -Lehk
  • I think this has happened before. I don't think their hosting is as stable as it used to be... -Wiser
  • 128. Uber-Squirrel on crack?
    http://www.theregister.com/2005/10/10/london_squirrel_terror/ oh the horror!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I think it was worse this time. -Shevaresh
  • First line of the article, "Stop me if you've heard this one." -Answerboy
  • Yes!!! My plan is working!!!!.. umm, I mean that's really sad.. -STJ
  • And I thought Pill-Z was just an internet cartoon... Creamy-creamy-cream cheese. -d4rkf1re
  • "Medicated baaaaaaybee heads!" </Pillz-E> Just say NO to crack, you nutty squirrels! -Mushroom
  • 129. Uber-Squirrel on crack?
    http://www.theregister.com/2005/10/10/london_squirrel_terror/ oh the horror!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • not to be confused with foamy? -illiterate
  • hello? Ive not had a beer yet and im seeing double... -Jax
  • Squirrelly wrath... -AmazingKreskin
  • 130. Taieena
    if you get this message drop me a line at my charter acount.. I forgot the outside number for work and need to call in
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • i know i'm not Taieena *checks hisself*, nope... but if you need a number, how about 8.... -duckhead
  • farking car accident last night took out my rear passenger wheel Im OK.. but my car wont move.. dammint! and Now ive forgotten the outside line for work -neuman1812
  • dang, that sux... hope everything/one is ok -duckhead
  • Taieena is my alter ego. Wadda want cutie? My # is 8657309. -burrkiss
  • Brain bleach please, and before the brain bleach takes effect, hope your ok N. -Wolfie0827
  • *blinks* IUmmm, burrkiss, how can you be me when I'm me already? -taieena
  • Would that be some kind of weird split personality Burkiss and Taieena? -ecoli
  • Turkiss? Baieena? -Frazzled
  • burrkiss isn't taieena, he's Jenny! With one slight transposition of numbers. :) -viennasausage
  • 42 -sarge
  • 131. Fark it all!
    OK so Im sitting here with a pain in my leg due to a recident accident(Im fine..minor scraps and a bruised leg) and Im working on my server which decided to shit the bed on me the other night. So im trying to get raid setup on it. I put in the windows CD.. load the required drivers at f6, and wait...and wait...and wait.. it seems to be hang at the

    "Examining 114471 MB Disk 0 at Id 0 on bus 0 on..blablabal"

    anyone have any idea?

    I would toss it..But I dont feel like standing right now. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • should mention.. Fastrak raid system on a ga7-dpxwp server board -neuman1812
  • I'd check if there's RAID access in ROM at startup, set it up from there and do the Win stuff after that. -Grue
  • delete the array and see if you can load the raid drivers when there is 2 drives. either that or start checking the drives for failures using powermax or whatever. -putahtek
  • 132. What spyware?
    So i found a need little thing build into our work computers..SMS management. YA.. ok so its not neat, but what is neat is the fact that I can run some queries on the systems.

    So for my first test of the query system I set it to look for the dreaded hotbar. Guess what it found.. Very few computers..less than 20. this is good except for one thing. There are 5 of our Citrix servers infected..out joy..and here I am without the power to access the servers to remove it. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • used that quite a bit during my work experience but i had the access to remove said shite -starfishmagnet
  • Ok, Moronic PFY here...Whats SMS management and how do you use it? (A link would be Much apprieciated) -vrek
  • http://www.microsoft.com/smserver/default.mspx --Basically its a management system that allows you to poll systems on a network for information about computers on the network, and also allows you to remotely install programs/security settings. -neuman1812
  • I must admit that I thought first of somekind of over-the-mobile-phone management/query system... -NordicPT
  • 133. 1 Down 10k left
    Last call of the day Sat night Approx 9pm A Women calls up, The fun Begins

    Thank you for calling bla bla bla
    I just got my laptop and Ive been waiting 9 weeks to get it, and its never worked right and now im home and you have to help me
    Ok well what are you trying to do?
    Im trying to get on the VPN and I have dsl
    *see previous story about our companys VPN over DSL* Is giving you any errors?
    *some weird error Ive never heard of before* OK can you try the Dial up option for me so we can see if its your DSL modem or not?

    At this point I can what sounds like she having a hard time breathing....No such luck. after waiting like 30 sec for a response All i here is her CRYING! mumbling somthing about 500 emails and waiting all this time for a laptop and then I here "You suck" in between sobs and then a dial tone.

    I finially get to say I put someone in tears now! [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • too bad you didn't put her in the grave -srteach
  • It's always memorable when they start openly sobbing. One starfish started crying because I wouldn't replace his monitor. Never mind the fact that it was purchased second hand, was 8 years old, and was made by our competitors. -HidariMak
  • Damn Neu.. I wish I was here for that one, you should have told her you'll transfer her to the psychiatric department.... cuz she gots issues... -d4rkf1re
  • MCB re-appears? -lineswine
  • "...issues"? That's a damned SUBSCRIPTION! -ShujinTribble
  • music to my ears ( oh your about to lose your 100k/year job cause we have an outage in the area? ohh i'm SOO sorry you didn;t get a back up connection. What can you do? update the old resume... nope- no ETA.. nope- can;t send out a tech till monday. Oh your screwed? ohh too bad. maybe next job you'll get you'll think about redundancy.. but then again thats what the fries are for right? *click*) -Harm
  • Shujin -- you a David Roth fan too? -BobP
  • 134. down farking store procedure*RANT*
    ---WARNING RANT----

    back ground I work ISHD (internal support) but Im trained on SSHD (store support) different department, Im not even in the same area as them.

    When we get a call on the "down store" line The process includes calling the CCL (critical contact lead) and informing them of the tickt# and store# so they can monitor the process.

    after taking 3 down store calls, in a row, I have YET to be able to contact the CCL and inform them of the situation. The floor monitors dont answer, the Leads dont answer, and the CCL doesnt answer. O well, there are now three down stores in the company and nobody seems to care.

    The floor monitors I can understand (walking around) Leads (maby- only 2) BUT THE CCL! all you handle are CRITICAL CALLS! Hense CRITICAL CONTACT LEAD! how many critical calls do you take in a day? 6-10 MABY. ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE YOU WASTES OF SHIT.

    and dont you dare try to blame me for not contacting you. Ive left you voice mails and Ive sent the ticket directly to you. My ass is covered.

    ---END RANT-- [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • <DA>Maybe they we're busy dealing with the same issue</DA> but in my experience you're right no one answers the phone ever -NOFXfan
  • I could understand this once in a while..BUT EVERY TIME! in the last 2 months I have been able to get a lead/ccl a totle of 3 times -neuman1812
  • Time to bring out Manager Lart. -Bobsentme
  • maybe it's the stores' fault(s?) for going down, call them back and tell them to get off their knees and take it like a man. -drachen
  • Maybe the ISHD and the SSHD should both work on the CCL ASAP & PDQ! TTFN! -ActingUpAgain
  • Good thing you CYA'd. As stated before DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! -deskmonkey
  • I agree. People answering phones when you really NEED them is a rarity nowadays, IMHO. Now for the obligatory play on all the acronyms: OICU812? PB4UGO2BED. Thanks, and good-night ;) -fdiskcuresall
  • Hey - CCL - GFY! -lineswine
  • 135. ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit
    sorry blind tech

    My gf's b-day is tomarrow and i forgot to get a gift. she's turning 22 HELP!!!!!! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Give her the same thing I gave her: An hour of your time. <BEFG> -Bobsentme
  • Music, flowers, card, ONE piece of candy. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I suggest you give her a clean, sharp knife. She's going to cut your balls off anyway so you might as well make sure she doesn't use a blunt, rusty one. Been nice knowing you... <eg> -Gromit
  • Stop on the way home and buy something. You know, at a "brick & mortar" place. They DO still exist in most places. [/sarcasm] Good luck! :D -Grue
  • Try pampering her - candlelit dinner, back/shoulder rub with scented oil, run her a bath with rose petals on the water, etc...takes very little time to setup, and will probably mean more to her than just something you bought (within reason, im sure diamonds/gem of choice might be a bigger hit ~g~) -PCRaevyn
  • A cowworker of mine just suggested commiting sucide. Im considering it at this point. I get out a 8pm when most places are closed in the area. But i will be looking into some overnight delivery places -neuman1812
  • I hope she doesn't read the boards, you still have time to get away with it... just don't blow it -NOFXfan
  • oh I thought of something else you could always be a cuning linguist if you know what I mean wink wink nudge nudge -NOFXfan
  • NOFX, hopefully she gets that more than once a year. Neumann, buy her something that is simple (not cheap and not an iron), get her some flowers, take her out for a good dinner. You know where if you've listened to her (Driving in the car, she points out the window at a resturant "Ohh that place looks neat, I'd like to go there sometime"...). Open her door, pull out her chair, etc. Then do what she wants the whole night. -deskmonkey
  • You could have a friend/family member go and buy something for you that you could pick up after work. -Starfury
  • Cogsworth said it best "flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..." Seriously, though, as a female who has been with her man for 15 years, it's gifts that come from the heart that mean the most. It doesn't matter what you pay for them. I wrote him a poem for our first Valentines Day, he still has it and it didn't cost a dime, it's just how I was feeling. Several years from now, she may not remember the gift, but she will remember the love. -persephone
  • I'd have to say being a cunning linguist works wonders too. I'd have to say get a tattoo of her name <wink>.... Nah worth hurting yourself, you could always just be like, "What time with me isn't enough for you anymore!" Although that doesn't seem to work too well.... Nah... Just tell her to unwrap the present in front of her... If it doesn't work out you can always send her to my gf and I <wink> just kidding, you'll finger it out.... -d4rkf1re
  • Btw, as far as candlelit dinner goes - neu, i meant cooking her dinner - presuming you can cook. If not, some nice places will do takeout... what it boils down to, is whatever you do, it has to be obvious it was with *her* in mind, with obvious thought - and sometimes that is surprisingly easy. Just don't panic :), take a deep breath, think of what she likes, and see if that gives you any ideas as to how to pamper her. -PCRaevyn
  • Use a service like FTD and send her flowers. they usually do same day delivery and you can order online without ever talking to a person. -My Cat Athena
  • Pass her to me, say it's a surprise gift, I'll do the rest. [Oh, hi darling... Me? No, never. Heh heh. Her? Just doing a brother a favor. No? Uh....] -Mushroom
  • Divorce from first wife $16000 Tax bill to I.R.S. from failed business $50,000 Wife who forgets her bithday (Oct 20) and our anniversary (20 years Nov 15) priceless! -volmtech
  • Wally World is open 24hr/day. Sounds crappy, but Im sure you can find a nice set of flowers, a couple of cards (I usually do one serious and one jokey), candy, and other fun bits. If you need a large main present, then just think of a general category, and tell her that you really wanted to get her the right thing so you're taking her with you to get it tomorrow. She'll appreciate the fact that you value her opinion enough to give her the final call. BTW, remove ALL tags from the items. Wally World doesnt conjure romantic thoughts. -Darkridr
  • Deep dickin. -burrkiss
  • burrkiss, that your answer for everything, including "whats for dinner tonight?" *grin* -Darkridr
  • Make her something if you get time tonight at work? Seriously... Persephone is right- the best gifts are the ones that come from the heart. You've been with ehr for 5 years, so you know her and what she likes... (OF course, this is coming from the gal who asked her boyfriend to colour a picture from her son's colouring book for Christmas instead of buying her anything since it's somethihg homemade!) -taieena
  • 136. I cant believe it....
    I just had an IT TECH call me on the way to one of our sites, he asked me and I kid you not "How do i setup these printers?"
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • and did you respond: "The same way you set up any other printer?" <click> -JH
  • "Well that depends on how high the cabinets they will be on are." </du dum dum> -wwonka
  • "Well that depends on how high the cabinets they will be on are." </du dum dum> -wwonka
  • Place on top of high shelf, lay head on table, pull on power cord so printer falls on head. Repeat as necessary! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Oh, *those* printers. Well, first you take your fahrfugnugen cable and plug it into the thingamahwhatsits port on the *left* side of the printer. Not the *right* side, cause that'll cause the printer's jigamabob sensor to burn out, which'll void the warranty. Then you... -missourimule
  • Plant drugs on it and then make an anonymous call to the tipline... -Mushroom
  • LOL at Mushroom -thx1138
  • "If you can't set up a printer, why are we paying you?" -Geminii
  • To be fair to the IT tech, I have had those days where I can't seem to remember the simplist things. I forgot how to spell ipconfig and was trying all sorts of combos (ipcfg, ipconfg, ip_config, etc). Needless to say I felt really smart. :) -Ksnarf
  • 137. The call that got me

    Background: We here at *Large Pharmaceutical company* have a vpn for remote users. This VPN...well sucks. And when I mean suck I don’t mean in the nice Burkiss family friendly sort of way. I mean in that my god you're all going to hell Foamy squirrel sort of way.
    If you are behind a router, forget it
    If you are at a hotel, forget it!
    If you have DSL, Forget it!
    Basically if you want to use it FORGET IT!
    The issue is so bad with this vpn that I have become so used to telling people you are SOL that I don’t even flinch anymore at their moaning.

    Fade to Today:
    It started like any other call:

    "My internet is broken FIX IT!"
    Ok sir, how are you connected?
    “Well I need this right away and I have to get on the inter…. (5min of useless information)”
    Ok well how are you connected?
    “I bought this service at a “Large Hotel chain” and they told me I could get online no problem, they even said they had worked with our company before and that they had set up a special account just for our users so I know I'm not behind a proxy or a router”

    At this point I stopped listening, I’ve never been able to get the VPN to work at this particular chain of stores, never mind work at all. So I was just prepared my speech to him

    ME: zzzzzzzzz…huh what? Ok well you’re at a hotel and we have had problems…

    At this point a coworker told me to try something, something that I’ve done before that has never helped. What The heck says I. Cant hurt right?

    So I tell the user. Instead of connecting to vpn.companyname.com, try this IP address x.x.x.x.
    The user puts in the information and I wait..I wait for the inevidable error “Unable to connect”
    It does not come.
    Instead I here the user say. ITS CONNECTING!

    Well I’m sorry sir tha….what?
    It connected
    Under my breath I say "Holy shit it worked?"
    Apparently I forgot the mute button, the user just laughs and says
    You weren’t expecting that to work were you?
    No not really.

    Pleasantries were exchanged I said, “Have a nice day” and promptly fainted [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • It's been that kinda day, hasn't it ? Hell must be freezing over... -Spyder19
  • The problem with hell freezing over is that I still have to come into work the next day -battybeyond
  • Pinpoints the error, though, doesn't it? Someone hosed / didn't create the appropriate DNS entry in Networking, did they? -CTYankee
  • Hah. Don't start with VPNs. Had a call ref'd to me by a sales rep - hospital setting up a VPN, not working on DSL, works on cable, will lose some 150-200 doctors' accounts if we don't get it working. Spend a month, go back and forth with a couple of techs from the IT consultants setting it up, one of our DSL network engineers (very cool guy) and what does the problem turn out to be? A setting in the software for NAT Traversal that they missing. -namor
  • If that hotel's guest internet is working like the hotel system I do support for (build on IP/DNS server spoofing) it's entirely possible that you can't get VPN access with server names, but with IPs you do - esp. if you are connected w/WLAN to hotel network. -NordicPT
  • 138. Gutter link-NSFW
    http://www.usa-clan.com/wally/clean.bmp large BMP with bad editing. but funny. from a call i took earlier
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Programmers have to realize that there is no reasonable abbreviation for "cumulative"... -chazz
  • Be glad they didn;t try to add in there "Gross Aggregate" (GAgg) -ShujinTribble
  • On a side note.... >>I F%^&(%&%'ING HATE BMP<< What Screwedup brainless twat-smearing dick-spray came up with the idea for this "graphic format"?! I mean... SHIT! -ShujinTribble
  • I wasted 3 MEGABYTES that could have been pr0n on THAT? It reduces down to a 71K PNG file! -Divinar
  • Dual Inline Cumulative Koprocessor? -burrkiss
  • man i got prom clips smaller then that! -Harm
  • We have a database table called ANAL_SLOT_PROFILES <put obvious INSERT comments here>. What fun you can have when you are writing software. It must be an internal app as how would they get that past QA. -martianowen
  • Chazz: cumul, cml, cmltv... -Veinor
  • reading qdb.us quotes at work? -Lehk
  • or is that bash.org? -Lehk
  • You know, there is this file format called JPG. I think they use it on the web, or so I've heard. -robbor
  • 139. Denis Leary song
    Remember that song Dennis Leary sings? A33hole..http://www.usa-clan.com/wally/Comedy_Denis%20Leary_Videos_Dennis%20Leary%20-%20Asshole% heres the video :) SO NOT SWF
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • That's the first song on my iPod :) Many a commute to work singing that one to myself... -fdiskcuresall
  • <a href='http://www.usa-clan.com/wally/Comedy_Denis%20Leary_Videos_Dennis%20Leary%20-%20Asshole%20(Uncensored).mpg' target=_blank>Offsite Link</a> -StylinTechie
  • the above link isn't pretty but it works *wanders off looking for an HTML refresher manual* -StylinTechie
  • Stylin' - it inserts the _blank by itself, too. -namor
  • i keep that song on any and all list/CDs i make. -Harm
  • I've got that song with a video clip. It has scenes from a multiplayer HALO game. It more-or-less sums up LAN-gaming in general. -Wraith556
  • I always liked that song. I am not an agressive driver in general, but if someone is tailgating me at 70mph, I will find the vehicle going 2mph under and hang in next to it just to piss of the tailgater. Then I tap my brakes. [BFEG] -ThreeBucks
  • not swf? so, it's not a shockwave flash file? <runs giggling to the LART Shelter> -Bynar
  • 140. Whats more sad?
    The fact they make them or the fact that I now have 2?

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/7825/ [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Neither - the mains-power version of that serves as a nightlight for our younger boy. -Grue
  • What Grue said. I'm actually thinking of getting one of the line-powered ones for my office... I don't like the look of the "snowflakes", it looks a little too... twinkly... for my taste. -chazz
  • hmm solid red 9 with out the glittery stuff0 woudl be nice.. i could deal with a couple of those... -Harm
  • Wow man, farm out, right arm, out of state and solid!!! -atomicbill
  • Chazz - I'm not in the mood to power anything, let alone a lava lamp! -lineswine
  • Atomibill - Let's not forget 'Heavings'. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Atomibill - And 'Farm Trout'. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 141. Urban myth Come true
    Nice old Texas women calls up from one of our stores. The main computer monitor is all blury. My first thought to say was clean your glasses..but I held my tongue.

    So i tell her we need to check the cable going from the monitor to the computer just to make sure its in tight. (These get mooved around so they are often knocked out of place) I have her describe the computer to me, so i know which model she has. She says its black with 2 wires comming out of the back.

    2 wires? on a computer? Our systems have minimum kb/vid/mouse/power/net/printer/other computer hardware. Were looking for one with at lest 6 or 7 cables.

    She says no just Two.
    Not possiable says I, Whats the model Number?
    Her Response "E74"

    Ya..and I get to take these calls till 11pm..been here since 7am [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • BINGO!!! -Ulfgaard
  • Could you please splain this one to me? -Veinor
  • i am guessing its a modem not a computer? -SGTARKyTEK
  • It's an IBM monitor: http://www-306.ibm.com/pc/support/site.wss/MIGR-4ECUYK.html -FredKlein
  • Ah... right. -Veinor
  • When I worked for the cows, I used to get calls all the time where I'd ask for the serial # off the back of the PC, and they would start reading off a number that was way too long. When I would tell them, "That's the monitor", they would invariably reply, "Oh, I thought that was the computer, and the other box was the modem." -AmazingKreskin
  • 142. Penut butter and jelly time!
    http://www.inflash.com/x.php?link_id=511
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Where-ya'at! Where-ya'at! Where-ya'at! Where-ya'at! There-ya'go! There-ya'go! There-ya'go! There-ya'go! (kinda catchy really!) :) -rokitt
  • No offense, but this is REALLY old. -TheSingingTech
  • 143. Regarding Pepsiguy
    Story about MASS dumping MS.

    Little expertise here.. being from MA and being that my Father works for the State..I can safly say now that this has been in thw works for some time (almost 1 year) In fact if it wasnt for the fact that I have this job I would be working with that state in the conversion process. I have seen the MS bill to the state and I can tell you it will save the state several MILLIONS in licensing fees. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Too funny. - Of course, the article shows that M$ pleaded with Munich not to abandon them. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't leave, we'll give you 90% discounts!" - I have this image of a Ferengi with Bill Gates' face standing in Quark's bar, oddly enough... -teivrann
  • LOL @ teivrann. What are they switching to? -renaultguy
  • renaultguy: What else? Linux and OpenOffice.org. -chazz
  • WHAT?! you lost your HD? no problem.. lemme re-burn you your UBUNTU Live CD... Gimme 5 minutes..... -ShujinTribble
  • 144. Case notes
    this is word for word in the resolution

    3 finger saluted controller

    did i mention these are my case notes? (evil grin) [By: neuman1812]
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  • *facepalms* Heh. -Warrick
  • Makes sense to ME. -Grue
  • Three-Finger-Saluting Win-ME should make sence. -ShujinTribble
  • a sledghammer to winME would make sense -srteach
  • http://searchwin2000.techtarget.com/sDefinition/0,,sid1_gci947105,00.html ohhhh -Jax
  • Does it count if I give it ONE FINGER 3 times? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I guess that note is a good way to separate out the old guard for the newbies :) -Oblivious
  • 145. Storm Fun
    If you call me and tell me your store cant submit its daily reports to the corporate office in RI.. and you inform me you are located in Mississippi.. I will laugh at you. Then inform you that you might want to wait till they have FIXED THE LINES in your area. (there is storage at a local level for just this reason)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • The real problem is that the bits get all twisted up in transmission! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • inform them that the problem is due to the katrinka virus, if they don't get it, direct them to mr. Dialtone. -drachen
  • TieDyedDinosaur: Not as I understand it. The tech I talked to told me that the packets get waterlogged and the little ones and zeros swell up and can't fit down the pipe anymore. The ones look like big sticks and the zeros look like plump donughts. I suggested he get some grease for his big stick and plump donught so they would slide down the pipe better but he just hung up on me. -scooby111
  • Scooby111 - Those are the ones and zeroes that were dropped by the crc-check failures at a major node. The bits that stay together get spun really fast just before they leave the atmosphere! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • 146. Tough sh$t
    Case notes

    Important stuff removed

    Recreated Profile, Issue resolved.

    Old profile (profilename)

    User Extemely Hostile, does not like the Look of the new profile. I explained that it would do this. User very Upset.

    I fixed issue with the dialer using this new profile, and TRIED MY BEST to get it to look like the old profile. User very upset that some of her programs are missing from the tool bar (user unaware that progrmas ARE ON THE DESKTOP!)

    I WILL NOT WORK WITH USER AGAIN.
    =========END TICKET

    I fixed your problem and now you hate me. silly me My mistake. NEXT TIME I WONT FIX YOUR PROBLEM YOU USELESS WASTE OF 02, GO BACK TO THE POND YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO BREATH MY AIR ANYMORE! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • You're here today???? -taieena
  • gutta love over time! -neuman1812
  • you out of the gene pool ! -s3r4phic
  • As I see it, you have three choices: 1) You deal with the cosmetics and have a working system 2) You switch back to the broken profile with the cosmetics you seem to like or 3) You go out and buy a new computer - basically putting you back to option 1 again. "So, luser... Are you feelin' lucky?" -ShujinTribble
  • I think, just as there is an airline blacklist, there should also be a customer black list as well. -haddytech
  • 147. My name is NSFW
    WALTER DAMMIT WALTER!!! WALTER.. NOT WILLIAM. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO CORRECT YOU ITS WALTER IM SPEAKING THIS CLEARLY TO YOU. IF YOU REFUSE TO CALL ME BY ANYTHING OTHER THAN MY NAME I WILL DISCONNECT THIS CALL.

    I corrected this user no less than 7 times.. and she still insisted on callimg me william.. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I'll try to get it right this time Bill. -Starfury
  • "Radar, is that you?" <g> -MadJack
  • you two are so dead right now -neuman1812
  • shirley, you can't be serious?</obvious airline gag> -drachen
  • If you don't have QA breathing down your neck, you can do a couple things: 1. Don't respond to stuff directed at the wrong name - when called on it, say: "You weren't talking to me, you were talking to <name>." 2. Start calling THEM by the wrong name...first, last, or both. When they call you on it, say: "I figure you're playing some sort of game, so I decided to play along!" -Grue
  • Neuman: At least it wasn't "Submit Bizatch!" ;-) -Necros
  • People call me Jim instead of Jeff all the time, i usually either ignore it, or tell them to reboot and if that doesn't fix it, call me back. if they call back in and ask for Jim, i wont have to deal with it. -torch
  • QA? whats that? <evil grin> -neuman1812
  • You need to use a really obscure mid-eastern accent that makes Walter sound just exactly like William. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • People sometimes call me Chris, instead of Sean... but the weird thing is, my brothers name is Chris, and they dont know my family. -haddytech
  • My name is Jim, but people call me... Jim. -CarbonTetra
  • My real name is Jessica. People call me Jennifer. Teachers. My boss. My classmates....my sister. Even people online think I should be called Jennifer. -Parilla
  • He says his name is Walter, but I'm sure it's Bill, Billy, Mac, or Buddy. -illiterate
  • People call me Mike. That's my dad's name but they don't know that/him. My name sounds nothing like Mike. [ROTFL Illiterate - your bride let you out to play? heheh] -Mushroom
  • Lemme Guess illiterate, your real name is SUE.. -neuman1812
  • *sigh* dont ask how ppl mangle romana, mmmkay? -timelady
  • My fav is ME: "Thank you for calling, MellowFellow speaking" SF: "Yes, can I speak to MellowFellow?" ME:"Oh sorry about that but he just left on break." -mellowfellow
  • "Dave's not here, man!" (I had to, and besides, Dave IS my name...) -Divinar
  • don't worry Bob, it happens to all of us. (my name is Ryan, I get Brian all the time - not too much of a stretch, but still...) -Bynar
  • heres what will really set you off quicker than that ...... when they think your a woman....... dont ask no i dont have an exceptionaly feminie voice i have a rather loud gravely voice. i would answer a call and they would keep calling me hon or some other crap unitl i would say actually its SIR...... < enter random backtracking and or hanging up the phone now > and on to the next moron SF -s3r4phic
  • Sumir Naga..... Naga.... Not gonna work here anymore anyway </OS quote> -d4rkf1re
  • Can't we just call you Willy? It's sorta like Wally, only not as cool. I mean...yeah. Hey Wally. :)<3 -TranceGemini
  • Bueller... Bueller... Bueller -srteach
  • william that is no way to speak about a customer!!!!teehee!!!! -starfishmagnet
  • Neuman: Next time, use an exaggerated Russian accent and tell them to call you 'Mr. Chekov'. Maybe they'll pick up on it somehow. "Oh, you're Walter KOENIG?" (Well, at least they'll get your first name right...) <HEG> -MadJack
  • Same here, my name is Kevin, yet at work they manage Rick, Mike, Keith and Ken??? -sarge
  • how does Scott sound like Jeff. This is the worst part I say it perfectly(my name) and I have my manager monitoring my call when I am saying my name like I am supposed to(which why wouldn't I know my own name) and they say hello Jeff. Thank god I left Sears. -Motient
  • "IF YOU REFUSE TO CALL ME BY ANYTHING OTHER THAN MY NAME I WILL DISCONNECT THIS CALL." So... you'll disconnect them if they call you by your name?</runs to the LART shelter, laughing madly> -Veinor
  • I get that. I've been called Roger a dozen times despite the fact my name's Robert. -Warrick
  • 148. Fine dont believe me...
    Quick background on my Center: we use a program called Peregrine. Ticketing agent/request software. You want anything in this company you submint a Request for it. If you dont have a line on the request you dont get it. Simple straight forward. On to the story

    user calls up with a request number, wants to know why the software she requested has not been installed yet. I tell her that it is not listed on the request. She begins to get angy at me that "I would never miss that! I get all my request right the first time! I do this all the time. I ask her if she can log in and take a look at the request. User does so, I hear silence and then she promply hangs up without saying anything. Gutta love thoes self larts. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • A nice way of telling 'em, "Hey. That's Life. Suck it Down...." -vacuumtubes
  • nice LART -Jax
  • Hehe nice self-lart. -AmdInside
  • What I want to know is, if she can access this system, why didn't she do that instead of calling? Oh...wait....that's right. She's a starfish. -kman52000
  • One of _those_ days up there, neuman? *comforts* -taieena
  • It is really too bad you can't call them back and demand an apology. -Griz
  • Nice - we use Peregrine here too, for trouble tickets/call records... -PCRaevyn
  • 149. Over time!
    3 virus + 11,171 computers + 5 techs = Over time!
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • no no no - 3 virus * 11,171 computers / 5 techs = 6703 repairs each. At 10 minutes per, that's over a thousand hours each ;-) -Divinar
  • You can say that again! -Parilla
  • Sniff sniff - I only have two servers and 20 machines - and NONE of them got infected. No Overtime for me :-( -Divinar
  • don't get overtime pay :( salaried -Armakuni
  • Single Malt (Well it's better than Single Time) -Wonko The Sane
  • That's nice! :) -rokitt
  • Don't be a dunce, just say it once. :-) -concept14
  • 150. Over time!
    3 virus + 11,171 computers + 5 techs = Over time!
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • You can say that again -FrontSideBus
  • Double Time -Wonko The Sane
  • "So nice, he said it twice!" -rokitt
  • 151. Over time!
    3 virus + 11,171 computers + 5 techs = Over time!
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • So good, it needed saying three times! -chazz
  • triplicate, you must really have a whole lot of overtime... -NOFXfan
  • I think you might have picked up a memory 'leak'! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • wow - that must be some good OT to warrent 3 posts :) -Harm
  • Kinda implies "triple overtime". -Grue
  • Dont anyone dare tell him "you can say that again" -FrontSideBus
  • I think I figured out what the 3 virus does. :) -Jay911
  • You can say that again! (You there in the cab! LART shelter, and quickly!) -Grayhawk
  • Tripple Time ? -Wonko The Sane
  • "So nice, he said it thrice!" -rokitt
  • 152. tsc bbq live cam
    http://68.239.187.219:8080

    paste into windows media player [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • chat live also -neuman1812
  • Uh, it keeps "buffering" between 6% and 35%... -EagleEye
  • Working for me :-) Noone's watching the bbq... -smellystudent
  • it might take a while for people to show up... were all still inside. -neuman1812
  • I've got it pulled up no problem. :~} -RiffRaff
  • "Paste into Windows Media Player". Bah. So those that don't suck that particular anal opening are out of watching, eh? *generally discontent due to leg infection* -ralphp1024
  • think we may have maxed out your uplink -- I don't see any movement at all. Is that a dog by the table there? -chazz
  • Ahhhhhhh! Ralph's a zombie, shoot him!!! <sorry, watching both the original and remake of Dawn of the Dead - little jittery right now> -namor
  • temporarily down due to wes needing connection for work related things, be back in a bit -rhiannon
  • 153. Co-irker email
    word for word, minus some other info

    anyone at th (other location) have any packs of sugar? i need 1 or 2. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • great its now a loop..looks like well be making a cake soon,. -neuman1812
  • can you e-mail me a cup of sugar? Just zip it up so it get's here easier.. -JoeLugian
  • and can you scan in some bagels and email em to me? And cream cheese? -ecoli
  • "I always liked the name Sausage and Biscuits myself." -Achmed the Snake -Kensai7
  • But its a wonderful turnip. - Baldric -MaskedMarauder
  • Like its not bad enough that we get their emails stating they're going to lunch noe and when they get back.... didn't need a culinary lesson today. -d4rkf1re
  • Only way to make this better is if there was a REPLY ALL to this story -ShujinTribble
  • I am the world's largest turnip. -Evilturnip
  • (You will see why this fits here at the end...) Our copier kept making blurry copies so we had the repairman come fix it. He cleaned the glass and it cleared up. However, the problem kept coming back every day. We eventually found out what the problem was when I saw a salesman making copies one morning. He would put his doughnut on the glass and run 50 or so copies so the light bar would warm it up. -maciarc
  • I didn't think it was possible. But my respect for sales just went down some more. -Wolffarmer
  • Yes, but what about the packet loss? -robbor
  • 154. OT/ kinda
    http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/ Great points here
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • The man is scum. Oh wait, he is a lawyer. Kind of repeating myself there. Anywho, like so many people who refuse to accept responsibility, he is shifting it to the video game industry and who better to sue the industry and make bunches of money while cheating the client than this kind of lawyer? -ecoli
  • Funniest thing I've yet seen is the exchange with VGCats. -namor
  • Video Games make great training for future Marines! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • DAMN...apparently this also means that my 6 year old is going to try to jump through time warps and hack villagers in half with a machete a la Crash Bandicoot ? The problem I have with parents is that not only will they not take responsibility for thier kids, but it's 'socially unacceptable' to discipline them as well. Everyone is wondering why kids are ending up killing each other, or on some stupid talk show calling their parents every name in the book. If I had acted like that, I'd have been picking my sorry ass up off of the floor, or repairing the wall where my mother threw me through it. My sons are not perfect, but they are FAR from kid boot camp. It's because we cared enough about them to discipline them once in a while. If they get out of line, I can guarentee thier behavior had nothing to do with video games. -persephone
  • "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." -ShujinTribble
  • Why is it, whenever I read any statements Jack Thompson ever makes, I start hearing Spike Jones music playing? Seriously Jack, we played this same game with heavy metal back in the 1980s, and it had the same effect, i.e.: Wanna boost sales of a mediocre product? Make sure there's a 'Parental Advisory' sticker on the front of the box! (C'mon... Who would've paid any attention to Body Count if not for Ice T's epithet-laden "singing" and the resultant media furor? Musically, Body Count was derivative and stale; they sucked on toast.) -MeanDean
  • 155. Sat night woes
    sooo what does one do on a sat night at a help desk. 2:30-11pm shift?

    IM bored! [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Get naked and play chess? -burrkiss
  • i'm here till 11:30 est- bored off my skull to. Id get some sleep but the damned phone keeps ringing once i gte comfortable. damned users. -Harm
  • OR play naked chess.... -Z0nker
  • 1 person naked chess? isn't that playing with yourself? -Harm
  • GANGBANG the Queen! -Grue
  • may your saturday be better than mine -razmann
  • It wouldnt be so bad if i were taking calls..but Im not even doing that! no calls here... nothing to do...ohh chess -neuman1812
  • OUCH!!! ok, who put the rook there? -burrkiss
  • I'm working also...yay for bringing the next Discworld book with me (Feet of Clay) -Darth
  • i think the queen is doing somthing to the bishop now..or..could be the other way..its a tangle of pawns there -neuman1812
  • burkiss: Better the Rook than the Knight, no? -ShujinTribble
  • Hop on the chat and join me in boredom -TheMage18
  • "Bishop jumps Queen... Knight jumps Queen... Pawns jump Queen!... GANGBANG!!!" <It's GOOD to be da King!> -MadJack
  • 156. Training fun.
    Doing training today there is a term "BOH" this whole time im seeing it, Im reading at BOFH
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Ahh, the joys of training! -nekoro
  • Its ok, I had to reread, then read the entire statement again to make sure it wasn't a misspeiling. -MaskedMarauder
  • Actually wouldn't the correct acronym for "Bastard Operator from Hell" be BOH since prepositions are not normally included in acronyms. -klous
  • B'oh!! </Bort Simpson> -Mushroom
  • 157. Back in the POOL
    you know what this means..
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • . . . add more chlorine???? -ecoli
  • Swimsuits required?.... Male atleast I hope.. Runs for lart shelter -StarFishHearder
  • What is this swimsuit of which you speak? -concept14
  • clothing optiona;l! -Harm
  • Obie's gonna get a drink and join you? -Mushroom
  • I know EXACTLY what you mean.... -vacuumtubes
  • Wearing clothing to go swimming makes as much sense as it does for bathing or sleeping! Or, in other words, "If G-d had MEANT people to go around naked, they would have been BORN that way!" -Captain Trips
  • I peed in the pool. -burrkiss
  • That's what that Purple Stain is spreading round you...<Stuff that makes you go "EEEEEWWWW!!"> -ChildofCthulhu
  • 158. Good day
    Its a good day on friday when they decided to evacuate the entire building at 8:30 am. YAAA
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • If they let you go home, *then* it's a good day -modeski
  • ...if they then PAY you even though they sent you home, it's a *better* day! -Grue
  • And, if due to the alert relating to suspected contamination, they do strip and wash of all the 'hotties', it's a GREAT DAY. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • But if the washing is after you were sent home, so a buddy that wasn't records it all onto a DVD for you it is a Stupendous* Day! * I ran out of good descriptive words. -DragonMageWTF
  • Overly exhuberant. I think thats what you were looking for. -MaskedMarauder
  • damn...I think its a good day when I have less than 10 people ask me for a password reset...I think my standards are too low :( -xtc46
  • Milton set the building on fire? -crazymactech
  • 159. Another good BOFH
    http://www.theregister.com/2005/07/22/bofh_2205_episode_21/
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • "Friends of the Thames" thats priceless -Jax
  • 160. 3 more bombs in london.
    http://www.cnn.com/ Check in guys
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Looks like Warren Street, hackney road, and Shepherds Bush -neuman1812
  • They were minor explosions using detonators only, nobody hurt. Looks like scare tactics or a sick prank http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4703777.stm -Digital Dogcow
  • I'd go with copy cat as al-q tend to do their strikes first thing in the morning. -Armakuni
  • If this was a sick prank, I cant even think of what should be done to these people. -neuman1812
  • wow - it truely seems like either people are absolutly sick or activily TRYIng to bring out their doom. -Harm
  • actually just heard there have been 3-4 more, not confirmed yet thou -Armakuni
  • sounds like amateurs to me -NOFXfan
  • So far noone seems to be hurt. That's the good news. -kman52000
  • Detonators only? Did they forget to put them into the explosive? Did they run out of C4? Or are they trying to make us think they are incompetent? -Divinar
  • More bad news with morning coffee. Glad to see no one was killed. No, these stupid fucking terrorists just don't get it, and they never will. -MadJack
  • ..or, are they trying to draw a crowd of law enforcement and rescue types and launch the real attack? I will take off the tinfoil hat now..... -Flexo
  • yeah, either pranks or dumb idiots. -NightRain
  • Colour me paranoid, but I can;t help thinking that maybe, JUST maybe, this is a way of throwing a feint before a real PUNCH... and Dear Sweet Blessed Mother of the Appocolypse, I hope I'm wrong. -ShujinTribble
  • Shujin, that thought occurred to me as well. I'm hoping that it was just a botched attempt, though. -RiffRaff
  • Being the absolute fanatic I am. This is a tactic from my book. Now I'm not a terrorist, nor would I associate myself with that kind of scum bag. However, this is a copy cat tactic. Meant to bolster people into action. This could be a copy cat group that wants people to be madder at Al-Quida. -MaskedMarauder
  • New entry in terrorist handbook: "Do not juggle Happy Fun Detonators" -Geminii
  • Update: looks like it was a real attempt to duplicate the original attack. They were suicide bombs - they just must have had a wanker for a bomb tech. When the bastards pressed the tit and found themselves still alive they ran like fuck away, leaving shitloads of evidence behind. -Gromit
  • I was watching Stargate Atlantis when the news came on. Damned inconsiderate of those bombers, interrupting TV like that *makes his very first dash for the LART shelter* Oh crap, where is it?!?! -Splunge
  • Glad all our techfriends across the water are ok and safe....and I hope that ShujinTribble is not right....however...this is a standard tactic for guerilla warfare make your enemy think your incompitant then when they let there guard down you strike hard ...this was training I got when I was in the reserve infantry...the dumber you let your enemy think you are the more you can get away with when the timecomes to hit them... sorry to say it ...but look at what happened for the americans in the viet nam war.....the tet offencive was a backbreaker in the conflict.....the major reason for that was that noone was ready for it....there guard was down thinking that they were all safe....I'm just glad that the Brits are as stubborn as they are...*chuckles*... they been blown up by better People for yrs.. -WraithDarkRose
  • the shrub told them to do it so he could keep the paranioa up enough to keep the patriot on the books. er i mean.....*pulls off tinfoil helmet* lets all hope it was just dumbasses and they go to jail so they dont do this anymore. -rhiannon
  • 161. Company policy
    If you admint to me that you are breaking company policy..I wont note it in your account..nope..not me. f#$ker
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Unless you don't cut me in on the deal, then i'll hang you out to dry >:) -Armakuni
  • "Wow, Bob, that's something. ... So what do **I** get out of this?" -Mushroom
  • Selling 40 subscriptions to Vibe? -teivrann
  • Nice Office Space reference. -renaultguy
  • 162. I have a chance
    http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/01/people.elizabeth.ap/ Finially i have a chance..what hun? OUCH sorry! nono i love you the most
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Gonna call her boo boo kitty f**k? -teivrann
  • nope. gunna call her Steph :) -neuman1812
  • YES!!! There is justice in the world... Can I have my shot with her now? -RandalGraves
  • bah I've had better.... who am I kidding no I haven't -NOFXfan
  • *smirks* Have fun, neuman. -taieena
  • I will trow my hat in the ring! HEY! gimmi back my hat! damnit. well- not like i had a chance anyway. -Harm
  • Wimps! I'm gonna steal Katie Holmes from Tom Cruise....now *that's* a romantic thing do to! <laughs maniacally> -CTYankee
  • 163. ahhh
    first day

    new job

    new to phones

    sanity gone [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Have you received the initiation yet? ;-) -TheGhost
  • Ghost - Don't warn him, he might run! -Divinar
  • initation ....im scared. -neuman1812
  • I hate to announce this.....I have just applied to a help desk job....my sanity was lost years ago, so is that a prerequisit for the position?? -Psudo
  • Not a prerequisite, but it does help to not assume that things/people/*fish will follow any sane or recognizable pattern. Except for Rule #1. -ThreeBucks
  • sanity ?? whats that again ? -Deadagent
  • jelousy! grats man. -Harm
  • Sanity, thats what all of us had before we started dealing with SF. -Wolfie0827
  • 164. Karma -thanks/return
    Thanks to Steph/Chris I now have a new job. I would like to take all the unused job karma and return it to the pot. THANK YOU GUYS!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Great to hear, but we want DETAILS! -Gromit
  • You're welcome, neuman, but really, I didn't do anything! But I'm glad :) -taieena
  • Your welcome, err welcome to hell -nepatsfan1
  • Congrats! -Grue
  • Grats! Now, up the details!! -Ulfgaard
  • Congrats for the new work! Details, pls (or even better: good stories). -NordicPT
  • ha delighted man good stuff!!! -starfishmagnet
  • you work for my enemy now don't you? we must engage in mortal combat - or better yet sit round and watch cartoons -marionette
  • Hey 'Nette, where does that leave me since he now indirectly works with me, different dept :P (ok, ok, and no, neither of us works directly for your competitor! Roundabout working for...) -taieena
  • 165. Person #80
    Not Guilty- Do we care?
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • maybe? -Imrcly
  • No, no we don't. I was more worried about where my sister's mice were going to crap next. -smellystudent
  • What Weird Al parody is going to exploit this? -TieDyedDinosaur
  • not so much careing - least the news will have something else to report. -Harm
  • And the coverage of the freeway drive home was just as interesting. I think I'll go count the fish in my fish tank. -SFishWrangler
  • **yawn** Can we all go home now? -chazz
  • do I want to know what is going on? -Chipsterian
  • Check PLEASE! -Bobsentme
  • Sorry - has there been a trial or something? Was it anybody I know? -Gromit
  • *Changes Channel to input* I think I'll watch an SG1 DVD instead. -halfstarfish
  • Half - good idea...hehehehe Monday night Sci-Fi 4 hours of SG -redevil34
  • Reddevil:unfortunately I'm currently sans cable tv due to cash flow issues (not enough to swing it) and a dvd is the best I can do. :( -halfstarfish
  • Tonight on Fear Factor: Best friends must transfer live, blood-sucking leeches mouth-to-mouth while blindfolded. -SFishWrangler
  • I didn't make that up. -SFishWrangler
  • I predict that within a week he'll be in the hospital w/ "stress related ailments", in order to try for sympathy and keep himself in the limelight. -Hellion
  • Like it wasn't expected. BORING! Maybe he should just do something useful, like maybe RETIRE? -MadJack
  • one of the jurors didnt speak english and had to have a translator. sigh... -SGTARKyTEK
  • Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be pop-stars... or get near 'em. -Mushroom
  • -burrkiss
  • mj GOT OFF on all charges -burrkiss
  • Burrkiss, I don't care to know how Michael Jackson got off. -concept14
  • Oops, was I not supposed to mention his name, so we don't draw attention in case he egosurfs? -concept14
  • Actually the juror speaking spanish does speak english, the reporter wanted her to talk in spanish (the reporter was from Telemundo - a spanish language TV network). -technaround
  • 166. Chat Room
    Damn it ! So i go and upgrade the chat room, I THOUGHT all was fine, guess in the new version "Disable Chat room" Is turned on by default. should be ok now. Please let me know if you have any problesm.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • According to the developers its has been optimized for FireFox, but the sound files do require a quicktime plug in. The loading in IE is slow (SO USE FIRFOX :) ) -neuman1812
  • Rock on! That was the only thing I didn't like before, was having to load IE to get in. I'll have to try it out when I get home tonight. Thanks! -missourimule
  • 167. Help Request Kinda Improtant
    I know this should be in the message board, But I need this quickly. Im looking for the SATA drivers for an intel D865DRH mb. I cant seem to locate them on intels site.. any help would be appriciated. Thanks!
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • did you mean the D865GRH > http://www.intel.com/design/motherbd/rh/rh_drive.htm , make sure in bios sata is not set to raid mode -Deadagent
  • ya that..friggin handwriting...cant even read my own -neuman1812
  • I could be blind here but Im not seeing the Raid drivers? I need somthing that I can put on a floppy so I can see the HD (pre-windows) -neuman1812
  • you mean there was something before windows?!? [/sarcasm] -omegawolf
  • Neumann, I think you need to pull the INF drivers and then run the executable. That should give you two floppies, one of which will have the boot drivers for the RAID stuff. I don't have that board, so I can't be positive... but that's, I think, how it's done. -chazz
  • Why did "improtant" make me think it was do to with pron? -smellystudent
  • 168. OT-kinda
    Im currently doing a contract job cutting metal. Next week Ive been assigned to cut some metal over 1000pcs. I need to take a square piece about 2ft/2ft and make it round. I will be using a plasma torch. Ive never been trained on a plasma torch. I told them this. Their response Your smart you figure it out.

    Ohhh i get to have some fun [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Find the bloddy manual for that thing, you dont wana burn off 1/2 your face. -Deadagent
  • I read that you will be cutting metal over 1000 PCs, which seems like a bad idea. -Evilturnip
  • (1) point plasma torch at *fish. (2) switch on. (3) giggle or cackle insanely, according to preference. -smellystudent
  • You need a turntable! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I agree with smellystudent. This is a perfect LARTing tool. Bet you could turn it into a wicked barbecue, too. -teivrann
  • I used to fix plasma cutters. Be very carefull as they can cut your finger off and it won't even bleed. The jet is 10,000 degrees F. To cut that many pieces have a lot of spare torch parts as the electrodes and nozzels don't last long. -atomicbill
  • the comsumables on a plasma torch have gotten better. most can touch the workpiece without damage. just make sure you have shade 3 or 5 glasses on and make sure your workpiece is grounded and you have a clean air supply. -areatech
  • It's amazing what a polite word to a union rep and OHSA can do. Even more fun when they appear for a "surprise" inspection. -Wraith556
  • I agree -- contact OSHA asap! Playing on a plasma torch without training can result in your own, personal, mini-Chernobyl! (Okay, so it would only kill YOU, not the entire city.) Don't play around! -Captain Trips
  • 169. Most Anoying thing ever
    Needs sound / Media player /6mg download

    www.usa-clan.com/music/anoying.wmv

    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Or, clickable: http://www.usa-clan.com/music/anoying.wmv That was great! Thanks. -FuzzyElf
  • Most Anoying thing ever = Someone saying "Question for ya" -Deadagent
  • most annoying sound ever, "i aint an expert at computers" (after instructing the sf to click start, then click run) -broken
  • No fair! This isn't the anatomically correct version! <BFEG> -CTYankee
  • 6 milligram download? -Captain Trips
  • 170. Link -Didnt want to bump nasa
    http://tinyurl.com/exc3b

    Ok..admit it. some of you have said at least a 1/3 of these [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Yup. Said several of them today in fact. In one sitting. -ThreeBucks
  • 19 of these over the past three days. At least three or four more last week. -TechieSidhe
  • Only 5. Guess I'm a noob...<grin> -CTYankee
  • arg- damned firewall. -Harm
  • 13. I use number 79 ALOT. -Mathias
  • At least half. Every week. More during a full moon. Sigh. -SwedishChef
  • Say, what does 'Superblock Error' mean anyhow? there's one right there -razmann
  • Add a new one to the list: "Microsoft Windows isn't the most stable animal known to man". -ShujinTribble
  • 171. OT
    for thoes of you who dont visit the message board. Paste this in your media player (SFW) live video

    http://68.116.193.24:8080/


    What to do when your bored
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • I'm getting a 400 error on that. -Grue
  • Page cannot be found error. This link work for anyone else? -Bobsentme
  • You can't just click on the link! Paste it into Windows Media Player and it'll work :-) -smellystudent
  • i got it, but i have no idea what im lookin at -slowANDeasy
  • is this your apt, neuman? did some detective work, and thats the best guess i can come up with. -slowANDeasy
  • WMP 10 shows me a black screen and an occasional click while it tries to buffer. I cannot download it directly. Maybe I'll try again when you're not bandwidth saturated... -chazz
  • its my housethe front "lobby" between the den and the firplace room.Later tonight you can watch the fire.. -neuman1812
  • Ok, everytime I try, I get "URL cannot be reached, try again later." How am I supposed to slack at work when everyone else is hogging the site? :P -Bobsentme
  • that happens when I shut the computer off...as of 4:15est its up and running -neuman1812
  • Hey, cool. What program are you using? And flip off the cam when you get chance, k, thanks, that would be geeeat... -Holstein
  • 4:45 gave holstein the finger /check -neuman1812
  • Crap, I missed it. Damn newegg! Damn you! -Holstein
  • ahhhh slackin at homer wathcing someone leses... cheers! -Harm
  • Ok, What am I doin wrong?? I can't get it :( -ITNaziChick
  • Ok Media Player File menu Open URL ..paste link.. -neuman1812
  • looks like my viewers are all from canada...damn strange canadians -neuman1812
  • looks like my viewers are all from canada...damn strange canadians -neuman1812
  • I did that in real player and I get the dreaded "page cannot be found" error -ITNaziChick
  • try using media player -neuman1812
  • hey! It moved! -Harm
  • the camera or the cat? :) -neuman1812
  • newman you might have to set up your own call center to support your webcam..... -wazntme
  • 172. (OT) I got it!
    I got the new job! Double what Im making now, and only extra 5min drive in the morning. I told the temp agency when they picked me after my interview that Im nowhere qualified for this job, but they said it was my personality that got it for me. They didnt even expect me to get it. i didnt lie about anything, i told the interviewer that i had never done anyof this before but i still got it! ya me

    Im shoveling the extra job-karma back into the pile for anyone that needs it. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • And I'll bet you do the job better than someone who is 'paper certed' to match the position. In a couple of months you'll be able to WRITE the test to cert someone for the position! -TieDyedDinosaur
  • Great stuff! Now buy that ticket to the UK and buy us some beers you lazy sod :) -smellystudent
  • Congratulations, dude! -Grue
  • Companies often like to train good employees than get a pre-trained, sub-par employee. Particularly true if the position is very specialized (like mine). Congrats on the job, hope it goes as well as it sounds like it can. -Kensai7
  • come on, you can't be that bad in bed can you? j/k Good Job on the...Well "job" -drachen
  • Congratulations and all the best of luck! -halfstarfish
  • Congrats on the new job neuman! -JustAGirl
  • Congrats on the new job! -Starfury
  • Congrats! -Psudo
  • Congratulations! -NordicPT
  • Nice job, neumann! -taieena
  • 173. OT-Job Interview
    I have a job interview. Its non-tech-sorta. Its not in computers, but its mechanical, which i have a background in. Its twice what Im making now. (contract work) and its only about 5min more drive everymorning. Side note:Taco hell sucks!
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • KarmaKannon locked and loaded. Good luck! -Frazzled
  • Taco Bell - Fastest laxative around. o_O -Torinir
  • Keg-O-karma rolling through the Transdimensional Warp Gate to your location! Look Out! (and Good Luck!) -ecoli
  • LOTs of luck, neuman! I'm sending more and more happy thoughts on the backs of the winds up to ya... -taieena
  • So - how many times have you had to discuss the "dollar and my taco" thing? Good luck, dude! -Grue
  • did you sell any tuna taco's?? *snicker* -putahtek
  • Good luck, neumann! -sassicatz
  • Good luck on the job neuman! -JustAGirl
  • 174. BOFH notes
    After re-reading the BOFH archives for ...Informational and constructive learning purposes, I stumbled upon this note of wisdom.

    http://bofh.ntk.net/RealOther/Bus.html

    I must say Its profound, to the point, and dam well scary that it works.
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    175. Link
    Its about time! http://www.theregister.com/2005/04/08/spammer_faces_slammer/ Love the last line in the story.
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Someone call Swedish Chef to cater the gala champagne fest! This is terrific! -halfstarfish
  • Funny, very funny. But that last line is just wrong... *snaps back into MM mode* He might want to advertise "Sleep easy/date rape" drugs for when his newly-enlarged pimp comes looking for a piece of that pie. -murdermachine
  • Here's the cartoon to back it up: http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050410 -Grue
  • That comic is just too funny. -unrunt
  • poetic justice.... -Ulfgaard
  • 176. a;lksaf
    IF I ASK YOU A FUICKING QUESTION I EXPECT AN ANSER..I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU DONT KNOW THE CORRECT ANSWER OR NOT. JUST AGKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HEAR ME! GIVE ME SOMTHING AAAARRRRRRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • :::::THHWWAAPPPP:::::: -THETECHFROMHELL
  • You've been talking to my kids? Nevermind. I guess that's a common trait for 4-year-olds. -scooby111
  • I just keep repeating the question until I receive acknowledgement. I think the record six times before the idiot figured out that I wasn't going to stop until they responded. -angrymacface
  • No feedback makes me think they hung up so I do. -atomicbill
  • ......................................sorry, Neuman - did you say something? (I'm not hard of hearing, I was just ignoring you) -Gromit
  • I hate that. ME: What operating system are you running. SF: You know this never happened before, it was working yesterday and this guy i know said it was like my aol or something. ME: What operating system are you running? SF: So can you fix this or not? ME: *headdesk* -modeski
  • Mac: yup. I get paid the same for the day whether I answer one call or thirty. I've also found that saying "Sorry, what was... [the same thing you just asked]?" tends to bring them back on track. -Geminii
  • I also just repeat the question until I'm given a pertinent answer. It makes no sense to follow their distraction trail, as it won't help the issue! -VictorWongID10T
  • I forgot I was still logged in as this user. Fortunately, I haven't given myself away. -VictorWongID10T
  • Victor: You are LinuxMachine and I claim my $5! -halfstarfish
  • Damn, I'm a starfish, I meant LinuxXtreme! -halfstarfish
  • Not me! (I've got pseudonym's but none that make fun of VW...) -LinuXtreme
  • *Sigh* It's not my day...I'm in the LART shelter if anyone needs me. -halfstarfish
  • 177. its 3am do you know were you brain is?
    http://grant.robinson.name/projects/montage%2Da%2Dgoogle/
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Yes; it's awake, which in the universe of a just and loving god would not occur as often as it does. With that being said, I tried to make a montage of "zombie goat bukkake." Apparently that was too obscure for that site. <shrugs> Oh, well. Next insomniac! -RiffRaff
  • hmm.. flaming trol was interesting at 4:30 am. -Harm
  • I tried PORN and got 2 frogs humping, not bad. -RA
  • Do 'techcomedy'. That gives a pretty good one. I tried 'RCMP'; gonna send that screenshot to a friend of mine who has a number friends among them. -teivrann
  • type in starfish -LiQUidICicle
  • 178. 110v vs. 220v
    A friend of mine who loves Tim Allen Decided one day this week to see if hooking up a computer to a 220v line will make it go faster. "MORE POWER FASTER! arr arr arr(cave man grunt)"

    I Was gunna tell him..but it was an old pc, and besides i wanted to know what would happen. it was a pretty sight [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • >*** BANG ***< -Wonko The Sane
  • Plugging a 110v laser printer into a (unmarked) 220v outlet certainly lets the magic smoke and the magic sparks out. -LaserGuru
  • "Yeah, put it on a 220, 221, whatever it takes." </Mr. Mom> -QuinTech
  • "Hey y'all, watch this" -VIPERsssss
  • "Plays TAPS for the now fried comp." -RandalGraves
  • Yes, it will go into the garbage faster. Guaranteedy. -TieDyedDinosaur
  • I was just getting involved in the industry back in '78 when the first Televideo computers were imported to UK from the US. I watched as a tech unpacked one, set it up and switched on. <BOOM!!!> You've guessed it, 240v up it's 110v arse. The entire batch was sent back. -Gromit
  • The Mythbusters episode investigating exploding CDs was on the other night. I couldn't help but notice how uptight Jamie was at how long Adam left the 110V router hooked up to 240V. :) -Jay911
  • Jay911, there was a flaw in the Mythbusters' methodology. At 16x, the drives change from CLV (Constant Linear Velocity) to CAV (Constant Angular Velocity). Basically it means that the disk is spinning at 16x but the heads are moved out faster to increase the transfer rate. Max speed (48x - 52x) is only ever used in the outer third of the CD. -Wraith556
  • ****MAGIC SMOKE*** -CTYankee
  • 179. when it rai...err snows
    ya its snowing here stilll on the second day of spring. Anyway, about 3 months ago I went for an interview regarding a position in IT. (assistant IT) managing about 25 stores. Since it has been a while I wrote that job off as a loss.

    Today i get a call that they want a second interview...the same day i have the interview with the local cable company. One interview is at 10am the other at 4p they are both about 1hr away from me, in obbsite directions. Luckly they are both off major higways, so i think i will be OK. if anyone has some spare driving and job interview karma I could use it! ahhh! [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • *sets Karma nuke to blow at 8am on the day in question* That should do nicely. -virusjtg
  • antipodean karma - especially good over distance events! -timelady
  • You can do it! Karma on the way... -DazZler
  • Since one of the appointments is with a cable outfit, I have no doubt you'll be able to "Git-R-Done!" Good luck, dude! -Grue
  • <shakes the magic 8 Ball> Nope! sorry, you're fucked! <j/k> -Digital Dogcow
  • Empties the pressurized karma can on ya... I have a bunch left over from my job hunt. -putahtek
  • <gloat mode> It is sunny and it will be about 80 here </gloat mode> Yea I am an ass... -rockytech
  • <TechOgre starts shovelling karma as fast as he can> Good Luck!! -TechOgre
  • 180. Sllep
    slppe seppl sleep? ya somthing like that its 3am do you know where your brain is?

    On a plus side i have an interview next week to join a help desk with the local cable company. Its soulds like dog..but spelled c.h.a.r.t.e.r. ya..that works.

    i just realized im applying to a type of job that many of you are trying to get out of. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Or trying to get back into, suchaz me. Best of luck! -Mushroom
  • Internal techs or suctomers? If internal, train the tech to realize that if a customer's laptop isn't getting an IP from the modem, but it does when connected to the router, and said customer suggests that the 3-way splitter might be faulty, believe him (actually, that was my wife that brought it up, and later temporarily fixed it by replacing it with a 2-way after the tech left). -Jeckler
  • Sleipnir? -LaserGuru
  • neuman - support for internet or video? -FrontSideBus
  • LG- quit horsin' around =P -Shazzai
  • 181. ZGBP search
    Ok after a google for it http://tinyurl.com/52dw7 not only are we number 1! but! there are NO OTHER PAGES except for a blog that shows up ZGBP is ours.
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • and that blog is CD's :D who owns the copyright for it, BTW :D -slowANDeasy
  • you know, if you enclose them in quotation marks, Google will search for whole phrases, not just the individual words in the whole page? TSC is the ONLY hit on the phrase "Zombie Goat Bukkake"! http://tinyurl.com/4ggk3 -LoTech
  • I was worried that I'd have to change "tastes" but "mutant goat bukkake pr0n" matched 1st also -satanstech
  • We also dominate the results for "I wanna new mouse." -concept14
  • 182. Brain bleach
    just did a google for brain bleach http://tinyurl.com/6aehs TSC is number 2! lets see it make 1
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • brain bleach -burrkiss
  • brain bleach -burrkiss
  • brain bleach -burrkiss
  • brain bleach -burrkiss
  • brain bleach... -burrkiss
  • brain bleach... -burrkiss
  • was that what you had in MIND? -burrkiss
  • not quite..its still number 2 :) -neuman1812
  • Who are you? The new number 2. Who is number 1? You are number 6. </The Prisoner> -Starfury
  • On a related note, a google search for "sucktomer" only produces 2 results, and TSC is the 2nd result! :) -rokitt
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Pass the brain bleach -Armakuni
  • Is that helping? Where is Digital Floodcow when you need him :) -Armakuni
  • Hmm .. saw this under the search and thought of the starfish : http://www.michigan.gov/mda/0,1607,7-125-1566_2310_13284-65647--,00.html -Necros
  • ACK! Necros' link has started me in an endless loop: View site ... apply brain bleach ... google 'brain bleach' ... view site ... -QuinTech
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • brain bleach -ecoli
  • Armakuni - if I could pass brain bleach I'd make a fucking fortune! -Gromit
  • Yo, Necros: That is the SAME one I saw in the images, I thought it was a very interesting page. Oh, and pardon me: Would you happen to have any brain bleach poupon? =P -CoolDragon
  • Oh, please, that's nothing. I saw that kind of stuff all the time at my first real tech job. I also saw live surgeries. However, there was one time when something truely disturbed me. My company got a NIH grant to study acute cocaine toxicity in dogs. We used beagles because they are about the friendliest dogs around. In addition, ours were the friendliest beagles in the industry due to our socialization program. Anyway, the dog would be hooked up to an intra-venious device that would slowly administer a constant amount of cocaine solution to the dog. At first, the dog was happy. However, when the overdose part came, the dog was terrified. The only way I could describe the dogs eyes would be "portals to hell". Noone who worked on the study would even consider using cocaine. I personally believe they should have video taped the studies and distributed copies to middle and high schools for their drug education classes. It would put the cocaine industry in the US out of business. In case you are wondering, there was other good stuff to come out of the study. They found that the traditional therapy for cocaine overdose, which was very ineffective to begin with, was acutally missing the point. It used to be that when a cocaine overdose patient would come in, they would treat the heart problems that came with the overdose. However, the study found that the heart problems were caused by a massive fever. The fever was so bad that ice packs wouldn't cool the patient fast enough. In the study, they put the dogs in a sink and constantly bathed them until they were ok. In real life, what would probably be done is the patient would be rushed to the morgue, where they have the high volume water hoses. If the treatment worked, good. If not, the patient would be were he would end up anyway. -mdver
  • I WANT A NEEEWWW MMOOOOUU-- oh wait, sorry, wrong one. Pass the brain bleach, please. *runs to LART shelter* -Mewtwo
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • Sorry neuman' but YOU DID ASK! -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • Are we there yet? -Digital Dogcow
  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
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  • brain bleach -Digital Dogcow
  • Doesn't saying something repeatedly (In this case, brain bleach) get ignored by Google? I may be wrong, but that's probably the case, I've also heard it could lower a site's position on a search engine. -Firesky
  • LoL brain bleach. :D -modeski
  • 183. OT Translation Help
    Ive have been tasked by my manger to ask our floor cleaner to come into work tomarrow. Like all good floor clearers, this guy is from Brazil and speaks two words of english (Hi,Bye). Can someone help with a translation of (Can you please work tomarrow?) or somthing on thoes lines? I dont know the language of Brazil, so any help would be great. Thanks.
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Language of Brazil is Portuguese. Bablefish can help you out there. http://babelfish.altavista.com/translate.dyn -Armakuni
  • how would you know if he said. sure asshat pay me 100 extra centavos. or i just shaved with a catfish and my peanut butter is lumpy. oh well. -SGTARKyTEK
  • Been out in the sun too long, Sgt? -namor
  • You can try spanish. Port and Span are very similar. they are ALMOST the diff dialects of the same language. If bablefish donesn't work, he may understand. -Chronotis
  • use a calander. KISS Keep It Simple Senior. -burrkiss
  • Chronotis: Fraid not, spanish and port are two very different languages, bit like german and english. I have it on good authority from a co-worker who speaks spanish, i also watched the mess when he tried it earlier with a port company. -Armakuni
  • Brazil? Around here it seems all night janitorial staff are Chinese. And always a husband/wife team. Nothing against the Chinese, just a curiosity thing. -missourimule
  • not as simple as as pointing to a calender..I just called his boss. so much easier. -neuman1812
  • 184. I like big buts
    And I cannot lie I love formatting, Hey has the lart shelter door been widened yet for big buts?
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Forget widening the door, install a transporter. -teivrann
  • Hey .... Nice Ass -Dangermouse
  • if you were 24, a girl, and lived in central ma, id ask for you number..but since your profile says brad..you can forget about it! unless your 24 a male and in central ma and you swing that way, then we could talk. -neuman1812
  • Oi! fat arse!, get out the way, trying to get past here. :0) -Digital Dogcow
  • Nice big butted star there fella. -Rabbitt
  • the door is mearly a transdimentional gate. EVERYONE wiggle them butts! < starts to wiggle size increased buttocks> -Harm
  • Galactic sized booty, there bud. -K1W1
  • 185. Google does it again
    http://maps.google.com/ So far it pretty good. I did a lookup of some address and it was good
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Better directions around my city than mapquest, and nicer interface. I like it. Was front on slashdot last week. -namor
  • Just like an American site - forgets anywhere else in the world exists... - Can't find UK, Canada, Europe.... -Wonko The Sane
  • There are places outside the US? <ponders this> -burrkiss
  • I've heard that, but why go there when you can just ship everything good from there to here without ever getting off the couch? -Shazzai
  • Im in Canada, and i can see pretty exactly where my house is....consideding i live in Windsor, 10 min. from the border with the US. -RandalGraves
  • Searching for directions from current address to the one I may be moving to, it showed a way I was not aware of. Searching from home to my parents, it showed the long way. I do, however, like the interface. -Zayda
  • Ím very impressed with it; however it'd be nice if it showed my country. I have no intention of going to the USA till you lot appoint someone more intelligent than his chair to be president! <legs it> -trs998
  • If you type in a canadian address it shows it, pretty cool -frprinterwiz
  • I rather like it, trs998 - not being on a Google map is rather exclusive, a bit like being ex-directory. Basically it means you can't be found by resurgent colonials coming over here to look up their roots, or whatever they do. -Gromit
  • when I tried it last week, it couldn't find my city, so it's not complete for the US yet. -PolarCoyote
  • Forget about anywhere else in the world west of Hawaii. -Wraith556
  • I AM impressed! It ACTUALLY found Bruce Mines, ON where my family is from...and that town is smaller than the text box I'm typing in... -DarkTanz
  • http://tinyurl.com/49cqq -EagleEye
  • Yeah, that's where I live... :) -EagleEye
  • Ok, I'm impressed now. It found my way out of town, country home. Even showed the dirt road I live off of -MightyMouse
  • Very Cool! It does Canada too!! -TechOgre
  • Holy Hanna!!! It even gets my street address correct!! I've never seen ANY on-line mapping system to EVER get it correct! -TechOgre
  • I don't know...I couldn't find some of the streets at the college I attended. -kman52000
  • Looking at where I am in Canada, I see my house is in the middle of wilderness, and not on a street. The section for my area is about 15-20 years out of date. I am comparing this to the Rand-McNally atlas which is 5-10 years out of date. -Chipsterian
  • Pretty impressive -- gets the street address right, though unlike EagleEyes it does put my house bang in the middle of the street. Our house, it was where we used to sleep. </Madness> -chazz
  • I put in the directions to the new work site and it found it fine, but it sent me on the worst path. Logically it's right, but San Antonio is under perpetual construction, and the 19 mile, 23 minute path it showed would really take you about an hour and a half, with about 30 minutes of it driving at 2 miles an hour past the airport. -Docster
  • 186. Cats
    In keeping with the recent cat theme http://www.mycathatesyou.com/cats/alpha/c/401 *someday my money will come for my star...Im saving up now
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • http://www.mycathatesyou.com/cats/alpha/c/437 " Ya i know I got waaaay to much time on my hands -neuman1812
  • Al that pussy, and I'm sitting here alone watching TV. -LaserGuru
  • 187. Yeti-topia
    http://www.yetisports.org/
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    188. Norton on TV
    Im watching a show Law and Order(SVU) and in a scene where the cops are walking around the station, an image on one of the computer monitors is displaying a Red box in the middle of screen. it took only 3 sec..but you could clearly tell it was a Norton Virus alert message...too funny
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Ooooh this is Unix, I know this (types "open the doors") -Gerund
  • I was at a FundRaiser last night. Had a laptop w/ projector showing background slides before the actual presentation. Norton Antivirus pops up. -satanstech
  • My accountant was at church, they're using Powerpoint (engfeh!) to show the words for the hymns, and the Windows "Updates are ready" box pops up... -chazz
  • I saw a movie the other day where someone was sending e-mail messages, and the replies were coming back instantaneously! -robbor
  • 189. Sad Day
    My mouse, My logitech Trackball Marble Mouse USB PN#8047347-0000 has died. It was a good mouse. His many acomplisments included, Reading the entire BOFH archives, Clicking the daily refresh on TSC, and Continous high scores on Ghost recon and Medal of honor. We shall miss you. <sniffle> Maby just maby I can find a replacement trackball..who knows. <sniffle>
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Not even gonna bother...... -Jeckler
  • <cries out "I WANNTTTTT A NEWWWWWW MOUSEEEEEEEEEEE" as he dives through the LART shelter door> -xtc46
  • I had one of those, gave it to my wife when I switched to a Microsoft Trackball Optical 1.0 - she loved it. Then, my four-year-old (who was three at the time) got hold of it and lost a piece permanently. It's been sitting on a shelf ever since. Any chance of getting you to drop yours in the mail? Huh? Huh? -Grue
  • After an autopsy at the local clear space of desk it was determined that after a routine cleaing "someone" over tightned a screw and broke the board..An obvious case of murder. There will be and investigation.http://webpages.charter.net/neuman1812/ -neuman1812
  • Take a look at the Pictures grue. I believe this mouse signed up for the "parts dontation" program. if you see somthing you can use let me know. -neuman1812
  • This is the mouse that I have. It comes in both Blue and Red. I have the blue mouse. Check it out right here http://www.geizhals.at/deutschland/a84329.html -UnderLord
  • I want a blue moose!!! Oh, mouse. Nevermind. -Bobsentme
  • Trackballs are love 'em or hate 'em. I'm of the former opinion - so much so that I use one of these http://tinyurl.com/62upm I like them so much that I bought 2 brand new as spares - I still have them, 'cos the 1st one is still in use (I'm posting this with it. I've even managed to scrounge a corded microshaft trackball for my work PC. Let's just say is 'dissuades' people from using my PC. -lineswine
  • I do hope it was given a proper burial, and then the scoundrel responsible for its death was given over to a mob who could act as reprehensibly on the perpetrator as this scum acted on the poor dear mouse. (I almost wrote "poor dear mousie", that's not right...she's not broken!) -snowcrash
  • And me, I use this: http://www.kensington.com/html/1175.html because too much mousing around gave me unilateral bursitis. I have two of them... one at work, one at home. -chazz
  • 190. OT-RANT
    we realy should have a rant section..how about it hawk? On to the Rant. Ive had it with my current job. (retail-recieving) my managers are lazy, farking lazy..why do somthing when you can tell somone else to do it. the money sucks, the people here work in cliques (i dont fit in any) there is NO hope of ever moving up. Im out. I just spend the last 2 hours spplying to every computer related job i could find every major job site now has my resume. I think i just send out about 150 resumes to different companies. ..Im done..Im outa retail now!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Get ready for some sales/MLM jobs coming your way. No matter what you put as your field - you will get some shit replys. -jard
  • I do one of your "job applying" binges every week, so far I've still only been offered sales jobs and other helpdesk jobs that pay less. No one even checks out my work (i'll apply, create an ssh/vnc account for my linux and windows boxes and ask people to take a look at my work, and no one bothers logging in and looking around, I either get nothing, or get an email saying I am not at the appropriate career level (read: I have not taken my MCSE and thus I know crap). -snJimboip
  • Mailing out resumes is an almost pointless task. Social networking usually works best. Let you friends, relatives, associates know that you are looking. Nine times out of ten they will hear about a job that is not advertised. Good Luck. Pushing some Kegs-O-Karma™ through the Transdimensional Warp Gate™ to your location. should arrive yesterday. -ecoli
  • I can deal with sales..Hell ill even take a sales job at beststeal if it means im out of this job -neuman1812
  • Isn't that what the "My Job Sucks" category is for? (Although I've never actually *been* in there...) Seems to me that rants and "My job sucks" falls under the same heading... -LinuXtreme
  • 191. yet another anoying song
    http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=214546
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Annoying, yes, and it's not even very funny. Wonder why they felt compelled to produce it? -temp
  • Yeah, it's no bananaphone. -teivrann
  • *GOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG* -leonine
  • 192. Sleeping
    And more information on this whole "sleeping" thing http://tinyurl.com/6mg3a why, because its 4am and im awake
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • sleep my friend, sleep..... -VictorWong
  • I woke at 1:13am and could not get back to sleep. This is going to be a long day :( -THETECHFROMHELL
  • I was awake a good deal of the last three night swith this horrible cough, left over from a cold a month ago. AARRGGHH! I so need sleep to keep from getting bronchitis. -sassicatz
  • Methought I heard a voice cry, “Sleep no more! Macbeth does murder sleep!” the innocent sleep, Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of care, The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath, Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course, Chief nourisher in life’s feast. (Macbeth Act 2.Sc 2. L. 36) -Digital Dogcow
  • Sleep shall neither night nor day Hang upon his pent-house (he said Penthouse huh huh hu uh huh) lid. He shall live a man forbid. Weary se'nnights nine times nine Shall he dwindle, peak, and pine: Though his bark cannot be lost, Yet it shall be tempest-tost. (Macbeth Act 1.Sc 3.L.19) -Digital Dogcow
  • Shake off this downy sleep, death's counterfeit, And look on death itself! up, up, and see The great doom's image! (Macbeth (again)2.3.83) -Digital Dogcow
  • A heavy summons lies like lead upon me, And yet I would not sleep. (Macberth 2.1.6)... anyone getting the idea here ol Willy S was a bit of an insomniac ??? -Digital Dogcow
  • "To sleep, perchance to dream" </Hamlet> - yeah, I get the picture... -Gromit
  • Thanks to that link the other day http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=42260 I was up until 5:30am and only got 5 hours sleep. But that's fine, there is time for sleeping when you're dead (not sure whos quote that is) -FrontSideBus
  • Bon Jovi's of course! -Mathias
  • 193. little late
    I know its a little late....but I found this and wanted everyone to know this is how I think..regardless of the story in the message board http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/208058
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • LOL -spectreoflife
  • the lord and master....foamy! -RandalGraves
  • I spent the weekend viewing all of these that i could. My new hero: Foamy! -Psudo
  • 194. gone all gone...
    My gf just left for England for 5 months on an exchange program... Im now all alone..what to do..what to do..what to d....ohhh ghost recon hmm first person shooter...
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Get a boyfriend. The quick snack that's built for two! -namor
  • ... yeah, I don't know what I'm on, either. -namor
  • if it wasnt for the 4 years I have already dedicated to her, after telling her Im BI..I might conisder it..NOT -neuman1812
  • namor, that was the best laugh I've had in weeks. Going to have to share that with the guy I'm dating. -mrfantastic
  • Ooh, where in England is she? /puts on his corrupting hat/ -smellystudent
  • Smelly - I hope it is 'somewhere in the North' & NOT the midlands <BFEG> -lineswine
  • Oy, Smelly & Lineswine - not so fast. If she's South of Potters Bar she's mine, all mine!!!! <pant, dribble> -Gromit
  • "Bring back ... That lovin' feeling! Whoa, that lovin' feeling" </Rightious Brothers> -Necros
  • No gf? Get cable internet and a 10 lb bottle of KY. Wack like a crazed monkey. -burrkiss
  • If she's pompey or soton then all mine... mine :-) Actually, though why don't ya take sometime off work and fly over for a visit as a surprise? -fearmyroot
  • shes north of london..Town called "Eden" I think..Royal Halloway acadamy..college..whatever.. she's a starfish..and she's MINE! -neuman1812
  • 195. another one bites the dust
    did I see right? mousie engaged? another geekgirl off the market.. damn we're running low here! Congrats mousie!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I'm yin/yang on this. I'm happy mousie is in love/getting married. I'm sad it not with me. -burrkiss
  • burrkiss, aren't you already married? -snowcrash
  • on a brighter note..I hear morgan webb is single -neuman1812
  • Morgan webb isnt that hot. I want the old Fresh Gear Chick. Sumi Das. Now SHE was FINE! -YellowDart
  • 196. retail fun
    Setting: Retail store ( any will do) Time : 5am Actors: 3 Managers, 1 District manager, 1 outsourced auditor, 1 Internal company auditor, 2 regular floor people, 35 outsourced inventory people, 3 internal inventory people, 1 recieving manager(me) Stress level : Beyond measue..(I hate this job)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Retail. It sucks. Syphilitic donkeys. -hkypipe
  • I did that outsourced inventory bit about 10 years ago....what service do you use? -leonine
  • forgot the name...sorry I get it tomarrow -neuman1812
  • In New England It's usually REGIS -tech2of2
  • I did the inventory gig for a while... Western Inventory Services. <shudder> -soccerdude
  • One word 100% certain to result in stress = audit. Nothing is EVER where it is supposed to be, or in the right amount. -CommanderData
  • Thanks tech2of2 thats the name.. -neuman1812
  • The two big names in retail inventory are RGIS and W.I.S. (Washington Inventory Service, my alma mater. Never heard of "Western I.S.") There are two big differences between them. Yes, WIS charges more, but you get what you pay for. RGIS (especially true in "financial" inventories) will come up with a number, and then sell that number to store management as if it were accurate. WIS will come up with an ACCURATE number, and let it sell itself. (WIS will also audit the heck out of things until store management is satisfied.) I know this because we got some people who used to work for RGIS and let us know that company secret. I also ran an inventory at a store where they had RGIS the year before. The manager told me that they skipped one rack of lay-aways, and she discovered this as they were packing to leave. She told them, they said, "Sorry, we're out of here." I told her, "Don't worry, I won't leave until YOU are COMPLETELY satisfied." Should have seen the (nice) look on her face at that comment. She was cute to begin with, and we flirted through the whole inventory. I should have gotten her home number, but, well.... -Captain Trips
  • BTW, based on my experiences, I hope your "REGIS" isn't "RGIS." If so, I strongly suggest you double check the numbers!!!! And next time, pay a bit more for WIS! -Captain Trips
  • 197. Smokers only
    Burrkiss comment made me want to start a poll. If you smoke what do you smoke (mary jane not included) ME: Cloves/Djarium specials(black)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • DuMaurier lite king, , down from JPS ( john players special) AKA black pack of death. -Harm
  • Nonsmoking here -- mildly allergic to tobacco smoke. -chazz
  • Marlboro lights or Ashtons (cigar)<me much likey the ashtons but at $8-12 a pop...> -TeamWolfguard
  • Djarium specials. Not the blacks, the browns. -burrkiss
  • Djarium specials. Not the blacks, the browns. -burrkiss
  • I guess I smoke two @ a time. -burrkiss
  • Export A regular " the green death" -scary
  • ...and I emerge from long months of inactivity to say, "Currently, Drum Halfzware Shag roll-ups, but mainly Peter Jackson king-size." -soccerdude
  • Look Silver Menthol cigarettes and Riitmester Sweets cigarillos. -NordicPT
  • I used to smoke cutters choice roll-ups. -CommanderData
  • Damn, all of these exotics. All I smoke is a pipe with a special cavendish mixture (blended just for me!) -ecoli
  • I allow myself 2 a year for not smoking the rest of the year. Though come to think of it, since I met Riff 2 years ago, I ain't even had that. Love cloves though, but usually all I can get my hands on is Marlboro. -Magenta
  • I STILL smoke Cutters Choice roll-ups. -fearmyroot
  • When I was married, I would join my wife in smoking a Djarum Special (red? black? not sure) about 4 or 5 times a year. Since the divorce (6 moths and counting), nada. -LoTech
  • I'm with Chazz, allergic to smoke. -Starfury
  • Kool Milds or Salem Ultra Lights. Used to smoke Djariums back in the 80's but it got kinda expensive. (like paying $3.50 per pack ISN'T expensive enough!) -rokitt
  • when I can afford the nine bucks for a pack Player's Light Regular, otherwise it's Blue #7's or if I'm scraping pennies it's Smoking for 5 bucks a pack but normally I roll my own smokes with tobacco from the reserve so it works out to about 3 bucks a pack that way. -frprinterwiz
  • I haven't smoked since I caught on fire in 1992. Handy hint: never be in the blast zone of an anti-aircraft rocket launcher. -LaserGuru
  • Used to Smoke! Camel Lights -Hawk
  • "Cowboy Killer" Marlboro 100 Red in the Flip Top Box. As for Chazz and Starfury (Who can't read the SMOKER'S ONLY headder ... I casually slap a "I'm a StarFish" sticker on their backs and unleash LARTicus. Copies of the video will be available with a portion of the proceeds going to Chazz and Starfury's families ... Post-mortum. -Necros
  • I'm in the same category as Chazz and Starfury. The smoke brings on an asthma attack. One of the very few things that will. -Wraith556
  • Non smoker here. I am a pink lunged sissy and proud of it! -rockytech
  • Non smoker, I deal with smoke but not too fond of it. -Taterlain
  • phillip morris menthol 100's. comes down to $0.50 a pack locally :) sweet.... -slowANDeasy
  • I smoke generic ultra-light 100s - BUT it has to be the specific generic ones in the white pack with a blue circle from the base commisary! Those other generics are gross! <G> -BritishBunny
  • im a cheap bastard, and dont like givin smokes out so i smoke menthols (no one seems to wanna bum a menthol off ya).No brand loyalty, whatever is on sale -ViciousPenguin
  • Under the collar when I'm stuck with a really stupid starfish. -ralphp1024
  • i'm sorta an ex-smoker here. i USED to smoke parliaments but since i'm now 'freelance' i had a choice; cigarettes or diet coke. i gave up the smokes, you can't mix rum w/ smokes. -omegawolf
  • The cheapest farkin' ultra light 100s I can find. -MadJack
  • Well, I haven't consumed tobacco on almost 11 years now. Used to be Salem's, with the occasional American Spirit. Also sometimes would suck on a Swisher Sweet cigar. These days, I have a pack of Ginseng cigarettes twice a year (at $7.50 a pack of 20) and the occasional "not included." -Captain Trips
  • Marlboro Lights (box) or Number 7 Lights (rollin' my own) -Ulfgaard
  • Smoked 9.5 years... Started on Marlboro, went to Camel, then went to menthol and never went back... Kools and Newport (and guess what, I'm white!) Salem is for pussies. :) -EagleEye
  • Marlboro Red Cowboy Killers is my suicide engine of choice -Witchfinder
  • wow..de ja vu. detonate.net has exactly this thread going on over there just now. -modeski
  • Camels usually, but since I'm quitting for New Years I'm smoking the sub-generics. Although, my idea of quitting is I'm going to smoke a whole pack of Camel Wides to make myself sick -objekt404
  • Muriel Sweets- black and sweet cigars- a pack a day -HappyCrappy
  • I roll my own: Bali Shag. Good stuff, too. -Amiga5000
  • the cheapest thing that a given merchant carries -Phssstpok
  • Just to keep this thread going *EG* I smoke Players Light Regular when I can afford the $9 a pack (which isnt often). Mostly smoke Canadian Classics Silver (which really means Light but the Government wont allow that word anymore) -LassTech
  • 198. another dreaming tech
    http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/?t=archives&date=2003-05-30
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Aw, dontcha just wish? ;) -Tekkie
  • That would be great. -jard
  • i might just open my own store to do this very thing one day. <eg> -modeski
  • Alright now! You owe me a new monitor. It's your fault I sprayed Jack D. all over it! -Rabbitt
  • Doors on your left.... -rockytech
  • that is definitly one of my favourite ones from that site -PsychoTecMonkey
  • 199. a day later...
    ok silky is gone but Im laughing my head off right now..why.. Because I am remembering the story of how my GF's cat died.. 22 years old..yes 22 very old..still kicking and screaming for an old cat..could beat the shit out of anydog that tried.. Killed more foxes and rabbits in its life than ive see..Died from choking on a rat....I know cat died..but comeon! its still fucking funny after that long life..only to be taking by a small rodent.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • My uncle once had an adult stray cat that appeared on his doorstep when I was little. He kept Punky for many years (I had never given any thought to how old Punky was, just took it for granted). A few years ago, Punky stopped eating, and he took it in to the vet. She had a tumor in her stomach. My uncle decided to put her down, because there was no guarantee that a 20 year-old cat could survive surgery. He got to talking with the vet, and was asked if Punky had ever been in to the vet. My uncle answered to the afirmative, and named Punky's former vet. The vet was floored, because that vet had worked there 22 years previously before retiring. That made Punky at least 24 years old! My uncle had no idea that she was so old, (I guess that he didn't remember that he had first brought Punky in to see the vet in 1982...) -LinuXtreme
  • Little did kitty know that the rat was a master of passive resistance... -TeamWolfguard
  • You may kill me, but I'm taking you with me! -torgo
  • Well, if you've gotta go, you may as well go doing something you love... -lineswine
  • somethin' ya love? you talkin about sex? -srteach
  • 200. Silky
    My cat Silky..i just found her dead..16 years old http://webpages.charter.net/neuman1812 (big pic)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • A pet dying always sucks. You have my deepest sympathies -LegalTech
  • I'm so sorry for you loss, people who don't have pets(or at least pets they like) don't understand the attachment you can feel to the furry/scaly/slime/crawly beasts. I hope you feel better soon. -drachen
  • That just sucks. Hope he's mousing in heaven right now. -VIPERsssss
  • *looks at pic* YOU ALREADY STUFFED HER!?! (Just trying to add some humor. You have my sympathies) -Bobsentme
  • "Her"....sorry. -VIPERsssss
  • Neumann, you have my deepest sympathy. I've been there... -chazz
  • You have my sincerest sympathy. -Tekkie
  • Neuman, you have my symathy! -ch41nbr8kr
  • I'm dreading the day that I lose my cat, Buttons. As if there aren't enough things for me to worry about, we live within 50 ft. of a major highway. Most of our pets have been killed trying to cross it. I've been lucky so far (most of them die within a few years, and so far I've had him for 7...) Anyway, from one dedicated cat owner (or one 0wn3d by a cat, as the case so often is) to another, my sincere sympathies go out to you in your time of loss. I hope that you will soon find another soulmate (er, lapmate). -LinuXtreme
  • She looks like a beautiful animal. A lot of people don't understand that long-term pets like this are family members, and just as difficult to lose. My sympathies. -RiffRaff
  • Just as well, cuz she looks *pissed*... joke, man, put down the... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH! Sorry, losing a pet sucks - sometimes worse than people. -namor
  • *hug* She'll be waiting for you when you get to the Rainbow Bridge, although that's not a lot of consolation now. My sincerest sympathies. -pixel
  • My condolences. Losing a great friend is never easy. I am truly sorry. -viennasausage
  • I know exactly how you feel. I lost my baby almost 2 years ago and still cry if I think about him too much. He looked just like yours. You made my eyes water. I'm leaving for the day. -atomicbill
  • I am sorry to hear that. My dog died a few months ago and I know how it is. I am truly sorry for your loss. -rockytech
  • I'm very sorry to hear that. As a pet for many cats for many years, I understand your pain. -TechnoVampire
  • What a long life she had, you must have loved her so much and cared for her so well. My sympathies are with you,it's an awful thing to lose a companion who has been with you for so long. She looked beautiful and smart. -K1W1
  • thanks everone..I did some backreadin on TSC..and reread some BOFH stories..made me laugh..I needed it. BTW..that pic of her..is her signature "Im going to kill you if you take one more picture" look -neuman1812
  • My brother-in-law and sister had to put down their dog near the end of summer. Sparky was an over-energetic Dalmatian and I had one of the last pics taken of her before she got sick. Sparky was a family member to all of us... I feel your pain, neum. -Jay911
  • neuman my sympathies, a cat is a friend as well as a pet. -Packet
  • So sorry about Silky, It is tough to lose a fur angel ,please know that my thoughts are with you. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • AWWW, man... damn... just damn... -HappyCrappy
  • sorry to hear that -RandalGraves
  • < raises a pint> To silky, A finner companion one could not ask for. To Silky, may < he, she?> find all its furry little heart desires in the hear after. A moment of silence for beloved pets and companions that have passed on. -Harm
  • My condolences. It's hard to live with a cat for a while and not be able to interpret what they're thinking (at least from my experience). They do become like family after a while, and as K1W1 pointed out, the fact that she lived 16 years shows the care that you put into raising them. -HidariMak
  • Dude that sux. Cats are not big but can fill up a lot of space. Try filling it up with something small, like a 10 week old kitten. that still works best -NoNoice
  • I have 2 pets of my own... I feel your pain. To Silky! May he/she go to Cat Heaven, where the mice are plenty, and the yarn is everywhere! -Veinor
  • Losing a friend is never easy - my sympathies...((huggles)) -CommanderData
  • You have my sympathies as well, i also just lost my dog who was more or less my best friend on friday morning. hope you feel betting soon. -EUSoulStealer
  • "... You're dead now Harry! Ya' can't come back. You'd still be with us if you Drove a Cadilac ..." :-) -Necros
  • Dude, I feel your pain. As a co-habitee with 5 cats/kittens (believe me when I say you never own a cat), I understand & feel your loss. We lost 1 cat to illness just about a year ago & one last Easter by being run over - the combined total for vet bills was over £700 (£1300USD), but still the could do nothing. It is a given that if you want to live with pets, the godd comes with the bad, it is just the benefits FAR outweigh the disadvantages. Good luck Silky, wherever you are. -lineswine
  • Bast has another apparently-qualified guardian...my sympathies. -Grue
  • I'm so sorry about your Silky. My Rocky passed away last year from lymphoma cancer, and I still miss him deeply. http://www.users.on.net/~sharky/rocky.shtml - photos at the bottom of the page. If you're struggling, I highly recommend placing a tribute on www.in-memory-of-pets.com or even just reading through the site - it helped me through it. -LadySharky
  • 201. dell
    i am currently on the line with dell tech..god help me
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • And you're out of warranty. Dude, you're getting a bill! -Tekkie
  • Why would a Dell tech be calling you? -gr4p34p3
  • Ab khe nam khe he? (Punjabi) -lineswine
  • *fade in* Hello. Are you tired of losing your friends to bad technical advice? Have they become starfish from listening to others? Well, it's too late for Neuman1812, but there's still hope for the rest of us. Please, please donate your money to your local starving tech! Before we become this: (points to Neuman1812 on the phone drooling). *MAKE WAY! I'M GOING FOR THE SHELTER!* -Bobsentme
  • MMMMMWWWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, have you finished spelling your address to them yet? -Armakuni
  • Oh I can see that I have a lot to look forward to if I ever have to call dell for tech support. On secound thought, I'll just try and fix it myself. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • this should be helpful http://www.insultmonger.com/topbox.htm how to curse in punjabi -GefahrMaus
  • I sincerely hope that their customer service has evolved past "So?" in the last week. -fuqtard
  • 202. education for nothing.....
    I have a $30k education..40$ if you include all the gas millage and matinence on the car for 4 years.. I can install and maintain any windows system from 3.1 to W2k3(uhh beta testing..ya..) I can navigate dos, write bat files. I can install and maintain just about any version of linux. I have sucessfully re-configured a 15 yearold unix system, to workwith bowling machines. I know when to call for help, and I know where to look for it (Google=God) . So why..why oh why..when I get asked a question about a system..it boiles down to PRESSING THE FRIGGING RESET BUTTON!!!!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • one word for ya........ "Starfish" nuff said. -uranid10t
  • What type of bowling machines? My pop used to work for Brunswick, would be curious to know. -Flexo
  • amf 82-30/82-70 one of a few certified "a" mechs on the 8230 -neuman1812
  • ya..the machines are older than me its nice to show up the "older" mechs out there -neuman1812
  • reset or log off? <lart shelter bound> -FrontSideBus
  • You don't have your MCSR cert? Micro$loth Certified System Rebooter. -torgo
  • What? you don't do windows 1, 2, 286 or 386? whiteboard me if you want them. -Dj
  • 203. way to much time
    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/noises.php SFW music
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • AUUGH MAKE IT STOP!!!! -EvilOtto
  • < silently thanks the netadmins for removing the sound cards from our sations> -Harm
  • LOL! Ya know, that was actually kinda cool!=) [sees EvilOtto staring down at me] "ButImustbegoingnowbyebye!" -rokitt
  • I like it! -bert57
  • Why's everybody looking at me like that? < hang head, go directly to lart shelter> -bert57
  • I agree with bert - that is kinda cool -jard
  • Kinda Pink Floyd ish -bert57
  • All those who liked it <raises hand> follow me, proceed directly to LART shelter, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. -pmillipede
  • hahaha, that was cool -areatech
  • *lights up a phattie* Goes to lart shelter -burrkiss
  • That has got to be one of the most creative things I've ever seen. Thanks for sharing. :~} -RiffRaff
  • That's... different... -MadJack
  • Interesting...TWOT, but interesting nevertheless. -Grue
  • I like, I also like Dragostea din tei that is posted later. -Wolffarmer
  • That is extremely cool. -viennasausage
  • 204. Which OS
    Which os Are you: http://www.bbspot.com/News/2003/01/os_quiz.php ME: CONGRATULATIONS! You are Amiga OS. Ahead of your time. You keep a lot of balls in the air. If only your parents had given you more opportunities to suceed.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Dammit, I got the same thing. -Bobsentme
  • I'm apparently Slackware Linux. Huzzah? -CarbonTetra
  • huh, i got debian linux, not sure how to take that. -Armakuni
  • Heh, Slackware Linux. <grin> -PID1
  • Debian Linux - we're in good company. -Gerund
  • You are OS2-Warp. You're plagued by feelings of abandonment and disgust for your backstabbing step-brother. Oh, what might have been. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Hmmm Debian Linux (I don't even know what that is!). In unrelated news, my file extension type is .exe, and I am Lawrence Obi, the Bank Manager of Zenith Bank, Lagos. Anybody want to help me move some funds offshore? -normntaz
  • Norm: OK, first up, chuck your wallet off the pier. -Armakuni
  • Slackware Linux. "You are the brightest among your peers, but are often mistaken as insane. Your elegant solutions to problems often take a little longer, but require much less effort to complete.".... Well, I'm sure we can all agree on the insane part.... -wolfprince
  • damn... win2ksp2 -HappyCrappy
  • OS/2 Warp, hmm... at least I'm not WinME *grin* -teivrann
  • Heh. WinXP! "Under your bright and cheery exterior is a strong and stable personality. You have a tendancy to do more than asked for or even desired." Very interesting. -SwedishChef
  • windows 3.1 a release -postal tech
  • Amiga OS, .exe, Musa Ibrahim - accountant with the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. Geez, who writes these things? -Captain Trips
  • OS/2 Warp. One to beam up. -beatmewithstick
  • I'm a Palm. How odd. Most people will tell you I'm the least organized person they've ever met. -mwicks
  • "Congratulations! StylinTechie; You are Slackware Linux. You are the brightest among your peers, but are often mistaken as insane. Your elegant solutions to problems often take a little longer, but require much less effort to complete." -StylinTechie
  • Win98 *hides* -Dreamstalker
  • I'm feeling insulted. Apple Dos 3.1? Err.... -Shevaresh
  • Apple Dos 3.1 - Simple and primitive with a good understanding of the common man. You're still a work in progress, but a goo start. -Wonko The Sane
  • WOOT! I'm the first to get this one: You are OS X. You tend to be fashionable and clever despite being a bit transparent. Now that you've reached some stability you're expecting greater popularity. -Pax
  • I'm also the Palm OS. WTF? But now taking the which nigerian spammer are you test! HAR! -DoctorTech
  • Debian Linux. Wahey! -trs998
  • Apparently im Windows XP as well Chef -GefahrMaus
  • OS/400. I'm very reliable, but no one understands me. -LaserGuru
  • Slackware Linux, Hah!! :P though i have no idea what that OS is like :P -CrystalMare
  • Interesting, if i slip into BOFH mode i get Windows 95 he he -Armakuni
  • I'm Apple DOS 3.1, whatever the Hell that is...but the comments were complimentary -CTYankee
  • Windows 98 (he said proudly, and without shame!) -RiffRaff
  • Amiga OS....do I win a prize? -lineswine
  • Debian Linux... It was the answers to the "shower" questions that fuxed me up, wan't it? -Beeker
  • Windows 95. Someone is gonna die! j/k -rockytech
  • But on the bright side, my file extension is .html, so of course everybody loves me... *sigh* -Beeker
  • You are HP-UX. You're still strong despite the passage of time. Though few understand you, those who do love you deeply and appreciate you. .html and .doc(from when it first came out) -boxcar
  • OS2 Warp- ermmmm, is this any good? Never worked with it. -Chipsterian
  • HP-UX, too. Interesting... -NordicPT
  • Palm OS - ded wrong in the discription about me. Especially the punctuality part. -JH
  • Hmm, I'm the first redhat linux here it seems. Sure is lonely in the room. -mccallister
  • Debian here as well. -Grue
  • 95, but at least I aint ME. -burrkiss
  • .........if I aint me then who am I? I'm him. -burrkiss
  • Debian, after changing one answer...hmmm, both of them make sense for me. My file extension is .c -Dreamstalker
  • GNU/HURD -Deadagent
  • GNU/HURD -Motient
  • OS/2 Warp(ed) At least it was 1/2 right :) -Oblivious
  • um, fark you brian what ever the hell your name is (author of the quiz) CONGRATULATIONS! You are Windows 1.0. You're a worthless piece of crap that should've never been born. Luckily, your parents were able to conceive again. They rarely let you out of the closet. -blindtech
  • Sheesh, I'm Apple DOS 3.1. How embarrasing. -phsspok
  • Win98 - Looks like I'm in good company! -TechOgre
  • "You are Palm OS. Punctual, straightforward and very useful. Your mother wants you to do more with your life like your cousin Wince, but you're happy with who you are." -DazZler
  • Amiga, .exe, Lawrence Obi -DedSysOp
  • 205. SOX!!!
    Im sitting 50miles outside Boston Mass I swear to (deiety) that I can hear the cheering coming from there. My city, and several of the surronding towns are already letting off fireworks. The bambino has come home.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Can't blame them. After all, this is a celebration 86 years in the making. :D -Wiser
  • See my last post in the break room in Game 7. WHAT... A... SWEEP!!! Cards drive right up the middle... INTO THE PITCHER'S GLOVE! HE'S OUT! IT'S OVER! THE BOSOX WIN THE PENNANT! YAHOOOOO!! Now, Boston needs another victory next week... -MadJack
  • ...meh (runs and dives into the LART shelter) -Splunge
  • *YAWN* I don't watch hockey... <bfeg> -RiffRaff
  • Our facilites manager is in Boston this week. For her neice's funeral. -LaserGuru
  • Sox? Isn't that an abbreviation referring to a fairly well-known colonial rounders team? I hear they're quite good.. <runs frantically for Pond Life, dodging LARTs the size of baseball bats> -Gromit
  • Now lets see if the cures is lifted or if it was just in flux because of the eclipse. -Mathias
  • I swear I could hear the cheering all the way out here in NM...or that could have just been the Sox fans among us. I predict celebratory riots in the streets for at least a month. -Dreamstalker
  • I'd like to post a comment on this tech story, but I can't...BTW - thanks Riffy for telling WTF Sox is. Next you'll be telling us a "world series" is only for a game played by a couple of countries - HA! (as if THAT would be believable - even the most arrogant American wouldn't have the nerve to call a local competition "world", or would they?) -lineswine
  • 206. what the#$@#$
    its 10pm I have to be awake at 3am ..my neighbor has decided to get a delivery..not of a little package..but of a FRIGGING BACKHOE!!! ya know the kind, the ones that need to be delivered on a VERY LARGE LOUD TRUCK..and or course when they back off the ramp ITS JUST AS FRIGGER LOUD WITH TWO ENGINS!!!! who the f#$@ gets a backhoe delivered at 10pm!?!?!?!? in a residential area!?!?! ohh I need some neighbor larts..
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • sugar -burrkiss
  • gas tank -burrkiss
  • dog crap, under the drivers seat. -wolfprince
  • molotov cocktail -namor
  • sawz-all, hydraulic lines -boxcar
  • C4 -Vermiis
  • dog crap in a paper bag, set it on fire, ring door bell, run like hell -tuswole1
  • sleep with his daughter -YellowDart
  • sleep with the wife, unless of course that's what the backhoe is for in the first place o.O -spectreoflife
  • You need a new pool, right? -VIPERsssss
  • Hell, if you're doing moltov cocktails or C4, use bleach in the gas tank instead... just make sure to run like hell. Check to see if he has a building permit. If not, tip off the cops. You should call the cops anyways... 10pm is considered curfew in most places, so anything that disturbs the peace after 10pm is fair game. Paint the backhoe pretty colors, like emerald green or fire engine red, colors that will get the attention of the neighborhood and cost your neighbor some money to get fixed. Game's on, fucker! -exzyle2k
  • rogue suberban paintball ? -Harm
  • "full scale paintball barrage of house" -RandalGraves
  • Hold it guys! You are considering annoying someone who has a back-hoe? Is this really a good idea? -rurwin
  • Noise abatement laws. (Don't apply to the feds, but do apply to the neighbors.) -Captain Trips
  • (Or, in other words, be glad you don't live under the flight path of F18's! I also had to wake up at 3am today, and MCAS Miramar decided that I didn't need to sleep.) -Captain Trips
  • Nah, all you need is a suitable wrench - just LOOSEN as many hydraulic lines as you can find just a little bit. Ever seen one of them let go when the pressure's applied? <BFEG> -Gromit
  • exzyle2k had the right idea. Having dealt with noisy neighbors, the noise ordinance in my area is nothing over 65dB after 8:00pm. Given that your average lawn mower is 87dB, that puts a serious crimp in most noisy stuff. -virtualchoirboy
  • Amateurs… Take said neighbor out for a few drinks. Get him nice a liquored up and take him home. Steal keys to backhoe. Place a few empties in the backhoe and take it on a rampage through the neighborhood that ends with it parked in his basement. Remember to tell police that you had to drive him home because he was hammered and rambling on about “showing those dam neighbors who let their dogs shit in my yard!” -TeamWolfguard
  • Sugar in the gas tank does not work- I watched MythBusters this weekend. I think bleach sorta does something, but I missed that part. -LaserGuru
  • Why hasn't anyone mentioned the "potato in the tailpipe"? </Eddie Murphy> Whether it's the backhoe's exhaust port or the neighbor's is up to you. :D -missourimule
  • LG- You beat me to it! I saw mythbusters, too! Bleach doesn't do anything, either (except that it oxydized the gas tank, and it was starting to rust) I know that they got something to stall it, but can't remember... -LinuXtreme
  • Actually, I looked up the episode on the 'net, and it *was* bleach that stalled the gas engine. Course, the backhoe runs on diesel, so your mileage will vary... -LinuXtreme
  • Sorry for the multiple posts, but I saw where missourimule suggested a potato. Mythbusters tried that this weekend, too. All it did was shoot out again (the bananna did, too) -LinuXtreme
  • It was bleach in the oil that killed the MythBusters engine. -blah
  • ho the f#$@ gets a backhoe delivered at 10pm!?!?!?!? in a residential area!?!?! >>>>>>>> serial killers. -volvo64
  • steal back hoe, dig big hole in ground, drive backhoe into hole, use back hoe to cover itself as much as possible, fill the rest with water. lart completed. -drachen
  • Put GASOLINE in the Diesel tank. THat'll fuck it up good. -OgdenTechGuy
  • You mean that everyone doesn't own their own backhoe? Mine's a 20,000 lb John Deere 510. -volmtech
  • 207. And now for something
    completly diffrent. RED SOX RULE!! thank you.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Wow. Thanks for sharing that. I mean it. Your post just made my day completely, and was a valuable contribution to this site. -512kb
  • This is not the real 512kb, he didn't comment on the typos! -Calydor
  • almost sounded eggish.. JK..only kidding man..I would never lower anyone to that level -neuman1812
  • Wotsa Red Sox? -Gerund
  • Some provincial rounders team I believe, Gerund. -paranoidepiphan
  • erm, i prefer blue socks myself :) -Armakuni
  • No, just always buy black socks and bung them in the same drawer then you never have to search for a missing single sock of a pair , just open the drawer and grab the first two socks to hand -Zoomer
  • So your the one that eats my socks I put in the dryer! -rockytech
  • Where do my socks go, when I put 'em in the dryer?" <Ray Stevens song> -srteach
  • I originally mis-typed "socks" as "sacks", but caught my mistake before posting. (I KNOW where my sacks are.) -srteach
  • i hate the sox, much like i hate the yankees (sorry i am from cleveland -LegalTech
  • <snickers> Hey Legal... Cleveland Sucks! <waves his White Sox banner and runs onto the safety of the field> -exzyle2k
  • GO BOSOX! *grin* -bracketmonkey
  • Any bets there won't be a game 5? -MadJack
  • Yeah, what exzyle said! I would've liked it if the pale hose made it this year, but it was made alllll better by seeing the Cards get in </HateTheCubsRant> -Go Boston! Signed, forever Fisk fan :-) -Avalon68
  • Avalon68, "pale hose?" *jumps back into gutter* -Bioguy
  • GO BOTOX! *grins w/o worry lines* -blah
  • Stuuf all the sox - go barefoot! <you know where to find me...> -lineswine
  • Hehehe... I'm from the south suburbs of Chicago, so being a White Sox fan comes naturally. I remember being at Comiskey (not USC) when it was Sox vs Indians, and there were, I shit you not, 6 fights in the stands because of the "Cleveland Sucks" chant. Good times -exzyle2k
  • Living in Oklahoma, it's rough being a Cowboys hater, but, hey, somebody's gotta do it! </OT, but related to the previous post about hometown teams> GO REDBIRDS! The next 3 are in St. Louis, and my boys tend to sack up at home, although I must admit complete befuddlement at their post-season road record. 52-29 in the regular season, then only a single road win since?!? I knew this wouldn't be a cake walk going in, but dag! The Sox commit EIGHT errors in two games, and still win both? To paraphrase a popular NFL saying: "On any given day..." -missourimule
  • 208. Lart Question:
    We alwas talking about larting a user by holding their computer under water with the power plugged in to let the magic white smoke genie out, or pressing the power button 100 times in a row to re-boot. I have a problem with all this..its not the machines fault the user is an idot..there should be larts where the machine can safely escape harm. <This message brought to you by TAPCM (Tech association for prevention of crulety to machines)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • True, but we want to make sure they can't use it any more in case they survive. -Bobsentme
  • casualty of war... -xtc46
  • Collateral damage.. -Gromit
  • yes but when a PC assists in the elimination of starfish it will have 72 upgrades waiting for it in heaven....(/terrorist logic) -leonine
  • lol @ leonine... -LinuXtreme
  • nothing is ever a machine's fault. they're just jumbles of wires and chipsets, if a machine must die to protect the future of humanity from degrading into a slackjaw, self-important, brainless, unwilling to learn socioty of idiots. Well then So be it. -drachen
  • Machiavelian <sp?> principal - the ends justify the means. -Harm
  • Euthanasia -DedSysOp
  • http://penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040816l.jpg -LiQUidICicle
  • Quick catch the smoke in a jar if you want to save your data! -DMosser31
  • If computers weren't supposed to be used in this way then the wouldn't run from the mains, they would have a little hamster, called Dave, in a wheel bolted onto the side. Strange actually, I just commented on the previous post about a method of taking down a SF by using the box as the detonator :) -Armakuni
  • its a mercy killing neuman...think of that poor computer, it had to put up with that starfish poking and prodding ect.... -SGTARKyTEK
  • Armakuni: sorry, Dave's not here, man... -T23M
  • 209. OT..kinda...ok it is
    going to Montreal this weekend fri-mon, any Canadian techs know whats good to do around there? BTW i'll be bringing my starfish GF so geeky things are out of the question.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • if she likes comedy you might want to visit the Just for laughs museum. -RandalGraves
  • sorry, I'm a west coast canadian tech. Can't help you. -Bynar
  • Does your starfish GF dance on tables? I remember a few places in Toronto... -TeamWolfguard
  • Co-worker is from Montreal, and suggested the strip club, "Solid Gold", if the GF will go. Apparently really big. GF here has been a few times, and suggests 'Old Montreal' down on the quay, for shops and galleries/museums, etc. Will post more when I get suggestions. -namor
  • lets see - the Big O no longer has the expo's. - there is no hockey- the old port is nice though. Check out the old port in MTL nice place. nice little streets and cool stores and stuff. good food too. umm... the tours on the ST Laurent are kinda cool. -Harm
  • most of the strip clubs are in ST Cathrine N. as are most of the clubs too. the Teatre St Dennie may have somthing playing - Barrie street has this nice little italien place - good food and cheap, 2 Story ( yes i lived in MTL) -Harm
  • ST-Denis Street = Dance club and restaurant. St-Chaterine = strip club (exept SolidGold wich is a must). Once you arrive, get your hand on a free journal called "Voir" All the cool activities are puplish in it. I wish you a lot of fun in the city of party and festival. -Vurlon
  • 210. Brother-Type
    Brother-Type

    My brother is a truck driver, 'nough said. if it wasnt for the fact that we live in New-england, he would be the sterotypical redneck. Drives a rig, thinks his ford f150 is the bomb, enough southern flags to make a KKK member gag. Thinks he is the man of the house cause I work on computers (geeky stuff) and my dad retired.

    Today two large campers tried to make it down the street, (side note: We live on a dead end road) the dead end part apears to connect with a large parking lot, and on most maps it does. many drivers have made this mistake.

    as the two campers are trying to turn around, my brother is out there shouting directions "Move to left, keept it to the cars, backup another 2 feet..blablabla." Finially one of the guys yells back up "You a trucker of som'ting?" "YA, he says" "We'll be've been driving this things for near 25 years, I think by now we have figured out how to drive them!"

    All i can think of was a redneck larted by another redneck...

    back to the geeky stuff [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • You'd think after 25 years he would notice silly things like big yellow signs that say "DEAD END." -Jerbear
  • Does he have a Pit Bull or a Rottweiler? -vacuumtubes
  • My mistake: forgot to mention, our street does not have the "DEAD end " sign, A loophole in city planning has allowed this to remain because the original maps have connecting street. No fault of the camper drivers for mistaking that. -neuman1812
  • For a moment I thought you were talking about my brother... boy, the similarities are frightening -teivrann
  • Yeah, I live at the end of an unsigned cul-de-sac myself. (Dead end with a circle, for those rednecks out there.) Imagine how I felt a month ago (heck, imagine how this driver felt) when some idiot being chased by at least 10 police cars comes down our street. He must have thought he could evade them on the side streets. Well, he comes to the end of the street, sees it dead ends, and knows he is sooo screwed! Yup, at least 10 patrol cars came down the street after him, and it is a narrow street too. Good thing this happened at 11:30 at night, as no one needed to leave their homes. They wouldn't have been able to do so. Then, it was a comical sight seeing all those police cars trying to back out of the street -- they hadn't even left enough room for themselves to turn around. -Captain Trips
  • I know what a "confederate battle" flag is, but I've never heard of a "southern" flag. Has that got like a bubba on it scratchin' his ass and sayin' "Hey y'all, lookee here"? -VIPERsssss
  • Now CT, I take offense at that! I'm a redneck and I've known since I was a kid what a cul-de-sac is. I think it was my granddad who taught me that. -kman52000
  • I don't want to be taught about a Cuddle-de-sack... -Hellion
  • 211. Coffee..coffee..coffee
    http://tinyurl.com/6rl3r

    One more to add, youve read this and realized youve done over half of them [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • mushroom, mushroom... -Mushroom
  • Ack!!!link.....not.......working....Ack! -rokitt
  • Aah...link works now...I'm ashamed to admit I have done 1/2 the things on that list...<sips coffee...Aaah>:) -rokitt
  • I am not a coffee achiever. However, I clicked on the "Child Of The 80's" link and *that* was something I got more than half on... yeesh. -Mushroom
  • the good to the last drop comment sounds like a coffee drinker's pickupline -rhiannon
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from SUGAR (not "Sweet & Low", that stuf'll kill ya...) Sounds like me... When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." I'm gonna say that the next time a starfish asks "How are you?" and see how they react... -MadJack
  • People ask me if I drink a lot of coffee. I don't drink it at *ALL*, just tea. Naturally wired when the pressure's on, that's all. Question: Why does coffee smell so good and *taste* so BAAAAAADDDD? -CTYankee
  • Haven't touched coffee for years but might (maybe) try it again one day soon and see if I get away with it. I also haven't done anything on that list. -EmleyMoor
  • 212. @#$%@#$
    twice a week i have an early morning shift (3am) to recieve a warehouse truck. it is now 5am.... if the truck is not going to show up because of the holiday(labour day) PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

    when the manager gets in at 7am I will be giving him a larting, as I was told on friday that the delivery would be normal this week! could've called me on the weekend..email me..cell phone...anything...#$^@#$^@#%#$ [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • At least you getting paid, right? -Dj
  • so, did the truck ever show up? -thx1138
  • what was the delivery? -shadowvox
  • Just defecate on his desk. "Oh, it was a special holiday delivery sir." -Ikaika
  • LOL @ Ikaika -mugglemage
  • And push Reeeeeally hard too. It is labor day, after all. -Beeker
  • 213. SP2 woes
    its 5:15 now and Im bored..so I'll shall relate to you a recent tech story.

    My GF/SO/girl who makes me do things that I would otherwise not do(shower,shave,dress neat) returned to college. As part of the requirement for getting online, they had to drop off their computers to be checked for virus/spyware. A wonderfull thought, but poorly excuted, as 1,500 students arive at the same time wanting to get online. Needless to say the wait time for computer returns is nearing the 3day mark.

    As required by my contract with my SO(well..not contract, but it feels like it) I help her move in to the dorm. Now her computer is maintained by me with with my utmost care. AVG/Adaware/Cookiewall/Mozilla, and all the latest updates from MS EXCEPT for SP2. upon bringing the computer to the lab and seeing the wait, I asked if I could talk to the guy in charge and tell him what I did, hoping that he will let this computer go, knowing what is on it, knowing that it is cared for. He plugs it in and, saying that if all is right he will let it go. The first thing he does is check for Updates, and of course Sp2 is not on. He states that he will not allow it on the network without sp2. After trying to explain to him the problems with sp2 and all its woes, there is nothing more to do. (this was all friday)

    yesterday I go to visit and see she she has the computer back and guess what!?!!? common you know...Thats right FUBAR..errors, not network connections, DLLs missing..the comptuer is hosed. I had to spend the day re-installing windows for her. As i left for the day, I heard through the dorm grapevine, that just about everyone who had sp2 installed...is re-installing windows. Many of the girls are asking for my help in that area....

    so is service pack 2 bad..yes..Unless your girlfriend attends and all girls school (BFEHG) big fking horny grin. [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • ya, we had one person at our work try to install SP2, and I warned her I will not support any issues she has with SP2 installed. She quickly stopped the download. -Bunglehawk069
  • I got around to doing it over the weekend, first I updated all my drivers and then I installed it. I haven't had any problems yet. I know, I have heard a bunch of other people who had problems but I like a challenge. I haven't had any programs go tits up yet either from compatibility. -ewspy87
  • Oddly enough, I had no problems with the SP2 install. (Well atleast no problems that Microsoft itself did not put in there intentionally!!! Example: I had to download a new program to view my stored swf files on my computer because every time I tried to view them in IE I got this damned information bar saying that access has been blocked and I had to keep on unblocking it. UGH! -TheSingingTech
  • I slipstreamed it into an install and burned a new CD. Went on like a dream, and not one update to do, and all the device drivers worked - everything. I'm just so good. -Gerund
  • The only problem I've had is a seemingly-recurring need to uninstall and reinstall my video codec pack, so that Explorer won't crash upon viewing my video folder. Only one computer out of four is exhibiting this... -Jay911
  • I got a new laptop at work last month- I was the first with SP2. No problems. My main XP box at home had become so farked that I nuked and paved Sunday. Installed XP/SP2, turned off the Security Center whines, and all is well. Also upgraded to Media Player 10. -LaserGuru
  • is SP2 considered a "critical update" (shudders to think about it) -mousie
  • The only reason SP2 will fark up a computer is if it's already got problems on it. SP2 needs a clean install of XP in the first place in order to go in right. -EagleEye
  • I installed sp2 on both of my XP boxes at home with no trouble at all. I work for a college and we have installed it on about 200 notebooks for students with so far no trouble at all. -DMosser31
  • This might explain why some people have major problems and some don't: http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/ptech/09/06/windowsupdate.ap/index.html -RiffRaff
  • Riff, stole my comment! But you hit the nail on the head Riff. I've installed SP2 on multiple computers at home, and I've always update all the software and clean off any viruses/spyware before proceeding. And I have never had any problems yet. -LiQUidICicle
  • Have had no problems installing SP2 on computers I know to be clean of problems. I've heard horror stories from spyware-infested systems as well. -teivrann
  • installed it on my own and 60 computers i support no major issues detected just had to ad one exception to ceertain computers for the firewall. -Servo
  • "SP2 makes major changes, including adding a Windows Firewall to better guard computers against attack..." lol, although it was pretty miserable, XP *did* have a firewall prior to SP2.. btw, I have had SP2 since the first release candidate, and no issues here. -Bynar
  • I'm not installing it for the sole fact it corrupts the help files on my companies software. And as funny as the possibilities may be, I likeish my job. -Taterlain
  • The sky is falling, the sky is falling. You know, I'm just going to echo what everyone else here said. SP2 is fine as long as you have a clean PC and you can handle the firewall. I tested it for about a week and rolled it out internally. That's over 60 XP machines and zero problems with SP2. Count them: zero. Of course, it's slightly different than a dorm environment. I can understand why a university tech would want SP2 installed, but he needs to be shot for making it a requirement. -scooby111
  • I don't find myself one bit surprised that it has trouble with spyware. I've hosed a couple of systems by downloading IE updates without realizing they were infested. The windows updater doesn't know how to properly remove the spyware, it in effect just rips it out. -Loren
  • I had the same problem jay911 had. To fix, all you have to do is unregister a certain DLL that handles Video previews/thumbnails: regsvr32 /u shmedia.dll <- Enter that at the command line and your problem will go away. -JoeLugian
  • everyone who downloads sp2 needs their head examined. -shadowvox
  • ok, I'll have mine examined. But they won't find anything. : ) -JoeLugian
  • shadowvox, that's not a nice comment, considering more than half of us techs on TSC probably have SP2 installed. Like we've already proven, SP2 has 0 count them ZERO issues when the PC is clean and updated, plus SP2 patches up most known security holes (I'm sure there's still holes). Try reading Riff's link http://tinyurl.com/6acrd before saying we need our heads examined. -LiQUidICicle
  • Does anyone here remember the days when you only installed odd-numbered NT service packs? Even-numbered ones had a tendency to be total rubbish & hose your server. I just wonder if it is a case of history repeating itself. -lineswine
  • Thanks Joe. And lineswine - sounds like the theory on Star Trek movies to me. :) -Jay911
  • No issues with SP2 at work, nor at home.... -Grue
  • 214. (NT) me and the misses
    just thought I let the world know, Im currently as of 6pm est been dating for 4years the same human female lifeform.

    We have discussed the "m" word. but we have decied against anymore discussiong until she has graduated from college (1 year to go)

    and yes I still love her even tho she is a starfish...

    (standing up on stage) HI, Im neuman and I admint I'm a starfish lover.

    she doent understand computers and still has a hard time double-clicking. but she at least follows my directions to the letter.

    end NT back to work you KNAVES! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • (sings) Don't worry. Be Happy. (/sings) -Rabbitt
  • Hi Neuman! (I'be been with a starfish for almost 7 years....still not married.) -Bobsentme
  • That's okay buddy. I won't tell anyone your dark secret. Well, that is I won't if you slide me some cash. -mccallister
  • traitor!!!! <bfeg> no really, congrats on being happily in love. My best friend is married to a starfish, she makes the same mistakes repeatedly (downloaded bonzie buddy 3 times a few years ago, only way I broke her of it was to threaten to cut off free support), but she's one HELL of a cook, <ducks all the feminist larts> and a really good person. -wolfprince
  • *beeming with pride* - I taught my wife how to make network cables last night. She got the wire order exactly backwards (read: tip was upside down) on her first try, but she learned quickly! -EagleEye
  • Guess that makes you an Asteroideaphile! Don't worry about it - just accept the warm glow of your happiness. -BritishBunny
  • Awww, I wanna get married... :( (CONGRATS!) -snowcrash
  • <shakes head> That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear that. Mixed marriages never work. She's either going to have to learn or you're going to have to get a lobotomy. </it's the law> -scooby111
  • Thank goodness I'm married to a geek... for two months now :) and he's a gorgeous geek... -Eloewien
  • Myself and the other half have been together for 4 going on 5 years. Not married, but it is grand to share you life with someone isn't it? :) -fearmyroot
  • I've been married to my wonderful LadyLineswine for 11 years now - she started out with ZERO knowledge/interest in computers. Given time, careful mentoring & timely doses of "You've done what? Nooooo!" she can do virus patches, regularly runs ad-aware, knows how to renew her IP if her wireless laptop loses connection. Her reputation is such that now she is the unofficial geek at her school. Ain't life grand! -lineswine
  • I don't believe she qualifies as a starfish, by following your instructions exactly she automatically rank up to at least Computer newbie, possibly even new user. -Lehk
  • Married nearly 9 years. It's grand. -Dj
  • S'alright, love. My fiancee is not exactly the most technically minded, at least not in the PC / Network realm.. but he is great at cars, and does all the little things that the Sidhe can't do for herself, or forgets to do for herself.... (purr) -TechieSidhe
  • Awww congrats! My geek and I have been together almost two years now, not married but still. All my hardware geekiness I learned from him..software I learned on my own :) -Taterlain
  • Mrs Gromit and I have been wed for almost 30 years, I've been in IT for about 24 years, and she's STILL scared shitless of computers. Good thing is, she knows what she doesn't know (i.e. computers) so stays well clear of them. SF she ain't - she's a very intelligent lady (also a very tolerant one - she hasn't either divorced or killed me - YET) -Gromit
  • 215. f$%king weather
    sitting here reading TSC, when the TV go nuts...The city has just issued a tornado warning for my county. Aparently a funnel was reported about 20miles away from me and headed this way. Just as side note: there haset been a warning like this since 1952! Im sitting on top of the higest hill in our city. in a house built in 1908. The thunder is on a constant roll right now, no rain. Dry lighting striking every 3-4sec. dogs going nuts

    could I get an emer gency shiptment of good-weather karma fast?

    for you who know the weather of tornados Im in Central Massachusetts (worcester county)

    as Im typing this tv has just gone out along with power.. TTYL wish me luck [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • If you have a basement then get into the deepest part. If not try a <u>windowless</u> room like a closet. Might want to get a mattress or something to block it. Oh and the karma train is a rollin' -rockytech
  • Karma on its way post-temporal-haste! -mrwolfie
  • grrrrrrrrrrrr forgot the tags don't work in comments. <mumbles about the 7 day workweek> -rockytech
  • don't forget to get the pictures to RiffRaff :-) -madonnac
  • Karmic catapult is loaded down, and the loads of karma are weighted with extra-heavy ballast to make sure it doesn't wind up in the Land of Oz. Best of luck! -teivrann
  • OH and I'm diverting the karma your way, as the stuff I asked for won't be any use. no certs, no consideration... -madonnac
  • Extra karma coming towards ya... -hkypipe
  • <Whips out the Karma-Matic!> Slicing and dicing starfish and sending the karma your way! Also playing Van Halens "Humans Being" for good luck! :) -rokitt
  • 216. f$%king weather
    sitting here reading TSC, when the TV go nuts...The city has just issued a tornado warning for my county. Aparently a funnel was reported about 20miles away from me and headed this way. Just as side note: there haset been a warning like this since 1952! Im sitting on top of the higest hill in our city. in a house built in 1908. The thunder is on a constant roll right now, no rain. Dry lighting striking every 3-4sec. dogs going nuts

    could I get an emer gency shiptment of good-weather karma fast?

    for you who know the weather of tornados Im in Central Massachusetts (worcester county)

    as Im typing this tv has just gone out along with power..(computer on battery) TTYL wish me luck [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • Wimp. :) (I'm in Omaha, Nebraska... we see this all the time, and it's a spectator sport anymore.) -EagleEye
  • wow! a double post! Maybe you'll get double the karma this way. Good idea. -JH
  • Anti-twister KarmaKritters™ are twirling your way. -wolfprince
  • Keep your head down. Preferably under a sturdy table. :~} -RiffRaff
  • <Starts cranking the old Air-Raid/Tornado siren> Here's some heavy Karma to keep you planted! -Bobsentme
  • I'm sending some your way bro. I have some spare from the anti-flood-karma that was sent my way earlier in the week. -modeski
  • Launching all Texas Anti-Twister karma... and, whatever you do, DON'T go to the office and get on the phone!!! <rrrrrRROOOOOO!!!!> "Fix my problem!!" SMASH TEAR RIP RUUUMMMMBLLE AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! "Hello... HELLOO!!! Are you there... damn lazy techs..." -MadJack
  • 217. -Warning-
    Put down all drinks..this one cost me a keyboard

    Rene Descartes is sitting in a bar, doing what he does best--philosophising. he's had a few pints of ale over the course of the evening, and it's now last call. The bartender asks him if he wants another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and promptly vanishes.

    BTW, the storm passed without problems..no twister [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • "And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, I drink there for I am..." -TechieSidhe
  • Hmmm I don't get it. Maybe i am just tired -rockytech
  • Descartes was known for the line "I think therfor I am" -neuman1812
  • so ifwe cary that out another step: "I think not, therefore, I am not." it's an oldie, but a goodie. I never get tired of this one. (and can never remember his damn name) -wolfprince
  • So if he thinks not then he ain't -BritishBunny
  • Pffffffft! Farkin Descartes!, what the hell did he know?. The mere existance of end users completly disproves his theory!. -Digital Dogcow
  • He turned down a brew? Talk about alcohol abuse... -mccallister
  • hehehehe! I'm more a fan of Nietzsche, really. -Dragones
  • I am more in tune with the sage advise and philosophical splendor of Dave Chappelle: "YEEAAH! WHAAAT? OOKAY!" -mugglemage
  • That wasn't Descartes, that was Popeye! </slightly obscure misquote> -karlata
  • I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't though of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic. </HHGTG quote> -PID1
  • Well quoted P1D1. -StarfishArthur
  • End users think not, therefore they are! If end users thought, they wouldn't. -EmleyMoor
  • now I've got a philosophy headache... again -srteach
  • I ain't heard that one in a LOOOOONG time - still makes me laugh out loud though... -lineswine
  • Hmmm... interesting concept, but fallible. Starfish don't EVER think, so why do they exist at all? <thinks: I wonder if LART-shelters are philosophy-proof?> -Gromit
  • Common misconception. Just because A implies B, that does not mean not A implies not B. Example. Let A be "I am human", and let B be "I exist". Then, clearly, A implies B, but not a does not imply not B. However, not B implies not A. -Veinor
  • 218. I AM A GOD! (NT-sorta)

    not realy, but thats what I feel like. for the last couple of weeks some friends of mine have been having random problems with their respective computers. So I have build and some are store-bought.

    They come to me with a problem and i say I'll be right over. As soon as I get over, NO problems! I have come to the conclusion that computers see me as their god and act perfectly when I am around, but then stop working as soon as I leave.

    one of my friends has even begun to refer to be as "god" simply because I can navigate a dos promt, or reset a WinXP password using linux. (no less than 5 times now).

    so here's a question, how much do "Computer-Gods" make? i thinking $100/hr, or a 30 rack. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • My dad does that with cars: pisses my mom off. I do that with computers (sometimes): pisses my mom off. -VIPERsssss
  • I love it when that happens. It is our tech aura that the computer responds too. While the user is blubbering on about "it was broken I swear" I just shout a gleeful "Done! I will be closing your ticket!" and skip away. -Slatavus
  • That happens to me here at work. Very lovely lady in another department is always asking me to come by her desk to look at her PC, when I do, the PC seems to always be working fine. :) -rokitt
  • Hey, Rockitt, sounds like you maybe should scedule an appointment to troubleshoot her home computer. ;) -Amiga5000
  • Happens to me on a regular basis. I figure the machines recognize the "Tech Aura" and bow before the master. -TechnoVampire
  • I usually crack a joke to the EU saying "Glad I could help" -mikeatnight
  • Perhaps you are just dyslexic. -LaserGuru
  • Amiga5000, I don't think Mrs. rokett would appriciate that very much, and she's a very sweet, charming, attractive woman with one HELL of a sence of humor....swhich she needs, being married to rikitt.<bfeg> -wolfprince
  • I've been told many time that I have to stay at someone's desk so s/he can get her/his work done. -sassicatz
  • I wish it was $100/hr since doing tech support for the few bucks is shitty. -SamFT
  • maybe your from a different species, but where I come rom a "1 rack" is enough to simply curl up and cry. Why would you take that as payment? -mugglemage
  • I just tell them the machine is scared of me. It knows that it's a long way down from the 6th floor balcony. -Rabbitt
  • 219. brain fart
    sorry I know this needs to be on the message board, but its kinda important. how do i set html to list the contents of a dynamic(contents changing all the time) directory? with the ability for people to click on the file and download it? its for game replays.

    thanks [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Easiest solution (If you have the access) is to enable directory listing and point/link to te directory. be sure there isn't an index.html or similar -Dj
  • Er.. that directory listing _for that directory_. don't wanna let the hackers in! -Dj
  • ... specifically, put Options Indexes in the htaccess file in that dir, if the server supports it. -namor
  • 220. time for a diet
    sorry didnt want to break the LOTD: http://tinyurl.com/4aea2 do not read before ..after..during.. just dont think about food when reading this.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • or try http://washingtontimes.com/upi-breaking/20040812-095119-8628r.htm -neuman1812
  • I warsh myself with a rag on a stick </fat bart> -mikeatnight
  • You think that's bad - how about a Nebrasksan who weighed 1,072 lbs? http://tinyurl.com/6c4g2 -BritishBunny
  • my sister, a nurse-in-training, once told me about a patient who was complaining of abdominal pain. The woman was "easily 6 or 700 pounds, maybe more". Apparently she moved so infrequently that flies had laid eggs in the folds of her flesh and the larvae (maggots) were feeding off her live body. Thyroid issues, I can understand. General largeness, heaviness, or even obesity to a degree is fine by me if you're happy with who you are. But to live on a couch in your own filth so bugs and maggots snack off your snacks.... it's both disgusting and unforgivable! >:P -mousie
  • hmm... nope. still hungry. -Harm
  • maggots will not eat live flesh. they are not capable of it. that's why some Dr.s are returning to using maggots after amputation sergury, to eat the flesh that dies after the amputation,a nd leave the living flesh more healthy. In the case mousie told us about, I can believe that the maggots were eating the skin that died due to lack of oxygen, and sweat, with the snacks she lost in the folds. <I think I've just made MYSELF sick. sorry> -wolfprince
  • Big people need love, too. But if I ever got that big I would probably starve myself. Well, no, I'd just eat salads for the rest of my life. -Zayda
  • First tasteless joke of the day: No one mentioned that she was involved in a marathon game of Everquest. Second tasteless joke of the day: The woman used to weigh 650 pounds, but then she went on the Subway diet (Thanks Jared!). -Answerboy
  • In WWII when my dad was on deep patrol in the Pacific Theater they would put maggots under the bandage of wounds. Kept them clean -Wolffarmer
  • did anyone else notice how tall this woman was???? 4 ft 10!!!!!!!!! she must have been a perfect orb -GefahrMaus
  • 221. duh?!
    New Page 1

    The Power Storm

    A play by Neuman.

    Scene 1. Act 1.

    Cast: Neuman = me

    Bossman=Manager on Duty(MOD)

    Setting: Recent storm activity has caused a power failure in my area, Including my place of employment. Cue Morning; Neuman arives to work.

    MOD: "Hey neuman, (the boss mumbles) we cant get the registers up, and the scan guns dont work. Can you take a look at it for us, b4 we call the help desk?"

    Side Note: every call to the HD costs money to the store calling.

    Neuman: "Sure" (hoping that this will be rememberd on the next review, that I am always willing to help in a time of need.)

    (As neuman enters the main office, a look of despair crosses his face. Reality has set in that not 1 but 3 people have examined the problem and have not see the solution. Neuman's eyes drift to the computer, and then being to focus on the power button. A dell series computer, like his own at home sits there. With these particular series of dell computers, the engineers have seen it fit to light the power button itself, instead of making a seperate LED on the case. It is at this point that Neuman sees the NON-GLOWING power button, and presses it. A few seconds later the screen lights up and the registers turn on. (Why the system does not have a battery backup, will never be solved.)

    Cue Neuman: (laughing so hard that tears stream from his eyes)

    Neuman : "So how does one get a job at the help desk here?" (said between laughs)

    MOD: (cracking a smile) "At this point, just show up"

     

    Note: The reason for the MOD comment is that last week a storm in the Jersey area created a small tornado (technically not powerfull enough to be considered one, but funnel activity was recorded) and as such caused our warehouse roof to collapse, taking the main server and about $7mill in inventory. Given that the IT staff has done a great job in re-setting the server in a new warehouse in the matter of 24hours, It has caused every store in our chain to (90+ stores). to get sporatic computer problems.

    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • never use front page to format your text (mumbles somthing about starfish moment) -neuman1812
  • Dude, I know not everybody's trained to write in play format, but there are programs to help with that.. (believe me, my Dramatic scriptwriting prof was debating on installing them on a couple of machines but liscensing issues made it more a recommendation on her part)... :) -Warrick
  • Tornados that weak are still considered tornados if they touch down and have winds of less than 73mph. And one can only hope that there is a promotion/raise for you in Act II. :~} -RiffRaff
  • There would be even more reason for kudos if you go into the BIOS Setup and set "Return to previous power state after interruption"..... -AncientHacker
  • 222. vague?
    As part of my job in recieving, I take care of all the damaged merchandise that gets returne/exchanged, as Im the onlyone with access to that system in the computer.

    Before I started working there, they had no record keeping of the damaged products; broken=trash. After I started I used just one extra step to make sure all items were in fact broken.

    Simple form, Included: You name, Dept of product. date, Description of problem.

    Today I recieved a product and Under the "Description of Damage" The only word was "Damaged." When I get my scanner running I will put it up for all to see

    Confucius Says :"

    Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day" [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Should be "Broken = Home, thence to ebay..." -ChildofCthulhu
  • There's got to be something you can respond with akin to the "Military Air Mechanic Gripe" list. Like "Damage found to be on par with other devices seen at this station." -Jay911
  • Man who going though turnstyle sideways going to Bangcok. -burrkiss
  • "Something loose in cockpit" "Something tightened in cockpit" -karlata
  • Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear. Solution: Evidence removed. -Splunge
  • Problem: target radar humms Solution: target radar programmed with the words -sadako
  • 223. HI all
    Been a few weeks since Ive posted a story (current work has no tech value to it) But I must speak up on somthing

    Its seems that there has been a recent rash of new stars poping up, thanks to a mysterious benafactor(s). I have to say everytime I read about a new star it brings a tear to my eye.

    Here at TSC we have people from all over the world, who know each other and who will never meet, but here they are all friends. I doubt I have ever met any of you, but Im guessing that In a time of need/crisis/venting, I could get a little comfort knowing that so many of you care.

    black, white, male, female. It's amazing how many of us share the same common traits.

    So here's to you, you mysterious benefactor(s), A world Wide Toast to you, and to the community of TSC, SALUT! [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I LOVE YOU MAN </drunken slurr> but seriously, you all rock. -xtc46
  • I want to join you in saying how great the people are on this site! Also to let you know that it is not "One Almighty Benefactor." I *know* there are at least three "mysterious benefactors" and I suspect there are more! -Anon
  • Thanks! I wish I could do more but slow & steady wins the race! -temp
  • I have commented to more than a few people, including Hawk, on how I admire the atmosphere of family that TSC has taken on. Yes, we sometimes get into it with each other, but it seems it always gets ironed out in the end. That's what sets TSC apart from other online communities, IMHO. I hope it continues to build. -RiffRaff
  • agreed, It really shows the community here when people will put down their money for someone they have perhaps even met in person. Way to go. !! -Ksnarf
  • I've certainly found more people here who share my interests than I could ever meet in person. TSC is a great community! -sassicatz
  • I wish I could give $$$ to Hawk in someone else's favor, but it's gotten so expensive to "live" in California, that I may just pack it all up and move to Baja. I'll send a $20.00 to Hawk b4 I go. -billybien
  • As a recipiant of a "gift" I'd like to add my thanks to the "Mystery Giver", and express my grattitude to everyone else who've been so great. You've all made this place very special to me. <ye gods, I didn't know i could sound so sappy and sweet and mean every word of it...> -wolfprince
  • if anyone wins the lottery, think of your TSC friends! That would be cool if we woke up one day and we all had stars. I'm sure Hawk would like that idea -LiQUidICicle
  • Well said, well said indeed neuman1812. I think I even saw a glint of a tear in wolfies eye. I truly believe that the karma the benefactor(s) give out with the stars will return to them 10 fold. -Rabbitt
  • Wolfie, it just means that you are similiar to me- a man, who at 32 years aof age, was told by a respected, multiple times published Phd type english professor, that there was , in me, the soul of a poet hiding inside the hulk of a biker... -HappyCrappy
  • "We band of brothers (and sisters :P) we lucky few" we that daily wage war on willful ignorance and stupidity! and IMHO this may be a tech website, but I don't think your industry of employment matters so much as having the heart and mind of a tech. *salutes* to the unknown benefactor(s) you know who you are. -Mephiston
  • Yes, the "mysterious benefactors" are well appreciated - they've given a general boost to morale around here, as well as the obvious benefits to the lucky recipients! -Grue
  • As the first (I believe) receipient of the largesse of the unknown star donators, I heartily agree with all the kudos, thanks and other assorted comments on this board. The whole TSC family ROCKS! -SwedishChef
  • Never before have I wanted to belong to an online community, but I must say you guys rock! -Zayda
  • This is certainly a very unique island in the tumultuous seas of the Internet, and I'm glad I washed up on it. -LadySharky
  • ~we are family.... I got all my sisters with me...~ </singing> <ok, not a gay-bar, but all I could think of> -Dj
  • It's nice to have a place like this, to share fun, release some anger, ask for help (tech or any other). Even better since we all here, most of the times, are kind and respectful to all the others. Cheers to all the members of this family! -AmdInside
  • Every now and again, I find an online community that I like to be a part of. All too often, they change to the point that I no longer want to be a part of them. Looking back on the ones I have visited and the ones I have left, a common thread emerges: maturity. Far too many communities are full of 14- and 15-year-old wannabe's throwing insults at each other of the "J00 suxx0r!!!111!" caliber; and far too many descend to that level over time. In this one, we have people who, no matter what their calendar age (and yes, I mean you among others here, Veinor) are grown-up enough to realize that there is more to life than scoring points off other losers. -chazz
  • 224. spam me!
    Im testing a new spam filter I developed. go ahead..try me! iwantspam69@charter.net
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Ok, I'll bite. Here's where I put your add http://www.spamware.org/spamware/iwantspam.asp -TheGooch
  • I love the disclaimer on that page :D " Warning : If you submit your email address, you will get bulk emails." WELL DUH! -KronK
  • I made a spam catching address and signed up on that site and *still* my main email address gets more spam. -itwasntme
  • We decided to test that I want spam page at work, and signed up a gmail to it. Either there is great SPAM filter on Gmail or that dosen't work, as we get nothing in it. -dokdoyle
  • DokDoyle, check the Spam folder for Gmail - my account got a fair amount of spam, but gmail managed to filter all but one message since I got the account. -DreadPirate
  • Wow, dokdoyle , you have a gmail accout to spare? how can I get me one? gmailmachine closed sice *someone* was cheating. -Dj
  • I still havent gotten any spam to the address that i setup with the iwantspam link and its been about 3 weeks -mikeatnight
  • I have a GREAT filter: if your e-mail address is not in the to: list, block it. -Veinor
  • 225. first post
    of the day...whats my prize!?
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    Comments

  • You get my "midnight special" (evil laugh) -Gerund
  • damn..i was hoping for some swimsuit pics of a certin female tech from across the pond..{bfeg} -neuman1812
  • Jeeze guys - I don't even own a swimsuit. I prefer au naturel *CD laughs evilly* -CommanderData
  • Oh, you meant *that* female tech? <rows back to her side of the pond, muttering> -LadySharky
  • Step 1. Organise Beach BBQ. Step 2. Invite CD <grin> -PID1
  • Neuman - I've seen CD in real life....tee hee! -lineswine
  • The way the men go on here you'd think geeks never got any... um... hmm.... hey *I'm* married. -Dj
  • Is that verification or your excuse DJ? -Cooki3
  • You've won a free download from here: http://tinyurl.com/gusq -Digital Dogcow
  • Cooki3, "the exception proves the rule" -Dj
  • We're all equal opportunity techs here! CD and LadySharky, we'll be glad to ogle pictures of the both of you! <checks to make sure camera has fresh batteries and empty memory card> What? You were expecting film? -ecoli
  • So you hit the Post button 15 seconds after the hour, happens to us all. :) -Mushroom
  • 226. Road Trip!!
    OK so Im heading south for a few days, Going to visit Myrtle beach (SC) gunna be there for about a weak. Anyone in the area? If your a star member I'll buy at the local pub, if your not a Star member, I'll let you show me around :)

    Moving the family down there, Im the only one with a Class A, so I get to drive the truck. Might be looking to move myself in the future. whiteboard me if your interested in metting.

    Ok so now count the SP and Grammer errors. [By: neuman1812]
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  • You didn't say south from where, so if Omaha is on the way I could do with a beer. ;-) -Rabbitt
  • You misspelled grammar <BEG> -LaserGuru
  • Ok - I see ten grammar and spelling errors - do I get a prize? -BritishBunny
  • Ok - I see ten grammar and spelling errors - do I get a prize? -BritishBunny
  • Oh Sheeeit - how did that double-comment happen? Must have been wolfprince's fault! -BritishBunny
  • OK fine. The contraction for “I am” is “I’m”. “Gunna” should be “going to”. “Anyone in the area?” is a sentence fragment. It should be “Is anyone in the area?” There should be a comma after “member”. You used the word “your” when you meant “you’re”. There should be a period after the word “pub”. You missed the period after the word “around”. “Moving the family down there,” should read “I’m moving the family down there.” <bzzzzt> <brraap> Grammar overload. <bzzzzzzzz…… -scooby111
  • ok i see a double post in the comments, that's worth more points isn't it!?!?!?! -wolfprince
  • and once again, i get blamed. -wolfprince
  • south from central ma..doen i-95. BB you get a free "get out of lart way card" -neuman1812
  • Cool! Thanks neuman1812! -BritishBunny
  • Hmph. I count 14 errors in the original post. Then again, I don't get picky about others' posting / commenting technique, else I'd do nothing except WBMC about others. -Grue
  • If your plans aren't set in stone yet, may I suggest using I-287 to I-87 to go around NYC? Unless you're going at night, taking I-95 thru the city will tax your patience nearly as badly as a quad-shift dealing with CEOs who are new users! -CTYankee
  • seven spelling and four grammar. -ewspy87
  • I'll see your double post and raise you a dangling participle. -ecoli
  • Oh crimeny! Raise your own dangling participle, you freak! Did you type that one-handed? *BSEG* -Beeker
  • SC is not south, the only thing south is Miami. Everything else is north....oh, wait, south for you, not me. If you want to keep heading south, you can buy for me! -JH
  • Ok - I see ten grammar and spelling errors - do I get a prize? -BritishBunny
  • Ok - I see ten grammar and spelling errors - do I get a prize? -BritishBunny
  • Ok - I see ten grammar and spelling errors - do I get a prize? -BritishBunny
  • who cares about grammer and spelling? It's cammunicating tha idea that counts -srteach
  • 227. Gmail-Email-Yahoo...
    ok, first off forgive me if I sound like a SF BUT... why 1gb of email? why 125m? I'm confused why anyone would need this kind of space. My account, is good for 10mb, I have been using it for well over 3 years now. Everyone in the world has my address, and I get a regular 100-120 spam A DAY! it doesnt bother me nice little filter takes care of most spam, But I have never ONCE come close to filling it.

    so please forgive my ignorance..but why the hoopla over 1gb? [By: neuman1812]
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  • AAAAAAmen, brother! Same with me! I guess either we're not that popular, or people just can't get enough futtin' SPAM!!! -billybien
  • I think its less about the storage space, and more about the corporate stability of the provider. That and the fact that you currently don't have to apply for qwertyuiopinaustralia12345@provider.com (see Userfriendly.org for a funnier version of the above explanation) -Mephiston
  • One word for you - PACKRAT -redevil34
  • ok packrat..great..ohhh wait..unless your HD is less than 1gb...cant you just store messages locally? -neuman1812
  • :D it's just nice to have. there's no limit to the number of attachments, so it's a good spot to store stuff. -mousie
  • Why do I have 500gb of hard drive space? So I can say mine's bigger, HAHA. Plus I save lots of stuff, but hey what the hell right? -DarthLuke
  • <sneaks in> i have 2tb hd space love lacie drives <sneaks away> -neuman1812
  • I'm still at least average right </sad attempt to save my ego :)> -DarthLuke
  • ahh how quaint he still using MB... sorry couldnt resist.. -neuman1812
  • Oh come on. Just archive the messages to CD/DVD and you theoretically have INFINITE storage space. Of course, with Hotmail going to 250Meg by the end of summer and I've got SBC accounts at 1Gig already, what do I care...<g> -virtualchoirboy
  • Well, for me, I can use a script, chop a large file into 10MB chunks and attach them to a series of emails. Then I can access them from anywhere. Think of it as a 1GB online hard drive with a 10MB block size. -scooby111
  • Home server + imap + pine/squirrelmail = accessible almost anywhere, and limited only by the drives I put in... Gonna start experimenting with LVM/software RAID while doing the new server soon, so it'll be even nicer. I'm also an email packrat - delete all spam, and I've got about 450MB of mail dating back a few years. -namor
  • I get bunnies in my box . . . actual little hoppy bunnies for a rabbit rescue society (well, pics of them), which I post on the website. About 10 MB per WEEK! -valkyrja
  • Storage space is good, obviously, but I have common first name@common surname.net through NetIdentity. Admittedly it costs $25 a year but I've kept it for six years now and I don't know how many ISPs and used POP all that time too. -DavidHM
  • 228. A god?
    in honour of ComanderData, for recent Bofh activities, and the dealing with some of the most uberstarfish there are. I hearby nominate CD as a Goddess.

    By the power invested in me, by nobody at all i dub thee CommanderData, god of Geeks and Techs alike.
    For all you heathens that think gods dont exist, I believe that a 8x10 framed photograph of CD in a swimsuit should be enough evidence. CD if you would like to mail me that picture, I will make plenty of copies for the heathens so that they may believe and be converted. {bfeg}

    This has been another random post, thank you and goodnight [By: neuman1812]
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  • No photos! We visialize gods in our own mind. Whoooweee! -CyBear
  • ???? WTF? What you talking about Cybear??</Gary Coleman> Maybe you can visualize CD in a swim suit, but I want the picture!!! -ecoli
  • Ditto for me. Pictures, mpegs, whatever you got. BFEG OW!!!! I needed emergency pants this morning, and now they're binding up.... -Beeker
  • Well, if that is the way you are going to be, consider me a heretic! Please send photos to... -DragonMageWTF
  • When I saw that 8x10, my mind blanked out the bar in the 8 for a moment and I saw 0x10, which I immediately converted into 16.... -Veinor
  • I protest!!!! if anyone should be named a god its either The Cayote or DD :P -CrystalMare
  • ooopppsss it "The Coyote" my bad :P -CrystalMare
  • Goddess? Nope. The right-hand LART of a god? Sure. Think Valkyrie. -scooby111
  • Thou shalt feel the wrath of CD Goddess of geekdom or thou shalt be smited by the LART of Justice! -rockytech
  • A goddess yes. Dressed in a bathing suit? I think not. The robe clasped at her breast with a golden pin, and a white veil draping from her head, even Zeus could not resist saying "Never has my love for goddess or mortal so flooded my senses and filled my heart!" or perhaps "A provocative position with her one breast showing" or perhaps Venus de Milo. (but with arms)(to lart smack the Rabbitt with of course) -Rabbitt
  • CD IS a geek goddess, if you have a 10x8 of her in a swimsuit all I can say is "Schwing! </waynes world> As long as Ladylineswine doesn't catch me, that is... -lineswine
  • 229. Decisions...decisions..
    Currently I am employed in a non-tech related job. 8.50$hr 40hrs week guaranteed. The job is OK, but the pay sux. Just got a call from a staffing agency, a company that installes computer systemes in Hospitals has taken on a major growth period, They install systems nationally. They are looking for someone in my area to cover local hospitals, and came upon my resume. The job is on-call (pager) no guaranteed hours. But the pay works out to be about 25-30$ hr with a min 2 hours work time. contract work. do i take the chance or not?

    GAHHH i hate life changing decisions!!!! not to rush but I have to respond in like 48hrs neeeeed karma [By: neuman1812]
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  • Well do you know the hiring company? Trustworthy? Going to stay in Business? Also are the hostipals in your area old and likely to renovate and need or service. Or brand new and not likely to provide much work. Lasty if you do that the gamble and it doesn't work out, how hard would it be to get your current or a similar job back? Hospitals are moving towards a more PC based record keeping and diagnoses, so the risk could be very rewarding. -MightyMouse
  • Well I guess I'd better sacrafice another goat. -samurai
  • You can't win if you don't play the game. Give it a go! (She says, secure in no details about her new job except her payrate.) How else can life be an adventure if you don't risk?? -snowcrash
  • At $25/hour, you will need a minimum of 14 hours/week to maintain your current income. That "guaranteed 2 hours" isn't worth much. So I guess it comes down to a lot of the things MightyMouse already mentioned. However, I will offer this quote from the wisdom of Captain Jean-Luc Picard: "Take a risk or play it safe? How precious is the right to choose. And because I've never been one to play it safe, I choose to try." Good luck! -RiffRaff
  • Be very careful here. The hospital here did this with a local IT shop and once the bulk of the work was done, cut ties. The local IT shop almost went belly up because of it. They had people just sitting around in the office for a few weeks w/ no work. I heard the only reason people weren't let go was because the owner was a nice guy and knew everybody on a personal level. The other thing to consider if benefits: are you getting them now and will you get them with the new position? How about hidden benefits, i.e. dress code, flexible hours, when is the pager allowed to go off (a 2:00am call can really suck). -virtualchoirboy
  • Min 2 hours job time means that they will pay you for 2 hours whenever the pager goes off, so you would need 7 jobs (max -- one 14-hour job would be enough on its own, or 7 sub-2-hr callouts) per week to keep you at your current level of employment. Likely since you will be "on call", there will be NO benefits at all. Figure benefits can be as much as 30% of wages, and the number of hours per week required to match current goes up to 19. Rule of thumb: you'll be idle half the time. So this is $25,000 - 30,000 per year. Your current job pays $17,000. Me, I'd go for it if I didn't have the responsibilities I have. -chazz
  • I have no advice on this one, but sending you some karma anyway. what ever you decide, i hope it works out well for you. -wolfprince
  • Benefits are as much as 50% of your wages. Just remember that nothing ventured = nothing gained. To answer the question fully, I'd have to know more about your situation. Are you supporting a family and are you looking to move up in the IT world? Is it your chosen vocation? If you're not supporting a family, I’d say yes. Absolutely. The pay may not be much better in the end, but it advances your career, allows you to learn more about IT, and gives you lots of opportunities. -scooby111
  • Sounds like you need to treat this as though you were going to become an independant - I'm Self-Unemployeed also -satanstech
  • just some info.. I live in cental MA, anyone from this area knows its as HMO homeland. The downtown area has a hospital that is larger than the main street itself. (Dead giveaway of city) hospitals come and go in this area faster than eggs at a TSC BBQ :) -neuman1812
  • Welcome to Worchester... dolla 25 please. :-) I loved living in MA, I want to go back. As far as the job thing goes... are you supporting you? Wife and larva? Living with mom? We'd need more info on your situation to really field this one. I'd say if all you have to worry about is you, take it. If it goes bad... how hard is it to get a job at $8.50/hr in MA? Last time I was in Boston that was the starting rate at McDonalds. It's well worth your time dude... if for no other reason than it's another notch in your resume's belt. :-) -Jerbear
  • 230. im bored
    I just re-read the entire acts of gord..im caught up on TSC, had enough of customersuck, build as many computers as i can with spare parts lying around...no work till tomarrow. i think i shall post random stories...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • You mean like this one?<runs to nearest LART shelter> -rokitt
  • hmm nope -neuman1812
  • Acts of Gord gets you 12 BOFH points. You can now cast Common Sense Lv. 5. -WildKard
  • And posting random stories becomes Acts of Bored? -Tekkie
  • Whats Acts of Gord? -CommanderData
  • http://www.actsofgord.com/ -ewspy87
  • 231. we're off the see the wizard...
    ok 3 random posts..I need a life..

    dives into lart shelter only to find egg shells everywhere, slowly backs away into the open

    dont go in there...its......its...horrible. If your going to any of the the BBQ's dont eat the egg salad! [By: neuman1812]
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  • :furious: -EggShen
  • You know... One of the things I like about TSC is that there aren't any of those damned annoying smilies attached to every post and comment like retarded punctuation. Not a one. There isn't even the option to add them (Thanks, Hawk!). Does this stop EggShen? Of course not. Pay more attention, dude! If you can't leave a rational comment, commiseration or bitingly witty reply built around a really bad pun, why do you think some stupid smiley will help? -Bioguy
  • sichten up eggshen... its a yolk -srteach
  • that should be "lighten up" damn fingers <walks away mumbling> -srteach
  • <thinking.. should have said "NICE REPLY" -srteach
  • ROFLMAO -RiffRaff
  • LOL @ Bioguy - and nice to hear from ya - where you been?. oh, and eggshen - just apologise to srtech will ya? -CommanderData
  • That was "smashing!" -lineswine
  • egg-selent -garwain
  • <Deep Suthern Accent> Ohm-A-let'n you git away with this'n<?Deep Suthern Accent> -ltu1542hvy
  • (Darn, Syntax error! Must not type gbefore morning caffeeine) -ltu1542hvy
  • All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put eggshen together again. </mother goose> -Starfury
  • Eggs-emplery pun! you deserve a standing ova-tion. Egg-shell-ent! -ecoli
  • Those goddamn eggs keep replicating! -billybien
  • Damn it Starfury! Quit stealin' my lines! <G> -Hellion
  • Someone's gonna eggsplode. -LaserGuru
  • Hellion: Great minds think alike. -Starfury
  • 232. made ya look!
    it was in the title and you still clicked on the link...

    now that I have your attention..go away. [By: neuman1812]
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  • No, you didn't. <g> -ThirdOfFive
  • Oh my god! My Eyes! -Bobsentme
  • *crosschecks neuman* -leonine
  • You're sure you're not an EU that snuck in here? -Mushroom
  • No Sonny, this is TSC, the kindergarten is 4 shops on. Doors to your left </ActsofGord> -lineswine
  • At least it wasn't "L@@K at these great deals!" [/ebay] -WildKard
  • what? what am i looking at? is it that? what? im gonna stop looking soon! </moe> -Harm
  • wait! .. did I miss it?? where is the porn?? hello?!?! damn! <walks away muttering> -ecoli
  • I didn't look. I had an underlingclick on the link and then read it to me. Then I got another underling to type in this reply (I can't dictate and listen at the same time) -Oblivious
  • 233. Nothing
    its sunday morning ...what did you expect..
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • "Yeahhhh... I'm gonna have to ask you to, go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. Yeahhh..." </Lumbergh> -racermd
  • I'm working :-( -smellystudent
  • Yea me to, i work Sat to Wed. 5am to 1pm. -EUSoulStealer
  • Working, but not busy. Been here 6 hours, 11 calls taken today. Between the 2 of us. Each call ~ 3 minutes long. Been catching up on www.little-gamer.com -paranoidepiphan
  • Working too... but it is my last day before my vacation -rockytech
  • wwwwaaaahhhhhh!!!!! in asia, i'm working 9pm till 6am... had just 2 hours of sleep (damn those CSI DVD's) prior. thankfully i don't take in calls anymore.... yawn...... right now its 0804pst. I Wanna go HOME!!! :P -CrystalMare
  • I expected to stroll off the bus into work half asleep from the tylenol PM I took at 4am. (stupid wisdom teeth) Did that. ...with a hangover. Had that. I expected the AC to be running full blast when I got here although it's like 60 in my office. Yup. Fairly typical sunday. Days that start like this can only improve. :-) -Jerbear
  • It's now almost 7pm and I'm still working. 7 day weeks for the next month or so, it's busy! I don't mind though, I get paid :-) -smellystudent
  • i woke up at 130pm est. -postal tech
  • Postal - it sounds like you're going to sing up a blues song... -lineswine
  • 234. Thanks ISP
    I have Charter for an ISP. The other day I could not get online, tried everything I could think of (reset TCPIP, Reboot, Unplug Modem, restet..bla..bla..bla) So I called charter, did the script monkey thing, got pushed to Tier2, tried a few more things. Said they would call back if they found anything... YA right I thought. Well today, no more than 24 hrs later, I get a call..seems someone in the neighborhood while cutting down trees, snapped a line..forgot to call the cable company about it. Anyway.. Thank you guys at charter! everyone was polite, and even the script monkey was polite and listend to everything I did.

    On a side note ..they did offer me a credit for the 24 hours of service, I declined...

    anyone else out there with similar stories? [By: neuman1812]
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  • it looks like a negative on similar experiences :P -CrystalMare
  • My ISP is great, as well. I have rarely had to call my cable company for any issues, and when I do, I do not get script monkeys. The guys I've talked to know what they're doing, and they're always pleasant and listen to what I have to say. Thank you to the cable ISP in the midwest that is NOT Comcast! :) -Jenzkind
  • My best support experience was actually back in the days of MicronPC. Wife's mobo was acting up, performed a battery of tests, updated BIOS, chipsets, tested RAM, etc. Called tech support and after the intros (name, serial, etc), he asked what the problem was. Said "I think my motherboard is defective and I have done the following to test it...". His reply? "You've done every test I would do and a few I wouldn't have thought of. Where do you want the new motherboard sent?" Total call took about 4 minutes. -virtualchoirboy
  • That sounds like when I called IBM...the HDD wouldn't let it boot. I called after I heard a little "whirrr! click-click" as it tried to read the drive. I called IBM and held the phone up to the drive while it made that sound for a few seconds. I asked him if he heard what I was talking about, and he confirmed that he had and asked where they should send the replacement drive. This was on a Friday night at 9, and the replacement arrived @ 9:30AM the following Monday. I'm sold on Big Blue for notebooks... -PaseoGuy
  • 235. Ray Charles Died
    http://www.canada.com/entertainment/story.html?id=c49f1446-e545-4772-bf4b-70637c4be7cb

    Great Singer, Miss YA! [By: neuman1812]
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  • that just sucks... -DedSysOp
  • Sad day for music. -SpaceGhost15
  • May you rest in peace, and enjoy the view that is now yours... -hkypipe
  • Yeah, I enjoyed his music. The Blues Brothers movie won't be quite the same from now on. -RiffRaff
  • I'm going to cry...he was awesome -Mufftuff
  • I guess Ray has completed his "Mission from God" and gone home <sigh> -BritishBunny
  • May Raven swiftly take his Spirit to the resting grounds of his Ancestors, and may he find there all those that have gone before him waiting with open arms. -Dragones
  • May wherever he goes have an open Piano, and a full tipping glass. -Bobsentme
  • Oh man... OK, who's going to be number 3? -scooby111
  • scoob i hope #3 is eric blumrich. http://www.ericblumrich.com read his site and you would know why. -SGTARKyTEK
  • 236. baby Hawk
    aparently there is a baby hawk. cute, non-starfisshy looking, and born with a god for a daddy.

    ALL together now

    I WANNNNNNT AAA NEEEEWWWWW HAWWWWWWK! [By: neuman1812]
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  • Those ultrasound pics are amazing! -minda
  • Awww..... (smiles) Ain't it cute... -Warrick
  • Arrgghhh!!!! - Beaten to the post, anyway the picture is a fake, as I've been checking, and what a female Hawk produces is a fine Egg...!!! - Anyway I suggest that the Hawks feed such a chick on starfish... -Wonko The Sane
  • "Eve" - splendid name for God's daughter! Nice size - not too big, not too small. Really cute. Congrats Hawk and Mrs Hawk you do good work! -BritishBunny
  • The correct picture of Mrs Hawk & her two offspring... http://www.peregrinefund.org/Explore_Raptors/media/digespic.jpg -Wonko The Sane
  • Wonko! That was just wrong! <bfeg> -RiffRaff
  • What a healthy-looking baby! She is so CUTE! (Don't let my kid see those pictures, or he'll want a baby sister for Christmas--just like he did last year!) CONGRATS TO HAWK! -snowcrash
  • Congrats to Hawk & LadyHawk on the beautiful baby girl! -Tekkie
  • Congratulations!!!! :) -bracketmonkey
  • Congrats! -Veinor
  • Congrats!! she's beautiful!! (and just for fun I watched "Luke walking" -totally precious *wiping tears*) -MamaTech
  • Whoops, shoulda sent that to Hawk... -MamaTech
  • Alright, Hawk! Congrats!!! -hkypipe
  • Congrats to Hawk, wife, and baby Eve! Just when you think you have it made...nothing but snoozing in a nice, warm, comfortable waterbed all the time...you get squeezed and shoved through this tunnel into a bright, cold, noisy place where everybody expects you to DO things. Those that manage to fully adapt to this, become the INTELLIGENT people, some of which make their way through life improving the world. Those that fail to fully adapt are called STARFISH. :D -Grue
  • Aww, cute -CommanderData
  • Congratulations Hawk! -ewspy87
  • Congratulations !! -CSurfer
  • Sweet! Congrats to Hawk, LadyHawk, Luke & last but not least Eve, from all @ Lineswines' lair. -lineswine
  • 237. F&*King Ebay seller
    if someone sold you somthing on ebay, and then neglected to send the item to you, and you knew their address was uscgaryAThargray.com, it would probably be a bad thing to mention their address on a well know Tech site where it could be traced.

    * This message will self destruct in 7 days [By: neuman1812]
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  • Of course not. -snowcrash
  • Hargray is just a local ISP though, from what I can tell. Not sure how this helps with LARTing. -DavidHM
  • And they outsource their mail services. Interesting. Banner: "220 Postini ESMTP l4_5_1c0 ready. CA Business and Professions Code Section 17538.45 forbids use of this system for unsolicited electronic mail advertisements." -namor
  • Having a similar issue on ACC (trading cards). Luckily, only other cards involved, not money. There's many marketing companies that LOVE to have addresses to send stuff to... -Zentar
  • Is it just me, or has ebay become a melting-pot for the scum of the universe. It getting to the point that I'm afraid to buy from anybody there. -scooby111
  • agreen scoob- there have been WAY too many " bad sellers" that take cash and dont bother sending the item. -Harm
  • I've been lucky w/ ebay, but never spend more than I can afford to lose just in case. Just got something in from ebay today in fact :) -Eloewien
  • (I know you've done this already, but...) http://pages.ebay.com/help/confidence/isgw-fraud-protection.html -virtualchoirboy
  • Of course, that won't stop us from trying to have a little fun... -virtualchoirboy
  • No Scoob, it just seems like eBay has become that large melting pot because of the relatively low skill level it takes to commit fraud on both the buyer and seller ends. You can bet that this is going to be a hot topic at the Community Conference a little later this month in grand New Orleans (anyone else going?) -BayouTech
  • Oh I can test out my new mailserver... 550 over quota what? -Phssstpok
  • The recipient uscgary@hargray.com had permanent fatal errors. While talking to 12.158.34.245: 550 uscgary@hargray.com unknown user account -Phssstpok
  • That's why you check feedback on a seller, scoob. -kman52000
  • 238. stress test
    If i wanted to say...stress test a system I have by allowing people to play games on it..eg..Ghost recon or UT2k4 what would be the best way to do that?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Um...let people play games on it? -Bobsentme
  • City of heroes. -scooby111
  • If you want to push the system as hard as it can go your best bet would be to use a burn-in tool like the module in Sandra, or Prime95 for computational speeds. As your talking about games, I'm guessing you also want to test infrastructure as well? As I'm dog tired and nothing thinking, I'd got for something like bittorrent... generate a nice big 2Gb+ file and set up a Tracker on the server then have all the clients hit the server at once... instant slashdot effect maybe. Although if you just want to see how many players the thing can support games are the only way to go as that's what your looking at it being for. -fearmyroot
  • So to test for games, see if you can find an automaton that'll play the game for you; put that on every client you've got spare, if it has a 'playstyle' setting move it as far towards 'psychotic speed freak' and let them rip. Wander around see if the clients are jerking. Before starting though make sure each client can handle the game with those graphics settings (bot match it). -fearmyroot
  • Morrowind. Still a resource hog -CarbonTetra
  • Carbon: Eh? Morrowind a resource hogger? Not really; only ever jerked when I told it to do insane res+all goodies on a GF2MX since I got a Ti4200 it was fine and the 5950U it's *achem* lush :) -fearmyroot
  • Set up a virtual machine first, and run the games in that. -namor
  • just wanted to mention that Morrowind isn't a resource hog. It runs very well on most systems. However FPS is still a dog. The reason? Voxels. Morrowind uses a lot of them. Possibly more than any other game. Video cards just choke on the sheer bulk of it. MW is an interesting world... but even with tweaks and patches and more mhz... it just doesn't run all that smooth :) -WildKard
  • 239. Recent grad
    I recently graduated from ITT tech.. the worst possiable school to get your IT degree from, after spending 3 years there to finish a 2 year degree I have had enough. On the last day of class when I took my Final, the computer was running wayyyyy to slow. I installed adaware and this is what I got.

    webpages.charter.net/neuman1812

    one image is approx 2megs the other is less but the quality is bad.

    this is why I hate ITT [By: neuman1812]
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  • Congratulations on matriculating! Is that a Win ME desktop in the pic?! -Tekkie
  • windows 2000 -neuman1812
  • I talked to ITT about some classes there. They acted way too much like snakeoil salespeople, and tuition was crazy. Congratulations on your graduation, though. -RiffRaff
  • One question. If you had enough money to afford ITT-Tech, why did you need ITT-TECH? </farking expensive> -scooby111
  • i was young and stupid, this was my parents choice, my mom wanted someone in the family to get a degree, I was the only one willing to go through the process, that Is why i went and stayed. Biggest mistake I'll ever make. -neuman1812
  • I almost went there but they lied to me about I could get financing on my own with my FICA score of 457 and made me go through thier tests and thier stupid tour. -Motient
  • That all? I've had machines with over 3,000 COOKIES ... much less the rest of the spyware. Had one customer complaining about the slow internet to a branch office - when I cleaned Wintools off, amazing, that ISDN line was MUCH more responsive ... as was the previously-infected machine. -ralphp1024
  • I don't know - I've seen Houston Ads that say "DeVry graduates do not apply" -satanstech
  • You have to learn to spell "possible" before you can graduate. Hmm, having a slight problem getting jobs huh? I wonder why..... -mccallister
  • I too hate ITT. I graduated almost 2 years ago and I'm still working at lousy cable ISP doing phone support. Thanks for nothing ITT! </rant off> -LARTprincess
  • I graduated from DeVry with a CIS degree and I'm doing entry level Helpdesk. -Starfury
  • Congrats on passing; seriously well done. To the people nay saying degrees from tech universities/colleges yeah you do have a point. That being said I think anyone with 3 - 4 years of IT experience should be able to eat alive any newly graduated person, be they from a 'Tech' school or a top flight university. -fearmyroot
  • Oh, FMY, now the noobs are gonna be lining up, yelling "Eat meQ" -Tekkie
  • "Q"? I meant "!" -Tekkie
  • if it makes you feel any better, I was planning on yelling 'eat meQ'. -Splunge
  • I went to New Horizons last year for a+ and network+, i figured a few letters after my name might help me get employment (it did, even though i have ten years of experience), worst mistake i ever made. Almost all the classes were bullshit. I would have been better off spending $50 bucks on agood study guide instead of $2000 on the class. -ewspy87
  • I'm sorry, Q is not available. Maybe I could help you? <eg> -ThirdOfFive
  • Hows the weather in Warchester MA? -YellowDart
  • for both the A+ and the Net+ i bought $20 (ech) exam cram books (+many years of experience), went for a tour of ITT, too much emphasis on how stuff looks and not on info. -DedSysOp
  • 240. Holiday

    Memorial day is a national holiday here in the states. I just want everyone to remember the men and women that died for us. Regardless of how you may feel about the war, and war in general. Today is the day to remember that people died for their job. My blessings go out to the family of fallen soldiers from present to past wars/conflicts. Anyone that is willing to give their life for another deserves the respect of a nation.

    Thank you [By: neuman1812]
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  • Amen, friend... Amen -srteach
  • It's also a day to remember those who survived... but yes, mainly for the dead.. -HappyCrappy
  • It's a day to remember all those people that gave up their freedom, their liberty, and their very lives to provide those same things for us and for our children. I, for one, am profoundly grateful. -scooby111
  • Amen -computerdoc
  • Day late, but... *sob*... God bless America... *sob* *sob* -Veinor
  • My wife and I went to P-cola to get some beach time in and check out McGuire's Pub. On the way to lunch, we stopped at the pensacola Veteran's Memorial. God Bless you Pa and Rob S, you are both missed. -Answerboy
  • RIP David Wieczorek -LaserGuru
  • "Those of us who pay the price, come home with the least" - that goes for any of the draft dodging politicians or the ones that "happen" to go no further than 3 states away in the National guard. -lineswine
  • 241. ya ..ya.. Im bored
    Poll!

    What kind of Car(s) do you drive? If you dont have one, what kind would you like? "try to be realistic"

    96 Toyota corolla black.. Not much to look at, but its got over 140k miles all from me. Does the job, no problems (im religious about the maintence) [By: neuman1812]
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  • Vauxhall Astra (Opel to the Europeans). Estate, silver, diesel, two years old. I do 40000 miles a year... it feels like I spend more time in the car than on the sofa. -smellystudent
  • 2001 Subaru Forrester. and it is Blue, the color is BLUE. -LordObsidian
  • 1997 Isuzu Rodeo 100K miles Gunmetal Gray and a 1995 Dodge Intrepid 230K miles -JoeLugian
  • Burgundy 89 Honda Accord 5-speed with power everything and a sunroof. 135k miles. Magenta drives a baby-blue 91 Toyota Camry 5-speed with 240k miles. Both run great. -RiffRaff
  • Damn. Too many problems with my '97 brown cavalier... riding the bike, currently - also pretty nondescript. -namor
  • 2002 Desert Sand (shiny road dirt color) Mazda Tribute. V6 auto with sunroof & 6-disc changer. And I'm VERY grateful every time I get 20 miles per gallon -nicky
  • '93 Chevy Cavalier (crappy looking but dependable for the 15 minute drive to work), '99 Plymouth Grand Voyage, Cannondale mountain bike -LaserGuru
  • 2000 Pontiac GrandAm in "give me a ticket" Red -BritishBunny
  • 2001 Ford Ranger, Edge edition. Slowly building and will be putting a 350 into my old 280zx -MightyMouse
  • 86 mitsubishi starwagon - 8 seater. five kids, whatchya gonna do, sports car it?:) i prefer my mountain bike though, just the kids dont all fit;) -timelady
  • Was driving 95 Neon, got my parents 96 Honda accord. Good enough for me. I'd REALLY like the car from The Road Warrior. -Starfury
  • 2001 Dodge Dakota. Red/Silver. -bert57
  • 83 ford ranger for moving about, and 2000 vw passat for the family. -jard
  • '99 Black Dodge Durango. -Rabbitt
  • A truly Canadian car. Made in Mexico, sold in Quebec, and driven in Ontario. A nice green Volkswagen station wagon. -TechOgre
  • '94 Pontiac Grand Am, metallic charcoal, 135K. In the garage, because it gets lousy gas mileage, '94 Chevy K1500 with standard cab and a full bed, fuck-me red, 146K. Hubby drives a black 2001 Subaru Forester. -pixel
  • '94 Pontiac grand am SE. It's been good to me except for my exhaust pipe rusting in half recently. -LiQUidICicle
  • '94 New Yorker, don't really desire anything newer since it feels and handles great, runs well, and gets what I consider decent mpg. -BayouTech
  • 2003 saturn vue -postal tech
  • Primary car: 1985 Ford Tempo, 5 spd, 2.3 liter, 22-24mpg (sister's car, but she's away at collage most of the year, and it gets double the milage of my other vehicle...) Hauler: 1972 Dodge Van, full-size, long wheelbase, 360 V8, 3spd auto, 8-12mpg -ThreeBucks
  • The Van is up fer sale if anyone wants it...right, that's what I thought. -ThreeBucks
  • '93 Mercury Topaz, silver, 109k miles. It's a major improvement over the old '91 Topaz (which was dying by inches) or the '82 Flaming Cavalier of Death (which I still miss)! -Tekkie
  • '99 Trans Am with all the extras except Ram Air. Fun to drive, but gas milage sucks. -Hellion
  • '94 Toyota Camry. 190,000 miles and still going strong. -scooby111
  • '98 Red Ford Escort Sedan. (That's right, 25 MPG BABY!) Keeps me from getting a ticket for Speeding....again. -Bobsentme
  • Dream Vehicle: '85 Ford Bronco, Full size cab, tires, and removable roof. Screw miles per gallon! -Bobsentme
  • 91 Dodge (Mitsubishi) Colt. Great on gas (thank God). -frito123
  • Wife just made me buy a new 2004 Chevy Silverado 3/4 ton crew cab pickup -YoYo
  • 1989 HOnda Civic. 190,000 on the clock. It's old, won't do more than 90kph (unless it's going downhill with a tailwind), but she's old and faithful. I want a newer version of the same car, I love my Hondas. (feel free to lart me for that) -Mahal
  • 1983 Ford bronco blue and white, 351 clevland, removable roof, BIG tires... To Bobsentme-> They are a dime a dozen in Kansas, you should look into it..Also have a 1998 mitsubishi eclipse gsx that(all wheel drive) not tricked out, but may be someday..has a 2.0L turbo...very fun to drive. -SFStrangler
  • 2004 Cherokee, and because of gas prices in So-Cal, I wish I had a Prius. -minda
  • Nope! Green guy here.<rant> Doesn't anyone realize that the US is too dependant on oil? Fuck cars! Ride public transportation and bicycles! The world is too fat! WTF are you going to do when the oil reserves are gone? Spoiled rotten fucking Americans!</rant> -billybien
  • God Damn! That Dodge Ram Hemi looks swwweeeet, though! -billybien
  • Slightly-modified 1999 Ford Mustang (V-6). Basically gets driven only in the evening or on weekends, as otherwise I'm driving the 1994 Chevy Astro AWD (van) for work. -Grue
  • kawasaki '99 zx6r -22000km - 260 kms a tank (15 liters) -CSurfer
  • Ugh...you had to ask? '95 Ford Taurus, ALL green :/ It actually makes this Tracker I'm renting enjoyable during the repairs. -ttech
  • billyb, I'd love to bike to work every day. Unfortunately, I have a 35 minute commute at 60mph twice a day. I guess I could take puplic transportation but that would make the commute about 2hrs. I Looked into moving closer, but then I'd either pay twice as much as I do or have to sleep with a gun under my pillow :( -Hellion
  • Plus, I like driving :) -Hellion
  • I Currently Drive a 1966 Mustang GT To work every day... bought it before i could drive and restored it the last 3 years -wazntme
  • '82 Honda Goldwing 1100cc -ReDon
  • Yo. Yoyo. Yeah, Right. Like the wife made me buy the Durango. -Rabbitt
  • 1979 Plymouth Duster. Weird Brown/Black/Blue colour. Dead. -KronK
  • Daily car is a 2000 Dodge Neon. Pretty dependable. I have a 1980 Fiat 124 Spider I'm restoring, hope to have on the road before summer is over. (needs a little body work, new convertable top. Doesn't have engine right now, I've gotten one out of a 73 Fiat to put in it) Right now I'm wishing for a Mitsubishi 3000 GT. Love to sup one of those babies up! -CelticTech
  • Brick-red '84 Toyota Camry with only about 170,000km on the clock. Most weeks it only gets out of the driveway once or twice -- my commute to work is 1.5km, and with gas prices now at 99.9/litre (that's just over $3/gal for our US brethren) I'd rather walk, even in the rain. But it sure does run well. -chazz
  • asphalt grey '03 Hyundai Elantra. I'm kinda partial to the 'Old' Hummer in Red (hader to see the stains left by wayward peds), but I'd settle for a tow truck (It's hard to get a good parking spot here most days). -Oblivious
  • 2001 Chrysler Cirrus/1984 heavily modified Trans Am/Company van -burrkiss
  • The Flaming Honda of Death is a 1991 Honda Accord DX with a cracked windshield, one working seatbelt up front, and too many bashes and dents. She leaks water, and the rust coordinates nicely with the brown paint. Unfortunately, I have to have a car...my kid lives almost a hundred miles from here, and it takes two hours by public transit to go approximately eight miles. -snowcrash
  • 88 Thunderbird TurboCoupe..T5, and everything but the sunroof. -NotMyDayJob
  • Car 1: 1992 Honda Accord LX 4-door. Car 2: 1992 Honda Accord EX 2-door. Both in excess of 100K miles, both run great! -hkypipe
  • '96 Word Windstar - Don't laugh. I need it for my wife in the wheelchair. -Necros
  • 1984 VW Rabbit 4 door hard top - purple, stock, over 230 000 km on it for the winter and soon I will have my 1980 VW Rabbit convertible, black with purple flames, interior slowly turning purple, over 180 000 miles on it, needs work, well both do but I LOVE my cars!!! -frprinterwiz
  • 2000 Mercury Cougar Check out http://www.precision-motoring.com/cougar_main.html I just put about 30 hours into detailing her for a show this weekend -Crashville
  • Funny you should ask. I don't, as of today. I was driving a '81 VW Campervan (Vanagon with the Westphalia package.) However, it is on it's second rebuild, and the fuel injector system has now gone and caused the darn thing to OVERheat (if these run too lean, they can get so hot they melt the pistons.) Instead of plunking more money into the pit (what would next go? The transmission?) I now need to buy another car and junk this one. Anyone got a cheap car for sale in San Diego? (BTW, for now I am driving the wife's '97 Town & Country minivan, but that leaves her without a car while I'm at work. Good thing I work the night shift.) -Captain Trips
  • 69 Datsun Roadster - 350k and a 99 Ford Ranger Extended - 50k -ecoli
  • 99 Saturn SL2 midnight blue w/all the options (got the floor model for price of the standard edition). 55K so far but now I walk to and from work (about 4 blocks). -redevil34
  • Bright screaming red 2000 Pontiac Grand Am GT. No tickets yet... -psychotech
  • 98 Toyota Camry CSX. But the car I want is a Trans Am. Hellion, if yours has wing doors - wanna marry me? -LadySharky
  • 81 Datsun Pickup 230K miles, mostly farm and I know almost every nut and bolt in it and a 81 Mazda 4X4 pickup. I drive the Datsun the most. Also have 3 BMW motorcycles, 1963, 66 and 74. 3 VW Vans, 60 panel, 74 camper and 75 (parts) 2 VW beetles, 63 and 67. Only the Datsun and Mazda are licensed and running. Might get one of the beetles going this summer. Dream car. My dad has a 1950 Bently that is sweet to drive, or his 54 flat head Ford sedan sounds just so cool. Toss a bag of clothes in the back and a bag of money in the trunk and hit the back roads. -Wolffarmer
  • Ummm, maybe it is not a 54 Ford, but is a flaty for sure -Wolffarmer
  • Don't drive, but what I'd like is a Jap import MR2 T-bar turbo. -fearmyroot
  • I had an '88 Camry that ran to 195k before I gave up on the mounting repairs about 3 years ago. I got it used from my dad, and he never put anything more into it that minimally necessary. Had it been taken care of properly, I would probably still be driving it. Instead or paying for further repairs, I waste most of my money on gas for my '01 Silverado. It's more comfortable to drive in MN winters and *way* easier to repair by myself. -racermd
  • Originally had a 1988 Ford Taurus wagon my family owned from new. Drove it into the ground at 403,000+ km in 2000 (blew 2nd transmission). Been driving a 1997 Ford F150 4x2 since. My next car will be a Subaru WRX STi to match my love for rallying. :) -Jay911
  • A blue/green L reg. (1995) Rover 600, 120,000+ miles on the clock...often does 100m.p.h. on my daily commute (if I'm on earlies, the motorway is THAT empty @ just before 6 a.m.!), going a bit rusty on one of the back wings, but otherwise sound. Just fitted a Kenwood 6027 cd/mp3/wma head unit (sweet!) -lineswine
  • Bedford CF2 gold van done out like a day van with sink bed and fridge (US techs think gmc mark 3 like the A-team van) although i have recently spotted an identical purple one with alloys and a raised suspension for off road so i may get both -freakclown
  • 95 Jeep wrangler 75k and until the other day when the clutch failed me nothing else on it had. I figure it'll last another ten years. The wife gets to drive the 2002 grand caravan since she usaully has the kids. -ewspy87
  • '03 Saturn Ion, silver. -soccerdude
  • I drive a Yamaha Aerox scooter.. but dream sweet dreams of a matteblack (no frills on the hood thx) Trans Am with a 5.8L V8 engine.. and no, no whooshwhoosh red ligt in the grille either.. nor odd green diode lights in the pedals either.. and definitely no wierd computer voices -shayera
  • 1995 Saturn SL1. 152K miles on it, still runs fine, gets 34 mpg. Reliable but boring, also uncomfortable for a tall fat guy like myself. Thinking of trading in for a Passat. Or a Toyota 4x4 pickup. Screw practicality! -thx1138
  • 2000 Kawasaki ER5, but I would like an MV Agusta Tamburini. Only $39,950 more and I can get one! -robbor
  • My wife's '01 Intrepid & my '04 Grand Cherokee Laredo. The intrepid usually makes the long haul to work & the Cherokee is for her around town. -Techleader1
  • My car: '96 VW Passat GLX, wife's vehicle: '04 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT. With 2 young children, had to do the minivan thing. Too much crap to carry on family driving vacations. -virtualchoirboy
  • 2000 Chevy/Geo Metro (a former rental car that I got a deal on). Would like to be driving something a little nicer and probably will in the next year or so... -Robster2001
  • My Current ride is a souped up Suzuki GSXR 750 Streetfighter conversion. Want to do the same to a TL 1000 or get a Moto Guzzi at some point. -Smegger68
  • Currently a 2001 Saab 9-5 2.3SE Turbo. I also still have the 1991 Saab 9000 2.3SE that preceded it - Mrs. Gromit won't let me sell it even tho' it's done 176,000 miles. She also still has the 1978 Fiesta I gave her 20 years ago (53,000 miles and it gets the garage - the Saabs have to sit on the drive!) - henpecked? Me? Yup.. -Gromit
  • 1984 VOLVO 240 Turbo sedan w/267K miles that my wife makes me drive because I wrapped my '88 Turbo Coupe around the front of a ford dually, pulled all the drivetrain/abs/ride-control out and put them in an '84 mustang notchback, then wrapped that around a tree stump. I'd LIKE one of my dad's '86 mustang SVO's, or one like this guys... http://members.aol.com/fourced/video/9.25_145-hi-res.mpg Dad would probably sell me one, but I'd feel too guilty if I wrecked a limited edition automobile. A 2004 Subaru WRX STi would be sweet, too. -VIPERsssss
  • 1999 Grand Prix GT, grey 90K miles problem with it is that it get up to 90mph without me realizing it... -DedSysOp
  • I want a lime green volkswagon beetle with yellow "Ambush Bug" antenne painted on the hood. -Mathias
  • 2000 Chevy Metro...My wife wants to get a bumper sticker that says "27 Mhz", just like an RC car. -Answerboy
  • 1989 Red Ford Fiesta. Named Hexadecimal. I LOVE my car -CommanderData
  • Oh, and it's only done 54k in it's whole life. Can't get above 95mph -CommanderData
  • 2000 Malibu 4-door with 108,000 miles on it. Still gets 24 MPG, not bad when you put over 500 miles a week on a car. -ralphp1024
  • Same as Nicky..a 2002 Mazda Tribute with V6, 6 cd changer, sunroof. Different color though, silver. Also grateful it gets 20 mpg, unlike so many other SUV's out there. -Bluetech
  • 2001 PT Cruiser. -QOL
  • 1998 Subaru Impreza. 4door... oh its white.. -rockytech
  • Fearmyroot, a buddy of mine got an 88 MR2--T-tops and all--for his high school graduation present. It was a supercharged one, and then some escaped lunatic put a turbo on top of that, shortened the a-arms and a taller final drive on it. Below 3000 RPM it wasn't much, but betweem there and its 7000 RPM redline, it was hell on wheels. I'd LOVE to have that car back (even though it wasn't mine!). He and I were driving to Boston from Maine when we were hit in it, rolling it 2 1/2 times, during which he punched out a T-top with his skull (wear your seat belt!), and that's why it's so badly missed. 'Course, I'd've been arrested several times over driving that thing. My current car is a 96 Pontiac Sunfire, bright blue, that is now running OK (with 143000 mi on it) after approx. $3000 of maintenance. I'd rather have my wife's car, a 2001 Hyundai Sonata w/ 2.5L V6 that feels like it goes like a raped ape. But it's hard to remember how hard my 85 300ZX Turbo accelerated... -PaseoGuy
  • Oh, and my dream car is a "Viper Red" Dodge Viper RT-10. Failing that, a new Subaru WRX STi would do nicely. I still miss my 300ZX Turbo with the T-tops...135 on a 2 lane with potholes and frost heaves and it stuck to the pavement like glue. *sigh* -PaseoGuy
  • I used to drive a 1965 VW Van, changed that for a 1972 Mitsubishi 2 Door Dodge Colt, i modified it for drag racing, when that crached i got a 1989 1.3 litre toyota corolla. Since i'm carless right now i'm saving up for either a 1993 honda civic hutchback or a mitsubishi eclipse :) -CrystalMare
  • 75 plymouth Grand Fury, and an 88 Isuzu Trooper... one for the sun and the fun. one for the mud and the crud... -HappyCrappy
  • 242. soul...man
    I just finished listening to "Three o'clock blues" by BB King and Elton John...gawd...the guitar riffs...speachless. I had no idea thoes sounds could be made on a guitar
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Hendricks is still king. -scooby111
  • Hendricks who? <Quickly runs his 23 year old self to the lart shelter/ Jimmy Hendricks Shrine> -Bobsentme
  • Isn't that Hendrix? -Hellion
  • <redneck mode> "I shure like dat Jimmy Hendricks!" </redneck mode> -billybien
  • Yeah, I know...JIMI HENDRIX!!! -billybien
  • Hell. If I could spell, I wouldn't be a techie. -scooby111
  • Sorry, but I feel Jerry Garcia could have blown them all away! (At least B.B. is still alive, though!) -Captain Trips
  • Try Steve Vai/Joe Satriani/Yngwie Malmsteen if you wanna hear "impossible" sounds made on a guitar. (Seeing Vai again later this year, seen the other two passim). -lineswine
  • try listening to preston reed then just seen him live on tv last night the man plays picking and hammer-ons in different rhythms over and under the neck whilst making percussive clicks and taps on the body and sounds like 3 guitarists and drummer at once -freakclown
  • Well, you know of the "two-handed tapping" technique as used by Eddie Van Halen? There is a guy called Stanley Jordan who uses this way of playing, applying it to Jazz. Go to www.stanleyjordan.com for more details. -lineswine
  • Frank Zappa was always top stringsman in my book ;-) -Smegger68
  • SRV -VIPERsssss
  • i saw lynch/malmsteem a couple of months ago and was much awed... -DedSysOp
  • BTW isnt 3 o'clock blues king and clapton?</nitpick> -DedSysOp
  • i saw satriani w/ bb king a few yrs back and have played improv w/ yngwie, [he's an egotistical prick]. i used to play more often but haven't touched my bass in awhile now. -omegawolf
  • I heard that Zappa hired Steve Vai because he "wanted someone who could play guitar better than" he could. And yeah, Stevie Ray Vaughn was technically a great guitarist, but all of his songs sound like the same damn thing to me, IMHO (no flames, please!). It may be tired, but Hetfield on rhythm and Hammett on lead is still my favorite combo. But that's just me. After hearing "Harvester of Sorrow" live... -PaseoGuy
  • 243. No military service for me
    Just got a letter from the recuiter, aparently he mis-spoke. Because of a medical condition I have with my ears (over 95% deaf in one, and enlarged opening due to previous surgery) I cannont join ANY branch of the service. The letter also included the military code stating this. dag-nabit! no nuclear larts for me.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Look on the bright side: No getting shot at either. (Offer void in Chicage, New York, LA, Maimi, Seattle, Sacramento, Denver, etc..., any other US city over 100,000) -scooby111
  • No going to other countries, meeting interesting people, And killing them? -Bobsentme
  • Ok, maybe this never occured to you, but if you hold the phone to your other ear, wouldn't you be much happier at work? "Hello? Anybody there? Guess not..." *click* Would sure do your call times a world of good. -Beeker
  • LMFAO @ scooby! -LeutiusM
  • LMFAO @ scooby! -LeutiusM
  • Ironic...the recruiters told me that I should just lie about my asthma to get into the military. Then I tried telling them then that I was a lesbian drug-addict and they said don't ask, don't tell and as long as I pissed clean, they didn't care about drug use in the past. -csatguru
  • I was in reserves (cadets) as a youth. There was a lot of drugs around. Pretty scary since this was AIR cadets. *wanders off singing 70's rock* -Zentar
  • 244. NE BBQ
    Im looking to get a New england area BBQ going(ME,NH,VT,NY,MA,RI,CT). I can get a lake side location, but because its is not my place, I need to justify it with a number of people. AKA: party Not gathering. unfortunally there is no Highspeed access, just dialup. But there is a private boat ramp, and a large yard. Overnight will be allowed, but you must bring a tent/ outdoor gear. I am not allowed to offer sleeping in the house. I do have some tents to lend. Please email me or write my message board. If you Email me please include TSC in the subject line or you will be spam-inated!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • uh sorry.. forgot to say where. Central MA area. Greater Worcester County. -neuman1812
  • how about including pa -Servo
  • if you feel like driving 6 hours..ok -neuman1812
  • Shoot - when I saw the title on the home page I thought it was gonna be a Nebraska BBQ. Sighs! -BritishBunny
  • 245. brain fart...
    ok im tired and im cranky...Ive just spent the last few hours installing windows 2kadv on a server, I have it set up as a domain controller. yet when I try to add a computer to that domain, I get the domain cannont be found error. The computer uses WinxpPRO. the server is set with all the default setting for a server (ip is static) domain name is "name.com" why wont the other computers see it? (crawls to medicine store for exchedrin migraine)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Um...because computers don't have eyes? <runs for lart proof shelter> -Bobsentme
  • Do what I do when trouble shooting my network. Just futz with stuff until it works. :-) Is something else on the network trying to set up the same domain? (like the xp pro box?) -Jerbear
  • if my eyes wernt so blury right now..i'd contragulate you for your direct and compeletly useless answer..you work for microsoft dontca? -neuman1812
  • In a word, DNS. Is the client machine's DNS set to use the server as the DNS server? Is it listed first? Does the server have a correct SRV record in the DNS database? Is the DNS server installed as a root server or a stand-alone authorative? This kind of question really needs to go on the message board. It's a lot easier to converse there. -scooby111
  • I'm gonna second Scoob on this one. Active Directory is an ugly beast that I have battled many times, both in college (as a learning scenario more than once) and in the field, and the #1 problem with it is invariably a DNS issue. -OgdenTechGuy
  • Don't forget to setup fowarding zones on the DNS also. -Wolph
  • 246. Update - Navy
    Just so all you know, I selected the Navy because, 1: Medical reasons prevent me from ever joining the marines. the navy has slightly lower standards. Mainly a weight problem..thats what you get from sitting in front of a computer all day. B: My father and grandfater and Great-granddad all joined the Navy, so why break the tradition. III: Because as mentioned, the Navy has a better IT infrastructure.

    Im not joing just for the money, while that was a factor (guaranteed job for a few years) the training, and the knowledge, you get from military experiecne, both personal and professional is what i was looking for.

    BTW the recuiter said as long as i pass the physical next week, Im in.

    gutta go lift some mountain due cans now.. (one..slurp...two..slurp...) [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Shoulda joined the air force </exnavy> -Gecko
  • I was in the Air Force for 5 years. Helped me get started back in 1987. I wish you the best of luck! -Troyer86
  • Well, good luck to you. I think I may be ineligible -- sleepwalking... -chazz
  • Could you send me a cruise missile if you get in. Er... UPS don't launch the friggin thing at me :-) -Jerbear
  • <Insert obligatory squid joke here> -RiffRaff
  • hmm i just thought about something..If i get the position i want, I will be located very near the "big red button"...hmmm now what was the Lat/Logitude of MCB? -neuman1812
  • Hey, the Marines will tighten that gut...trust me. But seriously. Some things your recruiter is not telling you. There are no true guaranteed jobs. Just preference. If the Navy decides they need cooks, then you are a cook. And don’t think you have a contract that guarantees it. You have a contract to serve and follow orders. Also you will be given tests and the better you do the more difficult the tests you will get to take. I really hope you are going delayed entry; so you can take those test as many times as possible. The testing can exclude you from your “guaranteed” job. If you don’t score well enough, you will be swabbing the deck. The reason you want to take the tests often, is practice. The only ones that count are the ones you take in boot camp. Ask your recruiter, and make sure that you are going to boot camp at the proper timing for your preferred MOS. Too early for the specific schooling and you will get reassigned. Just lessons learned from a Jar Head that thought he was going to get trained in computer programming and ended up driving an amphib-assault vehicle. By the way. Marines are Navy. Department of the Navy. -Year9595
  • Marines are just naval infantry. <Don't ever say that to a marine.> Year9595 is correct. All military contracts have a disclaimer about the "needs of the military". You'll get what you get, however, they do try to send you into your chosen MOS/AFSC/etc if they can. Hell, if the military decides that they need you in another branch of service, they can move you. -scooby111
  • Just think of the LARTs they will train you to use... (Big ones with lots of BANG!) -Wonko The Sane
  • Go Navy, beat Army!!!!! ex USN here, spent 14 years in, been out 5. best years of my life, got to travel all over the world and they paid me too!! Fair Winds and Following Seas -ViciousPenguin
  • Navy...Starfish...seems like this should have been the only choice. -mhesseltine
  • Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential? *ducks and runs* -Mephiston
  • Join the army, see the world, meet interesting new people, and kill them. -Fuji
  • You've got to like the Air Force's approach to war. The enlisted personnel stay at the base and the officers go out to fight. -Wraith556
  • NAVY = Never Again Volunteer Yourself. (ex squid) Actually I helped setup milnet back in the eary 80's. Which became the Internet and trust me I never saw Al Gore there! 8*) -DoctorTech
  • Year9595: I must take umbrage with your recent comments. Although everyone is well aware of the fact that the Marine Corps is part of the DoN, it should not be repeated in mixed company. And count yourself lucky. At least you got to drive the stupid target (LAV) instead of bouncing around in the back like a friggin' ping-pong ball for 5 F'ING years 'cause they overbooked your secondary electronics school 2 years in advance. *wanders away mumbling about his wasted youth* -Beeker
  • I'm with RiffRaff here <insert obligatory squid joke here> of course I married a squid when we met at a nice joint service school in sunny Monterey, Ca. -ewspy87
  • 247. POLL TIME
    Hey hawk, how bout adding a poll feature for star members? yaya I know theres one on the message board, but Im to lazy to make that extra click.

    Most powerfull computer in your house

    Dual 3.0gz Athlon Gigabyte Board, Server case with 2 450wt powersupplys, DVD rw combo, 4 200gb HDs, 1 firwire Lacie TB disk, 4 ghz ram. Mandrake (apache) and a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeeeee. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • P3 450MHz, 256MB RAM, 8MB VRAM. Ummm... 30G HDD. Anyone impressed yet? Oh, and it's a laptop. -ShiftedBeef
  • Only one in the house: AMD Athlon TBird 2200 512MB RAM 120G HDD nVidia GeForceFX 5200 video card w/VIVO, some cheapass motherboard w/onboard stereo sound and onboard network connector, LITE-ON 52x24x52x CDRW MSI 16X DVD-ROM. Oh and a 56k modem. My dad's got a better system, I'm jealous. -OgdenTechGuy
  • P4 1.8/512/40/R9600 Pro/XPH -DavidHM
  • TRS-80. -Answerboy
  • Almost the exact thing as ShiftedBeef only 128MB RAM and dual monitors. -VIPERsssss
  • ShiftedBeef: I'm impressed that your laptop has *almost* the exact same configuration as my most powerfull desktop computer. <Will work for hardware> -ThirdOfFive
  • Wow! That's one fast machine just to play solitare and check email. -scooby111
  • Oh yeah. AMD 1600+; 512MB DDR266; 60GB, 120GB, 2-80GB hard drives; Windows XP Pro, VMWare, Windows Server 2003, Exchange 2003. -scooby111
  • Athlon 2500, 1GB PC2700 DDR, twin 160GB drives, 32x16x32 CDRW, nForce chipset using onboard video (roomie's PC). Mine is a close second: Athlon 2400, 512MB PC2100 DDR, 80GB+20GB drives, ATI Radeon 9000Pro 64MB DDR. Very smooth for encoding video... -teivrann
  • I don't do powerful... dual p2-400, going in as linux box, currently shopping for case that will let me use my SCSI drives in hot-swap bays... -namor
  • Athlon 1800+, 1 gb ram, 3 harddrives totalling 140GB hd space, GeforceFx5900 with 256. And a 1 ghz Celeron w 256MB ram for a laptop -crackshot
  • I'm surprised no one caught this yet. 4 ghz ram? -Calydor
  • Oh yeah... and I WANT A NEW PAAAAAAARTRIDGE! -teivrann
  • P4 2.8, 200 GB drives in total (120 GB of that is in a USB enclosure because I'm too lazy to install it properly), 1 GB RAM, Windows XP. -BTcall
  • Xp2500+ clocked to 3200+, 1GB DDR 400 RAM, Radeon 9800 Pro, 180Gb Hitachi Deskstar. -paranoidepiphan
  • P4 3.0 Prescott, 1GB ram, 200GB 8MB cache HDD, GeForce 5950 Ultra (520Mhz), SB Audigy ZS, 1x dual fan 550W PSU and 1 250W PDU (just for the GFX), dual monitors -BoxOfFrogs
  • Ashamed to answer, because it's a ready-made and because it belongs to the boyfriend. -concept14
  • Xp2700, gig of dual channel ram, 80 gig 7200 rpm hard drive, radeon 9200 128mb. computer the roommates give me a chance to use xp2400 256 of ram, geforce something 64mb, 20 gig 5400rpm hd. -knothere
  • A whopping 486dx4/100 with an ASTONISING 2MB Graphics accellerator, 32MB EDO SIMM, 16 BIT SOUNDBLASTER PRO for awsome cd-quality sound! A brand new top-of-the-line 15 in color display and okidata color dot-matrix printer completes the set! All of this for a mere $4000! I am so lucky. -0110110
  • 773 MHz Celeron with proprietary GeForce3MX video, 64MB RAM and a Samsung DVD-Rom drive. Yup, my Xbox is the most powerful computer I have, though only by 100 MHz. -ScarletPimp
  • The most powerful system is: AMD Athlon64 3400+ 512Mb DDR-400, Geforce FX 5950U, 120Gb HDD, DVD-R/RW, 17" TFT. The slowest however is a P133, 32Mb RAM, 120Gb HDD, 24xCD-ROM... my server. -fearmyroot
  • Fastest box in the house is mine, my room mate's is reeally close though. ;-) Athlon 64 3000+ 768PC2700 110gb in hard drive space. Radeon 9600 and my SB Audigy *HUG* Her name is Gwen. Yes my computer has a name. My file server Big Earl is an Athlon XP 1600+ 200gb hard drive space 512PC2100 gForce3 and lousy onboard sound. My roommates box is the same except he has a gForceFX5900 and 256mb less ram. -Jerbear
  • P4 2.6 w/ HT. 512 Dual Channel 400MHZ RAM. Radeon 9800 Pro, DVD +r/+RW, SB live 5.1 60GB HD. SOon to be 2x250GB HD's, 1GB Ram, Radeon 9800XT, 52xCDRW w/ DVD drive. And possibly an external HD. -Bunglehawk069
  • Athlon Tbred-A 2200+; GF4 Ti4400; 512mb pc2700 RAM; 150gb total HD space. Server will soon be p2-450 (or -350 or -233, not sure right now), 256 or 384mb sdram, with two 18.2gb 10krpm SCSI drives. -renderer
  • I'm jealous as hell right now. P3, 20 gig hard drive, 512MB ram, similar level of specs on vid card, sound card, etc. Sigh. -Mahal
  • 2800 barton, 2gb 400mhz dual channel [corsair], dvd r/w, cdr/w-dvd combo, 9800 allin1der, 80gb, 120gb and the obligatory 250mb zip drive for all my systems. - it does the trick and i'm not building a better one for thext 18months. -omegawolf
  • Iv'e got one for ya. P2 333 128MB RAM Win xp no sound onbord vid. that is the only computer that works at this ponit in time. I'm building 2 p4 computers now. -rug
  • **sigh** I did comment privately that this year's computer geeks sound so much like last year's hotrodders that it isn't even funny. Ah, well... just in case anybody cares. P4 1.6 with 256M,60G, ATI Radeon 8500DV, 17" LCD. This is a dev machine, I don't have time to play games so I don't need bleeding edge hardware... Slowest machine? P75, 32M, S3 video on the motherboard, Gravis UltraSound, running OS/2 Warp. -chazz
  • Neumann - You have 4Ghz RAM? That sounds awfully like something a Starfish would say... -lineswine
  • xp 2600 + w 1 gb 2700 ddr 2 80 gb wd hard drives and a 128 mb mx5200 (I know, that card sucks, but I am not a gamer) It gets me by. -jard
  • OgdenTechGuy AMD never made a Athlon TBird 2200. That would be a Athlon XP 2200+ =) Mines a AMD XP 2800+ (OC'd from 2.08Ghz to 2.44Ghz 107F) 1.5Gig DDR3200, ATI 9800 pro (OC'd to XT) NEC 2500A 8X DVDR thats all the important stuff anyways. -YellowDart
  • DOH almost everything. 2 120Gig 7200 RPM 8Meg cache HDs in RAID 0 -YellowDart
  • The one in between my ears -- I am a wetware fan. -Captain Trips
  • 248. Last Resort
    After many months of deciding, and months of complaining from family and friends: I have decided to join the Navy. Since I (like most of you) are losing jobs due to out-sourcing, and the fact that i have no "formal" training in the field. I needed a job and this is it. I speak to the recruiter tomarrow. I have all ready passed all necessory exams, except for the physical. (not taken yet) The recruiter says he has the final decision tomarrow. Wish me luck, I need the Karma.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Good luck! Gotta love a tech in uniform! -Tekkie
  • Good luck! Keep us posted as best you can. -RiffRaff
  • good luck dude, and may you see sights far and wide, don't forget to spread TSC while your at it :) -CrystalMare
  • Good Luck! Just get everything he tells you in writing! -Bobsentme
  • Tha Kid is going into Subs -satanstech
  • I secdond Bob, get everything in writing, not that it will matter much to the military....also, just curious, why Nacy & not say Air Force...they tend to treat their people slightly better....good luck whatever you do!!! -Magenta
  • Good Luck, and as an AF vet, I have to agree with Magenta.... -hkypipe
  • Good luck to you...and GET IT ALL IN WRITING!!! 4 yrs. Air Force and 2 yrs. Army here. -Grue
  • Best of luck. Keep us posted! -teivrann
  • What Grue said. What kind of job you looking for? (15 year Army vet) -LaserGuru
  • Just make sure the job you want is the job you get......dont settle for COM head maintenance I, to find out that its COMmunications Head (latrine ) maintenance I. *lol* -Alathea
  • join the marines become a man, learn how to really kill a starfish. -postal tech
  • Why did you decide on the Navy? - 'Cause I didn't want to have to compete with the 'Best and the Brightest' in the Air Force. -satanstech
  • Best of luck, get it all in writing & whatever you do - DON'T VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING! (tee hee) (9 year R.A.F. airman) -lineswine
  • good luck!! dont sign shit till you get the job you want. (8 yrs army) -GefahrMaus
  • Good Luck! - And 1) don't trust the recruiter b) get it in writing III) It won't matter anyway because they can change the rules. (ex-Navy) -ecoli
  • Good luck! I have to say, if you are ONLY doing it because you need a job, you may very well regret it. There are several good reasons to join the military but money isn't one of them. But thanks for signing up to defend our country! -thx1138
  • Good luck! Most of my exes are ex-Navy men. -sassicatz
  • Dude, make sure to ask him if there are any bonuses for going into your field.. otherwise you might get screwed out of some extra cash. -kryliss
  • Actually, the Navy tends to have better IT schools/training. If you want to stay in the IT field then you want to go in as a Information Technologist or "IT". Make sure you get a guaranteed "A-school". They may try to tell ya to go undesignated and then you can pick a rate later, DON'T DO IT. If you go in undesignated then most likely you'll spend your 1st 18 months chipping paint. <10 years as a Navy tech> -Hellion
  • 249. You know your a geek when.....
    you go down to your local hardware store, buy the switch and controller that can be hooked up to your computer wirelessly, come home wire it in spending severel agonizing HOT moments in the atic fishing wires. Install the program on your laptop, so that you dont have to get up and walk the 5ft to the switch to turn on the ceiling fan.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • could have taken that 1 step further.......hook it to the A/C -burrkiss
  • way ahead of both of you. in my old apt, i had my coffee, ac, h2o heater and cat feeder all programmed. just so i wouldn't be interupted during thief and nwn. -omegawolf
  • Lazy? Who said that? -robbor
  • 250. Just passing...
    I was walking through the posts today, in the mery merry month of may, when taken by suprise, a pair of blue led eyes, its was the lacie 1tb drive!

    ok 'nough gloating..

    Im all flustered, give me a min..I'll give you a topic to discuss Startrek or Stargate [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Stargate sux! -phsspok
  • STARGATE RULE!!! -Bobsentme
  • stargate's coo', but star trek takes the cake as the most successful science fiction franchise ever. :) -Bynar
  • Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Star Trek (just look at my nick). But, I gotta go with Stargate on this one. No more particle of the week club! -ThirdOfFive
  • sg1, all the way. despite patrick stewart yumminess;) daniel geek yum factor too:) -timelady
  • How come nobody ever watches Gentle Ben? -CyBear
  • Saw the SG movie some time ago, just started watching SG1. I like...umm...both. -ThreeBucks
  • daniel??!? not! ...try mcGyver hmm metaphysics (oblicitory? mcgyver show reference) -neuman1812
  • Saw SG movie ona plane somewhere... couldn't figure out what was going on with the dreadful excuse-for-headphones they give out. Sort of left a bad taste in my mouth, and I've never looked at SG since. -chazz
  • I was 11 when the first episode of Star Trek aired & have been a fan since then. I really like Star Wars (movies & books), too, but SG1 is my favorite now! -Tekkie
  • Babylon 5 RuLeZ! -LaserGuru
  • Haha, Ra looks like a woman in the movie -mulder416
  • Yeah, mulder416, he looks just like my ex-sister-in-law, who could well be an evil alien! -Tekkie
  • SG wins hands down in terms of humour - star trek just can't do comedy (see ST:Insurrection if you need proof...) - the episode where Sam says to Jack 'Can't you MacGyver something together?...' has me in hysterics every time... -Shaede
  • SG1 does the job...Teal'C & O'Neil rule, Sam's kinda cute & Daniel is always the conscience.. -Techleader1
  • My absolute fave is Babylon 5, but Stargate is second. While Daniel is yummy, O'Neill is the guy who trips my trigger! -sassicatz
  • 251. new TSC PFY
    at work today..yes I worked after my shift yesterday, my boss tells me that, I need som extra help for a couple of months because of new product that is comming out (summer roll-out) He tells me that "mike" from the evenings will be helping me as my assistant. I know mike only from passing and from what little other people have told me. he comes in to greet me and what do i see!!?!? a shirt that says "star member" on the front with a nice little TSC logo. SO if your name is mike, and your about 19, and in central new England, please be carefull of my metal desk...I forgot where i hooked up the 120v line to it.

    * anyone know where i can find a cheap tazer and remote control? [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Dont't you mean 220v? -Coward
  • don't know if anyone else posted this dave barry joy about outsourcing: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/191195p-165268c.html -timelady
  • No, do not electrocute PFYs! Well, not unless they refuse to make you tea... -CommanderData
  • When I worked at ATTW$, a Tier 2 support tech also posted here. Now I'm working at TBC and know of two people on our "sister" desk in Colorado who read it. It's a small world after all? :) -snowcrash
  • he said "new england" -BoxOfFrogs
  • Oops, my mistake. -Coward
  • 252. F!@#$!#$!@$!@#$!@# rant NSFW
    (rant)Im FUCKING TIRED OF IT ALL!!! people pissing and moaning that i fuked their computers, people pissing and moaning that they cant get online cause the Adaware removed the 40000000 things that my computer needs to run, tired of manages that tell you to fit 5 cubit feet of books into a 1 cubit foot of space people who drive on a a 3 lane highway and see the construction signes 5 miles ahead of time but still insist on cutting you off at the last possiable moment forcing you into the hard shoulder shit faced "friends" that say you can cry on their shoulder any time, but when you need to they tell you to fuck off cause you forgot it was their mothers uncles brother nephews sistes former roomates birthday! IM TIRED let me sleep Ive been up sinse 3am its now 10:52pm..Im not going to try and figure out why your bonzi buddy is not readingyour email to you! get a fucking clue, you've come this far in life..READ THE FUCKING WORDS!!! its somthing you learned in kindergarden! ohh wait..you never learned! ARRRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhghghghga DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! IM ABOUT TO GO BOFH ON THE WORLD! you think they got it hard in iraq..just wait till a pissed off techi gets hold of the servers that control the Missel silos in america! you wanna real lart?!?!? how bout 10 megatons of thermonuclear warhead shoved up your shitter! speaking of the war.. fuck you all that say americans are "cowboys" out to kill everyone.. fuck you I dont care about your pissy little country with RAPE rooms and torture chambers..so you had to wear panties with a coller for a while... tell that to the 3000+ americans that died in a fiery building collapse.. take thoes fucking paties shove them up your ass and move on! Ive got more things to worry about than your right to not bein treated like a bitch! ARRRRRRRRGRRGR! (rant off)

    this rant brought to you by sleep deprivation, and the wonderfull people of debt [By: neuman1812]
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  • now that i got that out of my system..Sorry.. I just need some place to rant. Please dont let this turn into a war/antiwar flame post..Im just venting. -neuman1812
  • Can I make a suggestion? Get a livejournal account or something. Email me, and I'll give you a start-up code. They're wonderful, and you don't have to put "don't flame" messages on the end. Not that I don't mind reading rants, as I make them, but if you really have absolutely no where else to post it, I find livejournal a wonderful tool -Dragones
  • Or http://www.opendiary.com . It's fun, it's fast, it's free--kinda like the trial version of Bonzi Buddy in a nursing home! ;) Trust me, you'll feel better with a beer, some nachos, and a bit o' sleep in ya. *hug* Most of the world is made up of idiots--some of us grew brains and evolved into homosapiens technicalus. Just stick to your own kind, and you'll be right as rain in no time flat. -snowcrash
  • actually you don't need a code for lj anymore..they got rid of that months ago -marionette
  • P.S get some sleep :> -RTFM
  • AMEN!!!! *Raises Jack and Coke, gets struck by lightening* -redevil34
  • wow. you WERE pissed. you forgot all the <br>. heck, most of that i agree with on. -burrkiss
  • "Falling down" was a great fucking movie! -billybien
  • Never EVER justify a bad deed by another. -B2382F29
  • Amen to B2382F29! Just because 3000 died unjustly, that doesn't give us the right to kill over 20,000 innocent civilians (in a country that had nothing to do [as far as we can realistically tell] with the original attack) just because Dubya wanted to go after the man that threatened his daddy! (Documentable speach -- that was one thing he said about going into Iraq, even before 9/11.) Okay, I didn't want to flame, but as was previously said, one bad deed doesn't justify another -- and, although our troops are doing a good job over there, they shouldn't have been sent in the first place. Just read Pres. Daddy's own book -- going into Iraq was a mistake, because we now have to force them to accept a government we approve, instead of just having gotten rid of someone they wanted out. (Sorry, again, but I feel strongly about this. No offense to the servicemen who are doing what their country asked of them -- for that, they should be commended. It's just something the country SHOULDN'T have asked them to do.) -Captain Trips
  • 253. teivrann's story
    ..got me to thinking

    Percentage Accuracy : 45%
    Percentage Inaccuracy : 54%
    Characters per minute : 268 cpm
    Characters per second : 4 cps
    Words per minute : 49 wpm
    Words per second : 0 wps
    Total Speed status : Okay
    Overall Accuracy : Bad

    http://blackdog4kids.com/games/word/typing.html -- test
    Guess im not as good as i thought. safe for work (typing test)
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Accuracy 42%, inaccuracy 57%, 72wpm... WTF? I got it letter-for-letter, only a couple of mistakes I corrected quickly... huh? -namor
  • Gah, got 83% inaccuracy because I don't use double spaces. 60 wpm, 5 cps. -Calydor
  • 83 wpm, 441 cps, but only 36% accuracy. Odd. -DavidHM
  • I think its looking for hard returns. -phanatik
  • Ouch. 18% accuracy, but 296cps and 53wpm. Meh. I always proff red waht I tpye anywys, so it do'sent matter! -SwedishChef
  • Percentage Accuracy : 98% Percentage Inaccuracy : 2% Characters per minute : 150 cpm Characters per second : 2 cps Words per minute : 30 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Okay Overall Accuracy : Brilliant -flapjackboy
  • Percentage Accuracy : 60% Percentage Inaccuracy : 39% Characters per minute : 121 cpm Characters per second : 2 cps Words per minute : 24 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Poor Overall Accuracy : Poor -RTFM
  • Percentage Accuracy : 64%, Percentage Inaccuracy : 35%, Characters per minute : 220 cpm, Characters per second : 3 cps Words per minute : 42 wpm, Words per second : 0 wps,Total Speed status : Okay Overall Accuracy : Poor - I should have read the paragraph before typing because I normally average about 50 wpm. -frprinterwiz
  • Acc 25%, CPM=1950, CPS=32, I set the time for 20 Secs, and Cut and Pasted the text... and I still only got 25%! -Wonko The Sane
  • Percentage Accuracy : 42% Percentage Inaccuracy : 57% Characters per minute : 299 cpm Characters per second : 4 cps Words per minute : 55 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Bad -DracoSuave
  • No wonder kids are so grouchy... no matter how hard they try, it's still bad. -WildKard
  • Percentage Accuracy : 94% Percentage Inaccuracy : 5% Characters per minute : 312 cpm Characters per second : 5 cps Words per minute : 58 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Very, very good Yay! My morale booster for the day :) -ttech
  • Percentage Accuracy : 88% Percentage Inaccuracy : 11%, Characters per minute : 470 cpm, Characters per second : 7 cps, Words per minute : 87 wpm, Words per second : 1 wps, Total Speed status : Too Good, Overall Accuracy : Too Good - yeah baby! Pitmans pays off.. -Mahal
  • Percentage Accuracy : 56% Percentage Inaccuracy : 43% Characters per minute : 275 cpm Characters per second : 4 cps Words per minute : 52 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Okay Overall Accuracy : Bad -ab1normalh
  • Percentage Accuracy : 95% Percentage Inaccuracy : 4% Characters per minute : 311 cpm Characters per second : 5 cps Words per minute : 58 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Very, very good -burrkiss
  • Percentage Accuracy : 21% ; Characters per second : 12 cps ; Words per minute : 135 wpm ;; but I don't buy their accuracy because I made a total of two one-character typos in more than two lines of text. *shrug* -renderer
  • just did a copy paste 20sec Percentage Accuracy : 25% Percentage Inaccuracy : 74% Characters per minute : 1944 cpm Characters per second : 32 cps Words per minute : 354 wpm Words per second : 5 wps Total Speed status : You weren't serious Overall Accuracy : Very Bad -neuman1812
  • Percentage Accuracy : 66% Percentage Inaccuracy : 33% Characters per minute : 240 cpm Characters per second : 4 cps Words per minute : 45 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Overall Accuracy : Poor -DedSysOp
  • Percentage Accuracy : 96%; Percentage Inaccuracy : 3%; Characters per minute : 449 cpm; Characters per second : 7 cps; Words per minute : 83 wpm; Words per second : 1 wps; Total Speed status : Too Good; Overall Accuracy : Too Good. - Go Dvorak! -teivrann
  • Percentage Accuracy : 92%. Percentage Inaccuracy : 8%. Characters per minute : 350 cpm. Characters per second : 5 cps. Words per minute : 65 wpm. Words per second : 1 wps. Total Speed status : Too Good. Overall Accuracy : Very Good. (Uh, they're joking, right?) -snowcrash
  • Percentage Accuracy : 55% Percentage Inaccuracy : 44% Characters per minute : 285 cpm Characters per second : 4 cps Words per minute : 53 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Bad -jard
  • Percentage Accuracy : 2% Percentage Inaccuracy : 97% Characters per minute : 5848 cpm Characters per second : 97 cps Words per minute : 1054 wpm Words per second : 17 wps Total Speed status : You weren't serious Overall Accuracy : Very, very Bad -Torsades
  • Percentage Accuracy : 26% Percentage Inaccuracy : 73% Characters per minute : 309 cpm Characters per second : 5 cps Words per minute : 57 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Very Bad The only reason it's so inaccurate is because I correct myself. -ClueBat
  • I made ONE mistake and I got 57% inaccuracy. That test stupid. It says I type too fast (64wpm)... -csatguru
  • Percentage Accuracy : 25% Percentage Inaccuracy : 74% Characters per minute : 3900 cpm Characters per second : 65 cps Words per minute : 708 wpm Words per second : 11 wps Total Speed status : You weren't serious Overall Accuracy : Very Bad -postal tech
  • Percentage Accuracy : 35% Percentage Inaccuracy : 64% Characters per minute : 459 cpm Characters per second : 7 cps Words per minute : 87 wpm Words per second : 1 wps Total Speed status : Too Good Overall Accuracy : Very Bad making a few mistakes. its after midnight. but that test is stupid about mistakes. -CuervoM5
  • Percentage Accuracy : 17% Percentage Inaccuracy : 82% Characters per minute : 460 cpm Characters per second : 7 cps Words per minute : 83 wpm Words per second : 1 wps Total Speed status : Too Good Overall Accuracy : Very Bad - and I don't have any typing training, so I', not surprised about the accuracy -pmillipede
  • I'm not about to rely on any test that gives 45% accurate and 54% inaccurate... what was the other 1%? something in between accurate and inaccurate? -Shaede
  • Shaede: That one percent was when you fat-fingered two keys, one of which was the right one. <bg> -ThirdOfFive
  • Oh, and: Percentage Accuracy : 33% Percentage Inaccuracy : 66% Characters per minute : 315 cpm Characters per second : 5 cps Words per minute : 55 wpm Words per second : 0 wps Total Speed status : Good Overall Accuracy : Very Bad -ThirdOfFive
  • 254. Coffee bi%ch
    /rant/
    if you ever see a line at your favoriate coffee shop and decided that instead of waiting like everyone else in the line 10 or so, you decided to just go to the second counter and begin to place your order, dont be supprised if you get a verbal bassing from me that would make even the hardest gangbanger from hell's kitchen blush. I'm waiting patiently in line about 3min already and this bitch has the nerve to cut the entire line off saying that she will just go to the second line. There is no second line! thats why everyone is in the same line!!
    Approx Conversation went like this
    Excuse me miss, there is a line here.
    Just go to the scond line (said with a tone)
    You self-centered, egotistical, waste of air! If there wasnt as lady currently waiting in line and Im not refering to your sorry ass of a monkeys shit, I would drop you here and let you kiss the boot of everyone that walked by as an apology.
    (snoort) Wha?!? how dare you!
    (At this point she stormed out without her coffee) everyone in line clapped, and I got a free coffee.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • in case you brits dont know hells kitchen http://www.hellskitchennyc.com/ -neuman1812
  • See, LARTs work in food-service as well... -namor
  • I worked at a ice cream store that also sold coffee, And I hated it when I'd be the only one behind the counter and someone would cut line and try to get served first, when that would happen I'd just not serve them, even if it eventually became their "turn" -drachen
  • When there are alot of people in the commercial que for notebooks, some of my notebook customers wil call the server que phone number to get their calls answered next (they get bumped up in the que). I can tell when they do this because my phone tells me what queue the call is coming from. When I determine that the issue is not a server, transfer back to the notebook queue. They really hate it. I really hate cutters. -jard
  • i once was waiting to get a pretzel in the mall and there was a guy in front of me and a guy behind me. while the guy in front was being waited on this lady wearing one of the smocks that the people in the cosmetics dept wear came up and was looking at the different kinds of pretzels in the display and when it came my turn she cut right in front of me and started ordering. The kid behind the counter looked at me and then just started filling her order. I tapped her on the shoulder and when she turned to look at me she had a nasty look. I said "Don't think that because you went to beauty school that you have a real education and therefore the right to cut in line bitch!" The guy behind the counter and the guy waiting in line burst out laughing, we were drawing stares from passer's by and she decided to leave. I didn't get anything free but it was worth it. -ewspy87
  • gangbangers in hells kitchen-the westies, one of the meanest street gangs. -postal tech
  • I used to work at Tim Hortons, and it's amazing how bitchy coffee folks can be. its disturbing! -Zentar
  • Crazy..talk about taking a big risk with your lfe. I don't drink alot of coffe, but my co-workers do & I wouldn't anything to get between them & their java...this lady was lucky she didn't get dis-membered & devoured by that lineup... -Techleader1
  • 255. virus question
    Uh, just a question, this new virus "Sasser" what is it supposed to do? I have been reading about it for some time, but My computer doesnt seem to be infected with anything. could be I have autoupdate and AVG and Cookiewall all working, allong with all the spam fighting software i have :) just wondering? any ideas on how its passed? spam? or just a random hack of some sort.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Now that I'm running Linux, I LAUGH at viruses that attack Windows. -Bobsentme
  • Ok... Here's the skinny on Sasser. It comes in via IP port 443. It travels out via port 5554 as it sets up an FTP server on your machine to do that. The FTP server randomly sends the info via IP's. Thats the in's and out's. The stuff inbetween is this. The systems power management in windows is changed so your machine may not shut down or restart correctly. The virus then shuts down your computer either immediately, at the point you try to go on the web. It will infect restore files for System Restore, so just going back will not help. There is a fix from symantec that works pretty well. There is a bit of registry edit you'll have to do to remove the virus manually. -MaskedMarauder
  • Naw.... the only registry edit is to remove the run key..... There are 4 versions now, that each use a different port to attack your computer... so there is no user intervention required to get infected.... You just have be online without a firewall and have unpatched Win2K or XP. -Brf
  • The only question I have is: Can it hop partitions? No one has given me a straight answer yet... -ShiftedBeef
  • Believe it was through an exploit in LSASS, using port 445, actually... 443 is HTTPS. Don't know about any spanning drives/partitions, but they do try and replicate to random IPs, so it'll propagate to a network if possible, eventually. -namor
  • Uhhh...I've been using WinXP and Win98 through both of these biggie viri, and I have never had a problem. (ZoneAlarm and AVG on all PCs at my house.) -ThreeBucks
  • Running XP fine. Set up an unattended installation disk with all the security patches automatically installed. I have AV and use the built in firewall, and let windows notify me of any updates, and do the one's that look like they may be important. -ClueBat
  • Have you noticed that these virii (Blaster, sasser and other biggies) come out AFTER MS has a security update. Who ever is doing this is watching the updates and that tells them what to go after as they know a good percentage of people will not do the updates. Including large companies. imho. -Wolffarmer
  • 256. East Coast BBQ
    As it seems that Riff is going to be having a bbq on the 3rd, what I'd like to do is try to get one going on the East Coast. New-England Area. Looking to Web-Cam the parties together. I dont know about a location, obviously we would need at least a large enough place to hold a party, Internet access (broadband a plus) and maby a pool/lake nearby. I might have a location, but as its a family House, scheduling so close to a major holiday is tuff. If someone in the NE area is looking to try this Please Contact me (email in profile) If you have a place that would accomidate this please let us know.

    Thanks [By: neuman1812]
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  • Anyone else interested in scheduling a BBQ in your area on that day, please let us know so that we can try to coordinate all of them with webcam access. -RiffRaff
  • I've already taken July 2nd off of work and will be driving to DarthLuke's in Spokeane for the great NW BBQ. :) -snowcrash
  • July 3rd, eh? Any Techs in the Greater Toronto Area wanna look to a Great White North uplink BBQ? -MassiveTechs
  • And I think I could convince my roommates to host a Western Canada BBQ. We tend to have very unusual parties anyways... -teivrann
  • I think we need to have a get-together in Canada. I'm about 2 hours from toronto (london) , but maybe we can set something up somewhere between? woodstock, cambridge. That'd be cool -LiQUidICicle
  • 257. robbor got me thinking
    In the future, there is the talk of implanting chips in everone to monitor, health, identity etc... I would hate to be the TS for thoese chips.

    (caller) Ya, my brain just shut down and I lost all of yesterdays work...I need IT FIXED NOW!!!
    (tech) ok sir, looks like were gunna have to reboot your brain, what i'll need you to do is find the nearist hard surface and smash your head against it several times. When all the red liquid leaves the brain area, you should be all set.
    (caller) But i WANT A NEW BRAIN NOOOOOWWWW!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • mabe they won't realize they need a new one though! -Feria
  • Noit in my head. NEVER. *cries* -MrThou
  • I actually find the idea of ID cards/Biometrics quite scary. I mean we're already in a society where the general populance won't argue with technology (i.e. if your in a bank and the computer says "nope" nobody will argue your case or has the ability to override it if evidence points to it being wrong). Once biometrics are used which the sheeple belive to be 100% acurate in all circumstances without question we... are screwed; the system misreads your ID card or it becomes damage (bit rot?) bam off to prision you go for ID theft. -fearmyroot
  • It would give a whole new meaning to hacking. You could launch a dDOS against a whole population! Scary! -robbor
  • Can anyone say MINORITY REPORT -BoxOfFrogs
  • Bometrics don't scare me. I know that almost all of the first systems will be integrated with an M$ OS. Users will then be so used to things farking up that 100% trust will be impossible. -scooby111
  • you know what I find scary? people seem to be settling on fingerprint as the biometric ID of choice. Fingerprint readers can be faked out with a fake print made from gummi bears... -chazz
  • ooh! ooh! Can I have a fake fingerprint made of gummy bears? -Fireflower
  • Brain *shut down*? It would need to be running in the first place. That eliminates most starfish. -teivrann
  • just think of where the reset button could be. -omegawolf
  • Full biometric chip implant reset: go to your backyard, drop you pants, bend WAY over and hold REAL STILL - the black helicoptor will be overhead momentarily and install a new gov't-approved microchip in your ass. -Skylark
  • 258. I am not the tech of the world.

    (tele ring,personal line) Hello?
    Hi Neuman, its Aunty starfish
    uhh, hi *confused*
    I was calling cause I heard your good with the computer things
    uhh, ya I guess I am, just a question tho. How did you get this number?
    oh your mom gave it to me, hope that's ok?
    ya its ok (note to self: Change number and dont tell mom)
    Well i just bought this new computer (no...) from (dont say it) dell (NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!) and I followed all the instructions in the box, but I just cant seem to get it to turn on.
    (note to self: Kill mom)Well since you just bought it, your still covered under warantee, why dont you call the tech support line and have them help you?
    I didnt want to, cause they have thoes automated systems. Can't you just help me?
    I could, but since Im not an Authorized dell support tech, if I try to fix it, I may void your warantee. and then if there is a problem i cant fix, you wouldnt be able to send it back.
    (getting agitated) But your mom said that you would help me!
    (not to self: Kill grandma for having starfish kids)Like is said I could, but I dont want to void your new warantee.
    Please?!??
    ok...but Im going to keep it simple and if I come to a point that I think you should call support at, I will stop.
    OK!
    Check all the power cables and the power buttons are they all on/in?
    (anoyed) ya, im not that dumb
    Are you plugged into a power strip?
    of course!
    is it on?
    ummm...ohhh no! thats its the compters comming on!
    ok, sounds like your all set them!
    OHH thank you neuman! what can i do for your for your time>
    50$/hr min 2hrs (call lasted 7 min max)
    (laughing) How bout I make grandma's cookies for you?
    (not joking about price) that would work too.
    OK thank you, bye bye now!
    (click)
    you can send the money to....
    MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who else have you given my private line number to?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • OMG I would LART a family member to death if they gave my private number to someone to call about fixing something. If they ask ME to call this person that's fine and usually I will but... wow. *fires up LART death ray* -Jerbear
  • It took a while but I've managed to get people to stop bugging me about support. If your grandma doesn't want to pay the bill then the next time she calls you just put the phone down; she's a bad debt. After that they'll just leave ya alone... sometimes you've got to be a bitch. -fearmyroot
  • Send her to collections. I guarantee she'll never call you again. On the plus side, you'll also never have to hear from most of your kin. -scooby111
  • Good thing about me: I intend to give my phone # to my older Brother, Sister and my Father.. not my mother when I move out. There is a significant reason for this... My older brother and sister would understand as they've both been away from home for years, and Dad I could trust to keep the number protected if asked. -Warrick
  • My parents quote prices when they give my # out. -satanstech
  • I love t/sing for my parents and sister. My Sister because she's so funny when she thinks I'm bullshitting on the bad news, and I love my parents because they never talk back, and always accept the answer, "I'll fix it next time I'm over" when things get too complicated to do over the phone. They rock. -Dragones
  • yeah, had that happen at xmas! my mom volunteered my services to all the neighbors on the block. if i remember, there were about 5 of 'em. [keep in mind, i have no rt knee so i can't kneel down] i got dirty looks when i asked them to plug all of their cables in before i got there. - DON'T YOU *LOVE* FAMILY? -omegawolf
  • My starfish mother-in-law calls me at once a week about something, fortunately she doesn't have my personal line at work. She only calls me at home. -ewspy87
  • when i see a number i dont recognize or a blocked number i always ans the phone sounding if i just woke up, if it's someone dont want to talk to i just say i'll call them back when i wake up -DedSysOp
  • 259. New TSC member
    noooo not me. I just picked up a beta fish (begin beta jokes) Anyway, Im in a debate, I want you TSC members to vote on the name. These are my choices so far.

    BOB
    or 3.14159265

    ya..im a geek Start your voting now, The winner of the Best name will recieve a plain brown paper wraped package with nothing in it, postmaked postage due. Or at least their name next to the name of the fish. pictures to come at vote ending. Voting stops on 4/17 [By: neuman1812]
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  • Taking in to account twin peaks and your own suggestion how about Bob, the ROOT of all evil? :) I quite like it... not sure why :) -fearmyroot
  • Alpha Beta. -Tekkie
  • RC0 the late Beta? No, that's his name if he doesn't survive. Hmm... Steal a term from Wired Mag and call him Just Outta? -chazz
  • Call him "Phish." -RiffRaff
  • I cant go with Alpha,beta,pheta or omega thoes are my GF's phish. -neuman1812
  • BOB from "The Black Hole" or from "Tripping the Rift"? -LaserGuru
  • I'm w/ Riff.... I like 'Phish' -duckhead
  • Ghoti? -chazz
  • call him Ghoti. 'gh' from enough, 'o' from women, and 'ti' from election. -Splunge
  • Phish? A good band, but as a name for a Beta? How about "Tester?" -Captain Trips
  • Called my betta Bob... Bob the Bubblenest Builder... musta been something in the air @ work the day I picked him up. So Bob rates high on my list of suggestions :) -GeekGirl
  • 1 vote for Bob, from : -Bobsentme
  • Master. Master Beta. -namor
  • I once knew a fish called "Bob-dude", but he never came when I called :( -MamaTech
  • I'm with Captain Trips on this one...gotta love "Tester"... -hkypipe
  • Alpha beta pheta??? Pheta load letter -- wtf does that mean? -concept14
  • You could always call him Bill. Or Bravo. Just don't call him "Longhorn", I beg of you... -snowcrash
  • Or "Spot", like Data's cat on ST:TNG. -snowcrash
  • snowcrash, so far I like your ideas. Heres another one.. BFOD (Blue Fish of Death) he's blue -neuman1812
  • What does it matter what his name is, he won't come when you call him... and "pi" I don't get it, but I am up waaaay past my bedtime.. -obie099
  • how about postal beta? -postal tech
  • When I was in HS, my best friend won a goldfish from one of those county-fair win a prize stands. He named the fish 'Dead', because he figured it wouldn't live that long. 'Dead' lived for 3 and a half years. -Answerboy
  • Another good name for it would be 'Hulk'..since Beta fish tend to bulk up when they get angry. -Answerboy
  • What about RTFM Beta !!!! -RTFM
  • Call it Fluffy? -Bunglehawk069
  • Tester -maciarc
  • 260. Moment of Zen
    Outside in the rain today, enjoying a cigarette, and a bird flew overhead. I dont know why, but it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. its the little things in life that need to be enjoyed.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • It was beautiful because it was free. You get to go back to your flickering screen and listen to neeping. -scooby111
  • I've had an experience exactly like that! By exactly I mean different because the bird took a big dump on my head. -Jerbear
  • A bird? Try watching a 2 year old kick ass in battlefield 1942. That brought a tear to my eye! -Bobsentme
  • 2 year old? omg. that is waycool. -Gecko
  • Bob<- Im guessing you cried cause he beat you? <ducks 1942 lart><aims lightning gun for return lart> -neuman1812
  • My Zen moment was several years ago in the Arizona desert on Highway 93 between Phoenix and Las Vegas. It was night, and I pulled the car over and turned the motor off so I could get out and stretch my legs. It's the only time in my life I've experienced complete and utter silence. Words don't do it justice. -RiffRaff
  • Camping in the Sandwash Basin near the Colorado Wyoming Border. In the tent when when the whole palce lit up ... The tip of the moon just went above the horizon. Awesome. -Flexo
  • On my last birthday, February, about 36 F. Sitting in the spa, watching the sun rise, drinking coffee with Baileys. -CyBear
  • On top of a ridge in a park in Kent, CT. It might not have been *perfectly* still, but what a moment. Surreal in its perfection. -CTYankee
  • Waded out into the tidal flats about 200 metres from Vancouver Island, water still only up to my knees, watching the sun set and the full moon rise with nothing around me but water, and no noise at all. Probably the most (and first) spiritual experience I ever had in my life. -soccerdude
  • Out deer hunting this past winter...it was snowing pretty good with no wind. In about 4 hours of silence I watched the woods turn pure white under about 6 inches of snow, it was just wet enough to stick to everything (including me - I looked like a snowman when I walked out). -redevil34
  • Smoking something quite unlike tobacco, with some people I'd just met, naked in the great outdoors. -concept14
  • Driving to work in N. Ceentral idaho... up towards sun valley... the mountains became backlit by chain lightning in the clouds.. the feeling of the contained power and fury.. defies description -HappyCrappy
  • There was this one time at band camp . . . . -robbor
  • Seriously though, sitting on a hill in the Rift Valley smoking some "weed" and listening to Maasai drums and the occassional lion roaring in the distance. -robbor
  • Then there was this other time at band camp . . . . -robbor
  • 261. TCM
    soooo Im sitting here with my new ATI 9800pro video card..and I realize i got two screens and the card can hand that...so I say kewl... I hook up the two screens and extend the desktop..so far so kewl, so I pop in the Texas chainsaw massacare and put it on one screen, and put TSC on the other and ohh..shat..no ewww..o god..that movie..ahh owie..sick....
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • that movie was great. wasn't scared though. everyone else was jumping while i sat there -Bunglehawk069
  • Ooh! I wanna try that! someone wanna donate a couple 42" Plasma monitors? I have a GeForceFX 5200 VIVO (with the TV-out mirroring my monitor and routed to the TV in the kitchen) -OgdenTechGuy
  • I just bought the Collectors Edition for my Significant other. It's gonna be a gory easter. -Bobsentme
  • Wasn't Easter originally pretty gory, with the beating and the nailing and the GLAVEN! -billybien
  • I laughed my ass off throughout that film. -CommanderData
  • 262. huh..wahhhh?
    Just woke up from a coma. I tried loading TSC the other day and I got no response. my mind must have went into meltdown cause I re-installed windows on 2 machines and checked on at least 10 other computers. One word HAWK: Backup! i dont care if you were switching your servers somewhere else, buy a backup domain..somthing..anything!!! I'll sell you mine! just dont let it happen again. riff, magenta? you still there? DD? CD??!?!?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • <Raises hand> Yep. Still here, none the worse for the wear. One word, Dude: "methadone." <g> -RiffRaff
  • Ritalin? -Hellion
  • Conecuh Ridge Fine Alabama Whiskey the "official state spirit." -LaserGuru
  • <grabs the methadone> AHhhhhhhhhhh Sorry neuman, all gone now. *twitch* -burrkiss
  • BACK OFF IT'S MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSS! Finally have my fixxxxxx.... my fixxxxxxxx... -DracoSuave
  • <strokes browser lovingly as TSC is back up> -Bynar
  • because now the page CAN be displayed!! -Bynar
  • The scarest part was when it went to the default network solutions page Thought it was gone for good. -nm
  • LMAO, so I wasnt the only one who checked 12 hunnert-teen machines to see if it would come up on one of em. (Sign of insanity?) -FrontSideBus
  • 4 machines (work and home), 2 different broadband companies (mine and a friends at his house), called a friend in Colorado and had him check his broadband, 3 different dial-up companies. Then, I got serious.... and broke out the booze. -virtualchoirboy
  • Now me, I went to the Whois record, got a name and a town, then went to Switchboard and got a phone number. Startled Hawk no end to know he could be found by the likes of me <grin>... but now you all know how to do it. -chazz
  • To Quote Foamy: dude you really need to chill out, or increase your prescription man because you're freaking me out! -GeekGirl
  • Actually, I did the Whois thing also- I was gonna give him some more time. -LaserGuru
  • I also got the Network Solutions default page from my computer at work and nearly started panicing. I also just started a blog and put TCS in the links section, and a "friend" on mine who was checking it out dryly said that that link wasn't working. Finishing a 12 pack of Newcastle tonight before I start tearing into that case of Carolina Pale Ale that I picked up the other day. -ltu1542hvy
  • Here i was thinking netsol had highjacked the domain... I can get my fix! * puts away JD bottles* -Harm
  • 263. Rant On;

    To the guy that is attempting to sue me for $10,000, I have this to say to you. Thou art a infectious weak-hinged hempseed,queasy motley-minded froward rude-growing flap-dragon!

    Rant Off. (insult generated by the Elizabethian insult generator) [By: neuman1812]
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  • Details? What'd you do, let your dog crap on his lawn? -scooby111
  • no but it gives me an idea...molotov cocktail and goosepoop -neuman1812
  • 264. Fight!
    ok..maby not. In your opinion, what is the best linux distribution. Im looking for a version that can do a few things at least.

    Mail Server/Webserver(apache?)
    GUI Interface
    Ability to handle(host) 3dgames (Ghost recon/Unreal2k4)
    The distro must have the drivers available for Gigabyte boards, AMD processors, Nvidia drivers/ WD and Maxtor Drive, Firewire support and USB 2.0

    Sorry if this seems to easy to answer, Im not much of a linux geek, its part of a business Im starting, and I want the sever to be at least linux. The workstations will be windows. [By: neuman1812]
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  • Wouldn't any linux distro have all that - if one does, the others do, it's just a matter of... easy availability/build-in of the packages. Dunno about the others - mainly gigabyte-board specific stuff, Nvidia isn't quite up to speed on linux drivers, and dunno about USB2, though I believe firewire can be handled. Why *not* Windows, in this case? -namor
  • thought of using windows, but I realy want to start learning linux, besides i dont want to pay the business tax on windows licenses. More I just want to start learning linux. I guess somthing with an easy install/setup/learning curve would be good. -neuman1812
  • I just started with linux a short time ago, but the fedora core I'm learning on seems to be pretty good, easy install and lots of tutorials online. -bert57
  • Does the server itself require a good video card, or any special onboard stuff? will it be using the USB 2.0 or firewire? Otherwise, I think it could just be a headless server ... never played with those. -namor
  • good starter ones: fedora or mandrake. never go *.0 versions though - always get the *.1 or *.2 ones:) if you want to pay, suse looks very nice...I personally use debian sid(unstable), but thats probably a big leap:)mandrake suse and fedora have nice gui admin tools - i have a friend whos a linux noob using mandrake 9 for his server and everyday stuff, and actually manages to adminster it without needing my input too often..(usually pebkac stuff). honestly, with kde or gnome (i tend to lean towards kde for use as a gui environment for noobs - i personally love my black cli tool based fvwm environment), you'll be fine. email me if you want more discussion/help:) this sort of stuff is what i do, after all:) -timelady
  • No linux distro comes with full nvidia drivers, nvidia forbids it. Most distros do ahve enough to get it running (2d gfx, enough chipset drivers, etc, though often on ethernet), nvidia creats offical linux that are on their website. I use SuSE, its really nice -nm
  • the server will need at lease Firewire support, as there will be sever 1tb drives connected to it.....stop your crying, I know i dont need it, but i got a good deal. -neuman1812
  • Red Hat 9 is good dude. If you're looking for a good place to find distros, go to linuxiso.org, they have quite the selection of distros. -BigKahunaca
  • Not quite Linux, but I'd recommend FreeBSD for a server, or Debian... just my 2 cents. -GeekGirl
  • Yep, Fedora or Mandrake would probably be the best. -duckhead
  • Distro's are distros, for the most part isn't not like they build things wildly different (i.e. SUSE Windows, RedHat Windows) they all have the same innards and 9 times out of 10 all the bits are in the same place. Motherboard drivers are really an irrelevance as they all have the same parts on them (a KT600 based board is a KT600 based board) so your unlikley to encounter massive problems. nVidia do provide binary drivers for their cards, some distros come with them, others do not due to restrictions on the licesnse nVida distribute them under; however for general 2D pottering a opensource nv driver is avaliable, but it has no 3D capabilities. If this is going to be some sort of server though, graphics aren't really important; a lot of the games outthere now have downloadable linux servers that just run as a background process... -fearmyroot
  • 265. Ok more questions..
    Sorry bout all the tech questions...I apologize in advance. I will be getting a second cable modem soon (friend doesnt need it) Ive dont some reading but I cant seem to find a direct answer. Is it possiable to have both cable modems connected to one computer(router?) and increase the bandwith? This is including the fact that I call *harter and buy the second line.(2mb) What I have read so far tells me I cant, but the forums I am reading are about 1-2 years old. Should they be right..is it possiable to dedicate one modem to Upload and one to Download? basically having a 2mb line both ways? Thanks in advance. and if these tech questions are getting anoying I will delete them post-haste.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I've been told by a fellow tech that is is possible, but the computer has to have 2 ethernet cards and he said you need to have some sort of "shotgun" software to utilize bandwidth from both modems. I can probably get more information on it -sharkfin
  • Look into routers that do 'bonding' - expensive, but they can use two lines to aggregate the bandwidth. Heard of Netopia routers that do it, but mainly mentioned for DSL.. -namor
  • neuman1812, If you figure out how to do that let me know also. Keep in mind though that your ISP will probably charge you for a second internet account to add the second modem -FrontSideBus
  • I've never heard of that being done with Cable, but it's done with dialup modems. It's sometimes called "shotgun". It has to bond the two modems, and the ISP has to support it. -CyBear
  • Why? You'd technically get 2mb up and 2mb down at the same time, but what are you doing that you need that much bandwidth. Are you really downloading at 2mb while serving 2mb of data at the same time. Unless you have a nova-hot website, 512k upload should be just fine. Your cable line is capable of 10mb. Maybe it'd be better to ask the cable company about a 4mb or 10mb connection? I don't know, do they offer such a thing? -scooby111
  • Now that's a good one. Still LMAO over this. Sorry I had to. -THETECHFROMHELL
  • Cybear - it's called Multilink, and it's actually a part of the spec, if I remember right... bonding isn't. -namor
  • well Im already aware of the cost of the second cable modem. Charter charges a nominal fee for every modem at the same address. 59.99 (includes catv for the first modem) 21.95 for each aditional modem at that address. Im looking for the increased bandwidth becase I will be hosting games. GR, UnREal2k4 and a few others, at the same time. Multiple servers. At this time a business account (5-10mb) is out of the question for cost. This will be for testing purposes only. -neuman1812
  • There are routers that will take two broadband inputs from both Linksys and Symantec, if I'm correct. They cost in the $300-500 US range. I'm trying to get a demo unit in now to test; if I do, I'll let you know if you'll send me an email so can contact you. -CTYankee
  • Check your TOS before doing this, most cable and DSL ISPs cap maximum upload speed for a single connection to well below the maximum download cap. I'm on comcast with a 3 megabit up and 30 kb/s down(384 kbits I think). -Yaos
  • As a former *harter tech, that will not work because the system allows access based on mac id. At least that was the case before I left on Feb 19 of this year. -Darkwolf
  • 266. damn it all to hell!
    so recently my GF went to england with her mom. I wanted to go but could not come up with the money...anywho... She came home yesterday, and this is her story. It was raining, and her mom got sick. They were with a group. the day she got sick the group went out to visit Big-ben. There sitting in the lobby of the hotel, when the President of the college (college trip) comes buy and starts talking to them, she says well why dont you come have some tea with me. they agree since it was in the hotel. They go into the restaurant and the president sits down with another lady and they all begin to chat, halfway through the conversation my GF realizes that its Margrett Thatcher(sp?).....my GF and her mom had tea with the former Prime Minister of England. What did i get out of this deal? A teeshirt that says "My Girlfriend went to England and All i got was this lowsey teeshirt....."

    BTW: I missed the trip by $500.... [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Sounds like you had the same luck I did. My wife and I planned to go to London last year. Would've been great, me being a tube radio collector--would've had a chance to get some really rare sets up front! However, a little governmental department called the IRS put a monkey wrench in our plans. Took all of our travel money, almost down to the exact penny. And we didn't even get a T-Shirt! We got fucked good, tho..... -vacuumtubes
  • Awwwww you missed out on tea with Zelda from Terrahawks?. YOU LUCKY BASTARD!. count your blessings! ;0) -Digital Dogcow
  • Having "survived" Thatcher when she was the Prime Minister, let me tell you that it is you who is the fortunate one. She just LOVED yuppies & was determined to shit on anyone who disagreed with her, by any means necessary. -lineswine
  • Tubes? Don't you mean valves? -Fuji
  • vacuumvalves sound *weird*... -Tekkie
  • Kewl. Although I might disagree with her politics (what WAS that all about in the Malvinas-uh-Falklands) it would certainly have been interesting to have tea with one of the worlds (former) leaders! -Captain Trips
  • You do know that having tea with Maggy isn't something to be proud of, right? More like ashamed. -pmillipede
  • baring the fact that is seems like most of you disagree with her...its the principle....getting to talk with a former leader of a country...its still a story that you can tell people.. -neuman1812
  • 267. Poll:
    What is the Most you have gotten rid of with Anti-virus or Popup blocking/ ad blocking software? or combination of all:

    Adaware:2350 AVG:1200 (system I was working on not mine) [By: neuman1812]
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  • 20 spy/3 AV...mine. -burrkiss
  • Adaware: 381, NAV none -PaseoGuy
  • And it WASN'T mine! :-) -PaseoGuy
  • AV/12:96 and counting. SpyWare: 390 -Bunglehawk069
  • 1296 sorry :( and it was counting up to that when we stopped -Bunglehawk069
  • Adaware - 766 ( not my system however) AV - 5 ( my system:( ) -Harm
  • A lot of virii will infect every EXE file they see, so high counts (maultiple instances ofa single virus) is not unusual. THat said, I recall a machine I was hired t oclean which had 2400 instances of Klez on it, plus twenty or thirty instances of each of two others, plus a single instance of a third. And our main web server at one point had a Code Red and a couple hundred nimda's on it... -chazz
  • Adaware on my uncle's computer: 531 or so. Antivirus: I don't recall. -soccerdude
  • Over 10,000 spyware on one customer's machine. -OgdenTechGuy
  • AdAware: 518. A computer that was given to my girls from their grampa. Virii: 48. On a public access computer at work shortly after I came back from a week's vacation. It also had three chat programs installed, which is a no-no. I wonder where the virii came from?!? -Chipsterian
  • 801 spyware/mangleware caught by Adaware alone. -rockytech
  • I had one virus, Netsie (sp?) I think, that put about 2 dozen copies of itself in every folder that had the word "share" in it's name. That one was about 2300 files. But I had to get that one cleaned up manually because our AV software craped out. One the upside, my dad will never open an attachment he isn't expecting again. -TheBrain
  • AA:1450, about A/V: 29000+, from, I think, MyDoom.F -CTYankee
  • Stinger - over 7000 hits of the netsky.c@MM virus. Co-worker had one user over 9000. -kman52000
  • From just a quick glance I thought you were relating Yeti Sports scores. :) -Jay911
  • 268. What you think when your tired...
    I have figured out the secret to life..shsss dont tell the starfish...Long ago there was a great race, how they came about is no matter to worry about. This great race saw one day that they were bored, so they developed space travel, now this race being so great decided to populate a new planet, but they did not want to just put their kind there, they wanted to see the progress of their expermiment. So they traveled and found Earth.

    On this Planet earth they planted the seeds for a great race similar to their own. Similar genetic material, with small abnormalities. Now being so great, they figured that over the centries, the abnormalities would be "weeded out" due to selective breeding. But they were wrong. For you see one of the "abnormalities" is a conscience. The smarter of the race would breed with their kind, but because of this abnormality of a conscience, they could not kill the weeker, as is in other species. So you see people, weed out your abnormalites, make our original creaters proud. Kill the weaker(dumber), breed with smarter(techs).

    "The meek shall inherit the earth" Screw that, "The one who kills the meek shall inherit the earth"

    That is all go back to your desk jobs, postal..can i borrow a few..toys? [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I now have access to better toys than Postal does. Deploys Thermo Nuclear Lart. Awaiting Coordinates sir. -Dangermouse
  • Sounds like a Star Trek Episode, or south park. -Bobsentme
  • "The meek shall inherit the Earth...one meter wide by two meters long" R. Heinlein -CTYankee
  • Noooo!, you've got it all right up until "selective breeding" it should continue...................... and for millions of years everything went smoothly and the dinosaurs flourished just as their great reptilian architects had intended. The master race looked upon their works and were pleased, and thus they took their mighty seeding ships on the long journey home. However, passing the orbit of Neptune one of the ships collided with a small rouge asteroid, knocking it out of its orbit. By the time The Great Ones had initiated their hyper-drive, the small asteroid had collided with a bigger one, which in turn intercepted the orbit of a passing comet setting it on a course that would smash into the Earth. The Dinosaurs were eradicated. The intended mighty Saurian civilization was never realized, and the small stupid furry things The Great Ones had designed as food for their greatest of creations where allowed to multiply without proper control. The stupid furry things became dominant by sheer virtue of their weight of numbers and evolved slowly over the millennia into even more stupid things. So stupid that they would eventually have to invent machines to do their thinking for them. Being stupid however they would never managed to get this quite right. They were so stupid however that their faith in the thinking machines would be so unshakable that every stupid furry thing on the planet would feel an uncontrollable desire to posses one. When the great ones returned they realized the course of evolution the stupid furry things would follow & were horrified, they realized they had unwittingly unleashed a cancer that would one day spread across the universe. Their enlightened ethical nature prevented them from erasing the great mistake so they genetically engineered a Teacher in the image of the stupid furry things , whose influence would be so profound it would steer the embryonic civilization of furry things on the right path. Again they were pleased and returned home. The stupid furry things nailed the Teacher to a tree and went on to build the thinking machines anyway. The Great Ones returned once more and sadly shook their great reptilian heads. Clearly there was no hope for this species, so the 2nd Great Plan was devised. The Great Ones developed Windows, an operating designed to sabotage any chance of the stupid furry things ever developing their primitive technology any further. They were just about to leave when they realized that this was almost as cruel as the eradication their code of ethics forbade, so they invented Techies, shrugged said "Fuck it" and buggerd of home vowing never to come back. -Digital Dogcow
  • in the beginning, there was the amoeba, and it was perfect. it lived in harmony with it's environment, neither consuming or excreting more than would be safe, or breeding beyond what it's environment could support. Then, it MUTATED... </Dev-O> -ReDon
  • wtf have u been smoking? prepares Thermo Nuclear hydrogen fusion death ray lart -postal tech
  • yeah DD, dont bogart the goods, puffpuff GIVE foo. -burrkiss
  • 269. Query
    My other half will be crossing the pond for a week. I unfortunally will not due to financial restrictions. She will be part of a larger group. Any tech fancy meeting her? She will be attending all the tourist traps in london. I belive she will be flying into Heathrow Let me know if your interested. Please be gentle, she is a bit of a starfish.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • I smell SETUP here... Hummm -LowLevelFormat
  • As I will not be able to meet any techs there for quite some time, i figured someone I know could meet them...meeting by proxy -neuman1812
  • Much as I'd like to, I'm up the other end of the country. Plus it's best if I don't anyway, everyone who knows me knows I'm an axe-murderer. -paranoidepiphan
  • No, but if you want to send her here, I could use a GF for a week. -scooby111
  • You're INVITING the geeks to mack on your mate? That takes courage... -Mushroom
  • um thats a stupid thing to say, u must work for aol -postal tech
  • hey p tech just remember not all of aol techs are dumb.... :P -s0nix
  • ...just the ones who answer the phone. -billybien
  • Tell her to look at nelson's coloumb from the outside of the savoy hotel -maidtina
  • Sorry mate - wrong bit of the UK. -lineswine
  • 270. its 9:27 am now
    and Im going to a job interview at 1:30pm. Its at an AC moore (arts/crafts) nothing to do with computers, shipping and recieving. brute work, not much of a pay, and no computers/no customers. but its a steady job. Only good thing..the entire staff except for the store owner are college girls . May I borrow some good karma?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • *packages up karma, and FedEx's it to neuman*.... here ya go! -duckhead
  • <whips out Cleavers of Karma, dices up another starfish, throws the remains on a Karma Bonfire>Ve be zending you ze Gooden Lucken! Bork! Bork! Bork! -SwedishChef
  • <runs to Karma Bank, wire transfers to neuman1812> -RedSwingline
  • www.collegegirls.com this should get you pointers. <groin> -burrkiss
  • um thats supposed to be <grin> -burrkiss
  • damn Burrkiss talk about a Freudian slip. -GefahrMaus
  • Damn, burrkiss! I had to close my office door so people would stop coming in & asking me if I'm OK! I laughed so hard I'm crying!! -Tekkie
  • Ha Ha </Nelson> @ Burkiss -RTFM
  • <loads good karma into LART launcher> Incoming!!! -CelticSkyhawk
  • <looks for title to old Karma Ghia to transfer to neuman> -LaserGuru
  • Good luck. Hopefully none of them slap you! :) -snowcrash
  • Packages up crate of Instant Karma <...gonna getcha!...> -CTYankee
  • ok who sent the bad karma?!?! Im driving down the street and I stop in some traffic. My front brakes lock up and now my car wont move! run home, about 2 blocks away..call AAA and find out that my membership has expired, no money to re-activate, and cant afford a tow. The only car at the house is my bro-inlaws mothers that has a open fuel tank cover inside the car, and it barely runs. but he is currently in North carolina...with the keys.. So now my car is blocking a major road, at 2pm near a school..and I have no way to tow it..or make it to my job interview. Its days like this that make me look at a razor blade and remember the feeling of it last time -neuman1812
  • *chants and sacrifices a chocolate bar* -teivrann
  • they're still hiring here, it does mean moving to s fla though. -omegawolf
  • Uh...whoops. "03/05/04 1812, Neuman (neuman1812) CHANGE BAD LUCK TO GOOD ~crash" Yeah, that should help. Sorry! -snowcrash
  • <Opens a box of karma and takes a sniff>Phew! This is it. It looks like someone forgot to pack it properly, and it went bad during shiping. <g> -ThirdOfFive
  • *sends much karma, a few bottles of fine wine, massage oil.* If you mess this up well have to LART you severly. -Harm
  • we all aspire to the BOFH standard, what kind of karma did you expect? -Splunge
  • 271. New toy..(begin drool)
    64bit 3.0g processor, MSI K8T board, FX 5600, 1gig ram, 2(120gig)hd's Its my new Ghost recon/Ventrilo Dedicated server.
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • And you stole this from where? -Bobsentme
  • *drip drip* duh, where ken i git one o' them? . . . </dumbfounded> -goblin69
  • Odd, I thought the Athlon 64's were sub-3Ghz in speed. Did ya get the FX-51 or the 'lite' version? :) -fearmyroot
  • All this so you can talk whilst playing games? If you are that gung-ho, there is always the National Guard! *wanders away wondering how a student can afford such nice kit* -lineswine
  • HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO NEUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! -jamaal
  • Me=Geek=NoLife=MakeLotsOf$$$=Save=Buy kewltoys. Fx5600xt. its not just for me. I plan on renting the server for gaming. <dedicated server> :see previous post about opening new business -neuman1812
  • When you have the place set up, you know you're going to have to post pics, right? -scooby111
  • Wake me when they write 64-bit apps worthy of that kinda power. :-P -Mushroom
  • mushroom: i keep hearing that same reply from everyone. don't you think that the newer apps will need or even be built for that chip? the only reason i'm holding off from my new sys is because i'm waiting to see the benefits of pci express and the NEW 64bit chip -omegawolf
  • dont mean to be a butthole, but AMD does not make a 3ghz chip. they have the 64bit chips as follows athlon fx51 (2.2ghz) the current king of desktop chips. athlon 64 3000+ - 3400+ (all ranging between 2.0 and 2.2ghz) amd added more cache to the chips to boost performance. -putahtek
  • I'M with what alot of folks say....dont see the point. i have used 1.7ghz machines with 1gig of ram and my athlon 600 with 256meg of ram seems just as fast -SGTARKyTEK
  • Yeah, that 1.7 was probably a Celeron, if it was running as slow as an Athlon 600. That, or a Pentium 4... But then, Intel sucks ass as it is, and it's SO funny that they tried to cover up the fact that they copied AMD with that whole stack overflow protection buffer idea... -GothKat
  • SGTARKyTEK: lemme get this straight, your saying you can't see the performance diff between a 1.7g cpu and a 600amd? even if it was celeron, (i'm w/ gothkat on this), you should have seen something w/ 1024 ram. (int-vid or agp?) -omegawolf
  • I am building virtually the same system (Mobo arrives wed) Socket 939 (+ a bios upgrade) shoud allow you to upgrade to AMDs dual core processor when it is available. Sweet. -Flexo
  • 272. We are
    We are black, white, Hispanic. We are american, french, german, italian, russian, japaneese. We are your mothers, fathers, daughters, sisters, brothers and sons. We are young, old, fat, slim. We are lonely, sad, happy, stressed. We know how to speak, spanish, english, german, cantoneese, klingon, russian. We know Bill gates home phone number. We can program in, cobol, fortran, machine code, c, c++, basic, pascal, turtle pascal and binary. We know windows, macs, linux, unix. We can build computers out of paper machee and toothpicks. We service, telephones, computers, toasters, warp drives, satelites, refrigerators, hair dryers. We are students, teachers, help desk support, and managers.

    You command us, demand us, order us. You yell at us, plead for us, your scream, you neep you noop. You bitch, whine, complain.

    But in the end, we will survive, because at the end of the day, you still come to us for help.

    NOW STFU AND READ THE MANUAL

    Thank you, Have a nice day. [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • heh.. very nice -rockytech
  • this public service announcement was brought to you by http://www.ysati.com -goblin69
  • heh reminds me of the document which turned my entire universe upside down http://24.185.97.0:88/manifesto.html -DedSysOp
  • Thanks DedSysOp, I was looking for that. -scooby111
  • *claps Hard* very nice... now if only the fishies would listen.... -HappyCrappy
  • Neuman's not bitter. Nope. Not one bit. :~} -RiffRaff
  • http://www.pongomail.com/yousuck-ascii.html -Bynar
  • 273. Moved BOFH
    I move the story to the message board cause there's a new development !
    [By: neuman1812]
    Comment on Story

    274. ubersquirrel <----A history of.
    For all the squirrel stories lately, I thought some of you should know about this.
    http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~alarson/newspaperBig/66.html
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • BTW SWF -neuman1812
  • btw i m mwpm lmao @ u2 n ihop -burrkiss
  • Quick, someone buy burrkiss a vowel! -Tekkie
  • 867-5309 -burrkiss
  • 275. I need a lart
    soo...Im trying to post to TSC, but my username:password wont work. So I turn into a starfish and Email hawk. His response "it's case sensitive". Forgive me for I have sinned. Let the larting begin.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • LART...LART...LART...LART...LART...LART...LART...LART...LART...<remembers to pry finger away from trigger> Sorry, my bad. One probably would have been sufficient. -virtualchoirboy
  • (rokitt takes styrofoam baseball bat and starts tapping neuman1812 on the head)tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap,tap..thump,thump,thump,thump,thump,thump,thump,(gee, this is FUN!!)WHAM,WHAM,WHAM,WHAM,WHAM,WHAM,WHAM, POW!!! (oops, got carried away. You awake, neuman1812? neuman? You can get up now):D -rokitt
  • <Smacks neuman1812 with a sack full of burned out first-generation Pentium 1 chips> Go forth and sin no more, my son. <g> -RiffRaff
  • <grabs neuman1812 and stuffs 30 pin memory SIMMs into various orifices> Anyone need some slightly used 30 pin memory? -LaserGuru
  • ROTF. <swings TAC-LART at neuman1812> <Misses and hits virtualchoirboy> <virtualchoirboy's head explodes and splatters all over rokitt> <Baseball bat flies out of his hand and pokes Riff in the nads> <runs away laughing> -scooby111
  • TRAL....TRAL...TRAL...TRAL... <retracting LARTs applied by unsympathetic colleagues> {BFEG} -CTYankee
  • To Err is Human, To forgive is not TSC policy... <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <LART> <CRACK> I need a new LART... -Wonko The Sane
  • No worries here. I actually forgot about the IE char limit on posts once and emailed Hawk. Then I got brilliant for a half second and remembered it does that, so I emailed back with "nevermind, I'm a dork, sorry!" Hopefully I'm not on the S-hit list for that... -snowcrash
  • I'd LART away too, but I think y'all took care of the problem already. -JH
  • The paintball LART to primed up and.......... HEY - Who STOLE MY AMMO ???? -PsychoTecMonkey
  • *smacks neuman1812 with a bag of valencia oranges. They won't leave a bruise, but it'll remind you of your mistake* </Family Guy> -Bunglehawk069
  • ubersquirrel, sick 'im!!! -omegawolf
  • For this I sentance you to <rolls dice> 3 years of supporting <roll> Windows 95A & 3.1x with <roll> a static filled headset <roll> and a psychotic whiner for a boss. -fearmyroot
  • (Trips Scooby as he runs away, and stuffs both him and neuman1812 into adjoining dank dungeon cells) So, do you want Barney on the bigscreen for the next 72 hours, or would you prefer to be suspended neck deep in a pool of Cyrix coolant grease while listening to a badly dubbed 8-track of bad pr0n jazz for 72 hours? -TechnoVampire
  • *Locks neuman1812 in a room with a recorded phone call from MCB, on a loop* -CommanderData
  • <starts quivering on ground...after 3 hours of recorded MCB phone message>I'd rather be physically tourtured than deal with that again. -neuman1812
  • 276. UPS must die
    sent a computer to a friend of mine in Alabama..decent gaming system 2.4/1gigram/200gigdrive Ups just returned it "Damaged in transit" damaged is not the word.. The cd-rom was completly ripped from the sheetmetal frame 4 screws holding it in ..looks like it was hit from the outsite with a sledge hammer..pushed the cd into the PS, cracked the fan and heatsink for the cpu, split the video card into two seperate pieces (radeon 9800) HD looks like someone gave a kid a screwdrive and said have fun. Called UPS..they said...ohh sorry Claim will take 5-7 days to process and determine weather or not the claim is valid. I took a lot of pictures. Luckely I had it insured for more than the total value of the parts. (800 in parts) 1000 insurance. someone will pay..
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • oooooh. do post pictures. ;) -mousie
  • That's all you can do. Probably got caught in the cargo bay doors or something. UPS is actually pretty good about paying claims. -scooby111
  • I want pictures! I used to work for a monitor company and the way people would pack a 21" CRT was mind boggling..including no packing, wadded up newspaper, styrofoam peanuts, and cut up chunks of cardboard. Most of the time the monitor did not survive the trip in for repair. -Starfury
  • yup, doesn't shock me, they did that -Bunglehawk069
  • I've seen that kind of thing before. My boss was getting a new PC, and UPS basically destroyed it. At first, they didn't want to pay. But he kept at it, and they eventually coughed up more money than the computer was actually worth. (We were able to salvage the computer too. So now we have two new computers in the office, although one doesn't run so well.) -ThirdOfFive
  • I had a monitor arrive a year or so ago straight from the distributer via UPS and it looked like someone had shoved a mop handle through the box (and the picture tube). After a good fight, we finally got the insurance money to replace it (nice 21" monitor for the confrence room). I ended up salvaging the casing. With a little work, I now have a nice aquarium screensaver that people can't seem to get off the "demo" monitor. I have a keyboard and mouse mounted under it for show. -garwain
  • uhh i have pics if someone can host them for me..My server's gone kabloie. -neuman1812
  • From what I've found out: They load the package onto a truck. Then they take the truck to the hub. The hub then processes and sends the package to the fedex airport site. Then it gets loaded into large containers with other packages. Reverse process after it leaves the plane. How do I know this? We had a server that was crushed when FedEx dropped a container onto another one. Those things get pretty heavy. -Bobsentme
  • i can top that-when i worked for dell a customer didnt get a credit on a return. ups tracking said box was on a train that derailed all was lost due to fire-said that right on ups site -postal tech
  • But have you ever seen how they "process" the packages at the hub??? Worked in a UPS hub for 3 days and damned if I didn't see packages airborne more often than not. (Hey dude, catch....) -virtualchoirboy
  • I'll host the pics, got a couple of options. -namor
  • I used to work for UPS as a "Delivery Information Clerk" in NYC for a few months in '91. One day I compared the number of deliveries in my corner of NYC to the number of tracers that I had to process and determined that approx. 99.5% of packages got delivered on time with no problems. Unfortunately I had to deal with the other .5%. -ltu1542hvy
  • Gives a whole new meaning to the term "drop shipment." -Tekkie
  • Are the pics gonna be up anytime soon? -jackywebdesign
  • Did some work for UPS (customer service / dispatch) for a short while... we lost a semi (full) to fire as well... -outofcoffee
  • http://www.wizardslab.net/~riffraff/pictures -misterallno
  • 277. What do techs to when their bored?
    http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/
    Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!
    Turn down your Speakers if your at work...if not..CRANK THEM!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • does it just repeat ad nauseum? -mousie
  • AFRICAN SNAKE. SNAKE, SNAKE, OHHH ITS THE SNAKE!!!!! My 15 month old son cannot get enough of the badgers. I downloaded it to my PC so he can watch it whenever he wants. -TheSingingTech
  • G*d d*mmit, neuman!!! I just got that damn song outta my head this morning (the kids play it endlessly at home) & now it's back! Aaaaahhhhhhh! <thud> -Tekkie
  • MAKE IT STOP NOW MUST KILL BADGERS!!!! -Dangermouse
  • Badgers + LOTR = http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/25/ -virtualchoirboy
  • badgers?! BADGERS!!! We don't NEED no stinking badgers!!!! (hey! someone had to say it) -leonine
  • http://img.4chan.net/w/src/1075750148293.jpg -maidtina
  • cant believe you've never seen badger badger badger... -maidtina
  • Cute little blighters, though. -TechnoVampire
  • http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/25/ -maidtina
  • sorry VCB i'd due for my IV caffiene and missed your link -maidtina
  • I prefer: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/22/ ^^ -miharu
  • < Vidiot from VHF > We Don't need to stinkin' Badgers < Vidiot from VHF > Thank you weird al -PsychoTecMonkey
  • that is great, nothing like blaring that at home -Bunglehawk069
  • 278. where is my google?
    is it just me or has google..... changed? Im scared, i dont wanna lose my google!!!
    other google news
    He (vp of google)was quoted as saying that his company has sufficient funds to stay private and that "an IPO is not on my agenda right now."
    Whada'all think? should google go public? or stay private? or is this some kind of plan to get the IPO way up there teasing the investers
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • It went to http://www.booble.com (NWS) -LaserGuru
  • Private. Stockholders are easily spooked and make stupid demands. -thx1138
  • {{immature giggle over booble.com}} heeheehee. he said "booble". {{giggle}} sorry. simple things amuse simple minds. ;) :D ;) -mousie
  • I got something simple for you, right here! <BDSG> :-) -LaserGuru
  • Meh. Don't matter either way. Some stupid idiots are gonna lose lots of money, some stupid idiots are gonna make lots of money. I just want them to work right. -scooby111
  • I get Google Australia. I can't get just Google anymore, it always defaults to Google Australia. It'a conspiracy, I tell you! -robbor
  • yeah mine always defaults to google.ca ;p -discordkitty
  • 279. Comments/suggestions
    OK im opening up a lan/gaming center, Going into business myself. Question: What would be decent specs in your humble opinion for gaming systems. I plan on buying individual parts and building myself(pricewatch.com) I have a sizable (25k)budget specifically for parts, so Im looking for the higher end systems, approx 20. And one server.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • don't go all out, no use putting in a radeon 9800XT, buy a bunch of the lowest grade of P4 which i think is 2.0 right now, 512mb ram, and ATI radeon 9200, or geforce fx 5200. basic 40gb hard drive, 17in monitor, one basic cdrom, built-in sound card would be efficient for the starfishies. -LiQUidICicle
  • here man, if you want to save some serious dough, but these MB's: http://usa.asus.com/products/mb/socket478/p4r800-vm/overview.htm it has a built in radeon 9100, network card, and a soundcard for 110 bucks! Not that I'd recommend it for home, but for your business I think it would be great -LiQUidICicle
  • should I be ashamed that the "low end" system discribed is better than my machine? -drachen
  • should I be ashamed that the "low end" system discribed is better than my machine? -drachen NO. I have an AMD 300, 4 GB HD, 160 MB RAM, on a POS MB w/ built in video. -PsychoKittyB
  • perhaps an athlon 2000+ and a ti4200? -nm
  • The most important thing is to make sure you have good enough specs to run the games that you will be using and a little breathing room. Typically, that means a video card with it's own memory. You don't need the top of the line, but it should only be a step or two down the ladder. You'll also need a medium-range processor that can handle the load. An AMD XP 1800+ or better is recommended unless you want to upgrade in a year. You will also need 7200 spin hard drives at least. The're no need to get serial ata. For a monitor, I'd recommend that you go with some cheap 19's. You can get a KDS 19' for around $160. Whatever you do, the PC's will have to run the latest games with no obvious halting or you'll get the rep as a crappy place to go. Once you've solidified your rep as having good machines, you can let them slip a little because gamers tend to be loyal to a place once they get to like it. -scooby111
  • neuman: i was looking at 2200xp and ati 9200 video w/ 768 266ddr. the question is, do you give them access to a:drives, or could we charge them for the cd r/w? w/ the # of viri out there they could be easily inserted w/ front panel usb thumbdrives or floppies. we ALL know how maliscious kids can get. just remember what should be in the back of our minds CYA. you'll also need to check w/ M$ for liscencing agreements. -omegawolf
  • my original plan. asus, fx 5200, 2.6, 512, 17" flat. I know the screens would cost the most, but I can put together the systems for 600$ in parts. -neuman1812
  • make sure that whatever you buy, get the same specs for each machine, so that way you can make a ghost image of one drive, after the OS and all necessary software is installed, that way if some kid messes up a machine, you can ghost it in 10 min. -LiQUidICicle
  • KDSs are crap, but other monitors are in their price range w/ 3yr warr. Also, whichever OS you use, learn its security policies and lock those PCs down (so the hacker wanna-bes can't fark them up). Whichever # of machines you get, try to make them *all* identical and use imaging SW to set them up. -BayouTech
  • I would save a little bit of your budget for future upgrades and not get mobos with everything integrated. From time to time upgrade various components so that your machines can continue to handle new games as they come out. I second all comments about getting identical machines and using imaging software (Ghost is my fav.). Also, look into things like Deep Freeze or other configuration protection software to thwart those wanna-be hax0rs. -ltu1542hvy
  • We've got an AMD office here, and we're in the process of changing over to P4s. Seems that the AMDs just run too hot under reasonable load. I don't know if the newer 2200+ and up do this, but the 1400s we started with have been dropping like flies. I'd skip the flatscreens, go with CRTs; there is latency in the flatscreens caused by their 60Hz scan rate that will annoy the serious gamers. You've been advised to go with video not on the motherboard; I strongly concur. It's up to you if you want to even connect the front panel USB connectors; I'd be tempted to not do so. Don't bother installing floppies; you don't need them, everything comes on CDROM and those are even self-booting now. -chazz
  • you might save some $ w/ crt but going w/ lcd saves space and ac. thus allowing more systems in less space. you also might want to look into dimming the overhead lights down to about 80%, again for the power bill. don't paint the walls white. and if you're serving anything other than sealed/wrapped food and coffee, you'll need some sorta vendors liscence too. -omegawolf
  • He said flat-screen (CRT), not flat-panel (LCD). I have to agree that getting them all the same is important. I would probably shy away from the integrated components too, but most motherboards let you disable components that you don't want so it's not as much of and issue. I like P4's too, but they're just too expensive to justify. If you really want expandability, look at the AMD 64's. And I have to second (third?) the security lock-down. Deep freeze is a great way to make it all work seamlessly. One simple reboot and the PC is exactly what you imaged. -scooby111
  • IMPORTANT: read silentpcreview.com. You have to make sure that you watch out for the noise- just buying the cheapest hard drives, cd-roms, and power fans will bite you! -Coward
  • Oh yes, start a thread in the forum if you haven't already, easier to read all the replies ;) -Coward
  • im going to start a thread in the forums..please see there for more Info -neuman1812
  • For locking down the systems, look at StormWindow. Haven't used it personally, but a client does, and it's cool. It locks out ANYTHING you don't want a garden-variety user fussing with, but releases with a password, then logout/login, so you can work on it easily. -CTYankee
  • 280. Not a tech story..
    sorry about the Link Im still trying to figure this HTML thing out.. :) http://www.craigslist.org/rnr/23204433.html ---SFW The Ten Retail Customer Commandments

    For thoes of us that have worked retail before Credits go to BookBot on CustomersSuck.org [By: neuman1812]
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  • aahh a classic. Love the customerssuck, mrslugger has the cure for jaded bitter retail workers. "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers" -darkmayo
  • "we assume that you are not only WRONG, but festering, bloodless, rigor mortis-having DEAD wrong." i'm stealin' that!!! -DedSysOp
  • dedsysop: too late, it's been printed and taped to my cubicle wall already. it's the rigor mortis phrase that cracked me up. -omegawolf
  • Lessee here. Festering, Nope. Bloodless, not if I can help it. Rigor mortis-having, that's for stiffs. DEAD, well, undead anyways. I don't think I qualify. Since I've worked retail in the past, I was seriously in tune with the post. Now, if we could just get the Starfish to go along with it. -TechnoVampire
  • 281. Trekkies Unite!
    An old computer we have at work here is used to control the engraving machine, not much needed to run it. but it does have an internet connection so they can get firmware upgrades to the machine. boss calls and says that its running a bit slow, can you speed it up. First thing I notice..bonzi buddy..so i run adaware, he askes what Im doing..I told him that sometimes the RAM's dilithium chamber gets cloged up, so im just cleaning it out. His responce.."YA ive heard of that happening" and then walked away.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • "It was sunspots, sir! They caused a squirrel to hide a nut in the hard drive..." -snowcrash
  • I once sent the following email to a user who was asking when a LOS to Credit Bureau Interface would be ready: "...We have been working with their Senior Technical Analyst and have most of teh configuration of the Firewall complete (i.e. Initialization of the TCP/UDP protocol stalk, which requires us to bypass the Primary Phase Coils. This is something that should not be taken lightly, so we have to be very careful, otherwise a Singularity will develop.)...." -normntaz
  • Her reply was "Great, thanks". The VP's were happy and backed off. Of course, two years later, I found out that she is a Trekkie. Oops! -normntaz
  • Well, sir, when I was aligning the flux capacitor on the main board, I noticed the the Heisenberg compensators were a little out of line, causing a phase variance in the induction coils. I had to reseat them with a magnatomic inverter and then reinitialize the corbomite emitter in the monitor. Good thing I caught it in time, or else the whole system would have had a meltdown, and the hardware that's in there isn't compatable with nosmoke.exe. -TechnoVampire
  • man... i thought _I_ was a trekkie -crackshot
  • That was funnier than data yelling "OH SHIT!" at the helm! -Bobsentme
  • I've blamed hardware failures on sunspots before. 'Why doesn't it work any more?' 'I dunno, sunspots maybe? Couldnt tell you till we take it in to service.' -DracoSuave
  • Hey, Corbomite isn't something you want to take chances with! (/drawing to an inside straight) -Captain Trips
  • Fizzbin! -LaserGuru
  • God damn trekkies <Makes a run for Sol's LaGrange 6 and out of here>. -fearmyroot
  • Grand Fizzbin! -CTYankee
  • Uh, Root, there are only 5 Lagrange points. If you can find L-6, you must be in subspace. -Captain Trips
  • Theoretically, we ARE in L6... As the Earth occupies it! (So I've been told). -Dr Jerkyl
  • 282. Forgive me For I have sinned
    Currently the store I work at is undergoing some major renovations, I had labled the server room breakers as "DO NOT TOUCH WITHOUT CONTACTING neuman1812 FIRST!" this sign was placed over the breakers..so you had to remove the sign first, and then shut them off. silly me thought this was enough, wrong aparently when the contractor shut these off It was my fault the network was down.

    (ME)Forgive me father For I have sinned, it has been 3 days since my last larting (TSC)`tech support counsler` Go and BOFH, you shall commit no less then 3 forms of larting, or no less than 1 BOFH electrocution as your repentance. You shall read the entire BOFH archives with no sleep, and no coke. (ME) But Fathe...(TSC) ENOUGH, GO and BOFH, you shall be forgiven (ME) Thank you PRAISE to the almighty Trinity! Postal tech, RiffRaff, ComanderData! [By: neuman1812]
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  • opps forgot about all the angels of the court(TSC) it is you guys the keep me from grounding 220v on the contractors nailgun -neuman1812
  • A little nick in that nail gun's pnuematic hose will work wonders. -CyBear
  • It's ok my son.... say 15 Hail Simon's and LART the next starfish you cross, and all will be fogiven! -duckhead
  • I hate the retarded monkeys that do shit like that- I locked a flooded computer room and put up a sign on the door. I left for the day and someone just hands out the key for someone. Smart move, dipshiat. (zzzzzzt...) -Coward
  • I invested in a padlock to avoid just such contingencies. When the breaker box is locked and the only key is in your pocket, you can be _fairly_ sure that the breaker won't mysteriously turn itself back on. -KickahaOta
  • You can't stop stupid people from being stupid. There needs to be a greater penalty for stupidity. Maybe then people would start using that lump of fat between their ears. -scooby111
  • The problem with trying to make something foolproof is that they always come out with better fools. -Bynar
  • You are forgiven my son - say Two Hail Dogberts and Four Hail Linus. -CommanderData
  • FOOLS! There is no GORD but THE GORD! <end customer service evangalism> -CTYankee
  • Um.....Excuse me.....you forgot the Holy Prophet Krax.....do I have to remind you of the blonde bimbo and her rewindable floppy disk or the laptop with no power button? .....for I have seen the coming of the mighty lart and it was good....... -krax
  • 283. Because....
    Ok quick background..my brother-in laws dad has way too much money...he is also the tim allen of computers....(cue caveman grunting) MORE POWER!! he has just purchased a dual processor board with 3.0 chips 3 gig ram and 2 Lacie 1tb...(yes two 1 tetrabyte drives). He wants me to install the system....guess what he wants....red hat with apache. I asked him what is he going to put on 2tb drives his answer "Download the internet"..oh let the fun begin
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Dig out an old, old 9600 baud modem and let's see how long that'll take him. *BFEG* -Calydor
  • Wow! I bet that will play one killer hand of solitare. <Weeps at the criminal waste of hardware.> -scooby111
  • In all honestly I think there is more than 2TB of data on the `net. -fearmyroot
  • Even so. The 'net is a dynamic thing. The moment (if he would be able to do that, that is) he d/l the wholething it would be obsolete... -Dr Jerkyl
  • so basically he brought 2 1tb drives for the heck of it?? geesh!!! is he single?? {starts sorting blackwidow gear} ;) -mousie
  • Hear that you single male techs out there? All you need to win Mousie's heart is to be rich, and impulsive. -Chipsterian
  • hey numan.... i am gonna need an address to this guy.... :: sorts through wetwork gear :: -wazntme
  • 284. I be smart!
    Yesterday I got the chance to have my IQ tested... the local Mensa society was having a free testing day..well I thought..what the hell, last time I had an IQ test was in 6th grade. So I go down..take a few tests, answer a few questions. I thought I did ok, get a call today, my score was a 230 IQ ?WTF? I politly declined an invitation to join.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • That's sad that they cannot get their own tests straight. According to tests I've taken online, on a good day I can pass their minimum, and on a bad day I'll be just shy a few points. -CyBear
  • If you had a 230IQ your head would be like one of the aliens from The Island Earth (or the Mekon from Dan Dare one of the two). Personally tests for me bounce between a low of 140 and a high of 152... meh. -fearmyroot
  • You must have answered 'C' on all of the questions? -phanatik
  • I did one on the net, I ended with 196. Then I redid it after a while and now it told me it was 178. I don't dare to do it again.... LOL -Dr Jerkyl
  • I.Q., as I understand it, isn't a measure of how smart you are, but instead a measure of you capacity to learn.... -obie099
  • It's also a measure of your desire to learn. After a while, I get tired of answering questions like 'Why is a sewer cover round?' -scooby111
  • hmm. Why is it? -phanatik
  • The score depends on what grading system they are using since there are multiple IQ tests out there. What you want to look at is the percentile you end up in compared to everyone else. I think Mensa requirements are scoring in the top 2%. -Hellion
  • And oh,,, It's because a square one could fall/drop into the whole. A round one won't. -Hellion
  • LOL - Whole = hole. -Hellion
  • A lowly 147 here....sigh -CommanderData
  • Because if it was square it wouldn't fit the round sewer hole... -Dr Jerkyl
  • I've done two different on-line IQ tests. One had me at 155, the other at 138. I don't believe any of the on-line tests. -sassicatz
  • 147 when I was tested, many moons ago... -hkypipe
  • Sewer holes are round because that's the only shape that can't ever fall into the hole. -scooby111
  • Mine usually comes in around the 180 range, if the testers don't just shake their heads and refuse to answer. -TechnoVampire
  • IQ? Whats an IQ, is that when people line up outside an opticians? -RTFM
  • whooodoggee, 176 here on the mensa test. still somethin' tho aint it pa? yessiree -omegawolf
  • we actually had to take an IQ test to get hired where I work currently. They didn't reveal the results but I assume I passed since I got hired ;p -discordkitty
  • are you sure, discordkitty? maybe they were just checking to make sure you weren't smarter than them..... nah, there's no way you could be below them. -Splunge
  • 285. New Business
    I'm going to start my own business soon. It will be a small "mom and pop" style Computer repair place.. Not looking for anything big. Speciality will be putting computers into cars. Question to All the TECHs out there. I need a name. I want
    "Nuke and Pave"
    It will be me and a friend. any suggestions?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • If you are in a smaller city or rural area, choose a conservative name. If you are in a large metro, be creative and choose a name that reflects yourself. -CyBear
  • Data To Go. -DataSolutions
  • Obvious solution: Load the car computers with pr0n, then call your business Autoeroticism. -KickahaOta
  • How about "As if cell phones weren't bad enough." Sorry, nothing againts you or your business, and I wish you the best of luck. I just have a sore spot about giving more distractions to morons who can barely drive without them. -Hellion
  • I couldn't agree more *pictures Luser's trying to play CS and drive* -leonine
  • Well, if you're putting 'puters in cars, the first one that comes to my mind is 'Nuke and Pavement'. -Answerboy
  • My ex-wife and I used to own a small computer business back in the early 90's we called "Mousing Around." I like "Nuke & Pave", but it won't mean a damn thing to potential customers. -RiffRaff
  • Neuman, great idea. Like someone else said, gear your name toward your region... if you're in a metro area, something contemporary is great, but if you're in a more rural area go traditional. Putting a PC in a car? Should be interesting, by that I'm guessing you're in a metro area. -CelticSkyhawk
  • I like "nuke and pavement" It doesnt have to mean anything to customers.. I plan on running this business with the intention of treating customers, like you would want to treat yours. If they are idots...i will be telling them that. betting on how long I last are now open. -neuman1812
  • Nibbles and Bytes has already been done. -- In car computers? How about Crash and Burn? -scooby111
  • Neaderthal Systems. (see my previous comment on your whiteboard) -LaserGuru
  • what about Pebkac computers? Customers'll see the "computers" part of the name, and if they turn out to be supreme starfish, you can tell them you named the company for people just like them! -Bynar
  • There's always ID-Ten-T. -Bynar
  • 'Pakled PCs' , say you named it after a customer. Real techs will get the joke. -CommanderData
  • Call it IDMAT. When they ask you what it stands for, tell them it doesn't mean a thing. -KickahaOta
  • "Take a Number" -billybien
  • CD: "I want you to make it go" -Bynar
  • CarPuter -TechnoVampire
  • Become a star member and make your name Fish :) -Bunglehawk069
  • "Distractions R US" or "Now YOU can be a Florida driver too!!" (Substitute "favorite state" drivers... NY, Massholes, etc...) -spcadet
  • "Mobile Megabytes" has kind of a nice ring to it. -TheSingingTech
  • neuman, that's how my boss treats his customers, he makes them think they're the supidest things going, and he is the only person on the whole planet who could help them. Then, he turns down work, and tells them that it would be cheaper to buy a new pc than to pay him to nuke and pave (when all it really needed was a simple winsock patch) and they thank him, buy a new pc from him, he takes their old one and sells it for more than it's worth, and the circle goes round and round. Beleieve it or not, that attitude does work... -Spyder19
  • 286. sorry need help quick
    I know posting tech help questions is being frowed upon ..but Im looking for some immediate help. Anyone hear of a "SYS78.EXE" error? I have googled it and found nothing. Sorry again for the question, but I am kinda in a rush
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • If that isn't a typo and it truly is 'SYS78.exe' then it is certainly not a windows executable. It sounds like some specialized software package. -scooby111
  • Have you searched in the comp for that file? That can give you a clue. -Dr Jerkyl
  • havent found it anywhere... google or on the HD..did a search..including hidden and system files...AVG Norton Spybot and Adaware do not see it. -neuman1812
  • When do you get the error? Search the win.ini/system.ini/registry for any calls of that files, and see if it shows where/what it is. Delete the reference, and that may clear it up. -TechnoVampire
  • 287. Spyware-Pop-ups
    OK here's a goodie. Working on a CU computer. Their getting popups. Adaware/Spybot/AVG have no luck stopping them. Looking through the System processes I see nothing right away that is out of the ordinarry (but system processes were never my best anyway) is there a program out there that can "scan" your current processes and tell you what is popup/spyware software?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Well, you could scan the machine for each filename in the Task List, and see if any of it looks ... suspicious. -Calydor
  • I've never heard of one, other than google with the task list open. Ohh, and can you remove your auto-notification, it told me you were still on holiday :0 -fearmyroot
  • The windows "messenger" service can be used to send pop ups and can be safely disabled. That should fix the problem for you. -SwedishChef
  • Just went into msconfig... Under "startup" there were 3 blank entries being loaded. along with a multitude of other items that are not needed. BTW. messanger was already disabled. -neuman1812
  • hahahahha... oh wait.... where's the goodie? :-( -wazntme
  • if you can get online...try http://www.pacs-portal.co.uk/ they list all starup items and what they are. This site was great when working for 'H Poopoo'. -Karman
  • I agree with Karman. I use that website a lot for help with MSConfig startup apps. I've also downloaded Windows Task Manager for Win9x/ME and Googled any running processes I don't recognize. -RiffRaff
  • spybot should be able to do this google for hijackthis -nm
  • I've always just googled. -scooby111
  • I *know* Ad-aware checks running processes, along with a multitude of other things. -Kid
  • Hijack This should help. http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/files/hijackthis.zip -miharu
  • .., and for those of us woh read this page for FUN, please post these queries in the Help Me forum of the Message Board in the Members Area. Please -K1W1
  • K1W1, I have no wish to start any type of arguments here, but, I have noticed that problems posted in the main site are problems that many others of us end up having to deal with on a dialy basis. While the help me forum is wonderful, it seems to me to be based on problems that we seem to run into mostly on our personal pc's. And therefore have the privelige of having the time to wait for an answer. You have to admit, that the main page gets answered quicker than the help me forum. While I will admit that the help me forum is where these types of questions SHOULD be answered, the main page gets a quicker response. I will have to admit to being guilty of doing the same thing. But, I will also admit that I have posted the same question in the help me forum, and gotten a quicker response, and a more correct response from the main page. I apologize for doing so, but, in the same breath, thank the people who gave me the answers I needed in a pinch. Yes, this is techsupport COMEDY, but, it is still tech support. We post because we have input, usually it is humourous, sometimes, it is simply useful. Again, I apologize for not having every post I make be humourous, but, I also thank the other techs who have helped me out of a tough situation where the boss would have made me do a nuke and pave, when all I really needed to do was run a simple patch. The last thing I want to do is to alienate a funny, popular, (cute)member of our friendly little group, but, I think this needed to be said... I'm sorry... -Spyder19
  • Funnily enough, Adaware does ID the running tasks. Check the log when it has finished. BTW, the current version of Adaware is 6.181, and the last update was only a few days a go. Has it been updated? -Wraith556
  • try using CWSHREDDER -Bustedson
  • Also check out Doxdesk.com. It will scan to see if there is adware and tells you how to remove it. -NoblesDad
  • I just dealt with one that neither spybot or adaware could get rid of. Some crap from look2me.com was being used by windows even in safe mode. Each time I restarted the pc this thing would download more crap. I ended up having to boot to DOS right after running spybot AND adaware and del it that way. -FrontSideBus
  • 288. Roatan?
    (dons lart proof vest) HI all jsut got back from my Cruise in the western carribian (ducks first volly of larts) Gutta say If you get a chance to cruise on NCL take it (sidesteps hidden landmine larts) Congratulations to CD for winning the trophy..(peaks head around lead sheilding)hope you all had a good New years (runs screaming from onslaught of nuclear larts) As for the title... "Roatan?" 5 unused larts to anyone that can find it.
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • hotel line in honduras? (fires heat seeking lart) -Harm
  • Roatan is a Caribbean island about 35 to 40 miles off the north coast of Honduras in Central America. Do I win a trip there?? -mousie
  • Yes mousie. You won an all-expenses paid trip there. All you have to do is bunk with the dirty old man who's paying for it. <Pulls out wallet> ;) -scooby111
  • honduras is a bad bad place, and im never going again! Yes im bitter... and its because i got malaria wehn i went... -MrThou
  • <teleports behind neuman and bashes him with a 2x4> Dodge that! Seriously glad you enjoyed yourself :) And not a clue about the title maybe a hotel chain or a island... possibly the name of the ship you were on? -fearmyroot
  • mousie was right..its a small 2nd-3rd world island NCL has a port there. FYI:an acre of land costs $15,000us -neuman1812
  • 289. Christmass Presents
    sooo Im going on a cruise to the western carriban this coming week (we leave the 3rd) originally we were going to drive down (we=me+GF) MASS to Florida(miami) about 24hr ride(Ive done it like 10 times). Her Father did not like that idea so for christmass he bought us FIRST CLASS tickets on a direct flight! YES!!! oh also..yesterday my brother-inlaw his father and my GF took me to my first nudie bar! I know first one you ask? Not realy my scene..but it is now! My bro-inlaw bought me and my GF 15min in the champange room..(Im not saying what happend, but my GF is definatly bi)
    /ren + stimpy/ Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy/endR+S/
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • lucky son of bitch.... LOL -s0nix
  • now s0nix is he lucky because of the cruise or because his gf may be bi. -postal tech
  • if it were me.. both -kmonson
  • <Sings> Well the weather outside is frightful, & the fire inside delightful, no particular place to go, let her blow, let her blow, let her blow </Bing> ;0) -Digital Dogcow
  • Hey, wait a minute DD, you have the words to that song wrong. It's... oh, never mind... -CyBear
  • I wouldn't mind if LadyLineswine WAS bi, as long as I can watch <BFEG> -lineswine
  • Every man's dream....hehehe -AmdInside
  • its amazing how often one can think of office space here.. "What would you do with a million bucks?" "two girls at once" -kmonson
  • hehe! sounds like my 21st bday. boyfriend and another friend of mine each bought me a dance - at the same time! twas drowning in a sea of (amazingly) real breasts... -marionette
  • I just had to add this..its still on my mind.. My GF is white...but shes got the typical big but associated with black girls (begin Sir Mix-Alot)..the other girl just happend to be darker skinned also..it was like some kind of weird oreo -neuman1812
  • Double-Stuff!! -dobbin
  • nuttin says loving like being in the middle of a lesbian sandwich. (or bi-female) -burrkiss
  • 290. uhhh linux help
    Linux help
    New computer New RedHat 9 Disk. Nvidia 8881 MX440
    After Install (Basic Desktop) I can view all the processes starting, But then my screen shuts off (looses signle) Green --> amber V card good (used in other machine) Redhat Used Install disks before with no problems..
    Solution?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Don't use X. Works for me. ;) Check the logs, kill it and get to console, see the processes, etc... something's gotta give an indication. -namor
  • Run XF86Config again and it may work. It may be that the 440MX driver that ships with Redhat 9.0 is not working right. Download a new driver? -scooby111
  • boot using a rescue disk and bypass X and reconfigure. knoppix is a great way to do this - if card supported, knoppix will automagically configure. work out what knoppix thinks it is, and use that. -timelady
  • sigh...thanks for reminding me i am a starfishie too. -mellowfellow
  • I found on my system (dual-boot RH9/XP Pro) that if I started my PC up with the S-Video cable connected to the TV, X wouldn't initialize. If I unplugged the cable and restarted so just the SVGA connector was on, X would work properly. It was autodetecting too well, it seemed ... -teivrann
  • Grab the latest Mandrake offering. much more hardware support than you can shake a freezedried turkey at. its a branch from redhat, so structure will be similar, but it will handle the mx440 out of the gate. -foebea
  • 291. starfish are scary..
    I havent been able to read TSC since friday...today I loged on and back read all the articles...My Head hurts..if all these starfish realy exist...all that stupidity...I am scared...With some of the stories you guys/gals come out with I will never understand how these people(animals) function...Im serious here..with some of the stories I read I cannont understand how these people get jobs...buy computers..sign up for internet...even simple things..like tying your shoes..or eating with a knife and fork...My mind is in a daze right now...I am confused...is the starfish mentality getting to me? Im scared..I never want to be that stupid...
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • we wouldn't have a job without them, and most important, we woudln't have TSC -LowLevelFormat
  • On the other hand, LLF: Without starfish, we wouldn't NEED TSC. Scary, eh? -Calydor
  • Neuman -- remember there is that one starfish that was mentioned here who managed to stab himself in the eye with his fork... need I say more? -chazz
  • That is the most ellipses I have seen in one sentence since leaving the ISP world. -Mushroom
  • You ever wonder how many of our customers end up at least a Darwin Award nominee at least once in their lives? -MadAdmin666
  • probably quite a few are "Darwin's Winnners". e.g. my story about the people screaming about service interruption, when a large wildfire is only a few yards away. -Zentar
  • 292. Tech Help
    Question: Can anyone tell me where to find cheap($30-$50) DC-DC ATX power supplies or.. how to convert standard computer power to be powered by 12DC?
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • you mean like a step up converter ? -kennz
  • http://www.mini-itx.com/store/default.asp?c=9#p67 There is a power supply on this page. Is meant more for an ITX board but might work. -Wolffarmer
  • http://www.nextdaypc.com/main/cat/subcat.aspx?subid=6 -postal tech
  • Yeah, the mini-ITX one is pretty handy, I'm not sure if it could power a 'real' ATX board and full sized drives though. Couldn't see the other one. No cookies for me at work :-/ -fearmyroot
  • The CHEAPEST way is to pick up a modified-sine-wave 12V/120V converter. They're even available at Radio Shack ... Past that, you can check for 48V supplies at any MAJOR telco supply company. For 12V, try the ruggidized rack mount companies. Be prepared ... the 12V supplies I've seen are 400USD (yes, 400!) each ... RwP -ralphp1024
  • I would look for a 120VAC/12VDC power inverter and just use the standard AC power supply. There are small units that connect to your cig lighter. Or, there are larger units that install like a car stereo amplifier. -mhesseltine
  • The cheapest one I've found is $150US. http://mpegbox.net/ It's fairly low power (70W). -ThirdOfFive
  • 293. Three Words Only
    The Night after
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • So Hung Over -rockytech
  • Hair of the dog , its the only answer , I find Vodka & Red Bull works best , the perfect mix of sugar , caffeine and alchohol ;-) -Westgate
  • After what? -phanatik
  • Damn I'm sore. [oh, wait...] -Mushroom
  • Sorry about the soreness 'schroom, next time may I request lube? -burrkiss
  • GRRRRRRRRRR request=SUGGEST.....that totally changes the meaning. -burrkiss
  • Freudian slip, Burkiss? Something you want to share about you and Shroomy? -FistLaw
  • So it wasn't good for you? ;) (Ah, peaches, ice cream, rum--good smoothies in Casa de la Crash.) -snowcrash
  • Funny, I always heard it as "the MORNING after the night BEFORE." However, your personal life is your business. . . -Captain Trips
  • *THUD!* *falls out of chair after reading burrkiss' comment* "owwwwww..." -Wiser
  • Standing at the door to my shop, holding up my grease gun. "NEXT" -Wolffarmer
  • 294. First snow
    Its the first snow of the season in New england(northeast us) and every driver panicked.. all roads west of Boston have basically shut down to people being scared of the snow..its not even that much..and most of it has already melted! I guess the new MSCars are incompatiable with the Snow program... please update your software to get this patch.....arrrg!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Same here. We got just flurries and people drove like it was 10 inches of ice and snow. It was a very lite coating on the roads that the road crew didnt even touch. Was not even that slippery. -rockytech
  • People up here (MN) just go barreling on and crash into everything. -RePo
  • 'Barreling on and crash into everything.' Sounds like a good idea for a computer game! No wait, there already is . . um, several hundred. -robbor
  • In St. Paul everyone's chickensh*t until a day after the snow (when the snow has melted and the RE-FROZEN) and then continue to drive at 5 miles over the speed limit, wheeeeeee acedents! -nm
  • I live in St. Paul too. It snows for six months every year up here, so you'd think people would remember how to drive in it. But the first snowfall always seems like a brand-new experience to MN drivers. -thx1138
  • Bloomington, MN here... I third this. Every time there's precipitation of *any* kind, people slow down. While it's generally a good idea, some take it to extremes and actually cause crashes because people are trying to get past them. Advice: STAY OFF THE ROADS if you think it's too dangerous to travel with the flow of traffic. -racermd
  • Former Iron Ranger here... Its only the Twink (mis-spelled on purpose) Citiites that forget how to drive on snow- up north, since you bastards bogart all the highway money, we get much more time spent without 10 lbs of salt/sand per sq inch (sq acre, up north) of roadway, so quit yer starfishy neeping about it. -HappyCrappy
  • It only snows once every eight to ten years down here in southern SC. You guys think people freak out in your neck of the woods. Ha! -ArnaldTPants
  • I'm originally from PA, (currently in Louisiana). I love it when they close the schools down *the night before* due to 'threat of icy conditions'. -Answerboy
  • 295. t-day phun
    Not a tech story..but jsut as bad. My g-friends father decided to deep fry the turkey this year. Started ok..oil to 350, turkey on a metal stake..then he went to put it in the pot..now I dont know how many of you have fried things before,,but If you put somthing cold into frying oil Fast..the oil.."explodes"..well he put(dropped) a 20pd turkey into frying oil realy fast...he is now in the Hosiptal with 1st and 2nd degree burns on his hands and legs .... His only saving grace..his son just returned from training in the army as a Medic... BTW..my girl-friend and I still cant stop laughing..
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I've saw on TV once two 'good old boys' doing fried turkeys. The pot was 90% full of oil so when the dropped the turkey in out came a flood of oil..onto the propane burner. While they stood there watching the oil fire one said "At least we still have salad" -Starfury
  • Ouch! -TheSingingTech
  • This is the third turkey frying incident I've heard about today. A guy burned down his garage trying to do this, and a mother/daughter team dropped the turkey in and splashed hot oil on themselves as well. I think the wrong "turkeys" were being cooked. :D -SwedishChef
  • Deep fried turkey!!! That sound really healthy, not! -robbor
  • Sorry, should be 'sounds really healthy'. Shud pruf reed! -robbor
  • Here's another for your collection, Chef.. a family here in OR has been using their fryer on the wooden, covered patio (WTF??) for years with no incident. This time the oil bubbled over, melted the propane lines and took out the second story and the back of the house. -Shai
  • Ye gawds! These starfish can't do ANYTHING right anymore! They fark up their computers, their VCRs flash 12:00 all the time, and they set fire to themselves and their residences while trying to cook dinner! I'm surprised more of them aren't making the Darwin Awards list. Sigh. -SwedishChef
  • I've been frying turkeys for several years now with no problems. Use an injectable marinade the night before. But- I do it in the back yard where there is nothing flammable; I have a fire extinguisher at hand; I use quality equipment; I pre-measure the oil needed before putting it on; I use gloves and a heavy apron; I only do up to a 14 pound turkey (anything bigger does not cook fully and will tend to boil over); I use low cholesterol peanut oil. Fried turkeys are delicious! -LaserGuru
  • Dudes, five words: SET IT AND FORGET IT. One of those Showtime Rotisseries from Ronco works extremely boffo. I'm aware that in the South, if you can't fry it you shouldn't eat it, but I live in the North and like my cholesterol level right where it is. :) -Mushroom
  • Speaking of cooking things. Every zoo in the world has a plaque in front of the cages that describe the animal. The difference between all other zoos in the world and the southern part of the USA is that our southern zoos also include a receipe. -atomicbill
  • Ouch! 1st and 2nd degree burn are painful. I guess that's funny only to those who haven't made mistakes or have never hurt themselves thru ignorance. -Ungolythe
  • http://www.8legged.com/DeepFriedLive/DFL01_04.html -teivrann
  • Hmm. If you can't fry it you shouldn't eat it. That leaves a lot of room. Up in Scotland they sell deep fried Mars bars. -rurwin
  • Cooking incidents are still the #1 cause of house fires in the UK... 11 out of every 20! The prevalence of deep fat fryers over the old fashioned fat pans has got that number down somewhat. It still took a lot of public information films to teach people the right ways to stop it catching fire in the first place and to put it out if it does catch fire. (well-wrung damp tea towel and/or the lid was the easiest and safest, but fire blankets can be used, or the new "class F" wet chemical fire extinguishers... other fire extinguishers may force fat out of the pan, or worse, contain water, which boils instantly causing an explosion.) Amazing how many people still seem not to know the rules. I'm surprised anyone deep fries a turkey but then again, turkey is usually only served at Christmas and sometimes Easter here, though of course they can be obtained all year round. -EmleyMoor
  • 296. bye bye flu
    ok after being laid up for about a week now, the flu i had has left me! Im one of thoes people that dont take medications for illness, so this flue realy got me . But I surrvived! im back and so are the starfisheys.
    First story of the week..I got all A's on my report card! including SQL server! (see previous post)
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Maybe you should start taking medications... -grantnet10
  • Medications are good in severe circumstances... as for Report card, SWEET !!!! Teaches SQL prof eh? -Warrick
  • My wife is allergic to damn near every medication out there, so she can't take anything when she gets sick either. -phsspok
  • I made it a point to not take medications in hopes of building up my immune system. So now that I have a tough enough defense, colds last about 2 days. The flu lasts about 4. -MaskedMarauder
  • Exactly MM. That is exactly my opinion. I haven't been sick for 4 days together for going on 10 years. -ThreeBucks
  • Last time I spent 4 days down, I had food poisoning. -TechnoVampire
  • TV- You need to stop sucking off of those winos! -LaserGuru
  • Well done on the SQL! Your prof sounded like a total arse. As for medications...I rattle... -CommanderData
  • I never drink... Winos. -TechnoVampire
  • I am all for the non medicating as well. When I get sick, I consume lots of orange juice and Tivo. Usually back to work the next day. The human body has its methods. Let it use them. -JTSBrown
  • 297. /sniffle/
    OK listen all, who's been coughing on the TSC board? cause i just woke up with a massive headache, stuffed nose, and my eyes hurt. i know there's been a flu going around but..common..cover your mouth (/cough, cough,/) oh man..phlem on keyboard..thanks
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I'm now on day three of felling like sh*t. I've been trying different meds and they only seem to help a little. Oh /cough well I will get /cough better soon. -MightyMouse
  • bah... I had the flu the other day and just stayed the hell in bed. Its the best place for ya not walking around spreading it all over. -rockytech
  • And the vaccine may not help. The flu shifted unexpectedly this year, so the current vaccine only covers about 30% of the current strains -LaserGuru
  • i went to bed in tears last night and have no idea why. i think i might be sick, but i don't get *sick* really. only very rarely. -mousie
  • oh and now i have to go see my optom..optim..optomis...eye doctor. -neuman1812
  • I'm still disgustingly healthy. Everybody else around me has variants of the creeping ick, but not me. It's not fair. I want a sick day, dammit! Or at least I want this sinus pressure to make a decision about its future and either get worse or get better. Feh. -pixel
  • Wow. I haven't been sick enough to miss work in a while.. wife came home with pink-eye, though. Yum. -namor
  • it's nice to have a strong immune system. i'm very lucky that way. sick for me usually consists of feeling somewhat down (ie sad) for a few days. really sick is usually a cold and/or a headache. sick enough to miss work happens in the fall and in the spring. no more frequently than every 6-8 months. -mousie
  • I am sorry, but I'm not going to read this posting as I'm afraid I may get the flu which is going on here at TSC. -misterallno
  • Me sick too. :( I took yesterday off, but I still feel yucky. -Zentar
  • I'm another one of the usually healthy crowd, but I'd been feeling a bit under the weather the last couple days as well. Usually I only get really sick in the spring when I'm helping my father with the maple syrup productions, moving from a hot, steamy evaporator room out into the freezing cold, and back all day long. It's quite rare for me to be sick this time of year though. -garwain
  • I am normally ok, except for sinus pressure fot the last 5 years.. until a few days ago, when I started getting what can only be discribed as stoumach ache in my back...some people are sugesting it's kidney failure...which is quite worrying, as that is what took my Dad... -KingofDerby
  • You guys may get mad, but I dont get sick. Ever. No headaches, sinus infections. My only problems are that I play too rough - Broken half of the major bones in my body in a variety of sporting accidents. forarm, shin, ankle, ribs, dislocated hip... fun stuff -crackshot
  • The one thing that really irks me is when people cough, sneeze, splutter, etc and make NO effort to cover it or prevent the disease from spreading. For heaven's sake, it's called HYGIENE. I think it's time for another SARS outbreak to shock the rest of the (l)user starfish. <Monty Python> Bring out your dead! </Monty Python>. -Wraith556
  • <peasant> I'm not dead!</peasant> Blame my wife, she's contageous. Every time she talks about how her head feels, I have to say "yeah... I know." -Mushroom
  • This is why I wash my hands a LOT, stay at least ten feet from people who are coughing, and drink many fluid-like things. Of course, I still get sick, but not nearly as often! -snowcrash
  • I worked in a hospital for 15 months. Every day I worked on equipment that the patients came in contact with. I didn't get sick until after I decided to leave for my new job. Like the next day I got a nasty throat infection. I still don't know how I got it. Maybe I should stop licking doorknobs, though? -Bioguy
  • 298. New service to sell
    so the company I work for has decided to become an authorized nexthell dealer. I cant wait for the help calls to start! It'll be soo fun! All thoes people coming to me for help! I'll be a haaaaaapppp --monday morning coffee hits... --- damn F@#$king starfish die die die!!!!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • hap hap happy hap hap happy... Kill the starfish kill the starfish kill the starfish!!!! -rockytech
  • i got an idea, lets save the world from the starfish ! lolz -kennz
  • My wife used to work for a company that had Nextel phones for all of their contractors. Whenever one of the idiots screwed up their phone she would have to call in to get help fixing it. The support was so bad that she ended up learning to support it herself. -CelticSkyhawk
  • I got a need little program that you can use to fark..um fix nextell phones.. reads the sim cards lets me change anything....heheh let the phun begin -neuman1812
  • Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place. -scooby111
  • Hey Hey Hey I begggggggggggggggg to differ. I have a Nextel and have owned it for 5 years, and I have not had any problems with my phone and there service. I wish nextel would be #1 on the global market for cell phone, me and my friends all have nextel, we use the 2 way radio cell phone... its great !! -LowLevelFormat
  • Yeah LLF. Nextel is great, but only users are not. Users are always users. -misterallno
  • 299. If Only.....
    http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20021103&mode=classic /--User friendly SFW
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • Aww screw that... electrical feedback, THAT'S the way to go. -Warrick
  • That's an old one babe! Been posted here once or maybe twice. -misterallno
  • As a general rule, any User Friendly over a year old has been seen already. -TechnoVampire
  • BTW...would we have jobs then? Not that it is a bad thing. -DDFR
  • As a general rule, any UserFriendly more than 24 hours old has been seen. :) -Calydor
  • Yep. Got that one printed and taped to the cabinet above my desk. -psychotech
  • With regard to that cartoon strip, I've always thought that the batton should be replaced with a electric cattle-prod. "And sir, would you please the power strip on the floor?" Zzzzzaaaapppp! Should bring a few tears to the eyes. -Wraith556
  • Ummm, that should have been: "And sir, would you please check the power strip on the floor?". Not enough fingers on keyboard error. -Wraith556
  • 300. Remote Start
    OK so I do some side work at my Brother-inlaws place which installs Remote car starters. Customer call's in asking for prices..blablabla..give speil..then I Ask "What kind of car?" reply "SUV" wtf! no..no I need the make...OH.. 2003 toyota corolla, then I ask "Do you have power locks?" reply "No i Roll down the windows with a crank" I QUIT!
    [By: neuman1812]
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  • I have to ask: I can guess what a remote starter does, but why?? -smellystudent
  • Remote starters are nice if you live up north in colder climates. You start your car from inside and by the time you get out there a few minutes later, its warmed up and toasty inside. -CelticSkyhawk
  • Ah, I see. I want one now! How do they compare to the devices which you plug in that pre-heat the enginer and interior? -smellystudent
  • red=12v red=12v pink=ingition pink/white=2nd ignition purple=starter orange=accessory black=ground black/white=ground brown=brake white=lights......I live in new-england and ive done 30 R/s since friday and the day just started at...6am..20 cars to do today.... -neuman1812
  • BTW anyone in new-england (central MA) that wants one Im offering a 10% discount for TSC members. Email for store info. -neuman1812
  • ah that new corolla suv. . . .:P Stupid people -nm
  • I'd rather have a remote garageway snowsweeper, as my car is in the garage; warm and comfortable... -Dr Jerkyl
  • you should've said "listen up, slapnuts..." and then proceeded to correct the idiot! -HappyCrappy
  • Remote car starters... a god sent to all us north of the border... there is NOTHING like a nice warm care when it's-40 outside.... someday i hope to own a car.... -Harm
  • I have one and it's a life saver. It really makes adifference when it is -40 and I can stay in bed an extra ten min and get into a nice warm defrosted car. Also it's better for your engine because you let it idle for a while before driving. -samurai
  • Actually, idling is really bad for your engine. The oil doesn't circulate as fast when the engine is at low RPMs, so there is more wear on the engine when you let it idle to warm up than when you run it normally. Plus, you get 0 MPG when you idle, and gas is expensive. -EvilOtto
  • i use my rs for eviler purposes.. when i have to go to a site in some of the less than affluent (bronx) areas many times when i return to my car there are a whole bunch of kids sitting on it, start it from 1/2 a block away, hilarity ensues.. -DedSysOp
  • Cold? What is that? What is snow? -atomicbill
  • It would also be handy in case your car is wired up with a bomb, like, if you live in Iraq, or New Jersey. -robbor
  • 301. Mentors...
    to all you techies out there..who was your mentor? friend? family? who was that person that brought your IQ above the starfish level? The person you go to when you have a problem with computers. Just a question/survay?

    Mine was someone I met in HS, he was the tech director for my drama dept. He is also the guy who takes the pictures in the ad's for a large pharmacy like company. got my traing on mac's :) [By: neuman1812]
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  • My Dad sat with me and taught me DOS 5.0 commands :)... The rest, is history -crackshot
  • My dad gave me an initial grounding in BASIC. That was that. -EmleyMoor
  • Overall: My dad For School: My IT instructor, he was the man -Bunglehawk069
  • Current boyfriend who was the LAN Manager at my first tech job. But I have to admit, it was a real rush the first time I told him something about Win 3.1 that he didn't already know. He's still the guy I go to when I can't find any answers. -sassicatz
  • My dad set me down in front of a Commodore PET when I was 4 and told me that it would be the future. I was navigating DOS by myself two or three years later. -CelticSkyhawk
  • My mom taught me how to use computers. I was scared crapless of computers when I was a kid, and I'd burst out crying when I'd see a BSoD. My mom taught me how to use Linux (RedHat/Fedora, really), Windows, DOS, and enough hardware know-how to build my own comp. Without her, I would have been another little starfishy in the sea... -Firecaster
  • Ohh good lord.. well i was born with computers around me.... my dad would bring "portable" computers home when i was young.. played "missile command" in a touch screen when i was 3.. started to program on the commadore 64 when i was 8.. used other varuiouse and sundry systems that were brought home in order to type out school reports.. ( yay spell check!) for years up untill the 64 was replaced with a mac LC II ( ohh the 8 megs of ram!!!) who do i go to when i have problems... my buddys finxches dad. WAS a computers store.. and and ISP. i have a problems .. i susually ask him. or any Co-workers. -Harm
  • As much as I hate to admit it, my ex-wife taught me the basics clear back when you had to manually edit system files every time you installed new hardware. Everything I know about UNIX and diagnosing problems through our Cisco routers I owe to my current system administrator. -RiffRaff
  • Hmm, tough one. Mom gave me the tools to reach for the stars, my best friend Melanie let me touch her C-64, and my high-school BASIC instructor thought I could *really* code in a real language someday, after writing just one toy program. So I don't know whom to pick as my "mentor". -snowcrash
  • I live in a family of starfish so I figured it all out myself, started with dos 6.22, now learing Suse 9.0 for amusement -Olorin
  • I taught myself computers. Ronald Reagan is my hero. I got my IQ from my mom. My father is the king of the starfish. -phanatik
  • My Grandpa bought me most of my first computers; C64 when I was about 8 and a 386 when I was 12. He didn't know much about them himself, but if not for him, I may not be as interested in computers as I am now. My parents were afraid of computers. -Cuedain
  • me and me alone, hmm maybe thats why im at ao. tech support.. lol -s0nix
  • I BUILT my first computer (soldering), taught myself computer skills, CP/M, Unix, DOS 1-6xx, Win 1-XP, Basic, went to school to learn COBOL (on a TTY), Pascal, Fortran, LISP, C. I think I've forgotten more prgramming languages than most programmers will ever learn :D. Sorry I didn't want to brag. But I haven't had any mentor...SOB! No-one to blaim... -Dr Jerkyl
  • my dad for sure. Ever since I was about 12 years old, there has always been a top-of-the-line computer in the house. For most of those years there has been more than one. What blows my mind is how it must have affected my little bro, who, because of my dad, has been around computers since he was like 2 years old. :P -mousie
  • I tought myself, first computer was a Spectrum 48k, then an Atari ST followed by a 386sx. Program in C, ASM, Basic, Cobol, Pascal. Tried every version of Winblows from 3.0 - 2k3 and in linuxes RH/MDK and SuSE, although atm I quite like Vector Linux for my laptop. Sorry no mentors here. -fearmyroot
  • Interestingly enough...the supervisor at my first job...the MCSE who needed his hand held using Outlook Express. Ironically, if he had actually known how to do stuff, I wouldn't have needed to learn everything I know now :P -grahamwboyes
  • I am mostly self taught but learned alot of computer knowledge from a few friends and the loacl PC users group here in town (back in the late 80's early 90's) IHOP on S Florida Avenue! -JoeLugian
  • coding: upperclass students when in college. hardware: Dad for learning to figure it out, a college friend once we reached the work world who gave me a basic grounding. -CTYankee
  • Pretty much self-taught. Went into the Navy as a computer tech and was immediately put to work doing data entry :( It was a huge motivator to spend all my spare time increasing my knowledge. Within 6 month's I was running the mainframe and helping to design the ships first PC LAN :) -Hellion
  • I had to take a BASIC programming class (on UNIX, no PCs back then!) for my degree in Forestry. Everything else was self taught. -CyBear
  • Was interested in the Apple IIe's at school, parents bought a Vic-20... then a C-64. I taught myself most everything... no mentors, but a few friends. -namor
  • <geek alert!> My mentor was Scotty from StarTrek...mainly the attitude he displayed and methodology in pulling the crew's butt out of almost every mess was inspirational.</geek alert> -ChildofCthulhu
  • My older brother is the one that got my started. I bought a 286/20 back in '92. Learned DOS and setup a succesful BBS that ran for almost 4 years. Once the internet boom started in late '95/early '96, the BBS failed. Once Win95 came out, it was all over. -Jeckler
  • I learned electronics on my own, my dad helped as much as he could but stopped with Heathkit. Got involved with computers and outstripped him, took a summer job with an electronics / computer place... and it was the boss there that was my mentor in the early days. Again, by the time I left him I was far beyond him, and I have been self-taught pretty much ever since... -chazz
  • Sorry, no mentors. Self taught. Got the bug on an 8k mainframe. Coded on cards and punched tape. Had a Sinclair Spectrum, Radio Shack COCO II, An Apple II+, an Atari 400. Graduated to a DEC Rainbow with CP/M and then to an IBM PC with DOS 1. Moved on to DOS 2-6.xx, Win 3.x-XP Pro, NT4 & 2000 Server. OS/2. Novell Netware 2.xx-5.x Kept going up through IBM's, Compaq's, HP's and alot of the ones you have never heard of. Programmed in BASIC, QuickBASIC, QBASIC, Modula, SmallTalk, Logo, Pascal, C & C+, dBase II-5.5, FoxPro, Clipper, Lisp, Fortran, RPG (not games), COBOL, SNOBOL, Perl, PHP, and Javascript. Got burned out and went back to hardware/os support. Still dabble in programming. Am working to learn GNU/Linux. My family are all starfish. *sigh* -ecoli
  • I didn't really have any mentors, my parents bought our first computer when I was four and it was like my first love. It was an IBM PS1 with two 3.5 inch floppy drives and like a 10 MB harddrive (was I ever happy when we got the 35MB HD "holy hard drive space to spare batman") -Raccoon
  • ok, in cronological <sp?> order there were helpfiles, books, man in unix systems, then the internet -garwain
  • Comupter teacher in elementary school. -nm
  • i mostly taught myself, i think i'd be lost now adays without google/deja -DedSysOp
  • I'd have to say it was the voices that did most of my teaching. -AceOfShades
  • My Dad instructed me in electronics (Valve & Analogue) - I read electronics magazines in the 1970's and I am learnt about digital myself - I understood it better than my Dad, My dad got me my first computer when I was 15, a TRS 80 Model II with 16K of ram, I could program in basic and machine code..... -Wonko The Sane
  • My old man was a project manager for nortel learned the basics from him. Broke his heart when I left my road to burn out job as a database admin. at a market research house to take calls at tech support. -CallDawg
  • My Dad. We used to do stuff on the old Texas Instruments 99-4A. (Side Note: that old 99-4A is STILL sitting in the attic at my parents' home!) -TheSingingTech
  • My friend Gary, A high school buddy when we were younger and worked on a Digital PDP/34 mainframe. OMG.. I AM OLD! -haplo1024
  • Mainly self-taught, but had a good friend I hung out with in highschool who taught me a lot. -teivrann
  • Not to blow my own horn, but it was me. I started out on a TRS-80 PC/2 (yeah, the calculator with quasi-BASIC) when I was about 8, then a Commodore 64, and a Compaq luggable.. and so on. -Jay911
  • "everything I ever needed to know, I learned from star trek".. I started out taking my toys apart, and putting the pieces of other toys in with them to see what I could build, then I took apart an r/c car, and installed the parts into a 1960 chevy nova, successfully creating the first remote car starter, then I took electronics and BASIC programming in high school (before home computers, had to save programs on 12 foot long strips of punched paper tape) then I went into the army, got out of the army, got my first coco, then my cocoII, and wired my entire apt to the joystick port with a bunch of magnets, resistors, and reed switches (thx for analogue inputs) and was introduced to the arpanet provided by the college I worked for (systems analyst, suny binghamton) then to the Tandy1000, then a heathkit <Bad Boys Rape Other Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly> (anybody else know what that means?) then a 33mhz cyrix, a 133mhz AMD, 233mhz AMD(running linux for the first time) 500 mhz AMD, so, basically, I pretty much evolved with the technology, so, I pretty much had no mentor -Spyder19
  • hmmmm, well I started copying programs out of books for my C64 when I was a small kid, wrote my first program around 9-10 (by myself, didn't really have a mentor) but if I had to name a mentor, I'd say either my uncle (he's the family fix-it, and I have been described as the fix-it of the next generation) or one of my cousins, who I watched fix our computer whenever he visited. Apart from that, I'm mostly self taught. -Splunge
  • My dad wouldn't buy me a computer when I was seven. (I learned how to read before kindergarden thanks to my slave driver mother.) So I read how to build one, Bought a motherboard, processor, monitor, keyboard with my saved allowance, and took the ram, primary HDD,video and sound cards from his computer. I put all this in a wooden case. And actually got the thing to run. My dad was so proud he let me keep it though he did make me put it in a regular case. I still have it and it still runs really really slowly. -samurai
  • My father - who is a Unix GOD, tought me all about PCs (and electrical gubbins) from punch-cards to mainframes....and then brought me my first computer when I was 8 - a sinclair spectrum..ahhhhh -CommanderData
  • My dad didn't have much computer knowledge, but he taught me basic electronic engineering. He also taught me self reliance and how to find out things for myself. I just naturally graduated into computers from there. And Spyder19: It's the resistor color code: Black Brown Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Violet Gray White. So what'd I win? -ThirdOfFive
  • 302. Another professor down the drain
    My Windows 2000 network professor who was working in the field for 25 years, told me "There is no way you can send a message to everyone in network at the same time" I replyed to this by sedding everyone in the network a message stating that he was wrong...

    I hate being right

    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • No, you don't. Admit it. It feels really good. -PaseoGuy
  • ok you caught me...i lied..i was smiling :) -neuman1812
  • net send <machine> From Administration Team: Quit pissing about with net messages. :) -fearmyroot
  • LOL - What a moron. -Hellion
  • When I was at College, our NA sent a global message about misuse of the email system. Unfortunately, every student received 82 copies of the message. -chameleon
  • I love it. Proves the old axiom right: Those who claim it cannot be done are usually interrupted by those doing it. -teivrann
  • 303. Follow up to DB

    use TSC
    select * from ITT
    where like '%starfish%'
    drop

    A quick follow up to my DB teacher: He has expressed great dis-like for me this week (dean spoke to him) He has questioned every line of my code(sql) and he is now even questioning my format(look). correct spaces... new line..
    ok so my codes a little ruff on the neatness, but for f#%king sake it works. Ive only been doing SQL for about 10 weeks now and Im already using commands the teacher does not know. Anyone who uses SQL probably knows about the "books online" great feature...find commands..how to use them..proper coding...there are so many times when I want to tell him to RTM!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Must... not... LART... Proffesor. -crackshot
  • you must want to tell him to rtFm, I don't think you'd be able to get satisfaction out of just rtm -nm
  • (loads his Scoped Lee Enfield) Right.. just point him.. aww crap, too much CoD again damnit -Warrick
  • Speaking as an evil DBA, I personally don't give a shit what your code looks like as long as it works. Tell THAT to this so-called professor, he sounds like one of those who learnt it all from a 'Dummies' book and so cannot be creative themselves. -CommanderData
  • Heck, if you really want to stick it to him, take his job once the course is over. Sounds like you can do it better than he can! -TheSingingTech
  • I have a professor who is a DBA by trade, but is teaching a networks class. Every question you ask he says "I don't know and then mumbles on with some other incorrect bullshit. I have caught him saying totally outrageous incorrect things many times and have prooved him wrong (i.e. IP addresses are assigned by Network Solutions). -grantnet10
  • "those that cannot do.. teach... those that cannot teach.. teach gym" -OzarkBard
  • 304. with threebucks
    This kinda follows the story of Threebucks...I currently attend ITT tech. My current DB teacher gave us an assignment that said would take us 3 hrs. 20 min later when I finished it, he asked me to show it to him, said I did it all wrong. I told him no..thoese commands are found in the FM. His words exactly "If your so f*@&%ing smart you teach the class" 2 hours later the entire class now knows how to do the assignment, properly, with some bells and whistles. and the dean got an earfull from me about the teacher. BTW..I got an automatic 50 points added to my final exam :) which is next week!
    [By: neuman1812]
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    Comments

  • Way to go! You might end teachiing instead of learning :D -Dr Jerkyl
  • Good work indeed. Stand up for you rights and stick it to the man(or woman). I had a similar experience where a teacher dissed my Mac Turbo Pascal program on the grounds that "that program has to be incorrect, since you cannot know how to use those commands, since I did not teach them to you". AARGH! So walking I do not know how to do, since teach it to me you did not? -HunterSThompson
  • Now this seems familiar... In 1986 I took a BASIC class. One exam was to write a simple calendar program (on a TRS-80). The instructor did not understand some of my coding even after I flow charted it on the blackboard. I haven't taken a programming class since. -LaserGuru
  • LG I remember once when I went to a Cobol programming class in the beginning. To pick out and print the mainframe's date & time you had to make 1½ page of code. We then understood the expression Cobol fingers :D -Dr Jerkyl
  • I remember my brief experiences with coding classes - and getting marks off for putting in expressions that we weren't supposed to have been taught yet. <sigh> -namor
  • Way to go, neumann! When I went to (whisper it) Computer Learning Center, after having taken extensive COBOL and C classes at another school in another state, when one of the teachers accused me of "showing attitude" because I did some things in a program that we hadn't had in class yet, I said "Yes!" -sassicatz
  • Excellent - showing up your prof is always a way to make lifelong stories to share over keyboards and beer. -moonchild
  • I've git that attitude before - (do I show my age when I call it the governments "Extra Tenner" course?) - most programming tasks I would do in about 1-2 pages of code. teacher accuses me of not knowing how to write structured code. Asked if I could use Jackson Structured Programming to design and implement next task. took 12 pages of code and 4 pages of supporting documentation. When I got accused of not doing it correctly, I gave him Jacksons' phone number, and told him to call and verify. Suprisingly, my ability was not questioned after that. <grin> -madonnac
  • I'm takeing a FORTAN 77 class right now, and the teaher is first rate. He works in the Enginering Dept so he acctuly knows pratical applications, instead of 'book theory' -axjdo
  • I had a VBA teacher like that. He wanted us to do a big final project, and I couldn't find a way to use what he taught us to complete my project so I put in a *gasp* query. Now, I got marks taken away for "poor programming" because I had wasted most of the month trying to get him to show us useful information instead of focusing on the user interface, which every other class was teaching as well. Finally I just dumped in code that worked. In the real programming courses (C/Delphi/whatever) my teachers always gave me top marks because I went beyond the textbooks to learn. My code is usually hard to read because I go for optomized code instead of neat looking code (with some occasional assembly thrown in). My C teacher told me not to change my coding style while I was in her class because a) she liked the challenge of figuring out my code instead of reading another program identical to the previous and b) she could pick out code leaches who tried to steal my code and change a few variable names. -garwain
  • I've only programmed a little bit on a COmmodore 64, but that's when I was 4-5 years old and looking over the information in the book. -Warrick
  • Those who can't do, teach. I gave up on coding because 90% of the teachers were either unable to teach effectively, or only knew their way of doing things. It was just too frustrating. -scooby111
  • I had a lecturer who almost swore blind that the method of getting really fast installation and data transfer times was to have the CD-ROM and HD on the same channel(?!). He was wrong and I knew it. While the rest of the class nodded sagely at his pearls of wisdom, I raised my hand and said "That's wrong." After reaching into my backpack and producing one of the tech's bibles (Upgrading and Repairing PCs), opened it to a bookmarked page and quoted: "'IDE channels can only handle one device at a time'! Your method would require data to be copied from the CD to RAM, and then from RAM to the HD. If the devices were on separate IDE channels, the data would pass from the CD to the IDE controller, along the PCI bus to the other IDE controller, and then to the HD." That lecturer didn't particularly like me, but I finished the course with distinction. -Wraith556
  • It's a dangerous game pissing off your teachers. There are only 2 possibly outcomes. 1) they'll just get pissed, and make your life hell while you're in their class or 2) they'll get over being pissed and realize that you are smarter than the average seat warmer. -garwain
  • Garwain, the secret is have the references handy. Anyway, that lecturer was so badly organised we didn't know what were the assessable tasks were until the last two weeks of a four month subject. When it came to the lecturer evaluation, the whole class proceeded to proverbialy tear him a new orifice. Most of the students were so jaded by the experience they didn't proceed with further studies, myself included. -Wraith556
  • Awsome neuman! I'm considering going to the IT head for my situation. -ThreeBucks
  • WooHoo for you. Makes you feel good when you teach the teacher. -raggi
  • I failed an computers class when it came to the Java script , Java and HTML portion.. never mind i had been coding to 2 years previous to taking the class - and getting payed at that. the teacher took a disliking to me. as i know more then him.. took 10 % off a final mark as i did not show up for detention one day. in protest to the fact taht it was for essentially knowing more then him. and proving it to the class. yay high school -Harm
  • My programming in BASIC (plain and structured and various dialects at that), LISP, PASCAL and C was pretty good. I can do perl now as well. I never did really master C++ or prolog. I did quite well with OCCAM, the limited amount I used it. I was also good at the simpler aspects of logo. Code thieves who pinched my code were usually found out. As for the IDE channels thing, it is the exact reason I usually wire the CD drive on a different IDE channel (assuming on