I can't say that I have been missing it...
I work for a very large retailer that will remain nameless (Hint: the red stapler is the same color is our main icon). We even have a job inour company called TPS. I recently got promoted and have a small team working for me. In order to fight off the impending feeling that I could become a no-talent ass clown in their eyes, I have decided to buy each member of my small team (and myself) a glorious, powerful red Swingline. Why? For them, to know that they can tell me if I am being a stupid boss and help me keep it real. For me, to remind me every day not to be a Lumberghian tool. Ummm, yeah. Submitted by: People Person! (Oregon/2008-02-20)
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Living the movie
In 2000 I moved to Johnson City Tn and worked for a Water Heater Plant that shall remain unnamed. I had a TPS report (For the life of me I can not remember exactly what it stood for other than it was the TPS report)and if it was wrong I had at least 8 people tell me my mistake. Once the VP of Quality called from the corporate office and asked what was wrong when he found a mistake. My boss was a Lumbberg type individual with a bit of nascar redneck twist. When the movie came out and I saw it on TV, I dearly wanted a red swingline stapler. Today I bought my a red swingline stapler for her office. Submitted by: Sonny (Knoxville Tn/2008-02-04)
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Many Office Moves In A Few Months
I've worked in the same place as an electronics technician for over twenty years now. My office was first in a small, single wide trailer in a parking lot. We then moved into a shabby double wide, then a better one, which we fixed up fairly nice. Then the powers that be decided that they wanted to get rid of all temporary buildings and moved us into the main building. By then, out five man contract was down to three. This soon whittled down to myself and a supervisor, who was given more minions and no longer did technical work.
Real estate in the building is at a premium and there are a lot of power battles over it. To make room for more people, about eighteen months ago, I was moved into a single wide trailer in the parking lot. This was actually nice, I was by myself and had a window where I could see squirrels and they were in love.
I wasn't in the trailer for eight months when I was moved to the office on the opposite side of the wall from where I was just a few months ago. Then in September, I was moved once again. The moving wouldn't be such a big deal if it was just a cubicle's worth of stuff to move, not an inventory of spare parts, tools, and test equipment.
Things aren't so bad right now, lots of room and a long overdue raise. But when I mentioned to a friend that I was being moved again, he said that I reminded him of Milton from Office Space. So I printed out Milton's picture, with the caption, "I still have my stapler." People who know the movie get a kick out of it.
So I just ordered the red stapler from this site. I'm planning on getting one of those plastic display cases that you show model cars in for the stapler, which will then be placed in a prominent place in the office. Also ordered a coffee cup to replace my one of Elvis Presley shaking hands with Richard Nixon. I'm curious to see if anyone recognizes it. Submitted by: Tom Green (Yuma, Arizona/2007-12-20)
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Lundberg
I'm an IT worker for a hospital. (& will be buying a Red Swingline for my current supervisor, a HUGE office space guy...)
Anyway, we have a middle manager that is the quintessental Lundberg. My co workers and I got along with him at first, before the power/pressure got to the young guy. About the same time I thought he was joking when he started a meeting with, "yeah, I need you all to rotate working Saturdays..." and took a swig from what we think was coffee, not too sure. Nope, he'd never seen the movie. Since then we have had Hawaiian Shirt friday and more than one "Is this good for the company" speaches. One even reminded me of the Flair speach. "Patients come to our hospital for the atmosphere" was the gist of that speach. Still hasn't admitted to seeing the movie.
Here's to discovering and being led by your inner Milton to get out of the Rat Race. Submitted by: Dave (Illinois/2007-10-09)
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Disappearing Stapler
My biggest mistake was talking to the same co-worker who gave me the stapler about the movie. My boss had never seen it. I let her borrow it. That was my undoing. That same co-worker gave me a red stapler as a birthday gift. From May to December it would vanish and then reappear. I questioned everyone, no one in the office either knew anything about it or would fess up to it. I forgot about it then during our office Christmas party my boss, of all people, told me that she had a special gift for me. She pulls out from behind one of her bookcases the stapler. If you boss is a practical joker never let them watch a movie that will give them any ideas on how to mess with employees. Submitted by: Eric (California/2007-07-05)
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Best Birthday Gift Ever
A colleague of mine knows how much I love the film. I even stole a DVD-release poster off of a bulletin board on campus and tacked it to my door. Then someone stole it off of my door...but not before I got a ton of people commenting about how much they loved the sentiment "You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care" in large font on it.
Anyway, I did find another poster elsewhere on campus and now it adorns a wall in my office where no one can steal it.
So my birthday was approaching and we were all going out that night. This colleague of mine found the red Swingline Stapler and gave it to me for my birthday. I labeled it the best birthday gift ever because he actually put thought into it and had to search for it since you can't get it in a store.
So while it's not a great story to read, it is a great story for me to think about because of the meaning and message behind the gift and whom it's from. Submitted by: Lisa (New Jersey/2007-06-26)
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It's more than just a stapler...
Recently my husband, (let's call him Frank) decided to leave "Corporate America" after 15 years in middle management, and strike out on his own. To celebrate this monumental decision and as a way of saying, "f*#* you" to the corporate world, I have just ordered for him the red swingline stapler. Because really, it's more than just a stapler, it's serves as a metaphore for sticking it to "the Man". Submitted by: Jeanie (New Jersey/2007-06-12)
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How DARE she steal my stapler!
When I was in 7th grade (1963-64) I saved my babysitting money to buy one of those little red staplers. It was in a little plastic case along with a small box of extra staples. I loved that little thing! It was so compact and nifty!
Well, one day in Math class I saw this girl stole it from me. She took it out of my desk. And, the thing that really made me mad is she was RICH! Her father was a well-known pathologist in our community. They had enough money to fill their whole HOUSE with those Swingline Red Stapler kits!
So, when she asked to go to the restroom, I also got a pass to go. When I confronted her, she denied it. Well, I happened to know she DID take it! I literally cornered her, letting her know that I SAW her take it AND, futhermore, why would she even NEED to steal anything since her family had more than enough money to afford one of these! She still tried to deny it. BUT, I backed her up against the sink...mostly using my very FIRM words...never threatening her physically. But, just the fact that I wouldn't let her leave until I got my stapler back must have scared her into submission. She finally took it out of her bag and handed it back to me. I never quite trusted her after that. BRAT!!! Swingline Stapler Stealer! Submitted by: SplitPea (CA/2007-05-25)
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I AM MILTON
So, basically, my name is Milton. For real, check my order form and payment info. I do work in an office, and have loved the movie since day 1. People thought it would be hilarious fo me to have a red stapler and I began hunting one down and found your web site. Without hesitation I ordered it, and cannot wait! I feel nervous almost like Im being reuinited with a long lost child. Great job, hope to see more great Initech stuff find its rightful place on MY desk. Best wishes and thank you again. Milton Submitted by: Milton Kalmanowitz (Vermont/2007-02-24)
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Waaaay in the Back
I received a Initech desk set from a friend about 2 years ago from my battalion Executive Officer. Since then I've been forced to move my desk way in the back. I had to move 7235 miles in the back; I'm currently in Baghdad, Iraq.
The good news is that the Initech Deskset made the trip in one piece. The bad news is that I have to come in "regular time" even on Saturdays. Submitted by: Dan O'Rourke (Fort Hood Texas/2006-11-22)
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Of Little Things
I named my stapler Milton. I imagine most everyone has had something which meant a lot to them. Children are more appreciative of little things. The flashlight that lets you walk in the back yard at night, your first pocket knife, the first dimes and quarters that were actually yours and bought you candy. Little things that meant a lot.
If you ever worked in an office, factory, engine room of a ship, anywhere a place was defined as yours, you can feel the hurt which Milton felt when the boss came down to crush his world, and take his stapler.
The Rio Red Swingline is just a little thing. Something to keep you in touch with the small people that affect us all in a big way............. Submitted by: Alan (Chicago/2006-10-22)
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paper jam?
Not to do specifically with the stapler (mine is on order, more later)...
My cubicle is right next to one of our group printers, the one that never works.
Every day, all day, people come by and stare at it with mute perplexity...mumbling "where's my prints? Why does it say paper jam? What's wrong with it now? I swear, I hate this #$%& thing"...and on and on..
I now have Office Space on my Treo 650 (yep, the whole movie), and I just show them the scene with Samir ("one of these days...") and they laugh, and then borrow my DVD (the one WITH FLAIR). Submitted by: Duane Aubin (Toronto/2006-10-20)
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Never loved anything more..
In 1987 I received a black 747 Swingline from my work. I moved 3 times and took that stapler with me each time. It was too precious to part with. I have been at this job for 5 years and 2 weeks ago it broke :(...
My friend Susana, who orders office supplies bought me the most fabulous new RED 747 SWINGLINE-I was shy to use it at first for fear my old black one (which I refuse to throw away!) would feel jealous-After the first staple, I was in LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ---I have never loved anything more than this stapler. I think I'll call it Valentino. Thank you for letting me share my story! Submitted by: Cara9ah (Tulare, CA/2006-09-19)
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Perfect gift for a job well done
I just bought the red swingline for my assistant to thank him for all his hard work recently. I know he will love it! I just hope he doesn't burn the building down. This site is awesome! Submitted by: swingline lover (maryland/2006-08-09)
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Got the red stapler, got a raise the next day
I got the Rio Red Swingline 747, and placed it complete with Swingline (they don't bind up) staples on my desk at 8 am Monday morning. At 10 am my boss called me upstairs and I got a 15% raise. Coincidence? I think not! Submitted by: Barbarian (Canada/2006-06-23)
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The sociology of the red stapler.
I am a sociologist and was inspired by Office Space to do some research on the role of the stapler and other office tools as symbols of both empowerment (the ability to bring coherence to otherwise loose pages) and alienation (that the users are rarely fully engaged in the productive process, i.e. planning, manifest production and distribution of the fruits of production). Anyway, guess what? Academics read sites like this and some of us think that films like Office Space and characters like Peter and Milton are important signs that society is salvagable. You all know that Swingline had to start making red staplers, but did you know that they have brought back the original Tot 50, with the small staples, that many of us used in college? They were red too! Submitted by: Prof Dave (north Georgia/2006-05-18)
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File Closet
I have a supervisor who is a little weak in the communication department. Found out recently, accidentally, that I am being relocated to sit in our file closet, (as soon as they find a desk small enough to fit in there).
So I promptly ordered my own red stapler. I feel I've earned it. Submitted by: ocdprnces (Colorado/2006-05-17)
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Basement anyone
Okay so I'm the Internal Auditor for a mental health center and last year they decided to move my office to the basement. All of my friends and I are Office Space fans so needless to say I was gifted with my very own red swingline. Now people come down looking for my stapler instead of me. Submitted by: jlee1176 (florida/2006-03-30)
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Office Space yahoo widget
If you have the Yahoo Widget Engine (get it here: http://widgets.yahoo.com/), you can download an image of a red swingline (not quite accurate, but close) that will play quotes from Office Space when you click it.
(get it here:http://widgets.yahoo.com/gallery/view.php?widget=38777)
It's especially handy when the boss stolls over to ask for something - just click on it and play a quote. Nice! Submitted by: rochelle (cleveland oh/2006-03-16)
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Living "Office Space" - The Sequel
I bought the Office Space Fan Kit (stapler, mug, mouse pad, sticky notes pad) to add some flair to my otherwise depressing and soul-sucking office environment...and to make a sarcastic statement about our lame software company. Many of my colleagues are fans of “Office Space” and we even have one guy who is the incarnate of the Milton character. We often talk about how we are actually living the sequel to Office Space in real life:
* Our software sales are plummeting while executive pay and bonuses continue to climb
* Layoffs every year since 2001 – the company’s extreme effort cut costs so the company stock will go up 2 points
* Loss of US jobs due to outsourcing to India (standard procedure)
* No talent ass-clown managers being promoted to higher levels of incompetence while competent individual workers have no career path
* An ever-changing executive management who earn their millions and leave after 3 years
* And yes …cutting costs by moving from nice walled offices to a cubicle "rat maze" hell – called "open work spaces" in the company lingo.
Now equipped with my Office Space Fan Kit, I have the inspiration to survive another day at work – and sometimes just "not go" to work – just do absolutely nothing and enjoy every minute of it.
Submitted by: Peter Gibbons (Houston, Texas/2006-01-19)
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Office Space Italiana!!!
Just got my kit today!!!..I work in Italy for the US Navy, and lemme tell ya...Italians LOVE "Office Space" and all the characters, especially Milton..."dove' la mia spillatrice rossa"?..where is my red Swingline stapler?...perhaps at the Vatican?...you guys totally rock!!..Thanks, Saby Submitted by: Sebastian Guercia (Gaeta, Italy/2006-01-11)
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bossman says no
So my boss and I both love this movie...funny part is he won't get me a red swingline because he doesn't want me to A burn the joint down or B move my desk to the basement....
I think I could use the above to threaten if i don't get my red swingline;-) Submitted by: Katie (Saratoga Springs NY/2006-01-10)
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Milton is our hero!!!
My boyfriend Dan and I just love the movie!!! We introduced one of Dan's co-workers to it and now he's addicted like we are. We decided we were going to find a red Swingline stapler for Dan's co-worker for Christmas and I am so stoked that we were able to order the stapler and then some from this amazingly awesome site!! I'm looking forward to recieving both the staplers we ordered (cuz we had to have one for ourselves) as well as the famous initech mug and the rest of the goodies in the fan pack. Office Space is the BEST movie EVER!!! :) Submitted by: Alecia and Dan (S.F. Bay Area, California/2005-12-21)
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I Love My Fan Kit
Just want to say that I'm very pleased with my Office Space fan kit order. It arrived much faster than expected and it is really top quality. The stapler is a lot sturdier and heavier than I thought it would be. You could really whack someone with it. And the coffee mug, mouse pad, and sticky notes are spot on and polished as all get out. You guys are rock stars in my
book. Thanks a million!
Submitted by: Gary (Raleigh, NC/2005-12-19)
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My hubby is going to die!
This movie is either played or spoken in bits and pieces in our home all of the time! Both my husband and I are survivors of the dot com world and this movie (and all of the characters) represent a very challenging but fun time in our lives. The stapler could not be a better icon of the era! What a fine and complete Christmas we will have this year! Thanks! Submitted by: Michelle (Pacific Palisades/2005-12-05)
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Aussies love Office Space, too
I just ordered my red swingline stapler today as a Christmas gift for my Australian fiance. He and his friends love Office Space so much they have entire conversations using only lines from the movie. Some people would think giving a man a stapler for Christmas is not very romantic, but I know as soon as he unwraps that baby, I'm going to get some. Also, when his friends see it, they will certainly approve of our marriage even more than they already do.
Thanks, Swingline! Submitted by: Peg (Pennsylvania/2005-12-04)
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Happy Day
The 747 Classic is out, the 747 Rio Red is in! With Initech post-its and a TPS Cover Sheet I'm ready for anything (except Lumbergh and the Bobs). Submitted by: Michael (Knoxville, TN/2005-11-28)
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The best surprise of my life
I worked in a technical support (call) centre here in town, doing 3rd Level Technical Support and Customer Dispute Resolution. I absolutely hated my job when the movie "Office Space" was mentioned by one of my colleagues. I had not seen it before so I decided that I would rent it and watch it that weekend.
I immediately related to the movie, and saw one of my superiors as Lumbergh (the rotten Pr*ck), and another as Dom (the kiss ass junior micro-manager). Everyone at my place was represented by at least one character in the movie - including myself! I swaer that I watched the movie at least 5 times before I had to return it.
I went back into the office (***shudder***) on Monday and raved about the movie... somehow, I had it in my mind that this was a piece of the working world captured on film, and this movie immediately took its place among my top 5.
Word spread to my subordinates, and about 6-8 weeks later, a select few came up to me on their break with a non-descript brown cardboard box, stating "We heard you loved the movie so much, we took up a collection." I opened the box and found my very own Red Swingline Stapler. A huge belly laugh and a momentary pause later, I thanked them and expressed my shock that they actually liked me as a boss enough to remember something like that. It made my remaining stay at the dreaded, windowless building of doom that much more bearable - thanks to my wonderful team and a Red Swingline Stapler. Submitted by: Dave (London, ON, CANADA/2005-11-18)
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So much Flair!
I received my stapler today with the "Initech" notepad & I AM IN LOVE! Its amazing and heavy & soooo red! Ass Clowns are always coming and asking to borrow my stapler, but I am NOT letting them touch it! I put my old (Burgundy) Swingline toward the front of the desk & always point out to that one when they ask to bowwor a stapler. I/m pregnant & very emotional & I almost cried when I saw how beutiful it was. Thanks again from an Office Space & office supply addict! Submitted by: Aylin :) (Boca Raton, FL/2005-11-16)
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Re-Release of Office Space
I just purchased my Swingline last week from this site, thank you! I now also have my $5.00 mail-in rebate for the stapler (it is inside the new Office Space DVD case), so now I even get some cash back. THANK YOU!
The mug and mouse pad are great too. Don't be an Ass Clown buy your Office Space stuff from this site, you won't be sorry you did.
Submitted by: Josh (Might As Well Be Initech/2005-11-02)
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Stapling is serious work
Never settle for less than a red Swingline. I will be your best desktop friend. Its more fun than bouncing a stress football off a co-workers head, and thats fun. Submitted by: Staple Addict (Seattle, OR/2005-10-05)
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reference
I was looking at the instructor, and asked for a stapler. She gives us muliple pages of homework every week! She said, "We have none." Multilple students came in late, each of them requesting a stapler, As the fourth student asked, "Where is the stapler?" My instructor taunted, "There is no stapler, the red swingline has gone down by the way of fire." I had to laugh. So, with that geek reference, I bought her one. Submitted by: rhino (ohio/2005-09-27)
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the envy of the office.
ummm yyyeeahhh..
i got my kit yesterday, took it to work today and let me tell you everyone was eyeing my stapler and kept picking it. this one guy kept doing the scene where lumberg takes it and spins it in the air and then says "thanks milton"
i love this thing. its so nice and heavy. Submitted by: Tony S. (Fort Lauderdale, FL./2005-08-25)
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Milton, M.D.?
Office Space is the funniest movie I've ever seen. Just recently, I had to see a new doctor for a physical and wouldn't you know it, he looks just like Milton from the movie. I started to laugh deep inside and just couldn't help it. I was waiting for my doctor to say "Where's my stapler" Please don't take my stapler". Just thought I'd share this with everybody..By the way, I asked him about the movie and he said that a few people told him about how he looked like Milton..Didn't seem to happy when I asked him though...lol Submitted by: jose b (Burbank, CA/2005-08-18)
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Office Space Fan Kit
I purchased the Office Space Fan Kit from this site, and would like to confess, I am the envy of my office.
My boss keeps coming up and picking up my mug and acting like Lumberg...saying stuff like "yeah I'm going to need you to come in again on Sunday".
Thank you so much! Submitted by: Ryan Williams (Coppers Cove, Texas/2005-08-16)
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Recently told to stop it
Our HR dept manager recently asked me to stop performing my bang on impression of Milton at work. Seems it was scaring the upper management. Submitted by: James (Pharmacy hell/2005-08-10)
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Envy
I want one of those staplers. I didn't like my last job, so I just didn't go anymore. So now I can't afford one.
Ummm, yeah.
Submitted by: TundraPup (Alaska/2005-07-28)
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Promotion to the cubicle
My friend Shane and I have both had the same job as "District Supervisors" in neighboring districts for years. We have always been big fans of Office Space and he is forever quoting Lunberg. He recently got "promoted" to the home office and gets to sit in his cubicle and stare into space for an hour before he ltries to look busy. I called him and jokingly asked if he had his red Swingline sitting on his desk yet. Then it occured to me that he HAS to have a red Swingline. I ordered one from another site just before I found this one. Now he's getting the Initech mug, too! Submitted by: Lisa Bryant (Arkansas/2005-05-12)
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Red Swingline in Promotional Video
We just worked a Red Swingline into a new video we shot for one of our products. It's sitting on a desk near a product workstation. We had to downplay it a little bit because the producer of this professionally-shot video thought that its color presence was too distracting!
Our plans are now to make sure the Red Swingline appears in some gratuitous fashion in all future product videos we make. Submitted by: Peter Gozinya (Pittsburgh PA/2005-03-02)
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Bottle Cap
I just opened a Sobe Iced Tea and under the bottle cap it read, "I believe you have my stapler?" I totally cracked up. Notice the word, "totally". Yes, I am from California and I have been trying to get that word totally removed from my vocabulary for, like, 23 years. Do people from here really talk like this? You betcha. My therapist said to leave myself a little reminder not to say, "totally". Like, maybe, stapling a note to my forehead using a red Swingline model 646? OUCH! That totally hurt! Now I have two little dots in my forehead. It wouldn't look so bad, but that little piece of metal in between the dots catches everybody's attention. Fortunately, I poked two holes in the note so I can see where I'm going. It's hard enough trying to type on my PDA and drive at the same time, but who needs a note blocking their view anyway? I am totally getting rid of this note and going back down to the basement. Submitted by: Robert (California/2005-02-23)
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Desert Stapler
This is my second tour in Iraq. I have a lot more officer friends this time, and most of them love Office Space. F*ckin' A man! For the hell of it, I looked up red staplers and found this site. I ended up buying one, and it just came today. Already I've had people touching it and wanting to borrow it. Oh hell no! That's my stapler. It doesn't bind up nearly as much as my other stapler. Go get your own!! Submitted by: CPT Szymke (Ft Bragg, NC/2005-02-19)
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10 page MBA Paper
I was taking the philosophical economics class last year for my MBA when the teacher asked us to write a paper. I was completely drawing a blank on what to write. The teacher said write about something that you can relate too, so the first thing that came to my mind was "Office Space". So I go on and write about 10 pages of office space and the stapler and how it all relates to my life. When I got my paper back the teacher wrote all over the paper, "I love that movie", "I can see that", "8 bosses". Well to make this short I got an "A" and it was all to that damn red stapler. Submitted by: ALI (Maryland/2005-02-08)
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mmm... Yeah...
I'm gonna have to just go ahead and sorta tell you that I'd been looking for the Inetech mug forever and it's awesome that I finally have it! Submitted by: NICC9 (New Orleans/2005-02-02)
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I Can Be A Pyro and The Law of Sequences
The beauty of an alter ego is that it literally gives me the nerve to do anything. I’m combining that with the law of sequences to change my life.
Take the red stapler, for instance. I ordered the stapler last Saturday. Now according to the movie Office Space, the one who ends up with the red stapler ends up on a tropical beach with a drink in hand and money in the bank for more of the same.
All I need to do is round up a couple of computer geeks to work an embezzlement scheme, and either get up the nerve to burn down a building or find someone else who will—maybe just for the reward of my charming smile. (The man at my house says not to count on him.)
But I’ve been a pyromaniac since I was eight when the neighbor kid and I burnt down their shed. It’s a shame that his father was the fire chief. It took me over an hour to talk my friend out of the attic of his house. I didn’t understand whippings. We didn’t get them at our house. Apparently they did at his, and he was expecting a good one.
I don’t think I’ll get carried away, however. I think I’ll just get the stapler and see what develops, and while I’m waiting, I think I’ll set a few more sequences in motion.
Yoda! You can find me at www.cathykooy.typepad.com
Submitted by: Cathy Kooy aka Kick Shoe Kooy (Washington State/2005-01-22)
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The miltin
At my school there is an undercover cop that looks exactly like miltin from office space. He walks around during lunch and so A few of my sriends took the stapler up to him and asked him to sighn it. He was so confused and embarresed as the whole lunch tabel was laughing at him. So what did he do next? he sighned the stapler in his name. Now we got to get a new one because of him...
This story dedacated to Nick T and my 2004 henery Ford II lunch tabel! Submitted by: Paul Weber (Sterling hgts MI/2004-12-25)
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The long running joke
After several of us went to my house to watch Office Space, we all pitched in to buy a red Swingline stapler for the networking lab. It became the big joke after that to "steal" the stapler and let someone who we would appoint the "Milton" for the day figure out who took it and and where it was in the IT building... Submitted by: Amy (Arkansas/2004-12-19)
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Ummm, Yeah
I am an Active Duty Air Force member serving in Washington DC. Imagine a world where mutant middle managers rule and your only chance for escaping is... well there is none. Anyway, I bought the fan package and have it functionally displayed in my cubicle. I love that most people have no clue about the Red Swingline. When someone does recognize it, we instantly connect on a level deeper than most can comprehend.
I'm obsessed with the movie Office Space; because, it is truly art imitating my life. I even use Office Space sound bites for my email notifications, etc. Ummm, I think we have a problem here... Submitted by: Eric (Washington, DC/2004-10-01)
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stap13rz
staplers are funny to look at. they really are.. when i look at one i'm laughing so hard i can't help myself. then i do my milton impression and it cracks people up. "I believe you have my stapler!" Submitted by: Ana (Pittsburgh/2004-08-12)
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Really?
ahahahahaaa Submitted by: ahahahaaa (bluegrass, ky/2004-07-18)
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Pricless Stalper!
I was first told about this stapler by Arika from www.ArikaAmes.com. There was a thread on her message board about it. She couldn't stop laughing when I told that not only had I never seen the movie, I had never even heard of it! So anyway, After some tempting by Arika I finally went out and bought the movie and I must say, Arika was absolutely right! This movie was awesome, and the stapler scenes just added to it!!! Thanks Arika, and thanks Swingline!
Bob Submitted by: Bob Summers (Nevada/2004-07-18)
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NO ONE...
...touches the preciousssss..... Submitted by: Smeagol (Atlanta/2004-07-07)
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Swingline Story
Well, once I received my red Swingline Stapler, I was overwhelmed with joy. I mean, you see people's desks, cluttered with papers and TPS Reports, and see merely black or gray steplers. So, I figured that I should get one that is so gleaming you can see it in the dark. Its aura is amazing, and the gleam of its bright red coat is very pleasing to the eye of an Office Space fan like myself. Thank you, www.redswinglinestapler.com! You're the best! Submitted by: Jason "Milton" (Indiana/2004-04-16)
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This is my swingline...
I work in the refinance industry. There is alot of stapling going on in this office. There aren't many good staplers in the office. One day I was "prepping" a desk for a new hire and I upon taking the stapler out of the box, I noticed that this stapler wasn't like the ones that everyone on my team had, including myself. As I took it out of the box further the grip was unbearable. So firm and strong. The matte finish was so soft. It had a chrome Streamline emblam. It was beautiful. At that moment, I was selfish. I switched my stapler for the new hires. I couldn't help it. I needed the stapler between my hands every day. Submitted by: Kitten (Michigan/2003-12-08)
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Just Another Hard Hearted Dame
It was late. And I was in the middle of stapling a report for a client. The weather was cold and so was my cup of Joe. It was time to get a fresh one. As I lingered over the pot of coffee that was so old it probably tasted like the bottom of my shoe...footsteps. It was a dame. And she didn’t knock. She came in like a warm breeze.
She wore low-rise jeans and the kind of platform shoes I hadn’t seen since the 70's. Her back must have been killing her.
She said she was from the accounting office on the fourth floor.
Then she said something that hit me like a baseball bat in a dark alley. "Can I barrow your Red Swingline stapler".
I said no.
She moved towards my stapler and picked it up.
I started to get a knot in my stomach.
As she fondled my stapler in a way that was only meant for "R" rated films, the knot in my stomach got worse.
I had to do something.
I reached for my 45 cal., ejected the clip and the one round in the pipe.
I looked her straight in the eye and said" Here, use this. If you’re real careful you can pound those staples in with out braking a nail."
She dropped my Red Swingline on the desk and stormed out.
I guess she got the message.
"No one borrows my Red Swingline.No one."
It was getting late and my coffee was cold again.
It was going to be a long night.
Submitted by: rocketman2001 (Gustine,CA./2003-11-29)
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Jealousy
Here at work everyone wants to hold my stapler and touch it, getting their grimy fingerprints on it . . . sometimes its too much and I start itching to play with matches. Submitted by: DarthLuke (Washington/2003-11-07)
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Unity
Being in the military and having a tech job at the same time isn't easy. There is a thick line between officers and enlistedmen that separates otherwise likeminded individuals. Thanks to the Red Swingline, that line has been transcended! The Captain 2 cubes down and I both have our very own Red Swingline Staplers. We now have a common bond, officially bridging the gap. Pluralism through stapler. May it last forever... or I could set the building on fire. Submitted by: Airman (Colorado/2003-11-06)
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